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How could you make me feel like i was the center of your universe,
While reminding me that the sun too, will eventually die,
It seemed as though you wanted to assist in this death,
Women aren't property
Until they are.
Paraded down the street
Beautiful and silent
Forced to produce
Without any question
Stroke the male ego
Protect their status as human
Seething,
She takes a bite.
I tore like gossamer,
Like she knew I would.
She was a butcher by nature.
And I was the raw meat
Sprawled on her porch,
Oh do I crave
That final exhalation,
The sweet breath that topples my empty frame…
You forgot to blow me up, my love.
I stretch and I pull for you.
And here I stand,
With my mind and me
To orchestrate my ability.
I can count the sand
Or analyze the land.
Anything I see,
Belongs to Me.
Because the mind that moves the hand
"You can be anything you want,"
They sang to me on my eighth birthday.
You can be a doctor, a musician
Or a happy astronaut.
And I believed all that they said,
And that night in my bed
I am the product of my Father’s hand,
a creation of God,
knit carefully into a man.
I am the effect of love and nurture,
a home that cares and builds and corrects.
I am the aftermath of disaster, of learning
Nightshade waves cascade down
framing porecilin white skin
and red, seductive lips.
Her hips, gentle curves
that have been touched,
carressed.
At first she seems okay.
I go about my life busy like an ant on a hill,
but one day I stopped and decided to chill.
I found if I listen, it's not that difficult,
I could find some peace that wasn't invisible.
They say, "keep your friends close
But your enemies closer."
I ask, then, how do you know?
Who is your friend
And who is your foe?
One moment it's sunshine
And happiness and laughter.
When I look at you I don’t just see some sad, lost girl,
I see someone beautiful, who makes my world melt when she smiles,
I see someone whose laugh just makes me want to laugh right along with you.
My name is Brandon and I am a runner.
I run, I work, I learn.
I am always moving, even while asleep, and love to be outdoors.
I love learning and growing and always knowing.
washington d.c. is a monument city looking pretty a city with white monuments every where throughout the whole city, monuments for you to see, which show the american history in our life monuments that don't cause any strife.
I am an artistic soul. I sing, I dance, I make digital art. I am a diverse homosexual male With the essence of a female A flare of masculinity And a celestial heart.
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul,
but with blurred eyes the windows are foggy
I can't see the stray bird fly
or be successful in athletic hobbies
I am a musician
I’m no scientist
I’m no mathematician
I’m no historian
I’m no athlete
I’m no translator
Nor will I be any of those things
I am a musician
So I will be a musician.
my first memory:looking into my reflection,desperateto find somethingthat could anchor me to myself,and jerking back with a screambecausethis could not be me
New players start at level 1.
There's not much you can do.
The enemies are too difficult -
one hit and you're down,
the quests are too complicated,
and it seems the other characters have looping speeches.
Every day is a gift,
all the days just flow so swift
try to live positive & for others try to uplift...
<3
You are here for a reason bigger than you
I know some time you wonder what am I here to do?
Is it some thing huge & grand, here...
Heart stopping, ears begging for more
I play the strings like a mother
Stroking a childs head.
Softly, whisper the made up lyrics
that escape my heart.
I pick up the pencil
lines crossing like
Slurred images sink in that void of unconsciousness;
That daily death that dies at dawn,
And shrinks in fear of the Nine-to-Five pawn.
I listen and I hear from The Collegiate Sage
My mind is filled with words and phrases
which are trying their best to seep out onto this page,
but they are being constricted.
Its still lines constricting how much my words can reveal my soul;
Let me try to explain what it's like to have a mental illness.
Life becomes a watercolor someone left out in the rain.
I am a winter rose.
I follow rules but I am my own leader.
I am stationary but crave movement.
I am a dreamer and I often dream with my eyes open.
If there's one phrase that's hard to say,
If there's something we don't want to think about each passing day
If there's something that would make some of us want to cry,
There's something I want to start with, that any objections to women being unable to have power because of womanly issues is a myth, I know there are plenty of strong women, and I know because of you my friend.
I may not be what you envisioned
That perfect porcelian doll.
It wasn't my decision
Creep into the day
aware with an unforgiving glance on your face
deepend with hate and anger
spit out the foul words that were once used against you
and then bleed the picture on canvas.
I begin to sign...
~~~
When we were younger,
All we wanted to do was play.
But then we grew.
And we wanted--
To Fit--
FLAWLESS SCHOLARSHIP
Beauty is a battle people tend to face.
Some cost it; others just chase.
The beauty, the glam, the entire fame,
Flawless Music
I retain all these faults that could make me flawless,
I can write rhymes, tell the time, though I really shouldn’t floss less.
Flay the skin away
Piece by piece
Layer after layer
What am I now?
Am I
The words tumbling out of my mouth
The thoughts rolling in my head
The despair deep in my heart
i wake in the morning,
having no warning,
of how i would be looked at
like i have on a funny hat.
i walk through the halls
with no fear at all
knowing that who i am
I wonder what I can give,
as far as wisdom goes,
for I am somewhat young and have many years to live.
The cool Autumn wind blows
Filterless?
Filter-less.
Less as in I am less without a filter
Less attractive less complete less perfect
Less myself
Graphite. Eraser shavings. Coffee-tinted paper.
It all starts with a blank page and an ephiphany of creativity.
The pencil feels at home in my hand as it glides with precision.
Layer upon layer of masks.
One small, one red, one plagued with faux happiness.
A mask of royal purple.
A mask as silver as starlight.
The streets are crowded with personalities, each one unique as a gem.
I was born beautiful.
Society will tell me different.
I have curly hair.
Long, tangly, brown, curly locks.
I grew to hate my hair.
I was 5, already craving to use a hair straightner.
As life continues I only know of two people who really exist; Kris & KP.
As I enjoy the limelight of being a versity athlete, I still find discomfort within.
You are not alone
Sleepy eyes
Purple crescents burn bright under them
Boney knees
Baggy pants conceal lack of nutrition
A broken heart, longing to stop beating
It screams in agony
Im flawless...
From my feet up to my noggin
And anybody that's thinking different, we're surely to have a problem.
Im great!!
At least, that's what I say when I look into a mirror
I was born into a world of loss and pain
But I still live my life happy worshiping
God’s name
My mama working all the time
Scared.
Scared is a word I could describe this as.
But perhaps,
It's the gentle shedding.
Of old skin, or weathered leaves.
Both things changing.
I AM THAT GIRL
Just like my girl Rosie.
Don't mind me if I get a bit noisy,
Cause I'm standing up for all the girls,
All the girls around the world.
I AM THAT GIRL
It's a positive thing.
Yellow leaves, from the maple tree that lined our street
Falling stars race across the sky; it makes me fall to my feet
Here a girl of 17 sat playing with her nails.She wore black and was thin and very frail.Her dark brown locks hid her face as she stared blankly into space.
Around around on the merry go round.The little girl shall never be found.The merry go round is here to stay.The little girl has run away.Up and down the horses go.The little girl hated school she had wrote.
White Frosting here and there.Putting flowers in her hair.Color of red stain to decorate for this joyous daySome powder here, a fix up there.Now its ready for today.Getting lowered into the ground,
When surrounded by peopleI need space.When alone my thoughts surrounded me.I cant breath.
Im confusedtiredhopeless.
I dont understand, and at this point.I dont think I want to.
Cheeks hollow
skin cold
lips thin
collarbones.
Shoulders bare
Straight thin hair
no stomach to hide
space of thighs.
All is calmjust shallow breaths heard.Drip driptime slows down.
Your life fades past like many times before.Only at the end you find yourselfat a different door.
A little like leads to love.
A little hug leads to comfort.
A little tear leads to a sob.
A little smile leads to a laugh.
A little whisper can lead to a crush.
A little hope leads to faith.
Rain bites
Wind blows
I fight
For a future
A better me
I do it without thee
Water runs
Rockets rise
I have seen many suns
And many moons
Rise and fall
Cry your final tears now,don't hold it in
For tomorrow holds another chance to live again
Keep your head held high in confidence and pride
Just let go, relax, enjoy the ride
Things will pan out in the end
Who says they didn't care?
Was it in seriousness, or in jest.
Forget them for thier stupid ideas
just go live your own life.
Those pills in your hand,
the rope on your fan,
Trying to invent myself.
I'll juggle it all and make all the right choices.
I'm overwhelmed.
Like a cloud stretching to cover the entire Earth.
It reminds me that I am small.
I am a lyricist not a musician
I write words that speak to your soul not the heart
It may seem uncertain but the lyrics that I write show the hidden feelings within
Covering, protective layer, skin
For the body is just a house that the soul lives in
Covering, protective layer, skin
For the body is just a house that the soul lives in
She doesnt know she poor, Even when life tells her in many ways Her refrigerator becomes empty. Whenever she is hungry she can't even find a whole meal. Her family barley has enough food to last them until they can get more.
Isn't she lovely?
The way her hips move side to side.
isnt she lovely?
The way her clothes hug her skin tight.
isnt she lovely?
The way her makeup is bold and bright.
isnt she lovely?
scrub your hands
you dirty thief
every last pocket full of stolen gems
a crown of shame to mark the broken
wash your mouth
you little bitch
scream profanities & curses
I am who I am
Only I can do me like I can do me
You can't teach self confidence
It comes with taking what others say about you
And making it irrelevant
We all live in this world
We fight to be noticed
Though, we all live in a mold.
Some cannot fight against those who are stronger,
So we let them pull us under.
I sat and watch the stars above
How gracious how belove
The nature and the love
The earth is full of beauty,
With nature unity
What a blessed creativity
One foot at a time
I climb into my wet suit
Puff of air
As I check my tank
The unknown mysteriousness awaits
Bubbles float to the surface
The world starts to bounce in the glistening sunlight
A little more left.
Shift the angle, the lighting, the camera lens.
Fix your hair as a strand bends
on
the
A daughter needs her dad so he can teach her his morals and life lessons, she needs him to teach her how to be strong, and a daughter needs him to help pick up the pieces when times get rough and he is gone.
I am Flawless,
Just open up your ears,
I am Flawless without photoshop
Now wait, this will make your jaw drop,
You look inside the shiny magazines at the glamorous models there
As soon as I see a filter
I feel awful
I need that filter for life.
Am i lying? IM LYING.
I dont want to lie.
I want to be true to myself but
how
In a world so social, its hard not to compare,
I tell myself not too, but still I dare.
All I can do , is wonder why?
Why is there life so perfect, not mine?
The face that I put on is one of content.
on the spectrum of dreams
only one is heard
as usual
in everyday life
only one is valued
no surprise
"let us make a change"
we repeat as
nothing changes
My thighs expand the length of continents
But the breasts I was given cannot be confused with mountains
My hazel eyes ooze the color of a muddy emerald sea
But the pores on my face are often compared to broad craters
All around me I hear laughter,
Yet I am not laughing.
They did not hit me, but inside my soul is hurting.
I look whole, but inside I am just a pile of broken pieces
Waiting, hoping, praying
Water running down my face, as today i decide my fate
going or stayin wouldn't even matter
Would it?
Darling, you'll be okay.
You are being irrational.
Take a minute and just breathe in and out.
You are a beautiful human being.
You serve a purpose on this Earth.
You have people who love you.
Behind all the filters,
my pictures hold natural beauty.
Behind the makeup and touch-ups,
I have freckles that engulf my face.
Behind the smiles,
I hold back years worth of overcome struggles
Valencia
Merriam told me about how in fishing, a safety net can rid of impurities.
I didn't tell her these were my insecurities.
That within each creature,
lie a heart, a soul, a mind- maybe.
My hair, long and brown
My face, straight and concentrated
My body, short and ordinary
None of it matters
I can get through
Whatever life throws at me
My strength
My desire
My dedication
Sadness does not come in the form of rainstorms
Here to kiss away the tears off of one's face
It is not the color of the blackest night
Since I'm destined to be a coffee ground,
I want to be fertilizer.
I don't exist in your bookshops or museums.
I don't have a place on your TVs or radios.
You'll never hear about me.
There's something you don't understand.
Maybe it's the different lives we live
Maybe it was what I was wearing
A permanent reminder runs crooked down his chest
a seam, a scar, still raw, deep, and red
he is in debt to a strangers hand, loses rest
for fear of failing his second chance
In high school everybody wants to be cool
well guess what, I'm not a tool.
i don't care what people say,
i do things my own way.
i shop at the thrift store,
so what if my clothes are a bore?
She knocks on my door and asks me to come out. “No,” I answer, but it’s not my voice talking, it’s his. Raising my 6 year old niece has not been easy, given I’m also raising a young man. His name is Depression.
On this train,
I descend.
A cruel descent from heaven to hell.
The misty, rhythmic waterfalls
I was the girl that grew up in hard brick matter.
At 3 years old my pearls were stolen then shattered.
Beaten,broken and tossed to floor.
And all I could can do is plead "PLEASE NO MORE!!!"
A tear, a whisper
A shout, a cry
No one seems to hear
No one is by your side.
Everyone is oblivious until it's too late,
Another angel has been sent back too soon.
A couple walks together
Holding hands and smiling.
Their love is grand, how can anyone deny it?
I am young and feel as if I don't have a voice.
The things in my life I don't have a choice.
Others try to give encouragement and advice,
but how do I know the truths from lies?
If I could change a thing or two about the world we live in,
I would make it so hope bloomed in every single soul.
If this wish I wished came true,
I see them down the halls
Hear their hatred along the walls.
Do they not care?
Their words are something I cannot bare.
Why must they pick on me?
All I want is to let be.
Me at my core is nothing more than a little boy
Who wanted a pet dinosaur
A boy who wanted to become rich and famous and become a candy connoisseur
Man I love COLLEGE
college is the place where I learn
where I open my mind
where my dollar bills burn
where to get that “A” I become redefined
It is a place that can open so many doors
My true self lurks behind the doors wooden frame,
Locked up in society's chains.
The true me is not who I appear to be
For the world discriminates against me.
My eyes are blue, like the sky at night when the stars are out,
illuminating the distance between Point A and Point B,
but they never cease to shine,
even when the day replaces the night,
Within my heart lay a gap that I cannot fill
A gash within my emotions that lay unhealed
This wound inflicted bleeds deep within me
This stream of emotions wil never heed
A cloud of thoughts loom in my mind
Love was all she longed for,
all she needed.
She didn't believe in it
because she had never seen it.
And what she thought,
that it couldn't be real.
She didn't show or reveal
Who are you behind a filter,
we try to look good and be someone we are not,
just look in the mirror and see who you are,
God makes no mistakes we the way we are from design,
why change perfection with a filter,
Have I got a voice
A voice that amazes
A series of listeners
Proclaiming their praises
My low notes are clear
But my high notes are clearer
And I’ll admit to being guilty
The sound of a siren
Sets my heart pounding
I want to follow it
Just to make sure that
It isn’t for him.
He is a friend
A human life with living soul and spirit
I’m just your average guy,
Two eyes, one nose
Who knows the woes
Of trying to fit in.
But, listen to me,
So that you may see, how I see,
That that’s not all its cracked up to be
Okay soNice to meet ya but I wouldn't wanna be yaBecause being myself only gives me a spellA kind of happiness one could never tell
I am Flawless because i write,
I am me because of my height,
I praise the Lord each and everyday,
Even though somethings don't always go my way,
I still give him praise for all that he does,
Society, expectations, me.
Society sees me as a flower,
expectations see me as the lost sheep,
I see myself as Llailyn.
Llailyn?
Yes, Llailyn: Jay-leen.
Smart, goals, family, smart, goals, family.
I am not perfect, for I am human,I envy, I hate, I love, and I fear,What worth can be seen in my living years?
Today has been the first time I’ve smiled in years
The first time I haven’t cried myself to sleep
The first day I haven’t been forced to smile on queue
I remember those days so well; my scars won’t let me forget
Today I want to say to all of you.
I’m not a fan of a whole group chat.
If I want them to know,
I flinch.
False consensus effect strikes again.
I'm not afraid of your touch. Fear has no position on the playing field.
you recoil, my body like a stovetop to the touch.
filters hide the true beauty inside & out
Can't see what's on the inside because people are worried about what's on the outside
SElF CONFIDENCE leads to success
In your own skin you win
never settle for less
Some day's I want to scream, Some day's I'm happy, Some day's I don't care at all, When I run out of things to say, I feel the painful words swarm me,
Not Your Conquest
There is no distress
In this damsel
I am not the conquest
In the grand adventure of your story
How precious seconds pass by me with haste.
I grip its tail in hopes that it will stay.
A force that acts poetically with space.
"Leave me slowly. Keep me here." I pray.
I am more than just a filter
More than what's behind the computer
behind the lightening effects of my skin
lies a girl wanting to fit in
My words aren't heard in the scene
I want you to see
the part of me
that glass so often hides.
Scrolling down your Instagram feed, you would barely even recognize me.
I want you to see
the part of me
that is hidden by makeup
Hashtag. What's a filter?
Instagram's new fad.
Sorry to the conscious
Praises from the claque
Here's an example
Like long standing mountains,
I am weathered and flawed,
Made beautiful by life's disastrous, awesome turns.
I am insecure,
Searching for meaning in a life I once thought I did not deserve.
The scratches that flicker the surface,
They are unforgivable flaws.
We spin a web of lies in its face.
We risk choking under its gauze.
So cunning the spider is.
Writing new names for the pig.
You are probably wondering what I look like without a filter
I have Flaws
Too many to count
My forehead is too big
My mouth too wide
My skin too dark
I have black heads
O Robin why did you have to go away?
It was not the only way
Inspiring us all with your comedy
Teaching us that laughter is always the key
I hope that you have peace wherever you are
Underneath the makeup that you layer everyday
That thick and waterproof courage that still will wash away
You pass the mirror each evening and shudder at the sight
Is it really about us? What is the point?
I'm just One Life. One soul.
Who says it is about me? Who is the One that says?
Life may be nothing more than a breath of days and nights.
My heart is heavy today, I sighed
Depression is attacking my heart, my soul, my mind.
I try so hard not to care,
But all I feel is bottomless despair.
There is an obvious difference between me and you
Between quiet and loud
Big and small
I am combustion-- The Big Bang
Expanding infinately
Exploding with passion
Sadness is dark like a dark winter's night
Sadness taste like salty tears falling down your face
Sadness smells like dead rose
Sadness looks like glass being broken
Sadness sounds like your last breath
I stare in the mirror and what do I see?
My flawless self staring back at me
I don't need makeup or any type of weave
I just get up, get dressed, blow myself a kiss, and leave
I hope...
Because I care...
Because I love my friends...
Family...
Neighbors...
The powerful message...
Jesus taught me
To love your neighbor as yourself
If it wasn't for that
He pushes you
You cry
He stab you
You die
It could have end at the push
If you knew how to punch
No rhythm
No rhyme
Just me
And myself
Dark hands
Bright face
WIth a dim glow in the eyes
Worn out
By the challenge
Of living each day with a smile
Inside
We all have dreams to strive for
a goal to reach to reach for
we just have to wait for the right moment
to get success like the Romans
the girl they see
quiet,
shy,
sweet,
strong,
the girl I am.
loud,
outgoing,
smart,
deep,
I am both girls unfiltered.
and im completely happy,
I want to get NAKED
Its easy to take off your clothes and have sex; people do it all the time,
but opening up your soul to someone,
Letting them into your spirit,
thoughts,
fears,
future,
hopes,
In today's society and social media,
Beauty is changed in many ways.
Social Media has changed our view of others.
Everything you feel, it's all in your mind
Overwelming thoughts leads one to be blind
The danger is real, but fear is a choice
Save yourself from all of that noise
You call yourself a Christian,
But have you sat back and listened,
To the things you been spittin,
Acting like you ever sinnin,
But what about that time back in junior high,
On this stage i stand,
Waiting for my cue.
Palms sweaty, knees shaking.
Nervous ball of emotion.
Curtains are drawn;
Face hidden from Embarressment
The music begins, and my heart stops.
Without a filter I'm just a kid,
Without a father and a mother in prison,
I've seen some things that you'll never see,
Things that make small children scream,
But what you can never see,
I may fall some times but I get back up.
I may stumble but I want go down.
You think Im perfect, oh no im far from it.
Theres only one, The Only Begotten Son.
Where do we go when we are lost?
Where can we find ourselves and what’s the cost?
I’m searching of the girl I once was.
Looking and looking, where can she be?
I see a girl, is it me?
Name calling
Stupid, slut, ugly, and fat whore
How could one live in a world with these name calllings?
Could these names be true?
The blade
The sharpness seeps within my skin
There's no going back
The colors of life are all that surround,
from which social media is everywhere to be found,
Facebook,
Instagram,
Twitter,
and Tumblr,
hashtags, likes, are all but words to make me humbler,
Who am I? You should know who I am. Standing tall, with my head up above. Looking beyond the present in hopes to build a future so strong no one could even grasp the concept of going backwards.
See, society has this pre-conceived ideaabout how a black personespecially a black girlshould act.
They say she laughs too much
Her red lipstick is smeared and she doesn't play nice
Torments of sneers pass her in school halls
No filter?
I
never have a filter.
I am me and if you
don't like it that is your
loss
Or that is what I
will tell myself.
Be your
self
But fit in
i am a mere inhabitantin a constellation of chaosand often timesi have a habitual inclintationto escape from these wallsthat harbor looming memories
I am beautiful, maybe not in the way some others would think but I am.
I am strong; I can't lift twenty pounds but I can keep smiling because I am.
I am determined, there is nothing that can stop me; I know I am.
Its a feeling not a knowing.
Curiosity and randomness lead me to you.
I feel so blue.
We are so clueless.
Where to begin and where to end.
Don't you get it? I'm not okay I'm not just tired I'm not fine I'm not good My life is not great Don't you get it? You need to understand that you don't know everything
It is in my darkest moments that I become religious. Not so that I can pray to the lord for better times, but so that I can blame anybody but myself. To blame some creator for problems I know I’m responsible for.
What do my words sound like without a filter?
Might as well ask me to reinvent the wheel
My words must remain slightly off-kilter
Because I am afraid of myself without a filter.
You know what sucks?
My pain in my heart
I'm losing my luck
It taste bitter and tart
I feel tired all the time
Yet my heart races fast
I'm losing my prime
My time won't last
Don't worry I've swept away so many times might as well live in the bristles of a broom,
Running to first period, I can’t be late anyone who has been here can relate “buzz” the tardy bell rings. I walk into class “Where is your tardy pass?” she sings.
I am red.
From the sun beating down on my white skin.
I am pink.
After being embarrased by my peers.
Why am I kickass?
My grades are quite high,
for me the girls would die,
I've got luscious brown hair,
when you're older you'll care,
I jump high for my heighth
also, I'm white.
So, this is what it feels like when all the walls start to fall.
As the towers fall and replace the the free space beneath them,
I will think of nothing
I brought this upon myself.
You sit in the dark
Scared of the world
You feel like no one is there
But you are not alone
You feel worthless
Like nobody cares
Like you could disapear
And no one would know
Smile.
We hear the words to often.
Smile.
Maybe I don’t want to.
Smile.
Are we taking a picture?
Smile.
I don’t know that I can.
Smile.
Stop telling me to.
Smile.
You're a coward that is full of messPushing me around and hitting me in my chestYou're a coward that has no heartBeating me up dragging me apartYou're a coward I say I say with grace
Small with a big attitude
Accompanied by an even bigger mouth
A sweet, loving smile
that will quickly turn into a pout
Kind of boy crazy... okay maybe a lot
Can't blame me, I mean some are quite hot.
"Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful' .
I'd repeat it. Look in the mirror and say " I love you".
I'd try , but nothing would come out . I'd go mute.
I spent most of my life trying to hide myself.
I see myself as a gem
I know mysef as a gem
A mirror does not have to show me this
Photos cannot embody my natural spirit
I see myself
I love myself
I am the gem
From every little pore
I have to hurry home and prepare dinner tonight
I have to finish my cleaning or else it’s another fight
I’ve still much to do: the laundry, the dishes, the dusting, washing the stains off the floor
I get feelings sometimes where I feel like no one cares about me.
It is the worst feeling one could possibly ever get.
It makes you feel alone, scared, or even depressed.
I feel that maybe seein' you go was a wakeup call.
A wakeup call to reality.
That grownups sometimes have no choice even if they get down on their knees.
Hush little child,
you shan't cry,
I'm your friend,
can't you see,
Hush little child,
take my hand,
drop that knife,
fly into light,
kiss mama goodbye,
Hush little child,
When I put a picture up on facebook,
I strive for people to see I'm happy,
I hide all the stress,
Pretend there's no pain,
and act like it's everything okay.
I don't use a filter,
and I don't use vignette,
I'm a shitty photographer
no way around it
They all come out the same
tilted to left, skewed and half-hazard
No gels, lights, editing, or daggers can make an image of mine appealing
inward or outward
As tears streamed down her face,
She realized how alone and empty she felt.
She was so isolated and abandoned.
It hurt her so much within her chest.
A half baked smile on her face.
She lost sight of herself.
NIght comes and goes im in a deep sleep dreaming about what happenes next
i wake up tired and my long day startes i have to use public transportation to get to my destination
My heart made of gold holds intentions so true
Reveal to me your demons held inside of you
Open up and let your guard down a little bit too
Releasing your pain is just what I'll do
Yeah, everyone knows me as that blonde girl with the perfect body that's never missed a church service,
Or an opportunity to help the needy.
Perfect grades and a high G.P.A., nothin'n acceptance letters.
College kids party.
I don't.
Isn't that enough?
Loner,
describes me.
From parents,
from friends,
from doctors.
I'm not.
I dream.
I act.
Wishing upon peace,
hoping no one sees me,
Taking a deep breath,
hoping no one hears me,
Walking through school campus vastly,
having fear of being stopped,
Smiling, but speaking no words,
Sometimes you have to reflect
Look back to the past
Take a trip down memory lane
Pop some Advil because there will be pain
Close your eyes and start
What's the first image that crosses your mind?
There is an end to everything, aye, to what we all hold dear.
Time will pass, maybe goals fulfilled - and still this loss we fear.
It takes away all inhibitions...purpose; and it leaves you all alone
True beauty, something I wish I'd seen more,
So sue me, something I don't look to screens for.
The true me, not afraid to stand for dreams or
the new me, something the old me would fiend for.
I am that poor girl
whose waning hope
gave birth to passion
Or perhaps I am a pupeteer
with a marionette by the name of
"Semantics"
Some days I am the crisp morning drizzle
Yes I know I am not perfect.
But who are you to point that put?
No matter what you say, my confidence will remain the same.
I will feel beautiful.
I will feel pretty.
Becasue I am flawlessly flawed.
Hoping for destination, she
gropes toward brightness,
across spaces like tundras.
Once Upon A Time...
I'm no princess but I've got
beautiful eyes
I am soft.
Sensitivity is mistaken for weakness
and yet it is the one true strength.
To care, to love, to cry.
I have fought my battles with tears in my eyes
But I won the war.
I will not be deluded
I will not be covered up or watered down
I will not change the way I look to try to conform to society’s ideas
I am unique
Without anything to cover us from the real world
We will show people our true colors
Who we are, really
What we are, actually
Many are afraid to do this
To show the Demon hidden behind the mask
Behind the curtain everybody sees,
a light so bright that cannot be reached,
An eternity full of shame,
Lies, resentment, and carelessness,
All so young yet so dark,
It used to be great,
The controlling controller roams in
her controlling world, thinkinking highly
of the crazy cool adventurous odesseys
she embarks on.
Her blanket is her cape to escape
The world tried to filter me,
To screen me before I came.
They told me, "This is what we want to see,
Please disguise your ugly pain."
"No one likes a whiner," they'd say,
Stop! Don't think,Just breathe,It's over,He's gone,He can't see you cry, Deep BreathStop: the tears,The lies,The pain,The regret,The blame, Deep Breath
I've learned to enjoy these walks alone
Breathing in the cool, crisp Autumn air.
With each breath I am renewed.
Alone with my thoughts I realize
How beautiful the leaves are,
How majestic the trees are,
I may not be a 4.0 student,
But I am very pudent,
I take rigorous classes,
Even though i do not wear glasses.
#nofilter
On this world of 7 billion
Me? I'm 1 in a trillion
Unlike some of you out there,
I voice my opinion and do not care
If you think I'm right or wrong
That's the secret to staying strong.
“No Filter” you say, as I read the screen
It’s simply written, yet harder than it seems.
Filters are hidden, but omnipresent through life
And without our awareness, they’re becoming our vice.
No, doctor that's not the problem
You don't understand
I'm putting guns to my head like I don't own my hands
I'm laughing so loud in a room with my friends but
as soon as I'm home I feel slightly deranged
To describe me, you would have to think of the ultimate geek, without the look
I'm the type of guy that loves to play football, but also read a manga book
I love to run, and run. till my lungs feel like they're gone
I see you,
Standing by my side.
Waiting to catch me when I fall.
Ready to help me out.
We all act as if we united
We are one
We are powered
But how united are we?
I am a beloved daughter of God
A light in this world of darkness that surrounds me
A friend to those around me
I am a girl with the deserve to impact the world around me
Looking at my face
You'd never know
In my life
A war grows
On the outside
I`m filled with life
On the inside
I`m dying
Not from sorrow
Not from strife
Literally I fight
Every morning there is a bucket of bricks on my back.
It slowly reaches to the top as the skinny and the fabulous come in from their room of perfection.
You saw me as your porcelain doll
your darling girl
Your perfection
but There was an immaculate exception
you thought i was your faithful pet
the dog who'd
"she'd be back"
People have been insulting people forever, and I must say "Stop!"
If you don't stop today, then I will call a cop.
I want the number of racial slurs to decrease,
because, my friend of mine, we need some peace.
We look for sleep but it doesn’t come, at least not pleasantly. The neurons firing in our brains only produce the fears, the fears we most desperately want to forget.
1 I was born into the unknown,
Inheriting a gene few familiars have shown.
2 But why was it a problem? No one knew.
My peers knew not, I knew not.
Play in oblivion, all youth do.
Everything is created
In a Bang
We bang
to create life
The Universe bangs to create Life
We bang ingredients to build a cake
We bang our heads to make a mistake.
Everything is just a bang.
On
Always on
In our hands we look
Lighting up our face
Words flash
color bash
technology hold us
And we can let go
He Stood Tall
Forever growing
Tall as a mountain
Larger than a Building
He's an Idea that is always growing
No one really knows me
I'm not sure what they see
But from the way they talk and look
At me
I know they don't feel close to me
Don't they know they're all I have?
Im running and hiding in fear.
Everyone around me points and laughs at me.
I run to the shadows but your there.
I beg you to leave me alone but your there.
Walking down the halls I see it everywhere
In some way shape or form bullying is going on.
This needs to stop.
I am but one person but my voice is heard by thousands.
Suffering through the same old same day in and day out.
Nothing ever changes.
Everyday im hoping and im praying for someone to make a change.
Then I realize I can make a change.
I can make a difference.
The color orange is exciting yet composed.
Still, a lack of admiration from those opposed.
They lifted my spirits up. Then they broke me down. Day by day I felt sorrow in my soul. A great big black deavouring hole. It took my lover, it took me too, and with it, it took everything that I had ever knew.
The beauty within yourself is based on conciousnes
Most people seem to always brag about what they have,
Others just tend to whine about what they don't,
I'm more in the midle.
The beauty within yourself is based on conciousnes
Most people seem to always brag about what they have,
Others just tend to whine about what they don't,
I'm more in the midle.
It’s a Monday morning, and I am fed up.
My teacher babbles on and on
in his nasally, monotone voice,
versing the same damn elementary rhetoric
I have heard all my life.
He presents Grade Point Average
They say Grendel was a demon, born from the line of Cain.
They say he was riddled by malice and impregnated with sin.
But I think he's a part that lives in us all,
I'm a Fake
I'm a facade
I'm not really here
I'm not really there
I'm not anywhere
The mask I wear
the shame I bare
its all covered up
see, I hide
You see that girl,
Do you truly see?
She's been fighting,
It's an internal struggle.
She understands if you ignore,
But don't be decieved.
Like a mirror at a carnival,
She torn up in sorts.
The time to express myself.
It comes and goes over time.
Just like when the sun sets and it does'nt show itself.
The dark takes over and I cover myself with mud and slime.
Outside in the dark,
My personality and voice were white.
Of course, these descriptors were perfectly right.
My physiognomy and intelligence were Asian.
What are we as humans?
Are we just people with amazing discoveries and ideas?
Are we just idealistic and logictic people?
Are we the one that we wanted to become?
If so, what am i ?
Well, you could say I’ve created this image of myself
fragile and wavering, shaking and unsure
I walk to the grocery store, self-conscious with my hands in my pockets.
I try not to look at the sun too long.
I've lived most of my life behind a curtain.
Those tender, shaky
Seconds just before a performance,
Auditoriums and microphones are a part of me.
But when I was younger,
They only meant singing and
Pay attention to the eyes,
the windows to who she really is.
Meet Miss Hyde.
Spontaneous she is
Outspoken, yet respectful.
Life of the party and responsible
Definition of style,
What is behind it?
The void
The abyss
The unknown
Behind it is whatever it pleased to be
Every aspect of my life has
Always been a splintered crack
between myself and who I wanted to portray.
It wasn't my fault.
I just wasn't good enough.
I was not satisfied with who I was,
Do they dabble in trends?Dwell on the popular breed,No matter the way their stories bend?No matter the fruit of their seeds?
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”It is almost a cruel question to ask a young person who is so hopeful and uncertain
We live fast, racing here and there;
quickly bolting through this dream.
What are we living for?
Where is our end?
Don't forget to look around,
stop. Just for a moment,
think. Love. Dream.
An extraneous hope for merciful redemption
These queer mice lurking behind harrowed shelves
Rapidly engage between bones crackling beneath the hands of lost worship;
There are many parts to me
Stereotyes
Characterisics
Looks
I feel at each deserves a place in my heart
For I would not be me without it
As each misshapen bit
I remember the dark road
The road I left behind
I remember the knife in my hand
and the thought in my mind.
For so long I sat
My dreams were all blind
But I would no longer wait
I have many a friend,
I will follow them to the end.
But do they actually see me
And who I want to be?
There is a man behind the curtain,
In that I am certain.
I hide behind my masks,
Like a magical wardrobe lost in time
Behind the fur coats you will find
A door way to an open Skye
Please don't fly away
Off of the bridge you always walk
Please don't fly away
From the chair and belt as I talk
Please don't fly away just yet
I know you're getting weak
That's ItI've made itI'm doneI booked my ticket straight to the sunThe stars speak and I hear;"This is your Captain speaking,Your one way flight from victim, Land of SilenceHome of the Slave
To outsiders I’m just a simple, plain wallflower.
But if you look a little closer, beyond the closed off petals
you’ll see that each petal tells a story with a little bit more power.
When I close my eyes
I'm travelling
with backpacks hanging off of me
they aren't heavy
because they're just enough
When you first asked for my name
The first thing that comes to mind is the number of times I will lie to you
How many times do I have to sequester behind these curtains with the fear of you judging me
"You are such a bad liar
(it's true)
and oh, you never cry!"
(why would I?)
for my reputation could never handle
the admission of emotions.
That hits too close to home, you see,
The real me?
I am not who I thought I was.
Believe me,
You can't change who i am now because
I am free.
Under the curtain I have been washed
In the sea.
My fake personality has been squashed.
what do people see when they see me?
do they see a boy struggling to be?
or do they see a man being what everyone desires to be?
do they see a boy working as hard as possible to get his way?
I wake up hoping today will be different
Hoping I can actually get up
Hoping I can live
Hoping I live
Hoping
Hope... something I lost
Not all at once no
Slowly I lost all hope
I look into the past a see a girl afraid of trying
A girl afraid to fail, a girl afraid of shining
A girl that even though they encouraged again and again,
Never saw what they saw
I laugh
For a young woman who cries is known to be a coward
I smile
For a young woman who frowns is helplessly depressed
I study
Through his life in good and strife
A mask did he wear.
On face a grin, but not within
And smirk he did not dare.
On a whim, this boy so grim,
Soon to be a knight.
I have two faces but I only show one
No one knows my true face, none
All you can see is my mask
Nobody even cares to ask
Who cares?
My real face shows my trepidation
I've got a lot of people in this life.
They tell me what to do or who to be.
I listen, and I nod.
They are my loved ones.
They see me as I want them to.
They see me smile.
I give everything my all.
I. When I speak, I stumble over sentences.
Like words are so uncomfortable in my mouth,
That they fall haphazardly into the world.
II. My hair is a wreck, and my eyes are like winter.
A man once told me
He told me you see
That you can be anything
You wish to be
But what he says
And what I see
Are nothing but visions
Of obscurity
The mirror reveals
I sailed the seven seas and rode the rough tides,
When I made landfall, I came, I saw, I conquered.
This epic tale will travel far and wide,
but alas there are secrets yet to be uncovered.
"I love you, sweet heart"
No, you wanted me.
"You're my little girl"
No, I was your toy.
"I didn't hurt you"
Yes, you did.
"You're such a spaz"
I'm sorry, I just get excited.
These hands of mine
Have collected the tears succeeding a painful tease
Fallen victim to a panic-induced squeeze Enfolded my weary, bruised knees.
But still continue to dance by my soul with ease.
You look at me and think I'm fine, confident and loving life,
Unaffected by your exclusion.
If only you could see
The tears I have cried at night
The knives I feel in my heart and back.
Who bothers to risk their eyes
to look into the light of the sun?
They cover their eyes and turn their backs
and take advantage of the warmth and the glow
Me I am the sun
Everyday I rise and my rays
Smile..
It's just a mask
Laugh...
Another mask
Calm...
Thats just my face
So much built up animosity, I dont know where it goes
As I sit in my pew
The same pew I've sat in since birth,
On the left
6 rows back
Close to the middle aisle,
I can't help but see
The woman in the back,
As she cuts her eyes
Truth be told abot me
Things you coul never dream to know
Wind is a trusty treasure that makes me feel free
If the worls is a stage,
And we ar the plaers,
Then we hide ourselves,
Costumed with our parts.
To the world, our viewers,
We are characters,
Destned to play our parts.
Behind stage, we live,
Heads turn at the sound of young black woman’s heels clicking the cold parochial floors,
The ruthless power of her stride swings open solid cross laden wooden doors.
People see her as a Greek piece of theatre
Never showing her true identity
Always hiding behind a mask
She goes along telling my story
But reality never comes out
At home, a different mask is put on
The newest shoes, anything observers can idealize and see
You are not measured by what they say you should be
We do not have to keep following media's image, instead come talk to me
Rumor has it that scars of gold kept you hidden
behind a veil of words that were forbidden to hear,
and the tattoos of watercolors began to slosh around on your marble skin,
until no single pigment could be found.
We are the generation of a new millennium.Be proud?Our title could’ve been better, it sounds pretty corny,I looked online, no one seems to think thatWe’re going to be the ones that save the world
People can label me. Best Leader. Class Favorite. You name it. However, that's not all I am. I'm not just a label, or another number. I'm human. I want most of the same things that everyone else wants.
A solemn tribute to Society,
traveling in silence,
avoiding gazes, conflict.
Curtain of Camouflage.
Misinterpretation leads a nation,
deceit grows infectious,
killing souls day by day.
The mask I exhibit is that of
Any other high school senior
Blended into the background;
Hidden amongst other faces.
A flag twirler in the marching band,
A member of Chem Club;
Yellow Brick Fool
I represent the lollipop slang,
my language marks class,
well spoken, or gang.
The wonderful wizard of ostracization
prompts concealment of character
to defy my creation.
May I obtain an epiphany of self-pursuit?
Cease the persuasion of pointed fingers and demanding mouths,
Consume the obtained knowledge of the stacking years,
You think he is cute, he dresses nice, a little player, but he is into you. "I can make him change", thinks the girl that is still in her teens. You fail to realize that he is young too.
I am so tired of all the voices that I hearTheir catchy sayings attempt to mold me into an average teenI will be the rebel that is expected by defying mainstream culture
"I like the color blue and I like to read," I say.
They do not know it is the somber,
I stand behind the curtains of an unaccepting society
Pulling at the seemingly infinite weight
Yearning to be nothing but myself
The curtain weighs down with
He/she
i. At six I knew there was something wrong.
There were thoughts that swirled around my mind,
Sinuous snakes that slithered and curled in forgotten crevices,
I protest -
Not for
peace
in this
world -
We will
have no
peace -
I protest -
I Scream
for
thought -
I refuse
to remain
at peace -
"The road less traveled"
Frost was and is still onto something.
We, humans are so scared and dependent:
Waiting for someone establish and cultivate a barefaced modus operandi.
Fresco painting fake faces onto my own
I
Cover my true self with layers of plastered
Self-consciousness
I want to be free
I want to
Peel back every
Doubt I’ve had on
Why my face
When I had no place to go, your door was closed.
And when I knocked, I heard it lock.
So I let the rain cover me, and as it flows with my tears,
I know that I will soon have to face the mirrors.
Fidgeting, sweating palms, racing heart-
Please relax I say; my insecurities can rip me apart.
I'm so scared, on the fringe of fright.
This disorder makes me believe that I'm not at all bright.
Entering high school,
the stereotypical high school jock,
sole focus to be the best on the team and win over the hearts of girls.
Not truly understanding myself,
following my father's basketball dreams,
My friends’ minds do not blush at their ignorance,
My friends’ ears do not turn red
Instead, their flesh molts as a dead thing’s does.
From purple to blue
From blue to black
From disused to diminished
Everyone knows about first impressions
They are what determine whether you matter to them
Or just someone they will take up their time with
To create the next bit of gossip
People judge me by the looks and the actions they see daily.
It is hard to show them the real me.
The reason I don’t show the real me because I’m afraid
Sitting on the carpet of my square room, my mind raises the curtain.
I take a seat in the middle of a vacant theater. Encompassed by red leather, my mind previews.
Flashing before me, large and vast is Today.
The real me isn't all that pretty,
it isn't something someone
would want to see,
The Dragon’s Wings
Fantasy within, reality without,
Wings down, curtains up,
Straight face, hiding the goofy smile,
Professional by day, amateur at night,
I'm Flawless
Not because my skin is clear or my body is perfect
Cause I'm Far from both ..
But because I love.. I love hard ..
I'm flawless cause my loyalty runs deep
"Shes strong beautiful has the whole world at her hands"
yet shes sad scared and surrounded by everyone yet feels so alone
"Shes Beautiful.."
She Cant stand to take full body pictures
"Shes confident"
That smart young girl
who seems to have everything figured out
with a bright future ahead
yet if you looked deep enough
you will find
that everything is broken
Those kind eyes holds pain
My illness defines me,
I see no way around it.
They don't believe in me,
They think me weak,
They think me fragile,
They think me suicidal.
The people who should care for me.
I am a slave to their words,
a mutt in their eyes,
for bastards like me were not meant to survive,
I have the face,
the nose, eyes, and lips of a Salabie,
a rich man’s name,
This is not a mask but a shell.
A formulated architecture
Based on
Observations
Standards
Expectations
I am not my mask, my shell
Who is the interior
He is
Numb
Shy girl, heart on her sleeve, with a necessity for independence and to be outspoken. Typical.
It’s not about the voices you hear
That makes you hide
Or the room full of masks
To keep you in disguise
Excited & In Love With Christmas
By~ Vannessa Peters
I am excited & in love with Christmas.
Popular.
That's me.
I have a lot of friends
I'm confident in myself
If I talk like this,
Can I walk like that?
Would it be okay?
How would I be perceived?
Or can you be deceived?
Stereotypes surround me.
I think I have found me
Step, breathe in, step, step, step, breathe out.
Don't forget to smile.
If it slips for even a moment, you suddenly transform into this perceived monster of unpleasant, dishonest and ungracious tendencies.
How dare you.
I do not want them to know
How I am just an empty vessel
My life has been so dull
Ever since I let him go
I was supposed to be my father’s hero
But I failed him, my negligence unforgivable
Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtainShe's shy and insecure, she’s anxious and uncertainShe hides the way she really feels by giggling and flirtin'Hoping no one pays attention to the girl behind the curtain
I smile,
I giggle,
I say the things I’m expected to say.
Never cry,
Never yell,
My face permanently plastered with a grin.
My positivity can be suffocating,
The pressure to meet the mark of a standard that is ever heighteningAnd never compromisingIs seemingly an everlasting presence that can either be disregardedOr
This curtain is one of
Carefully painted black lines
Swiped across eyelids.
This curtain is one of
Carefully handled curls
Dried in the wind out the car window.
This curtain is one of
I am the girl that wears a lot of make up, which hides who I really am.
Eye shadow, eye liner and foundation, I wear it all.
The make up disguises who I really am;
I was handed a mask at a very young age.
Society offered, and like the rest I took the bait.
I was once naked because it used to be enough
To bear it all bare with not much else but a smile in your eyes and a thought on your tongue
I’m on the inside looking out
Biding my time till I can stride out
I push and I pull and I purposefully repeat
But these durable bonds are unbreakable
My unlivable cage is indestructible
I yearn to be free
I drift the sea of those who offer you none.But when i witness you being giftedmy heart soars.
They say "I don't get it."
They say "I don't understand."
"How can someone erase themself,
Silently, a perminant end?"
"He was always so happy" they say,
"Always willing to lend a hand".
I hide behind an armor of confidence.
It shines its' silver on the eyes of anyone who sees it.
It seems strong,
It seems bold,
It seems unbreakable,
But this armor breaks away.
There was a documentary on the History channelIt was about how all the gods worshiped throughout all time by all people were the same godHow Zeus was the same as Jupiter, and how Jupiter was Thor and how Thor was Jesus
In the public eye, I am happy, joyous, full of personality,
In my bedroom, I am sad, depressed, full of sorrow,
It's not that uncommon to see on the screen,On movies, in books, and in everyday scenes,The portrait, the painting, the one-sided standard.The model of virtue that's held to regard,
I am her.
I am that girl who is the most liked in school.
I am that girl who everyone loves.
I am that girl that everyone admires.
I am that girl who all the school boys like.
The greatest lie I’ve learn to tell
Is of the facade that I try to sell.
By chance or happenstance, I’ll let you decide,
Why behind a mask I feel I must hide.
Hard to describe our world as great,
i've been staring at
a cold screen, a blank
sheet, an empty bed,
and a split mind.
torn down the middle--
i've been . . .
ripped--through--my center
“Conceal
Don’t feel
Don’t let it show
Don’t let them know”
Quoted from the movie “Frozen”
And none sadder but truer words have never been spoken
See we all hide behinds our curtains and masks of sorts
Do you know the girl behind the mask?
Everyone thinks they do; they could not be more wrong.
Photography saved her when pain changed her,
Reality made her the very thing she had feared;
Changes don’t happen overnight;
but if they did, think of it this way:
dusk is the beginning of the bad stuff.
The darkness sets in slowly,
and then all at once,
I am pure.
I am true,
but I'm not everything you thought you knew.
Hiding behind the curtain,
is a nervous, ambitious woman.
Many tell me I can't do it.
I feel like no one will listen.
Juniper eyesKalediscopesCold.Bitter.Resting faceSeperated mind from bodyagaintyping rants of equality outcry"Bitch"Like bee-sting.Hurts for a second, Stays throbbing
If sin and Beauty became as one,
What astounding creation would be done?
Would it not befuddle the mind,
A thing of beauty and transgression designed?
A flawless child meets the eye,
In grade 7, I had an idea.
A man.
He leads a tiresome, boring life,
And when he sleeps,
He escapes in his dreams.
How beautiful, I thought,
A man so in control of his dreams.
Good morning!
How are you?
Fine.
What'll it be today? A coffee? A latte?
Hot? Iced? With sugar? Of course
Will you be using your card?
Life is like a roller coaster--Psh, that's so cliche.If you really think about itLife does take you on a wild ride
To hold the curtain,
to clench it with my hand
every stich meant to be missed
curtains on a window
curtains on a stage
curtains in a hospital room to seperate the pains
some to hide the shame,
Painted across a thin veil
That hangs lightly in front of me
Is a girl who smiles,
And enjoys sports.
She laughs at the right times,
And thinks that people singing loudly is annoying.
A rainbow bracelet rests proudly on my wrist. It’s my subtle, colorful way of silently coming out to anyone that cares to look.Frayed strings brush against my palm as I type,a constant reminder to hold back no more.
All is empty
then there's war
you see first, a ring
soon a kingdom.
Train your eyes
to become super
yet simplicity
can do it all.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain,
For he is not the me you're supposed to see.
Keep paying attention
How I long for the center stage
To be finally out of this mental cage
How I wish to be who I want to be
and to live happy, properous, and carefree
But if I show my very true form
Warmth enfolds me.
The cleansing current upon my spine,
without it I'd be filthy,
and safety no longer mine.
I remain concealed, behind this curtain,
due to my most solemn doubt.
I am a woman behind a curtain,
and that's something that I find difficult to accept.
Keeping lies, and secrets, I seem to always let
them take advantage of every part of me
my heart, my lips, my eyes.
No one sees me because I'm scared. There is hardly anything more pleasant than being like those joyfull people. This isn't me, I want to do without restraint. Its been so long since that has happened. I do it for others since they did it for me.
My mother earth gave me my shadow.
Her heart relished
in thieving light out of my body
the way that dusk takes wrinkled hands
and a sewing needle to stitch
the sun into the seam of the horizon.
I am bruised.
Let me shed my tears.
My life has been fused.
I wan to give.
No im just confused.
I want you to see my fears.
Im scared to live.
That I lived with all these years.
In the corner, I sit, backstage,
small and scared of the world around me.
I don't want to move, for fear that
I will go far, far away and
never come back.
I want no one to look at me
Bullying is for the weak
Bullying is hard to beat
you have to stay strong
To survive what's inside
You think it will disappear
If you stay hidden within,
yourself and keep it from
she is blue electric music.
she is cocktails and bright neon lights and classic cars and pastel smeared colored flowers.
You get up just to plaster on a fake smile and laugh constantly,
Because that's what people who have their shit together do.
A facade of what you want me to be.
You want nice, I am perfectly pleasant
You want smart, I am intelligent
You want silent, I am mute
When people need me I am there
The same weird looks I receive when people hear my last name are the same ones I get when people get to know me.
The man behind the glass mirror
striding with the shadows
the voice behind the tranquil singer
is he deep in care or is he shallow?
He is neither subdued nor self-centered
I hurt him.
My first love.
I fell hard.
I forgot.
I erased.
I escaped.
I yearned.
I fought.
I resisted.
I regret.
I got hurt.
I hurt him.
I learned real fast,
Life stopes for no one,
So I let pride take hold,
I learn fast never judge by what you see or hear,
Take my faith and believe in the impossible,
If you want to change the world,
All that separates us is a curtain.
The one you’re looking at-
The side made of
Sugary pink fabric-
Is the side I show you.
I decorate it with
Bright lights of hopes,
Are we really glorified by the outcome?
Are we paying the wages of a sin or an ideology?
It is shaming us into silence.
A two-face lie with another side.
Why should I feel lesser because you are jealous?
Why should I feel like I should jump off a moving train because I have friends?
Why should my best friend belittle me for making changes in my life?
Muisc is my life
Music is my passion
Music is a way for me to release all my emotions
Without music, my life would be shattered.
What I've been through,
What I've seen.
What I've heard,
when i see myself the way everyone else sees me
i am walking down the hallway
smiling at everyone who passes;
Fiting into my jeans is almost as difficult as fiting in with everyone else.
The fear of never being wanted is almost as scary as my fear of being "that girl."
One-two and tick-tock
Ribbons and lace tied up in a knot
Like the one in my stomach, the one in my throat
The one in my head that hangs from a rope
Give me your hand, tie it up with strings
We put our front to shield ourselves from the monsters on the outside
Worried about getting hurt again.
My past is filled with despair and depression,
And no one needs to row back there.
I am.
I am not.
I am not to
I am not to be
I am not to be defined.
No one.
No one can.
No one can place
No one can place me.
I am the...
Night before the breaking dawn....
I am rainy days, butterflies and big hazel eyes.
I wonder where the rainbows end and when the sky stops.
I see old book pages turn and kites soar through the air.
I want to glow with kindness and radiate love.
They are what make us unique,
What makes us learn from our mistakes.
Everyone has them,
so how can you say who has the better mutation?
These tiny imperfections are what differentiate us from one another.
She is a girl who puts her family and dearest friends first.
A girl who doesn't mind a few critical comments.
Behind the curtains
Never let them close
Keep your secrets concealed
So that no one should know
All the pain and the tears
Can leave a dessert run soaked
wish the problems fade away
it gets so confusingtrying to figure out who you areas you're force fed spoonfuls of stereotypesat such a young age
and are isolated because we are different
when people realize it.
There was once a girl born into a world that let’s children live in their imagination,
But as she grew there were restraints put on her dreams,
I walk on the stage beginning to shake,
Adrenaline pumping through my veins.
The lights above so hot my skin could bake,
Anticipation takes over my brain.
My cast mates around me seem like a blur,
Melancholy and gray, blank and boring,
A new room in a new house.
It is a strange place,
Filled with strange people.
A deserted island upon which,
He alone resides.
I don't want it.
I just wish,
that everyone will stop saying,
"It's my fault"
"It's all my fault".
How come they're telling me that?
Dont you know,
Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain,
That quiet one, over there.
For she is something unusual,
Something you should beware.
Pay no attention to the girl who hides
Here's to the quiet girl
who no one understood
they called her incapable
they said she was no good
so, she set herself on a mission
to be an actress and a star
where she could show the world
There was a conversation that never happened
Not even a deleted scene
More like a storyboard
Lost
An idea cut from the first draft
And you are costarring
My dad said once
That flaws are what make a woman beautiful
It took me eighteen years to believe it
I am Black and White in a world of Grey
Everything is fixed, nothing is certain,
Separated only by a curtain,
Just because I act the way I act
Doesn't mean I really feel it on the inside
Life is an act, a play, a show
Having the bumpy adventures of a roller coaster ride.
Someone once told me that if our heart says it
Underneath the flesh
Beyond the superficial things
Trying to past the test
That society often brings
Whats a person to do
Underneath so much pressure
Trying to make it through
Shuffles of papers of decks of cards
Rearrange, restage the stars.
“I like stars.” Reception: laughter.
He opens his eyes and looks at his reflection in the mirror
He is lost,He is confused,He questions… Who am I?
The answer is not one that is simple,But could be clarified with explanation
The gates have cracked
The walls have fallen
I don’t want to go back
I found myself here
I cannot let this go
Dancing in private in a secret place.
Looking for ways to win this race.
Thoughts of the mind,
Tick tock with time.
Fear of my very own strength.
Wondering if I will go the length.
Drastic emotions,
I know my secret self,
Do you know that self?
It is different than my ordinary primary self.
That self is hidden “behind the curtain”.
Hidden, hidden.
I know my secret self,
My Reflections
As I stand between two mirrors
I expect to see my own reflections
But I don't
The mirror in front of me I see the relfection of a warrior
A warrior with a vicious look and a sly smile
I am from pastels,
from finger paint and crayons.
I am from the dust that settles under a marimba’s wooden keys
(Grey, fine
powdery enough to make one sneeze)
I am from the orchid,
Since the very first day I lived,
I looked out at everyone.
Each man focussed on his sin,
simply correcting what he had done.
Darkness falling on their souls,
concentrating on their wrong,
Behind the camera is where I stand.
Surveying over the land.
There I stand, hidden from view.
Expectations
a cage of too much potential
making my perceived achievements and resultant pride essential
Can I let go?
or does my satisfaction and ego hold me back?
Eighteen years of backstage passes
Sleepless nights spent looking after the home
Faked smiles while out,
bottled tears while alone
your handwriting in the letter.
the way the blood splattered.
how gracefully you jumped.
and the sound that came from your landing.
everything was perfect.
except the ending.
On my soul lies a curse
It is an evil few can grasp
Granted me with a personality bright as molten gold
Just an ordinary conversation
With just an ordinary girl
Until she raises her sleeves
And you see her pain and struggle.
You tell her over and over
It's not worth it.
But "escape" she says
I've made a deal with Mephistopheles,
One signed in crimson blood.
I resigned a significant portion of myself
To a hell in which you can't even imagine
And for no greater reason than
Smile.
Don’t let them in,
don’t let them see,
keep them all at arms’ length.
Perfect.
You
Must
Be
Perfect.
We live in a society
where hating ourselves
People say it’s like burning, but all I get is the ache.Dull and stabbing constant and ebbing etched into my Self in pricklingthrobs.
Me is nerd,
Myself is ornithophilous
I am determined.
Read, bird-watch, give my A game,
All these are in my name.
Studying is not only me
Playing with my birds is not only myself.
Yes I have the blonde hair
Yes I have the soft brown eyes
Yes I have the slim figure that doesn’t grow
Everything is checked off on the list
4:32 am
I sit up and look around my room only to see different shades of black, each just as lonely as the next.
I have done the things THEY want me to do.
I have loved the people THEY want me to love.
I have concealed myself with things that carry false pretenses.
I have changed everything i am for THEM.
I have become desperate to fit in.
There is a girl behind a curtain
Who cannot be seen.
She lives her life hidden
From the word around her.
Being invisible is her only
Protecton from the world.
If others knew who she is,
I wish
You all could see
The small girl behind the facade.
Behind the facade
That does nothing but show off
And try to prove to everyone that she is a woman.
When really
I have been boxed and labeled,
and am expected to reach a certain location,
but I've been lost in the mail,
I live in a world of crudeness
I live in a world full of venom
I live in a world which finds victory in sadness
I live in a world full of crushed sprits
Ever since my first breath I have always been different
In the eyes of others that is.
Bullied so ruthlessly I had to change schools.
My life started out great,
My childhood has been glorified by playful memories,
Visual symphonies,
Playing behind closed eyes,
Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t all lies,
Honestly my mother tried,
Little ones, afraid of the dark,
know more than we do.
They know secrets are in the dark,
When people see me
They don't really see me
The smiles
The laughs
The "I-don't-really-give-a-fuck-about-it-all" attitude
Is what keeps me safe
Walk through the door and I hold my head high,
Never will they hear my defeated sigh.
Walk a little straighter, come on be a little stronger,
Stand a bit taller, you can hold on a little longer.
My own chest seizes at the sound of sobs
Watching rose petals fall from their stems with ease
Remember
How a touch of sweat will form ink globs
Let me take you to a place
Where a curtained creature crawls and cowers covering his face.
Truth is... I don't know many things.
I don't know why I hide behind a curtain.
Peeking out from the sides in hope that I have an audience
Don't be fooled by the persona I display;
I'm a glorious actress each and every day.
My vast array of masks harbors my broken soul,
sheltering a heart that was never quite whole.
Everyone has different masksfor whoever they're aroundSome try to be the prepor the rediculed class clown
I remember the first day of schoolHow I clung to my dad’s armNot caring whether I looked like a foolCause I thought, as long as my dad stood by my sideI would be safe
I shake his hands,
Yet my toes are beneath where he stands.
He’s been stomping my toes for hours,
Pacing on them as he explains why his belief, should be ours.
Any longer and my toenails will fall off,
The bro’s don’t know.
That what is within the man is not without.
That the truth of oneself does not play out.
The bro’s don’t know.
That the late night parties do not fulfill.
I have always found safety in "putting on a mask",
hiding myself I avoided vulnerable exposure.
Every once and a while I'd find that mask had become stuck.
Glued to my face and personality, and I would question who I was.
From a tender age we are told
Whether it be by a parent, teacher or other mentor
“Be yourself”
Like it’s the simplest thing in the world
But even if it should be
It’s not
Pay no attention to that girl behind the curtain,
Just look upon the bells and whistles I have placed upfront.
But why inquire to see the girl behind the curtain,
When you yourself are enacting the same stunt.
Normality: a fleeting illusion. The ones we befriend, on whom our sanity depends, hide behind a joyful facade.
"A Poem Written at One in the Morning on a Random Thursday" or "Maybe Curtains and Masks Aren't So Bad After All" or "A P
I am an immigrant
Or so they tell me.
I don’t feel different,
Like an alien.
Yet I am an outsider
Looking in.
I am afraid to do anything
Apply anywhere
For fear of rejection.
I know I'm not perfect.
Thick thighs and basic brown eyes,
Stretchmarks from growing too fast,
Calloused fingers from instruments, sports, painting,
drawing, writing, clumsiness, and burns,
What constitutes a mask?For me, bright eyes, dazzling smiles,and false perfectionsconceal the truth.
Fat. Ugly. Emo. Gay
we've all heard what the haters say.
they act so kind right to our face.
but then they talk crap once we're replaced
by yet another hater (who hasn't really seen)
Although I will laugh and grin amongst the company of family and friends, behind the curtains I really do hate the B word. I am NOT a B****. So don't call me by that name.
Im fearless and flawless with my feet on the ground
And I keep going with my head in the clouds
My heart beat, beats and I'm not slowing down
I stand out from all of the crowds
I woke up like this.
Natural.
No makeup.
I worked for this.
Curls.
Products and oil.
I threw this on.
Clothes.
Skinny jeans and a hoodie.
When you ignore me you're only hurting me more
Life's a journey and there's so much to explore
Take me as I am or watch me walk out another door
Not for you but for me I'm doing this for
Every person is clothed in beautiful, colorful fabrics,
But is it their true value that shows
When they dance to the tune that society chose?
I hide behind my mask as the time ticks.
Walking away from this pain,
Leaving it behind,
To try and see,
A new light.
If I were less afraid I would have turned myself inside out and shown you even the darkest sublevels of my conscience.
I would have scooped out my thoughts
Like the innards of a pumpkin
Some call hidding ones true self a mask
but reality is not that simple
"mask" is just an icon, a symbol
removing it a futile task
truth becomes cloudy like frosted glass flask
The outside is built
of sturdy wood with a door
with corners on a tilt
and windows that adorn.
She walks with confidence and
strength of a lion.
Unharmed by any hand
There is something holding me back
Perhaps a nagging feeling in my head?
Every time I see a reason to offer help
I tell myself I would jump
At the opportunity.
They were so jelous of her,
She had the grades, the friends, the atittude.
They all wished they were her... And she just wished she was someone else.
She hides behind cigarette smoke and prescription pills on her bad days
Behind a curtain I am no one
But the person in front of the curtain
I am Sarah Riddle
I am the girl from California
North and South Carolina
And Japan
Who am I?
I'm a joke, an
Immature amateur.
Gottverdammt it all,
You can be sure, no one's heard of me.
The real me?
Who cares, why would I bother,
how could I possibly share myself?
I can’t give all of my heart
Because it’s been torn apart,
And that tender look in my eyes
Hides my real desire to cry.
Arrant and austere,
Highs and lows.
No in between
Just excessive extremes
Of commendable and baneful times,
Blissful and despairing moments
That altered me
Into whom I am.
Chin up
Eyes open
This is you
You are here
You are real
The darkness has finally faded
No one can bring you down
No one can hurt you.
Pull... back the curtain?What type of blasphemy is this?How dare you,Who know me so little tell me to remove my mask!How little could you know,
I started
as a seed
small and strong
I was planted
watered
and given sunlight
but I was planted
later than usual
A few months later
the cold wind came
Behind the curtain
Beneath the skin
it's different than what's in front
Out for others to see
Eye contact feels like lasers
When people are staring, it feels like the world is closing in
Knock, knock goes the true me; the secret me plenty havent seen. I keep her stored away in a locked space.
staring at a crowd- a clique of friends
but, alas, I am not one of them
walking on the outskirts, outsider looking in
sitting in the back, needing some oil for my tin
congratulations I'm the first one
Do I need your approval,
For anything in my life?
Do I need your judging,
your input, your thoughts?
I'm stubborn aloof, unemotional.
But,
I'm creative, ambitious, original.
Behind the curtain is a show worth watching but
will it be like. Different, weird, and out of the box.
Show full of hope and love for the world.
Love for nature, peace and animals has a hippy flow to it.
Even the most honest person may be hiding part of his true self behind a curtain
That doesn’t make him a bad person that just makes him human
We all are hiding parts of who we are behind a curtain
The doors open for shows at seven,
And prohibit customers past eleven.
When the time comes and the clock strikes the hour,
Hundreds of people charge into the tower.
Swarms of customers all rushing about,
At the break of dawn, after the sun’s come and gone,
When it’s pouring rain, when you’re in searing pain,
When the icy wind blows, and the gray clouds snow,
After two hours of sleep, and all you want to do is weep
PASSION
DESIRE
FIRE
He warned me before i even knew it
he told me to run before i even knew it
but what the hell he gave me a run
the passion he gave me turned into something much more
The beauty of love,
Is that it cannot be sought,
It cannot be tracked,
It can only be found,
Sometimes in the most unlikely of places
Skin is not transparent at all
Emotions blocked by thick broad walls
One’s inner self cannot be freed
As fake psyche pervades indeed
A curtain may seem like the same
I speak loudly and I speak proudly
about everthing about me
Ask me any question
and I'll give you a dissertation
I wear my heart on my sleeve
And so it's hard for people to believe
Let me start off by saying I was a victim,
I was beat down and taken advantage of,
Three girls, those were my bullies
Physically, emotionally abusive.
I was told that I'm black and ugly,
just smile
because it’s easier than to confess
just wave
as if somebody could care less
just go
and maybe you’ll soon progress
just stand
even if you’re below the rest
they say
They ask me why I never speak
Why my face holds a constant expression
Don’t tell them now, then they’ll know
A face of half-worn smiles and quiet laughs
A lack of personality, I think not
I am who i am, idenpendent and strong minded. In today's society beauty and perfection is all that matters. If im not skinny enough, pretty enough or perfect enough then that means i'm not good enough.
Dancing around as if no one is watching when there are many eyes
Coming up with catchy tunes that can appear on the radio
Dressing in a style that is whimsical, free, and unique
I may not be my mother, tall, strong and bold
but who I am is who I am and that is all you need to know
I feel like some days there are hands grasped around my ankles preventing [ my escape .]
On the steep ledge, i reached behind me
a flower appeared of the ordinary
as my eyes started to close
the world seemed to immediately freeze
i forced my lids open
and trembled in the cold quiet breeze
Optimistic. Kind. Successful.
It's what I should be.
It's what I will be.
Needs for love grow daily in the grey eyes of beloved friends.
Be happy. Be loving. Be an example.
For some reason you feel like you can look down on me.
I am not a rock.
Not something you can just kick because in your path I'm a block.
Why don't you just see?
I am here screaming.
Let me tell you a story:
It's about a young girl.
Her childhood had no worries,
But one ruthless day changed her world.
Laughter-filled days,
Seemingly endless smiles,
I sit in class bored out of my mind
The teacher reads, but I'm far behind
Hamlet's asking, "To be or not be?"
I'm asking, "Do I want to be me?"
Do I have to decide right here and now?
all of these walls surrounding me
my mask is on, yet still everyone is clowning me
i cant take it anymore its time they stop doubting me
these crazy thought across my mind letting all these sounds be free
You'd be surprised to figure out who hides behind these lies,
You'd be surprised to figure out who smiles while in disguise,
It's me, the girl who you see smiling all the time,
A Mask,
Displayed upon a smooth, ebony, Hershey surface,
Framed by the luscious, succulent, crimson lips,
Glistening pearly whites,
The Mask,
Revealed for all the World to see,
Concealing truly,
From the Forbidden Tree to the lethal knife
From absurd battles to many a worthless strife
The human has been defined by the aforementioned fallacies
The crevices of my soul
Are left untouched by the purest of men.
They do not craft me, I craft myself.
A pretty picture I paint to the world,
In stage one, Society has its own biased opinion, everything is so contradicts.
But in Stage Two Society encourages you to become who ever you want to become.
But, as always it brainwashes us to be a specific way,
Behind the hazel, she's just a lonely little one. Behind the hazel, she wants to the world to be gone. Behind the hazel, she's fighting everyday. Behind the hazel, she's scared in every way. Behind the hazel, she's slightly shattered.
Doubt is but a stream of negative thoughts
Telling you, you cannot do something
You aren't good enough
The beige drapery
marks the edge of the path I walk
it is a heavy wall.
It shakes at my touch,
and I can listen to the sounds
that I may never see.
No one can see me,
Slimy, small, and screaming child, put into Daddy’s arms.
He looks at her, thinks to himself, “No one will do you harm.”
Little princess in the yard, running from a fiend
I wonder if they hear me,
Does anybody know?
Everything I keep inside
The things that I don't show.
It creeps in on me like darkness,
Almost impossible to see;
I'm running around in circles
I sit, alone or companioned, staring out to see
The faces of those around me:
Familiar, yet discordant; seemingly
Omnipresent yet never truly there.
I am an artist, I strive to make
Dreams
I've heard it said that to see a mans true face, you need only give him a mask. 'Why give someone something we all construct anyways?' I ask.
The girl behind this curtain is not an easy sight to see.
The fasade of happiness that I exude is not reality.
What everyone knows is fake; just one of many avatars.
The girl behind this curtain has bruses and scars
“You’re not in this alone. Let me break this awkward silence…”
Blared loud into eardrums
Eardrums of an emotionally unhinged fourteen year old boy
Flawless... long legs, beautiful face, gorgeous body.
Those are merely simple definitions that describe a little piece of this passionate word.
We are coming in to an age of technology
An age of exploration and variation and sociology
Everything now is in this language of electricity
She spoke loud and talks with a voice that unheard of
she spoke loud and theres no face revealed
Who do I say,
Do I say that I am?
What am I now,
Am I now that I was?
When will it be,
Will it be truly me?
Where does this end,
Does this end with a dream?
Oceans rolled,
A curtain you say?
I applaud you for that
No mere curtain could ever hold me back
What's its color?
Its make?
How tight is it bound?
Quiet
that's what I think I am
Cool
is what I try to be
in school
to impress my classmates
Responsible
when I'm with my family
Scared
they won't thank highly of me
Quiet
Ignore the girl hiding behind the maskshe whispers to me at night"what have you done?""you're so stupid""why would anyone want to care about you?"her whispers raise in volume and venom
Happy, bubbley, smiles from ear to ear.
Sweet everlasting laugher fills the room.
Everyone says "She's so perfect"
searching for a flaw to pick at.
But if she is so perfect,
Soft little kitten, not quite yet a cat.
Sick of the secure and warm caring lap.
Wanted to explore and do things on his own.
The glow and look in your eye.
A shock of excitement from your smile.
Spread of warmth from those delicate hands
Maybe even a stride in your walk
My drive is singular, self-relient, unparalleled.
So please, back five feet away-
It is for your own safety.
She is composed of the finest leather seats;
Durability.
People can only see
What I portray of me.
A simple girl with a simple life
That couldn't be farther from the truth.
I hide behind not curtains but walls.
Walls so high, so thick, so strong.
Behind the mask she hides,
counting all her lies
Convincing herself she's okay,
and everyone else along the way
Afraid to go back to the dark,
the past leaves a mark
What is beauty?
Everyone has different opinions about beauty.
But what is beauty?
Beauty can be big,
Beauty can be little.
Beauty can be light,
Beauty can be dark.
Who's hiding behind the locked door?
No one seems to hear me.
Who's behind the curtain?
No one seems to see me.
Who's hiding behind mask?
No one seems to see who I really can be.
Why are you hiding?
A fallen angel
with a broken wing
Still she manages
somehow to sing
Though her song is sweet
It's full of sorrow
Wasted yesterdays
with a promise for tomorow
She fell for love
Humans carried each other on our backs, evolved and made new discovers. Now what do we do? Bring down, try to overpower and hurt each other with no regrets. Sanity is slowly being lost with ever baby being born into this corrupt world.
When I look in the Mirror
I am Flawless
I have two brown eyes
that you know are so rare
Sometimes people tell me that I'm perfect
All things considered, I am-
On the outside of course;
My inside still needs work
More work than I'm willing to admit
Masks are a tricky task. Something we can only percieve. They lead to schemes,screams and being mean.
Living life with a bliss and a kiss
placed on needy cheeks,
needy cheeks who speak bleak,
needy needing nurture
needing a hand, which i expand
my hand to touch theirs.
Their eyes cry as i try to dry
I was quite fearfully made
my love for Him continues
as my faith remains the same.
The open-minded turn back
as for me I strive to be
a faithful disciple from
His tremendous example.
She was whole.
Everyday was words
From the mouths of those around her
Those who she loved
Words
She wasn't good enough
She couldn't do anything right
She never met expectations
Look in the mirror...
Dang, that's nice!
I like what I see?
Maybe...
Look at my grade...
Dang, that's nice!
I like what I see?
Heck yea!
It's true, I am perfect.
So my friends say as they stare.
"Perfect score, good job" says a teacher.
Nothing's new, why care?
I go to practice and coach commends me.
It's not easy being sick.
Not the kind of sick you can see.
Not the kind of sick that people understand.
The dark, twisted, secret kind of sick
That eats away at you,
Who am I? to be exact.
Well don't we all wonder that.
We each think we are one way or another,
but act so differently with eachother.
Myself, I think I'm curious and smart,
Wondering if I'll ever be perfect in your eyes
I try to stay strong enough to survive the pain
I feel on the inside, I feel so lost and hidden
while you stand so tall and confident,
On the outside
I'm perfect
Golden and true
The truth stops there
That golden facade
It's only skin deep
On the inside
I'm better
Radiant even
A girl born mid February
Such little did they know
Soon leaping, skipping, dancing girl
They planned to watch her grow
They took her home that very night
Woke up one day,ready for a change, trying to dream those disney dreams. A bippity boppity boo and my dream would come true, id look like a princess, or maybe even one of those perfect cartoons.
Flaws and All
They say,"Just make sense of it all".
When all I see is confusion.
I let these pieces fall where they may until I'm disillusioned.
He walked the halls with his chest puffed out
Everybody knew him as the head of the crowd.
His confident smile put warmth in a cold heart,
not a soul knowing his heart was the coldest one of all.
When Blue Reflects Upon Waves
I’m staring, always staring, forever staring,
No focus in sight, yet a bright future yields token,
Novel, arguably plausible possibilities.
Keep my gaze down,Headphones glued in my ears.Smile at the right moments.Do the right moves, say the right lines,And no one will ever suspect a thing.No one will know that I struggle.
I'm not going to lie
I'm full of flaws
I'm full of imperfections
I'm diiferent, but that difference makes me shine brighter than the sun
I'm flawless in my own WAY
Hidden Behind Normalcy
By: Mikala Turner
Opportunities run short,
judgement runs long.
Potenial never seen
just hidden behind niches.
In the belt of religion,
Living in a world, not knowing any person around you.
Living behind a mask, because people won't understand you.
Living and caring too much, about what other people think of you.
"Hard work beats talent when talent dosn't work hard."
A quote from the superstar Kevin Durant entering his rookie season.
You push so long and feel as if nothing is moving forward,
Beep Beep Beep Beep BeepWake up ugly, here's anouther day to be made fun of.What is that on your face?Anouther pimple?Well it'll have to do.Four pounds of makeup, and you're still barely presentable.
They always say love yourself first,
other wise, you'll end up hurt.
But I'm tellin' you I loved me before.
It some how got out of hand and I started loving you more...
than myself.
THIS IS A POEM ABOUT HOW I KNOW WHO I AM AND CANT COME OUT OF A CURTAIN THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN OPENED
I can't appear from an open curtain,
I am quite rather uncertain,
because everyone already knows wo I am,
I don't understand,
How to appear from an open curtain.
Oh that the lovely flower, which has everlasting powerGhost that holds the flower has taken an hourWho, by chance will grow?And no one will ever showBut, if the winds decide to blow
Silently in the halls I walk
Thoughts and images crowd my head
No words exist to let me talk
Rogue feelings weigh me down like lead
I've built stories inside my head
I don't understand why in today's world
It's sexy to be thin
To have so little fat, so little curves
It's just bones under skin
And among so many beautiful girls
Not one of them loves
Education though,
it's awful.
I walk into school and want to turn around and go
School sucks and should be unlawful.
Education though.
Education isn't fun but you know what is?
Waffles.
Hiding behind a maskExisting only behind a curtainComplete with smoke and mirrorsDon't we all?Trying to be perfect
I am Flawless
Not Flawless in the sense of,
Perfect bouncy curls that catch the sunlight
Smooth skin without blemishes
A slim figure, but still womanly
These things are not what makes someone Flawless
Are you stuck behind the curtain
Entrapped by the boundaries they set for you
Unable to unlock yourself from the dungeon
The hate of the world can beat on you
The hate of the earth will make you blue
Bitterness can harvest, in your heart
Bitterness will make your tongue tart
Some days the curtain feels heavyweight,
gray-scale afternoon when the weight of decrepit trees and lifelessness sits heavy.
Thick velvet, aged beyond color
Like armor, steel, steals away the light that I seek.
I am hiding behind a wall I've made
A wall that tells me to be ashamed
Ashamed of who I really am inside
It tells me to shy away and hide
But I am who I am
And shouldn't have to give a damn
Forgive me for always wanting to be in love,
I know it sounds dumb and stupid.
But I rather be in love and feel it’s warmth then hurt from the outcome
Of its winter cold.
If I were a window,
could I let in only light?
Would you accept my faults and worries,
Take a left then a right; look up, and than around
Everyone sees greatness while I’m staring at emptiness
“Girl, pick your head up” is been pronounce more then the times,
I’ve actually lifted my chin up
There is something you will never see....
The true me ,hiding behind all these lies wanting to feell accepted ,wanting to be regonized.
I dont want people to think of me boring and she has no life .
My eyes, my lips, my nose, and my eyebrows; not too thin, too wide, just the right amount of narrow… For me to be me my looks are a great deal. I am different and lovely, perfect to my own appeal.
Why say how I got this flawless?
Everyones perfect
God did not create you jawless.
So speak up erect,
With dignity and pride.
Tell EVERYONE who'll hear
No matter who you are, thin or wide
On the outside he's happy
Smiling and vain
But on the inside he's crumbling
Suffering from pain
His family life ain't the best
No he knows it could be better
But he isn't exactly the type
I’m surrounded by a wall
That blocks out the sun
But keeps out the harsh wind
I hate it
But its safety
I've been through it all, but you would never know.
Rarely do I let my past baggage show.
I've stolen, abused, lied and used
Who is this person coming to the surface? I'm so confused.
There is no curtain here. Only a show.
This is no ordinary show, but one of miraculous proportions.
Here I stand
Waiting, Hoping, Praying,
Hours, days, weeks go by.
Few words and short calls;
Long nights with silent tears.
Days of wishing, wanting, waiting.
Patience
The best thing in life is to be free.
No I'm not talking bout' responsibilities.
I'm talking bout' free of one's own self and discovery.
I hide behind books
that allow me to run wild and free,
As I wake I hear noise
Coming closer and closer
I see monsters every where destroying most of my family and friends
But then I see one coming towards us...
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude to me, is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what people think, say or do.
You know me as the hapy, funny girl.
But you know what,
Everyday is a struggle
Somedays, I dread to wake up
Windows shuttered
Blinds closed
Curtains drawn
Don't look in
Sealed up tight
Invisible me
Relaxed
Lonely
Sliver of light
Crack in the wall!
Warms the skin
Click click click
hear we go again
these scholarships are free
and the money is my friend
i write about my life
to be judged by some man
am i worthy of your spoils?
Full of flaws or rather deprived of it?
Perfection in one or an endless search to reach it,
Pondering on things that make me unique,
Blurs the reality of who is the real me,
In life we’re given two options,
Depression.
It's a common theme.
I shout in the void,
No one hears my screams.
Externally though;
I have high esteem...
Beautiful genes,
Role model teen,
Homecoming queen,
Chalk dust fingers
and
Jell-o tongues
Aligned wearing
Pressed white shirts and sharp blue bows
hold
Bright coins that fall dull upon the ground
hold
I sleep with my body turned inward
I curl my toes and arch my back
My spine peaks
As I hold my sharp elbows over my
Hollow chest and
Inhale
Shallow breaths like cerulean bubbles in waves
Let’s go to the movies,
let’s see a show.
Heroes, villains, romantic obstacles,
love-struck teenagers,
You can hear my voice
Is it really your choice?
The voice you hear
Makes you tremble in fear
Who am I you think
Please don't let me sink
Drowning in my mind
I'm no Barbie.But I Thought I Should be.Compared myselfTo girls of the Barbie standard.Hurt myselfThinking all about'perfection'.
There was once a time when I hadn't learned,
I hadn't yet learned the reason I looked different.
Different from my family.
A black sheep, believing I belonged for years.
What makes me flawless is my beauty,
My beauty is not only on the outside but also in the inside.
What makes me flawless is the love that I have towards Rene.
My flawless love towards him is unending.
I don't belong here, at a private University.
I didn't belong there, at a public high school, at a community college, or in juvie.
I am among the elite, with a horrific secret eating at my soul.
I know who I am .
I am one to
F
E
E
L
Though I am real.
Deep down i am hurt,
I know. We all know.The world is full of hurt and hate.
I want you to know I am kind enough to open the gate. I am kind and passionate.
Now stop lashing' at that kid over there. Look at his poor, innocent stare.
Lost in mind
Lost in heart.
Clouds lay my mind
Confusion rest in my heart.
Decision are made
Only when the mind is clear.
Choices are best
When the heart is rest.
How can you decide she was meant to die
it's called gendercide and you say that's a lie
how could she be the one to blame are you insane
you can't control your gender are there rules to this game
You want me to sing you a song, but I'll write you a rhythm
getting right down to what is within
and I and only I cannot deny these demons inside
controlling my mind
where right and wrong becomes a blurred line
Loud Chords, Heavy Notes
Piano, Flute
Music Instead of Words
Rhythm Over Screams
Tempo Opposed to Whispers.
Melodies Instead of Words.
Hidden Behind a Curtain of Brown Wood and Silver Keys.
Somewhere between being born and finding you in the land we call living,
I want to leave a mark on the world
Not just any colon or comma
One that inspires the heart
Something bold like an exclamation,
Sharp!
Within past history whether it be
Black or tan
Born in Christ,Raised in religion,Never have I known a life without faith.My parents are believers;My grandparents were as well.Though in my early years my faith was great,
Counterfeit consequences of "comical" 'capades,
Brain's automatic switch to "courtesy" on my face,
Eye contact and generous nods
Belie the underlying thoughts.
Within; I spin,
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain,
For he is an introverted tune
Purred quietly by a lion,
To be hummed along with,
Like the mellowing strum of
An acoustic guitar.
no one really knows,
do they?
what goes on in your heart.
a smile.
a laugh.
all is well.
except, it's not
My wall is in front of me,
It's a barrier of sorts, although protective and warm.
Behind this wall is my only home, really.
Behind this wall, I can watch people. How friends interact, how they relate,
People look at me
they wish that they could be
a swimmer like me.
My hair has become
a beautiful blonde color
from the amount of chlorine
that is absorbed by it everyday.
Flawless is now mistakes
Flawless is perfection
Flawless is dents and scrapes
Flawless is scars and brokeness
Flawless is you and I
Flawless is loving more not less
Flawless is at least you try
My pits are flawless
It's a weird trait
But it's true
Smooth skin
Light hair
Deodorant commercial quality
I
love
my
armpits
Few people can say
Hiding behind a smile is exhausting
But I'm exhausted anyways
Eternally tired
No relief
I need sleep
But no amount of sleep is enough
I just want to feel normal
But I'm not
Self-hate
A million stars up in the sky
one shines brighter I can't deny
A love so precious a love so true
a love that comes from me to you
The angels sing when you are near
within your arms I have nothing to fear
Engulfed in a deep slumber,
I hear the eradicating sound of the alarm clock.
As I slowly come to my senses,
they ask me,
If you could be straight, would you?
but things would've been different
if i got to choose,
Hidden so deep that it's hard to find
In a deep dark place within my mind
Not a sliver of light can pass through
I am a calm guy who loves hockey.
I wonder where I'll end up career wise.
I hear the stress my parents exert night after night.
I see smoothe ice ready to be played on.
I want a life with no worries, stress free.
Can’t you the feel the rain?Can’t you see the tears the stars cry at night,under the moon light?But only you can stop the rain,Only you can soothe the pain,
My hair was too long, but I cut it and it’s too short
My mouth was too loud, but I shut it and there’s still sound
My heart was still aching, but I broke it and it still beats
Look at that tree
All scratched up and worn
With it's branches turning
Towards the sun
And even with it's diversity
It remains flawless
The branches provide shade
Who am I, who are you, who are any of us really
We hide, we lie, we submit to pressure freely
We take what others call weakness
And mask it in hate, or strength or meekness
We.do not show our passion or our joy
I loathe your addiction to cigarettesand the women you go to seebecause one is killing you
You never taught me to not let men beat and mutilate me.
You just sat there and watched; Is it because the same thing happpened to you?
Exactly like what they have done to you mommy.
as i look deep i see myself
coalescing into a human being.
tell me no holds barred
and i will spit until i am speaking;
speaking to an empty room
I take a xanax here and there to escape my impending doom.
I've come to find that life is safer from the comfort of my room.
I am Flawless by giving advice to my friends.
I am Flawless by making my friends laugh when upset.
Tears, streaming down my face
Insecurities, flooding my mind
The clock is counting down; Life's a race
Of the confidence we're trying to find.
I show you a happy smile; an open embrace
Shadows of the night
Mortal enemy
Of my soulless life
That once again
Has brought to the light
What by day I manage
To keep buried deep inside me
By day you can see
The thick red vale that hides my face
makes me claustrophobic.
The smell of my faults and failures over rides my senses.
Let me out.
Let me out!
Always happy on the outside.
Rebellion.
The sweet word
with a combination of freedom
recklessness and disorder.
Love it,
Break it,
Tear it if you will--
I'll scream its meaning loud!
Life was suddenly full of glee
The mask was somehow now a part of me
It’s been a while
Since I had a real smile
Woke up, hooped out of the bed then looked at the time
looked in the mirror, rubbed my eyes kinda shocked what i find
is this thing true, or is this some image that is trapped in my mind
I wear a badge.
A badge with no name.
A badge with only numbers that identifies who I am.
People see me as this number man.
I am one of billions.
A worker, masked in weakness.
What better way to reveal yourself than to express yourself?
No one knows me here because I have not given them the chance to see inside my mind.
I'm not perfect
no one is
but our flaws makes us who we are
flwaless is perfection in the works
A peice of me is broken inside.
The weakness is what I am trying to hide.
For years and years, I have been so strong,
I do not want people to know what is wrong.
Make-up and clothing brands are just objects to aid,
Flawless in more ways than one
I am a girl
with a flick of tongue, of witt, of fun
I am more than just a girl
I am hilarious
observant
a hurrican of passion
All the love and lightness dissipated,
As they lethargically stroll along.
The stranger cannot articulate
Exactly what is wrong.
That knowledge is not needed,
For the stranger has something planned.
The curtains fall, their breaths' are hushed
She enters the stage, cheeks a'flushed
She's captured the moment, they are rapt attent
On the edge of their seats, even Lord Gent
The curtains fall, their breaths' are hushed
She enters the stage, cheeks a'flushed
She's captured the moment, they are rapt attent
On the edge of their seats, even Lord Gent
The Shadow Behind the Curtain
I guess I like to hide it
My secrets at the bottom of the pit
I don’t know why I like to hide
With my computer and pencils by my side.
I never want to draw attention
She's stepped between worlds, conquered her fears
Left home behind, dried all her tears
Full of beauty, and grace
She's brazen in her chase
Her road's just beginning
Dying to be loved, because you hurt me so deep.
Everything now a days are temporary, noting's for keeps.
The words you spoke really got to me.
To get over it, I use humor as my therapy.
Sometimes it’s hard to be the real me,
A mask of solitude, coldness, and shyness;
A cloak of invisibility, covering completely.
They think that I’m fine, that I need no one.
People always asking whats so special about me
I reply what do you think is flawless in the world that you see
What makes us all flawless.
We are all not the same.
We are unique with beauty of all sorts,
I've never been one for being like everyone else
because it was never how I was taught.
Although, at the same time,
it was both a choice and not an option.
It was a choice not be to be like others,
I screamed but only piercing silence was heard thus I took my seemingly rightful place as the invisible nerd.
I rise in the morning, a smile upon my face
I look out to the world and realize I'm in love with this place
Although my smile crooked and yellow
I show off my dimples anyway, and say a happy hello
How can I be me when i look around and people out to judge me, saying untruthful things about me and expect me not to plead. That the things were said untruthful was not for you to believe.
“Free me”, she screams in his face.“No more.No more a moore.I am a river.I flow.I live and give
A silent killer, suicide
It creeps into mind
But stays inside
A silent skiller, suicide
You fake a smile
But cut your wrist
A silent killer, suicide
You say "I'm fine"
As a growing Flower
i take in positivity from randoms'
Parents and Friends
Strangers and Lovers
But also i take in Negativity
From
Parents and Friends
Strangers and Lovers
Depression is a powerful demon. It takes your happiness and slams it against your own brain and heart. Hope is hard to find, and the end of the constant drowning is unclear.
They say I need to change
to be more
More what?
I say I'm already as good as can be
From my mind
to my waisteline
and even feet- Yes!
I say I'm already
as good as can be
Partially, everybody is perfect in one way or another
Contradicting the way perfect is told to smother,
Others, the beings who are flawless in every way,
With top grades, wages that actually pay,
To the girl with the coke bottle figure:Everyone gets dehydrated sometimesThey are thirsty, parched, dry, crunching bonescreaking out for just a sip of you
Most days, having a vagina scares me,
And it's not because thinking of the giant life force that one day is going to spring forth from it and nestle itself in the crooks of my weary arms and loving gaze.
A girl is hiding, hiding behind that curtain
That curtain right there, I know I am certain
That is her, that girl hiding behind that curtain
She is shy and uncertain and bullied eveyday
Put your makeup on, go to the beauty salon.
Get your nails done, my dear loved one.
Curl your hair, keep it slim their.
run an extra mile, keep your smile
Just so they could like you?
The fact is I am HUMAN.
I make mistakes
Those mistakes prevent me from
Continuing my life,
Where do I begin?
And Where do I end?
Time goes against me,
But life always goes on,
Twisters, whirlwinds, hurricanes, and blizzards surround an insignificant ant.
Hearing everyone to be this, to do that- pulling me in so many different ways
Is it okay to do what I want? What I dream?
When you look at me, you see the young girl with the baby face who is always smiling being nice to everyone because she is always there to help.
i lost myself
in my blanketed tomb
scars on my wrist
and pills on my tongue
couldn't breathe
although i tried
i tried and tried
Rolling, pushing, Jumping.
You feel the vibrations on your feet, the wind in your face, the warmth of the sun.
I am beautiful, inside and out.
From my waist to my hips to my thighs,
I am satisfied.
A full-figured bombshell that oozes confidence in every stride.
I challenge you to say I am anything but beautiful.
I just want to say, THANK YOU
THANK YOU for breaking my heart
THANK YOU for making my life fall apart
THANK YOU for the endless nights
THANK YOU for the arguments and fights
THANK YOU for making me cry
My mask? you ask
is made of smiles
of laughter
of pretending I don't miss you
well here's the truth:
i miss you everyday...
when i remember
how you laugh about everything...
when i want
Take a second and look at me?
Am I everything that I appear to be?
You know me for my smile,
the constant giggle you hear.
I bet you couldn’t imagine what I hide inside.
Lonely nights of crying and scars.
The fear of error consumes my brain,
but the concept of intelligence is wrong.
My creativity and knowledge becomes mundane.
Their learning how to pass will not last long.
They never see me, the boys in my classes.
I sit right beside one, smiling and laughing at his outrageous stories.
Our eyes lock as he exams the room
I don't do regular, I'm far from it
Just makes it sick to your stomach now don't it
I do stuff you couldn't do, it's too easy
When you hear of my illness baby it'll make you quesy
Who are you to say that im not flawless?
I am flawless while you are unpolished.
You do not know me.
You only know the parts of me I have shown you
And what a shallow view that is
It's staring into a puddle and thinking it the ocean
I keep it this way
To win your favor
I wear a mask.
Not in a literal sense,
But I wear a mask.
The real me likes everything
And sometimes nothing at all.
I'm a total girl some days.
I love makeup and hair and Gossip Girl.
Broke a vase and crashed a car,
Told my Daddy I wasn't going far.
I choked on stage
Tripped and fell
I am definitly not hollywood,
Oh damn well.
Got a drink dumped on my face
An ordinary
albeit introverted
young girl
She would make willow-branch crowns
pronounce herself queen
of all empty
I'm a flawless lady made of different parts, it's hard to find the words to start.
Everything about me screams flawless. Whether it's the way I walk with my head held high or the aroma I leave when I walk bye.
Head up not down
Lips up not down
Nothing more precious and beautiful, than a lady being herself
Comfortable in my own skin
God made me this way for a reason
Won't change for the seasons
#Hi.
I'm trying to act like I'm invisible because I know that you can see that I'm not #perfect.
But I know that if you could see the real me that is not my blotchy skin or curvy frame, you would be #shocked.
The Real me loves to sing
He loves the rain as it falls in the spring
that person plays in the dirt
The mysterious shaddow loves to flirt
What happend to the person i knew
I walked back home that night alone. Desolated and feeling awkward,
I could hear the crows above me in the dark skies of the night, wondering why that was.
Walking alone along the sweltering
road, I saw a figure that was unknown.
Maranda
A god damned mess of imperfections that only she can see
It's as if someone took a shotgun to her self confidence and left it full of holes
She knows she is breaking down every second on the inside from
I can name you every bully I've ever had the displeasure of meeting.
I can name you every day I've ever said I hated myself.
I can name you every moment that I've ever felt pathetic.
I get up in the morning and what do i see
A flawless face staring back at me
Through the water its lines crash
Out the other side in front of fogged glass
Not a blemish or black head marks this skin
Why am I here
I ask myself every day
To live, to love, to laugh maybe
I don't fully understand my purpose
Hopes of being something great
Dreams of being something amazing
I wonder how people see me
PHENOTYPE=Me?
I'm not satisfied.
Not just with me.
Or my actions.
But unsatisfied with life.
Do my feelings even matter if I'm plastered- generic,
A Phenotype?
Hiding behind a pseudonym with no shame;
My popularity hasn't been the same;
See that girl?
Alone, shuttering against the cold,
Making her way to point B?
Wearing her hand-me-down jacket and shoes with rips and tears,
Only wanting to make it through the day.
My mask has a bright smile
my mask shows my deep dimples
one may think I'm in denial,
but as you can see, my mask has a bright smile.
I go to school with my mask on
I go to church with my smile
Likes to laugh
Likes to dance
Likes to eat chocolate
Cocolate both white and brown
Likes to live life as me and only that
There is only one me and that is a fact
I'm flawless because I'm flawed
This is my peom about how I feel, I never realized how hard itd be to peel,
back all the visual standards to better reveal.
My inner desires, thoughts turning my wheel.
Well here I am, and this is what I'll say,
I hide behind a mask,
not showing my true self.
As i sit here with my flask,
my thoughts all so stealth.
Why should I come out,
from behind the curtain and give a shout,
When the curtain is more of a window?
All eyes are on me,
But I still want to hide behind my shadow.
Look at me
What do you see?
Young, black, short, mean
Somewhere in between?
I look in the mirror
You know what I see?
A queen
Staring back at me
Not the tallest
PerfectionThis is meEveryone must know
Shout it from the rooftopsWrite it in the skyI’m Flawless
Guys want to be with meGirls want to be meI exude confidence
To the people around me My flaws are abundant Limitless, astounding, and blaring Like the sound of a siren's scream However, to me They are beautiful creatures Ready to fly and ready to be Ready to take off in the world As if they battle like sol
WHO really am I?
When my indentity is swallowen
From now becoming stolen
Because the bible told me I can't be gay
So that identity
Is hidden away...
And to make sure no one knows
They told me that every scar on my body
Was just another moment that I survived.
That every stretched valley was a sign of
The struggles I've overcome.
I didn't believe them until now.
Who am I supposed to be?
My friends tell me be cool,
be strong, be the life of the party.
Do it no matter what even if you act like a fool.
Be down for anything and don't trip
I tend to hide what's inside
I don't know how to express my mind
I hide my soul behind brown eyes
I want to shout at the world, but get tongue-tied
I wish that people could only see
Will they laugh...
Will they be disgusted...
Will they disown me...
Will they leave me...
Will they distort me...
Will they give up on me...
Our mind comes with a They.
Gemini, they tell me I am
Throwing out words like
Fickle, unpredictable,
Uncontainable, unreliable
Excitable, dynamic,
Restless and mutable, a proper air sign indeed
I am perceived as sweet and innocent
No bad thoughts can cross my mind,
I am seen as smart and thoughtful,
People seek my intellect all the time
Always I wear a smile,
I am human.
I will break;
I will fail;
I will stumble and
I will fall
But:
“I will put the pieces back together;
I will try and try again;
I will find my balance and
I did not wake up like this
I grew with love and happiness
my family kept me grounded and strong
my faith kept me where I belong
I might have my faults, don't we all?
A mask is heavy.
It weighs down against your soft skin,
scratches against the porcelain surface
leaving nothing but shadowed marks
that protrude against a pale complexion.
I hide behind many curtains
along with anyone I've ever known
its a paradox in the sense that we are all hiding who we are
from people who are hiding who they are
Hidden behind my silent smile I stand aware.
Encourage the abuse of the tortured? I don’t dare.
But
I stare, and cry internally,
Yearn forever,
She’s a nightmare dressed like a daydream
stuck on the outside of the world.
She’s never enough for herself-much less the insiders.
The words she speaks are formulated days in advance, rehearsed, edited, scrapped.
The tag
It reads extra small
Her heart
It shatters like a broken wall
Every day is harder than the last
She craves the perfection
She wants to be known
i am flawless because i wake up every morning and don't want to get out of bed
but i do anyways.
and every day, i wear my battle armour;
whether it's red lipstick or my combat boots
Tired eyes, tired man,
this dreary countenence is not what I am.
I'm a thinker, a helper, a possible friend,
and I would love to help in any way I can.
The world would say, "No, be quiet and still,
Flawless.
Flaws of the skin,
Flaws from within
Lost and damaged
Working hard to repair a mental image.
You did not wake up like this
You're currently looking in the mirror at a far cry from what it is.
There's never a statute of limitations on an apology.
Tell me what makes one think they are greater, or almighty.
Behaving ridiculously. disgraced
I am ashamed to be your neighbor.
I've been treated worse than dirt for one reason alone,Because my greatest sin,Was living my life my way,I've taken punches and had my hair pulled,
What our culture does not seem to understand is that we are all
Different
Unique
Beautiful
In our own way
There is not a single definition to what beauty actually is
To me, I am beautiful
Marching band.What's the first thing you think of when you hear it?Geeky, out of place kids holding or hitting big pieces of metal,Making stupid 80's references and talking about dungeons and dragons?
Sasha fierce is what they call her
Young girls dream of her
They want to BE HER, to live LIKE her, sing LIKE her,
I'm not the best of sons,
and it's hard to miss my family when everyday they're part of war.
I live with scars that just won't seem to end,
but you know what?
They're my medals and best friend.
Black hole upon my chest,
Set me free and let me rest.
Defying gravity and fate as I may
I only break down in tears when I pray.
Tossing in turmoil, repressing violent thought.
She is perfect.
Prosperous grades,
Belle hair,
Admirable girl.
She's stuck up.
Favorable grades,
Pretty hair,
Commendable girl.
Her home is broken but she has
The doors of a shuttered house stand closed
You walk up to the desiccated grounds
No true path
No sign of color or vivid life
No way to get past the hound
How is it that I am under you?/ Why me?/ Am I really that different?/ Am I really easy prey?/ Am I really weak?/ Does it really give you the right to hurt me?/
I've always told myslef to be strong
But what do I do on those days
when the tears total to a tsunami;
overflowing and chaotic, unable to control
She hides behind her smiling face,
for all the world to see,
She laughs, cracks jokes, goes out and plays,
everyone would agree.
she's kind and smart, has a good heart,
Helps anyone in need,
Nobody is ever PERFECT, we all make MISTAKES
I’ve CHEATED on my boyfriend, I’ve LIED to my mother
I’ve TRIPPED on my own foot, I’ve COVERED my face in make-up
I’ve CURSED to fit in, I’ve CUT my own skin
Soft giggles and laughter of light-hearted child,
Fill the air in the warm and quiet neighborhood.
The blissful ignorance, the sense of security, unconditional love,
I am young, I am Naïve, and I am gullible.
I am old, I am jaded, and I am a realist.
My traits contradict each other at every turn I take.
My hair is ratty, with multiple dead ends.
I HEAR THESE VOICES IN MY HEAD
THEY TELL ME I AM NO GOOD
I AM ASHAMED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THEM
BUT WONDER IF I SHOULD?
THESE VOICES HAVE STARTED TO CONSUME ME
THEY TELL ME WHAT TO DO
I started early, not knowing what to do.
I chose the flute so I could whistle
They thought I wouldn't seek it through
They told me I would quit, like a cat on a thistle
My director didn't like me much
Put it onThat mask I wearA smile for my friendsA laugh here and thereDon’t let them seeWhat lies with inTears that threatenTo flow over the brim
I am the Queen of Illusions.
My power is to make others see what I will them to see.
It’s the only way I can properly hide myself,
So others can’t see my pain, my tears, or my discomfort.
Wake up. Wake up.
Get dressed. Force myself to move. Make sure my arms are covered.
Trained ears,
Strong mind.
Studied mind,
Exercised mouth.
Hashtag: Feminist.
Hashtag: Liberal.
Hashtag: Woman.
Twitter, Facebook:
Platforms.
Say it.
Just say it.
i am your whisper of strength in the battle cry of your demons
i am the promise of a beginnnig, a phoenix
i am the end so long anticipated
bittersweet, empowering
There is beauty in the folds of my skin and the crease in my brow
Underneath my matt of hair and freckles
There is power behind my quiet voice and my timid thoughts
Seeing past my unsureness and doubt
"Pay me no mind,
please walk on past
don't see the lies behind this smile.
Pay me no mind,
please move on with your life
I swear I'm alright."
False face. A mask. A covering. Something you use to hide something.
Behind my false face I am lost.
To others I appear as a happy and silly person but there is more to it.
Hurt.
Deceit.
Loss.
Pain.
I show them only skin deep
Trying to hide my flaws within
I cry each night
I see only darkness
I show them a brighter me
I show them a happy soul
I smile
I laugh
When inside I am dead
I am flawless because I am ambitious.
I am flawless because I am beautiful.
I am flawless because I am my own person.
I am flawless because I have a big heart.
I am flawless because I am loyal.
Symbiosis.
Greek. Meaning together.
interaction between two organisms
living in close physical association,
typically to the advantage
of both.
I am, and have been
What are you?
Why cant you make up your mind?
Just pick one?
Why do i have to decide
Cant i just enjoy this time
we are taught that happines is in the
future and so we must suffer in the now
Shield me from the star
and i remain the same
Bring me to the light and they multiply
Skin so pristine
with only a few thousand blemishes
What is shamed to be obtained
"I'm fine." I smile as I reply,But really on the inside I am screaming, what a liar.I'm so unhappy I can barely breatheI numbly live my life, I can't feel anything.
Do you think I’m that oblivious?
Because I don’t need ears in the back of my head
To hear how you think I’d be better off dead
Do you think I don’t know about my
Bad reputation
Mental aberration
"We're unbreakable," falls off his lips,
As she pushes her pants down off her hips,
Second guesses of the whispers she's heard,
Slowing them down so they are slurred,
She feels those whispers against her skin,
~style based on Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven"
Am I only here to borrow this unwanted flesh and sorrow?
While I hate myself to the deepest core
From my mind the loathing rises, onward my heart despises
No one notices
They don’t see my pain, sorrow, and loneliness
I cry behind closed doors, and dream of nightmares
Only sharing my thoughts with myself
I act as if everything is fine and that I’m happy.
A curtain to cover the uncertain,
A mask should anyone ask.
One must cover the truth to avoid the feeling of ruth.
The truth, who wants the truth?
Varity is a rarity.
Im not afraid to show it, I dont care if people know it. I love myself.
Ive taught myself to think it, I live, breathe, drink it. I love myself.
Mirrors use to make me cry, now I dont even have to try. I love myself.
You are the pretty one. The one who is admired.The one who is cheery with minor flawsI am the one that suffers and feels the judgment of your mistakesThe one who is in agony from your so called flaws
I wake up looking in the mirror
Brush my teeth
My horrid breath no longer existing
I change into an extravagant outfit
No longer feeling insecure
I put on a mask of powder and liquid
Feeling perfect
Behind these eyes are hidden lies,That nobody has ever realized.But why hide between those hidden lies?There's no one really by my sideTired of wearin a paper bag, coverin up what's behind my smiles.
I walk down halls of familiar faces every day
But are they really so familiar
Or are they like me
Hiding myself from the outer world
Afraid to show people
Show people that I am always unhappy
Look at me
I’m the perfect picture of daisies, sunshine, and smiles
Wrapped up neatly and encased in a pretty pink bow
Even my name
Kylie Rae
Hints at sugar, spice, and everything nice
I want to give you a reason in life
To keep on keeping on
Put down that razor, you could someday be a wife
Nobody wants you gone
Stop crying pretty girl, you are beautiful in every way
Depression, comparisons
Oh no you're wrappped in
Who is that girl
Who sends you in a whirl
She has the dainty features
While you stand in the mirror looking like a creature
Thoughts race, you cry
I hate these ballet shoes
Everyday marks another bruise
And as I dance with the pain, my brain is in flames, going insane
Working double time over what should be considered a war-crime
Keeping a level head is what I do best,
Achieving my goals is the most important aspect of my life,
Treating people with care is my passion,
Instructing others is one of my assets,
Entertaining is another,
Sitting silently in the front row
Taking in the voices around me.
My pen in hand
Scribbling in the notebook.
Days later the test arrives.
Writing as fast as I can,
I walk through the halls looking at people,
poeple look at me.
I don't care what they think as they pass in silence.
This is me.
I smile and wave at strangers,
as if they're life time friends.
Flawless is not true
Lawless is the virtue I seek
Awless is what these spreads on PAPER magazine make the men do
Less is what makes the woman's world bleak with the deadly streaks of no mystique
Flawless is perfection
Perfection is having no inadequacy
But because i am flawed
I am Flawlessly me
You see I wasn't made to be without fault
I'm proud to say I'm not perfect at all
Incorrect, pupil.
Thou shalt not reply in such a fashion.
The mannerism of erudite
is all but eradicated.
Thou shalt never reveal interest in school-
In teachers' wellbeing-
I look in the mirror and I think of all the negative comments people have made to me.
From talking about my big eyes, to commenting on my fluctuating body weight.
Seizures
in ability to move
powerlessness
Weakness?
Worthlessness?
NEVER!
Power! Strength! Heart! Hope!
Our generation will be known for nohing.
Never will anybody say,
We were the peak of mankind
They step over mountains
they flatten our trees, chewing them up and spitting out green-
Although they eclipse us mortals on earth
Ever taller they tower, over our heads they glower
never enough, never satisfied-
i write and i write but how can i describe the feelings that i have yet to experience with words i can't even begin to know the meaning of?
My personality
never lacking originality
formed intricately by the different motives of my ancestry
creating me to be, who I be
no matter where I go,
it always comes along with me
I love it
Inside my mind
I stand inside
A room full of mirrors
None of which are any nearer
Than the other....
Each mirror is an emotion
That I have a devotion
For a person or place
there is something wrong in a world where we pour ourselves out to
strangers on the internet
but our best friends dont know our torment
and there is something wrong in a world where beauty is only skin deep
Hold on!!!! So you’re telling me I can’t hide behind this curtain
So you telling me I have to show everybody the real me
The girl who just needs to make her family happy
I wake up this morning seeing me
and I wonder
what would it be like to be he
but I can be he
cant you see
through compassion I can be he and she!
or just plain me
Flawless/ What is the meaning of this word/ The beauty seen here/ This God/ This God/ This God standing in front of me/ How?/ Is it that I see you here/ I am b
Happy is a smiling face
Caring and thoughtful
to those who don't know
Sweetheart,
you shouldn't hide
Sometimes my hair is curly and sometimes it’s just messy,
Sometimes I wear makeup but most of the time I won’t.
I can dress up and I can dress down but what I do is my business – not yours,
I am quirky
I am loud
I am imperfect
I am awkward
I get nervous
I lose focus
I make mistakes
I get back up
I am powerful
I am strong
I believe in myself
“Just be yourself,”
They would always tell me,
“No one likes a fake,”
I always heard,
Over and over through the years.
Yet, despite everything I was told,
All I saw were the hypocrites,
Some people burn cold as the mid-winter wind. Some are as hot as the core of the earth. There are a special few who are as cool as autumn but as hot as spring. I don’t blow often, but when I do.
There she was
Laying on her bed
Hair messed up
Makeup smeared
Beaten
No will to live
No strength to go on
No recognition of what self love was
Every day I pass you I smile so you do too
Every day you see me you look right through
The crows feet and the laugh lines that mark my face
Do not stand a chance against the feelings I case
One less insult whispered sweet
For flawless smile, flawless me
I’m unbroken from head to feet
Seamless lips, don’t they see?
I’m perfect, so don’t crush desires
I search for a shadow to be my safe haven
I’m condemned to be a lawyer, a doctor, or maybe an engineer,
Filled with the hopes and dreams of my parents,
I spill blood over the paper because words are my safe haven,
As a child expectations make us. Growing up we feel them break us. the expectation to suceed. The expectation preasure is to much. The preasure is felt harder and harder. Expectations build our struggle. When we struggle we learn.
Take the candle bright and bold,
See it dripping red and cold.
Hidden deep within herself,
Broken with the bitterness.
Selfish needs of other people,
Beating hearts and bleeding steeples.
Flawless is me,
because this is how God made me.
Flawless is me,
Because God made me this way,
And this is how i am gonna stay.
Flawless is me,
Because God loves me,
I stand alone in my weirdness,
Yes I do.
There is nothing special though.
I go to school,
I go home.
I see his face,
but I'm all alone.
There is nothing special about me,
No.
A cry echos as a childs first breath is taken in this world
the joy in his mother
the pride in his father
You’d never know just looking it her,
That each day fights for her self-worth.
A depressed mother,
An abusive father.
My world is crumbling, yet I smile.
People suspect, but no one knows.
It’s just a bad day they muse.
Inside I’m broken and worn.
A rock can stand against a storm.
I am not a rock.
I define myself by my secrets.
I count them like scar marks or ticks in the sidewalk and cloak myself in them like curtains.
I am stitched into a world of sin, but this design is suiting me.
There was a girl with beautiful short hair,
Blonde as wheat, once so long she chose to share.
Pale as parchment with a spread of freckles,
She enjoys foods with chocolate speckles.
The Girl In the Corner,
Yes the one all alone,
The one who is in the pouring rain,
She has had a troubed past,
Cuts that are like sleaves going up and up her arm,
Her parents both gone,
Depression creeps into my heart,
Restraining blood flow from the start.
Can't breathe nor think straight.
Tears, that I have come to hate,
Descend as I began to fall apart.
Behind the Curtain
By David Orosco
I am good at many things, but great at nothing
I am an outdoorsman, preferably hunting
I have a love for the arts especially music
Beauty holds no true shape or matter.
It is not tangible.
One cannot measure it.
It cannot be tasted.
Who can define beauty?
Beauty can only be created
one can choose how to define beauty.
You tell me to Be me, yet you say its not good enough.
I consider what you say and remember onE thing
Her eyes are hidden behind storming clouds
The voice of a girl who's thoughts were never heard
Cuts on her wrist reveal the pain that lyes with in
She Sharpens the blade and cuts her skin
Do, again, repeat.Look back, remember, repeat.Do, again repeat.Look back, remember, repeat.Three little letters that are a part of meAre why I can memorize things.A-B-C1-2-3Do, again, repeat.
I am not just your Facebook Friend,
Not a profile picture,
Not another one of your precious likes,
Not a tag in a post,
Or a name in your chat box,
I am a living, breathing person,
The only thing people define me by;
"The emo girl with cuts on her wrists".
Instead of discovering who I really am, they only see my many scars that lie on my wrist.
Underneath the makeup
And underneath the scars,
Titanium plates –
They break her heart.
Once a pretty face,
A joyride gone wrong,
Now an ugly memory
Is all that belongs.
"TELL THEM HOW I AM DEFYING GRAVITY"
Is what you will hear come out of me
because I can sing
more beautifuuly than you could ever believe.
I scare some people with my sound
Some will walk the earth without a thread on their back
They are destined to walk their own path
Others are covered; head to toe
Drowning in their own personal woe
Cowering behind their garbed facade
My dad always told me I was beautiful,
But inside I never thought the words were useful.
I would never truly believe what he would say,
But I would carry on with life anyway.
Smile brighter than the sun
Skin tone same color as honey
she lights up like gold
beautiful on the outside , and the inside
she is a sailing soul
voice softer than a melody
I look in the mirror to see my face,
But I almost always see
just another hopeless disgrace
So I put on a show to make them think I'm fine
and I put on my mask
to hide how much I've cried
One day I woke up
Thinking I had had enough
This world this life was filling me up
with lies that told me I could never be enough
But when I looked into the mirror
thought about how those words made me feel
Smile, Laugh, Go Crazy
You can cry when you get home
Stop Talking, No ones listening
You have no where to go
I laugh in light of myself
And I am made alive
Reborn like the phoenix
I was born to strive
For happiness and content
Where my smile saves the day
There is no sorrow on earth
Here I stand in my late teens
Behind the curtain of responsibilities.
And all that's there is an empty shell
Doing whatever is expected of me.
I look around and see a world that needs
These people. These conceited, overbearing, ignorant people....my so called friends. I have spent over a year now with these people. I have shared beds with them. I've shared secrets. I have kissed some, I have hugged some.
I am an alien.
No, you needn’t be afraid;
I simply come here to learn your ways.
My home planet
I’ll admit I do miss.
It’s called Summer, and oh what bliss.
Before coming
A smile,
A laugh.
Calculative, precise.
"What a beautiful young Woman
you are,
ready to please
the perfect Man
that is required for a
Healthy
Happy
Normal
life."
There’s so much miscommunication between the womb and the world
I like to be me thats what I figure
I am smart my knowlege gets bigger
i am appealing to the eye
not a fast girl so don't let dudes just touch on my thigh
I am not a carbon copy of anyone or anything
I am not your rag to use until your mess has all been cleaned
I am not the nervousness that hits me when I'm asked to speak
I woke up like this!
Oh no honey this is work…
But you know what?... It is well worth
I wake up: Hair a mess
I wake up: Sleep in my eyes
I wake up: TIRED
But you know what? It is well worth
You told me I'd be safe,
You told me I'd be free,
You said to take your hand and come with me.
I listened,
I swallowed,
I was filled with fear
Not knowing of the future that was near.
Hot pink.
VERY hot pink.
Bright, happy cheerful.
Right?
You would think so wouldn't you?
But behind it...
Theres me.
Just me.
I am a girl.
I am a woman.
I should sit on the toilet, and stare at the wall, or the tub, or the sink.
My view should be of the things around me, not the things under me.
I am a human.
I am a person.
I Need new Jordans
I Need a Iphone 6
I Need is really what you want, "But i gotta have it i need it now"
The pleasure of what you desire in hand is an amazing feeling.
I want water
I want food
I look to the sky and think to myself,
What if I were anybody else,
I've lived this life for many years,
But yet I've kept the same two ears,
What if I were you?
What if you were me?
At what point does
One
Become two?
Does it experience the growing pains
as it's
CHAnged
And morPHED?
And once
two reaches 3,
Waking up, staying up, worry through my mind
I wanted to find a way to have a bond of some kind.
I didn't need to be different, you needed to change
I woke up that day, with a thought so strange.
The mirror shows, more than you knowAbout yourself, about your life,And the feelings you don't show.The mirror reflects more than just yourselfIt reflects your life in general,It reflects something else.
All my life I have been trying to fight the world.
Ignoring the messages from televison commercials, ignoring the blurps of the radio, ignoring the brightly colored signs that tell me how to be in my body.
Who am I to hide behind
a dark red curtan time after time?
Who am I to act as if
I really don't have anger fits?
Who am I to just portray
a happy person day by day?
Who am I to smile bright
I cannot sleep,
the scene is just too beautiful.
It's like a huge weight has lifted off your shoulders,
I'm not who you think I am.
I am a leader not a follower,
but I hide in the shadows of the curtains to avoid conflict.
I hide who I am to keep myself safe,
People may call me a wuss or a pansy,
Older siblings, older cousins, older adults
everywhere.
Strict, proper, Catholic
everywhere.
No C's, no B's, A's
everywhere.
Do that! Do this! Grow up!
Everywhere.
Okay, I will.
In this worldWe all competeDo you look good?Did you run a mile?Sometimes we forgetTo look beneath
Who wins you might ask?
Well of course, it's up to you.
Wether you keep the mask
Or be true to you
Life is a game
No one wants to play
And the only two things that can be quite left
No one can take away persons body or mind
I beleive my mind can create the world i want
And my body can produce the people in it
Its who I am, just this girl who'd rather be herself than anything else in this world
I'm my own inspiration, no hesitating to change myself for anybody
In confidence, I'm lacking,
I haven't the likings of a model,
However I make up for this slacking
With an extra special skill,
I am in fact the best hugger ever,
Whether you're happy or sad,
Turning my heart with a racket
trying to break it loose
to revel the contents inside
reveling who i truly am
pay all attention
to the girl up on the stage
all part of the show
imagination engaged
When your goneits like my world stops.when your gonemy head spins in loops.when your gonemy heart feels hollow.but only when your gone.
Captivated by her beauty, the beast overcomes me.The beast i cannot tame. The beast that tells me who i am. And who i want to be.I see the way you look at her.The way she looks at you.
I wanna tell you everything
I wanna let you in
But innocence is so long gone
Where would I begin?
If you were me, you’d do the same
You will never know my pain
But maybe this time I will fall
Dear Artists,
We all have 3 common grounds of expressions
I.
One common idea to keep our feets grounded while the rest of our heads wandering in the universe
Because we artists are the universe
To know who you are is a lie
what you think or want to be isn't exactly accepted in reality.
So I became what everyone thought of me
I believed whatever they taught me .
Let's be raw and emotional here,
Growing up, I shriveled away in the corners of the room
enveloped in a young girls insecurities,
Welcome to my High School
Where teachers and students mingle
Where the confused kid gets all the love he can
Where friends are everywhere
Oh look over there
That girl just got all those kisses from those guys
To be strong it makes you feel flawless
I want everyone to see what I see
To be strong means to always take chances
Chase the dreams that appear in front of me
To stay strong in times that seem doubtful
On the good side of the curtain,
I am the smiling, sweet girl that everyone can see.
On the bad side of the curtain,
I am the dying, angry girl that only I can view.
On the good side,
Me.
Who am I underneath this costume?
They want to define me.
I let them.
Family is the world.
Suffocated by loving arms.
I'm cute. I'm smart.
I'm gentle, docile,
Looking in the mirror I stand and stare at my bare face
Not bothering to hide behind the mask that most girls wear
My fingertips glide over the surface of my face
She takes her seat before the glass.
The reflection she sees so far from what she feels.
“Why do we show the world a mask?”
She pondered.
The true me?
Well there's a mystery.
Even I, myself find trouble to congregate my thoughts.
Maybe that is me-a plethora of lost thoughts?
Microscopic thoughts. Dots.
They say Dijah you'd be a baddie if you only lost a couple pounds
I'm not going to dit around and act like I ain't thought about it
A perfect body is more appealing but it's funny how
Who am I?
Behind this curtain
I hide, but no one sees me.
Confused
Scared, lonely
Different and not your most likely
Candidate for I
Don't truly know. Who I am
Grab your mask
From the table
Before anything else
Use your make-up
So heavily plastered on
To help too
Keep it a secret
Don't tell anyone
They can't know what you do
Oh my hair! Oh my hair!
How I love and take such care
Don’t look at my face
That’s not my best place
Oh this hair of mine!
In the morning it takes so much time
"Don't you feel beautiful today?"
my mother asks.
Her badgering of my clothing,
the constant scorn she speaks
haunts my mind as I approach my descent.
"Femininity suits you well,"
Flawless?
I guess
The Best
Greatest
But, I must Confess
That
Reguardless how I look
I am Impeccable and Immaculate
I bet those girls can't relate
I'm just too great
Some consider it an encumbrance
But I use it as motivation
There is no reason to have frustration
As I grind I know my life is limitless
My brother knows my success is imminent
During any given situation
Short
I am Short
I've known this for long time but I just don't undertsand
I am Short
But I'm tall in spirit
I am short
Pay no attention to that girl behind the curtain. She only comes out when she's all alone. The mask is only taken off when she is by herself.
I am not a perfect weight, I am way heavier than I'd like to be. I am not the most beautiful girl you'll ever lay your eyes on, there are girls way prettier than me. I cant speak French fluently, even though I've been learning it for years now.
Me... I am flawless.
I am the definition of flawless from head to toe. Beauty queen and a model whose runway is her room.
When you feel sad, insecure, helpless
Worthless, you must find strength somewhere
Somewhere that cannot be overlooked
Somewhere that is GREAT
Somewhere that is positive
Somewhere that can't be beat
Flawless me.
Flawless me.
The only me I wish to be.
Though I am full of anxiety.
I will continue to be,
Flawless me.
Flawless me.
The LGBT community,
Is part of me.
Flawless me.
I'm afraid someone will see me at my darkest
When no light shine through the clouds
So I put on a smile and continue to breath
Deeply.
I want to shield you from the cloud and the rain
Seven billion billion billion atoms in the human body.
Each one, creating a different part of a DNA sequence;
that makes us different by point one percent.
You are ninety nine point nine pecent me,
This curtain here is ratchet,
It’s overbearing and quite resilient.
It’s embedded with daggers,
Preventing it from prevailing.
It’s discriminate to all,
a daisy on the side of the road
dust blowing in my face
trying to move but my roots keep me grounded
is there purpose,
what is identity,
what sets ME apart form the others?
flowers dont move;
Because
I'm a broken glass behind the scenesI am an entire home in shamblesI'm only so sturdyThese shelves can only hold a heartAbsolutely nothing else
Once a friend said:
"Your eyes are always smiling"
That was one of the nicest compliments anyone has given me.
My eyes are not anything to "ooh" or "aah" about,
The mask that one presents to the world is not so much a place to hide, but more a fear of whats inside.
A day filled with guilt and pleasure.
How could someone defy that which sustains them?
Yet how hard have I worked to indulge?
Meager dreariness coats the beginning of everyday.
In my younger years
I use to come home my face in tears
Always told that I wasn’t good enough
I tried to keep tough
My door is closed,
My life is not exposed,
The fear of being seen for who I am,
I simply think people don't give a damb.
I will open my heart and my door,
And put my feet stead-fast on that floor,
The corset is now off,
Putting all the guard down.
What if they should flout or scoff?
Sea of shame, go ahead, drown.
Fabricating to care,
Pitching bad self esteem.
Yet they gossip and stare,
Pulgarcita: Thumbelina.
Living in the grass.
Inquires of the day to day,
yet no one seems to ask
about the way
she seemed to hurl
herself into the world.
Pulgarcita: Thumbelina
Two masks,Safety in numbers,One a closed-in clown,Another a screaming shadow,Both pieces of a puzzle,Two numbers of the unbreakable code that hides what’s within,
"You should come to school with your hair straightened!"
Why?
Sorry, Conair, nothing personal.
Big, brown, and bushy when brushed, my curly hair is my thing.
I've always been afraid to take this mask off of my face.
Afraid that no one will like me and I'll never find my place.
Within these brick school walls I hear them laughing and pointing at me.
10
9
8
You count down,
It's almost time.
7
6
5
The tears they fall,
No going back now.
4
In our early schooling years we were taught to share;
The Montessori way.
Parents at home continue the route of compassion
“Share your juice with your sister,” mother said while standing at the picnic table.
We werent born the same.
Everyone is different
mankind has flaws
Even the sky has lightning and thunder
but who is to say that isnt beautiful?
Some people may see the flaws in you
Props and patterns,
It's all up to you.
How do you choose to feel today?
You see,
Lately, you haven't been giving yourself enough thanks;
Enough paint to finish your masterpiece.
For to show the world who I am inside
Would be like peeling off all of my skin
It’s easier to cover up and hide
Than to try to let anyone else in
I’ve tried to tell my secrets to the world
Not another love can compare to you,
Or was it even love at all?
I had your undivided attention at first,
Or was it only for the thirst?
The first time I rested my head on your chest,
hearing the warmth of just you being alive.
I felt flawless.
Like the beat of music,
I am flawless.
Coincidng, our hearts beat like that music.
Free money for one's poverty
It takes a little bit of "change" to make a CHANGE in society.
I wake up and look in the mirror
To red marks and scars on my face and body
I cover them with makeup and whatever I can find
But what I don't have to cover up is what makes me
FLAWLESS
Why does the wind blow on the other side?
Feeling as if I'm trapped in my own of forgetfullness
I Am Not Like Them
I’m quiet.
I don’t talk around them.
I am scared.
What if they don’t like me?
Inside, a flower ready to bloom.
Nobody understands.
I want nothing more,
see, if you can change your thoughts then you can change your world
if you can change your world, you can change your lifestyle
dream big, have ambitions, have hope
Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain
Peeking is not allowed.
You want to see her?
Well you can’t.
Direct your attention instead to the façade standing before you
I am inherently by birth a flawed creature
I was born from the earth with my mother's heart and my father's features
Raised in the darkness just as a lotus would drive forth from the dirt to the heavens above
Guess I don't get it
as I get all the credit.
I get I'm the President,
but without me really trying,
GLOW UP getting it's own article
made mom so proud-
I wish we were taught how to walk
Or to strut, flaunt our stuff
To others wearing blindfolds
I wish we were taught how to talk
Or to yell, sing and shout
To others wearing earplugs
When people see me they see
A beautiful, black woman
They have no idea what my story is
They don't know the pain in my smile
They don't know the tiredness in my eyes
They just see what I allow them to see
Teacher, condemn me,
For I am not an athelete.
Classmates, bully me,
For I am not petite.
Break me down for what I cannot control.
Tear me apart for this illness that began at eleven years old.
She laughs
She's okay
Nothing is wrong
They think she's okay
She begins to think so too
At home she stares at the mirror
Hours pass
She takes off her smile
Her laugh
Her makeup
No one will know; who you really are;
Until they understand; all your scars.
Behind the smile; a face of tears;
Past the laughter; the you who fears;
The one who screams; without a sound
I see myself a vision of perfection,
Regardless of what my mother says that only god is,
If only god is I am god of my own self vision,
Anything else is kept to myself as self imprisonment,
Her days were devoured by darkness.
Her life was empty, yet she was filled with sadness.
Her purpose on earth was often a question.
Verdadera princesa
A true princess
A young woman in a big world
A first Gen' American
The dead end sign is just a sign.
And that dividing wall is just a wall.
Those stereotypes are just words
from the ignorant ones.
I am better than what you think.
I am more than just a minority,
Quiet and shy, is how they see me,
but, is that who I am really?
Oh yes, there are things that they do not know,
thre are may things I choose not to show.
The truth is, I fear
(that no one understands:
why I threw away the keys,
why my heart is locked,
guarded by invisible insecurities,
that you need more than a knife,
The crown held high upon my head
The pain I feel in my heart as I look out
The Kingdom before me filled with dread
I hear a man in the crowd shout
"Where is our Queen?"
I see you here, Great Mango tree.
How your steady green leaves go to and fro.
How I see myself in you wherever I go.
Though you appear tall and strong, without a care in the world,
At the age of 10
she told me I wasn't going to be pretty for the rest of my life
Long blonde hair.
Part of that family
That big nice family.
Everyone knows them in town.
Homecoming queen.
So small,
So cute,
So sweet,
So quiet.
Unblemished
Without mark or scar
Perfect skin free of acne
Not a hair out of place
Makeup painted on your face
Teeth, straight and white
Flaw
A mark that distracts from appearance...
This face you see
It isn't really me
Why don't you talk
Because I talk a lot
Let me hear your voice
No, that's a foolish choice
You might not like me
I'm a far different person
than you think me to be
If one laid on a prairie at night, they would experience the world and become awestruck
Despair! Despair!
Senior Year!
It is the end
of my high school career.
College
'round the corner.
Applications
Statements
Money money!!
Charish it.
Senior year.
I don't wake up perfect
and my teeth aren't white
but if there's one thing I'm proud of
I’ve never touched a throne,
Sitting, overlooking everything I was
And everything I could have turned into.
When wings grew out of my shoulder blades
I questioned if I would be able to fit through
I used to let beauty define me…..As I gaze at my reflection, I wonder how my life changed so dramatically fast. I went from being one of the popular kids to one of the “losers”. But the funny thing is, this new label does not bother me.
What beauty is to me is not what it is to you
Beauty is not measured by the amount of makeup I wear
Beauty is not measured by the clothes I wear
Beauty is not measured by the sizes of my bra and rear
I have flaws
but so do you
my flaws make me perfectly imperfectly
your flaws do to
I smile at my flaws with my crooked smile
Because I know
I love myself
Flaws and all
Hurt is not an emotion. It is a growth that multiplies with you as you age, spreading like cancer to your heart, and hardening it to the point of never wanting to feel again.
Taking subtle breaths,
I glance both ways
and take two steps ahead.
Away from the threads
that bind me, I push on
toward the verge.
Sleeves and wishes
"She's obviously vapid because
she's going into fashion and likes
makeup!" Is what everyone seems
to think when they meet me.
Hell, I even played a
teacher with this bit.
Yes, I am a girl.
I never was the girl who had it all
Hell, I was the one who had nothing at all.
But here I am,
I stand before you
proud and tall.
No money nor connections,
just sheer ambition
In the confines of my mind,
There's a serious care of mine,
I ask myself why?
The struggle is green.
On my way, I've started
Relying on others,
Two worlds stand apart,
Separated by only the Moon and the Stars,
Connected through a tiny thread,
for the defintion of beauty
like the definition of art
cannot be defined
every wound and scar only to add to the shine
for all is valued
they may doubt it but I never will
Flaws are beautiful
Reflection of the dew staring back at you
The ethereal gleam tearing every seam
You and I, or I and you?
You amongst the chosen few.
Can you see behind the dirt and grime?
The uncharismatic whine?
When I was six months old,
my father died and left me,
He was a mixture of antidepressants and Camel cigarettes.
His truck became his casket, as it hit the swaying Dogwood tree.
Sometimes I'm the Earth.
I have a thin
Yet impenetribaly dense
Crust all around me.
Nobody is allowed to go in.
Nobody.
Unless they want to burn to death with me.
Reality fades away,
and once again I'm trapped in my mind.
I'm left with my thoughts,
that scare me with all their doubts.
This mask is starting to feel comfortable
My emotions are unknown and so many other little things
I know myself but little by little is seems the pieces are fading
If I show my real self they won't understand
I didn't wake up like this
I couldn't be any less from flawless
My parents weren't around to see me growing into this
you thought this time
it would go by the book again
it almost always does
you know the one
it's my own edition
maybe
but its always the same story
or it was supposed to be
Sometimes I show the real meThe one that no one ever seesThe one who doesn't know what see wantsThe one who rarely ever talksThis me doesn't know what to say
The fog of my breath leaves a whimper in the air
The days merge to weeks as I wait to be found
Bound by the restraints of my condescending mind
My patience and hope sinks in a drain of my despair
i trythat’s what it isto be humanto trywhen allyou want todo is cryi’ve failedso many timesi’ve brokentoo many heartsi haven’t beenbravethe silver
the whole world smiles with - me?
Crazy thick, strawberry blonde "locks",
nervously flipping them with an old book and cup of tea,
an unexpected special moment of a smile with a stranger
Who is this lady in the mirror?
Nerly flawless, intelligent, attentive
Cordial, joyous, expected
She whimpers
A light shines bright
But who would ever notice
That the shadows of her face
These walls I put up to protect,
In the end, only help to project.
This glass from which I hide behind,
Only reveals my truest mind.
I built a house around myself,
In order to present myself.
Me:
-orderly
-kind
-tactful
-driven...
but then there's the part of me that is hidden
Family:
-breaking
school is so tough And teachers just want To make it rough.People always want to fight even out in plain Sight. So disgusting, bet these people aren't used to adjusting.
When i say this just know its true, you are beautiful because god made you. You might think your this or your that but just know that your eveything someone looks for , even if you think your fat.
My life is amazing no need to change my life is flawless to me
My flaws are what make me unique
Thought the hunt comes pain but thought the joy comes happiness
I'm the image of a butterfly beauty and smart
They tell me,
Do your homework, study well, and get good grades,
Not caring about what I feel,
Identifying me as a number, just another part of the machine,
Your beautiful mind is sick
You see yourself as less than you are
I know you think you're not worth a crap,
But your very being makes me glad
I hope you know you're worth more than a mountain of gold
Walk with confidence
Talk with purpose
Dress with class
Speak with sass
Let there be beauty in your air
Be one who leaves them with wonder
See who you want to be
Line your lips
How heavy was I for 9 months?
Was I a bothersome lodger?
Did I ruin your sleeping pattern?
Through my kicks and summersaults?
As a toddler I ran around
You chase and caught me with tickles
Remembering the time
when i wanted to get older,
thought things would be a lot easier
as I`ve seen grown ups do their own way.
As my height grows inch by inch,
clothes I wear changed day by day.
All great things had small beginnings.
We constitute so many complex ideas and
Wonderful visions but sometimes we don’t do
Anything about it,
Like a caterpillar that’s safely in the
Shadows under the leaves.
Big dreams with big plans
My ambitions evolving, improving each day
With adults that have to say
"Get a real job"
The feel of a clean sheet
The satisfaction of a job well done
Things I love can't be summed up
But I can say one is the sight of my pup
When she wags her tail at me
My skin is not milkyMy hair is not shinyMy nails are not manicuredMy body is not toned My eyebrows aren't tweezedMy teeth are not perfectly straight
I love my dimples
I love bellowing laughter
I love being loud.
I love violin
I loe making punny jokes
I love seeing smiles.
I love uniqueness
Because I am not like you
the impending sadness I feel
runs perpendicular
to the happiness you give me,
and the confusion between the two
causes so much grief.
Unfortunately
I do not possess the ability
The curtain keeps me safeThe curtain is my friendIt is my armor from the judgementsThe viciousnessThe cruelty of others But deep down I know
I'm drowning, unable to swim so I sink.
This ain't like no swim at lake, a pond, or river.
Not like in a pool but more like the ocean, swimming around in darkness.
Little ole' me
been hiding and hidng,
I think its time to come out and see?
NO MORE HIDING!
When I was just a little girl
My mom would tell me how
She loved my hair of kink and curl
The way she liked it down.
I am sheltered by darkness,
For it comsumes me piece by piece.
While she shines brightly to others,
Burning them with her desperate smile,
I am left alone,
Being only her shadow for the weak.
My parents have always told me to be good growing up as a child,
a statement I never quite understood,
I am the mask worn to school
Intended to fit, intended to fool
I am the mass you wear to work
A monotonous gaze, convenient quirks.
I am the mask you wear everyday
My body is the twisted trunk of tree
Charred, cracked and broken
The branches that reach up the the sky
Are filled with lines where scissors tore my skin open
My leaves are scratches, freckles, and pimples
If I could list all the things that make me
I'd start with a child no older than three
It is her battling the noose of cancer--not me
My work ethic stems from two people, not three
Behind the curtain
What I keep hidden
From your eyes and mind
Is strictly forbidden
Under the mask
What a clever disguise
Who am I?
Am I more than that shy, sweet, innocent girl?
Do I have more than one face?
Am I truly hiding myself?
I will tell you who I am...
I am me,
I AM quiet, shy, and at times sweet and innocent,
Waiting.
My good friend Silence is here
His company is comforing in my travels
Tunnels of purple and yellow hint of joy
Iridescent light spots in the sole of the Iris
Green eyes and a bleeding spirit
My sister chronicled her life in pictures
Of sports teams, school dances, and friends
Plastered across her walls.
My brother chronicled his in memorabilia
From sports games, movies, and family trips
Little, can one scrutinize the details of the face.
Simply due to the fact that none can see beneath the surface;
the truth hidden behind the curtain of semi-permeable membrane.
Behind this layer the real stage lies,
I am me
Can I be me while trying to fit in this square
In your square
What society wants from me
Cannot be the same as who I am
Or who I want to be
To all wounds of the heart,
Time is the antidote.
Designed like a coat
Soothing the pain as it impart
It is nonpareil
It understands what you want
As time acts more than a confidant
Writing you this poem reflects my lovemakes you doubt, it’s hard to concealAccused to things that’s hard to dealso please erase the doubts above. Trust is like freeing a dove
Only one is flawless. It's not me. But I am okay with my flaws. They do not define me. I live for a greater cause, the one who is truly flawless.
Burning with anger
Flowing with Flaws
I am me
And me I am
Rushing with fiery
Swimming in Heaven
I am me
And me I am
Cutting off pain
Spitting my fire