sophomore year liturgy of the body
once a week for four weeks
the girls and boys were separated
and we learned about healthy relationships
healthy - catholic - relationships
and on the very first day i realized
that i had no healthy relationships
except for maybe you
our friendship was a strange one
i don't even remember how it started
but we were both weird
sometimes we'd talk about the past
but instead of sharing our pain
i insisted that my past was worse
and you insisted that yours was
but we never actually said what happened
only that it wasn't good
but we haven't talked about the past in a while
i guess the past doesn't matter anymore
our friendship was a strange one
for the first few weeks or maybe months
i refused to even say we were friends
and on the very first day i realized
that i loved you very dearly
and for the first time
i called you my friend
because i love you
that was sophomore year
we spent every morning together
and sometimes afternoons
junior year rolled around
and spending every morning with you
was the natural thing to do
but this year was different
you had met a girl
she was pretty and nice and catholic
and she made you very happy
i encouraged you to talk to her
and to ask her out
i wanted you to be happy
because i love you
you didn't ask her to homecoming
you didn't have enough time for the paperwork
the boy i asked out said no
so we hung out instead
at the beginning of the dance we joked
about how everyone would think we were together
we laughed about how that was crazy
because we were just friends
we were best friends
standing in line to take pictures with friends
standing with you and my best friend
i said that you were my two favorite people
my favorite girl and my favorite boy
we took pictures as a group
and pictures of just the two of us
you held my pictures for me
because i didn't have pockets
after pictures we went back to the gym
i insisted we hang out in the back
where there wasn't a crowd
you didn't argue
you didn't question
i said i didn't want to be in a crowd
and you went with me
i danced til my feet hurt
i jumped and i spun
i sat down when i had to
and jumped up when a good song played
i discovered that you could breakdance
i never knew you were such a good dancer
i cheered you on from my place on the floor
i loved spending the evening with you
as the dance was coming to a close
we stayed in the gym
there was a song and we were both tired
you continued to dance all hip hop and breakdance
i just swayed and spun and drifted to and fro
we laughed about our different styles
another song came on
but it was a slow song
the teachers were starting to push everyone out of the gym
but we stayed and danced
for most of the dance
we had been dancing together
but for this song
we danced with each other
my hands were on your shoulders
yours were on my waist
you made a joke
about leaving room for the Holy Spirit
you are the only boy i've ever danced with
besides my father
you are the first and only boy
that i've ever slow danced with
the final song was very apt
don't stop believing
by the end of the first part
we had finally left the gym
while i went to go grab my shoes
i asked you if you wanted
to come on a retreat with my youth group
we got some final pictures together
and we walked out together
it was there that we parted ways
sitting with my best friend
at the restaurant after the dance
and i confessed to her
that i had fallen for you
the next day i started writing a poem
no crush had ever made me want to write
the poem rhymed
i hate rhyming
but you make me feel like rhyming
i keep a picture of you in my phone case
you're my best friend
and i can't stop thinking about you
but you still liked her
that nice catholic girl
i encouraged you to like her
and now i like you
and i try not to be happy
when it looks like you and her might not work out
because it doesn't matter how i feel about you
i want you to be happy
because i love you
and if she makes you happy
i want you to be with her
because i love you
in the middle of homecoming
something happened
i don't know what
but it made me realize
that i'm head over heels for you
and i loved dancing with you
and i don't want to dance with anyone else
i don't care that you're a year younger than me
i don't care that you still have feelings for her
you're my best friend
you showed me what friendship can be like
because of you
i now have several healthy relationships
another dance is coming up
and i'm going to ask you
because i love dancing with you
because i love being around you
because i love laughing and smiling with you
because i love you
