What's YOUR Struggle?

Location

people see me walk, they watch me everyday,

tell me how I should do life, but in a different way,

they don't realize the pain in my heart,

the fights in my mind is enough to barf,

if they knew what I knew,

they would finally have a clue,

every teacher sees me the same,

he's just a clown who will never change,

but they don't see the challanges I face,

I do my best to keep up with my grades,

And now since its senior year, I gotta find a way,

my parents won't help with college, I'll have to pay,

but it's just one more obstacle that I have to deal with,

It's funny how they expect me to still be a kid,

they want to handle all these problems like I'm an adult,

but if I don't follow rules like a kid, I'm at fault,

makes anger rise inside so easily to the point of danger,

and I hate it, in my own body I'm a stranger,

then there are voices everywhere,

inside, outside, so many it's hard to bare,

people don't understand why I am so stoic,

that's because I know what might happen if I blow it,

Dad is mad at me because I'm not better then the rest,

apparently I'm get so drunk and high that I couldn't pass a test,

because that's what the three before me did,

realy I'm just trying to contain my lid,

mad at my mom because she hasn't been there for me,

I got peed on in the middle of the night by a man who was 23,

then she looked at me and said what do you want me to do,

I told myself then "Sam, in this world, its only you",

mad at myself because I'm don't know anymore,

I don't want to do anything, my body and mind are sore,

But I know if I'm to get out of this place,

I need to finish strong and complete this race,

I see everything that goes on around me,

from the couple kissing in the hall to the kids smoking weed,

And the voices they just keep screaming,

you have to do better, give your life a new meaning,

and now I have to juggle my girlfriends issues,

there's been a couple nights where she needed tissues,

but I'm always there for her helping her through it,

because I am that man she deserves and I'm going to prove it,

she wants to know what's going through my mind,

but I'm afraid that she won't accept all that she finds,

I've let her in more than the rest,

but she's only halfway through, there's still more left,

Sometimes I think I'm crazy, my sperm donor IS schizophrenic,

but just the thought of him sometimes makes me sick,

to know that he beat and raped my mom and that's probably how I was conceived,

and that's only part of what's fucked up with her, it's hard to believe,

I may not appreciate the things she does but i still love her,

and knowledge like that makes the voices speak of murder,

how can this world, these humans be so fucked up,

and everything I do feels like its not good enough,

all because of this thing called life,

and that's just my story, what's your strife?

but I guess that's why it's called the struggle. 

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Comments

Vision37

Deep Bro, those who are destined for greatness know what it means to have scars, and its through there hardship they find the courage to reaach for the stars. Stay Strong

Sharkboy_96

Sorry for the late reply. been busy with accomplishing my goals. thanks for the support though man. 

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