Forgive me, Bluejay  

I killed that bird,

because that bird was hurting me 

 

it pecked here and there, Bluejay

but mostly stole my air

as it flew around my head

and kept me awake at night

 

One day I couldn’t take it Bluejay,

As mother pulled away

We took the road

Until we found somewhere to stay,

 

The memory was painful, Bluejay

As the years did pass

So I killed that bird once again

Out of sight out of mind

 

I burned the memory away, Bluejay

Of those searing eyes inside my mind

I left his life to die

As his life had started to become mine

 

But ever since you arrived, Bluejay

That bird house I had locked

And buried deep within the earth

Was rained on,

Leaving the flowers eroded away,

And you pecked at that dirty box,

Breaking the lock That kept the light from finding the maggots,

And seeing the house so full of filth,

 

That’s no home for you, Bluejay

For that is the home of the bird I threw away

But now the lock is open

And I can feel it following me again,

 

So forgive me, dear Bluejay

Im trying hard not to,

But you have now awoken my past,

 

I want every flower, Bluejay

I glance at them all day long,

And I can’t help it,

They are all pretty,

I won’t touch, I tell myself

So I just glance,

But what kills me on the inside

Is when I peer upon those rosy petals and smile

Yet you are standing next to me

 

Ever since you came, Bluejay

That bird has been following me

And whispering to me every step of the way

 

Now I am asking you, Bluejay

To forgive me,

For I need you to help me get rid of that bird

To stop the bird from hurting me

Or I risk hurting you

Because that bird was me In every deed it did  

its life had become mine

As I now peer through its eyes,

And gaze upon the world As just a bunch of flowers

 

But you are not a flower, Bluejay

You are the one sent

To help me throw that bird away