I was always perceived as a happy child

Because I always smiled

I never wanted my anger to show

I preferred to let my happiness glow

I tried looking on the positive side of life

But I constantly saw much strife

 

The truth is I’m not very glad

Deep inside I honestly feel mad

I am always feeling sad

Because I everything I do goes bad

Anger is very tough for me to control

I keep it inside my heart thus creating a dark hole

 

I have been complimented by my red hair

And skin that is very fair

Comments about my form

Demonstrated that I did not look like the norm

People have always said I was unique

But it all depended on who made the critique

 

My appearance is the reason I was bullied as a kid

The hair, freckles and skin always made me hid

I hate the way I appear

My characteristics make me tear

My dream is to look the same

Trying to resemble everyone else is my aim

 

I have always loved my father and mother

They were truly like no other

I loved them with all my heart

It seemed like nothing can take us apart

They have always loved me

Or for the most part, that is how it seemed to be

 

I have lived through a big divorce battle

That still has continued to rattle

I remember crying every night

Whenever they would get into a fight  

Most of my life I have felt neglected by my father

With my mom constantly asking me why I bother

 

Everything everyone thinks of me is not true

Let me explain myself in my point of view

I am not a happy person

Everyday my anger and sadness worsen

I hide my frown

By smiling so I do not break down

I keep my feelings inside

Because I do not have many people in whom I can confide

My light features make me feel abnormal

I just cannot wait for the day that I get to look normal

I act like I am content with the way I am

But honestly I just want to scram

I never told anyone how my appearance makes me feel

Because they always tell me that the bullying is not a big deal

My parent’s fighting have caused me great pain

And terrible memories that will always remain

My family still does not get along

This mother and father war will be lifelong.

I never told my parents that I have not felt much love

Because I am afraid they will continue to put their fights above

This is who I am; this is who I am supposed to be

I hope one day I can break my brick wall and just be me