I couldn’t tell you the last time I left the house without makeup on

fill in, push up

suck in, throw up

too thin, sculpt that

too ugly, too fat

at times like this, the serpent's voice has never felt more alluring

a comfortable hideaway of Maybelline and Revlon

is like a warm blanket in the moments I feel coldest

days of inferiority and self consciousness end with the chimera of who I am washing down the drain

I am left with my tormenting reality

staring defeated at the view of my naked skin, I do not see myself

from a girl to a woman with the flick of a cat eye

innocence gone, anxieties amplified

the constant beckoning of insecurity’s open arms pull me closer

a contorted illusion of beauty that was once a no-man’s-land

is now the place i ease my mind

my face is a canvas

this fluid ounce of tan, my medium

staring accomplished at my work of art, I do not see myself

fill in, push up

suck in, throw up

too thin, sculpt that

too ugly, too fat

the sound of my heart’s aching cry for organic beauty

is soon alleviated by the remembrance that

I am beautiful