I can’t give all of my heart

Because it’s been torn apart,

 And that tender look in my eyes

Hides my real desire to cry.

And no longer does the cold winter air

Makes me feel like life is fair.

For what used to be the sweet smell of flowers

Is now but rotten for hours.

And what used to be the beautiful display of dancing rain

Are now just puddles of pain.

The wind has become a destructive blow,

And the sun is a terrorizing glow.

I used to believe nothing could ruin my mind,

But now I see it’s destroyed by my own kind.

I only find comfort in the dark,

Or sometimes by the soft sound of a lark.

Yet somehow I’m still at a loss

As to how my body and heart are tossed.

I’m nothing but a disgruntled mess,

And it seems I always settle for less.

I only find joy in the night,

And yet that too is still a fright.

The endless nerves of meeting someone new

Because how do I know that they are true.

Combine that with my sublime fears

Which always turn into quite tears,

And maybe then people will understand why

I feel as though everything’s a lie.

And while my friends are there when I’m low

How do I tell if they are actually foe?

Although on the outside I look oh so happy

On the inside I feel truly crappy.

Is it that scary feeling of my life being measured

That makes me think I’m cracking under the pressure?

Will I ever get passed these feelings inside,

Or will they stay with me until I die…?

Oh how I wish I could have reversed this all

And maybe then I wouldn't fall…

I’m lost and floating all alone

In this place I’m supposed to call home…