I’ve never touched a throne,

Sitting, overlooking everything I was

And everything I could have turned into.

When wings grew out of my shoulder blades

I questioned if I would be able to fit through

Doorways anymore.

Then I stopped and asked

If doorways would fit through me.

As I fell on the ground over and over

In the same exact spot,

My body had contoured to it

Like memory foam.

I doubted God  and

It was the greatest sin

I could ever ingest.

It was like a ripe piece of fruit,

The juice running down my neck,

And when they ask me if I would have

done it again the next day

I confidently tell them yes.

I would have taken the sharpest blade

And cut off my wings,

So they could not catch me

Before I jumped.

But you need to understand

How sick I was

And how the world made me

Want to rip out my eyes.

And the stars could not shine bright enough.

And all I could see was a blank future.

I had everything and absolutely nothing

And still when I wanted to die I found some worth deep down.

I took a shovel and dug until my hands bled

Until I was so tired I spoke with my eyes closed

And I felt purpose with my hands

And I cried.

And ever since then I knew,

I am beautiful.