This Smile That Masks The Anger


I am constantly asked, "How are you always so happy and chipper?"

Ironically, I am not.

Whenever I feel angry, I smile

Whenever I feel depressed, I smile

Whenever I feel taken advantage of, I smile

When I didn't get a trophy in my event at a debate and speech tournament, I cheered for those who did,

I masked my disappointment, with a bright, vibrant, grin.

When I get overwhlemed with unceasing college applicaitons, the bitter taste of application fees, and the harsh sting of tuition cost, I unleash the most vivacious laugh, I can muster.

When I realize that person never viewed me as a friend, just a chaffeur driver, I still give her an approving nod whenever I run into her.

The next question is, "Why pretend and not show your emotions?"

I believe in sportsmanship, and show my opponets respect,

and expect it in return whenever I see them next.

I realize that the stress from applying to school and for aid is temporary, it will all work itself out,

and will prove that it was worth it, when decisions come about.

I never exhibit the pain I feel that someone else causes me especially with hurtful words they spat,

and never satisfy their desire to see me react.

Can you understand now why I use my smile as my mask?


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