Loss
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I'll follow you forever
Even as you walk away
Following a different path
Although I wished you stay
I still keep the rose you gave me
and the little silver box
That held a thousand memories
When you were gone
we planted a young tree
in memory
and twenty years later
I wonder how you've grown
Are you a gentle birch
sighing on the breeze
or an apple bearing maiden
I hear you in the silence
I hear your whispered words
The echo in the underpass
In the lonely cry of birds
I remember when you left me
Lost at the seasons turn
I always wanted to believe it to be true,
That in the end, maybe it would end up being me and you.
But maybe I not to accept the reality that it is not,
And just like that, I found myself in the same situation once again,
Torn between cutting you out of my life, or keeping you around as just a friend.
You can't tell me that you didn't think of me the same way,
I had sworn myself a passing stranger...
The day your eyes caught mine.
Shoulder to shoulder in the crowded fray...
No sense of danger…
You just sit there staring…
With your Cheshire cat grin
As if to exude beguiled & bemused
While making entreaty to let you in
Who said I was inside?
Oh! I wish IT wasn’t
Put IT up in a tree
Or on a clothing line
There in sultry Hampton
cigarettes drowned
with two phones
glasses snapped
girl’s gone
everyone’s off to Brooklyn
beat off in bed
and a bottle of wine
Ha!
waiting for you has ruined me
i have nothing left except you and it hollows me.
come back , you win i lose
my only battle is trying to forget you, im losing terribly
Unwanted "love"...
Sent NOT from above.
My soul craves it not...
Once on its lap I did rot.
Now I can see its face...
Before I see disgrace...
For as long as the illusion vies...
A frozen solid block of ice...
Winter wind sure feels nice.
The sun, hidden, behind the clouds...
Within the ice she cries aloud.
Ice pick lying quite nearby...
Cannot reach it; trapped inside.
For me your love was
The clouds in the skies
Which come and pass
Away from our eyes
Your love was the rain
but it was in vain
your love was rainbow
That was glancing at me
Eyes deeper than the greatest forest They stare into my very soul. with the knowledge of the wisest sage. Dragging me back from the deepest hole.
I wish that his shoes
Were still in the walkway
They used to trip me
And I’d get frustrated
I wish the laundry
Last night all of my fears had come true,
Because when I was walking home, I ran into you.
I saw you out of the corner my eye,
Waves
We talked about wanting to go to the ocean to scream at it.
Our voices getting swallowed up by the waves.
Maybe we still will.
For now, though, our tears are waves enough,
Chasm
It is so cruel how the world keeps on turning.
The sun dares to make its way out from the clouds.
The birds mock, the kids play.
The flowers bloom, the wind blows.
How is it not all weeping?
Ever So
We lost him three months ago.
It's impossible that this much time has passed,
but impossible things seem to keep happening
with unrelenting ease.
Impossible things used to seem exciting.
Walls
Watching the sun dance on the walls that encased my childhood
The walls that have heard the laughter and joy
of a little girl who's memories all come back to this place.
With its chipped baseboards
A Plea
Any moment stumbling past that isn't blanketed in a stifling heat
I find myself scurrying to peel back my curtains, and open my windows
Cracking the doors, begging the wind to blow through
when i die i want to come back as a dog.
i want to come into this earth as a minuscule being, crammed in tight quarters, unsure of what to think.
5 months, trading kisses in my car
Your hands tracing hearts around my arms
Our lives, we knew would never be the same
Oh why’d you have to go and change
4 weeks, that’s all it took for me to fall
I think when the earth was young a meteor from somewhere in the cosmos crash landed on the surface, exploding for miles and miles, And ever since then the pieces have been traveling through water and air over land and sea, or through anything that
the day you left
the world still spun
precisely poised in orbit
and time.
no meteor shower or catastrophic event
molested the cosmic drab.
the day you left
we didn't make the headlines.
I think I finally realized what the true defintion of love is,
That it is something that can also be scary and terrifying, and is not just romantic and full of bliss.
That was what finally made me realize that I loved you,
I found my love long ago
The one they always talk about
The one in movies with happy endings
The one in books so endearing
For so long, I kept holding on, trying to convince myself that all of this was for something,
But I wasn't prepared for all of the hurt and pain that it would bring.
I am covered in bruises, cuts and scares from head to toe,
My Secret Place. Well, secret in my eyes. It’s the only place I can go when I need to be alone. Alone with my thoughts, The leaves made the perfect hiding place from the sun. hiding behind the clouds. It was so quiet.
We used to fight like tigers on the meat, I always seemed to take the heat, if you got busted doing something wrong, I jumped right in and sang my song, yes I did it, you’ve got your man, he dished it out and called my hand.
Checklist for a teacher; remember that there are no guarantees. No city is safe in this place that touts the gun-waving will save you.
No, I don't want to be a teacher equipped with a gun
A gun doesn't stop another gun
Grevived through me is all of your loss.
Filling my body with gold is your joy.
Stringed to my soul is your spirit.
You're the locket that savers my love.
The key has never neeeded to exist.
I am so good at remembering
The pro of remembrance if you will
Which doesn’t mean I have a good memory
It means I’m bad at letting go
And sometimes our strengths are our weaknesses
HOMELESSNESS
Homeless, they are not seeing me.
Some stop and stare in silence
They don't have the word to say, but when
A child reaches out, her mother pulls away
"Do not touch that man!" its his choice to stay.
You know, I thought if I just kept writing about my pain
That the pain would get better
That I would get better
That maybe by sharing my hurt
I wouldn’t hurt anymore
But the truth is that
5 months, trading kisses in my car
Your hands tracing hearts around my arms
Our lives, we knew would never be the same
But why’d you have to go and change
Hey
4 weeks, that’s all it took for me to fall
You can’t burn some memories
Fire becomes them
Til they darken like ash
Blowing in the smoke she exhales
But do not breathe them in
Do not step in the ash
Or the flames for that matter
Tonight I will write a happy poem
A poem about how I survived the day
Or maybe about the day I have intended to survive tomorrow
Or the good memories
Happy Birthday, I love you
My first thought when I woke today
Happy Birthday, I remember you
A story I wrote
with the stress lines on my forehead
Happy Birthday and I miss you
Miss your laugh
Did you know there is no word in the English language,
or any other language as far as I know of,
for a memory that you’ve forgotten
A forgotten memory is the only way I can describe
I wrote a poem once about how you need to break
To truly shatter if you ever want to learn to put yourself back together again
Because no mosaic is built without first becoming broken pieces
You’d be surprised to know I still look at your picture saved in the vaults of my phone. The one where we smiled and the room was vibrant, and the lights were red and blue, and the world seemed like a different place.
The Journey Back
is an interesting one
miles of walking on
tired, callused, bloodied feet.
treading back over
that eroded ground.
Dear friend,
I know it has been two years now since you left.
I know I’ve had two years to let go, or move on, or to heal.
But the truth it’s that some scars are uglier than the wounds.
With Such Profound Thoughts
Ive Felt You Before
As You Guided My Hand
When You're Near
Yet Not Around.....
I See The Connection
While Others Just See
Their Time And Their Space
I Seen You Falling
This Night Of Fall
Having Turned Winter
Right Before My Eyes.....
I Felt Your Constraint
Your Hands Around My Neck
I Felt This Tightening
In My Chest, You Try To Hide.....
My dreams are brightfeather lightat nightconditions rightCarefreeMind freeLife's challengesto be wonFeeling warmthfrom noonday sun.I dream of waterfloatingboating
Life.
It’s a weird word really.
Not the sound that it makes but the experiences of it are just…
I hate it.
It’s weird how just when it gives you something great,
If I’m being honest,
I’m not sure I’m strong enough.
We write poems and songs and stories
To convince ourselves to let go
To move on
That something better will come along
Each breakup is empowering
Broken
That’s what they call it
As if it were a bone
Or a toy to be played with
Disposable
As if my heart weren’t a muscle
But I don’t feel broken
I feel whole
Fully and completely lost
I will never understand what makes me a second class human being
What makes my heart so breakable, so fragile in nature
I will never understand why the hammers choose me
Choose to destroy everything I have left
Losing someone you love is the hardest thing that anyone can go through,
It's so strange to think about them being gone when they were always there for you.
Some people will never understand the love that we have for our pets,
I am not going to sit here and pretend that I am okay,
Cause if I am being honest, it really changes and I have to take it day by day.
One day I go to bed smiling and I am still very hopeful for the future and what it can bring,
My heart is a hollow place
Where old dreams lie:
Smoking the opium of forgetfulness
Trying in vain to die.
I willed myself into a trance this summer,
And fell into a deep, enchanted slumber.
I waited for you in the hallway
But I did not hear your voice
I waited for your call in the night
But my phone did not stir
I waited for your love
But it would never be mine
You see the the thing they don’t tell you about burning love
Is that nothing burns forever
Nothing burns without destruction
Or scars
A burning love is hot with passion
Fearsome with flashes of desire
Sunday afternoon in the middle of August. Sun lounging high in the sky.
A cloudy menagerie decorates her home.
I walk down to the river
Hear the boats passing by
A roar of engines and water
Everyone told me that I was crazy, but I so badly wanted to prove them wrong.
I feel like an idiot, for hoping that things would go the way that I wanted them to, and for holding on for so long.
I woke up; you are in my bones
I’m thirsty with sand in my eyes
I feel you wrapped around my bones
Like cellophane under the muscles
Woven tight while I was sleeping
The night before you lured me
So there you go
You finally got your wings
You’re as free as a pigeon in a parking lot
Blue-grey
with just a hint of shimmer
Fluttering aloft for only moments
Before settling back onto the pavement
People that love life most are the ones that have lost the most. They realize what has value in their lives and do not play host to others that trivialize what matters most.
Your touch is tattooed
On every curve
Your smile
Foggy amongst the autumn sun
I dream of your eyes
Sad and wandering
I look up in that wooden ceiling, as
My lungs are crawling through the deadly trenches.
A maid puts the medicine on the dresser.
My body too weak to move,
“I’m coming for you!”
A little girls says,
As laughter and joy
Fills the room.
A child
And a mother
Playing hide and seek
I wish the tracks were longer
Or at least in this short journey, would it have hurt for the tracks to meander
Believe me the scenes were pretty
I loved seeing you sucked into the moments
Shifting shallows, Shifting shadows
in the shallow deep
Salt from my soul seeps through to swim with her
sadness...
I was "peaches and cream" skin and red tufts of hair to him,
Held in his young dad arms.
He was first teacher, first love, first hero, first god;
Until a 16 year old bride, I broke his heart.
Reckless...
Not a single day goes by
where I don’t think of you.
The feelings of heartbreak,
I thoroughly cannot explain
Comes in waves.
You will never stop burning holes through my heart when I am alone and I am weak
Burning holes through my lip when I can't speak of you
Through my palms when I hold the hand of another
Time was like water,
But you were like wine
Sweet ocean, bruised and black
Bleeding the times
I learned through tragedy, a way in which the external world can reach it's greedy hand out and take away stored happiness
I am and have been loveless and lawless and jaded and frankly, indifferent
For your brokenness that clings to me
In my openness so ceaselessly
Relaying all the meanings, forever afraid
Leave a message of a whispered dream, an afterthought
In the drawer we use to exchange hellos and forget-me-nots.
We were inseperable,
You and me.
2 years was the only thing between us.
Through tears and loss, as long as we had eachother, we had the world.
Though the selfishness of hate and greed consumed you,
Oh to love love,Yet be stricken by its sharp pain at every end;I find myself stuck in this seemingly unbreakable cycle.I love to love those who I loveAnd then an end comes
You Know I Really Didn't Want To Write ...
About The ... " Tsunami " ... !!!
But Every News Channel's Gone Tsunami Barmy ... !!!
Somewhat Like George And His Terrorist Army ...
My grandmother's dupatta smells of jasmine
She shares stories about her golden days under the bright sun
Her contagious laughter brings memories of happy times
We lose track of time
Our Kashmiri chai cools down
sometimes the pain comes back
like the feeling of a missing limb
the scars of a heartbreak
that might never fully heal
it's hard to know what to write
how to write. why to write.
We didn't know that night ~God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly ~In death we´d do the same.
It really broke our hearts to lose you,
Is it worse to fall in love?
Or to try your hardest not to love anymore?
Because lately, I’ve been leaning both ways
Trying to find enough will to stay awake
What else can I give you?
When I’ve already given you the deepest parts of me?
I've given you everything
Can't you see?
I have nothing left to give you
When I wish I could hear you,
Through that rough and tired old voice,
And when I wish that you could still tell me stories,
About the Baseball that you threw with your brother,
Part 1 of a 6 part poem written to my mom using different
body parts as a guide to weave each poem together.
This one depicts her eyes & mouth.
A deep dive into the ocean
(INTRODUCTION) (Skip below to read a description of my mom to help understand
the poems.)
The next 6 poems I write are about my mom. My mom passed away when
When you left me i was alone.
I felt betrayed , lonely, and scared.
I didnt know if you were alive or dead or if your heart still played the same keys that mine did.
The sun rises to a world
dressed in silence.
& you'll sit on the edge
of your bed, reliving a night you taught
your tongue to grieve.
Death always visits
with a mouth full of bullets.
i met my depression for coffee
i wanted to know what I had done to earn her apathy
"why?" i asked
but she sat in silence, watching the rain drops slide down the roof
tears pricked my eyes
rosemary for remebrance
fennel for strength
two ounces of gin from the cabinet
a squeeze of lemon from our tree in the backyard
i sink onto the left side of the couch, where you always sat
BEING MY REAL
What matters now is how I feel
and being my real.....
I am drifting on my boat and you're on shore
Waving to me.. shouting.. "give me more"
I sit here, quietly alone,
Still looking for you to come home.
Silly of me to think such a thing, I know,
But my heart, and the idea, I can't let go.
You've been the beat to every heart beat I've had,
it feels so easy to let the world slip away.
old friends pass like water
through shriveled fingertips
on aching, time-shorn hands.
the evergreen forest outside brick walls
The night flows in like fog over the hills.
Each burning sip gives me chills.
Staring out among a sea of people
Each bathing in sin before cleansing at the steeple.
sky of clouds
looms heavy over my head
like the weight of your love
pushing down on my shoulders.
streams of milky sugar
line the cotton-candy sunset
and it's a bittersweet feeling.
The lights in her heart getting darker, you know?
An embodiment of grief from head to toe
The sparkles in eyes vanished & heart sank
The colourful soul is turning to be blank
I know it's silly
...
i use to fall asleep
i would see your face
my eyelids would fill
with bright colors
and my nose would
breathe in your scent
and i would hold you close
Little left child,
Where did your father go?
Did he step on your little fingers
To reach the hands of someone more lovely
Less deserving
Of his plum dark love?
Little lost child,
I accidentally filled her mindwith serenading cicadasthat erupted on El Dia De Los Muertos,a piñata swarm of insects,their nightmarish candy formseating away all the love in the universe,
Expectedly or unexpectedly, you had to go,
Our separation left me in sorrow;
It would be better if humans had no emotions,
Or could now erase it with potions.
When the windeth blows, it's ev'r so cold
But nev'r as such within mine soul
F'r thoust claim'd I'm dark withineth
But I hast not commit'd sineth
Shall clouds rolleth in, I dear proclaim
As a New Yorker, it was a usual day as the rest.
Meeting with clients, and ordering calls was all he had to stress.
Mr. Dittmar did not expect the worst attack to come
Please don't doubt it
I do love you
For me love is not an emotion, it's a choice
Although i can't have you and you can't have me
I never want you to leave
Ya Know ...
Within My Arms Are Lyrical Psalms ...
WITHOUT Jewish or Christian Points of View ... !!!
What They Produce Is NOTHING New ...
But The Style PROFILED STREET FIGHTS Like ... " GUILE " ... !!!
I'll never understand the way you left and why.
Forgiveness will be difficult, over three years went by.
In all that time you never called or hardly even wrote.
Epitaph
You called him a life measured in memories
A beloved father, brother, husband, and friend
But after his passing he’s sure to be forgotten
There are hours of the night when time stands still. Most of these hours lead to the gray light of dawn, the sudden realization that a new day has come to wear still more on my patience.
(Disclaimer: This poem does not insinuate I engage in incest.
Mention of sleeping with my brother refers to times in the past
that I have been woken up by my younger siblings after they'd
I'm grasping. Clenching.
My fists in sorrow.
As I keep loosing this sand through my fingers.
It cuts into my hand,
As I squeeze it even harder.
But as I do, I loose even more and my heart drops.
When the crimson curtain closes and the lights have dimmed. All we take with us are memories. When the day fades to night and there’s a chill on your skin. All you hold close is your memory.
When you told me that you didn’t love me. I was not surprised. I did not stop to question how you couldn’t love someone as empty as myself. I was disappointed, I will admit it, but isn’t this always how it goes?
I wish there was a collection of words I could say to you. A phrase to stop the clock from ticking in the dark. To bring back the lights if just for a moment. Cast away the darkness so that I may see your face, one more time.
I smell the whiskey on your breath
Third day this week
Once again you had too much
Once again you took too much
Why must I love you so much?
My dear, do not tell me I deserve better than your love. That your heart does not shine bright enough to reflect mine. For my heart only shines this brightly because it had to been burned.
Your heart is a muscle, it contracts and relaxes again and again until the day that it doesn’t. Until the day you will no longer need it. But it is still a muscle
With the recent loss of my mom and dad, I can’t help to think how each of my sisters and brother are dealing in their own way with the loss.
Stay with me, always.
I need you're gentle touch.
My time in this life, it's coming to an end.
I know you love me so much.
As I grow weaker, I see your hope.
You think I'll get better,
Those dishes that I cooked,
Those stories that I said,
Baby, you said you were impressed...
I am not beautiful,
I repeat this tune,
I hide away in my cocoon,
Try to disappear,
Loose in the crowd,
The sky was blue,
Away from the shadow of gloomy clouds,
Oh so high, so high, my little kite flew.
Pain is physical
It is counter productive to love, a conclusion in the mental
When Pain refuses to try again, Love breaks the deadlock
When Pain instigates the feud between man and fear, Love encourages boldness
“The Willow”
Christopher Joseph
When rain cascaded, and the earth wore a veil of its tears,
You were there to shield me, oh Willow.
The Traveling Suitcase
The wooden boat encircled with echoes of thunderous silence
Reminiscing the rowdy sailors once on board
My mother didn’t cry anymore; she hadn’t since the first night I saw them in the rocking chair.
“Benjamin,” she told me, “That’s his name.”
“How wonderful,” I thought.
When your world freezes over like the tears from your eyes
Like a call from the doctor or when your mother cries
To feel your heart sink like a stone thrown in anger
To the depths of dark seas, as if tied to an anchor
A loss of life so young,
The words caught on my tounge.
A loss of a best friend,
Made me feel like it was the end.
She was only sixteen,
It still feels like a dream.
Memories of more than six years,
Yes, I'm familiar with
Kubler- Ross
the stages of grief,
but no amount of intellectualizing
can deaden the
pain
and knowing the inevitable
won't act as
morphine-
for us, the survivors
We've Lost Another Giant ... !!!
We've Lost Another Giant ... !!!
The One And Only ...
... Kobe Bryant ... !!!!!!!
His Daughter Too ...
As Well As Seven More ... !!!
Your memory overtakes me
I drown in it
It kills me slowly
And I welcome it
I welcomed all the pain
You ever gave me
One day:
I can't remember
Three days:
My tears fell on your hand.
Two weeks:
In school, they stare.
Six weeks:
A lonely sister on Christmas.
Do you feel alright?Have you had enough?I can't help but think aboutThe way I'm feeling stuck.I really wanna tryTo make you feel alright.Should I have another drink?I've had enough tonight.I know you wantTo feel a certain way.I wanna make you unde
Below this ground lies the infinite ocean graveyard
The seas overtaking boundless promises
Left for the tides to discard
Waves washing away titanium tiles
It’s hard to think of just one thing,
When I consider all that this life will bring
What has inspired me,
What has set me free?
Outside, it was miserable and rainy:
A cold day in November.
I held the photo against the lamp
On a dark day in November.
It was old, blurry and grainy,
But enough to make me remember.
Cold have been my dreams of late,
Petty reflection upon my cruel fate,
Sleepless, brutal, unyielding rest it became,
Wicked Sand Man, my dreams he cannot tame,
She once met someone who gave her feelings like no other
Someone she never felt she bothered
Sadly though as all things golden, it wasn't meant to last
Her love was torn from her much too fast
Everytime I see your smile
I can feel your eyes carving lies in my flesh
Chiseling away at my bones
As if your heart is etching lyrics on my eyes,
hieroglyphics in my temple,
...I wasn’t always like this you know,
there was a time when I saw beauty in life,
electricity in the magnificent mechanics of life,
It's midnight and I can't sleep
Again
I'd like to think you're still here
Still roaming down the hall searching for what you'd lost while you were breathing
I could never get rid of you
The way you smiled
How you laughed,
the short chuckle that would follow after
Your comforting stare
I dreamnt once
That the world was ending
And my head was spinning
Over the thought that you were gone
You were gone
And the world was ending
I give everything I can
(in fear that you'll leave)
my time my home my patience
and don't expect to receive
I can't lose another best friend
(because I lost more)
my love my trust my faith
the taste on my tongue
of bitter words
that could leave you stung
the fire in my heart
of frustrated feelings
that would lead me to fall apart
the thoughts in my head
When we assembleTo rememberThe days of joymoments of sorrowWhat should we talk aboutThe fortieth of timeOf freedomOf relationshipsOf broken heartsOf separated lovers
I stay up at night
why am I always in fright
I try my best to succed.
but it never goes right.
I lost someone dearest
I never stay fearless
I live in a game, taking the blame
My mind is going crazy
i can't control my thoughts maybe im lazy.
some say i'm depressed, but i just think im stressed.
stressed from losing the one i love
stressed from trying to get back to how things used to be
You buy me flowers
You kiss me on my cheek
You take a shot of cough medicine
And leave it on the sink
My dear Ampelos,
To him we say adios.
Lost in the tragic days of yesteryear—
A proud boy with no fear.
He hitched a ride on a wild bull,
Set the tides of faith on the pull.
Death does starnge things to those whom are left behind
To those whose hearts shatter and yet still beat
It's funny
To watch family and close freinds gather and together rewind
“The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”
Albert Camus
Longing is such an apt word.
The physical space between us is now uncomfortably far.
Your presence is the early morning fog on a cool fall morning;
It was upon those rocky shores
On top of the craggy rock
Overlooking the tumultuous shore
Of water rushing onto the sand
And swiping at the blood there
Burning,My eyes are burning,A family recipe of allergies and tearsThey spill down my cheeksThey pool at my feetCryingI can’t stop itI am no longer in control hereThey go where they please
Thoughts of youSeeping throughI see anotherThey look like youI start to cryBut got to hideThe pain insideFrom losing youI beat myself Black and blueOver what I did and said
Cross my heart and hope to dieStabbed in the back a thousand timesInsecurities are mounting highWhat did I do to earn this life?Held prisoner by my brain My mental state is not okay
I knew you when you were a child,
I don’t recall you,
Although I tried,
Were you were sweet,
While I was wild,
The precious pet of the classroom kind,
An image of a smiling child,
I can’t go in.
The smell of medicine that isn’t working,
Desperately masked by overwhelming sanitizer that stings my nose as I inhale.
No sunlight makes its way through the windows.
Is that my heart in your pocket or are you just happy to hurt me?
What’s a masterpiece like you doing with a disaster like me?
Hey, you see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m stable?
Do you know?
Do you know what happens to a fish without water?
Do you know what happens to a fire without air?
Do you know what happens to the trees without sun?
The ones so fearful of losing power so many centuries ago
Saw beautiful creatures times two, such a grand foe
This is where it began, the treachery to split the souls in half
What is said.
What is thought.
What is said but not thought.
What is thought but not said.
What should not be thought.
What should be thought,
What should be remembered.
What is,
When you pass me by there will come a time,
When you turn to see what you left behind,
I will not be there. I did not follow,
I did not stop to watch you go,
I move on my own.
What I say to erase your name.
I am drifting, a lonely piece of driftwood covered in pale moonlight on an open sea. I don’t know where I am going nor where I came from, but I am drifting. I feel hollow, empty like a piece of me is gone and it can’t be replaced.
I knew you never thought .
Presumed that you could feel.
Never assuming the worst of you.
It was a baffling tale to reveal.
The sun dipped into the swelling sea,
Fading into the Horizon,
The beautiful glow,
Tinting the water with golds and pinks,
The Horizon embraced the sun.
Right now,
There is a child born,
Opening its eyes for the first time,
Taking in the light of a world it has not yet explored,
Breathing in the air that encases it’s small and helpless body,
Just one more
I promise that’s it
Just one more
Then I promise I’ll quit.
Those lies you spoke
for so many years
An ocean of needles
and too many beers.
Can you smell the smoke?
like the smell of summer nights we can barely remember,
sitting in circles around a glowing red light.
Do you hear the distant crackle?
The cold fingers of your memories cling to the back of my neck, to the back of my mind the same way the tears grab at my eyes. The scent of you burns my nose, the same way the images of you laying next to me floods my dreams.
I miss you
shy, always smiling and generous
full of love and eagerness to learn
You
dating wasn't allowed, no kids
rules to follow and break
I miss you
no bills or rent
heartbreak
I lay on the grass,
Face pressed on the earth
Above your marble urn
And let your soul
Flow up through my body-
Leaving my skin tingling
As I sit here in this class surrounded by the usual humdrum of teachers and students, I reminisce on the days in my aunt’s backyard. I reminisce on how it felt to simply lay on the lush soft grass with her dog.
I am from
dead leaves
on oak trees
to green grass
covered with trash.
I am from
chimingchas
every Sunday
to hearing
"Hey! Go hit
the hay!"
Caught between my thoughts and what is real
I look up to the starry skyAngels don't use Wings to flutter
they only fly,
As the sands of time fall
And collect in a mound
I stop and reflect
On the wisdom I've found
For every day is a lesson
A subject to learn
And by the end of the day
Priceless knowledge is earned
I did not choose to lose you
To let you go violently into
That good night.
I did not choose for my heart to stop
When yours did
When paramedics covered you up
And stopped trying
Have you ever felt wanted,
Just to realize that you weren’t?
Have you ever felt loved,
Just to be told that you aren’t
Have you ever been happy,
Here we are
You across from me
You’re back is all that I see
And she’s holding the trophy
The mistakes I have made are my own
Life was fine and dandy but
we haven’t stopped to smell the dandy lions.
You’re the sweetest thing I’ve picked out of the garden
In a while. We’ll both be fine in time
The morning after his mother passed
Into some great valley of comfort and stars
My father sat by his computer.
“Listen to this song,” he told me--
Like so many times before--
If you ever lose me
You did not chose me
I am a river
You are the bay
I pour all of me into you
For our connection to stay
If you lose me
You did not chose me
People ask if I’m okay,
“I’m fine.”
I say it but it really means
“I’ve fallen apart.”
People ask me how I’m doing,
“Good.”
sixteen
Lips on lips, never felt more sure,
that I'd give myself up and make me your own.
The sunlight could not compare
to the glistening specks of hazel;
I am empty
Numb
My life is in shambles lying on the floor
I cannot move
Abandoned promises
Shattered dreams
The thought of you haunts me
Even when I sleep
Grey skies overhead.
Blue seas below, waving.
Green trees, hoping for a chance to start anew.
Red fire giving trees a chance.
Grey skies put the fire out, the sea ceases its spread, the trees start anew.
Watching the light slowly fade from a person you love is like watching your favorite candle burn to the end of its wick.
Life is like the Earth
Always changing
Growth, rebirth
Movement, rearranging.
People are like seasons
Some seem to linger, to last
But for whatever reason
Others quickly become past.
he was shot, In the back.
We knew what was comIng, we had for a while,
the man came to our doorStep, but didn't make a sound.
we knew He was here to take, not to give,
the man began to steal, to rob and to threat.
I loved you with all I had,
And you made my life worth living,
I was sure that we would last,
But obviously I was wrong.
I loved you with all I had,
How deep in that cave should i wander
The fork stabs me; i see two paths set before
Harsh light lining my sight
His Blight
Like a newborn sun rising off in the horizon in an aberrant, pink blaze
How deep in that cave should i wander
The fork stabs me; i see two paths set before
Harsh light lining my sight
His Blight
Like a newborn sun rising off in the horizon in an aberrant, pink blaze
Empty
It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise.
Understanding Death
Death is abstract.
It comes in varying forms,
and sneaks up on you.
Suddenly, she appeared.
Inside
My tears fall swift and silent.
It is too quiet…
Deafening silence fills the air,
lays on my bed,
and covers the floor.
One Hundred and Sixteen
These quiet halls are bleak with emptiness.
My footsteps, slow and loud, alert no one.
The door to my room grows taller,
A Cat and a Change
Constant scrutiny and miscommunication.
The silent critic made life unbearable.
Home was ripped away again,
The Untimely Death Certificate
The untimely death certificate says 14 years old.
The untimely death certificate says you should have known.
I fell in love once,
It was a wonderful feeling,
I felt like I was loved,
Like I mattered,
Like someone in the world cared about me.
I was so broken
You’re stuck in my mind,
Your old laugh,
Your smile
Things I can’t leave behind
It’s impossible to say I’m happy
Julia,
We never would have worked,
You knew it long before I did.
Before you left I had a friend,
Now that you’re gone I feel alone.
He loved not once but twice,
And both times it ended badly,
Both times he paid the price
And his story ends sadly.
He was young and untested,
I guess it’s like God in human form; I guess it is God sleeping, and I’m on the moon ready to jump. It could be any moon— discovered; contemporary. I think God sleeps on Enceladus...
I am the bolt of lightning,
Shocking, fast, and gone in an instant.
I create a smoking crater,
But of who left it I leave no hint.
I am the stormy ocean,
I used to be selfish , narrow minded I never knew what it was like to truly leave my own wishes behind n- till my grandma was ill and crows took flight I hated my sister all my life, but I realized
... and I keep pondering
over your 2 seconds
Who are you
and
Why do you bother to dissapoint me again?
after so long?
My short, silky pigtails were brushing
through the wind while you pushed me on the swings,
since my little legs couldn’t swing myself.
How ironic it is,
I remember the sight of you,
I hear the timbres of your voice.
I’ve known you,
For a long while.
How ironic it is,
That life gave you to me,
Before snatching you away.
Embrionic shell
sheltered.
Roots run deeply
shoots spring forth
to the light of
Day, Truth, and Life.
Steadily, steadily,
loving
trusting.
Intermission-------
Embrionic shell
sheltered.
Roots run deeply
shoots spring forth
to the light of
Day, Truth, and Life.
Steadily, steadily,
loving
trusting.
Intermission-------
How could you have known,
when you called his name,
that there was no one left to answer?
Words left unspoken,
discussions never to be had,
no words left to say,
what can I say?
Knock, Knock, Knock
The door opens to reveal
strawberry, chocolate, coffee
butterflies, flowers,
and the sun shining through
her long dress.
Knock, Knock, Knock
Time to play with her,
i.
you were petals i oncesubmerged — a fistful i letgo of under a foggy seawhen i was succumbingto myself
I open the window
So I don’t suffocate
But the air doesn’t reach my lungs
As I try to count my breaths
Monday I came in to see you
Meeting you brought sunshine to my darkest days
I now had this marvelous motivation in this game we call life
You never had to speak words that could melt gold
The shocking electric pulse,
Flowing through my veins.
I’m charged and strong,
Ready to fly,
Through the driving rains.
I drop a single bolt,
Step one
Look up to your brother he's in your corner
And has a back when you've got none, don't let him down
What have you lost?
What have I lost?
A sin we sentence ourselves to
Losing someone we love
Someone we would never lose
My life is one great symphony,
So listen to its melody.
The drumbeat is my heartbreak,
The violins are my sorrow,
The low brass proclaims my rage,
I’m going through my phone
It’s been close to a year since that day
When I lost the one I loved the most
But for some reason their face pops up everywhere
It's easy to forget, you know?
That time can pass when you aren't paying attention
And suddenly, your little sister says she likes that boy,
And your little brother is taller than you are,
“til death do us part"
By: Sophie Burchill
Thirteen years old, yes, thirteen years
And a clean slate so far.
She is the light of my life.
Was, though now I remember all the
softness from her. Purity, which sickened like the
yellow skin spread over her in the end.
Sunshine always lit up the sky and
Bloom. Life begins to zoom.
Growing up too soon.
Been six years in school.
Not my first crush but closest
to first love.
Went through things no kid ever should've.
Years of off and on revealed to be
All I feel is negativity. I love to go to school. Life out of school is too much to handle. I love Him. He is sweet and kind deep down. But, he is broken and lost. I am lost. I feel like the walls of my life are closing in on me.
One day...
One day you wake up;
You open your eyes.
Everything blurs;
Everything turns black and white.
Ash surrounds your senses;
All you feel is numb,
Numb pain,
When I fell in love the first time,
She felt the same pain as me,
I shared with her a song
One that we listened to together
Its lyrics always soothed us
Heartbreaker
You light up the world.
People adore your glittering eyes
The way your hips sway
Side to side when you walk.
Heartbreaker
There’s always been a darkness
A never-ending pain
A pit of infinite loneliness
A hole within my chest.
I’d tried so hard to be rid of it
Dear mom,
I’m tired of your games,
Tired of you telling me that I will never make it.
You never know my true thoughts
And I refuse to share them with you,
Run as fast as your feet can tread
When you get here I may be dead
Use the force that God gave at birth
Please use your endless mirth
I just want my old life back,
I had everything I wanted
A job that I adored,
A hobby that brought immeasurable joy,
And a love that seemed unshakeable.
War boils within;
Battlefield of my heart, scorched skeletons
Of memories rancid.
The tree of delight drips bare.
To You I exposed my heart,
Sublime seeds of offense,
They said she would stay,
that she wouldn't feel a thing,
it would be quiet and still,
our goodbye's wouldn't matter
because she'd never know,
that they were said,
Is it still my face you see at night?
Is it still my voice you’re thinking of?
Have you tried to stop with all your might?
Do you agree, distance doesn’t feel right?
Sometimes you don’t feel so far away.
Tall cliffs and whale bones,
Our secret place that’s all our own.
Hands held, hearts cradled.
Eyes shut, fear of loss and pain.
It all came to head that day.
Back to the beginning,
I see a river levee with bridges on both sides
it’s early the air is wet, my clothes dampened by it.
People gathered and noise all around.
I’m running to you, your motionless.
Days of youth containing cheerful screaming,
Hours of running and spreading laughter
Are jointly held through the room of dreaming
The place that we take care and look after
What have you done to me?
Got wandering the streets at 3 AM.
Knowing you're laying with another man.
Got my will, fight, and strength in the palm of your hand.
I am foolish to fall in love
All alone on the coast
With no time to tell you so
How much you meant
Mean to me
Now youre gone and i'm all alone
How the sun's shining
Never will be the same
Like the day you left me
Drear behind, sunshine ahead
Fleet are the feet of Poe.
Emma drops down the hem of her gown
Her stems curl up beneath her
Her face to the skies, filling her eyes
Warm and wet, they glow.
What did your uncle say? (Or another man-to-man…):
When you become a man,
You’ll understand life more than a boy can,
Don’t live in the past or you’ll get left behind,
Life is what you make it, except make it rewind,
This holiday is hollow,
These cheery ones are lost.
Everyone is happy,
It seems
Everyone
But me.
I always feel alone,
I’ve been in love twice,
One was dark
The other light.
Both had their qualities,
I loved them for different reasons.
The dark one was like me,
How can any one person have such bad luck?
I fell in love once,
But then she left when I needed her most.
I was born with the gift of intelligence,
I was given a gift by someone I truly loved,
A little green turtle,
Something I could put on my key ring.
She had one too,
And it made our love grow stronger,
TAAKA vodka, purple harleys, and cigarette rolling trays.
The smell of pancakes and pretty summer days, the littlest things
Are what triggers the replays
Of the horrific day
My daddy took his life away
I’ve fallen apart,
A million pieces in the floor.
Most of them are missing,
I can’t find them any more.
My pieces have been scattered,
I was in love once,
And a painful ordeal it was.
I tried so hard to be the perfect one,
To be the one that she wanted.
I didn’t realize then,
I just want to be in love,
Like we were so long ago,
She’s left me by myself,
And I can’t escape this hell.
She doesn’t love me any longer,
Darkness is around me,
I am hidden from the light,
The life that I strive to live in.
There was once a Bright Star,
It penetrated the dark.
What does going through a breakup
and being cheated on
and being betrayed feel like?
It feels like I have to wake up every
morning with a smile on my face and
Someone save me from this pain,
It keeps me trapped inside my brain.
Someone save me from this hurt,
I’m not even worth a pot of dirt.
Oh, how I hate this day,
It reminds me of everyone I’ve lost.
It fills my soul with dread,
It breaks down my mind.
It reminds me that I’m alone,
Every time I close my eyes,
A star explodes inside my mind.
I see the ones I’ve lost,
They’ve all left,
At the highest cost.
This exploding star,
My life is a black hole,
Sucking in everything around it.
Even light cannot escape my darkness,
Even those that I love cannot withstand it.
She was always by my side,
And she took away my pain.
She fixed all of my brokenness
That was trapped inside my brain.
She shone brighter than a star,
I am a tortured human soul,
The world would be better, If I go.
If I leave this world behind,
What is the place I’ll find?
I can’t live, with this pain,
I'm scared to write a poem
but I need to write a poem because when I finally
let the twisted words out
I breathe again
Could somebody take me somewhere pleasant?
It's all I have ever asked of someone.
How is someone to be omnipresent?
They cry "all hail the one and only son."
Standing alone I think.
As our time begins to shrink.
I fear our certain demise,
but many would think it’s not wise.
Having this fear,
my body wears
a pattern of scars
as intricate as expensive lace.
my body is branded
by beautiful tattoos
of none other
than that of pain.
my body refuses
to be physically marked
In a room,
a white room;
there was a man,
an odd man.
This odd man was not like men.
He was different-
I see death taking a toll on my shoulders
The darkness overflows and my flesh starts to feel colder
I can feel myself fade away
I notice that everything around me remains the same
I still listen to all the songs you told me about. It's like the only piece of you I have left. They bring back bittersweet sadness. In myself, I've found some of you.
When the rain has dried on windows, do you think of me?
The aftermath of a downpour
Nothing but a resin left, ugly, tainted
Or do you hire the cleaners out? wipe away any memory, start fresh
New windows
this life
it’s jovial, isn’t it ?
sprouted with his anger, his disbelief, his lack of acceptance
but her
when you say my name, you say it like a poem you will never write.babylon boy, when i whisper your name in the pale moonlight,
Street lamps
and the last train speeding through
ringing its arupt and startling bell
"clear the way" it says to an empty road
The night is dead
Wake up, roll out of bed
Hit the floor, legs like lead
Emotions are weighing me down
Dawn my mask to cover my frown
My mask of Immaturity
My mask gives me security
Nervous pangs and tattering thoughts
The impending terror of my dreams lay before me.
Psychology tells physiology to shut its mouth but biology gives in:
Close my eyes and count to three
I spread the tips of my fingers against the smooth wood of my table- elongated so there’s enough room in the center for a bouquet of roses.I never thought I’d be given roses: a traditional statement.
Everytime I see someone since my uncle’s been gone, they tell me how different I look
How I cut my hair short
How my acne cleared up
How my lips aren’t chapped anymore
tiptaptiptap
fingers on the table
rhythmless and bland,
we cut off the cable.
tiptaptiptap
rain on the window
erratic and soothing,
we watched the world go.
tiptaptiptap
My play-doh set. My brown barrette.
My high top shoes. My young views.
My dirty shirts. My elbow hurts.
My parents yelling. My lips never telling.
Mom
You gave me life, nourished my body to grow strong
Over the years, by your side is where I belong
Watching what you do and your moves
When i was bad you told me you disapproved
It felt like a thousand waves crashing into my body.
As I clung to anything I could.
A person.
My bed.
Like they were a lifeboat in the storm of losing you.
Hi daddy.
Remember this morning when you left for work
You promised to come play with me when you got home.
I set up the teacups and food for us with mommy
Oh! And I made the tea that’s actually water all on my own.
i’m looking for something that’s gone once again
i don’t know who you are, can i call you my friend?
there’s a hurt in everything i say and i do
because everything seems to remind me of you
i sit and see it in your eyes,
a mirror of mine,
a want to find
Home
to be free,
a want to leave
home
and to be set free.
i sit and see on your face,
A star in the sky,
A spark in my eye,
A lady so strong,
is not here any long.
An inspiration for all,
Is now forever gone.
You left us without a word,
You went away like a bird.
She sadly walks away
Because you never had a heart
There was no love
Right from the start
She gave you everything
But, you threw it down the drain
When those walls close in
I remember you.You’re foggy but I do. I remember you being bossyand I remember loving it, needing it,Guiding me barefootthrough our woods, always so mossy. I remember stealing Kool-Aid in dry measuring cups-mine a quarter, yours a half and hiding
No one told me that it would be this hard
To not hold you
To not smile
To not have you
To not feel you
To not kiss you
O' my love has gone away,
Perhaps to come back some sunny day.
My heart was broken, sad, and true,
But now I am whole, redeamed, renewed.
Thank you for the kindness you gave,
took a journey starting yesterday
It started on the phone
A car
A hospital
A bed
And ended with “goodbye”
I stand in a place that I've been once before,
A garden of sadness that's watered with tears,
A plot in the earth where I made an exchange:
I buried my hopes and gave birth to my fears
-
TEN toes as he counts them
Curling and uncurling
As he commands them to move
For one of the last times
The doctor showed concern
Look at the way at how you treat your lady
She seems bitter and confused
Darkness sadly surrounds her
As a result of your abuse
She put her trust in you
And you have let her down
Some of the sunshine disappears
When a loved one sadly passes away
You think of all the good times you had
Each and every day
Those precious memories are still there
Even though that your mom is gone
Some nights I wake
to the realization
that I can’t remember
what your voice sounds like.
I can’t remember
the curve of your lips
what a beautiful thing it is to have loved
but to have lost it in time so fleeting
unimaginable pain and joy it brings
where two lover's hearts may still be beating
I keep a turtle in my pocket,
It clinks against a key.
Both are deadly weapons,
But only when used on me.
They took away the darkness,
Sometimes we search for answers
That we can not find
So cryptic and puzzling
And justifiably unkind
Pain and darkness rears its ugly head
This is quite the mystery
Such confusion and frustration
You were always struggling
The one who was always in pain
But you were the only one
Who could make me feel okay
You were always indecisive
I first recognised it as an infant, becoming accustomed to this trait.
Sporadic bursts of love and laughter were sure signs
this was meant to be.
Then monumental loss replaced it with a scourge of darkness
Damp and dreary today dawns, settles 'round my shoulders with a weary sigh. Mo(u)rning mists my glasses as I shuffle through leaves fast becoming grey; contemplate life slipping away silently without fanfare.
It's been almost a year
That's three-hundred-sixty-five days
since the last time I saw you
Since the last time you had life inside you.
I remember the wires, the hoses, the machines
heaven
is a topic of controversy that dwells amongst great populations -
from a young age, I was exposed to such trauma of Death in circumstances that a young princess should not have withstood.
you've left this world, twelve years have gone by now.i've forgotten the sound of words as they left your mouth.i've forgotten how your arms squeezed tightly about me,and i've forgotten what it was like when you were here.
The skies let down their bounty
That falls as sheets to earth
It freezes on the mountains
But we protect our hearth
We warn our weary brothers
That winter is come at last
There are different sorts of fuzzies
The Morgan Fuzzies
The Girl Fuzzies
She’s felt the Morgan Fuzzies
Many times before
Morgan
Candy
Jocelyn
They’re frivolous fuzzies
“Sleepless nights abound
Sleepless night above
Sleepless nights are found
With a lack of love”
“You are the thunder that echoed through the night;
died off in the distance and stayed out of sight.
Every day an endless nightmare;
every night a dying dream.
A sleepless heart,
"I am picking out the glass underneath my feet from stepping on your littered beach. I tossed it back into your sea and poisoned the wildlife, killed off its resources. The water grew toxic so I couldn't swim.
"All this time I thought, all this time I thought things could be fixed, like that time I broke the door open with my fist. Left a hole in the wood, splinters on my skin, was bleeding from the knuckles, felt the pain set in.
Blank lines-
tell the most...
Empty vases-
tell of vanished flowers- and...
Empty rings-
tell of vanished lovers.
Remember meAs the rising sun in early morningThe palette of colors that both sootheAnd allow for a reminiscing moment. Remember me As the laughter and jokesThat will never, ever fail
I saw you today.
You sat there and laughed.
I was near certain
That I was going mad.
I watched you sit there,
With a laugh and a smile.
I nearly started crying.
Haven't seen them in a while.
A walk through the woods
On a cold Winter's Night,
Brought up such terrors
And gave quite a fright.
I stepped through a clearing
Bathed in Moonlight.
A large lump Beyond
Didn't look quite right.
I wish you would
Just tell me you hate me.
Regret my existence,
Abuse and berate me.
Send me away
With hatred and Scorn.
Hurt me so deep,
Down into my core.
Curse my conception,
I always seem to findmyself here. These cement blocks,jutting out of the dirt likemoss-covered stepping stones.They lead the way and beckon me witha brittle finger. But you are nothere.
I remember your smile,
The way it would light up your face.
How your laugh would sound,
And sing throughout my body.
I remember your anger,
And how it would scare me.
The way you'd get sad
I'm drowning in a world
Where you are the air.
I'm starving in a land
Where you are the sustenance.
I'm dying of thirst
Where you are an oasis.
I'm left behind
From where you had to go.
I saw something that reminded me of you today
I haven't thought about you in a while
When are you coming home?
You should see me
I cut my hair
I've gotten taller
And I became someone new
I miss you a lot… I miss you a little
sometimes a lot feels too little.
I wait for you here -but you will never be near;
you left me alone
stranded in tears
Sky stretches forever
Mountains reach into the blue
Colors fade into oneanother
Mountains and sky
Water ripples
Trees blow in the wind
It all started with a purse. A beautiful deep plum crossbody. Embossed with a household name.
Kate Spade.
We all go the distanceJust to do what we must,
And so we do what they want,
So we may earn their trust.
The sunlight echoes across the room
in waves.
We said goodbye; they left down the callow way.
Later, after fizzy breath
and Valentine thoughts,
We live in a world so corrupt, evil, and gross
That countries can't help themselves, let alone the ones that need it most
The wind rustles the trees today the same as it did yesterday;
I trust without willing so, that it will tomorrow.
Her company I hope to keep, and practice the faith and love
I met a girl once,
whose hair absorbed sunlight and face repelled it.
She said she was allergic to daisies and fireworks,
armpit fat and turmeric
I’ll look forward to the day we can laugh together again
And it will be just like it’s always been
You hurt me more than you’ll ever know
One of the hardest things I’ve ever done was to let you go
Curse my luck
Please curse the day
My only sense of sanity was taken away
With such little words
And movements so slight
Though it's hopeless,
still, I struggle,
though it's fruitless,
still, I toil,
The people laugh and say
"He keeps trying, though his soul is to pay"
Dangerous is the game I play
And deadly, as any can say
And yet, my soul is to pay
I've lost the game I played today,
Yet many enemies I did slay,
Mother, please don’t go away.
You know how I love you…
I’m calling you, please answer me!
Please don’t go please not now!
Do you hear me calling?
I can't live without you here
My knees grow weak
The demons coming near
We now don't speak
I loved you so
Dear Ex-Significant Other,I refer to you as "ex-significant other" because I know you wish that I had said that instead of your name back when I ranted about you on social media.
Grief reigns supreme when precious life is gone;
the echoes of past time
lie silent in the grave.
Mute testimony of what once was,
and never will be again.
Girl, why do you tolerate his mess?
You did everything for him
He never appreciated you
The look on your face is really grim
You put your heart into everything
But, he often made you feel sad and blue
you
are hurting my mind
hurt me to think about
hurt me to be without
i thought about you today
and i felt the pain in my chest
where you were not leaning
You said that you loved her
But, your actions sing a different tune
Unless your demeanor changes
She will leave you really soon
How can you call it love?
When all you do is manipulate her mind
If heaven has a mailbox I would write a letter and this is what I would say.
Don't hide your pain
behind your eyes
I can see it in your
innocent lies
You never laugh at my jokes anymore.
I know they're really lame,
but your smiles never reach your eyes anymore.
You need to go away
You have manipulated her heart
Sadly, put her through torture
Right from the start
Cunning and deceptive
You have showed the dark side of your personality
The dagger in my heart,
It twists,
Alas, My love for you has only hurt me.
I should have known better
Than To fall in love with
Nothing less than a prince
Who saw himself as little more than a pig.
If I were to have just one wish,
I'd wish for just one careful kiss
Upon my lips-chapped though they be,
Oh, Sorrow! That you can't love me.
You sadly drown in sorrow
Because, you have been led astray
Following bad company was not a good idea
You have drifted away
Window of opportunity will close
There will be nothing for you to gain
It was the beginning of school, and I was having an extremely boring day,
when I made a change, without thinking what may of happen to me
It's getting dark here
I think of you when the sun stumbles
crying into her best friend shoulder
because her whole world is ending
but I'm not scared
I have seen into the light,
For so long I never had it in me to stand upright,
I was always so pathetic,
I never looked in the mirror as my own worst critic,
It was always up to me,
Two strangers are in line on a perfect day with a clear blue sky,
One of them watches something beautiful looking towards the ground as it goes on by,
Then he feels her turn around as she begins to realize,
Do you remember that Embrace?
Do you remember what was the case?
I remember what you said after staying up all night,
After seeing you again I have to remember you meant,
Glassy eyed vixen.
I stare into thy eyes.
Sparkling like a wildfire;
Such feelings I can't deny.
Long black silky hair
Oh I did not dare touch.
But my thoughts are impure;
I am among the unseen
And you are the light that stands before me.
As I close my eyes to sense it,
But it never reaches me.
I am among the unheard
And you are the voice that echoes so faintly.
The sky is so empty,
So gray and cold,
So barren and wasted.
Clouds fill the air
But nothing more.
Scenes of despair and darkness.
Sometimes a bird
Breaks the moment;
This little bottle of chardonnay;
My escape, my stimulation. And you
My every motivation, unending infatuation.
Each glass with every momentous sip
The taste of grapes dance on the edge of my tongue,
Time waits for no one
And I stand still, frozen,
Unable to keep up.
I chase and chase,
Yet the seconds speed up.
Round and round, the seconds speed up.
Minute by minute, the distance widens.
You forsake me for another
And leave me cold and lonely.
You torture me with your eyes,
They greet me yet they ignore me.
You taunt me with your smile,
It sends comfort but mocks me.
When you smile your smile
It takes me away from this reality.
And when I see those eyes,
I'm suspended in a life-like fantasy.
Speak out a fresh breath of air;
Orchestrate a conversation for me
I didn't mean to lead you astray;
I'm weak, as weak as anyone or anything can humanly be.
But the passion that melts me inside is for you.
I lay besides an emptiness that is only meant to be occupied by you,
Even though you tore my heart in two
I'm still in love with you.
And if one day I can love someone else,
I'll have forgiven you
And I've learned to respect myself.
When I finally learn to let this go
Guns,
Bombs,
Air raids.
I watch in awe as the laughtr fades.
One dead body,
Three more on their way.
I wonder what their parents will say.
You start to wonder,
I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know where I'm at.
I don't know where I'm heading,
And I don't know who I am.
The earth beneath me is spinning;
I am here and now I'm not.
Him. I imagined him.
He held me. How nice it was.
His kiss was power.
His flaws belonged to me.
His losses drained me.
I lost a part of who I was.
I became cold and rigid.
I began to doubt.
A minuscule moment in a gargantuan globe,
Not significant at all,
But the day my baby passed away,
I swear I saw the heavens fall.
Hickory, dickory, dock. Three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one, and down two run, mourning the terrible loss.
Walls back up
Don't hurt me again
Do I let you in
Let you win?
You don't care
And yet I do
Let me stop
Caring for you
Walls up
Guard too
Protecting myself
He was all I ever wanted,
And more than I’ve ever needed,
The loss he has faced,
The way he was thrown away,
Like no one even cared for him,
The kindness he has shown me,
The anguish in his eyes,
He was all I ever wanted,
And more than I’ve ever needed,
The loss he has faced,
The way he was thrown away,
Like no one even cared for him,
The kindness he has shown me,
The anguish in his eyes,
Your mother is now gone
But, you can still hear her voice
She will always be there in spirit
To help you make the right choice
Remember those lessons that she taught you
And the times you all spent together
I must thank you
Years of family memories
Frozen, standstill, captured, timeless.
And we shall know your absense
By the lost years
In our photo albums.
Claiming sadness to be all your own
Your only comfort in life, the sorrow you've known.
Could anyone know the tear as well as you?
Be seduced by the pain, as it cuts your heart in two?
Another teardrop.
Another demand for change.
Denouncing gun laws
While mourning for dead children.
Shock and sorrow have left me.
Nothing but pure madness
As teachers and students run for their lives
Such a dour situation
Filled with corruption and strife
The mark of evil
Has sadly, reared its ugly head
Everything takes me back
Back to that moment
That moment when I mumbled
“I love you”
Every song I hear
Sparks a memory,
Dear Death,
I used to hate you.
Actually, hate is an understatement.
But over time, I have come to be your biggest pupil.
You possess every trait one would say a teacher should have.
Dear Anon,
The anonymous you. The unknown to the world, but known deep to my heart.
You’ve been there. Deep inside of me. You’ve heard the beats and rhythm.
You’ve shaped and molded it to the way you wanted it.
It has been a few years since I’ve last talked to you.
You’ve slipped my mind as I lived and grew.
I write to you this poem of mine.
I hope that it’ll make it to you just fine.
Flower child:
child of a flower child
and you've let your thorns grow wild
and I want to know why
Flower child,
was it something that I said?
Know that I wish I were dead
I often struggle with words, which for me either come out wrong or don’t come out at all. In fear of the first happening, it's usually the second. Here’s the result:
What I Never Got to Say
dear sir from dhaka bangladesh i have
read your story in the internet
of your father’s land that you inherited
when you were only five
and now the river that ran through this
Dear pal,
I remember.
I remember how your hair
Shone like burning embers,
Though your eyes
Were the color of ice.
Five baby birds, alone in a nest.
Friends due to birth and location.
Five baby birds, hormones and hatred manifest,
With any contact leaning towards altercation.
In my time on this earth I have come across many magnificient things.
However nothing has been quite as beautiful as a flower from long ago.
Dear one,
I never thought my life could change
As suddenly as a sharply drawn breath
An unexpected run in with duty after desire
Tight words spoken in the dark
Betraying the turbulent, hidden emotions
To my Dad, my best friend,
I can’t even pretend that all this happened,
I just want to bend and contort until my body says no-
My mind is full of what if's, maybe's, and so’s.
Dear Daisy
My dear Daisy dog
I miss you more than words can describe.
I wish I could have been there with you
for the last breath you took.
I know you know it was out of love
and not a betrayal.
Dear Daisy
My dear Daisy dog
I miss you more than words can describe.
I wish I could have been there with you
for the last breath you took.
I know you know it was out of love
and not a betrayal.
I'm blinded by the world around me,
and people point and stare,
but when I look away,
everything's still there,
everyone laughs and cries
Dear Death,
I know a place where ashes fall like snow
And fear is a shadow,
It follows me around as a lover,
Holding me closer until I can no longer breathe
Dear Rosarian,
Will I find you in the garden
Where you tend the leaves
And mind the breeze
And care for all it's beauty
Rosarian, Rosarian
Have you ever seen beyond the garden
Thy heart shall love with icy flame
Searching, searching
Driving away
Giving hurt and taking pain
Hoping, hoping
For love to play
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Dona Julia
Ama, I think of you everywhere I go.
I feel you in everything I am.
Lies are picked apart
Life is forgotten
Tears fall from empty eyes
And blood drips from unfilled packages
These people know only their lies
With my love
I send my love
Plenty to strew
Plenty to reap
Placid hearts sough
As her last breath weeps
I love my Pikachu
With her beautiful eyes
So blue!
I could stare into them forever
And be happy
I love my Pikachu
From every love I have lost, I have gained.
At the edge of the lost place, I have risen from the pavement of my heartbreak.
For every thing dear to my own, I have found newer, smaller, dearest hearts.
To Her
Dearest, fondest one to my heart
My eyes do beweep themselves on thought of you alone
There are not many things I could say to you
That have not been said a thousand times before
Dear you,
The cigarettes in your eyes seemed to glisten like that of a holy ambience.
They were translucent angelic fumes laced with desire's poison.
To my love--
There’s a shade of pink
in the setting sky
that reminds me of you.
The same shade of pink
Dear Julia,
My mind
It is a broken record
Of that one moment
The moment I saw you
And realized
I was in love with my best friend
Dear Death,
with your doomsday decor,
your dreary darkly dust,
of hope and memoire
Your claws in every soul,
your seductive gaze at the door,
between life and hope,
Dear Grammy,
It is often hard to believe
that you are no longer here.
I hate that you had to leave
and that I can no longer be near,
you.
I miss... you.
Wake up at night
all I can see is your face
ten years and still not right
I wake up and think about
if someday in the void of bright white light
Dear Uncle Dave,
It's been awhile,
I don’t know how I’ve been so brave,
It feels like your absence has become so vile.
The branches are empty as the birds have flown.
The tree still hopes for new nests to be sewn.
The night has passed and it's time for the dawn.
Yesterday is there but the shadows are gone.
Letters to the Streets Of Gold
Once, I wrote a letter.
Plastered on the marble-slab-smooth surface
Of a helium infused spaceship,
The letter soared on the wings of a red balloon.
As you embark on this journey of life
It is imperative that you know
I am with you
Although we're miles apart
In distance and in heart
Somehow, I will remain with you
Dear Liana*,
How do you do?
It’s been years
Since I’ve talked to you
I used to feel
Like I was to blame
Because inside,
We both were the same
But somehow you lost
Dear divinity.
I have many questions for you
That I'm not sure you'll ever answer
Because over the last few years of my life
My fealty to you
Has grown less and less steadfast.
to my best friend,
call it whatever you want
whatever this was
it was us
two stubborn teens stuck
in this cycle
going back and forth
These words intertwine my fingers
‘Til I wrote them down.
These thoughts will never be shared
face to face
While my feet still walk this court.
Memories of the good pollute my mind
Dear "Him",
I can finally look at you and not feel my heart stop, though it still skips a beat but only for a second.
I can finally stop wearing the necklace you bought me our first year, though I'll never lose it.
Of a melancholy tone
She is through with you
Look at what you have done
And the madness you've put her through
Just consider her gone
You manipulated her heart
Always the one to torture
As the leaves decay and the wren takes flight,
I thank my God for you, this autumn night.
For the stories, of many, you may never reveal;
That life threw your way, giving you your zeal.
As the leaves decay and the wren takes flight,
I thank my God for you, this autumn night.
For the stories, of many, you may never reveal;
That life threw your way, giving you your zeal.
Sweet, sweet girl, don’t lose that heart
Even though sometimes, things will fall apart.
Value your daddy and all the sacrifices he will make
You don’t yet understand all he’ll end up doing for your sake.
I see you in my sleep,
there, you’re still alive,
Refusing to accept you’re gone,
is the only way I survive,
I reveal all my stories,
As I wait for you, I hear the rain.I wonder if I'll ever see you again.You left months ago.
A final exhale staggered through pained lungs, As the heart gave in to its demise, Dark orbs glazed over, And screams haunted the darkness, While cries of agony filled the night, A dreadful symphony, A nightmarish harmony, A twisted chord, The vo
im sorry Yall probably wont ever see this but this needs said
im sorryI know at times it appears otherwise but i love you all truly i always have
Dear Sun,
In the twilight of my days, nostalgia rolls over me in waves
Admiring the past through rose-tinted lenses
Overlooking that the past disappointed when I lived it
Girl, just turn the page
He never was into you
All he did was criticize
And broke your poor heart in two
It was nothing but a facade
A masquerade at that
Do not drown in sorrow
Dear santa clause,
this christmas make me happy
not bull shit reason for the season happy
real happy
belly laughing happy
present, never wanting this moment to end happy
I find it
Fascinating
The tiny
Futures we
Envision
With one
Another
Despite
Knowing in
I needn’t be
The chains that
Bind you so
Alas I fear I’ve
Unknowingly
Become your
Keeper
I've witnessed your suffering
Your deep pain unparalleled
Open yourself Love's flower
only to wither and die
I've heard your secrets bemoaned
Intimate and euphoric
Here envelopes you a cave
You tested my patience,
my unofficial commitment,
you tested my ability to actually love someone,
or feel at all.
Dear Justin,
Only Fifteen
Still Learning How to Live
You taught me how to stay strong.
You gave me laughter and smiles.
During a time I only had sadness and grief.
You had me and I had you.
Dear All,
I am everything and I am nothing.
A creeping shadow in the black, abyss-like corners of life.
To gaze upon my cloaked, physical form,
That of which was comprised from a stereotype and guesswork,
I want the version of you
Made up in my head
That comes to me in dreams
But my heart knows
That she’s not the same you
Who left me shaking
I’ve been staring up at the moon
wondering why it has gone so soon.
Yet to know, that life is moving on
even though it is long and gone.
If you had asked me what my bed felt like
in the months before he touched it
I would have said
clean
comfortable
warm
Dear Loss,
I am watching you walk away
(for the God-knows-how-many-th-time),
but this time it is different.
Dear Ryan,
Why am I writing to someone dead?
The farthest it'll go is the Stone;
The last remnants I have of you - except your Jacket, of course;
I sleep with it, but it no longer smells of you -
She felt the pressure
Of a world being taken from her
Everything she knew
Was disappearing
Dear Love,
For someone so nurturing to others
You sure are disloyal to me
Why is it
That you come so
Faithfully.
I can feel it
The wind rushing through my hair
The gentle tug of my face as that breeze goes quickly past me
I love this feeling
This freedom
Confusion and frustration are present
We may be lost in the shuffle
Just get it together immediately
And move on the double
Nothing but pandemonium
Not a soul knows what is taking place
Early dawn in the bed when you cried out for your mother
And you choked on your tears as they rolled you down the stairs
They said by god’s grace but it was really just a stretcher and sirens
Born into laborRoots buried deepAn outlined life etched into stoneHis arms are strong enough
A wifeA homeA child’s plea for a better lifeHis will is solid enough
I heard a song today and I immediately thought of you. I closed my eyes and I swear I was there again. I'd heard this song for the first time that day. What a beautiful song.
I can feel their love, feel
how much they care. Yet,
is it enough to keep me from the thoughts
that lurk in the back of my mind, swiming in the
pool of insecurites, splashing its poisonous water
I can feel the memories of you deep inside my heart
I feel the ghosts of you around the house
I see the physical reminders of you
I see your car and want to scream knowing it’s a lie
Girl, his heart was never there
But you decided to stay
You were blindsided by love
He has sadly, led you astray
You have suffered a great deal
What a tough lesson to learn
Next time just open your eyes
I think you took something from me
I don't want it back:
The fire in my heart,
The music in my eyes,
The sea inside my fingertips
dear Ivan,
you promised me the world
and left me with nothing
when I would have been happy with just a city
or something
you couldn't go big
He once spoke of her as if she's
a rain in the middle of summer,
a blooming flowig amidst the fall,
a ray of sunlight during winter,
until she became a dandelion of a windy spring.
When you bury a poet
There's so much poetry lost
The wind and the rain weep
And the sun shines to dry their tears
But dew drops are left behind
Like an unfinished sonnet
Where the words trail off
She has decided to walk away
Because, you did not treat her right
Nothing but a chaotic scene
Situations sadly, ended in a fuss or fight
Face the reality of the matter
She often drowned in tears
As the stars want attention from the moon,
I want the attention from you.
I want you to love me like you said you did,
More than there were stars in all the galaxies.
You offered me a mirror to look at myself
And the tears will be fire
on your cheek,
Your heart stricken with venom
from the serpent of Anger.
Dear Edward Said,
What have you done?
What have you done to me
You have torn open my old wounds
Those festering razor slashes
Dozens,
Accumulated over years,
Every time I realized
Dear Grandfather I Never Met,
I look up at the photo of you and my mother
that dangles on an aging white painted wall
roughly six feet from a worn sandy brown carpet
in the hallway of my home.
I begin to write this day,
Thought of writing one piece
To keep all of it to myself
But the dilemma has just begun
What should be the title?
Something specific or rather someone specific
I don't know
You are just standing there in the dark
The look on your face seems grim
The lady of your life has taken lots of abuse
Your outlook looks mighty slim
She feels battered and betrayed
If you appeared daily in the majority of my life
why does it feel as if I’ve lived ten without you?
Drowning in the tears of each of the last three years
How absurd it seems to be writing you a letter
Girl, why do you stay with him?
And make an excuse
Haven't you had enough of his mess?
Along with all of the abuse
Time and time again
You have sadly, sat there and drowned in tears
Cross my palm with silver and I'll tell you who you are.
I'll look beyond the day to day, and study just the scars.
I'll open up your eyes and reveal your inner self.
Alone, in a destroyed forest
It stood in the middle
Elegantly composed
Surrounded by burnt trees and flayed shrubs
Because I love you
I tend to lose my self around you
I want to be everything at once
Your super man… Your lover…Your best friend… Your king…
I put on the cape to be a superhero
But… Because I love you
The first time I saw you, and our gazes met
Butterflies in my stomach, heart pounding in my chest
Exchanged hello’s from our lips, smiles on our faces
I thought then, we might be going places
because i love You,
i don’t mind being ignored by You.
i don’t mind being in this one-sided relationship
which i know will destroy me.
but because i love You,
When I saw you I didn't know who you could beWhen I met you I didn't know who you would beWhen I spoke to youI didn't know who you wereWhen you heard meI didn't know you were listening When you made me laughI didn't know I was gaining my best frie
Because I love you
I whisper prayers
To the smoke as it rises
To the Heavens,
To you.
Because I love you
I place this tobacco
Upon the wet earth
And ask that it give
Some sign
Have you forgotten my worth and escaped from my elegance?
Its seeming my china has lost all our relevance.
Do I not shine like the bulbs illuminating your stove?
I’m near, yet lonesome; I’m a deeply secluded cove.
You often find yourself in a trance
Because, you did not treat her right
She really is tired of your mess
Night after night
She has drowned in sorrow
Tears have fallen from her face
inhale
exhale
it's twilight
and you've lit my flammable heart, created an aching kindle in my soul.
i feel your tabbaco lips on this early somber night, my hands are hesitant to reminisce the warmth of you.
They are saying It’s Christmas The bells are all a’ringing, But somewhere, deep inside Someone’s not singing The beds may be made, full of joy and of care But a little girl’s still crying Since her idol’s not there We’ve all lost a lot This year,
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for the lies, the things I've done, and constantly reminding you how little I care.
I'm splitting apart
Every version that I've been
Wants to weigh in
Romance takes her chance
There's a gem of a truth
I can believe in
It was the words of the broken
that spoke through me, fast &
rapid - a tidal wave rushing through
my shredded memories of her weathered face
lying on that broken bed.
All alone.
Let me paint you a pictureI’m sitting on the edge of a cliffmy feet are hanging offand my hands are placed on the edgeone on each side.There is a nothing holding me backfrom shoving myself off this cliff
Girl, what happened to us?
Conversation has sadly ran dry
This has become a masquerade
Time continues to pass us by
If we do not communicate
Darkness will appear
Of a melancholy nature
Because I Love You
I protected you from bullies since we were little.
"Crybaby" "Loser" "Whiny" "Weak"
They called you all this and more, but I stopped it
Because I Love You.
Classes separated and we drift,
Tears fall from her face
That is ever so clear
You did not treat her right
You were insincere
You messed with her heart
And played with her mind
Nothing but an insolent demeanor
So degrading and unkind
I loved you so long ago
In the world of the breathing
But now I lay here thinking
Did it show?
Did you know?
It's been so long since you passed on
And longer since we spoke
You were my super hero
You held me up when I was weak
You protected me from the darkness
You wiped away my tears
She didn't want it to stop
the way he made her
smile but I just thought it myself.
She's just a child,
he's not him any more and she's still growing,
he tried to tell her
I can feel you slipping through my fingers
What we once had was so solid I could grip it.
At times, it was all I could hold on to.
Now - you are falling, falling, falling...
Dripping away.
The girl in the mirror looks at me with sunscreen still on her nose,
A smile plastered across her face as she realizes her mistake,
I turn away from the mirror and try to rub the sunscreen in,
I asked my mama,
Why must we go?
She held my small hand and gave it a meek squeeze.
"For however long the nights are still cold, and our empty stomachs continue falling asleep, we won't exist anymore.
I'm so proud of you,my little soldierwith scars that each hold a story.Tears that have meaning beyond comprehensionmemories that've stained youronce clear mind.
Your smile, the painkillers in my IV, paradise flowing through my veins ,too sedated to stand. My lovely nurse I give you my all and everything I will be, before you put me under, your beautiful face has to be the last thing I see.
I WAS
A walking,
breathing,
living shadow
Never standing out in a crowd
Always behind her...second place
My eyes rest for a second
And for that moment it’s there again
That grey stitched texture of the back seats
David F. Battey,
He was a lot of things in 85 years
He was a father, a grandfather, a husband, a friend.
He was a learner, a doer, a thinker.
I remember the anxiety during the drive there
The way the sweat raced from my forehead to my cheek
I remember how that awful place looked like a villain’s secret lair
You have to continue on
Even though you have lost a loved one
Remember the good times you had with your mother
She taught you how to be strong
She is still there to guide you
It’s been a few days,
Since I’ve looked in your eyes
But I know the joy is gone,
And you feel empty inside.
I peek over my shoulder,
Catch you turning away.
You think I didn’t notice,
They tell me not to give up.
But I didnt understand what they meant.
Not to give up on life? Not to give up on myself?
Ah!
Wait.
But I had already done that.
I won't be happy when there's a frown on her face
I won't fully rest when she's not by my side
I won't relax if I'm not sure that she's safe
I love those quirks she calls flaws
Sometimes following your heart means losing your mind.
Sometimes, your mind is more important than your heart.
Sometimes, you don't want to lose either.
If you only knew how special you were to me,
you wouldn't treat me like you do.
But you treat me like trash because you don't know
how much I really love you.
And so there I was reaching out to you,
I was calling your name....and you didn't answer.
Tears were streaming down my face,
one after the other causing my vision to be blurred and so I couldn't see.
funny how consistent you seem to be
in my mind as the sun starts to leave
behind a trail of the classic gold and pink
that you made symbolic of my loving
fleeting youth
so tell me the truth
The pain of loss, the pain of love
It echos high up above
A star that shines throughout the night
It goes on, small but bright
The question "why" plays in your head
As you look straight ahead
Water ripplesas the raindropsdrop down like bullets pelting us with no mercy.The rumble of the thunderin the distance,shakes like an earthquake.The crackling of the lightninghits home and
The sound of growling crawls its way from
The dark of the forest, accompanied by
Faint, weak cries of hunger. A mother sets forth.
“There is no more time. With nearly
I wish I could write,
About something interesting.
I wish my mind could write out,
All it's witnessing.
I wish and wish a lot of shit.
Dish it out, one by one.
Done with this world, done with feeling.
You always had a smile
full of knowledge and life
Different from others at school
yet, they treated you like a fool
In the last days of summer
the school days were a bummer
Those we love don't go away
They walk beside us each and everyday.
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
So loved, so missed, so very dear.
Your life was a blessing Your memory a treasure,
that night,
a long time ago,
when the rain poured,
and we couldnt let go...
is overshadowed today as we lie bored.
only feeling each others touch,
in our hearts.
My mind is a constant war,Brewed from the dross of the emptinessAnd confusion drawn from decipheringThe concepts of reality and falsification.
Goodbye my Angels oh where did you go? Goodbye my Angels so little we know. Goodbye my Angels I sit and I stare. Goodbye my Angels Daddy's still here. Goodbye my Angels your departure so soon. Goodbye my Angels I wish somebody knew....
Fairy Tales
Are written about princesses
With magic and love.
But people forget about
those who don’t get happy endings.
Once upon a time
there was a young dreamer
who worked the long days
in crippling fever
and when night fell
her weepy eyes close
exhaustion fade black
aspiration to grow
Girl, when we do not communicate with each other properly
We tend to push love away
Joy turns into darkness
Things have got to change
We need to open up to one another
There must be a form of telepathy
She will always be there
She has the voice to encourage and inspire
Your mother may have passed on
But, she is still there to motivate and push you to reach higher
She often showed tough love
how dare you!
leave her childless;
how dare, this world...
this icy world,
with sin and shame.
allow two boys to take the blame.
who sadly lost their mother,
to the fists of a drunken father!
Is God just an illusionIs religion just an institution?People say the deadare looking down on usI wish it were truebut don't the deadhave better things to do?Are they still a part of this world?
Moments are melancholy
Because lives have been lost
People are in a state of bewilderment
Dithered, confused, and distraught
Nothing but a chaotic scene
Filled with lots of bitterness
Standing on the Ocean shore allowed water to brush his feet
Bubbling froth wrapped around while sand underneath brought peace
Never in a million years have chirping birds sounded so graceful
It’s amazing how you have the ability to cut me down and bring me to my highest of highs,
In a single sentence, you have this uncanny ability to remind me how small I am.
Gone in your sleep…
The mother I couldn’t keep
The drugs stole you away
Part of me died with you that day
Took to heaven way too soon
She has sadly passed on
Never forget what she taught you
Your mother was always there
She wanted to see you shine your way through
There for moral support
And teaching you never to settle for less
No matter how hard i try to conceal this shame.I can’t silence the echountil I know the sourcefrom which it came.It emanates from close by.Yet this source of the soundconveys a meaning I don’t recognize.What does it mean?“The only value you find i
The music will play and they will call me up front
I'll exit my seat and wobble and shake my way
The pictures will flash on the screen
And I'll search the families for mine
I'll hear them before I see them
It started in football, the first time you were noticed.
“Number 64 is pretty good!” people said in the sidelines.
I would smile because I knew that.
The simply complexiteyof eating strawberries onHis kitchen counter,on the one night I had the chanceto lie in His bed,In the pure bliss ofsexual tension and spiritual connection.
But then the silence descended and there were no words to fill the emptiness between the spaces that had formed,No matter meaningful to engulf the finality of it,No multitude, to forgive the thinness of it,
Your mother may have passed on
But, she is still there
You can here her voice
Telling you to be aware
She loved you unconditionally
Always there to guide and protect
She may have been tough on you
Have the strength
To continue on
Think large, take charge
And be heartstrong
Your mother wanted the best for you
For she was always sincere
She may be gone now
But, memories of her are still there
The Pain of Death
There comes a time in everyone’s life
When their hearts are filled with pain and strife
Where they wish time would go back
Something deep in my stomach wants to throw up raw blades but my thighs are already covered in blood.
So people can see I’m alive, I plant a peach tree underneath bullets in my skin.
She didn’t deserve my touch.
You sadly left her alone
With no one to talk to
She often blamed herself
She did not know what else to do
In a state of bewilderment
Withered and confused
Tears fall from her face
We wove a tapestry together and I thought it was beautiful
We were in the center and we were holding hands and all was good.
It wasn’t until after you left that I realised that
my hair is short now
i wonder if you’d like it
i draw much more now
i wonder if you’d like it
i write poems now
i wonder if you’d like it
It is crystal clear
She really does not need you anymore
You have tortured her heart
And that is for sure
What more is there for her to say
It truly is over
Nothing but darkness and silence
Grief whether it be the loss of a loved one, loss of an opportunity, or loss of ones old self
Is a nasty virus that effects can be worse then the spread of HIV or Zika
I've seen grief in the form of quiet tears in the dark of night.
I've seen grief in the form of checkered pillows to muffle the screams.
I've seen grief in the form of cigarette smoke puffing in from the garage.
You tell me holding hands isn't your thing.
My stomach starts to rise through my arteries up my lungs until our hands drop.
Anna is the smell of oatmeal with pears and strawberries
Illegal in the eyes of the judiciaries
More hot and heavy than every star in Aries
Anna and I held hands in eighth grade
"Your hands are sweaty."
Have you ever lost something
You loved so much?
It’s not so much that you couldn’t find it
But it was just gone.
A simple touch,
stale
and darkly
remembered,
deep and dead
among empty
feelings.
In time,
would it light
a beginning?
You often find yourself in a trance
Begging for another chance
She just wants you to go away
There is nothing more for her to say
You played with her heart
Right from the start
Nothing but torture and pain
In the winter, as everything dies,
A child is born.
In the winter, as everything ceases,
A child grows.
I've never seen a dead body before,
Something I hoped to never see
But there he laid, alive no more.
Realizing how hard this would be,
I scooted closer to my mom
Tears flowing down my face
She lies,
And she does it so easily,
She hides,
And she does it so sneakily,
She rips apart hearts,
I am going to be swallowed whole,
And there is no fixing it, I know,
I am going to be chewed, eaten alive,
And the scariest part, is that I will survive,
Welcome home, my darling, my songbird, my muse,
My princess, my light, my life, the woman I was destined to choose.
I cleaned, I swept, I dusted and replaced the old with the new,
“You’re a strong independent woman”
Man I wish that were true
I can barely think without it being of you
We never hugged, we never kissed
But oddly enough those are the things I miss
It seems like just a day,
and I'm still wishing the pain away.
Still comprehending what I've lost,
still struggling with the cost.
An angel has been gained,
I still fight through the pain.
The day she died the snow melted (line break) A congregation of remainders (line break) sat sipping silence (line break) coloring in coloring books (line break) lines blurred through glassy eyes (line break) into
Maybe
Just maybe
It’s better this way.
She doesn’t have to deal
With not being able to walk
With workers never coming on time
2016 was a bad year they say.
I disagree, in an odd sort of way
Things were bad, and people died
But 2016 was the year I learned not to hide
Stay Gold
You never know what the future holds, with our stories yet untold, our beautiful mind can't be sold, our words will be forever spoken forget the background noise, focus you are not broken.
Show them you are strong,
Get off of those streets
They are filled with confusion
Just leave those dark clouds behind
Nothing but pure frustration
When you live in a state of poverty
Gloomy moments will appear
Those walls will close
As opportunity passes you by
Darkness is all you will see
There sadly is no brightness in the sky
You have wasted your life
Everything has come apart
Not a great situation
I never really understood who I was
Now more than even I still wonder who I am
Yet I think before I had an idea or I thought I did
Just in one short year I lost that part of me
Rita June,
staring silent at Indiana snow,
robed up in a worn, old, pink throw
lights her cigarette by the kitchen window.
She squints and she licks her thin, blotted lips,
Not long ago we were friends,
But now I need to send you to the ground.
The bitter anguish that swallows my soul,
From the vibrations of my screams
to caper-colored bruises
you denied me to be all women, a
Woman in passion
Woman in tears
Woman with smiles
Woman and proud.
Tight, close, that's what we were.
In our youth, we were always so sure.
We laughed and we cried, but we always stayed together.
We promised we would be forever.
The impossible has happened and now I am impossibly numb.
The bitter sting of an empty core, I wanted more. More warmth more sun, more love, hope.
And I want more still.
I want to love you
I really do
But I am scared
Please understand why I hesitate
It is not because of you
It is because of me
Something like this is not easy
I stay when they go
Life
What a beautiful thing
That I got to meet you
Life
What a pitiful thing
That I got to loose you
Life, I hate you
<Breathe>
Life, I love you
The stilled voice; the raspy breath
A gentle beep and the smell of death
The eyes are open and yet they see
Far more than me
A small shudder as the devil tries
Just one last trick, one last disguise
I was the type,
that held on,
expecting the worst,
unable to release myself,
from what I presumed was safe.
I would hid in the shadows,
waiting to be cleansed by the rain,
but,
Looking outside my window
Through sorrowful eyes
The sky tells me its’s time
Gathering my strength
I walk into the cold
The sun decides to hide
Behind thick ashen clouds
All alone with my sorrowful thoughts
Constantly running through my head
Making each moment unbearable
The silence only makes them worse
Trying to think of other thoughts
But they are no match for the sorrow
Sitting in the dark
Listening to them yell
I watch from the stairs
This is my hell
Am I the reason?
That they always fight
What did I do?
That causes this every night
The countdown states 699 days.It has been 699 days since he died,since I recieved a phone call.
The Year of Me, the Boy, and God
January
It’s your birthday.
I wish you a year of bubbly euphoria
and I can feel your grin against my lips.
We’re home alone.
One year ago, how the time goes.
I began my year free
I say free, the world felt new. For the first time I was ready to pursue only me.
Love the one you’re with
For you don’t know if today
Will be the closing
Of what you once secured
The belief that love stays true
If only you were here,
You would have been able to kiss me goodbye
Wish me luck and try your best not to cry
As I drove off to learn and live alone
Instead, I had to tell your tombstone
If only you were here,
Yellow and grey-
A sickly combination
For the skin of a prior beauty queen.
A machine to help you breathe,
And a face I hardly recognize.
I have gained nothing but pain
You destroyed every part of me,
Now I am scared to feel
All because of you.
I was thinking about the day we met
365 days that changed my life forever
It was challenging, heart-breaking, and tough
I wish I could reverse time, no doubt, whatsoever
Life had never been so rough
So many beautiful lives were lost
Since birth, I've had her love.
Although I'm one of many, I've had her love.
She carries the heart of an Angel with a bit of spice.
She carries the foundation of the family.
Her prescence gives me joy and security.
You know what's funny?
The way you seem to think that all is right in the world.
That everything is working out great for you.
But you cannot seem to fathom the destruction,
put onto others, brought on by you.
I spent every weekend with you in your little rancher with the bamboo hill.
You can’t play footsies with
combat boots
Thick like your thighs
Heavy like your body
Red is for the blood of our brothers and sisters spilt
Orange is for the heightened awareness of global warming
Yellow is for the joy felt when our rights were awarded to us
Green is for growth of knowledge society
All that is left are memories
When a loved one sadly passes on
One never really gets over the loss
But, you must be strong
Never forget what your mother taught you
She always wanted you to do your best
Heartbreak is the heartbeat moments
Smiles fading into frowns
When happy turns to sad
In remembrance of a memory
The longing to return
my consciousness sputters like a dying engine
the pulsations of my brain slowing, shaking
(muscles too slug-like to function)
beat, rest, beat, rest
Our principal announced it on a Tuesday,
His somber tone echoing through the hallways.
The boy I loved was never coming back again,
Something awful had happened to him.
November 26th, 2016
I sit in my room
Crying
Hoping
Surviving
Welcome to seventeen year old me
Currently crying that you probably did not get into your top choice for college
He ran freely around his backyard fighting the dragons and monsters with his imagination.
Knowing if he uses the sword that Daddy made for him it will protect him from anyone and anything.
I remember when you would dry my tears with your rough hand
I remember when you would hug the breath out of me
It seems in the blink of an eye you disappeared, so now where do I stand
Echoes bouncing off the walls from your tongueWhispers dance across your teeth, you are youngThe muscles flex in your face, next to your lips, a smileA feeling grows deep within me, my heart beats wild
You hang around the living room
And lay around the bedroom.
And you run through small, tiny, microscopic parts of my body,
8 years can fly by like a passing train,
They can be full of happiness and sun,
Or they can be full of depression and rain
Sometimes your thoughts can be overrun,
She is no longer there
But, you can still hear her voice
To guide and protect you
And to help you make the right choice
Never forget what she taught you
She was always there
Mother was forever sincere
January
I am so excited for
The snow to fall again
The anticipation of
New Years Resolutions
Somehow I always fail
Spring time
April means
Leaves are growing
Flowers are blooming
I can't grasp the concept of death; how someone can be here one moment and gone the next.I didn't think a fragile needle had the power to take the lifeof a man who fathered my cousin and had a wife.
When words are left unspoken
Hearts are often broken
You never made yourself clear
Nor, were you sincere
Nothing but a clouded mess
Along with strife and stress
You can no longer take a stand
Walls will close inward
Time will sadly pass onward each day
Conversation runs dry
In each and every way
Girl, why do we masquerade our feelings?
When it is simple to be pure and true
The pain started in his head, bouncing between his ears like a bullet richocheting through a tunnel.
Soon enough the pain slithered down his throat and into his lungs, clinging and growing like a fungus.
I didn't used to feel this cold. I was the kind of kid that kept summer within them. I went barefoot through the snow, I wore shorts late into the fall. Never brought a coat. That was before I met you.
It is quite sad
Nothing but darkness and pain
There was no love to be found
Everything has gone down the drain
That is the price you pay
When a loved one messes around with narcotics
I heard the news. I cried for weeks.
How am I ever going to come to terms with not having you in my life anymore?
Your smile, your laugh, your prescence. It filled the room whenever you were near.
It's inevitable that at some point in life, we all become cold, whether it's for a week or a lifetime, we become cold.
But what is being cold? Being cruel? Sad? Distant? It's subjective to each and every individual.
I remember the day like it was yestserday
Asleep in deep dreams when my mom woke me
To tell me what happen
The day my whole life changed from under me
In a 5th of a second my world came crashing down
The breaking of the heart is the most painful when you think you've found the one, then they just walk our or your life like you were never nothing. The heart breaks when you lose someone you loved with your whole heart.
It never stopped hurting,
Every moment of every day,
the pain engulfed her;
It was hard for her to believe,
The one person who she loved,
Gone, never to return;
Her eyes searched for him,
All alone I walk through land I stepped on
Looking for the cradle of the gusty wind
The wind that accords glee throughout every minds
Until contentment passed through and sing lullabies
Alas, I must
I hadn't a choice, really
I coiled in fear and agony as I caressed her cold, leathery skin
Yelling for her spirit to reenter with no such luck
The sad begging blue eyes
Almost bring tears to my eyes.
Almost.
The tiny warm smile
Almost makes a matching grin.
Almost.
The pitter patter of tiny feet
Almost makes me laugh.
Today I saw you’re the books your favorite author wrote. I still have all those books you gave me sitting in a pile under a small blue table that you helped me build one day when my parents weren’t home.
I worry about the day that the future comes and I have accomplished so much and I look to you and you have run out of excuses
April 17th, 2016It was just a date on the calendar, that morningI wore the same shoes from yesterday, not botheringto wipe off that smudge.I wasn't in my Sunday's best and yet she
I remember
All those years
I spent waiting for you.
I remember
Crying and begging
For you to come back.
I remember
How awful I felt
When I realized the truth.
I remember
Not a good thing
When one lives in poverty
Situations are often dreary
While in a state of uncertainty
There are dark clouds
That appear in the sky
Nothing but somber moments
Why should she stay?
Look at the way how you treated her
She gave you everything
But, you were insincere
You never showed her any appreciation
All you did was waste precious time
His picture sits among my books
some of which for me he bought.
Down from the shelf he smiles, looks
with his eyes still full of thought.
The sudden loss of a man of steel
a grandpa so strong, so kind
She's dead and I'm gonna die
And this will all come to nothing, because I don't do things half way
This won't end peacefully
I might smile as I burn the things that I have to get rid of
The opposite of love is time
For time heals all
Except the scars of love
Love lost, love unsure, love unrequited
Only love can survive the weathering of time
One day later and I still feel love
I miss you,
I love you.
What day is it?
Where are you?
Hey,
Hello.
What are you doing today?
Sitting alone
And pondering deep thoughts
Blatantly staring at the wall
She feels so lost
She put her trust in you
But, there was no love in your heart
Nothing but pain and abuse
It started early today with her ear-splitting nagging
Her purpose is to obey me, so I retaliated with slapping
Jabbing with a screwdriver she miserably misses
It has been fifteen years
Since that dark and gloomy day
We as a nation were attacked
Nothing but total turmoil in every way
Thousands sadly lost their lives
There were painful hearts
She will find her strength
And simply walk away
You have abused her a lot
Your heart has gone astray
She sadly drowns in tears
Because, she had put her trust in you
You never gave back to her
She is brokenhearted
You have torn her apart
You were never there
Right from the very start
Tears are falling from her face
Nothing but mass confusion
Living in a state of turmoil
In this life, I will die a thousand times over.
I've learned the sun doesn't wait for me, and it doesn't wait for you,
and that's okay
We can watch the stars together in the meantime
You rest beneath the surface of my mind
as you meld into the surface of the earth.
Talking about you is still hard, but it needs to be done.
Got you engraved on my arm so I could say your name
Do you think I forgot about you?...Never...You are my baby...I will always be your mami, baby. I will always continue to sing you lullabies from my heart into the wind.
I search around my head
I look inside my heart
To find those key words
That make this sound
More like art
It’s the simple way
You can frame
A panaroma of feelings,
I have forgotten the taste of prayer Have salt bath bathed the bruises on my heartThey shot my brother while I slept
What am I to do with a sound that heeds no muse? - with this devil-red guitar that wears one string one octave high? I'm lying; I knew well that its sonic-auburn spell would disappear: now dirty bells
Poetry is my entry, it is the sound of my breath. The sound of my unrest.
Poetry allows me to inhale the world in one big gulp
And feel the vibration of her soul carry the weight of my nervous heart
Friend you left me alone today.
Heaven your mind will depart to.
Body stays to decompose down.
You are now part of Earth's soul.
Friend you left me days ago now.
I have no outlet
You are a tyrant
I feel like dying
Does it matter than I'm crying
You do not love me
You always retreat
I want to escape
I badly want to get away
Why do I love you
When you avoid responsibility
It clearly shows that you do not care
Just open your eyes
You need to be more aware
Opportunity will pass you by
There will be nothing for you to gain
You will lose everything
Day is not for
drinking, drugging or dating.
Night is for
neglect, nicotine and nakedness.
Revel in the
rambunctousness, rabidness and release.
Wake in the morning with
We thought it was a typical Sunday,
Little did we know it’d be a nightmare,
I heard the news and had nothing to say,
How could I? Life cannot be this unfair.
Image by Vesna Kittelson
"Halt, friend.
Trouble not their moments passing
Death hath kissed their fellow gone
And now they have but not left
For it is here they wander on Earth
Reading excerpts of his cherished poems,
As the ocean breeze fluttered past our noses offering the smell of salty water,
He taught me many lessons.
She can clearly see
That you really do not care
There was zero communication
You were never there
She sadly drowns in tears
At the distorted connection
Such a horrible sight
Back when I was an addict,
I had this friend who,
No matter how hard he tried to act,
Who,
Was never indirect,
Who,
Always had something negative to say,
And one day he said,
Why is it so hard to realize
when someone has perished,
that she is gone?
I know that she is gone but it doesn't feel real.
I can feel her all around me.
In every room I feel her prescence,
Even the sky on fire
Did not compare to the glow of your hand in mine,
The climax to the one paragraph
That was our love story.
I violently ripped out the pages that were our future,
To just visit you at homeis equivalent to nothing
When you became the earthand grew within trees
When your breath was the windstirring the leaves
To look through those eyes
Mama started goin’ gray some years ago.
Her body’s breakin’, or so she tells me
All damn night and all damn day as she cries.
I’ve got to agree; she never used to
Cry her eyes and ears off all the damn time.
The smell of the fresh April air
Reminds me of this time, last year
The day seemed fair
But suddenly became my worst fear
I never meant what was said
A week before this
I'm almost lost
No longer can I see
The road ahead of me
Back tracking, Slipping back into
Who I used to be
Wondering, Aimlessly
Uncertainty it swallows me
Engulfs me, surrounds me
She screams in silence,
But no one can tell.
And her experience with hell,
Has her contemplating self violence
She sobs to herself.
Her superman, her father,
Dies, her life forever altered.
Girl, why do you condone his mess?
There is nothing but mass confusion
He never really cared about you
Such a cloudy situation
You stuck by his side
Hoping that he would change
We are the leaves upon the tree We grow weary and die Only to be born anew We prepare We guard ourselves We turn dark and brittle Then we are scattered We lose our way And all that we have known We are filled with ice and pain We lay dormant We
Your finger
Dirty, calloused, and scarred
Seemingly out of place in my tiny newborn hand
My tender grip slowly softening your heart
Your palm
To my best friend.
When we met it was the 15th day of 3rd grade
I sat alone in the corner like I always had
But this time, you were there with someone
Biten whole, broken sand and sole, shreds of something they
said
Love-and-loss: same breath, same bed.
Forget the good and its sunny smile
-
'Cause
-
you-and-me were all I had
I remember when I wrote my first poem.
I was 8 years old.
I had just processed the loss of my father.
I had never before felt so alone
So hurt
So empty
So lost.
I thought about you then
I wanted to fight for you
I didn't want it to end
I thought about you then
I wondered how you were doing,
I meant to call,
to tell you that I missed you
Gravel crunches under my cleats
But I won’t display my talents.
Severed body and broken frame
Mar the path from which I came.
My game of love and joy
Will never be the same.
Gunman Gunman
I feel so ashamed
With negative emotions feeling your brain
While gunshots and rage
perform on the stage
Dozens and dozens
Lost in fright
Left in the dark to bleed all night
LGBT
We dance, merry in a fortunate life
With lights flashing blue and green and red
Our only wish: that this will never end
A sentence without a terminal point
We are young. We are free in this great dance
I drove through the night thinking about all the stuff that he said, he forgot to tell you ..... He was to young to remember ..... He looks into dark every night, seeing the stars that are up high .....
I want to give you
The most beautiful words in the world
To hold in your heart
And keep on a cold day
When my voice is far too far away.
Bury me with flowers
So when I become indistinguishable from the soil
The roses can sink into my skin
And decompose with me
We would become one
Become all
You would feel me under your bare feet
My heart is broken
I will never again hear your words spoken
You live on in my memories
I wish that was enough for me
The church bells tolled nine
Tuesday afternoon.
The shock sent shivers down my spine.
A young rose sheared at its first bloom.
you copy me
from the way i walk
to the way i talk
you copy me
from the way i sang
to my different types of slang
you copy me
from the way i sit
to my humor and wit
There are times in your life,
times you’re overwhelmed
by joyous feelings, then
there are times in your life,
times you’re overwhelmed
by deep, dark, hurtful feelings.
the artist who drinks thier own blood,
is the first to taste the salt,
flavor to enhance the taste,
seasoning to please the guests,
our blackest paints add the deepests contast,
And I watched as you went
As you slowly slipped from one existence
Into another
I held your hand and wished
That you had the strength to squeeze it again
That soft, gentle squeeze that screamed
Here without him,
I have nothing
I am nothing
I have constant doubt
Flaring up inside
I have constant worry
And there are always tears to cry
With him,
I had everything
They stand shoulder to shouder
Forming a circle around the casket
Heads bowed in prayer
His daughter, the smallest of all
Only wanting the return of his life
Everyone there contains grief
When one close to you dies
You find yourself in a foreign place
Nothing feels the same
Nothing tasts the same
Nothing works the same.
I recognize the face in the mirror but
There is nothing but a dark path
When a person engages in substance abuse
Your world comes crashing down
There is sadly everything for you to lose
All hope will fade
Nothing ever seems right
I’m not religious. I mean, I was when I was younger. I was brought up in Christian family. God was my saviour.
You lost a diamondpiece
You sadly abused her
Treated her like she was nothing
When she gave you everything
There is no one to blame
She gave you many chances
Forever she will disappear
Girl, why do you tolerate the mess?
You really do not need to deal with nonsense
You sadly let time waste to the side
Lots of pain and sadness you continue to hide
He never really appreciated you
Darkness is what you will see
When you follow the wrong crowd
Life will sadly pass you by
No one will want to come around
Your issues with substance abuse
Will put you on a path of nowhere
Shy, cry, bye and why
Look me in my eyes, and you still lie
Tears swelling, questioning how I will get by
Water weight dropping, I've ran myself dry
I'm a wreck, be honest, how do I look?
To those ready to leave, your coats are being washed
It seems something's spilled on them and now you have to stay
At least until I'm finished saying what I need to say
She may be gone
But, you can still hear her voice
Your mother was always there
To help you make the right choice
Let her voice be heard
She wants you to do your best
Broaden your world
so many emotions my body can't contain
continuously being suffocated like an un-oxygenated flame
if someone would put me out how grateful i would be
for my emotions--never ending--are shifting like the trees
Looking up I see you there;A star shining in the sky.Like a dimond hovering,There above the place I lie,
Find it in you
To carry on
Losing a loved one is hard
But, you must have the will to be heartstrong
Cherish all the memories
And wear your heart on your sleeve
Think of the grand moments
you woke up from a dream that felt too untrue
because it was a feeling that was too farnew for you
you hopped out of your cherry red bed
and out to do things you had to attend to
You'll never understand
What you did
People like to plant gardens in my heart
They'll scatter seeds across my soul like
Rice after a wedding
Flowers will blossom and
It echoes through my mind
and feels glossy, shimmering
as if it were a woodland fairy;
with wings beating up and down in a
steady rhythm, a slow staccato but
All I feel is exhaust.
I am quiet at all cost.
Through the morning dew and the evening frost
I stay still and watch life pass me by.
Girl, why waste your time
And fight all of his lies
He has used and abused you
He never cared to see you cry
But, you stick by his side
Hoping that he would change
You will suffer through more pain
She's drowning in a sea of shadows
The world fades away
The only thing in her tear streaked eyes
Is his dying face
Let's dance under the moonlight
Sing under the stars
Climb up the mountains
And make the world ours
Let's run under the ocean
All I need is hope.
Hope that my brother of 23
will be able to wash out the color
of our father's favorite shirt he wore
like the color that washed out of his face
as he lay dying
Once upon a time,
We were younger and we loved each other.
You loved me freely, for the world to see,
But I had fears so I loved you secretly.
But you should know that I did.
Know that even with the passing time
H20
By Bethany Hughes
Water.
On a deserted island;
water would be necessary to drink,
to survive.
Water.
Flowing throughout my body,
through yours,
Words only mean so much
They mean nothing without action
Time will pass on
And unexpected events will happen
Day becomes night
Tides will turn
Moments will simply become a memory
What does one say that hasn't already been said,
When you sit down and cry at the end of your bed?
Your heart is heavy, wrenched, and torn.
Your face streaked with tears,
eyes forlorn.
sometimes it's not about the tears shed
even though they are
it's not about how deep your wounds lead
even if they lead to your heart
it's not about the words left unsaid
or what you did in the dark
Kind. Solid. Steadfast.Fatherly."God loves you, Erin, and I do too."I listenedAnd I love.And when we parted,I missed him, and couldn't Wait a year to hear him.I found an address
Author's Note: I am extremely proud of this poem. I entered it into San Mateo's City Arts contest and recieved an honorable mention, and didnot have any intention, and did not follow the theme. So I hope you all enjoy this poem.
Girl, you gave him a lot of chances
But he threw them all away
His heart was never into you
He broke your poor heart in two
There was nothing but frustration and pain
Simply nothing for you to gain
I am going to live
I am going to run with the stars and
Scream at the sky
James Joyce will hold my hand
And we will walk in a connected world
As the trees mutter a familiar tune
It is rather sad
When a person wastes their life away
They had every opportunity to make it happen
But, they sadly chose to be led astray
Their loved ones are now in a state of bewilderment
I've got a face caked in makeup,
and sweat pooling in my palms.
I make last second prop checkups,
and nerves have me forgetting verses from Psalms.
The curtain rises as the lights go up.
Sentimental she is
Because you threw it away
You never truly appreciated her
Why should she stay?
She really gave you her all
But, you were never there
Consider her gone
"I love you Grandma!" I said hugging her knees
Little me knew her value even then
Her warm hugs
Her white hair
Her eyes that squinted when she smiled
That nose that every Ramsay shares
Girl, why do you put up with his mess?
Just pick yourself up and move on
You can start all over again
You have the ability to be heartstrong
He never really cared for you
Had some nerve just to criticize
No words can express the hurt
The pain and disbelief
A country under attack
People around the world are in grief
Lives are sadly lost
Things can change in the blink of an eye
This goes to show you
I traded all my sanity for love.A glance, a test, a terminal mistake;My guilty conscience fits me like a glove.
Real life isn't like T.V.It doesn't cut away to commercial.It doesn't end always end in resolution. Real life is messy and it's loud.Its watching a marriage of several decades
It always begins the same. You slide behind a cold cold wheel. The solid black night stretches on forever. You slip trance like as the lights fly by. Each one a life with choices and consequences.
The fans rattling again. It's not the only thing shaking in the darkness.But it's making such a loud racket. I keep it on anyway. I'm afraid the silence will kill me. I fight sleep like it's tangible.
Inhale. Exhale. I've lost something, but I'm not quite certain of what. It's feels like when you reach for a wallet or a phone.Knowing it's there only to find it's not. There's a brief moment of lightning panic
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.I say it in my head again.Again. Out loud. But just above a whisper.Repeat it again in the shower. It gets lost in the melody.Mixing in the steam in the background.
We have been apart for what seems like years,
And the pain of losing you still displays throughout my tears.
I have you no more, but hold onto your memory.
At night I look up and know that you are with me.
Lonely Love There is a burning Deep in my soul My heart is yearning Like a bells toll Far across the ocean waters Underneath the skies grasp Hidden behind hurricane shutters Through a shattered heart I rasp Tell me you want me For I cannot be wit
One
My heart skips a beat
He's beautiful. Perfect. Positively sweet.
I only wish that we might meet.
But perhaps I wouldn't be able to take the heat.
Not if my heart keeps beating so quick.
A rose is a rose
A heart is a heart
A mind is a mind
A soul is a soul
A person is a person
And no one can change that.
That in its self,
is a victory.
Dear Kiersten,
I hope heaven isn't just full of angels.
I hope there are abundant ladybugs, majestic horses, and cuddly dogs.
I pray heaven is filled with beauty and song!
Shakespeare once said that “it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
But he couldn’t predict the empty nights laying in bed wishing you were next to me.
How quickly the time does fly,
But how long it seems in our hearts.
We live out our lives like we always have,
Except now there's a kind of emptiness we need to fill.
It never gets any easier,
Its been 10 years without,
I don't want to be without,
All the things I've done, Started high school without
But I know you see me, All the things I've done,
With me the whole time,
Hush my dear
Shed no tear
Keep it all inside
Turn your head
As I go to bed
And utter not a sound
Love has no respect for me
Waste not your devout sympathy
I'm not gonna lie it burns for me to say this
faster than our love apparently you thought we should quit
said you couldn't love me before you love yourself
"Find yourself
Your not from here
Your fatal flaw
Your fatal fear
Find you friend
Keep them near
Into the depths
Over the edge you peer
knowing when to stand down
being aware of when to shut up
allowing ideas to form without speaking them
all will pay off in the end
Wind blow me across the world
By dark eyes who are dying now
The eve of twilight ascended
The dark is not always the worst place to be
I believe, that I don't believe
The water had to clear
Your mother may be gone
But, you can still hear her voice
She is there as a guide
To help you make the right choice
Visions of her
Are still with you
She will forever be in your heart
You were beauty and you were madness in both of their truest forms.
I loved you and I liked you until the fated day came when you crushed me under your heel like putting out a cigarette butt.
Why are they so happy
It’s not like he’s coming back
I think this is dumb
They are all really old
Like, boarding on ancient
"When anger finds me buried deep
The hurt inside might make me weep
I try and take one final breath
Before I meet a friend called Death
Must go on
Must break free
But Anger tries to keep it from me
The clock ticks by
Though the hands move slow
I've counted the minutes
When I'm feeling low
The time may pass
And your face might fade
But my memory of you
Will always remain
He’s fading
Ever so slowly
In my dreams he is
But a silhouette
Sometimes he has
The faintest of color
His laugh on a
Find the strength to carry on
In spite of the loss of a loved one
Just remember the lessons that she taught you
And see your way through
She always wanted you to do your best
Reach out and grab success
I suppose that I expected more from him, a sad sort of smile, or a hesitant wave; perhaps a backward glance as he drove away. But there was nothing. Only an empty street and the pitter patter sound of rain.
Lungs collapsed like buildings in the aftermath of an earthquake
A ripple spreading through bones and veins
The pulsations of a heart reduced to a stutter
A mere flutter
And things are falling
And crashing
“The thing about these poems is that you can practically feel the sadness bleeding out of them.
Like the way that ink bleeds onto a page.
And I kept going back to those wells searching for another form of self-harm,
Have faculty by nature to subsist;
And bids her eyes hereafter still be blind.
And being set, I'll smother thee with kisses;
She bears the load of lust he left behind,
Here come and sit, where never serpent hisses,
There's something I need to tell you,
My story is short enough to expose.
I am no saint,
What is the point?
If there is no trust or communication
The bond will break
And there will be mass frustration
Nothing but clouded matters
Because words are unspoken
Just open up to one another
When a baby walks and falls we cheer yelling do it again! Try again!
When a kid can’t count to 100 he gets helped by his parents.
You're sitting there across the room yet it feels like..
your a hundred miles away…
I gaze at you and the way your eyes shine
your smile shines brightly and kind
I’m asleep oh so gentle, so calm. I wake up to a touch on my arm. I jump up scared thinking he’s back, I then notice the feeling was myself touching my arm. “Anyone there?” I ask frightened.
This story begins with a girl in bed sleeping, It's very silent, not a sound to be heard. I’m sitting on a chair next to her bed glaring blankly at her.
They always tell me how if I had known you,
I would have loved you.
At Christmas parties, someone always
clears their throat and raises their glass and says,
"To Alice."
Volume amplified.
Stresses maximized.
Nothing stabilized.
Endlessly mesmerized.
Hope petrified.
Saftey tramatized
Restoration, lost.
Deterioration of the mind,
It's but a state of strained helplessness,
As I urge you to do what builds you up,
But tears me down.
You tell me that I should learn to be selfish,
To take what I want,
She cannot go on
Her heart is frozen
You have sadly hurt her a great deal
Because she is heartbroken
You never showed her any appreciation
Nor, did you really care
Her eyes are now open wide
Dark and gloomy
Along with mass confusion
Quite esoteric
This only adds to the frustration
Nothing but a chaotic scene
With the loss of a life
The little children no longer have their mother
Riding through the storm
With lots of pain
Bearing with the loss of a loved one
As you listen to the rhythm of the rain
All that is sadly left is memories
Do not forget the lessons that she taught you
When living in the streets
Your future is uncertain
Anxiety and fear surround you
You are always unsure of what to do
Just a sad state to be in
You are just asking for trouble
Try to find yourself
Girl, there is no reason
For you to be there
Haven't you had enough of his abuse
Just remove yourself from bad air
The longer you stay there
Darkness is what you will continue to find
Girl, it really is sad
That he left you standing in the cold
He often treated you as if you were nothing
He sadly did not realize that you have a heart of gold
It is a shame
That he treated you that way
Girl, look at the way at how you are being treated
But, you stay by his side
You just let yourself go
As if you do not have any pride
You do everything for him
But yet, there is zero appreciation
A scratch in a casket is not something you would expect.With the meaning attached, you think someone would have checkedBut with you I expected nothing else.A public flaw presented beautifully.You did just the same.Wore your flaws beautiful and pro
Life is full of unexpected surprises;
You could lose everything in a flash,
From people you love to little prizes,
Thrown in the wind like trash.
The love we shared ran deep, I find myself wanting to stay asleep
Id chase the sun if I knew that you were there waiting for me
Burns to the touch, a bitter sweet pain that I miss so much
I forgot the taste of reality
On brick-dusted lips because
I can’t speak the truth.
It’s too hard to say:
I've never liked my bed
With you in it it is warm and comforting to feel your skin on mine
My bed makes your absence felt
I'm colder
I am less sure of what space my body should claim
Hearts are often broken
Because, words were never spoken
You said that you would be there
Though you never made it clear
That child needs you
You need to be able to come through
Just be there
Imagination ruins and creates us,
We run with the wind or get blown behind,
Letting others distort our perception of the perfect image,
Searching for the one person to the end of the world,
Girl, what a pity?
He did not seem to care about you
No appreciation was shown at all
All he did was tear your heart in two
You need to wake up and realize
That he thrived on putting you down
Losing him feels like
a thousand days' rain.
A weathered heart
pumping rusty blood
through iron veins.
When he's gone
a patinated pulse
is all I have left.
I can feel his presence
There was something about this smile, that I once always wore. This feeling of happiness, that I no longer store. I remember when I lost it, when my world faded to greywhen the bubbly playful girl
Drenched upon the battle fieldUnder silver weapons wieldMisdirection her only shieldThe wildest of roses grew
Girl, let me make my voice real clear
There was no love in his heart
He never cared for you
Right from the very start
Nothing but bitter frustration
I can see that look on your face
Everyone needs to wake up
We just need to realize
That tragedy and terror
Is taking place right before our eyes
Nothing but sad and dark moments
Many are in a state of disbelief
Can you just get one more chance to embrace her?
Sadly, you just can not
Your mother is gone forever
You will just have to adjust as things come about
Remember the things that she taught you
She may be gone
But, her spirit lives on
Very energetic and goal-oriented
She possessed a heart that was strong
She was witty and very pretty
A photojournalist that was sincere
I called a thousand times last night
But you were never there
I wore my voice out crying
But I know that you don't care
What happened to the kingdom
We built from blood and ash
I lived in a world where i only watched
Where clouds rise like kings'where sunsets bow like jesters before them
And the moon watches hed been offered kingship once but he declined
For power is not worth a monsoon
A statue of metallic human shape,
posessing life and tongue of silver shine.
Adept and witty speech of gilded shine,
observant voice that no one could escape.
For praise, it sings of glory sans mistake.
So cryptic
No one can understand
Often in a state of bewilderment
About every method or plan
As time goes on
The situation remains unclear
Confusion and frustration continues to mount
Liz
It’s in the morning that I think of you
I can’t seem shake the feeling in my chest
Though I thought I was breaking through
Why do you push me away
When all I want to do is help?
Please let me help take care of you,
Since you cannot yourself.
You used to be so kind to me,
Now you won't let me in.
I can't win.
I sit in a room full of people,
Looking upon teary eyes and blotchy faces.
People who knew him longer than I,
Better than I,
Who shared jokes and stories and laughter and tears.
I listen as they speak,
We walked around with you in our halls
Always thought you were beautiful
Always thought you were fine
I guess it was a lie
I'm not going to call you an angel
It's not that you don't deserve the title but angels don't sin
It's not that you aren't one but where do I begin?
I always felt that your smile could save the world
The Irrelevance of time,
the impermanence of this moment,
the intricacies of connecting,
the impatience in waiting,
the incessant need in acquiring,
the anxiety of whats to come,
I was bright eyed and my heart was full and bursting with a love I was eager to give.
When I met you I was a freshman.
When I met you I believed in true love.
True loveThere's a man who woke up one dayHe found a letter where his true love once laidit's been 2 years since she walked offto where, he has no thoughthe keeps the letter in his hand
Matronly, maternal mother you are not.
Nurturing mother of love,
Narcissus dances through your mind.
With every rejecting shove
You cannot comprehend
The breach I feel inside.
If there were no such things as thieves
I would simply assume I lost my stuff
Yet there they are crawling around town
Making daily life unnecessarily tough
Hello Charles. I'm not going to call you grandpa becayse I've never met you, and I haven't always heard the best things about you. But if I could, I would give you the chance to explain yourself.
Seventeen: Ten thousand voices grab me and swing me through the Autumn air as I try to figure out how I got to this college campus.
I remember facing your house, and thinking ¨Should I visit her?¨
Like the fool I was, I thought, ¨I'll see her again.¨
And so without a second thought, I got in the car and drove off.
If only I had known...
I'm sorry that I tried to love you with everything while still keeping half of me locked away.
Now I've lost you and I'm struggling to shut my gate.
Lots of people are drowning in sorrow
As the result of yet, another tragic event
A college campus filled with chaos and confusion
Along with lots of frustration
Several lives have been sadly lost
The darkened pall of misery has come,
The blade of death has fallen once again,
Upon the neck of youth and happiness,
A heart beats a steadily thump of a drum
The sun sets above the horizon
But it has not yet warmed my body.
The sun glistens
And the light sparks rainbows in the mist.
Dear Addison,
It's momma. Happy birthday. Today is the day I guessed would've been your birthday.
I think about you every day, and I love you very much.
I'm sorry I never got to hear your heartbeat.
I know it will never be true
Because although they say,
"I will always love you"
Deep down inside
All I hear are the lies
Telling me everyday,
"You will never be good enough
Everytime I get my hopes up
It all crashes to the ground.
Everytime I let someone in
My heart becomes more cold.
Everytime I am left behind
Only then do i truly know
I walked in darkness today
My heart trembled
I thought of you and I shook
How can you touch me through time so clearly
YOU are the essence of my deepest secret heart
If I see a day, may I know the night
For in the darkness, you hold me tight
Carry on my sweetest soul
For tomorrow shall bring us closer still
And though,
my eyes stretch the horizon...
the cigarette burns quicker as I drag the smoke deeper in my lungs
I ponder the events of this week
my wanderings, where are you?
It Ain't Heaven till you get here
The stars are not as bright nor the moonlight as sweet
It is not the same until I find you in my arms
The air is damp and musty without you
And now you're gone,
Just like a petal torn off a flower after a gust of strong wind.
The wind of life carried you away while you were still sweet.. Goodbye.
Your aroma still lingers, lavender.
Your eyes are a deep blue,
And mine are just brown.
As soon as I dive into you,
I can't help but drown.
There's an empty space next to me
And I know it's where you used to be
You are a cliche rolled
In poetry
And I can't help but love you
Why must suffering even exist,That of whih I've been forced to feel?Why must the pain continue to persist?Oh, my soul shall never heal!That night, my friends, it just had to rain
There is no disappointment that hurts quite as badly as having absolutely no way of explaining what you'r
When you go into an emergency room they always ask you a series of questions.
Just beyond the horizon, I say. Just beyond the horizon,
And then, I will reach you,
And then, I will be able to hug you again,
And then, I will finally be able to breathe again,
I.
I am fascinated by numbers
I have an affinity for numbers.
I have written him 71 pages of poems.
14675 words and counting
2462 stanzas
3241 lines mounting.
Upon each other like
Girl, remove yourself from bitterness
Just find your happiness
You do not need that loser
You have been under enough stress
Always looking for someone else to blame
And never takes responsibility
When memory calls upon me
I sit to remember
Joyous or Melancholy
Awake or in slumber
The sights I have seen
The things I have known
The people I’ve loved
Even though some are gone
On that dreadful morning
Really hard to believe
Pain and suffering are still there
Families continue to grieve
There was nothing but turmoil
Destruction and devastation
A total uproar
I wear a mask on the hottest day,
in the middle of winter.
Everyday.
I cannot go without my smiling mask.
I bring it with me where ever I go.
"Why?", some will ask.
To hide a secret within.
As a society we must realize
That life will continue on
Live it and enjoy it
Just make sure that you are headstrong
Be a person who has a vision
Be someone who has drive and desire
How could you leave a woman
Standing in the cold
Sleeping all alone with no one there to hold
How could you leave a woman
to struggle all by herself
And offer no help
How could you leave a woman
The last time we kissed was two years ago.I didn't know it would be our lastI think I would have done it differently if I didA fleeting peck right before I left?That's not how I wanted our last moment to be
If you come across a lonely girl
With words as fine and frail as grains of sand,
Tell her that most oysters lack a pearl,
But do take into yours her tender hand.
The sunlight slowly began to fade,
It's silent whispers hissed, "Don't be afraid."
It disappeared from empty streets,
as little children hid under sheets.
Darkness filled the broken ones,
It is that moment.
The moment you forget how to beath.
The moment the ground beneath you is stripped.
The moment you feel the weight of the shock echo through your bones.
because that's what you do
to the people you love–
you crush them between your clammy hands that you never let me hold,
you wiggle your fingers to sift through those pulverized remains so that only the big pieces are left
I sit here as a child
watching the eyes that once smiled
blink out
Doubt
fills my mind
as I try to find a rhyme
that explains
this sadness ripping into me like rain
rips the sun
The way the words flow from your lips,
almost as if you remembered our kiss.
Those long nights flew by,
I feel alone
Don’t wanna go home
No one answers their phone
All my friends seem pretend
This is the end
As I sit alone on the brink of death
My mind wanders to a gentler time.
A time when the wind didn't bite
And sun it set- never died.
I remember the first kisses,
the many, many kisses
It was one of us.
Then it was two, as you emerge out of a sea of wheat.
The sky was a perfect blend of pink and orange, the sun
A stop light, putting the speeding car of time to a halt.
For every bated breath you took,For every shudder that you made,For every time you felt that pain.
christ chose to lift her at this time,
"To die is better than to live,"
is written in the Book of Life.
Hold your breath
Make your peace
This radio has fallen silent
This newsreporter's caught speechless
I don't feel this pain
When I'm not breathing
We just fall apart
Oh pale little lark,
Where is your heart?
Has it been washed away,
On the ship of today?
Tiny, sweet mother
Growing sick of her brother.
Tears run down the face,
A one way street, a broken path
One that's filled with shattered glass
No cautious steps could ever cross
This road that's made of pain and loss.
Above a light that glitters down
A calming sense of silent solitude
washed over her like the waves that stroke
each grain of sand.
The rays beat down upon her pure skin
Insipred by the 2012 Waldo Canyon and 2013 Black Forest fires in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
I can't turn it off, that goddamn alarm
continuously sounding as I lay here
Each "beep" saying your name
Pounding in the realization
That you won't be there
to hold me,
to fix me,
Another angel, capable of unimaginable things.
Demons, screaming in her mind.
Another angel, wants to die.
Demons, swarm her heart.
A young man, holds her close.
His voice, tells her of her magnificence,
Cat-God.
Scars on human souls
like cracks on china plates,
stone-cold glue seeping from wounds
frozen mid-drip.
Cat-God.
Paws against old wood shelf,
one furry oaw on slick porcelain.
Now that you're gone,
I sit here and wait,
You've been away too long,
I'm still expecting to hear you come in late.
In the middle of the night,
you tend to cross my mind,
The last glimpse of Amber and burgundy,
After the bombing and the raid,
As his flesh is kissed and licked away
By pincers of roiling flame.
Take me to the moment when our eyes first met
Across the room, at a party
You didn't have to say a word
I knew what you were thinking, without meeting you before
For this I cannot bear. To know you are there and you are not here.
To what do I owe the pleasure to the world to thank for the heart ache it has brought upon me.
Death comes by
like a storm of sadness,
The skies weep while the sun hides.
The heart mourns for justification.
Depressing black, lifeless clothing and sad exhausted faces.
How does a heart beat?
Is yours slow?
While we laugh at
the best moments
of our shared time.
Why did you wait till
You were dying to
finally find life?
Dear Love
I hope this note reaches you well.
Maybe sometime after noon?
So you will remember
To look for me
Kite grasped within a child's gripThin string suddenly slipsLost past burnt finger tips.Once was so dear, no long hadDevoured by blue quick sand.To the nothing reaches desperate, empty hands.
Why is it that something or someone you care about is soon forgotten?
Like you promise them you will never forget them, but you forget them anyway.
The day you left,
The day I dropped you off to go start your new life.
I wiped your tears as you cried, and said goodbye,
I told you it would be okay, and hugged you endlessly until I had to walk away.
She stares
out the window pane
with the flowers in her cold hands.
Slowly the petals drop
and with them
her face disappears down into the dark.
He poisoned her.
It was too late now
There's a burning in my chest
And I can't tell whether my heart is on fire, set alight by the rush of energy transferred when he placed his hand on mine for the last time
From my distant branch
I see the nest of broken birds.
They are huddled close together
And shielded from the sun.
They’ve suffered wounds that nothing seems to staunch—
I'm not a hero
I am not good like he was
But I am alive while he is not
There is nothing like the guilt I feel
Guilt that shakes me awake
3 AM
I usually wish to take your place
My mother and I walked around outside before her death.
She smelled of industrial waste.
But I tell myself she smelled like flowers, anyways.
---
Sitting all by myself, it seems to be only me,
striving to attempt, what I can't truly be.
Heartache and pain, I don't know what for,
it just seems, that you shut the door.
HAIL MARY FULL OF FACE
A Dreadful Tale about a Dead Anglo Mother, A Dreadful, Avenging Aunt,
A Stolen Baby Sister, and a Hateful, An Unfaithful, Defaulting Father.
Flowers have been planted in my heart
Roots intertwineing with my veins pulling them apart
Seeds burrowed deep inside my chambers
The planters thinking they are doing me a favor
Some stay and help them grow
i still find your hairs on my pillow and i stillthink of you when i open the doori still manage to worry if i've left any papers on my floori still sneeze as much as i didwhen you were around
It's not your fault I'm afraid of the sea
Even though I ache for the open air and the salty breeze
I haven't escaped the shipwrecks on the shore
Some never had the chance to sail
When I look at you I don’t just see some sad, lost girl,
I see someone beautiful, who makes my world melt when she smiles,
I see someone whose laugh just makes me want to laugh right along with you.
You writhe up above me, demon oh so lovely
Your talons dig within me, like our love...but skin deep.
Your secret tears fall around me, till in your all i’m drowning.
I'm glad i have a chance to see you today.
It's all good man, i got you some grapes.
You smile and send a nod my way, It feels so good to see your face.
Your touch is weak, the doctor says you cant speak,
Oh, how I yearn to see the ocean again.
The soft, cool foam drifts up the sand.
It glides over my feet,
And pulls me by the hand.
Quickly, it splashes my mouth.
My heart turned into stone so I skipped it across the pond
I made the choice to let it go because I didn't need it anymore
Now I'm dragging it back because I found where it belongs
Go on to be with the LordTo be in His holy presence forever moreWelcome homeYou good and faithful servant.
You don't see mestanding there - watchingwaiting.
Even with the Moon'sfull glare-longinghoping.
I whisper your Nameto the quiet night - watchingwaiting.
I am quiet and quite emotional,
many used to say I was really antisocial.
I have limped, kicked and crawled from the at school threats,
nobody knows my darkest secrets.
The losses we feel
They overwhelm our very minds
They take our hopes and emotions
Dash them on the stones of reality
And laugh.
They laugh at our loss.
Birth of new born killers
high end thrillers
sparse chances, taken with unease
beans and peas,
mark disease and
players can't see me
'cause I was never on a team
in the first dream, I ever had
Once upon a time five pennies began their journey.
Thought to be alone, really in perfect company.
You see these pennies were worth more than just five cents.
The wind on her face
The slight retrace; of what once was.
The warmth of his cheek
The breeze of the air; forever there
I did not wake up like this, yet I am flawless.
It was harder than I could have imagined
(still is, sometimes).
I have a strength forged through perseverance
My worries grow stronger
as the days grow longer
until the longest day of the year,
Look! Summer's here,
and it's time for me to go
Once again I am afraid to face this day
The day you left without returning
I want you to hear me.
I would scream profanities about how the weight in my chest makes me want to sink to the floor.
But my mouth is glued shut
By the fear that you wouldn't listen.
And if you did,
She was a beautiful gleam of light –that
last bit of gleaming sunset that strikes
through the sky like the chiming ring of
a spoon on fine crystal. She was a lone
dandelion seed floating on the breeze,
Dedicated to a dear friend named Sandra Hong, whose life was tragically lost and taken away from us too soon in October 2013.
Every answer is a lie,
Every night it all unfolds.
Only when I'd rather die
Is when the truth is told.
Every answer is one I hide,
It scares me more than you know
Because when I search,
I want to know if he kisses her the way he kissed me.
If he sighs at the touch of her lips.
If he moans with the sway of her hips.
The problem is,
I know he does.
A tear, a whisper
A shout, a cry
No one seems to hear
No one is by your side.
Everyone is oblivious until it's too late,
Another angel has been sent back too soon.
Whenever the scent of chili pepper enters my nostrils,
my mouth waters like a pavlovian dog.
I know I will chew silently, joyfully, and voraciously
on soft grained rice smothered with dripping
Red roses and blue violets
Were never-
Never will be
Enough.
Because I cared
Enough for the both of us.
Maybe that's why
You didn't care at all.
Despite my fingers being buried in yours,
Pulling
An ever-retreating journey
Into the caves of my imagination
I am pretentious
And cold
Withdrawn from the modern world
The jeans
You once adored
Her roar
Erupts the peace
The plains grow quieter
She cries for her kingdom and they
Echo
Everything you feel, it's all in your mind
Overwelming thoughts leads one to be blind
The danger is real, but fear is a choice
Save yourself from all of that noise
I am not the only one
Who has served someone my heart on a silver platter
And had it left to spoil in the hot sun on their porch.
Nor am I the only one
Who has trapped someone else's words in my mouth
I cut, I rip, I tear, I burn
The answers to questions
For which I still yearn
There is nothing left here
For me to fear
Except what is deep inside
I want to kiss you.
I want you to tell me it’s okay.
I want you to say what you’re thinking.
I want to push you off a train as it’s speeding over a bridge with a hundred-foot drop.
The day you left me,
it was the day of destruction,
it was the day that nearly killed me,
through all the pain and the tears.
I remember yet,
the way we sat together,
for the very last time,
Brown, cat-like eyes,
Smiling at me from the swing,
Swaying in the garden,
his lips formed that perfect smile.
He raised an arm, beckoned,
and I stood up, fell lovingly into his arms,
Losing someone is hard, everyone knows that.
It is especially hard when that someone is your father.
You think they are yours to have forever, but in the blink of an eye they are gone.
I looked for your car
today.
But it's not here,
because it's wrapped around you somewhere
like I was yesterday.
They say nothing lasts forever.
Now I know to this you'll disagree.
You may say we'll last forever,
but forever is what we'll never be.
What would you do,
if I said we won't last forever?
I know the smell and feel of his skin, as if it were my own.
Stop! Don't think,Just breathe,It's over,He's gone,He can't see you cry, Deep BreathStop: the tears,The lies,The pain,The regret,The blame, Deep Breath
All was in vain
We knew it
Our hearts have fractured
But only I am pierced by the shards
Now words are exchanged
You didn’t know how you spoke
Through the emptiness of your eyes
When I was born you were next to me,
Then I grew and you gave me your hand,
I remember your look,your dreams, your eyes shined they could talk.
Something happened that Autumn your laughter was lost
Your tounge speaks a thousand words
Your ears hear the sound of heaven
Your eyes see the visuals of hell
Your life is but a dream
And your loss is but a memory
And you know it is never enough
She’s going to kill herself
Maybe not today or tomorrow,
But someday she will,
Before you cry “get a hotline”,
Know that we tried.
We tried so much,
But her heart has already died.
I've always told myslef to be strong
But what do I do on those days
when the tears total to a tsunami;
overflowing and chaotic, unable to control
Dear little angel, I love you so
I'll never ever let you go
Since my heart to you belongs
I thought I'd put it in a song
You'd laugh and cry and fall asleep
Your body was just too weak
Music flows through her veins
The notes and sounds awake
Pulsing out of her heart
To keep her body full
The angel of death is so very wise,
because the angel of death
has taken so many lives.
So many husbands,
so many wives.
To death do us part
but the love stays alive.
I feel your presence, when the grass shakes a shiver
That’s when everyone hides and everyone covers
You paint sinister lines over clouds of silver
my room is crowded with feelings,
and all i feel is alone.
my family and friends, they just pretend
that this house was ever a home
my mother, she really does love me.
she's the one who tends to my wounds.
The moment of silence lasted till noon
We all agreed that he was taken too soon
Some call it a tragedy
But our lives are not Shakespeare
And Death is no Bard
So what sense can you give me?
You say you never meant to hurt meBut that's exactly what you've done.Against your knowledge you've ripped it outLeft a hole of mass destruction.I fell for you but you threw me aside
Thump thumpWho’s there? Nothing but the breeze.Scrape scrapeWhat’s that? Nothing but the trees.Imagination taking overHearing everything but reality.
She completely tore him apart.Molecule by molecule he started to evaporate,only there was no cycle of reincarnation this time.
Slit my wrists and hope to die
Not for one more second do I want to have open eyes
Leave this world eternally
Sleep forever, oh so blissfully
No more worries to keep me up
No reason to give a fuck
being in the age of adolence and pimples was probably my favorite time to be alive, although you don't get boyfriends, you get family
Your role in my life is irreplaceable
Me without you, is the earth without the sun
Depression is an understatement
Pain is a quicksand, and I’m drowning in sorrow
My brother’s life was ended premature
Your eyes used to be so bright
They looked straight forward
Unnerving but more alive than all those around you,
They used to look so colorful and awake
What changed you?
Was it the people?
Someday I will say the word “love” without slurring itwithout murmuring it over the airwaveswithout screaming it through tears,without it cutting my knees in the gravel of the driveway.Our driveway.
Now days people don't care wether they hurt you or not. People only worry about themselves and what benefits them only. Being betrayed is not a good feeling.
I am scared and alone
I wonder what death feels like
I hear snickers and whispering at all times
I see hatrd in the mirror
I want to be numb
I am scared and alone
I pretend that I am happy
I can see it all.
The downfall of men.
The inevitable destruction
of all we once
held close.
There is nothing we can do,
but watch.
Watch as all the hope,
comforts,
That's a start - in the room of my heart.
My thoughts do not contain certitude,
For there stands before me a physical facsimile
Of you.
Except lacking your attitude.
Your timorous tone,
You threw,
Staring out the window, examining the stars.
I put my finger to my heart and recall the mournful scars.
I pray to God and bow my head,
Kneeling peacefully by my bed.
An angel comes and embraces me
If you’ve ever loved a boy who is both out of your league and culture
Whatever he meant by that
You would know what it’s like to sit at a dining table in a home
I can't make you love me,
Because you refuse to see,
That she is what I said she'd be.
Betrayal, bitter on my tongue,
Since the day you said you were done.
Irrational, you called my fears,
So memories has faded
I had never felt so lone
Bringing back my lonely heart
Take this pain from me
Far is forever when it's you and me
Even though i don't regret
I feel low in my chest
When I was four I loved my brother and he broke his arm
he screamed and fell and I didn't know what to do
so I gave him marshmallows
When I was seven I loved a doll and I cut its hair
This is not a poem,it is a waning recollection.
I danced with death in Bermuda,entangled in his unescapable grasp,my deepest insecurities mirroredby his icy and desolate self.
You are a cigarette
I crave you so very often
You fill up my lungs and leave my head dizzy
Once I've gotten my buzz
I breathe you out and watch you dance away with the wind
always left wanting more
The light burns bright
in this dark excuse of a room.
There's so much fight
Amidst the grief and gloom.
Optimism engulfs the wife
Whose lost her groom.
Though her heart feels strife
Anxiety
It looks like the gray sky prior to a storm, caked with layer upon layer of ominous clouds.
It sounds like the silence after howls of the wolves rip through the air.
This house sometimes feels empty
No one understands I don't mean to hurt them
I just don't know how to reach out
My mom was my galaxy and I was a stargazer
Now she's just part of the Milky Way
You made me feel like I was queen,
No matter what was said you would be there to pull me back to my feet,
Like I was something special,
You were the first person to ever make me feel this way,
She has a pretty face.
Her face is not framed by the hood she turns up against the cold
I found your pictures on my closet floor
The only way of knowing you were here before
And I no longer get waves of tears anymore
This half of my bed
Has been crying for you, asking where you've been
and who you've been sleeping on since then
Some open book you were
So open, I could see the dotted lines on the pages you scribbled on
And everyone knew how to read but me
I watched all my friends fall, in and out of old love Shame took the hardest, and hope hung from a limb Sadness drowned in her own tears, and anger forgot how to swim
Just like how the sun gives light to the flowers…
Just like how the trees give off oxygen for human life…
One cannot co-exist without the other.
The flowers and the trees cannot exist without the sun
The doors swing open
Hospital disinfectant clogging your pores
Flickering lights
The endless shuffling of paper slippers
One room is not empty:
one room, on Valentine’s Day,
I tried so hard
To hold you near
But then it happened
My greatest fear
You made me laugh
You made me cry
I still don't understand
I look at you. I see a dream.
A prayer, Spoken through dark dreams
we're so young to know what love is now
But others don't see our "why" and "how"
I look at you. I see a nightmare.
I miss you like
a hot Autumn day
misses the sweet
breath of the wind.
I miss you like
a frozen February
misses the warmth
of the hidden sun.
I miss you like
So I flew away
And while I'm gone
I will try to forget.
The happiness that consumed me
Theres a first time for everything.
A first kiss,
A first goodbye
A first broken heart cry.
I miss your seaweed hair, always swimming the wrong way down stream trying to find your oceans.
It's okay to tell the waves inside your head to settle down, but someone please take this hurricane out of my chest.
"You're broken," she stated like he already didn't know.
"Damaged goods," the boy agreed lightly.
She licked her lips and stared.
I miss your smile when I see light, the brightness reminds me of you
The things I see always seem to remind me of you
Your eyes haunt me at night; they follow me, and watch, and never let me go
You are gone, not physically here anymore.
I know this; people do not have to remind me anymore.
I know you left me, I know it happened.
But everyone tells me you are here in my heart.
Funny how we thought live fast and die young would forever stay at the tips of our tongues, as we kissed and commingled with smoke in our lungs, we said it was just fun, what could it hurt, b
I write to the Little Girl in the Future.
In case you have forgotten...
In case you have forgotten the beauty of the swirling passions of the primitive past
Anyone I have ever loved is a ghost I keep alive in my notebookBy feeding them the ink from my ball point pen,And let them sleep between the college ruled lines likeSome sort ofInhumane bunk bed.
As I look into this curved plastic reflection of what seems to be my unrecognizable face, contorted into a swirling ray of colors that bounce back to my eyes and let my brain register them as a faceless being who I'd be ashamed to know, I have to
I feel the atmosphere,
Blanketing my soul;
It is thick and heavy.
Though the sun may shine,
With not a cloud in sight,
All appears to be black.
As I whisper your name,
today's your birthday and Fathers Day
with everything that's happened i know you'd be speechless
it's hard to think of what to say
I feel like since you've been gone our family has been a mess
I never thought I'd hate something as much as you
You take away the good people from the world
You make them want you more then anything or anyone else
Those with hard enough lives you make worse
Dead silence, a loss of air,
Like a heavyweight shot to the gut, TKO.
She had left this world and everyone she loved on it.
I felt my 13-year old world shake and crumble,
Trying to find comfort in my father’s arms.
I get it.
We grow up.
Or maybe we grow out...
We grow out of clothes and shoes,
Maybe we can grow out of friendships.
I didn't want to.
I knitted my heart ten times bigger than I
I wish that I could throw stars
into your eyes
so that you couldn't see Death
looming over us with his velvet
blue cape
and you could scatter that infinite stretch
with constellations
The ocean mirrors midnight sky,
barely brushing our toes.
I whisper words
I want to write beneath your skin,
my violent delight.
I lay by you on the moistened sand,
I traced the line of your jaw,
The slope of your lips,
And each curving eyelash,
Searching,
For the reset button,
That would bring you back to me.
The sun was unforgiving and I wouldn't soon be forgetting
That lack luster look to his face when he talked about the human race
We're all dead he said
I was so sure, yet so afraid.
I was right but also wrong.
My heart so big, but my home so small.
My time so limited by needs to be met and selfish desires.
I dream of being in your arms,
Laying my head across your chest.
I slowly wake up and, half asleep
I can still feel you as you rest.
We're together, just us two
I hug you tight and won't let go,
Hours ago
The sun went down
Making it clear now
It Is Dark
I am cold
MInutes ago
The lIght went out
CausIng me to see
It Is dark
I am cold
Moments ago
A wise author wrote "Pain demands to be felt"
It's inescapable like bullets with no names.
They come so fast and cause so much pain but yet the shooter feels nothing.
L-a-n-g-u-a-g-e Loss
Alyza Garcia
A loss in language has cost me my last goodbye
Lost is my native tongue in the process of assimilation
I feel the sunshine kiss my face like an old friend
Like a coffee shop meeting
After a long time apart.
The warmth brushes past my face in faint traces
Of smiles and laughter and past graces
My demons
Have your face now.
Haunting my existence.
Creeping into my dreams.
My nightmares.
Keeping me awake
Keeping me on edge.
Keeping me your prisoner…
I don't know where to look
or where to go
I am lost without you
You were always there for me
You led me back to my path when I went astray
You fought so hard for so long
but it wasn't enough
Listening to every depressing song on the radio
Praying for stregth to recover from you being gone
My memory is so clear
Life is supposed to be longer
In an instant I watched you disapear
At ten years old,
Little did I know that a hospice was a place to die.
It sounded like hospital.
Just take off the a, the l, the t,
And tack on an extra c and e.
I thought it was another place to get better,
The clock read ten minutes to eleven at night,
night-time already and the day seemed to have leaked away,
away while I was caught up in your beautiful eyes,
eyes that told me to stay, so
stay I did,
Oh to be innocent and untouchable.
To have a mind bright and carefree.
To have love, simple as a swingset
Calm, my thoughts.
Be still, my pounding heart.
Dry, my tears.
We cannot help but part.
Steady, my hands.
Be strong, my soul.
Breathe, my lungs.
One day I'll fill the hole.
When I lay my head in my mother’s lap,
I think how I have never lost a loved one
Who has kept me up thinking about loss,
Or the strange weight of love, or God.
Strange because they would be gone,
Its in times like these that I wish I had you right by me to hold me, comfort me & tell me everything is gonna be okay
one, moment that changed our lives.
as you told me the news
Holding my hand
Two seconds for it to sink in
I let the tears fall
three days before you left
walking away from us leaving
My heart sunk to my feet and I don't think there's enough
blood running through my body for me to even think.
Like a fool, I thought I could store the memories of you hidden in a box
locked away
deep,
Before the fourth of July. I never knew pain so severe. Expecting a few firework shows with enjoyable sound. The bright vivid colors seem to amaze us all and make the little kids go wild. Instead i ended up with the opposite.
Please come save me,
You used to kiss the tears off my face.
Wish you would come and make up the time,
Lost,
Three years have gone by.
Guess it’s time to start living life.
Surrounded by depression,
It could not be forgiven; it had to be a sin.
It didn’t matter if you were all alone
Or misunderstood. Even if you were “out-of-the-zone,”
You think you’ve moved onLike a bird taken flightBut I think of you moreLike a piece of debrisBroken and floating further and further awaySoon I won’t even be able to pull you back
You never hit
Wetness like stripes fall
Drip into regret
You never yelled at me,
Gasping air, the thud of the wall.
Memories are set.
You never lied to me
Alone.
In a dark room I lie
with a single tear pouring out of my eye.
Sad.
Because I'm all alone
and an old friend of mine is off getting stoned.
Weak.
Because I fell back into his arms
We walked aimlessly with direction
happening upon that one perfect moment.
To Rest.
Sizzled mimosa pours freshen
my mind’s thoughts of you
sweet sweet endangered—
Darling, darling, eyes of jewels
Kiss me once, deem me a fool
Lover, lover, kiss of satin
In your embrace, I am a madman
Eternal love given by you
As a beauiful curse to me
I lost that timeworn, white gold wedding band, the one that represented a broken purity that we as humans have destroyed.
I lost my stern father’s posh shutter lens FujiFilm and for a while we lost track of time between then and now.
Addiction consumes us all.
Who will be the next to fall.
Warnings and labels we do not adhear to.
Our minds clouded by a simple desire.
The next fix is iminate.
Those who've fallen become names, upon stone.
As I lay here,
Confused and hurt and lost...
My wonderland, drained from my thoughts.
The day has ended,
And Night clocks in.
The Devil's kingdom has struck again.
Her last words spoken,
He's not around.
I feel empy.
Its cold without him.
He kept me warm. Warmer than jackets and hats and scarves and sweaters...
Its cold without him.
I feel empty.
Empty. More like a car with no gas...
I hated your lectures.
Your constant reproaching.
The way your lips turned upwards
whenever you were boasting.
The way you abused me
with drunken colored words,
my cheeks would sting with a taste
I wish I knew the exact moment,
So I could mark it in my calendar,
And count down the days,
On both hands and feet.
See I've been doing my best,
But I'm running out of appendages,
The ocean waves touch my feet
As I walk along the lonely beach
Hands in my pocket, my head held high
Tears streaming down my face
I am confused most of the time
I feel as if my world tumbles day after day
I don't really know what I want out of this life
I just don't see the point of many things anymore
I believe TIME is just passing me by
Shock sinks in so slow
We wonder at trivialities
Find comfort in memories
Strain to touch the past
Cause that’s all that’s left
That will never fade
Impulsively
We ask
How is it that you took a whole person and then shatter their being?
How is it that you can make me the happiest and the saddest person in the universe?
Three months early
Twins born too small
Doctors wondered
If they'd even live at all
Months went by
From the hospital we were released
The older sister first
Fresh flesh bleeds upon the ancient grounds of history
Flesh that isn't our own
Those chunks of human life belong to our brothers and sisters born to delete the wrong doings of war sickened people.
They fight.
Curly brown hair,
Messy in a wonderful kind of way.
Green eyes, my favorite color.
Tall and lean and oh,
That smile.
That dimpled smile.
That smile that made it all seem alright
As we stand back and watch,
Our chances slip away;
We think that there will always be
Another time, another day.
Woe to thee my bonnie lass!
The ship was lost at sea;
And not a soul was saved,
Not a soul but me.
Though time has passed,
And days are gone,
And nothing is left,
Your memory lives on.
You haunt my dreams;
You changed my life;
You hide in my thoughts
Always present but out of sight.
You were like a gust of wind
That blew through my open heart.
Rushing inwards, out, and on;
You were here and you were gone.
Tock
Tock
Wash your hands.
Remember: paper, lines, game.
Paper: history, English
O.
Did I lock my car?
Memorize your lines
Rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal.
Caught off guard;
Shock held silent grip;
A few sniffles emerged;
Red cups in a fence with a bouquet
Spelling the words
RIP Spez.
For the first time
Teachers sobed openly in front
There's a moment in everyone's life where
a person who they thought would always be there disappears.
It might be because of death, divorce, money or pride,
but for some people it's just the roll of the tide.
At night I feel sad because I lost my mother.
I feel sad because some people have one mother, and I have none.
Some people have two mothers, and that’s okay, but I still feel sad.
Once upon a time, Not to long ago,
There was this beautiful woman.
Only knowing you a short time,
I must say, you had my attention.
When you looked at me,
I was swallowed up in,
The light grows dim;
Darkness surrounds me.
I gasp for breath.
This desperate feeling overwhelms me.
The lush meadow grass,
A bright sunny day.
Palm clasped in yours
Through the fields we'll play.
We can sing and talk,
I'll ask you how you are.
When I was young and you were younger,
We laughed and had a grand old time.
When I was young and you were younger,
We thought we were invincible.
When I was young and you were younger,
Sorrow
The tears well up in my eyes,
One by one they fall,
This is the end
This is it.
I can feel the pain coming,
What is a stereotype?
The god fearing religious girl
Who has an addiction to a razor and suicidal thoughts?
The blond blue eyed cheerleader who has an eating disorder
And a dad that beats her?
If I could change it, I would...
Get rid of bad, and make it all good,
Sell the hatred in the world for love,
Grow wings and fly like the birds above.
If I could change it, I would...
My Hero
(first and last line provided by Bradley Quick)
And no matter how much I tried, the blood dripped down…
"This is the foot of eternity, my friend-
and here on I must go,
but remember now and in the end,
you were my dearest fellow.
For now the dusk has come at last,
a fog atop the sea,
Something about our
inevitable parting
Has made you more irresistible
Has made our
embraces tighter
and longer
Has made this
more heartbreaking
Patience is an elemental virtue,
Even as minds are writhing,
Mingling and beating together,
In a flawlessly mortal cadence,
Our bodies are entwined in a disconcerting dance,
the warm white tide
Your footsteps in the sand,
They’re only temporary,
Soon to fill with seawater,
Flushed orange with the last
Lost rays of shimmering daylight.
#1– O/S:
Your mismatched eyes are so beautiful.
– One of glowing umber, as bright as the fantasy of Neverland,
I'm a pacifist.
But I have been
in my share of battles.
The enemy? Myself.
Merciless self-destruction,
and a murderous mind
Sending bombs of hate,
and landlines of lies.
We started with a "hey"
We ended in "good bye"
You left me on the floor
Pretending I'm fine
But you left me out to dry
And all you had were lies
I think about you everyday
I saw it first
and then you second.
I heard the words
I heard you speak them in anger and maybe even sadness
and I know you never meant them
but I also know that you wouldnt take them back
I have become a nobody,I am on a road to nothingness.This road is made of pills and blades,
I stood there, frozen.
Time seem to stand still,
As I stood there, looking down at you.
Nothing in my life ever prepared me for this.
I distinctly remember the sound,
The sound of the body bag being unzipped.
Never can I forget,
What pain scars my heart.
As the days slug by, neverending
Haunting my mind.
The day of gray
Painted black all around.
Humming in the distance,
Playing my heart
Clear blue skies, starry nights
The brightest star, the biggest constellation
The world shines, forever bright
I am hearing my name, faintly.
The crying, the yelling, getting clearer.
I am coming to, realizing what has happened.
Glass, all over, windshield shattered.
I glance over to Em, mouth moving
I remember our night walks.Heavyset; a lunar peach in the sky to be our only guide.Cobblestone would melt to autumn leaves beneath our feet,As we left the urban jungleTo unveil the secrets of the stars.
Empathy is better than sympathy, sympathy is the back bone in "common courtesy".
However, in this 2014 world, humans seem to deny and reject the love each one deserves.
Skinny legs, a perfect hair is what they to see
A pretty face and perfect body,
The opposite of me.
The pressure to be perfect is slowly closing in.
When, when will all of this come to an end?
You have heard it said so many times
Each time I hear it my determination climbs
Chase your dreams don't let them get away
For if you do in the end you will pay
So go out in the world and make a name for yourself
The rain began in my brain,
Its lightning strikes my heart.
Its torrential downpour
Takes sight away,
Tunnel vision
Wait... Stop... Please?
I beg you to reconsider
You're beginning to fade away
Already one foot in your grave
This life will get you
Pit you in the middle between lions and bears
My Dearest Isabella,
I am dead, but my words will live on.
One day, my book will find you,
In that book, are the pages of my life.
Those pages, represent memories I once had.
The pages contain words,
So far and away,
Unable to touch you,
Unable to feel you,
But in an instant, I Can See You.
I close my eyes and there you are,
Standing there, looking back.
Your eyes, a sea of blue, fixed on me,
I lost it
the simplistic nature of poetry
the words no longer pour from my lips
No longer do my message speaks on the shadows of the soul
Writers block they call it
Though I call it the end
Huddle with me oh lost broken soul.Huddle with your broken brethren.Warm yourself with what I haveand take from me what it is that you need.I will give all that I can.
Literature is as necessary to the mind as oxygen to the body,
Reading helps the brain develop and imagination soar.
Ranging from an ironic drama to a jocular comedy,
Literature has several shapes, sizes and form.
Picking at her bloody wounds
There she hides inside her room
Reliving that awful night
Shes sinking, drowning, drenched in frieght
tears stain her mournful eyes
wishing what she heard were lies
You’re what I yearn for
From the crown to the core
Lusting for you more and more
Your splendor is all I’m seeing
Hey Hey Beautiful
I can't wait for tomorrow to come
Because when tomorrow comes
It'll chase away all of the sorrows
That are keepin' me from lovin' today
So bye bye beautiful
Spying Death,
He moves forward.
Wating for his time,
With welcoming arms.
He continues.
With every step,
A louder breath.
Earth's details grow clearer,
Story of my life.
Dying, dying, dead.
Story of my joy.
Going, going, gone.
Story of my soul.
Mutilating, mutilating, mutilated.
Story of me.
Alone.
Faster than dark, from disillusioned skies
Of sable silk, the stars release their grasp,
Descending into bitter winds that rasp
Against the feathers of a night who flies
Faster than silence born of memories
I can hear you scream my name
from the shoreline of my watery grave
but I can't answer your call
because I'm drowning in the darkness
and I can't see your hand
but even if I could
kicking, screaming
twisting, turning
my heart is broken
and feel like its burning
she was mine
and now is gone
her name was athena
at three months along
For generations all the women in my family have gotten married at 21
So when I was given a water bottle cap with the middle chewed out
To wear on my left hand in the 2nd grade
I ran
Snow fell yesterday
And today leaves the bushes low to the ground
I read to myself his remembrances
Bound in his brother’s handmade book
I can never be certain what made him
So celestial to us
Alone in the chilling void,Feeling emotionless as a metallic droid.Why am I here?Why can't I stop these vast rivers of tears?Never been so afraid, so cold;Yet, I see a fluttering, red light, so vivid and bold.
Beyond the exterior roars confusion
A rhapsody of complete destruction
When a heart and head fight
There’s no fair end in sight
I blame you
I blame you for the whiskey not burning more
I blame you for the weed not making me forget
And for the cuts not bleeding enough
I blame you for the good days and the bad days
i'm going crazy from the inside out
i ache for any help
this battle these scars
hold a secret no one knows
I thought it was a thing but it was just a fling,truely it was games played by a player. Thought I made myself clear about trust being dear.
How does death choose?
Who we lose?
How does it pick them?
Each victim.
I wish it hadn't picked you.
I had no choice as your voice
just faded away,
and day after day
I wait
I sit there and wait as life passes me by
Still wishing that it could all be a joke
Time heals all wounds is a famous lie
You just learn to cope
I'm waiting
I used to sit beside the lake until sunset, then,
Writing about every love I'd ever lost;
Memoirs of a better, worse, different life.
The sound was of a riverflowing out to seaMy tired eyes grew worriedas it all came back to me... I saw a facebut it wasn't enough.
with a tragedy like this,
the heart can't find peace
the days pile on
and you try to move on
no one can understand why
you just have to comply
with a tragedy like this
a lot is amiss
I wasn't exactly fine before you came.But I was still okayand you were youjust a friend of a friend.Then our hands brushedand my cheeks set a flame.
I try and I try and try, still nothing. I put my heart into everything, still nothing, I spent my whole live searching for the good in my life, still nothing, I try to be nice and generous to everyone I meet, still nothing.
I try and I try and try, still nothing. I put my heart into everything, still nothing, I spent my whole live searching for the good in my life, still nothing, I try to be nice and generous to everyone I meet, still nothing.
miles drag on while my eyes lower and fall,
the stars begin to sprinkle the sky,
nothing seems familiar at all,
yet this path has watched me cry,
I frown at the memories,
because even the better ones are over,
There sat a boy in class with me,
with red Beats that hung around his neck,
he'd never take notes in class,
Jacob, I'm sorry I have never gotten to see you.
I'm sorry that I was never able to hold you.
Never able to play with you.
She tried lipstick for the first time—
Mommy’s lipstick, red smeared from ear to ear.
Her grin—those six tiny freckles she inherited from you—
those teeth, with the gap, you keep saying should have braces
I'm crying in my crib and I reach to feel your warmth that radiates the most when I need it.
Mom Come pick me up.
Times were hard from the day of my birth.
I have a father who didn’t know my worth.
While I was being born he stole from my mother. Was high as a kite chilling with his brother.
My heart hurts because I've been missing you so much.
I know I can never get you back
Because,you're Gone
I cry next to your ashened body
I hug the box with my life
NEVER wanting to let go
Whose destination is love.
YOU and you and You are my definitions.
I’ve learned that I’m just in love with a concept.
Life doesn’t work that way.
I want the best of all;
I always end up with
I listen to what happened todayThey say that you have passed awayI can't believe it, no, not youThis cannot ever be trueCorpse Killer, special forces, died today
My fingers have froze the tips are bleeding a gentle stream of flowing red blood. Everything I love is slowly fading away or frozen in time within my mind.
Our eyes meet,
Just a glance.
Yet the butterflies
Continue to dance.
Hands touch,
Just a second
Yet my heart
Still feels beckoned.
Just a crush,
Just a crush.
I haven't forgotten.
Alive in my dreams you are,
There, just waiting for me.
My Friends hands welcoming me,
But unable to grasp.
Memories of you locked away
With the loss of you.
I'm scared no one will love me the way that you had. You always listened whole-heartedly and never thought the bad. I was able to be myself and open my hea
Sunshine will burstthrough my ribcageand illuminate the skywith a warm yellow lightthat will pourover your skinduring yourcoldest winters.Daffodils will sprout from myeye sockets
Maple Story
The maple leafs fluttering on the autumn wind,
The shifting colors of the midday sun reflected in the pools below.
I can barely see them now; these are moments lost in the annals of time.
Standing still was not an option
You wanted to keep climbing, so we kept climbing.
You knew that I had your back
And we were in love so we both knew that.
But why didn’t you call?
One morning I woke to the sound of my Family's despair, and I ready myself for the day ahead and descend down my aunt's stairs. Why me? I asked myself sorrowfully.
Today I wrote his name in the sandBut the waves came and washed it away.Again I wrote it with a second hand;But the tide crept back, to make my love his prey.
An applicative memory
draped limply on a coat hanger
Wrap it around my shoulders and move on
I forget it’s there until I remember
When no other words are processing
I remember.
A smile whispers upon your lipsA rare sight I can only glimpseHolding fast to days gone byI feel it all beginning to dieNo more shall I feel your kissOr look into eyes filled with bliss
Wake up, it’s a normal day. Go to work, the normal way.
Down the street and into a building, up the elevator and down into a chair.
Typing words and drinking coffee, I hear a man telling how he got mad at his kids the other day.
It came upon me like a shadow
and the whispers that followed said,
"Delirium -- thank God." Thank God:
it was only delirium. No;
it wasn't.
It was the music –
AS Christmas gets closer I'm reminded you're not with us :( No matter how many years it's been, it doesn't hurt any less :( I'm as happy as I've ever been but I'm not complete, I'm missing my first born son <3 How much I want u hear n wish I co
This is another story that I often think about:
the story of the team
after the car crash that ended the life of one of their own
fleeing to the dark library and grieving over a death far too early;
It'll just be a Tuesday.A Tuesday, normal to most.Just another day on the calendar. It'll be just another day of the week.
For a friend I've since lost, this was his challenge to me: "Write me a poem in five minutes. Free verse, but I like rhymes. I dare you to make it fit me to a T, make it totally and completely me." And so, I did.
She glances at the clock,
As it flashes eleven twelve.
She sighs once again,
As she places another notebook on the shelf.
Through another clover patch,
She searches for a wish.
Her efforts to no avail,
Emotions held in,
Tight, but pinned,
Tears want to fall,
But can't be seen, at all.
The balloons held in our hands,
The memories, they dance,
Let go, the balloons fly,
I got up this morning, curled my hair.
On a Sunday! I wish it were for church.
But I can’t begin to tell of the despair,
The loss, the sad, or the hurt.
My heart is split into two
Between I can continue and the other I would be shunned
Cast out,
A pariah.
I don't have the callus for such ignorant human beings.
We thought of you again today,
Reminded of the pain.
I think about you everyday,
As tears fall like rain.
I'll often feel an emptiness,
From somewhere deep within,
It's not the same with you gone.
First love is the hardest
you fall hard and fast.
Loss of love and leaving the lost,
now your first love is in the past.
Falling fast, falling quick
Its not the urge to jump, but to fall
"Well, there's Miss Beautiful," as I approach the porch step
Another cherished day - for a horrid illness crept
Bold brown eyes, with a happy, gentle smile
Every last second was ultimately worth while
It’s late and all I can think about is you.
Why did you do it?
Why did you let such horrible people change you?
Who am I to judge you for doing it?
How can I act like I'm mad at you?
I am a bird that’s been dumped in a zoo
brightly colored, where everyone can see
an attraction, fluttering and new
A life given, a life taken from me
Your marks on me,
like smudges on glass,
from a nose and a pair of lips -
yours pressed to mine.
I wipe at the pane,
and wipe at the pain.
Those smudges remain,
Filled with rapture and glee,
You were chosen among several;
And now this is your departure from me,
You leaving was only inevitable.
The nature of your leave was filled with sadness.
The memories are scattered,
But are they really memories?
How am I to know they are not just,
Stories made from photos:
That time we got bunnies and they were soft,
And they scared me.
You held me in your arms and told me
It would be okay. It’s not.
Its been a year since I saw you last.
I always know how long it’s been.
A year seems like an eternity
I know that you can feel me softly breathe,But with each breath my heart beats fainter still,And though, my love, it's you I'd never leave,I know that it's my time and that I will.
I noticed you leave as it rained yesterdayWiping the last of your paw prints awayI joined with the sky as the heavy drops fellNow my windshield is bare and my heart is as wellI got home from school and waited for you
December 24, 2012
Everything changed,
My heart and my love found a place they could call home.
A place where the words I love you and I miss you would hold sentimental value
Two lovers find one another
They believe they cannot live without each other
Suddenly, along comes a decision
No subtraction or division
Just addition of two souls
Months later one feels a hole
I was on a stroll, when I took a glimpse
Of a garden in a man’s home.
Petals, leaves, vines were behind the fences
Fragrances, shaped, colors invaded my senses,
As a little child,
I remembered him simply
as a wrinkly old man.
Gentle, caring and very loving.
My quiet and meek grandfather
who lived in the mountains
with his family.
A mountain man.
Buses, desks, chairs, pencils, papers flying every where.
Another school day is regretfully here.
As the instructor calls roll and the morning bell goes a tolling,
Every Phone Call was another heart beat skipped
Just another thought my mind has to process
My heart just kept growing more and more muscle to dig deeper
Your hearts entwined,
Your lives combined,
You live for each other.
From each pair of eyes,
I see the look of intense delight.
On the surface, and underneath,
You're the perfect couple,
A girl holding a picture frame covered in beads.100 beads for 100 days.A time to celebrate.Children laughingRunning aroundLearning;Growing. Something has changed,The smile is gone.
Ruby red trips called her lips
contort in pain and sadness
she sees the light leaving his eyes, the fight no longer in his favor
As memories of their past clouds her mind
clarity is miles away on vacation
Where it Lies
And here in this poem is where it lies
With hope and longing torn apart
My pain and torture shown through my demise
Be free like you should beOnly 16.I won't hold you back any longerIn the mess I'm used toThe abuse I've gone through.
I inhale embers and spit fire. You're fireproof. Wishing in vain you'd be engulfed by the pyre. You're fireproof. Say it ain't so that when the lights turn low the fire doesn't light the room.
Her eyes glistened from the tears
Spilling down her face.
She is forced to confront her fears,
Move against her own pace.
She lost him too soon,
Against her own will.
We look up and see nothing but sky
Blue, Bright, Clear
The galaxy beyond is a dream within a dream
A world eclipsed in light
As we climb towards the edge of the overwhelming darkness
You take your first breaths together, the start of forever, but the past is all I see.
I stare into your eyes and find nothing but lies. The same lies you fed me?
I like you? I want you.
I love you? I lust you.
You've gone away.
Never to return to me.
But why is it that everywhere I go,
Everywhere I look its your face I see?
Grandma, did you really have to leave?
Then I was only a Freshman,
In the beginning,
I ran.
Hard and fast,
Quick and light,
Like lightning.
I took a bus.
Drove away,
In the dark of the night
I face my window with open eyes
I hesitate to bring back happy thoughts
Despite being trapped where the fear lies
My memories bring neither peace nor comfort
She lost all sense of love
As she still weeps from the memories.
When she lost her womanhood
In a whirlwind of helplessness and blood.
I am fire
Blind rage attacking a blank page
I started as a small flame
Campers slowly added branches, paper, and pollution
I became too large to contain
I am fire
It's likeSandInside your handsEventually it will slip out
Know nowI'm with you somehowNo matter where you go
It's like sandIn the beachUncountableA number out of reach
Young lady, young man
With open minds ready to explore.
Ready to find fundamentally sound doctrine
Along with life and all its mysteries.
Pull up a chair quick and sit
Registration ends soon.
I want to scream at the top of my lungsAnd to cry until the streets floodI just want to reach out and grab you by the wrist to stop you from leaving I want you to hold me tightly
armsinside mine.encircling me.holding me.protecting me, No,roasting marshmallows under the fireAgain, againthey burn, they breakthey disappear.they cannot, with, stand the heat
Forethought to Audience: Each stanza contains at least one symbol of an unfortunate circumstance that has occurred in my life. If a person has changed, their past doesn’t portray who they are. Rather it shows others how strong they are.
On some of the days,
you are the best thing that ever happened to me.
On some of the days,
you are the living nightmare incarnate.
On some of the days,
you are the friend I’ve always wanted.
Sometimes
I think it'd be easier if you had died
Not because I want you dead,
Not because I hate you,
But because then maybe I'd have a reason.
I'd have a reason to avoid everyone you ever spoke to
Yes Sergeant, yes. I’ll do your bidding.
Take your orders and dress to your fitting.
Wield my weapon to protect my nation.
Yet, know in my heart there’s no relation.
Take my hand again.It misses you, so much.It's lonely here withoutyou to share my tea.There's nothing to see.
I write you this letter as I lay belly-down on the now very faded hammock in our backyard. The same hammock you and I would lay on for hours telling stories and sharing secrets.
I see her,Her hair like golden wheat right before harvest.Her eyes like pools, whose depths can never be reached.
Two brown eyes,
Socks on all four.
The love I give,
I wish I could give more.
A mirror image of your dad,
All I can say, Is I love you Fiona.
Bull Terrier to some,
A daughter to me.
A life lived without regret,
Is a life not lived at all.
To live is to lose things,
Never to have lost, Well
Is never to have really lived.
The soul of a man is not hindered by regret,
My body is aching
My hands are shaking
My legs are getting weak
Knowing an uphill battle is what you seek
Stranded, Abandoned, with no place to turn
Imminent attack on me is what I learn
Horror is an empty word
Loss, Bereavement
Terror, Desperation
Torment
all are such empty words
There are no words
not in English, Arabic
Greek, or German
to describe
It was the coward's way out, he knew. He could feel it rolling around in his gut like a stupidly cheerful puppy.
pitter-patter like little feetraindrops tapping on mine pane
bitter burns hiss and slitherremembrance dismantles my sane
moist summers and eerie chimesfingertips lost within your mane
Time ticks slowly, almost like my heart with out you
Just like the Moon, has to be away from the Sun,
I have to be away from you.
Every once in awhile you visit me in my dreams
Life is funny in an ironic way
Hate the one that loves you
Love the one that hates you
Don't
Know what you have
Till its gone
All in an instant it
Can be gone before you even had a chance to
I saw a man enter Heaven once;
His last breath was Hallelujah
The priest showered blessings
Upon him,
In the hopes that His Lord,
Would receive him
Peacefully.
He did.
I once saw