Choices
Here we are
You across from me
You’re back is all that I see
And she’s holding the trophy
The mistakes I have made are my own
The choices I made are my pain
The irony that follows,
The choices were made to end my pain
Instead they caused more
I ignored all the warnings you gave
And she watched, learning my weakness
She lured me in and i fell for it
Her lure trapped me in the cycle
She knew what would happen
You’d told her it all
And I fell right into her hand
It was a game I didn’t realize was being played
I should have listened when you said run
I should have listened when you said stop
You warned me of the path I’m on
Said it’s not too late for me
But it was never about the path for me
I was already an addict in a different sense
It wasn’t drugs or sex or pain that I sought
It was your presence
It brought a comfort my soul had never know
It brought peace
It could calm any panic I had
And I still can’t tell you why
Obsession doesn’t do that
I know how I seem
Naive and pathetic
Can’t seem to let go
But you don’t know that I tried
That I fought to get away
That I searched to find someone else
It never worked
It can’t be obsession
Not when every fiber says to let go
To give up
To move on
But the voice in my head goes against my heart
I’ve never been fond of rollercoasters
And here I am stuck on one that won’t stop looping
You leave
Then come back
Never do I really know where I’m at
Where I stand
Where to go
With every step you take away from me
My inner darkness grows
The light in my tunnel goes farther away
Surrounded by razors and ice
I searched out to be numb
But I went too far
Now I’m freezer burnt and frozen
Two options remain
Turn back and numb to the point of death
Or keep fighting for my light and my sunshine
But now I must choose without my light by my side