I wake up with a smile on my face.

Innocent bliss.

I have not come to the realization

that she is gone.

In my head everything is great,

everything is right in the world.

I think about laughter and smiles

and that witch laugh that would

pierce the air with unexpected

giddiness.

 

I wake up with thoughts

not realizing they have become just

dreams.

 

I stand up, stretch out,

rub at my eyes,

and push the sleepiness

out of my young body.

I start to get ready

when I see it.

My reflection in the mirror.

I stand straight, startled by

my tear stained cheeks.

 

There will be no need to get ready

and head out.

I have no need to rush.

No one is waiting for my laughter,

my help,

my existence.

There is no one at the hospital

to visit anymore.

It’s then that the smile leaves my face;

and my eyes darken

as I remember last night

that my heart breaks again.

Where is that innocent bliss?