I Remember

Mon, 05/27/2013 - 23:40 -- bwood94


United States
37° 39' 25.758" N, 121° 28' 6.492" W

Some days it’s so easy to forget; it’s like it never happened.

Other days, it’s impossible to ignore; I wish it never happened.

I thought I could leave it all behind, but it keeps catching up to me,

like a dog that you tell to “stay”, but follows you anyway.

The scars you left are not physical. You didn’t leave a scratch.

But on the inside, if you could see, my heart is cracked.

My mind is tormented by the shadows you left creeping there.

I try to push them out, by telling them I’m not scared.

But right now I cannot deny, the ache I feel inside.

That night, so long ago it seems, flashes before my eyes.

It’s a nightmare on repeat, like a sad song with no end.

Just when you think it’s over, it starts to play again.

I hear myself asking you to stop. I feel my heart pounding in my chest.

I feel your body pressed against mine. The shock and fear steal my breath away.

I remember searching for the words that would make it stop.

I remember being so scared that I couldn’t say a word.

I remember wishing I could hurt you because of all the pain you caused.

I remember reassuring you that it was okay, I wasn’t mad. It wasn’t rape.

I remember crying alone behind locked doors.

I remember thinking, “Oh God, why did this happen? Is this punishment for being bad?”

I remember everything. I wish I could forget.

I wish I could have stopped you. I wish that you had quit.

Now I have to live with the memory of it all.

And every time I see you, I remember what you did.

But I forgave you anyway.

Because you’re my best friend.


Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.


If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741