my eyes stretch the horizon...

the cigarette burns quicker as I drag the smoke deeper in my lungs

 

I ponder the events of this week

my wanderings, where are you?

What happened to you?

 

Is this why all these years my eyes scanned the crowd and found you naught

 

Here I lean against a filthy dirty business beige wall

my god Have I sunk so low?

those aimless hopes for my life evaporated

 

Waiting waiting waiting

the wife is getting off work soon, I wait for her

but my mind is upon you

 

so long ago and you still haunt me...

when I die will I haunt you?

The mountains look inviting there on the horizon...

 

I breathe deeply and stifle a  cough

my fingers twitch as the cigarette burns closer to the filter

damn things.. they will be the death of me...

 

yet will you be also 

the nagging feeling

 

I lost something precious

I lost something that was worth fighting for...

Now I have accepted life as a status quo...

 

once long ago I thought of higher things, brighter things

now I live from one drive to another marked by waiting, working or feeding my face

 

where are you?

will I ever know?

 

life is a dirty job, in this dusty town

people pass by me, in and out the glass doors

Minds set upon getting gas, beer or cigs

 

the wife likes the motion, activity

but all I see is degradation, empty work and not any single reward

She does not ask for much and so I do not either

 

but somewhere I feel like I missed something in my life

something more....

 

I must be content, I will be content...

even if someday's I wonder what happened to you...