Why is it so hard to realize

when someone has perished,

that she is gone?

I know that she is gone but it doesn't feel real.

I can feel her all around me.

In every room I feel her prescence,

I can hear her wheezing when she's trying to breathe.

When I go to her favorite place, 

I see her sitting there

Her head is down, she is staring at the floor.

Her back is bent, her whole body isbshaking.

I say "Hello" to her.

She looks up and smiles.

Then I realize that she isn't there.

I wish she were 

Even though we argued so many times.

She's gone.

How I wish it were me instead of her

Who had to go.