Gains and Growing Pains
Step one
Look up to your brother he's in your corner
And has a back when you've got none, don't let him down
Be a big sister
A little bossy over protective she'll understand
Just yank on her hand
The fighting won't stand but
Ma how do I make her listen and be nicer to me I'm her friend?
Step two
You're a little bit bigger they're all prettier
Why not try hitting her, she called you fat and you want to sit with her?
It's your hair that's longer
Your smile that's stronger
Well tell me Dad, am I really that bad? I ponder
While the boys pick me for kickball, not cuz I'm tall,
But my legs channel the hate from my eyes to the mirror with my face
and they know I'll do anything to be the only girl in their space
To feel important
Step three
Don’t stare
Flip your hair, Not like that! Is he looking?
God I wish I was over there. That’s his girlfriend? Seriously, that?!
Her hair’s prettier, she’s not fat.
I give it two weeks, three at most,
That’s facts.
You’re too black, they aren’t into that
What they want has racks, macks, and gives touchdowns to quarterbacks.
Is it worth the starving curl straightening the partying
the well rested tested virgin that everyone knows is staying pure
and she’s pretty okay for a black person
Step four
He’ll catch you if you fall, let him in your secret place
Let him paint your walls.
He really likes you, a lot though the lot of them can spot
The acid on his tongue, the high gets you
All, Caught, Up,
Till it foams on the walls burning holes and you call and you think it’s too much? But
For him not at all when he lets you down easy
Crashing a crystal ball making you get down to lick the glass
His words in your tongue like gashes
Your fault but the words don’t bleed just clot
And he/they draw an aim so
HERE’S THE GUN JUST TAKE YOUR SHOT
Step five
Contemplate why your alive why you survived,
Or not
A disease with blood sweet, they ask
Why’d you throw away your shot?
Not all that fight monsters need replace their treachery
My mirror’s my friend, I am not the enemy
This mind of mine? It’is heavenly
Taking this brittle fragile child
And gave her an identity
Gave an oath to make her teacher the pain
Step six
Tell the story
Your loss, my gain