Gains and Growing Pains

Step one

Look up to your brother he's in your corner

And has a back when you've got none, don't let him down

Be a big sister                                                                                     

A little bossy over protective she'll understand

Just yank on her hand

The fighting won't stand but

Ma how do I make her listen and be nicer to me I'm her friend?

 

Step two

You're a little bit bigger they're all prettier

Why not try hitting her, she called you fat and you want to sit with her?

It's your hair that's longer

Your smile that's stronger

Well tell me Dad, am I really that bad? I ponder

While the boys pick me for kickball, not cuz I'm tall,

But my legs channel the hate from my eyes to the mirror with my face

and they know I'll do anything to be the only girl in their space

To feel important

 

Step three

Don’t stare

Flip your hair, Not like that! Is he looking?

God I wish I was over there. That’s his girlfriend? Seriously, that?!

Her hair’s prettier, she’s not fat.

I give it two weeks, three at most,

That’s facts.

You’re too black, they aren’t into that

What they want has racks, macks, and gives touchdowns to quarterbacks.

Is it worth the starving curl straightening the partying

the well rested tested virgin that everyone knows is staying pure

and she’s pretty okay for a black person

 

Step four

He’ll catch you if you fall, let him in your secret place

Let him paint your walls.

He really likes you, a lot though the lot of them can spot

The acid on his tongue, the high gets you

All, Caught, Up,

Till it foams on the walls burning holes and you call and you think it’s too much? But

For him not at all when he lets you down easy

Crashing a crystal ball making you get down to lick the glass

His words in your tongue like gashes

Your fault but the words don’t bleed just clot

And he/they draw an aim so

HERE’S THE GUN JUST TAKE YOUR SHOT

 

Step five

Contemplate why your alive why you survived,

Or not

A disease with blood sweet, they ask

Why’d you throw away your shot?

Not all that fight monsters need replace their treachery

My mirror’s my friend, I am not the enemy

This mind of mine? It’is heavenly

Taking this brittle fragile child

And gave her an identity

Gave an oath to make her teacher the pain

 

Step six

Tell the story

Your loss, my gain

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
My community
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741