I'm almost lost

No longer can I see 

The road ahead of me 

Back tracking, Slipping back into

Who I used to be

Wondering, Aimlessly

Uncertainty it swallows me

Engulfs me, surrounds me

Then my mind reminds me that

This present is a gift

My past is in the past

This pain will pass

The pastor preaches so

I give the church my last 

To fund a religion I halfway believe in 

I shake the deacon's - hand

And then I shake my head 

Shouldn't need a reason to say things aren't so bad 

I'm breathing...

So I hold my breath, until I'm almost blue

***

I think of me. I think of you

Until I'm almost blue

I think of love. I think of loss

Until I'm almost blue

I think of life. I think of death

Until I'm almost blue

I think of egyptians and aliens and the creator that made us 

I think of oceans and rivers and lakes and even every raindrop

Until I'm almost blue

The sun, the moon, Earth rotating on it's axis

The asses who sit on their ass and judge us

My father and my mother

Music, poetry, sex it's all art

This composition and pencil that help depict my heart

Writing cause I can't stop. Not even when I'm blue

Still holding my breath until the day these days are through