Thu, 02/08/2018 - 22:33 -- jhaddad

To my Dad, my best friend,

I can’t even pretend that all this happened,

I just want to bend and contort until my body says no-

My mind is full of what if's, maybe's, and so’s.

No one understands the choice made, but I hear your voice, that won't go away.


I wanna say thanks for giving my imagination wings to fly. Those troubling nights when I couldn’t sleep, your stories of the little princess would sing to my soul, even before you could reveal that her name was Jihan.


I wanna say thanks for your wit.

The way you used your words had so many uses.

They could embarrass me, comfort me, mock me, or justs put a simple smile on my face.

A man of wits.


I wanna say thanks for loving your family.


I wanna say thanks for being my father.

Starting from that day when I wrapped my tiny hand around your thumb,

the decision was made and my heart was won.


I wanna say thanks for being my support.

People laugh and say theatre this and theatre that,

but you knew theatre is what made my heart go pitter-pat,

made my blood rush, made my brain race. You understood.

My listener, my supporter, my beautiful author of words too perfect for every situation.


I wanna say thanks for getting up early everyday, to pay for my education,

for the roof over my head, for the precious food I would lift to my mouth.

I wanna say thanks for taking the beatings for this family. Every slap, lash, crash, bang, boom, bam, punch, hit after hit, but you never quit. Not even for a tiny sit.

But you kept my soul lit with a fire and desire to live. You inspire me.


I wanna say thanks for loving my mom.

I wanna make someone laugh the way you make her laugh.

I want to care so deeply for someone, the way you care for her.

Oh, I see it they way you say “It’s gonna be okay” “We’re gonna make it through”

“I will find a way” or a simple “I love you”.


And thanks for loving me.

A diva, a brat. But you toned that down extremely fast.

Those talks we would have are priceless to me.

Going fishing, building our ranch, racing our Harley’s.

I’m gonna build us that house, Dad. Just wait and see.

The last day I saw you, I told you “I’m going to buy you a house in the country. The house you've only dreamt of.” I keep my promises, just like you. I’m going to get you that beat-up Ford pick-up, and I’m going to drive it around with you sitting next to me in the front seat so you can enjoy the heaps and heaps of beautiful dirt that we call mountains.


I’m going to work harder and harder for you.

And someday I’ll be at that podium, “And I wanna thank you, and you, and you”

It will be glorious, and empowering to anyone who has a dream.

I won my Oscar, but I kept the one I already had.

And he’s been my strength, my motivation, inspiration.

And he’s been with me all along, and he always will be.

I love you Daddy.   


This poem is about: 
My family
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 



This was originally a spoken poem that served as the eulogy when my father passed. His death was caused by suicide, and I wanted to undermine the stigma around it by painting a picture of my dad's characteristics and the kind of man he was. Mental health is a serious issue all around the world, and the stigma around it needs to be broken. My father was an incredible human, and the way he died doesn't make him any less of a person. His name was Oscar.

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