mental health

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I stood there.  In the stillness of the nights embrace.  The gentle breeze kissed my cheek.  I was a lost soul standing at the edge.  Standing on the edge.
I stand on the bank on the other side And look back to where I started Before I crossed the raging currents I feel a great sense of relief The flailing in the water,
I don't wanna feel this wayGod, take this pleaseIt's like a heavy black cloud has settled on meA weight on my shoulders that I just can't liftEvery decision I make feels wrongAlways second guessing
Your effort towards Me finally sunk in. I think. I get it. I get what it is that You were trying to bring out. And I'm putting it together now.
If my mother truly knew best,  then why is it that my father is here and not her?   You keep telling me that I should trust in my mother,  BUT the second I do, it gets thrown back in my face, ten-fold.
Waves We talked about wanting to go to the ocean to scream at it.  Our voices getting swallowed up by the waves.  Maybe we still will.  For now, though, our tears are waves enough, 
Chasm It is so cruel how the world keeps on turning. The sun dares to make its way out from the clouds. The birds mock, the kids play. The flowers bloom, the wind blows. How is it not all weeping?
Ever So We lost him three months ago. It's impossible that this much time has passed, but impossible things seem to keep happening with unrelenting ease. Impossible things used to seem exciting.
Walls Watching the sun dance on the walls that encased my childhood   The walls that have heard the laughter and joy of a little girl who's memories all come back to this place. With its chipped baseboards
A Plea Any moment stumbling past that isn't blanketed in a stifling heat I find myself scurrying to peel back my curtains, and open my windows Cracking the doors, begging the wind to blow through  
I sleep only to stay awake My dreams so vivid, that my deep slumber goes to waste I dream of awful things Of shaking and jerking uncontrollably, endlessly
I sleep only to stay awake My dreams so vivid, that my deep slumber goes to waste I dream of awful things Of shaking and jerking uncontrollably, endlessly
i can crack the mirror in a blink of an eye no blood, i wonder how i changed it so quickly, i wish i had time   this hair, it isn’t mine,
Sharp , rope hot, flashing streetlights, deeper hung deeper wires, red and blue stinging hot of ocean water dripping down in sticky red
i'm on the floor, my thighs and wrists are now filled with scars. tears are rolling down my face. blood dripping from my skin. my eyes can't seem to focus properly. suddenly, i get a message, it's from you.
College Is always a prominent weight on my shoulders Is a monster hiding under my bed waiting…    waiting…     waiting.  
College Is always a prominent weight on my shoulders Is a monster hiding under my bed waiting…    waiting…     waiting.  
College Is always a prominent weight on my shoulders Is a monster hiding under my bed waiting…    waiting…     waiting.  
Upon the place fate set aside,  there will be no forget-me-nots. There will be no roses adored in gold, nor any violets or honeysuckle. Cursed is this fate, holding onto the limbs of destiny.
It started with a plastic castle from Fisher-Price. With little plastic knights, and a wizard, and a dragon, and a princess. Us boys would play with it for hours. Greg would always be the black knight who saved the day.
Fat That’s what they call me As if I didn’t already know As if the doctors hadn’t already given me the heartbreaking diagnosis Again and again and again Fat So yes I am fat And yes I am tall
Another year older Another day colder The heat went out again this year, Almost like a tradition I’m single again Almost certainly a tradition And the pipes have burst
Depression is like a record player With a new record every week and it’s always scratched Right at the saddest chorus With all the saddest chords Those who never pleased the lord
Breaking the cycleAnxiety’s grip on meThe power within     Note:
who dwells with us in the unseen standing over as we sleep?  in the mirror, someone not us yet too familar; staring deep, dissecting our sins with icy precision. we are its vision of a world less dark,
Plagued with walls of doubtMy mind begins to frayMy thoughts beg to strayAnd it all spills out
Fraught with doubtRunning into walls created by myselfEntering doors, that shouldn’t beNever taking words as factZaniness wins over reasonInto the void I goEntering doubtfulness
Anxiety reignsBut it is normal in lifeStress won't finish me You should feel no shamebeing scared is part of lifejust don't let them win
I’m in the vast desert, calling for help every chance I get, but nobody can hear you when you’re in the desert.   I’m nearly dying from the heat, dehydrated,
I, will never meet your expectations I, will always be a disappointment in someone else's eye I, will never truly be me I, will always walk in your footprints 
You know I've been thinking a lot about life this crazy life that we all live, some days I look at life and say why because so many bad things happen to such good people but then there's days like today when I look into the eyes of my s
My mind swirls as I sit in my room filled with colors  I am a gray blob in this room of life Blue dropping onto soft gray sheets Silver in my hands
When I was a teen I had a rat. A white dumbo rat, with red eyes, who was blind. Her name was Fresno, like the California nightcrawlers she bore resemblance to.   
When you grow up like I did, you will scavenge for love like you’ll starve without the scraps.    You’ll carve mold off the edges and ignore the bitter taste between your teeth.  
Once I was young. Once I was happy. Once I was innocent. Once I wasn't a teenager. Once I wasn't sad. Once I wasn't dirty minded. But now. I am a teenager. I am sad. I am dirty minded.
I’m really proud of the person I’m becoming. I’m constantly advocating for my rights! Even in situations where I should just keep quiet… My grades are really good right now!
My paranoia recently has been so bad, it's making me go insane. Or maybe I’m just faking it all. See, that was a funny joke! Or was it…
Manipulations runs through my son's veins At an early age the disease caught him After the divorce we were stuck with a curse He had an addiction to making me suffer Getting his way was the only option we had
I wake upI feel in my bones it’s not the right timeIt’s been 15 hours since I fell asleepI close my eyes I wake upMy body aches and my hands are icyIt’s been 7 hours since I fell asleepI sit up
I spent last night googling birds that sing in the morning, to give myself something to wake up for. Tricking myself into believing I’d even be awake by then. Because the truth is I am not ok
I feel like I can’t speak. Sometimes I wish I couldn’t speak at all. All it does is ruin things. If I spoke now, everything would change.
Start acting like you’re okay This pain will never go away   Don’t let them really see The monster that you’ve grown to be  
The loud noisein my eyesin my mindRoaring and growling The noise won’t stopIt haunts and tricks medriving me to the edgeof insanity. Over and overWhat if?What if?What if?
I'm just tired. Not the kind that sleep can cure. Tired of being let down. Tired of faking happiness. Tired of being sad. Tired of waking up and feeling like I'm worthless. Tired of trying.
Você não é ninguém Como eu não sou ninguém Você é alguém Como eu sou alguém Há uma humanidade
Freedom is a scarce commodityRunning into open armsEvery time you close your eyesEvery time I say I love you. Anytime you need someoneThere is always a place for you in my heart.
Les roses, les fleurs et les bouquets L’amour, l’honneur, le respect et la paix Les vers, les poèmes et la littérature
The madness came fastand with it also came tearsblood and sweat and tears.
life is always changing  and sometimes it can feel like chaos when you have to divide yourself  into pieces to get your shit done   
Fear closing in all around me trapping me in a box   The world keeps spinning though keeps on spinning I can't stop yet I can't keep up either. Everything's wrong...
The silence of twilight Never seemed so intense. The old lady whistled Through her bloodstained lips, Grinning at the cup Placed near her husband. The aroma was his addiction But now the coffee
Hoping for this feeling to pass Some moments I feel happy Some moments I feel sad "Wait it out, maybe it will go away" The feelings build up While eating me away
It's funny how the brain works, Suddenly reminding me of the abuse I unconsciously tried to forget. Leaving me alone with the feelings of guilt and regret.
This body that no longer feels safe With a heart that carries great ache Your dirty hands make me sick The thought makes me shake This body no longer feels mine My body dirty and disgusting
The unbearable pain, it hurts more than anything. Physical pain can be temporary. This pain is in your memories. Unless you can forget. It will always remain
This could be the darkest poem I will ever write So I will make it a short one So now it could be the darkest short poem I will ever write And maybe it already is so let’s start with the light
Having depression is weird Because you can be at the lowest point of your life So sad that your arms can’t move So sad that your eyes wont stay open So sad that every sky is a grey sky
It is hard for others to truly understand just how I really feel. Even though I may look fine from the outside, inside I am fighting something very real.
Thoughts run wild  Is this normal I’m still a child It’s constant  It’s never ending  It’s utterly excruciating  Thoughts of suicide  Fill my mind  Should I stay 
It took 10 years to teach myself how to breathe again How to live without pretending that’s what I was doing To stop allowing myself to die quietly As to not inconvenience the neighbors
Y'ALL! I presented this poem in 2017 at a talent show and got a standing ovation. If that isn't skills, I don't know what is. Anyways - thought I lost it, then I found it! Please enjoy.  
I want to be able to press pause I want to make it all stop, only for a little while I want to sleep for ten days, I want to get sick of my bed, I want to bury myself in blankets Instead of dirt.
Insecurities.   I hate myself.   I hate the way I look.   I hate my face;   My jaw.
Always fighting.
Don't make us become displaced. Never make us feel misplaced. that would be a disgrace. Trauma and tragedy, no one should have to face.   Fun games ,not war. Say no to gore.
Someone told me once that we only see stars when they’re dying As if death was the most memorable thing about them And it makes me wonder.   You know depression is an empty space A universe of no life
Do it You’re worthless Do it No one cares Do it You have nothing left Do it.  
It’s so easy to get lost To get comfortable in the act In the game of pretend Of being something you’re not Perhaps because it’s safer Or because you are afraid of the monster behind the mask
[TW: SUBTLE ALLUSION TO SELF HARMING] I'm not writing, I'm carving into this paper like it was stone. I'm carving, I'm doing it on this paper so I don't do it all over my body, All over my whole self.
Why do I feel like I'm being held at gunpoint Every second of my life? My parents are threatening to pull the trigger if I don't perform to their expectations in school.
I'm Rapunzel and I've just cut my hair off. It meant freedom at the beginning, But now I can see I'm still trapped. How am I supposed to get down now? Hayley Williams said "burry the castle",
I am not evil,just very ill. Staring at the window sill. Too afraid to look up, From the cup   The glittering velvet night, The street lamps are bright. People enjoying delights,
Depression is a drag queen She sashays across the floor Covered in sparkles and makeup So you almost forget. You almost forget how alone you feel How the bar is empty
We are not ailens,please give us a chance. Everyone is entitled to song and dance, Even a holiday to France. Something for all to enjoy.   Dreams do come true,right on cue.
Feeling like I'm tired of living Feeling like I'll never fully heal No one taught me how to deal With all the anger and sadness I feel Sometimes I can't deal with my own madness Wishing you could see
The heat wasn't working in my apartment today Which normally would be just fine Because see I like it a little cold A little cold is just fine you see But it wasn't just a little cold
[TRIGGERING WARNING: SUBTLE IMPLICATION OF SUICIDAL IDEAS] Unfitted for society, What will I do? I know nobody is fitted for this shit But you cope with it, don't you? Unprepared to earn a living,
There is something that weighs on my chest Every night as I go to bed, I have no way to distinguish What I want, what I can ask for, and what I need. There is something that aches in my chest
  There are all sorts of people around us,who will be harshly judged. They will be called cruel names, we need a stop to this game. A change in the world ,is what we need to see.
[NOTE: I'm a non-binary person, my pronouns are they/them. At the beggining of the poem, I talk about the period of time I considered myself a girl. When I start speaking in first personand I talk about "they" I'm talking about myself.
Depression  I know you all too well Sticking by my side like glue  Ever since I was out of the womb Faking a smile for all to see
Sunny Days  Ice cream  Long bike rides. Giggles ringing through the air. It was fun. A time of simplicity where worries were few and far between. 
Most days I am able to smile through the pain.  Push through tough obstacles with unshakeable positivity. Telling all the demons of my past that they are wrong.  
Happiness to me is like a warm chest filled with honey, nutmeg, and love. It dances barefoot through fields of grass without a care in the world, and a smile so bright.
I am a warrior. A warrior of blood and bone. A warrior of heart and tears. A warrior. A warrior who cries so many tears that she competes with rivers.
the urges come and go, i miss you through some days i let you flow, even though i know, i'm not allowed to do so.
when the ray hits you it reminds you of life not of the current but of life at its source   it brings up the issues from inside your bones and beneath your skin interrupting hibernation
if you have stayed longer than expected you are one among many     for all acquaintances grown attached unintentionally rally     if you’ve seen my light
pressure is physical reality is suffocating pain becomes reality mentally im breaking i sleep thirteen hours just numbing my brain pick out a smile entertain for a while
“Don’t stop.” “You deserve this” “You should just do it” That’s what kept replaying in her head over and over. As she was reopening old cuts.
Sit down with me, There is something I want you to see This empty canvas, It look as if it will always be empty.   With the sound of my erratic screams, It fills
I remember  I remember when I could just eat Eat because I was hungry Eat because I just wanted to Because that cookie just looked delicious  Taking a bite and feel happy Yeah, I remember   
Too much built up and boiled over,  Triggered by cold front each first is worst yearly, I die. Too much  built up and boiled over, Triggered by the noise upstairs
Through a tunnel their's always light at the end.
Don't worry There's no need It's mild.   I have no need to scrub my skin raw No need to compulsively arrange objects in a specific order I do not quadruple-check windows, doors, the stove, my car
I used to be afraid of monsters Lurking ‘neath my bed But, no one ever told me ‘Bout the monsters in my head   Night lights and my teddy bears All kept those beasts at bay
stupidley hanging my head in shame  finding out i lost a contest i never entered  crying into my pillow at night  screaming at those who love me  zoning out in class falling in love with selfish hounds 
I've learned to eat cold pizza I've learned to eat mushrooms and sun-dried tomatoes, and I no longer eat all the individual parts of my salad separately Something I never thought possible  
I feel like water, Always desperately flowing down the path of least resistance - But where I find myself now there is no path; High stone walls on every side, A solid, smooth basin
All it needs is a simple number  To trigger the pain It awakes from its slumber  It takes over my brain   To trigger the pain
Almost everything about me makes me feel crazyMy depressionCrazyMe doing my hair once a monthCrazyLoving someone I talk to off and onCrazy.  
I am never the one to call it quits I am the one that quietly sits There and takes the hits  Working hard to throw my hints
I try so fucking hard  to hold onto hope.  When everything is  slipping out of my grasp,  And it feels like my world is  drowning in ink.    I try too fucking hard  to hold onto hope. 
It marches in boldly, Adulation no retraction. No holds barred, Wrong reaction. It invades you forces you, Sour taste makes you spit. Turning your thoughts into a thick soup of shit.
I recall EVERYTHING!   The airbag only burst when I hit the tree in the bush. He wouldn’t have died had he not jumped off the bike.   
Why is our youth becoming angels?   I’m losing them left and right, This is an urgent fight, To have a future that’s bright,
Dear hopeless I of my past, I could say it wouldn't last But there is a storm on every horizon you see Yet one future day you will wake and find yourself as me I know how hard it had been
Pain is like snow. You look up— And no matter how hard you squint, You can't quite see where it's coming from. From time to time it may stop,  But in reality, It's rushing at you, All at once.
They always told me "You write too much" So, I stopped. At the dinner table, They'd silence me  With their glaring eyes. And all I could do was painfully smile
Mundane Life has lost its luster Like diamonds that refused to shine Drab It's perpetually raining in my head And I hate being so soaking wet Dreary Everything is gray and sullen and broken
young man, you owe me your innocence forget the dull waving of the wisteria vine.  you look at me,  animal, crying for the reason of man. 
Excuse me, I beg your pardon,I'm just here growing in my garden.Like everything, I come from a seed,So please don't call me a pesky weed.
Despite all the mirrors I've walked past, I could never see myself When my finger touched the reflection,  Printless marks left the glass A fragment of unimportant dust The loudest whisper you never heard
Why do I feel  this way? Why do I always give you the benefit of the doubt and never cut myself the same slack?  words        spew and 
tock continues to tick and takes this train hostage; loops, speeds, nearly tips the conductor hangs with one hand  Gripping the footplate for dear life, 
Once upon a time I stopped talking, I actually also stopped walking I would stutter, ‘cause my mouth would feel wrong I would stumble, ‘cause my legs would feel numb
Frost encumbered yet sitting in the sun the green grass glows.   Beautiful to the world but look inside, its heart froze.
Everything's so loud How do I drown it all out?  Drown out all the emotions  All the pilling school work Drown out the yelling parents Everything Drown out everything
drop pen to paper the writing’s done this masterpiece complete the realization of your work chills you head to feet
In the dead of the night When no one is near My misery flows freely And I'm just wishing Wishing someone would hear
in biology class     we learned that everything in the body is constantly in motion because stagnation fosters disease   i went home
Covid won't get us, we live all the way in Alaska. They've shut down travel. There won't be a battle.   We’ll be back in school before you know it,
An apple a day to keep me healthy you say, Just make sure its organic,  And have two a day. You only said one,  
Hey, I'm sure, I'm sure when you say that you're not fine a million will rise to show you sympathy with their corporate smiles and pretty white lies
I’m held together By loose stitches and bindings Inside I crumble  
You were born a little later than me and the other, Your personality truly sticks out from the rest. Yet despite the fact you're my baby brother, You to understand this has to be addressed.
Oh I don’t know,  it’s four past midnight here. I do believe that cheese is best served at Three.
Peter Piper Picked a Pair of Pills to Pop Just to see what they’d do to him He Popped a cocktail stocked with Adderall, Buspar, Benzos and Zoloft-
Oh my sweet boy You who were once my morningstar Far away and too far gone Lost amidst the endless sea Drowning you with each crushing wave
flower. peaceful, beautiful, useless   you must perch in the wind, dance in the rain, withstand the cold, & stay still in the soil.   but flower.
Alone everything pulled inside of me. Surrounds me within me. Unable.
The idea of you is everything that I want, but a want is not a need. A want is a happiness that only lasts for a moment.  A moment that only lasts hours, minutes or seconds. It is never considered to be long lasting. 
sometimes i hurt so much, physical pain from a mental enemy sometimes i don't want to be alive, tears trailing and flooding life   truth is, once it's introduced itself it never really leaves
Rocking back and forth Waves crash and rain pounds He is asleep in the cabin, unwoken Alone, sea churns hammering the sturn Tangled ropes of the sail & rigging
Most of the time, I live in the light.
no one talks about how it itches. it burns it stings it stains theres little streaks of shame  on the back of my pillow case as if I could hide it  when its that close to my brain.
Deja Vuvu, I'm alone and you're out doing you.  Only difference is that there are no tears being shed over the absence of you.  Heart numb from repeating the same things needed, but dismissed. 
I frown and adjust my crown. My spirit shattered, but made no sound. Counting my blessings, but my soul is down. A sadness so deep, so profound. Losing weight by the minute, I'm already down 80 pounds.  
This is the story of a young boy And the bullies who fought agaist him They kicked, punched, broke his toys Until one of them met a bitter end   He was walking to his school the long way
It's been a while now   I used to cut and cry and repeat   But now I finally know    How that battle can be beat        
Mental lives in my head No.  Mental is my head?  Irrelevant.  Mental makes life hard when life is easy, Makes overthinking the normal,
You are the greatest secret kept from yourself. It is in hiding your Light that you become lost. It is in resisting the moment,
    unjigsaw me. unmix my mind. unmake my mess.    but still, be kind.    
i met my depression for coffee i wanted to know what I had done to earn her apathy "why?" i asked but she sat in silence, watching the rain drops slide down the roof tears pricked my eyes
Life will be good And I'll be free From the hurt and the pain That had a hold over me   Won't push people away
How to die without dying:   Learn something new  change your name  change your wardrobe  give  take  cut strings 
Everyone’s screaming just out of sync,  everyone’s begging for someone  to please  be proud,  please,  tell me I’m worth loving, 
An internal betrayal, sure  Anger, sadness, hopelessness An eternal spiral of these emotions I boil over Once again
beauty is perpetually imperative to my existence.   i pride myself on the fact that i can view even the ugliest things as breathtaking and groundbreaking,  
  Some find it hard choosing between heart and head, even when the perpetrators don’t deserve
The wind will tell the story Of my disappearance.. Of our sweet memories You will remember me Will you be able to smile then?
TRIGGER WARNING :: mentions of suicide ::   I think to myself  ‘This feels like drowning,’ As my tears fill my bathtub. This feels like dying, as my tears tie themselves around my neck.
The void is made of silvery, satin silk A beautifully fabricated lie  There's no place for time to fly  There's no voice  It is calm and it is no place to rejoice  The void is like the sound of static 
They tell me not to worry, They said. Oh! You’ll be fine. They tell me it's just hormones, But they don't feel me cross the line. They don't hear my crazy thinking, They don't see my sleepless nights.
to turn back  
I need help. They say there are good days and bad days. But how can you tell the difference when you don’t even know what day it is?
Let's connect to reality; turn off the electricity, lie in the silence that invades us. I'll hear you for lack of the other sounds that made us bearable, one to the other.
My soul echoes praises, In the most inopportune of times.   At a sneezing in my  face, In the checkout lines.   Praise is a compulsion, From my grateful heart to the divine.  
Picture (Im)perfect   Mind blurred like a camera lens  With no clarity left to picture   Tried to wipe away all the painful memories
Little Boats    Your name etched into my skin  Watching it all sink in Blood flowing like a river along the divots in my arm  
S- Suicide. I’m sitting in the bathtub. The cuts on my arms have already started to clot,  but not before staining the blinding white. 
   Snap-crackle-and-pop go the synapses in my brain.      Snap-crackle-pop           Snap-crackle... pop?   Uhmm... Jaysus, sorry. I forgot what I was saying.   It's this long term memory
Decorative Shiny Locked Away Too Delicate To Use But Look How Pretty It Is In Your China Cabinet But How Often Do You Look In Your Own China Cabinet?
I don’t want to die today Not today Today I woke up on time  to make it to class Today I baked a cake Licked the icing off my finger tips
  I have to go see someone. This is a visit that will not be fun. A result of battles never won. I have to go see someone.  
Im too far into my own feelings to see how ridiculous I'm being. Im too selfish and angry to be happy for another person I'm too hurt and still mourning over the death of us, because you don't care to learn what makes me ME
To the woman who gave me life, Im sorry. To the woman who sat in the emergency room while I had my stomach pumped, I'm sorry. To the woman who had to visit ward after ward, year after year, Im sorry.
Beat down... stayed posted up to the crowd As if I had an opportunity to make it this round This boxing match between myself, my confidence on the ground A couple hits to my side and I can't get around
You said I wouldn't last. You told me I didn't understand. You appeared to hate me. I was honestly scared. You made judgements about me based on all the others who said they wanted to "help."
I trip into an endless empty. The darkness’ welcoming hug gets a little tight, Squeeze out my last breath.
Ravaging emotions run deep in my mind Thoughtless trauma runs my life Begging for some relief from the outside Praying for a life of simplicity
Painted white on a canvas of skin, Just noticeable through the sleeve, A single tear in the human flesh, With which I want to grieve. It tells a story of bloodshed and tears,
My future has been planned for me, and I must follow blindly.  Will I seize my freedom with force, or walk the easy course? It's easy to accept my fate,  but I'll carry the weight
The flower grows  In the soil.  It sprouts from the ground.  In swoops the farmer  To pluck it out.  It is a weed. 
A picture with no shadows in itHas all too much to hide.Pompous, plushy, prickly colorsWherein no truth resides.  
i descend in my seat, waiting for the lesson to begin looking around, all I see is desert a desert so dry and empty yet so full of people i may never see again 
I lay at night with a cluster of feeling and thoughts in my head.I've spent thousands of nights alone wondering if there was an end I've been high and I've been low, in look out for the so called light at the end of the tunnel
No one is coming to rescue us. It’s a hard truth to trust. Surely there must be a hero?   But there is none. It is only us versus them.
floating above myself watching me watch myself
my mind is an airplane      when is it going to land? searching in the sky for life's biggest question      when is it going to end?
the fog will fade away and turn darkness into light
behind my eyes there is a person longing for connection with the body they are in
the cause of this is like stars bursting in the night impoding to escape from reality stuck in a natural galaxy
When hope seems to be utterly lost When failing becomes what happens most When full of sorrow and perpetual pain We come to infer that hope is main  So we manage to work extremely hard
When hope seems to be utterly lost When failing becomes what happens most When full of sorrow and perpetual pain We come to infer that hope is main  So we manage to work extremely hard
this body a gift from god i cut it open through the ribbons through the paper through the tape one for the boy
burnt bridges led my way they led the way to you i could see their fire in your eyes you came from another path of ashes and pain we came together
i take off my shirt, turn my back to the mirror and look at all of the scars- taking a knife to my back seems to be everyone’s favorite hobby,
i am sorry i let you  stain your hands  in my dark places i am sorry i watched you ignore the orange signs “danger ahead”
every night i go to bed shaking the tremors rip through my body shaking hands, shaking hearts i pull pillows to my chest and i press down as hard as i can
full disclosure i think about you more often then i would like to i think about you when i see little things certain flowers remind me of your smile
he lies awake all fucking night until the stars disappear from the black blue sky damn he’s like deathly high
i want to write about happy things so i find myself thinking of your lips i find myself hoping that tonight i’ll finally get to kiss you- at least in my dreams
you weren’t the one and that pill is sharper than the edge of the gold and black knife you gave me over a year ago. you weren’t the one
tell me who broke your heart i am a master at stitching up wounds a master at emotional first aid let me heal you with hopeful words and kept promises
I’m ripping my brain out Piece by piece Cutting it into little squares I’ll serve you our memories On a silver fucking tray I’ll feed them to you,
they tell me “you don’t want to die” after i tell them how badly i want to die no, i do want to die i want to sleep myself
i can drown myself  in alcohol it never really helps at all no matter how much shit i inhale through my nose
I felt their eyes, piercing through me with gazes as sharp as knives.Drip.I listened to their sweet lies, releasing the bitter poison that they implanted into the depths of my throat.Drop.I saw the sudden bursts of raw emotion, introducing me to t
Seeing weary, sad, hearing weepy, mad touching wrinkled, old, feeling present, bold. Hoping I helped in some small way Make a difference in  someone's day.  
A leech on my brain you bellow in the background and call out my name You're the harbinger of tears the continuous cycle of unsolicited fears
Depression.  I'm trapped, I can't get out of bed, I don't have any motivation. Why am I like this?  I never chose this, I just want to feel happy. "Don't forget to take your meds" they all say.
Boxes piled high Stacked so carefully Yet so unsteadily One touch and they tumble The contents spill I pick them up Unhealthy state can't comprehend I project Can't put them away
Why I wonder As the sun warms my face A quiet cold day Where I feel a semblance of grace   Why I wonder Did he send me away? Now it wasn't his fault I knew that, anyway.
And he saw  The light in my eyes, He saw I was trying, I was holding on tight. Once I felt freedom,  Now I feel too much.
do you have moments, where you can’t imagine a future?you’re lying there, staring at thesame wallssame ceilingssame wordswith nothing but the same feelings-empty and pale,
calm down they say  you are fine they say   Stop. Stop feeling this way  and you will be okay but how?  How do I stop my brain    from spiraling out of control
My head likes to raise scary possibilities and questions, Elaborate thoughts and vague suggestions. Needs no cause, no prompting or reason, They speed up so fast that there's no chance to ease them.
Its hard when your biggest enemy is your own reflection Its hard when you hate yourself for craving protection For someone to relieve you of the constant low Someone to remove the fear of rejection
 Your skin, Paler than a jug of farm fresh milk.    Your lips, Dryer than a drought in Death Valley.    Your nose, More crooked than Hillary Rodham Clinton.    Your hair, Rougher than ‘98 Compton California.    Your eyes, Deader than roadkill on I
  I find when my head is filled with impenetrable dread, And clouds of grey and deep blues hover above my head, That what floats within my mind’s eye and what is seen ahead,
  I find when my head is filled with impenetrable dread, And clouds of grey and deep blues hover above my head, That what floats within my mind’s eye and what is seen ahead,
I was a witch the day I succumbed to the fire. The woman--a traitor, I thought at the time--tricked me into boarding the mysterious carriage;
Dear father who may have a beard of sword, I wasn’t born to be different, or kind, I wasn’t born to believe that I would have the life you never let me have made by the fire in my eyes.
Some days are nothing but black Fighting a battle in endless fog Seeing nothing, hearing only pitiful static   Some days are nothing but black Nights bring emptiness, fading wordlessly to fog
In my dreams I am an eagle- I soar through the sky My wing’s edges catch the cloud’s edges Water collects on my feathers And the world stares up
What have I learned  from my mental illnesses? I have learned that there are people 
Beauty is The freckles forming constellations On our bodies Thus proving We come from the stars   Beauty is
I was walking Then a bird from the gardens whispered a sin that has been kept a secret deep down Somewhere to be profound
Today I’m talking about the experience of growing It’s hard. Learning to evolve. Learning to be strong But I am vital. I am loved. And today, I am glowing.
The raised back of retracted scribbles On any worn out page, reminds me of my old scars- Embarrasing and unerased.
  She has a smile even the stars can’t outshine But if you look in her eyes, she’s breaking inside She walk around with confidence, her chin always up
   How is college? She asks, I laugh I quit Her eyebrows Drawn together, concerned Are you eating? I sip my black coffee Chew my lip The skin of which
Memories created are stored in the colors of sky and sea, grass and kitchen counter. Feelings of music and pain are stored in the apple-scented air and sweet breeze of the place I used to be.
On a night where the stars greet thousands of miles just to lift your head and the earth shifts to meet the steady shuffle of feet with her soft grass bed,
Buck teeth and bright eyes I was eight years old, I spent my days out on the playground all alone in the cold right by the fence where I would watch traffic behind the monkey bars
All of the thoughts in my head act as fog, clarity becoming unknown to me. Anxiety grasps its slimy fingers around my neck whispering (lies) to me. I'm hopeless. Helpless. Alone.
Housekeeping   I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with closets. On one hand it’s been a safe spot wasn’t it?  A haven to escape to when I was afraid,
Tell me why my grip on my purpose always slips. Sometimes it gets too much and I don't know how to handle it.
Once upon a time There was a girl and When left alone in her head She found a knife.   Once upon a time a girl with a knife cut patterns into her arms Because as the blood ran
The fact that I have hands  Alarms me.  Large rounded fingertips turn into broad soft fingers which  blends into soft palm. 
1, 2, 3 All Eyes On Me: is what our teacher used to say, to keep the childrens eyes on her any time off the day, are adolescent minds are so easy to sway, so here we are and here we must stay.
My anxiety comes with its own background music; DUN DUN DUN. It marks itself present with bitten nails and  peeled skin around it. And that's when my  nightmares begin.
this is an ocean i am not prepared for i am trying to hang on grasping at things and people that float by but they grab back at me driving me deeper into the murky waters where i do not want to go.
being unable to disagree,because you're a bad person if you do   missing the person you love,even though they just went to bed   mood shifts without warning,all because someone said something wrong
How messed up is it that we live in a world  Where blue is for boys and pink is for girls   Where it’s better for men to have a gun than a doll
there are always those songs,that you listen to when you’re sad,because they sum up how you feel entirely it feels like they wrote it for you,about your existence
My face, is just a face, You can’t say you know me  after just one glimpse.   My face, is just a face, The smile I wear 
This thing, it bothers me shakes my entire being it is neverending poison   I have absolutely no idea how to deal with it it breathes inside of me tears away all rational thought
“Take a look in the mirror, What do you see?”   I look and my mind whispers, ‘Athlete?” But I’m just a bit too soft, 
I am here! Or am I not? I remember the first time I attempted The girls up front went on To me they made it seem like a joke
You fucked up You know that you did We'll ruin you for it Shit, we already did We want nothing to do with you Nothing, we're through with you
Press you down And run you along. Your pointed sharp end, Draws a line on my skin. Dull pain leaves, Revealing only a faint, Raised pink line. Not enough, Not what I wanted.  
Have you ever been so scared that you looked deep into your past and saw the things which couldn’t last as reality slips your grasp.
I tried to be hopeful I looked to the bright side but what do you do when the light looks right back at you with disgust? I have to keep going I shouldn't give up but wait--- Where did everybody go?
I feel addiction grasping me, It has been for years,  Always in different forms.                                         I cannot handle that.    I want to die, Not to leave, 
Alone, suffering, Our hero's minds left to rot, Mental health: forgot.
It was upon those rocky shores On top of the craggy rock Overlooking the tumultuous shore Of water rushing onto the sand And swiping at the blood there
My name, Thanatos, resides on all their minds.  Death personified right into its living and breathing form, finds itself in a graveyard as a gravedigger, greatly confined.
home a house separated by nature walls on all sides no sidewalks no neighborhood kids no one to hear you yell
I can finally say That I am smiling like an idiotic, Idiot at a screen. My electronics finally know my happiness; And it's shining through, Straight though their body.
The droning of the engine reverberatesDawn draws to a close and eyes dilateAs the stop and go cycle but replicates
My train is always speeding; thundering down the track at full speed.  It heads nowhere in particular. Whenever it stops to unload a thousand passengers, a thousand more board.  Most are unwelcome.
Hot water deeper than the length of my hand. Three false candles illuminate the darkness. Like a dealer with cards Pandora shuffles.
Who is this beauty I see in the darkness? She is my reflection but calls me a different name. My lost eyes hold a desperate call for help, The moon is my soul The darkness is my comfort 
Oh how greatly I hate the winter days So long, and cold, and void of all ardor It makes me feel so numb, so very dazed My feelings in disarray and disorder 
Have you ever wondered  Where all that it's rained? All at the same time And how many people that's pained? Flood gates open Right over the heads
Today was like every other day It was so terribly long   and so terribly dreary   I fear these feelings will never end I’ll always feel so dark   feel so hopeless  
Therein, residing in my mind, is a monster so evil, dark and unkind. Thoughts racing, telling me that I’m hideous. Yelling and screaming to rip off my face; because I look ridiculous.
Why does it feel like this? I fee like time is moving forward so fast and I’m barely keeping up. Going through the motions, day by day, week by week. Monday mornings to Sunday nights, seven days full of struggles.
Healing  you can make progress  it will take time  much like this rhyme  it will be much like riding a bike  at first it will be hard  you will think your not going very far
Do you remember that time at that place with those people? How could I forget? Omg that was the best! I totally miss it! Remember that time that you were crying in the bathroom and I pretended I didn’t hear you? Oh yeah!
Birds sing and children sing. Time passes by, as I wait here to die. This mortal flesh turns to dust. Enjoy life we must. But how can I? When I wish to end this suffering. All this pain that goes unseen. Laying beneath the stary sky.
Pull me into your depths.  I feel your cold hands reaching around my neck.  I can’t wait to go. I need to go   I’ve had enough of this tired fucking world. 
Dear Diary, It’s around 10 o’clock  The night is cold  And the moon is standing out, oh so bold
I live in a world where everybody lies I live in a world where if you do anything you get despised I live in a world where I do everything alone And I've made it this far so look how fast I've grown  
When I was 2 my sister was born and I was no longer a baby. When I was 4 my brother was born and by then I could change a diaper. At 8 people always said how mature and grown up I was, what a help, a second set of hands.
What am I doing here? Where am I? Who am I ? Looking at a pair of eyes in where they stare back at me in the mirror  The look she gives me She daunts me with her smile 
is looking down at the stupid cute eyes of a kid wide with admiration and knowing that you have to live up to the  cool big kid you are in their eyes.   Growing up
summer - fall the sand sifted through crevices in my toes while the soft breeze lifted my salty hair  the symphony in my head played while my golden fingers whispered and swam -through the air outside my car window
all i feel are blue emotions   in my head everything's a commotion   where everything is in high speed motion   and i'm trapped in my being    every piece of me crippling   
First year and whole new places                               Yet so incredibly alone                                             
I can’t stand these dreams anymore. First, they started as simple nightmares. Now they control my days and my nights. I’m exhausted all while awake, but then dread falling asleep knowing ill be restless and tortured again.
My depression is like a sweater. Sometimes too big of my problems. But sometimes too tight, where  I find myself grasping for air. No one else can wear it, even if they ask to borrow it.
There are times I wish it would always be the middle of the night. Everything is calm, still and you can hear everything beyond your door if you listen well.
growing up the antonym of easythe symptoms hit meand everything changed   I am still the samebut in some ways I amdifferent  
it started when i was little.   no one believes me, but   i remember.   i remember  the first moment i wasn't able to breathe, the first time i thought about death, 
Days grow longer, nights colder; Everything seems to change. Yet, there’s still me- I’m unchanging. Same face, same clothes, same friends, same creation.
Days grow longer, nights colder; Everything seems to change. Yet, there’s still me- I’m unchanging. Same face, same clothes, same friends, same creation.
I try to spend the night with someone new I’m on a repeat, always with you All of the flames, yours Is the guilt required when I’m out of all doors I can feel your presence in my fingers
All I want to do is be quite,A place in nowhere where I want to hide.Let it be rainy, the weather is calmLet this place be the one where others can come.
Me, Myself and I. Everyday, I wake and try One step at a time. Everyday, I wake and cry One time, I was small And carefree, lovely, and kind I was just... Me, Myself and I.
***Trigger Warning***   “Boys will be boys” “Let bygones be bygones” “Forget about it” “Get over it.”
She doesn’t know how it feels to awake every morning, and wonder why she had even awoken.   She doesn’t know how it feels to pick up all her scattered pieces
Depression is a black cloud That hangs over my head And follows me everywhere I’ve tried to run I’ve tried to self medicate I’ve tried talking it out I’ve tried crying till my tears dry up
I just want to be left alone To wallow in my own misery of self-hatred I don’t want others to feel my pain Or my negative talk and actions I just want to go to bed And stay there with the door closed
Talk to me about depression And what it feels like to be lost and hopeless Where loneliness exceeds all expectations Where darkness is smelled and tasted and felt Around you like a very wet heavy blanket
You would think after dating someone for a whole year that you would know what to get them for your one year anniversary.  365 days of talking almost every day and I still sometimes forget the simple things 
from helping hands, and kind hearts, came a cautious question:      what happened to you? but how could i explain the assault on my brain?   dying  eyes stare vacant
Balance I go to the city to gain the knowledge and grab the tools. I deepen my practice and learn the rules.   In the city is where the people are.  Where the jobs are, 
The Journey   Sometimes life feels so hard and heavy Maybe even sad. It happens... Maybe you take a drive to the top of a mountain - and get out and breathe in the air that
I remember picking dandelions as a kid gathering a bouquet to bring to my teacher or mom the innocence behind it I didn't know that these beautiful flowers were actually
I used to look in the mirror and I used to see something gross and stupid   I used to ignore my friends and family because I thought I wasn't worth their time   I used to give up
“Hello old friend”   I say with a grin on my face As I stare away blankly towards space.   It’s been a while since we first met.
Crying, crying, crying. Looking straight at the barren white wall. My roommate was nowhere to be found, So I knew I could let it all out.   But why, why, why Was I crying so damn much?
For as long as I can remember, I've always had this void in my life.
There’s something in the water  Just below the surface  Every time I look away it glimmers.  A gentle splash  Lapping of water on the hull of my leaky boat.
Mission Control cannot be reached. and unfortunately there has been a breach out into the atmosphere goes my Mind Hopefully it will not be hard to find
As we grow As we change The years blend into one And we add a number to our age.   When we were once young We reached for bright colors Our style has dulled Now we reach for each other
 I see Brian's head cracking against the concrete and his chest halt, his brawny frame taking its last breath on the asphalt. I see the boy whose name I cannot rip from my lips with a gun to his head, and the trigger he grips paints the wall red. 
Memory erasing Mindlessly awaking Walking through a dream I'm making Slap me in the face Untie me where it chafes Release me from this dream I want to be awake Take me from my home
Self Love, Set me free, Set me free of the person I used to be Mental abuse can alter your mind to think the worse of you, but you are POWERFUL, its true     Nobody can be a better you than, you
Each time that my mind was finally ready to end it all, I stood on the end of a bridge, ready to jump. It always seemed like it would be quick and cheap. The pain would end before I had a chance to even register it.
Becoming   “Wow, you never ask for help You’re mature beyond your years” under all that calmness My body’s full of tears  
My outside appearance shows nothing of me.  I am not what you see,  for I am not even human.  I am a soul  trapped inside this body,  screaming for help. I'm constantly being attacked 
  Punch, punch, punch. Make it a very deep hue, This is something you need to go through.   Cut, cut, cut.
Maybe you should just try to let them in Try to let them see that you're hurting, that you're hurt by his words. He damaged her beyond repair yet here she is... brOKen.  I'm okay she says, I'm fine seriously.
I’m having conversations with myself That I’m too scared to say out loud to others Afraid of sounding desperate for attention I’ve learned my lesson from playing with fire
It's been too long since I wrote an actual poem. Phrases, lyrics, verses, whatever they're called, they just don't come to me like they use to anymore. Burdens, mistakes, curses, whatever my excuse is,
you must do what you need to do to be authentic.   the discovery of your true self includes connecting the dots   it means digging deep into the archives of childhood, 
I'm spring cleaning, not joyously, not lazily, but almost in grief.
A Cat and a Change   Constant scrutiny and miscommunication. The silent critic made life unbearable. Home was ripped away again,
Puzzle Pieces   The connection here is lost, unruly and static. Trying desperately to make it work, like putting puzzle pieces in the wrong place.
In Dying Her body sank into the depths and embraced the sun.  
Weeping Small watery beads fall like tiny diamonds. Glittering as the sunlight sprouts from their surfaces in prismatic tints.
Constantly surrounded by weeds weeds of doubt and depression they slowly consumed my nourishment for them to win is for me to lose My life  
Growing up can be tough It can also be carefree Though my best friend had it rough And growing up happened early on for me   She tried to end it all Then she spent some time away
And I ask myself every time, why I keep running back to you   Countless times, although you've given me nothing   Why I turn back   To stare at you in the rearview mirror of my mind
A broken soldier in the quiet night dying to take back the light head high in a losing fight  to hide from those who know   with each swing, a child died not just his, but the one inside
I’m so..sad All my life I’ve never been satisfied With me Abuse and control seizing my quiet soul I couldn’t let go   Rest ripped from me  I fought fathers for a lifetime
today was pretty easay, but today is not tonight. at night is when it can get hard. last nigt and the night before... oh boy the night before last. my thoughts were the darkest that i think they've ever been.
Unborn and already A path has been chosen By those that are not them - To become another cog In the inescapable machine that is society.  
If you’re like me, You can’t count your dreams on one hand, Always lost in something, But never settling for anything Or leaping at any one demand.  
what they do not tell you about being in the hospital is the waiting waiting in your room waiting at the tables waiting in group for people to finish describing the colors of the monsters that are devouring their soul
  I see you smile.  And I smile back.  We all laugh at the same dumb joke, A feeling I had forgotten.  It almost wasn’t recognizable. 
Life is shit; Life ain’t fair I don’t even fucking care Grab a drink; pop a pill Pray to god that this will kill Heart Is beating; trouble breathing I am sweating and I’m freezing
I thought you were doing fine, I didn’t know what was wrong, I thought you'd push through it, that you were invincibly strong, As a friend I should have supported you, helped you along the way,
16, Afraid of what might happen.Like the crew of a ship whose captainHas never sailed beforeTo unfamiliar shore.  
It was fleeting, Never around. I searched, Lost, not to be found.   Map in hand, Advice in mind. I tried it all,
I saw the world through disoriented shades, followed along with everyones schemes. The world felt like a playgroud, saw the moon and sun unite in my dreams. Once I removed my rose-colored glasses,
I saw the world through disoriented shades, followed along with everyones schemes. The world felt like a playgroud, saw the moon and sun unite in my dreams. Once I removed my rose-colored glasses,
i've done it. okay? i've done a lot. i've laughed till i peed myself, cried until my throat was sore, figured myself out so i wouldn't have to
Examining her surroundings, as if they are a creation on a screen. It’s a lively scene but the music and talking is dulled, like she’s caged by an unseen barrier. Cast in the role of spectator,
There are so many things I find I'm forced to remember. Sloppy drawings of sleepy Buddha in the back of a rotting notebook. Cake crossing my eager ears, as I jam my hip beneath the stair-rail,
Sweep to the center of the room, My brain, the state I live in, All the junk; collect it in a pile, And sweep it out the front door.  
I'm a grown-up now.  And I do grown-up things. Like pay my taxes, cry at night, And wear engagement rings.   And I'm a grown-up now. So I only watch the news, I drown unfamiliar feelings,
A split second is all it takes, for everything to change whilst everything stays the same. The surroundings have remained constant but the perception has glitched.
  I’m a fighter, not a lover. Love is unknown, because all I ever known was violence. I lost love and he rests, six feet under.
Don’t know where this road goes  But I know we’re growing apart  Day by day  I fell asleep with two sheets below me  And I woke cold    Don’t stop rubbing that thumbtack on my arm 
They watch me Like predators hunting prey They approach me In an intimidating way They scare me With the meaningless words that they say.
I've been waitin' I've been prayin' I've been playin' the same old song for So long   All this livin' I've been missin' I've been listenin' to the same old song for So long  
  4 A:M  Wide awake.Again Confused and lonely, but not alone Wondering about life
look around and ask yourself,Is the person next to me sad?Could they be experiencing something negative?I’m so tired of the taboo around not feeling happy,I’m tired of only seeing people nod or sigh,
I’m not supposed to write this poem It’s embarrassing - on many levels, for many people
It feels increasingly difficult to remember our centre.The part that should dictate our lives more than our brain,The part that is one of the easiest to lose sight of,
Waxy lips, Purple ‘n thick Rear view, A devious kick Sing-song giggles, A soft purse Stomach churning, A biological curse   “How do I look baby?” “Pretty mom,” I say
When I see xy+5 = y I see college algebra I know it's easy But my head spins round and round I feel like I'll pass out and probably die   From graphs to quadratics 
  This is an ode to the boys who have hurt me. I will not talk about the ones who came before the ninth grade,
How do you write something happy that's also good?   My efforts always seem to fall short when I attempt to write about how the sun feels on my skin, because that skin contains scars
My mind is a desert, dry and barren. Any chance of hope in simply a mirage.   My mind is an ocean, calm on the surface but crashing waves in the deep end. My feelings drifting away and drowning.
Jack of all trades, yet  master of none Is it better to have multiple people? more places to go but nowhere to reside As I wake up,I sift through myself
I’m not really sure how to start here So I guess I’ll start with something like Hi My name is Jaime
I’m not really sure how to start here So I guess I’ll start with something like Hi My name is Jaime
By myself, I am so calm, But, in a group Hot sweat lingers on my palms. My heart begins to pound, I begin breathing shorter and faster I feel the anxiety all around.
  There’s no lost and found at my school. Not one that works, not in any school that I’ve been All the lost items go straight in the bin  
Thoughts No Worries Worries zip across my mind Anxious Nervous Stressed Breathe
I am high and low I wonder who I really am I hear myself saying I’m alright I see a struggle I don’t know if i can pass I want for my friends not to have to worry
I gazed at the ocean, just to see your face. Shift the tides with a smile, the definition of grace, Do even you know what's behind the mask you where? Or are you a victim of your own existential dispair?  
Hands raised in a manilla classroom Walls plain, littered with 20th-century posters Faces unamused, drifting into unconsciousness
In an insane mans dreams His problems seem to run away but when its time to start a new day THEY come to haunt him again Say hello to your demons   Many times he'd be doing fine
Our world, separated by darkness and light, Roughly advances, more difficult to fight; People will struggle in order to thrive, Though many just struggle to stay alive;
The expectations set out before me 
Shift from high to focus burnhard hat throbs with inner firetoo tight, splits, fallscooling shardsshut down. Regain focus, part hair on rightEngageEngageFuel exhaustedshut down.
The door is unhinged— It does not open well. And when it does, I cannot close it again.   The door is unhinged— It does not open well. And when it does, I cannot close it again.
Parted Lips a-POP-olypse The seats of the minivan burst into flame  as rabid fragments of monster carrots feed Death while he
i’m still searching far and wide for someone who has always been beside me you are here but i don’t know your face yet  
I can't watch the sunsetbecause it hurts my chest but I like the way the waves crash against the shoredragging it back down with the tide
A bird with a broken wing  Its memory of greatness;  A stretched canvas of warm embrace Air cut by swift blades of persistence Unobtainable freedom by many, While the few idolize their grasp of identity:
Relentless driving to another break Each rest stop another wreck at stake Driven to the gates Where the lights shown luminiously Road to all fates Take away everything painlessly  
What looms beyond the trees—a monster black.   I see his visage clear, and hear its moan.   I wait to feel the claws upon my back,   Then wrap around my neck intent to choke.  
  Through these perilous roads Under the cover Of the night sky Glaring forces Spring from the darkness And with pain at the temples
One for airplanes, heights, ladders, and jumping headfirst  into lakes. Two for condescending,menacing, phony, fakes. Three for waiters, teenagers, blondes and the elderly.
made of paper  folded by an illusion  paper boy breathed but was not alive mended with confusion with insomnia until five   not sure why or how he got there nor when or where he'd gone
If only life was as easy to handle as a pile of laundry. It builds up and up, but a quick load or two will shrink it back down. And then all that is left is the warm smell of lavender soap and an empty basket.   
Now that I've said it It doesn't seem so wrong. What was so hard to say out loud Kept me from being strong. So key to me That now I see I think, I can move on.
"Where are you?" I wonder, while you are right beside me. My question echoes like the loneliest of cries and yet, it really is quite the contrary.
Fear. A giant wall built faster than it can be dissolved. For every positive thought there seems to be ten fearful ones to drown it out. At times it seems easier to fight fear with others by your side.
The dwindling down of supper. Lead me to believe malnutrition was the cause. I drank more water. Forgot my pills. Consumed myself with my work.
I'm jealous of butterflies, They fly and fly and fly, Away from their problems and fears, They're free and free and free, I'm jealous of butterflies, Everyone stares in awe,
I can’t tell if I’m really trying anymore I feel like every inch of my brain is just sore Or maybe it’s my heart that lacks motivation He just seems to be there in every situation
From all the chaos outside.. I seek peace inside.. For all the judgement mongers.. I leave you there and here I slumber.. For all the negativity around.. I put on a positive sound..
No matter how mountain-high the difficulties appear to be, they are all terrible but delusions... Crush your fear and it banishes... Face your fear and it vanishes...
For the fear of words I have..let me write... For the never dying will power within me...let me write... You can't tie me down with your narcissism... My mind is wide open..and I am up after all cataclysm...
You said things which I never heard before... You took me to a place, I never visited in my life... You left me in a state, which I never thought existed... and then you moved on... I tried to shut the door...
Atlas shakes Beneath the weight Of expectations Far too great He can not falter He can not fail His friends depend on him He must be there
one) a boy who speaks with a thick accent. always gets up in the middle of group sessions to ‘use the bathroom’.
Rest your head upon my fragile shoulder, Let my bones be your tired pillars. Craving death, it's nothing new You always tell me of your ache to bleed Your soul has been starved
  The hold that you had found in my veins, was not found without warning.   It was preceded by a feeling That weighed heavy in my chest.  
Old habits die hard, Robert Frost and dying stars, Those are the things that made me.   Cherry blossoms now in bloom begin wilting on the stem.
  for so long i was torn between             faces & places and not being able to choose what to do or where to go that would please others [please me] i wanted this and i wanted that
When I was little, I used to be afraid of the dark. I was afraid of all kinds of things: spiders, vampires, snakes, and
The first thing my mother did, when a boy broke my heart, was open the windows. She said that letting in the air, and erasing his smell
Although you may not see it, I do. I see your worth. You shine bright like a diamond,
Everything is always the same. You get up. sit at school, go home, go to sleep.  
Am I good enough? Yes of course, But oh would short hair look so good on you. Your clothes are nice, But you should totally wear blue more often.
Dear Moonlight,   The way you glow through the blinds in the night. It makes me feel like you waited for me. Kissing my forehead to help me go to sleep in my bed. Making me yawn and rub my tired eyes.
I'm´ drownin´ in my head, I just can't stop thinking,Maybe soon this heart will stop, so the thoughts will too.You're mind is scarred
I lie awake thinking While staring at my ceiling About so many things To name a few: my day Tomorrow The paint chip on The wall
In times past the ground grew nothing barren dark soil uneven beneath shoe soles not a cloud seen through hopeless eyes the fear of being burned  without a shield from scorching rays, 
The mask hides the lows, it stands tall and strong, It won’t reveal its true colours, if something is wrong.   Everything is great, don’t worry about me, Life is fantastic, that’s all you will see.  
Here I sit alone with my thoughts  My mind going round and round  It feels like my body’s bound with these thoughts that really tie me down I sit and I watch as life goes by and look at my own with a frown
lying down in the bath makes the water slop over the side of the tub and spill onto the carpet I close my eyes regardless, the tip of my nose just
I love the teachers that teach, The teachers that write in scrawling letters that Dance around the whiteboard with colors clashing.
She was the moon.   I yearned to hold her. My fingertips stopped just before reaching the cold wet surface. Tears filled my eyes for I could only see her reflection. Never again could I feel her cool embrace.
Think about it too much? or not enough? Will I ever believe in trust? believe in me, and my own skin? or will I fight, against my kin?
Anger is my Fault. Sadness is my Fault. Emotions are my Fault. Everything I lack is my Fault.   How one bad day, Can spread,
Anger is my Fault. Sadness is my Fault. Emotions are my Fault. Everything I lack is my Fault.   How one bad day, Can spread,
I.   Every emotions we have has its colors Others were basically there to brighten Like happiness, always there to enlighten
Let’s be blunt, Suddenly all the lights seem too bright for me and I can feel the sting of how the artificial lights burn Burning a hole into the crack den of
Press start to begin Fighter thrown into battle Decked out in armor   It is just a game It’s a game you want to win Excited, you run  
i miss having someone to talk to. you make me feel like a poem. it’s subtle, sharp around the edges, but only because it keeps me safe.
Well if you want  honesty then you better brace yourself Because I’m going to be real here Depression is a real thing And it’s time we have a talk about the fact that
Wanting to turn your life around, yet wanting to die.   Wanting people to think you're strong, but constantly wanting to cry.   Wanting to succeed, but not having the ability to try.  
Riots, Screaming, Everyone wants to be heard, Only few get through.   We're beginning to learn The importance of these topics; Mental health, Suicide, The words you say matter.
When you live with anxiety for so long it almost becomes a routine in your head. Like a clock ticking in the background as you try go along with your day ignoring the thoughts that still exist in your head.
I am an activist because women have no say, because kids think abuse is normal, because suicide is a game; a twisted version of a competition where killing yourself is a form of entertainment.
I don't think i need a partner necessarily to be happy- i think if anything i need more self love.
I never knew how to count before youThe day I met you you told me I didn't need to listen
  Everytime I see someone since my uncle’s been gone, they tell me how different I look How I cut my hair short How my acne cleared up How my lips aren’t chapped anymore
Dear Anxiety, You are my closet friend, the one I've come to know. You have demanded control over me and my life, the makings of the walls inside my mind.
I have depression I’m not made of porcelain I am strong and beautiful And I have a say in my life   I’m not a porcelain doll
My heart is racing, I don't know why it keeps beating really fast. Each day I wake up, putting on this mask. I get afraid to do certain things, very easy, simple tasks.
                                                           Baby blue                                                         I put my faith in you
If today I die purposefully,  just know it wasn’t me.   All these voices in my head, they keep me up. At night I barely sleep.
Black Birds   As she flicked the rubber against her wrist her eyes linger into nature’s abyss undressing the land with her eyes
I'm not right in my mind  I'm really out of my mind Thinking some crazy thoughts Some about suicide I don't know what to think  Much Less what to say So I keep to myself
You’re not a person. You’re not a someone or a something. You’re the home I live in. You’re the hope that I have,when I’m on my knees.  
It's okay to have a bad day It's okay to have a bad day after months without incident It doesn't mean all of your hard work was for nothing It's okay to have another day Where the floor is lava
Inhale. My hands shake, my head aches, my chest heaves.  Panic, fear, doubts are all I hear.  It’s a silent but seen demon that creeps, and steals and ruins. 
relentless searching eye wide, hoping who am i? i'm searching for the undiscovered eyes covered by blind blinds filled with lies my cries, can no longer be heard.
My mentor is the weighty, wheezing breath at the top of a steep hill  on days when I already know I’m late for first period. It's the carbon dioxide my lungs won’t let out in a sharpie-smeared bathroom stall
The person I hate, someone I blame: myself. Devoid of meaning or direction. Moving in circles Blindly searching for the destination. I’m a bookshelf Without books. Incomplete. Lonely.
My body is a battlegroundAnd I a scavengerI gauge my skin With hawk's eyeI scan it for imperfections-Scars,Freckles,Pimples,Pockmarks,And then I prey.Usually after a long warm bath
All consuming guilt Foggy Not noticing anythng around me Why can't be I happy 
All consuming guilt Foggy Not noticing anythng around me Why can't be I happy 
Take another. How much harm can it do, really? Drink me down like water. Skip the slow sips, guzzle down the burn like setting fire to your chest. Everyone's an addict.
The Demons Before the Dawn: an ode to Chester Bennington    The weight of the world drags on into discomforting space when you just yearned for the first light of dawn.  
The rich kid the rich kid cries too'cause no matter how much gold you mineyou'll never be able to buy peace of mindno matter how bright the diamond shinesif your smile is dull, happy stays behind the rich kid can be acquinted with depression tooha
I know it's not right, Know it's not fair, Make a decision, Don't seem to wear.   Consider myself a good soul, Liked by all, Friendships a many, Often the last to call.  
The mirror cries long tears to the bus station Her feet draw their mottled shapes on the Pavement It is wet and cold.   In my mouth, there lies elegant blood
The happy starts to fade, my hands they begin to shake my eyes fill with tears and i am running away my breath starts to catch and i am searchng for a hiding place
Being the oldest, Of all three, You took charge, Immediately.   Care,  Material Support, Yet not, Emotional Legacy.   Tells me, You are suffering, Despair,
Starting out full of love, Alert & playful, Sometimes lonely too, A dark cloud on the horizon.   It start so early, Difficult to tell, When the madness began,
Wake up in a tearful mess, Locus of control, upside down,  Minds a racing, Head trumping to the sound of despair.   Fighting to grip reality, White knuckle ride, Pure insanity,
I could feel myself fading away As I bit into the piece of cake All because I was not strong enough to say no I debated and contemplated until my stomach had the last word "Just eat the damn cake" it said
Awaken she A newness of heart A rebirth of the mind   Quietly she embraced The day as the night slipped away
I'm not sure, I can take much more, Living my life I'm not, Things started out oh so promising, Then I began to rot.   Tiredness and doubt fill my mind, Even when there is so much to do.
It pounds against the confines of my head Throbbing, pulsing from within Flooding my skull with blinding pressure, It seeks release  
You don’t need to stare -one, two, three, four- at me like I’m some sort of science experiment. A freak of nature, just as amazing and depressing as a third-grade paper-mache volcano, spewing numbers and tics like baking soda and vinegar.
At first the illusion is good and proper, promises a many, it is hard not to faulter.  Time ticks by and the terms comes through, wow this is expensive, but we will make a lot of money too.
Screaming, fighting,  sacred food was the symbol of the 1980's. The weekly baths, always a storm, I went last, only to find the water had gone luke warm.  Dadday gone working in the mine, factory, or some other shit pit
A thousand eyelids fluttering in the dim light Millions of whispers piled deep into my head
Walking around all day, feeling like shit. The night before was  difficult, whilst laying on my pit. I lie down at night, feeling totally spent.  An hour or two quickly passes by and then wide awake again.
I can't work out why it didn't work today, yesterday, or the year before. Try as I might to make things happen exhaustion often intervenes. Many an idea come my way, buildings, new business, space, and 
Will this madness ever subside, Really am not so sure. Many a times I've tried to relax, Only to whack the living room door.   Really need to get some sleep, What is it I need to do?
You brought me into the world, So gracefully, You told me you were actually supping soup, Happily.   The connection I had with you, Very closely, So safe I felt, Much security.  
Screeching and yellingLaughing and tauntingIn my head,It's loud and noisyScatter thoughtsAnd tear stai
It feels like I'm falling, Down. It seems like I'm running, Out. I think I'm dying, Inside. My mind, It thinks, It speaks,  and I believe. I wish it would go.
I am a pestering weed of ugliness The one that annoys you By breaking up your pristine landscape You pluck me before I am fully grown Stubbornly, I return Again, you pluck me from the earth
I have been in the bowels of hell, Witnessed the Devil’s breath And seen the Grace of Angels.
Lost in a dream of who I used to be Shuddering to think of what they see   Adrift in the ocean drowning in shame As waves of sorrow silence my name   My soul weathered by the guilty air
Cold, dark, pale days.Fallings leaves and rainy fall.Dry and snowy winter. I sat in my cold room crying on my bed,on my floor,in my bathroom,and everywhere else.
my grandmother says I’m lazy, yet I am fully aware of the tasks that are meant to be done before me. I am fully aware of the miles of debris left behind my trail.
Recovery isn’t linear, it’s a process. Recovery is taking a stumble and realizing, in that moment when you briefly look back, that you’ve made some progress before you fell.
this room of stained carpet, of watermarked cherry dressers, and of desks cluttered with pens and notes of well-wishes is my suicide draft
why do I feel the way I feel why do I want to hurt myself why do I feel that I’d be better dead why do they hate me why won’t they accept that I’m human
to the girl who clutches attention like a boa constrictor claims its next meal you do not get to tell me how to feel you do not get to tell me I am not valid
dear belly,   i see you even though i don't want to see you i know you're there and i'm so thankful for you on most days you are visible and i see you without you
by Ariel Douglas (27 October 2016)   What do you see? My smile? My fidgeting? What do you hear? My chatter? My rambling? What do you feel?
Pain   I trip and fall. I feel pain.   A crush tells me that he does not like me the same. I feel pain.   I get bullied and ostracized on the bus. I feel pain.  
Can you take my crazy? Can you understand the voices that can't help but put me down? Shun me from my self, turn my smile to a frown You call it disorder, I call it a hoarder Keeping so much of what it doesn't need
Four months ago From the beginning you were mine I was yours It was perfect We were perfect You were perfect
Worried is an understatement; I long for stability, mentally and physically. Each step brings forth many discomforts, Some big and some small, But all valid.   My mind is wandering,
I am here, I am alive These words I chant in my head, A mantra, a banner, As I lay down to bed. I am here, I swear, I am not the ghost I appear, I am alive I say, And I don't want to fade away.
It’s because I love the orange tint And hand painted clouds Dipped in neon pinks and yellows
His mood was short The transient feeling was impermanent But it became plentiful and copious He was now fragile and tenuous the uncertainty of this precariousness
My Brother has that look Casket pretty shine The glow of soil piled high Hue of brown that makes him feel; He belongs there
I was the shattered glass laying on the floor, until you swept me up and built me into something more. I was a hole in the knee of your favorite blue jeans,  and you stitched me up along the seams.
I was the shattered glass laying on the floor, until you swept me up and built me into something more. I was a hole in the knee of your favorite blue jeans,  and you stitched me up along the seams.
i feel like all i am is smudged eyeliner and 99/100’s steamed mirrors and the smell of stale, unwashed laundry are the things people associate with me
Poems incarnate the abstract, putting in place our deepest thoughts No need to retract; We can then take shots at the thoughts that make us rot.
  Small words taught me to sympathize   with strangers and their inner tides.  
For the first time in a while… I don't want to wake up tomorrow.  I don't mean that figuratively. I don't mean I just want to pass away peacefully during the night... although I have thought about it. 
You used to be my comforter, Now you are my tormentor.   You used to be my guardian, Now you are my warden.   You used to be my protector, Now all you do is hover.  
I was raised to keep my issues bottled I live with a family where communication is a problem Introverted pacifist, avoiding all confrontation When I try to speak, I stutter, failing all articulation
he asks me, “what has poetry taught  you? why is it so important?”   i ponder the question for a moment and  think about the women who  came before me, the poets who have inspired my
I want to scream till my voice is hoarse. Yell to the sky till my throat is dry.
I remember the day And the shame that followed When I asked for help And my fear I swallowed They asked me questions How long I'd felt this way How my life was at home If I felt I'd lost my way
is this ok? am i ok? is it ok that i exist?   always the questions  that continue to persist in the mind of mankind   always the struggle  to overcome to continue in a game
is this ok? am i ok? is it ok that i exist?   always the questions  that continue to persist in the mind of mankind   always the struggle  to overcome to continue in a game
I’ve been writing this poem for a month,  I don’t know how to tell you what  This has done for me without also sounding Out of breath,  But last week, I wrote 3 poems and not one of them 
My heart is heavy. It is a bomb planted inside me, Ready to explode within the walls of my chest.     My chest is tight. My lungs fail me.
I always seem to findmyself here. These cement blocks,jutting out of the dirt likemoss-covered stepping stones.They lead the way and beckon me witha brittle finger. But you are nothere.
i know wandering and weeping poetswith hardened eyes but gentle souls,and i know happy poets who tookthe world and gave it a heart, somebroken poets who healed up well,some who don't want me to write
Often, it feels like I speak into a void People come and go because they get annoyed Poetry focuses on my issue And at times shows me how I misuse Relationships and people, rather they're at fault or it’s me
You are a galaxy. A collection of beautiful fragments that shine.   You are a galaxy. The planets that orbit your mind are home to brilliance.  
I'm plummeting down Into my deepest worries Can I survive this?
I'm plummeting down Into my deepest worries Can I survive this?
I saw something that reminded me of you today I haven't thought about you in a while When are you coming home? You should see me I cut my hair I've gotten taller And I became someone new
Why can I never find words on my tongue? They lay curled up in my palms instead, leaking into the ink of pens or clutched in fists like painkillers or sleeping pills.   The voice in my head constructed
I experimented with shrooms to uncover hidden truths Or maybe lies that I have taken to heart.
quiet the voices quiet thequiet the voices.  
by Ariel Douglas (18 November 2014)   I knew I was lost when my life spiraled out of control. I knew I was lost when I no longer wanted to live.
by Ariel Douglas (28 October 2014)   I am a beast I am an animal I am trapped in an unforgiving cage I am destructive and I am broken
by Ariel Douglas (10 November 2014)   Your body is broken and bleeding Self-inflicted, these beatings Your sin is leaking red from your flesh
by Ariel Douglas (14 November 2014)   To you it's an opportunity To end the life we love An opportunity to take a chance To gamble with your life
by Ariel Douglas (29 November 2014) Broken Bones Broken People Shattered hopes Shattered dreams Devastation Decrepitation
 by Ariel Douglas (8 October 2014)   Sometimes I feel like I’m all alone even though I know You’re right beside me. Sometimes I think I’m on my own
My heart started racing when his name popped up on my phone’s screen. I flash back to the many nightmares of him hunting me. I'm caught in a state of fear, attempting to read his mind,
I want to love you with all my heart, But I can’t. I want to give you everything, But I can’t. I want to care for you, And take away your pain,
The words run into a wall blocking my throat  clogging it    (am I breathing right?)   My hands twitch the words overflowing  filling my skin ink between my fingers 
my mouth keeps bleeding my thoughts keep feeding my mind is reeling from the emotions I'm feeling knocks me down I'm kneeling pick me up my heart's bleeding me to pieces I'm peeling
I'm tired of planting seeds I wanna see them fruiting trees But would you get down on your knees To make your ego small as a bumblebee? I need you to pollinate these ideas for me  
you can be as  kind & as loving  as you want.    but  i still won't believe that  i deserve you. i'll  disappoint you.   suck the light
It all started with a purse. A beautiful deep plum crossbody. Embossed with a household name. Kate Spade.
From a young age we are constantly groomedTaught how to actOur happiness assumed When we get hurtWe’re told to speak upBut when we open our mouthsThey tell us to be quietjust keep your head down Just wait till you’re in the real world they sayYou’
you can tell me not to cry when it rains from the storms i've created for myself but there's no purpose in telling a flower not to wilt. 
my souls become heavy with the colors of my thoughts  
what is a beat   dusk to dawn   settled down influenced by the near uprising peaceful. safe. chained within
Do you remember what was true before you let the thoughts consume you?An unrecognizable face in a crowd you’ve allowedTo become a disguise you used to hideEvery bruise, cut, scarThe times you tried.
they say the universe is infinite that dark matter is constantly expanding that we are but a speck in this scheme so why is it that everytime I look in the mirror I see something horribly massive
One o'clock strikes A time of night not many dare seek Weary limbs move Begging for rest   Two o'clock strikes Another hour gone by 'Why oh Why' she cries Rest is far  
Breathe, in and out Curtains closed, Slowly open Smile, Bigger, Happier Don't shake, Don't show your nerves   Move, Grace, and poise Children watch and Dream One day it will be them
Immobilized, the muscles in my body scream with overbearing dread. My lungs seemed to be ripping apart from one another like infuriated Siamese twins...
the mirror isnt my true friend  she wont reflect my fantasy land instead exposing the world in a aggressive manner where i cant unsee the ugly truth i cover my eyes to reside inside myself 
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me Commanding me to believe that I am worthless These lows welcome me with open arms to a whole new rock bottom  Drowning me in a endless ocean of negativity and despair
We were freaks Clowns and ringleaders Dwarfs and bearded ladies. We were oddities created by a society That didn’t accept curiosities.
S e l f  d o u b t  d r i v e s  h u m a n i t y  t o  i r r a t i o n a l  b e h a v i o r.  
I'm afraid of heights, but that's not all. There are no ropes in case I fall. Now that I'm an adult it seems, the only escape from anxiety is in my dreams.   I would love to wake up one day,
Something bold and something quiet Indescribable violence Lots of listening or lots of loudness Extraordinary measures taken to
Something bold and something quiet Indescribable violence Lots of listening or lots of loudness Extraordinary measures taken to
so here begs the question. can one really become ontent in loneliness? we are social creatures after all. but  yet we find ourselves alone in the  crowded coffee houses that we 
Double-check the mirror for my mother's eyes (two bruised plums)   I'm still afraid
what i find i cannot keep for when i'm fixed there springs a leak  
I am a fucking phoenix. You can tear me down You can burn my body Leave me in the ashes of memories And even blow them across the floor
My body has been burned Scorched and used From the times my feathers were ripped from my body In a pillow fight I will never win. My bones are fragile
She sits upon her broken throne, Crying out “is it worth it anymore?” The pain of life tearing her apart Sometimes being alive breaks her heart
The inescapable abyss in which you find yourself to be, is caused primarily by a childhood non-ideal as I can see.   Prim and proper you've been told, for manners haunt you till your old.
Words flow from my pencil. Feelings flow from my heart. A simple pattern forms from my mind. A simpler pattern forms from my feelings. Who is to say what makes me "right?" Who is to say what makes me whole?
I would say I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, But sometimes, it’s more like I’m stuck between a rock and the ground. I’m pinned in place, and I can’t move.
Everyday I see All around me the smiles All the love Then I look to the shadows The Darkness behind the bright eyes, The Sorrow under the smile
I am a civil war Brain fighting body  Hands shaking heart palpitations  My brain laughs  "Signs of defeat" It says.
Cloudy today The weatherman would say Of me Of my mind Clouded haze Foggy thoughts Like wading through the humid day When
A shiny, new, bustling city.Full of people.Each with ideas.Each with thoughts.Each with emotions.  But then It starts. 
It has been fifteen years. Sometimes I wonder If when I cry you shed tears, too, and I wonder Will I go deaf soon? I try to drown out your shouting matches. The percussion leads your voice. The great wave crashes
Patchwork stitching stars in the sky: Blue, green, indigo, violet. Thread is scarce so you have to use mine.
Unrealistic dialogue in romantic movies, Teenage females who still think boys have cooties, When I’m home alone at night and the doorbell rings, These are a few of my least favorite things.  
Embark on a journey to nowhere and find it easily. Now look up the side of a mountain and be blinded "Rage Rage against the dying of the light"-Dylan Thomas. I covered my eyes and was brought to a familiar dark sky.
poetry. it used to be what we read in school; harsh lines for more educated, eloquent, and sheltered minds. minds untorn by the society around them.  devoid of thoughts of depression, 
What am I? a balloon, stretched taut over a fauct and filled til bulging then filled and filled some more Like a teddy bear, stuffed with cotton until the seams burst
the best part of the norovirus is that while it robs you of your breath, leaves you sweat-shaking with hot chills in bed it also steals your appetite finally, to be empty by no willpower of my own
Have you noticed? Have you noticed how I’m chewing gum again? How apples have become my favorite food again? That I can’t sit down because of the bruises again?
I have a little blade box, It's hidden by my bed. It hides all the secrets,  I can't keep in my head. So if I'm feeling bad, or want to sink into the dew, I grab my little blade box,
My mind is a ferocious beast That feeds off of dismal and harrowing memories. Oh no, is it time for the feast?   It feels as if I am deceased. The monster putting my mental state in jeopardy,
Sometimes I think life would be easier to go through if I had that "Ride or Die" by my side. But he never seems to stay in the same place. When I need him the most he isn't there.
Why do I struggle to remain with my brain unstifled? Emotions running wild; how long can I stay intact, I don't even feel human. My heart's going black.
I was born a eagle. A eagle who loved to fly.   I grew so strong,. I flew so high.   I was soon forced to go to school.
Two Minutes Every year, there are more and more damaged humans, from every age, race, gender, and places. Those predators are shameless and ruined
Your smoked filled eyes Holding the thing in your hands, Precious, you say. Your smoked filled eyes, Holding the lies you told me “Friends”, you say
I've felt only sadness all my life I play the violin so I don't feel the strife Its wooden veneer hides my pain And the bow glides across the violins' vein  Such a beautiful sound it emanates
Guns, Bombs, Air raids.   I watch in awe as the laughtr fades. One dead body, Three more on their way.   I wonder what their parents will say.   You start to wonder,
My mind is always m   o     v       i         n           g             y         e       l     l   i n   g s              c
obsessed.   my dwindling eating habits started in an effort to punish myself, hurt myself. the meals dropped and dropped; three meals a day, two, one. an apple. an orange.
“We'll begin / With a spin / Traveling in / The world of my creation / What we'll see / Will defy / Explanation” -Pure Imagination, Gene Wilder   Come along, my friend.  
You don’t understand that when I say “It was hard for me to get out of bed today,” it was because I had to peel myself
When I look back on that day, it as if I am looking through the eyes of someone else. The throbbing in my wrist, aching disappointment in my chest, and numbness of my mind do not belong to me. 
You see It wasnt always this way when the time passed it brought colors for sometime its only gifted grey   its a mindset they say trapped in my own behavior the devil next door
Walking through the talking woods, looking at the reflecting water, I see a bag of old goods and empty bottles underwater.  
To vent is to relieve yourself To benefit one’s personal health To hold things in you are at risk So let it out   Do not resist   Cry, whisper, shout, speak Don’t hang on 
Dear Depression, You make rain a hurricane. You make insecurities deformities. You make the air into something I can drown in.   Dear Depression, We need to break up. We can't go on this way.
16th September 1689 I will never feel the weight of you in my arms or hear you cry.I'll never feel the grip of your hand around my finger.
Dear Gabi, Last night I had a dream that you were alive That you had tried to jump out of your window, maybe to fly And I sat by your side because you didn’t die.  
To my dear depressing thoughts,   You’ve been apart of my life for so long. Living, breathing and hurting inside of me. Its been awhile since I’ve felt you. I’m sure you’ve come back to open my wounds again.
This is a story of a boy, A boy from a broken family, A boy with a dream, A boy with a goal,And a boy with the means to achieve bot
Hi, I'm skinny I am five feet seven inches and weigh one hundred and five pounds Yes, I have a flat stomach Yes, You can see my collar bones Yes, I have a thigh gap And no, that does not make me beautiful
Dear Anxiety,   Thanks to you, my friends, Will to Live and Love, have left my  Heart.  I try to reason with you, trying to get you to Stop.  
You began as a single raindrop into my existenceAt first the presence of you was quiet and unseenAs your small stream flowed into my cracksYou were a stranger to meBut the innocence within my spirit
You began as a single raindrop into my existenceAt first the presence of you was quiet and unseenAs your small stream flowed into my cracksYou were a stranger to meBut the innocence within my spirit
Dear IT Department,  My PC is dead. It no longer whirs and beeps Its CPU is void of warmth An amateur's cheap creation
i slept to escape reality, but i was left trying to escape my sleep.
 Dear Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, You have me on the edge of my seat shaking my head to rid myself of unwanted thoughts. My mind is a race because of you.
Dear Ani,   Ani ohev at. Hebrew for "I like you". I struggle at learning languages, Illiterate until the end of second grade, taught myself to read, taught myself to write.
Dear Happiness,   Why do you cease to exist and yet are eternally present at the same time?   What is the reason that you are far away
dear nicholas and twila,   when i was so much younger i was sad and often cried i always felt alone no matter how hard i tried  
Dear Lily, It's easy enough for me to pretend like I'm fine.  At least enoufh so that it seems like I've dealt with it Ir's easy enough to distract myself I do it with schoolwork With gossip
It’s a bubble that can’t be popped. A feeling that can’t be dropped. It’s a pain in my mind But it can be hard to find.   It starts with a thought
You don’t have OCD Do you have to do things in certain numbers? Knock three times on a door? Turn the knob three times to open it?  
Your influence withers as years pass by... But I’m scarred... And I’m broken... From lie after lie...   Your wishes were poison to all of my being...
Your influence withers as years pass by... But I’m scarred... And I’m broken... From lie after lie...   Your wishes were poison to all of my being...
We look to find just who we are inside Forever looking to find where we fit Having constant fear of being denied In the process some people just lose it Everywhere we attempt to interact
Dear Conscience,   Do you remember when I was young? Because I can’t seem To fit those pieces together For where I am now  
Dear Anxiety,   It seems strange to be writing to you When you feel just like another part of me, An extra appendage that I can’t amputate
Dear Life, Your fragile. we sometimes take you for granted. When we wake up every morning you give us the chance to
Shaky breathing, heartbeat pounding, tears forming. Speeches are the contests for which they demonstrate their strengths, heard ‘round the world.
Dear Ana, I know, I know I failed, I know I should have done better. I know, I know, I know. I’ll find you one day, I promise. I almost had you, but I let go. I let them take you away from me.
January 29, 2018     Dear all those who love me,   It sits there menacingly, waiting It’s come back around, and it’s ready for a fight I’ve prepared my armor…my guns
Dear Obsess Obsess Obsess Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Are you really sure we need to keep Checking and washing And checking
Dear Anxiety,   My heart races when you are near. My hands become sweaty as you whisper in my ear.   A tingle up my spine. You have always been mine.
Dear Failure,   You do not define me. I don’t care what you are or the power you have. The pressure you give each and every day. You may trigger fear of the future at every waking moment but
Dear Fate, Since the day I was born exposed to the empty canvas called life, that I was never in control of, we’ve been playing each other. Locked in a stalemate. I play as the mighty king;
to You--   if You look out onto that manhattan skyline and You imagined that You You were God, gliding
to You--   if You look out onto that manhattan skyline and You imagined that You You were God, gliding
Hey,  It has been a while A while since you have sat down and took a breath. You are reading this because you feel burdened,       maybe by something self-afflicted,      maybe by a matter of circumstance.
As I look up at the clear blue sky I see your green eyes looking at me with a great demise While your nose crinkles at the forgotten smell of freshly cut grass
To overcome others is strong.To overcome oneself is the will of power.  I try to convince myselfThat I am the best actress to ever walk the earth,And that the hole concaving in my chestIs simply a understudy for my sadness.  To overcome others is
Dear Fear, I was told by a character in a cute little movie that you used caution to keep me safe— —So please explain to me why I’m scared of sharks in my swimming pool.
 I refuse to be the next crazy person on the back end of your jokes I know you were talking about me but you didn't know You think of crazy as straight jackets and force fed medications
the prince in this tale was too scared to ask for help he tried to save himself the prince is strong the prince was the strongest
his arms burned                                                                               my skin. i can feel his wet lips against                                               my skin.   he had branded me.
You are still my muse. When i don’t know what to write i turn to You. You are my fountain of youth; You replenish me. i’ll never forget what being in love with You felt like
Dear stress,
My beloved,   Your heart is pure and soul is warm, a frown does not suit you. Life is hard and you feel worn, but this isn't new.   We must go on, there is lots to do! Life is a piano.
you can only get so deep before bursting into tears being vulnerable is hard before it’s easy where’s the key that opens up all the locks 
Dear Future,   I used to be obsessed. With what, you ask? Was it The Hunger Games? Tumblr?
Dear LittleVoice, I hope you know that you lost It's been almost three years now and even if you do come back, I'll be ready I know you now
Why won’t you just leave me alone? I don’t want you around - I never have. But apparently, I can’t get a restraining order against my own mind.  
Dear Pencil Sharpener,   I once was a painter. An artist with beautiful abstract art under her name,
There's something twisted and dark in me.                                                                                                      I tried to pull it out                                                                                 
Anxiety, What triggered you this time? Was it the way that man looked at us on the street? Was it the test we have in chem. tomorrow?
When you are hard on yourself, you cannot escape Running through your mind, from these thoughts. Your mind constantly drifting, lost at sea. Some dark places can be found, some bright places too.
Sylvia,   I never knew you But I feel like I did. They never knew you, either And they feel the same. The difference is that They're wrong.  
Dear Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, You, the bane of my existence, the pain that has persistence, no matter how I try there's no way I can outdistance you.
"I'm fine" those are the words that fall from my mouth as the blade hits my skin people say I'm pretty, I say that's bullshit they say I'm skinny, I say you're out of your mind the truth is I'm not ok, I'm not fine
  im sorry Yall probably wont ever see this but this needs said im sorryI know at times it appears otherwise but i love you all truly i always have
You gave me a starry night and an empty journal And said write down your beautiful thoughts. Shoot them across the universe. Plaster your words onto someone’s heart, It will adhere to another’s.   
dear elizabeth, how are you? i hope you're doing well  i, however, am ready to raise hell i'll spare you the details, but i think you should know that things are really fucked up and its starting to show
Hello Lou, how are you? Are currently down, are you feeling blue? Are you counting the stars, searching for love, and aproval for the person that you are? Are you waiting for hope,
It was the way he chewed on his nails until his fingers were raw.  the way he trembled and studdered and looked around  like he was watching out for something. 
Dear me, aged 12,   When you are aged eighteen So much will have changed When you are aged eighteen Fear will no longer keep you chained
Dear Nerves,   Blame I cast, to you.   When I meet someone new and reach out to shake their hand
It's going to be okay,It's going to be alright.Keep remembering to hold on tight.
Dear Mr. Woods, can you let me out without ever letting me go, Mr. Woods? The rain pours and weighs down your branches, now I'm soaked from head to toe, Mr. Woods.
To the person I have been:  You were a young girl who carried the weight of the world on your shoulders. You were a sea of consciousness,
In this frigid winter I write To you who reminds me of this unwelcome chill, That comes not at my request but at the hand of nature Like the wind, you envelop me in an unwanted embrace,
  The sunrays are beaming down, brightly illuminating the sky. Sand keeps wiggling its way in between my toes The waves keep swooshing and swishing 
I can feel it The wind rushing through my hair The gentle tug of my face as that breeze goes quickly past me I love this feeling This freedom
you think a lot you think about the space above the planets and stars when you're sad and alone oh how you wish to be a star you bet stars don't have to deal with what you have to deal with
My mind is a computer, It plays games, Process information, Turns to power-saving mode.   But if this is true, Then what are my disorders?   They are flash drives,
Every morning when I wake up I lieI tell myself everything will be okayI go a put on a smileIt takes everything for me to smileIt takes everything for me to pretend Every day when I work I lie
i get scared on the longer days,   dear and you, inquisitive, know the blush…       ...the blushing reason why   i get scared
Dear any and all, It starts with a search. “I think I might be sick,” you type, fingers hesitant because each word, each letter you feel like, is crying out to the world, with the quietest of voices. Look at me. Look at me.
An artist stuck in his works that he's studied for the longest From his depression to his anxiety to his love for poetry, to his love for creativity to his love for writing out his own stories without a care in the world.
Dear Life, It's a burning mess, and I'm one of the flames; Terminally depressed because it's all the same. Another Saturday night and it's one a.m., You're back on my mind, I just need to win.
IF I COULD CHANGE THE PATH I DECIDED TO FOLLOW    what a fool I was;  i exposed  the depths of my soul to you  on dreary cloudless nights when the moon was high  and the only thing 
feel the music feel the music feel the music i bet it doesn’t rip apart your heart crawl up your throat ruin your breath and choke your words
when you’ve got it, when you’ve got it in your hands, an uncontrollable energy that brings you to your knees
Picture cartoons, Sunday morning papers, the scratched lines of Garfield, and high notes of Mary Poppins. So if I told you
I have a migraine and I'm the only one to blame, blowing up the noise in my mind, racking up the chaos,
Choking on firewater, you’ve been drowning for so long you can’t taste it anymore. The words aren’t enough
To the boy—the boy laid low, boy laid low, by the blows of life and the lack of hope. He says he wants to go but everyone screams no,
Four in the morning, tired, exhausted, can’t sleep because I’m living dead. Life has no purpose, no meaning. you’re born, unwilling parasite you survive, a cog in a machine you never chose to be a part of.
Dear Love, What’s been on my mind? An eternal pain. A constant pain.   It's a movement of anxiety and worry that slowly quivers through my body.
A man stolen by alcohol intoxicated monster more as blurred actions tearing family relations not to be remembered by next dawn  
Dear Depression, Hello old friend, It hasn’t been a while, In fact, you’ve been around too long, Weaving your dark filter around my eyes Creating a messed up version of reality where I don’t want to be
Dear Childhood, I wish I had gotten to know you better How long ago was it that I left? It was certainly early
Dear men in my life,   There is so much chaos running through my body Through my veins, Through my mind, Through my soul.  Where can I go To find true peace and happiness?   Love
(TRIGGER WARNING) To the society that turns broken things into beauty, ripped jeans fresh off the line love novels, heroine saved, get my hopes up like i, too, will be saved
Dearest me,I start this letterWith you 
Thrown out of my own home Out into the cold So young, yet so old   Wisdom doesn’t make you stronger Holding back tears doesn’t make things better All I wanted is to live peacefully together  
Royal blue veins Skin near transparent like window panes, and growing pains Dukes with dukes and dames with dames, an endless rain Staring out at a passing train, imbalanced brain,
I'm sorry I'm such a mess and you gotyourself tangled up in this but pleasedon't fucking leave me because thesky and the stars and the moon don'treally make sense without you  
my thoughts float around me in clouds of periwinkle and gold. ribboned stardust, mesmerizing me amidst the inky darkness of navy blue that blankets my mind   i often gaze up at them
Let me tell you a story
Of her heavy mind that cried 
Every night to the moonlight
As she always questioned why.
Let me tell you a
Breaking I'm ok Breaking I'm fine Breaking I'm good Breaking I need help Breaking
She can no longer eat.   This is day three without food.   What’s the point? People eat to survive, but she doesn't want to survive, anymore.
Why don't they just shut up? They don't know a single thing. They have no clue they are my problem. I want to stay away from every single one of them. I don't care if they are "family"
Dear Hunter,   The name of the person who had used the computer before me, Had been Hunter McDonald.   There I was in the computer lab, Sitting in front of my assigned computer,
Every time you ask me how I'm doingI tell you I'm goodThat life is greatThat I'm happyWhat I didn't tell youIs that I haven't slept in three daysThat my mind is exhaustedWhat I didn't tell you 
I am from Fullerton A place where railroad tracks met orange groves Where my childhood met reality I am from the city But not like, tall buildings and smog
You needed me.
I was diagnosed and my brain proposed maybe death would make this all go away. You see my brain ticks to a different beat as the rest. like showing up slightly late to the lesson.
Dear parents,  I'm sorry that I'll never grow up To be the person you wanted me to be. I'm sorry that when you think of me, All you'll remember are the signs You didn't see.   Dear sister,
Stop twitching every time you mumble those around you worrythey wonder what you say under your breath when you make those jokes people get uncomfortable unsure of whether to laugh along
Dear Mental Health,         First I would like to say how much I cherish you. You keep me going through good times and bad. You're there no matter if I'm smiling or sad. All that I want
Mother,  Let me tell you about two children of my own. I've had them for awhile, and I'm surprised you haven't noticed.   I have devils in my pocket. Two little devils. They snag crumbs from my plate,
Crickets chirping, light off suddenly she's in the dark.Heart pounding, mind racing, just her & her thoughts.Good & bad, the wish I could's, was it me? What did I do?
    autism is a spectrum disorder not a curable disease I overthink the simplest things often blowing them out of proportion
She was the canvas, the blade the brush, the blood the paint that gives her a rush. A rush of releif  from the opressive thoughts that control her mind, that takes control of her life.
She stares at the blank page Then at the far wall ”We’re all mad here,” it says Whispering Yelling Beckoning I feel so small A tiny version of myself Balled up inside
The first time you found me, I was a little girl. You told me I could trust you and then you turned around and ruined me.  
it took my whole life to build a brick wall.    i placed it one by one, a brick after another every time I felt uneasy that someone was knocking on my home that i so carefully built that they were going to knock it down
they say home is where the heart is, but ever since you took my heart, i’ve wondered, where is home?   you made me promise this gift was just for you, so why can you take it where you go?
i was 17 the last i spoke with my father. he came home that tuesday night smelling toxic, with the world giving away beneath his feet. bloodshot pinball eyes, carrying 1000 unconfessed sins and
meeting him as a kid, cold and indifferent, but mostly confused and scared, i took him under my wing: isaac.   dull dead eyes, gray skin dotted with red sores,
When I say "I'm just tired" it means so much more. I am tired because every time I lay my head on my pillow in silence, it's never really silent My head screams at me, recalling my worst moments
Because I Love You   Because I love you I let my heart break Because I love you I claim every mistake Because I love you I let you leave,  In fear that you might see what I see.  
Have you forgotten my worth and escaped from my elegance? Its seeming my china has lost all our relevance. Do I not shine like the bulbs illuminating your stove? I’m near, yet lonesome; I’m a deeply secluded cove.
Are you willing to wait for me? I don’t know if it’s right to abuse you like this   This is my fault Retching at pictures at everything you do the moment we kiss
  In my darkest moment,  You were there to cradle me Somehow you became my opponent Preventing me from being free   You and I together Perpetuated my pain The way dark and stormy weather
They built me up, And knocked me down, Over And over And over And over. A cycle of trying to impress,
“Because I love you” he said, the pain would all stop because I love you “Because I love you” he said, the voice would go away because I love you “Because I love you”
I cannot do what most people can Most can leave their house without their heart racing like a thousand horses
I used to obsess about my books being perpendicular on the night stand; that was of course before you found your way into my life.
A heart is as big as you want it to be Say it again? A heart is as big as you let it grow like wool on a sheep. Hearts are fragile and can't prepare theirselves. Mostly, it's the brain doing the work.
I am stronger than I think I amI am my biggest criticI am the worst artistI am the worst singerI am the worst studentI am a horrible friendI am a horrible poetI am my own destruction
Hello, old friend, it’s been awhile. I haven’t missed you, and I’ve been in denial. Been telling myself it’s okay to smile.  
Afraid of being alone, but you always feel alone. So are you always afraid? You create a bubble to bury yourself inside. You can't keep calm during class. You drag yourself down all day. Even while you're encircled, you feel emotional empty.
To you, I gave the world, Yet to I, you saw no such need. Under the worst of circumstances, we met, I, being a mess bent on self-destruction, and you, a loner. To you, I gave you my world,
To you, I gave the world, Yet to I, you saw no such need. Under the worst of circumstances, we met, I, being a mess bent on self-destruction, and you, a loner. To you, I gave you my world,
Because I love you, I'll forever push you to be the better you.  Because I love you, I'll forever be the ear to absorb your worries.  Because I love you, I'll forever hold your hand to combat your worries.
My body is cold. My fingers, frostbitten and blue. The hairs on my arms protrude upwards, bumps litter my sugary skin. I see each breath I take fogging the air and the window in front of me.
I hate that feeling when I open my eyes, I hold my breath in dread,
My mind retraces dark places skin deep hatred of flesh deflated. The escape sedated for freedom pasted a truth that collated heartless faces. I stated the case of pain that wakes and breaks like glass in shattered places.
Sleep, that place where fantasies keep & time repeats merged between the seams of sheets where some nightmares creep at the beat of consciousness in deep. Sleep.
As I step into the car I feel a wave of dissapointment flood over me like a tsunami in Japan I sit and watch the unknown bodies they run up and down courts and fields Fukushima.
Dipping my fingers into your affection, It tastes like sweetened condensed milk - The way you hold me when I'm trapped in the dark, Your company such a welcome confection.  
Because I love you I won't let you down Let you down by leaving you alone Or crying in your bedroom,bathroom stall Because I love you I will care I will try to stay strong, smile Laugh, even be outgoing,
I close my eyes  before I sleep Hoping that my heart will keep, Wishing that it all won't end Praying that my soul defends, Wanting more but showing less Pleeding for one last breath,
having an eating disorder means wanting everyone to know and no one to ask it means accidentally leaving your lunch at home and proudly telling friends no thanks when they offer to share 
The claws of the creature that once tore into the tapestry of my mind are dulled   The unraveling has ceased  but not without leaving behind wide fraying gaps   Weaving together
I'm at war with my mind And the only sense of peace I can find Is if I go back and let my mind rewind Back to when I didn't think much About what I looked like and where I'd sit at lunch
PoemHer chains were all in her headBut somehow just as heavyEvery link a memory
A Man A room Confined to silence Darkness comes and goes Maybe of sleep, maybe of death His body wonders, his mind paces What then does he seek Perhaps a reason, Perhaps a light
Because I love you.Because I want to love you.Because I want to love the idea of you.Once upon a life,I tried to love the manthat every girl should supposedly love.And on his thousandth chance,
Tuck in the shirt and tighten the belt, it'll help you look smaller. Tighten the apron. Eat breakfast because it should be the only big meal you have today. I wonder if they think I'm beautiful?
  I stand alone here in this empty room,    watching people pass by the windows and watching them live.   Each one of them i watch yet only one stands out to me,   
In passing, [Insert Name Here] looks like an ally for those who struggle, like someone who doesn't truly understand, like someone who hasn't gone through the same experiences.  
In unconditional love, I won't make you prove to me, That you will do whatever I need. In unconditional love, I will support you in any way I can, But I may not put your needs over my own.
Stars don’t twinkle as bright as they did when I longed for their warmth Mountain peaks are tangible; Thoughts of you can calm the storm Ocean depths aren’t deep at all in comparison to our talks
Dear victim Dear prey The harmless gazelle to my lion The soul my monster devours
you creep into my mind like fog in the morning light I know you will stay with me today or at least, your memory the memory of you and I
Because I love you, My words flow freely from my lips Spilling my secrets and sharing my hopes With you, love. Because I love you,
Okay so you are drunk again But this time you let your heart stay in bed it's your brain here surprisingly enough so listen up You have potential  A part of Newton's Cradle Right now is just the start
I could be just like you Never happy  Burying myself in the color blue Everywhere I look it's blue Except the sky Which is filled with a thick gray Or I could be me
How I wish to be free From your entanglement But your vines of thick blue yarn Grab at my wrists Clasping at my throat They grow heavier on my shoulders Leaving marks of Blue In places unwanted
"Why?" you ask  when you don't see.    "because," he says  before he makes you believe.    I, the word  to show who my brain hates.    
Everything I felt came rushing back. It was like suicide. My thoughts hung me. My emotions shot me. My fears cut me. My imperfections were an overdose.
Three pills a day for the rest of my life Is what I need for my mind to be normal. There is nothing wrong with that, I know But some days I choke On what feels like the Titanic stuck in my throat
He said he loved her.  Shouting matches, leaving her with a life he helped create, he said he loved her.  He said he loved her too.
To my best friend who likes to call others perfect, but cannot see her own worth.   To my bestfriend who is always willing to listen, but then turns almost everything back to her.  
I remember when I first met you, We had this instant connection, But I should have known that it would turn sour.   I know now that best friends don't keep each other captive.
"Look at me beautiful," you say gently, as you wipe away my tears, or hold my shaking hands. I look up to meet your eyes           flooding with love           flooding with concern
I was broken, battered and beaten.
What if I died tomorrow Would anybody care? Would anybody even know I left this world alone No one was there to guide me To help me through the pain
Once upon a time long ago It is said a girl with skin white as snow Ran far into the woods And stumbled across a cabin, alone in stood.
Hypnotized by the reality, Still after soo many years, My Misty eyes remained silent. The susurration only had confirmed my doubts. The memories still haunting me all night.
Once upon a time Cinderella was a maid  a dream is a wish your heart makes  Drizella and Anastasia were a bunch of snakes  Cinderella had a happy ending  something else was descending 
Sometimes my brain is not kind to me. It starts with the sounds around me. My teacher is talking. My classmates are whispering. I hear it all and it is so so loud.   Then, I stim. 
"So this is love..."   The thought echoes off the caverns of my mind,as cold and empty as the darkened motel room in whichI am grateful I cannot see  
Last night, I could not sleep,All I could see where the things I was sleeping to forget,I woke up, checked my phone: 6:36 AM. I began to weep, My face is pale, I'm breaking out, my cheeks... so wet. 
I sit in the parking lot of in diner. There's a fluorescent light attracting moths and other bugs. I see them flying frantically around, trying to reach the light, darting in and off, too quickly to cause much harm.
I extracted myself from my family…...from my friends. I calmly plucked away, little by little, my involvement, my presence… existence. To no apparent end my soul grew darker than the pits of hell.
  Ok. So maybe there were never 7 and a pretty girl.   Just one. Just her. And they were all pieces of her mind
POUNDING POUNDING The thoughts want in, - - POUNDING POUNDING They will be my end, - - POUNDING POUNDING They want to control my functions, - - POUNDING POUNDING
One was family. Two was a friend. The third was all the hopes and dreams  that would soon come to an end.   They scurry around running errands and doing chores. They cannot see what has happened
Odessa stumbled in Bruised, bleeding, broken "Honey, what happened?" "Just some tea, please." Hijab around her neck like a noose Ripped silk and torn skin.
I was born with puppet strings in my skin. With hooks in my joints and a painted-on smile. I was born to please and placate, To be Mommy's Little Angel (To look pristine). I was born to vomit bubblegum pink
I am too much, too much. Too quiet they say, too shy (I'm obnoxious when I talk, it's better this way) Too rebellious, they say, too passionate (I'm just trying to find my way, never thought I'd reach 18)
Girl hospitalized in bed Mother wishing that her little girl wasn't death Doctors are saying that she's gone Mother won't believe it and starts singing her a song Mommy is here you don't have to go
Was there ever a place the storm had not been? The storm shrouded everything.  The sea's azure peaks and emerald valleys  Always smothered by an array of greys.   
An exasperated sigh Escaped from her lips As she fidgeted Clammy fingertips. 'Apothecary Den-Owned by Three Bears' The sign in front read And she faked a small smile To hide her internal dread.
Gold-- Everything else has ceased to matter, To exist In his eyes. The damned metal has taken control Of everything in sight: Of our once beautiful home, Of my body, Of his mind.  
The brush stroke is smooth but not silent The colors clear and vibrant Every part of the rainbow is there Every splotch will declare
Once Upon A Time...  Repunzil was trapped in a tower  Locked away for whole summers,  with her unporportional Barbie dolls and hoards of fluffy bunny friends.  Plans to make fake towns out of dirt, 
People say I'm not valid, people say I should choose, they don't understand though I love people not genders.   People say I'm dramatic, people say I'm just scared, they don't understand though
Bags under my eyes. Tired, so I look to the sky. I turn into the sun And fall into the gloomy, grey clouds. Water starts to pour
I hear the piercing tick-tock. I stare at the clock. Thinking of nothing but the time Watching my life slowly pass by. Wishing for life to go faster.
I hated that I had given up on everything. Wasting everyone's time on me. Trying to find something for me. Trying to find me.  
The hair of my arms turned, I know this collision of arms is inevitable, Yet my mind spins like a ferris wheel gone rogue, A correction must be made to my limbs, Wrong, this is wrong; tears pry their way out
A small bottle A brush  Heavy paper   Covered in crevices    And teeth           Pressure       It takes pressure
chapter three: her name is   they told me to smile as i stepped onto the firing line, about to be shot with the reminders of my own vulnerability.
chapter two: mario kart 8   my mother said goodbye to me and walked out ahead of my father. i suppose she couldn't handle seeing how easily i was able to belong and blend
chapter one: my mother on the outside   the first time i saw my mother cry out of sadness, instead of frustration, was when she came to visit me in the hospital
rope lines have been found in our bloodlines, but the ropes have tied themselves into nooses, like tongue-tying a cherry stem until you are tongue tied, trying
bus number 32 takes you to bus number 19 which takes you to your house. bus number 17 doesn't exist, but maybe that's why you know it'll take you home.  
incoming message from: depression   it seems i lose all ability to see clearly when it comes to you.  
i tried to tell the moon goodnight,   but the words were stuck in the back of my mind   unable to escape from behind  
tonight is one of those nights where   i am clawing at the bed sheets hoping to find   the comfort that the mattress store promised.  
Shattered. I lay shattered Reaching towards The wall I built To keep out The realities Of a harsh life  
"Shh... forget the outside just focus on me. Come on. Look. Aww, don't you worry..."   Crazy, psycho, unreal little vile parasite.
It’s fragile Breakable Something that shatters Shatters with a touch A word A thought Doubt Self-doubt It eats at it Like a cat Plays with its food Like tiny voices
I feel like my whole life has been montitor  by these people who pick out my mistakes  or just anything to make fun of me. Are these voices in my head or reality?  Will it ever stop?
My love is Beautiful My love is Kind. Mantras that I keep in Mind. I am Amazing I am Great I start to feel the ground it shakes. I want to Love To feel my Soul
Yellow light banishes The shadows on my wall. Beckoning me to rise From the depths of sleep. To greet the morning And my fears.  
i may as well be a dead roseno one dares to water or revive just to throw out with this weeks disasters and garbage my thorns are fighting those who try to stop me but they aren't strong enough to keep me alive. they may protect me but they can ne
Like a little kid When the lights go out My soul is dark and scary This there is no doubt My brain wages a war it cannot face
You told me once that you were fine I told myself you were right, you’d never lie I know now where i went wrong Seeing you today was the reminder you are gone
I watched it before I didn’t speak You let it happen to me I couldn’t speak I couldn’t stand up for myself The taste of being ignored Behind a locked door Was an abuse that became too familiar
These scars are not telling you About some beautiful tragedy. These scars say I’m fucked up. They scream
It's hard to listen fully To people when they say, "You need a little sleep dear; Your eyes won't be as gray". For how are they to know What sleep does to my mind, How I wake up in a cold sweat,
We are the jokersThe lonersThe invisible roamersThe insomniac dreamersAnd the at-risk soldiers sitting here colder, shoulder to shoulder, Always being told "you'll be better when you're older".  
We are the jokersThe lonersThe invisible roamersThe insomniac dreamersAnd the at-risk soldiers sitting here colder, shoulder to shoulder, Always being told "you'll be better when you're older".  
Nerves Racing. Heart's Beating. Why are they starring?   Is it my smile, my body, my hair? Is it my personailty, Why should they care? I just want to stop the stares...  
A safe place, allowing my mind to stray  
Is America great? Or is saying that a mistake? I see our addiction to doing, I wonder where there is time to reflect. As the spring flowers are blooming, No one stops to smell.
My bed has always played savior
as I sought refuge from my thoughts,
seeking asylum from my sanctioned brain,
I thought secrecy was my only option.
 I thought a safe haven was where I dreamed
covered in dark sheets to hide the blood that I bleed.
Mommy, look at me, look what I can do.Say any word and I'll spell it, I'm smart just like you. I'm sorry I was bad. You hate me? Is that true?I promise I'll be better, Mommy, tell me what to do.
How does the narration convey the idea that Meursault is a simple man to the reader? He’s not  He’s not  He’s not He’s not He doesn’t have access his emotions He’s taking it day by day
it's 11:58 and i can't sleep, glitter is coming out of my eyes and it's cutting them open   my ears are dripping beeswax in some dumb attempt to block it out    im alone, so alone
You Can't see the Noose   Coming 10, Had some friends Had to learn No bad ends   Coming 12, Hello World Oh so broken Little Girl   Fourteen,
1. You will feel so sore the next day that you're entire body will feel like a bruise, and people will notice.
brokenand I refuse to bealive and energizedbecause who I am issuffering everydayby drowning my sorrows in alcohol,but nothing changeseverything can be overin one small instant
America now Sees mental illness As something taboo to talk about Outside of a hospital, As something to suppress so long as I get that ‘A’, As something not legitimate next to a broken leg,
Every morning when I wake, I have to fight a dragon It is a fierce thing, that claws at me and pushes me down Weighing me with thoughts on the coming day and what might go wrong
They love you for who you are, but sometimes words, they leave a scar. A scar so deep, you question who you are. like you've been hit by a car, over and over, and, you're the owner of the car, moving slower, slower.
Having a mental ilness is like walking blindfolded in a forest You can never rest, you feel you can count on no one Because your brain tells you there is no one It says: "You don't have any friend but me"
I write because  if I didn’t you’d find me dead with a pen by my side.  I try to break free from the bones that control me,
he shut the door as he shut his eyes Seconds ago he kissed his brother goodnight Minutes ago he told his parents he loved them Hours ago he stared at his teachers blankly Days ago
Bottles   I’m eight years old when my grandpa hands me a coke bottle, The foreign glass texture and the vintage label excited me,
Shadows are following me home yet, I feel so alone I seek for attentionbut no one sees me I wonder if there are more peoplelike me
till the limbs can't breathe stepping, always continuing time is freely yours the sights before you make it worth the sky is beneath vibrations make waves, joy happiness is for thee
I have reached a point in my life where I wake up most days feeling somewhere between “okay” and so goddamn happy That I feel like a kid climbing a tree who has just reached a branch
People cannot be broken Nevertheless, there will come a time When you meet someone who will make you feel like Hundreds of pieces of pottery Scattered on the ground
The ink of laughter painted across my rib Flat beyond opinion, Line below a beat. representing a break, the breath, a life.   The greens and blues  of circles and spaces of stars and faces
The ink of laughter painted across my rib Flat beyond opinion, Line below a beat. representing a break, the breath, a life.   The greens and blues  of circles and spaces of stars and faces
I arrive at the scene.  A reported disorderly conduct, undeniably located inside of my brain.  'Surprised' is not a word to describe my reaction to find the two suspects. Depression and Anxiety.
Old soul Young bones Turmoil and pure insanity- This time last year I was really feeling the shit hit the fan, man And I mean, really
Porcelain Doll hidden between thorny leaves and puppet string on forgotten dusty shelf coerced beneath the Looking Glass Self –   A torrent comprised of inveigle words - acceptance.
My sad old friend visits so often and years ago she came to stay We grew fond of the dark inspired by tears I'd grow anxious when she was away My dark lovely friend sits in my image
I hear her scream I hear her tiny footsteps in the hallow way  Her shallow breathing quickening my heart She is an empty shell of the person I knew Her soft skin that used to soothe me is abused by her confusion
She is not me; I am not her. Her voice shakes when she speaks, her screams are unheard. I live life on the edge while she stays in bed, and only moving around when she’s trying to get out of her head.  Her mind is her home, her heart is a stone, a
January was cold. Weather has never bothered me, Nor have I worried about freezing, But I could tell, there was ice somewhere, Capable of freezing me to the bone in seconds.
I am in the darkest place I could be I cannot feel as if The world cares for me It may not seem true but "My life is full of joy" Is just a falsehood, and "The darkness is my only friend"
I found the feeling of love in a teenage boy, deep in his caramel eyes. The warmth I felt when I stared kept me warm through those cold October nights
Cleanliness important since birth  Ingrained in his head since he was a kid  Friday morning palms overhead  Leaves are looking a little long Traces of dirt find their way to the ground   
This year has been the same  more or less. I told myself; 2016 was my year, but that never happened. It was the same as every year. I'll tell you why  I have two best friends
You're alone, and it hits you. You are not quite, you. Your friends can feel it. You don't go out. You don't smile. You don't live. You've changed. It's like you're not
War is hell. People die, gasping for breath, Struggling to survive, The things they carried on their backs weigh them down like chains, Drowning them. They drown in regret, They drown in sorrow,
There was a wood by my house you and I used to meet at. We would wait until the warmth of the glowing sun had gone So that you, my first love, Could wrap your strong, loving, embracing arms around my delicate, tiny body
These thoughts run through my head. Stop, I tell myself. They are just thoughts.  My hands are red and raw from the scorching water mixed with bubbling soap.  They tell me to stop, but how can I?
A latent prick of fearstarted at the root of my head.
Everyday Ι walk over similar roads,   And in every way the same memories replay.  As my feet bring me to the places, my mind brings me to other times.     Back then, and today 
2016 sucked. It started bad, got worse, and ended on an all time low. Not for sympathy or epathy but just so you know, not only has my mental health declined but my motivation has flatlined.
My mind is like a random password generator. They come. They go. Never the same. m8cvp8w7jzo There is a switch in my head. But not two options. Hundreds Too many inside.
The grassy hillside beckons to me I curl up in it’s inviting arms, Only to be awoken by the one’s who pester and pry.
The last time the leaves turned orange I didn’t take notice Because I was too busy being sad And crying myself to sleep at night And wondering why
It all began with a small love that turned into a large one. He knew how to take care of her and her medical issues. He knew how to treat her right. He acted like a total gentleman.
4114 May I speak to Amanda Willard please? Click 4114 May I speak to Amanda Willard please? Just a moment.
She's silhouetted against a stark nothing. You can see where the tear rolls down her cheek And the skin clings to her bones as she bends down. She's starving herself. She doesn't realize she's in pain.
  I am the perfect boyfriend The solution To all of life’s problems Her soulmate
Sorry for existing  I want to say  but I know you won't understand  you'll try to fix me with your words "don't say that, you are worth everything"  the only kind of worth I have stings when I try to wear it
I'm done hidding in the shadows. Let the poeple come with their words as daggers, and their glares as swords. Let the people come with their arrogance that buries hopes and dreams
“yeah, I used to get panic attacks myself.” my ease surprises me. I’m relaxed, not like the calm before a storm when havoc is about to wreak. just calm. no storm.  
It’s been a long time coming But we’re finally okay We know we deserved this sooner But we’ll take what we can get   But just as all the pieces seem to fall right into place
today is the day i learn acceptance i learn to tame the ferocious beasts inside me not by beating them into submission, or leaving them in cages until i hope they starve or wither or grow old and die
I had a nightmare last night.I stood in the middle of an empty road,In an empty town,Just waiting.For what I don't know.But there I stood.In the silent,The nothingness,
As I walked down this busted up bowling alley,A guy,Looks to be in his mid-40's decided to approach me.He tapped my shoulder,Looked over to be welcomed with a decent comb over.
I told him i told him to let go but not forget He never had to forget her i told him he must understand she is lighting to him
No I can sleep yes i wake up at 3 am there are nightmares that wake me up at 3 am and haunt me sweats bathes me
Bloodless   If in designation we find substance, We are neither truly rich nor poor.   I know what you see when you look at me. At least I fear as you.
My life is like a Hepburn Rose. Unknown and just as pink as innocence itself. I never understood how life could go from easy to difficult. I couldn’t take the purple bruising pain.
I can only describe her in phrases that don't make sense  in images  in times of night  or metaphors. She isn't real and never will be again.  She's dead. I'm not. Ironic.  She comes in waves
I am a ration cabinet.   Every time you squeeze through my doors, under the loose chain, you take bits and pieces of me. 
Life went well;   graduation, a car, college.   Still, life was incomplete and I yearned.   Materials and tangible satisfied others and they do I,
They have a diagnosis for it all.In a hospital, breathing runs you 300 dollars and it’s not complete without the insurance telling you it’s your problem, not theirs-
I can't handle this pain it clouds my eyes I'm going insane waiting for my demise   I'm seeing double vision picking apart my skin with great precision a game I cannot win  
My body is a metal cage, a stage name— I call it ME. Maybe I should call it THE THING TO BE CONTROLLED. My body is a safety net, the one that I like falling into Most of the time.
Hey, Nick! I mean...Nicole.  That's not going to be your name for much longer but we'll get into that later Remember good ole twenty fifteen?  Twenty-sixteen is like that but with a swirling vortex of terror
Life thought to be good till one week it happened.  Early on, common space violated shared space that has an agreement broken by her because she thought she was better.  Anxiety triggered, a speech that was broken.
if i could tell you one thing i would tell you that i was sorry really sorry, aching chest sorry and i would tell you to love yourself
Heartbreak is the heartbeat moments Smiles fading into frowns When happy turns to sad In remembrance of a memory The longing to return
my consciousness sputters like a dying engine the pulsations of my brain slowing, shaking (muscles too slug-like to function)   beat, rest, beat, rest
she has a universe engraved on her wrist and stars in her eyes with her dreams plastered across her figure she is an infinite expanse a world unexplored
My Depression said to say hello, and that she's sorry we've never formally  met, she said she was too disgusted by me to bring me any sooner, that I  was a horrible creature that had hope, and she had to make sure every last 
theres a man in my head he made his own bed he puts fear in my brain and ice in my veins he pulls me from the people i love most and pushes me towards ones i hate most
I am a girl of six Playing with bones and stones and sticks Wondering if words will ever stick Not knowing that in a decade, I’ll be lonely and sick   I am a girl of ten
My Everyday Battle With Depression
The morning I grew sober was like none other before. One day the snow was heavy, and the next my worries had ceased. I was a new man: outspoken instead of quiet, kind instead of moody.
hot pink stripes falling from the sky. deep brown waves and pale fingers falling from my head. kneeling in a field behind a church with a razor to the back of my neck
I reached out to the sun, but he burned me No matter how I approached, I was scorched. The sun seemed to burn brighter each day for months I wanted to be close, to feel the warmth
And with a stroke of a pen My pain became joy, My tears became smiles, And I became myself.  And with a stroke of a pen
The pain started in his head, bouncing between his ears like a bullet richocheting through a tunnel. Soon enough the pain slithered down his throat and into his lungs, clinging and growing like a fungus.
I don’t remember January. I came into this year terrified, A friend about to commit suicide. Tears, tears Are all January brought.  
I’ve heard, my dear, that you aren’t okay. I’ve heard you crying, I’ve heard you say:   “I give up, I tell you. I surrender my soul.” But I promise you that one day, you will be whole.  
Who am I? No one sees me They glance shallowly, right through my existence. Who am I? Who am I? I exist utterly in solitude My own mind a mystery; I can't comprehend Unseen Unheard
Padded locks lining the door frame, Keeping the monsters outside at bay. Attempting constantly to have monsters tamed,
Anyone who's been on a roller coaster can tell you, there are ups and downs and loops and twists. For the thrill-seekers, it's a rush but for the fearful, the worst part is knowing that
I sat there waiting to be hugged by the sweet arms of death. I sat there awaiting the clock to strike twelve and for my fairytale to end.
 They come so often It is not a surprise anymore For these visitors are Now residents In my eyes I barely notice them
In the palms of some mad love Catharsis and a coma, symptoms of my soma From what foul slum did this sickness spread?   Not everyone's a part of the lucky some Eyes wide open, conscious, willing and brash
It began with the eagerness of hope, the longing, burning, raging need to reach the unattainable—that gift which I never thought I would call my own. There were scars still, written across my arms like a
You didn't know that when you met me,I was sad.You didn't know when you met me that I didn't know how sad I actually was.You didn't know that when you
A year ago, I was scared. I was always nervous, shaking, nothing could've compared to the feelings I've felt every day, hour, minute, emotions that always gave me a limit on what I could do and maintain.
It’s almost impossible to weed out the roots you planted in me The seeds of hope that you’d get better The promises that you weren’t going to leave us  
My life was a whirlwind of suffering, but only within my mind. My day to day hardships don't always happen in real time. My life was dark, dead, and dreary.
According to society, I have never been extraordinary. I do not fit today’s standards of pretty. I am invisible.
Some days are just bad from the start. On these days, it takes all I have to find happiness inside my heart. I turn on my music and roll up my sleeves, This day will not take my happiness away from me.  
I walk 15 minutes to find you when I'm sad.Though it's very rare I find myself feeling this bad.In cold weather, I'll find you, while I'm jacket-clad.If I find you taken by another, I'm rather mad.
Sometimes, she doesn't get out of bed. It seems so difficult. The color of sadness is so deep. But she must rise. Her subjects need attention.  Is it not strange.
The sun’s peeking at me. Tickling my face, somehow sliding under my covers. My pillow’s so soft, My blanket so warm, My dream still beckoning,
Words, shuffling Perfect ballet Ribbons, ribbons, ribbons Choreographed anarchy Compressing thoughts into a tight tight ball Until I can't tell what's what What is what What is what Waves
Why is it that the more recovered I think I am, The happier I seem, The more I smile, The more open I am... Why is it that, inside, things might just be getting worse? It's a trick,
A spoken word poem comes on my podcast in my car. It is the first I've ever heard The words are few and strong They cut me to the core, through the armor of my illness Inspiring the first spark of emotion in months
I’m scared of myself For when school starts See, I’m not depressed But in form time   My mind works overtime  
I need someone to hold me, To wrap their arms around me and  Squeeze the sorrow away   But I know I can't have that sometimes, And that's okay; It has to be    Release me from this anger,
I remember thinking that I deserved it -the pain, I deserved the pain I remember it being difficult to talk -the words, they just wouldn't come out I remember that I despised myself
a chill slips up the cord of my spine as unwanted thoughts roam the lining of my mind hands fidget and legs shake if i can't find control now, i might just break i used to think this wasn't that bad
When I think back on it now The memory appears white along with everything in it The walls The floor The pills Everything except for me But I can't remember what color I was I don't want to know
Do you know how to put feeling back into me into the tips of my fingers the ends of my hair the heels of my feet? Do you know how to put me back together my bones my blood my skin?
The mind of a human… Split in half With creativity and logicIt interests me, so I zoom in,
In the course of an hour, I had stared into the eyes of my enemy. I said nothing. I did nothing, I swear to it. 
Often we find within us that we can't explain what our troubles are Such a bizarre confusion, It makes the complaining of others our envy;
I don't promise insight, so take this vulnerability There's something ugly in mistakes and I am going to let them see on purpose. They're nervous for bad anecdotal jokes and blank notes, rote comfort buy the hour.
What's wrong? Nothing  Everything How are you? Good, thank you. I'm numb, you? What ya doin? Writing
Don't tell me it's all in my head, I say sorry a lot because I'm genuinely afraid that I've insulted you somehow, Don't say I'm overreacting, I get set off by the little things and I worry all the time,
'Calm down.''You're fine.''What's wrong?''Will you please talk?''I want to understand what your anxiety is about.''How's it feel?'
I am not crazy I tell myself over and over, but the more I say it, it becomes harder to believe it The small letters on the bottle read antipsychotic
I am wallpaper, I'm the wallpaper that covers the room filled with people making jokes.
Please stay I've watched as the things that I loved fell away And sometimes I struggle to make it through every day
I am just a traveler in want of a little rest I had been blending through a city of the oppressed Dimming me down to the filthy ground Screaming at me, they surround
I took the pen where words failed me I had no sword to fight, The dragons that had besieged me From day to my very first night I wrote to silence screaming And bid demons stay away
an open book of poetry lies half-read, half-abandoned because as a moth is drawn to a light, the amateur poet is drawn to thoughts of imminent failure   the knowledge of talent unfound, unpolished
Written Expression Stuck. Brick barriers of muddy membrane. Imprisoned. Caged by my thoughts and identity. Black, young, and Christian.
When I fet like I could talk to no one, You were there for me. Through my troubling thoughts and feelings, I could open up to you, Poetry.    My smile always plastered across my face in public
written 08/08/16 Why speak if I will be ignored? My words will fall to the ground Forgotten and left behind  Like dust around us. Why is it that they aren't heard, Or simply overlooked?
written 08/07/16   The secrets we keep Just words between us, We carefully speak Perfectly hushed. But now I have questions And we are never alone, So I speak nothing
I can speak I can stare I can try to comfort Try to imagine  I still have yet to comprahend  A choice that was made A choice I have thought of many times
as you start age daily, you learn the dissimilarities between right and wrong: what is accepted by this temporary home and what is not.
There was once a boy, in the 1700s who survived in his house's basement. Stuck he was, for the sadness exhausted his will to go out side. His mother too, for she was distraught at the idea of bearing a 'mad' son.
You are the black hole of my being— your cold, gnarled fingers squeeze and twist and yank at me from the inside, desperate to come out and shade me with your wretchedness. You are enigmatic; I have never
Alone I feel every second of every day There is no real cause to why I feel this way No person or thing, no action at all I break down inside because I feel I have no one to call
Forgive me,  but I have such a hard time believing that you're being sincere. I feel my fingers rattling— tapping other bones, nervously checking my phone,
When all seems lost And hope has fled What solace can I find But that of ink and paper. The pen is mightier Than the sword But some nights The sword wins.
Poetry found me by my bedside table, heart contained within a dimly lit mind, I could not find the light switch.   Poetry found a foolish girl, one with storybook hands,
As day turns into night,I start to lose my might,And even though I try,That doesn't mean I like to lie. I'll always still fall,And I'll never stand tall.These words may hurt,As if I fell in the dirt.
Part One: It's happened twice. you've been there twice. and refuse to return again. The tastes, the smell, the feeling. it's all so close now. and the pain hunts you. its almost seductive.
Image: Picasso's The Old Guitarist   It isn't crying or sobbing. There are no tissues with slice-of-life movies. It isn't listening to sad music While wishing for happier days.
I live on my drunken abode,How pretty everything seems.I do believe that around is clearer than I really see,For I have done this before.   I lived here so longI no longer beg to differ.
That moment, where words from my mind Flow through my hand and into my pen That moment, when all of the thoughts Become organized, and no longer scream Are you listening?! Can you hear me... Do you even care?
The world is cold. Made up of blocks of ice. You become frozen in place, unable to change. Nothing feels right. There isn't any light. It's cold and dark. No one knows where you are.
The rain falls and it sounds like bullet casings; The rain falls and it sounds like home.  The thunder comes and I am hiding,  Under a table, away from you. From your thunder-clap hands,
On March 19th I went to a party accompanied by my first love; my soul getter I trusted him This man I equated as an angel on earth   So when I drank too much
There is nothing as strong as a tidal wave. It crashes over your head,  douses you in salt, and pushes tears from your eyes whether you want it to or not. I was eleven when I first drowned. 
  10 years old   Drowning in anxiety I envy peers who’ve claimed elementary school royalty An alien in my own world
Throw away the smiles Bring home the fear Forget to calm the child Rage the storm unclear I stand on the shore Alone, as a mess unfolds  Water tickling my toes Searching for more
Blaring static from 59 T.V. sets. Lost in a sensory sea, never to return. Memory, cognition, sight, sound, taste. A knock on the door, words seeping through wood. I cannot hear them, what are the saying?
Failure.Seven letters perfectly construed to describe my very existence. Misunderstood.Four syllables that boom in my ears, deafening the good thoughtsthat are now few and far between.
Do you make wishes at 11:11Do you plan from 11:09 When your hope bubbles over andAll of your troubles and desires File into a line where the biggest dream races practicality for a spot in the frontAnd converts to words soon to be evaporated into a
I became a poet when I was born I became an artist when I died Putting ink to the paper helped me feel what was inside   As a babe I saw everything around me I'd lose sleep so as not to miss a thing
Her skin: soft as the edge of her sword And her hair: carved from the volcanic ashes. Her heart: away from advancing toward His hardline lips; and her faint eyelashes: Disguising keys to his grave, shallow as--
flowers don't grow among thistles the ones that do don't survive they're choked out by a tale of mice and men   flowers don't grow among thorns they grow with them and become them
Don't hate the girl in the looking-glass what has she done to you?   She's done nothing but try to take care of you.   Don't pick apart her flaws She made them up for you.  
She only reads books that start with the letters K, I, or C. She doesn’t know why But she thinks it’s because they spell kick And she often wants to kick herself in the face. (She drowns herself in a lake)
We are the medicated souls, too much morphine, too much pain, to take away.   We are the medicated souls. No one can stand to hear our screams even when they say to not be silent.  
Do you see me? Do you feel me? Can you feel the pain, the ache inside of me?   'Cause I'm alone fearful to hope. Terrified I'll drown and no one will be home.   So I just wander inside my head,
My brother in arms Battles against the world, himself, And me. His entire family.   My brother in arms, An encyclopedia who seems to know the entire world— And everything throughout—
I do not wish to stare Out of this Plexiglass window that shouts my name, taunts me. Yet it refuses To let me leave this world. My trembling, tired fingers Reach for some source of life--
Voices in the dark Madness, that defiant spark Words, Rhythm, Poetry, Rhyme Escape, Express The Truth is mine. My speech on paper, The world unkind, Speak out with thunder
no matter what you say or do  it will never be  enough not what they're looking for so your feelings,  they're ignored  they're a lie just like you just because you're a liar too
He stares at his ceiling It's half past four It's paranoia he's feeling He looks at his door No one will come Yet, he still tries to run Away from his demons They scare him a ton
Good morning, they say And I'll say it back But I still desire unconsciousness Not because I need the rest Although I do   But I stay on my feet anyway Aware of my struggle to
What is wrong with me? Everything my mind whispers It is 3 am
Gazing at the sad sorrowed remains of what once was a person. Now finding beauty in destruction theres no chance of being saved. Ink starting to flow out like the tears that burned my face
I’m picking puzzle pieces to preach the perfect purpose of why I’m trying to whittle and woo These wondrous words Into an artwork,
age 6 - “what do you want to be?” a velociraptor age 8 - “what do you want to be?” a chiropractor in my youth, i sought to be appropriate but now, mature, a dream hypochondriac
It's growing. Bigger, nastier, uglier. And it's sore as hell. I dived head first into a brown bottle, even had ice but, it still continued to swell. Self medicating, personal antidotes,
You're the sun rising in the morning,The fresh blanket of dew covering a shivering field of grass,The wind flying through the scene as time washes away just the same,  
Your love was a bouquet of roses, deep scarlet, like your proclaimed adoration for me.   The storm, immense with grief, truly impossible to escape.  
Hate never silenced her wordsAnd compliments never brought about changeAll she ever did was binge and purgeBut her mind remained tainted and strange
can’t tell people anything they think i’m crazy i guess i am but all i need is someone to listen and understand without having to plead
Brainwaves whir from corner to corner of my cranium,Causing me to think in a different key.
Some lessons in school Come and go Others however Help you to reap and sow   Poetry is a tool that Has many uses The reason I love it, it helps Cope with life’s abuses  
Day 1  I was afraid to have to repeat it again in the hospital because I'd rather be dead I have been there before, baggy scrubs and socks Stomach in knots, my poisoned liver still rots
Looking through a bleak view. I’m not as weak as they assume. It was a dark time, in a dark room. How can this world be flat when everything has been spinning out of control? I needed someone to be there and not let me unfold.
Removal of passion was the last resort, the last plan of action. hoping to patch up the wound she left when she tore apart your heart and left it there to remain broken. Lost in the world, you swore you'd never trust someone again.
Looking into his eyes, cold, empty full of lies. Who was this man standing before me in this disguise? I've seen that look one too many times. I wish I never was a disappointment. But this man gave up on me a long time ago.
Waking up the clock reads half past noon. Looking outside I feel a pang of gloom. I think of the day we got yelled at for not hearing our parents call us more than just a few times. We didn't know. We were too busy playing in the snow.
Sometimes I forget.And oh the bliss that comes along withthese moments of unforeseen abstraction.The bliss that helps me
Why am I still standing here In this place where I was once happy Even though I close my eyes I still feel you staring down at me Why won't you leave me alone? How am I supposed to move on with this stare?
  most mornings, we rise the sun filling the sky, sanguineness in our minds. though our hopes may be high, anticipations soon shatter our proclamations.
The structure is creaking from the wind drifting by No one is home No one’s alive An overgrown garden entangled with vines Reaching for something it will never find
  I make ruins of what was already shambled; I trample over the brain of a once great village. The heart of the city I, grit my teeth at, push my body down among the people.
I'd felt along the streams of scars upon her arms And whispered, asking her, is she sure they are stretch marks Only then did I realise children are just as brave as adults  
Your light shone but once, sprouted my rose of ardor, the rose soon to wilt.   In plentiful bloom, is our chemical romance, beautiful yet beastly.   Bleeding our love:
Nightfall is honest, For when the dawn comes, the sun awakens, I too.   The truth dies with rising gold, a new lie spun for all's eyes.
Staring up at the midnight sky, hear the quiet passing by. We can't get those thoughts out of our head, so we keep them in until we are dead.   Twinkling stars that are shining so bright,
A life unfinished Ended too soon Was it all the pills you took? All the alcohol you drank? All the blood you let run down? All the words that got in your head?
Today is "normal"Today I'm one of them No one asks what's wrong
Maybe I am going insane. When I want to break down, Cry for the stupidest thing. Cry over the fact that I hate myself, That I will never be good enough for you, Absolutely not for myself.  
When you ask me, "Are you okay?" I want to say no, I want to say that I'm breaking inside, That I'm a shattered piece of this human being I used to be,
My mother is special. That’s what they say When they drag me away From that shiny white room And I ask if I may
What if I forgot to turn off my cars headlights, What if I forgot that I've checked 3 times this night?   What if college is going to bury me in a grave of debt,
Head, shoulders, knees and toes knees and Head is filled with very foreign thoughts Shoulders lifted by the harsh anxiety I’ve somehow forgot
Laughter, Light,  I smile so bright.  I've fooled you again,  One more time. This is the night, I can't take anymore. I have done this, All before, If I scream & cry, No one will hear. So I'm sat here silent, Drowning in fear. I can't do this,
Here’s to the girl The girl that used to smile and laugh A light in the room and flower in the dark Who now lays on the floor of the chapel with tears in her eyes   Here’s to the girl
It's like an earthquake. The world shifts around you, Shaking your heart, shaking your mind, Shaking your control until it crumbles away Leaving you both helpless and defenseless,
  You don't comprehend.  ∴  My thoughts, my dreams
For the record, I am myself.  Even in the dark with no mirrors, no clues, I am myself. I am not the feeling
I love my friends. They're always there for me when I need them,          A fucking lie; they're useless,                   terribly frivolous rats, who never stop to consider-- 
Metallic essence lingers on her tongue She's stranded by memories that cloud her disposition Of a little girl in white, Running from something that doesn't exist Her bare feet strike the cold earth and stale twigs
If I didn't believe in tomorrowI wouldn't have a today,or even a yesterdayto speak of.That's
Changing,The people who once acted and played parts on the stage of my life,The once before lovers,The emotion of the once favored touch frozen in time,With one thought and I'm with them once again,Past friends,
Addicted,I am to the pain,Feelings of loneliness surround me,Never leaving,Humble routine of this,I become even more lost without it,Happiness is a forgotten conclusion to a question I don't know,
Can depression be so unwarranted?,Like a tsunami unseen unheard,It is deeper than any ocean,Can this be real?,Am I alive,I feel cold,Even though in my mind,I do not believe in him,God,
It promises without condition. I am gathered here today, In happiness, in health, A wedding of a body and soul Living in unity without union, Though for many it is different. Silently working side-by-side
The main character loves me, the smart side-kickThe thought is a balloon that continuously rises
The voice in my head never stopsDay in and day outIt repeats what I’ve done wrongI can’t get through a day without regretting my pastMy head hurts more than my heart ever didMy heart was broken but I found a glue stickBut my mind is a tool that gl
When I was young I hated the summer Sweat, tight clothes, overflowing out of stiff shorts Sucking in, holding my breath Standing up stiff and straight- I couldn't wait to be underwater Where no one could see me
No. No. No. Please no.My pulse beats fasterThe muscles ache in my palmsDon’t do this. Don’t cry.
One pill, every day, taken by mouth At bedtime It is not A quick fix It is not The easy way It is not As effective as a sugar pill It is not Instant gratification  
Loneliness lusts for souls like mine Hopefulness hides in souls like yours I am weathered and withered, weary and worn My soul's the night, but yours is the morn.
I'm done with all of this. The shit I go through daily. The unexplained silence, As bad as the fucking words I hear. The judge mental glance a sharp dagger, That had stabbed me in the back forever.
I wasn't prepared. I guess I was blissfully unaware of everything you never said. "Mommy, I don't want to live", the shot to my chest, and then the awful words  upon that little IPod screen.
Undeniably, the body cannot live without the mind It is like planning to seek a treasure one must find The strength to act in order to survive but without spirit, all actions, contrive  
We've all been through trying times in our lives, and if we haven't yet, then it is almost inevitably coming. ITS JUST HUMAN NATURE TO HURT, INS'T IT? Most of us experience our suffering at the hands of other people.
There are shadows Down the hall In the corner On the walls   Words are shallow I hear voices Some are deep Most are small   They direct me And inform me
There are days in which my forearm remembers stories that I made up, That haunt me and forebode potential illusions. I remember days in which there were many of these days within a day.
I need to breathe but there isn't any air, I need to clear my head but I also like my memories and don't wanna forget I need to sleep but if I close my eyes
She was always a mess Scabs on her face Dried blood under her fingernails Her heart throbbed until It crumbled And pieces of it cluttered the floor Like words in my mind that I wanted to say to her
Time now for ghosts who are grand reminders of the lessons we learned from our thoughtful mistakes.   They can follow us through our homes and out the door and onto the next.  
They say there's always a silver lining. Always a new day, That there's always a light waiting at the end of the tunnel. Well my lightHas burnt out. SizzledCrackledAnd flickered out.Like those sad faulty Christmas lights dangling off the tree.But
I think I was about seven when I learned to word gay. We were driving up to my grandparents driveway
Sick of paranoia tired of absurd thoughtsConstant grind hearing things assumptions being distraughtIf its not derogatory voices talking constantly about meRandom thought will make me act quite obsessively
Untamed self control my own worst enemy I can beI can not be the poison and the remedyThe voices I hear are not in my headI hear the words as if they’ve been said.Horrific thoughts I must endure
I was never meant to attain remission; The persistent emptiness was always terminal. You were the IV that pumped saline through my veins, the sheets
Plant kisses with your fists, All over my body. Hit me, kiss me, to me they're the same. Tug at my skin, With your hands and teeth-- I'd still love you-- Choke me, provoke me, to me it's all the same.
if the sand was silk would you still step over it? if the rocks were gems would you pick them up? or would you still step over it?   it become harder to live or more likely so
Before you date somebody with amental illness, you must rememberthat calling them beautiful willnot adjust their brain's chemicallevels.  Sweet words do not reversesickness that plagues the mind
They found his diary under the bed. “Just days too late,” the agent said. Tales of sorrow, woe, and despair “This shouldn’t have happened; it’s really not fair”  
It is something that is invisible and difficult to see yet at the same time you know something is wrong with me the feeling of an invisible knife that pierces through the heart
Oh say can you see  The graves lining up day by day, Of thousands of men and women who decided to lay Their lives down together for the ultimate sacrifice?
I could tell you of my longings, but first you need details. Asperger's Syndrome is within me, a disorder from which I ail. I loathe it not, take my word, though water I do bail.
Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore, We are neck deep in denialshouting from our lungs,We are starving head cases.We are two am phone calls to our mothersaying, Mom, I messed up.
LISTEN, who told you that God could not be a woman?I am almost 6 feet under my own fearsand I have no holy power to turn tothat is a reflection of me.Who shoved their generationally skewed
We are just kids who can't stop the voices of our demons. Too tired from trying to keep ourselves sane, we are out on the edge not caring if we fall, we are heroes 
A rose is a rose A heart is a heart A mind is a mind A soul is a soul A person is a person And no one can change that. That in its self, is a victory.
And he dipped his hand In her dying sea And filled it with a galaxy Straight from his heart Undying, overflowing-ly
Forever my thoughts bend to you Like the leaning of a tree to to the wind   Forever my eyes turn to you Like the search of a flower for sunlight  
Wet, clear streaks Like tears Rain left behind On the windows In the hallways   White streaks On the wall
The pursuit of happiness had a whole new meaning It was an avid chase Marathon malaise Stalemated battle Bloody brain Trying desperately, searching Missing piece of me
In the lonely darknessStands a kind, but hurt orphanShe goes by the name, LaurenHiding her tears with smilesWhile looking up at the night skyNoticing its the only beautiful thing...In her life
Hide the scars draw a heart on your armtake a pictureadd a filterkiss her scars "stay strong, love"  
Yeah, I was sad when Robin Williams died I sat there and watched as my whole family cried But what got me was the outrage that came from his suicide Yet, nobody cared this much when Lelah Alcorn died
(A dual poem by Bailey Bennett)   Creativity never came without costs. I never saw a painter free from pain, or an actor who didn't dabble in
Writing by the light of a door cracked open is the most honest one can get with oneself. Especially when that door leads to the hallway of a psychiatric hospital.
i will gouge his eyes out i will splinter his bones i will spill his insides i will break him like he broke her piece by piece my best friend was molested by her grandfather he deserves it all
Imagine a ten-year old you sitting in front of you. Tell that kid that they are: Worthless, Nothing, Stupid. Tell them that they're fat, That aren't good enough, That they should kill themself,
It feels as if I'm flying and not even trying to be better,No longer am I plagued by depressing thoughts in my head, wishing I were dead but ratherFeeling like I'm on top of the world ready to leap down into the abyss below,
I remember the last night I spent in the hospital Sitting on my windowsill like I was on top of the world, When really the world was on top of me And yet, I couldn’t cry  
With stained eyes and blurry vision I tried and tried with much precision But no matter what I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t take away the emptiness I felt However, I did gain a deeper understanding I can barely articulate,
  I lost myself years ago Tried to find me, looked to and fro But nothing helped, I was frayed The darkness inside me has always stayed   I tried to find myself in the loneliness
Well shit I really hope your life is not the same as it is now That you have some level of control you could never ifind in the bottom of a bottle Or a handful of pills Self harm scars Or hospital bills
Days I have days where I want to give upBut I also have days where that seems so far awayBecause the distance between giving up and staying here is the length of a wide embrace I'm ready to face
Between my fingertips I hold the key to self destructionWith no instruction but to inhaleDeep and fast to make the head rush last and with destruction in handLooking around I suddenly noticed something
Insomnia seems to grace me With his presence each night. Loneliness often deafens me With the words he left unspoken. Anxiety holds me hostage, Invoking memories I want to forget.
by Ariel Douglas (19 February 2016)   Breath In my lungs Tears On my face Sun Setting on All my dreams Desperate Crying out Stranded No escape Deserted
someone asks me how we survive day by day, night by night? i want to tell them that we don’t but the words taste like falsehoods on my lips because the truth is, we do survive. but we do not do it alone.
The children are dyingand their mothers are crying.The kid took a bullet through his headright over his bed becausehe dreaded waking upto go to school in the morning.The teachers are scorning the kids
we heave our last goodbye off chapped lips and this is played off as glamorous by our maintream media.
I'm the ugly sweater, I'm just there so you may laugh I'm the ugly sweater, I'm here on your behalf I'm the ugly sweater, I've always been the same I'm still the ugly sweater,
Don't give up, it get's better. Don't let those eyes get any wetter. Don't beat yourself up or tear yourself down. Don't give the world its saddest sound. Don't let your mind lose itself.
You never noticed That you never saw him eat In all the months you've known him. You had no idea Whether she shaved her legs Because you never saw her in anything but sweats -
My vision went black as I walked down my hallwayBut I wasn’t afraid,As I had been the first time it happened,And I had to sit down on the floor,Because I didn’t know why I couldn’t see
Can’t Live Without By Thao-Cathleen Vo   Can’t live without Love, because Without love what is life? Why continue to breathe if No one wants to hold your hand and Reassure you, Show you,
I’m not saying I need a prescription But I’ve made multiply Attempts of self-inflections, and ignoring all of life’s safety restrictions
Dear Mom.   On days like this when I can’t get out of bed to go to school, it’s not because I just don’t want to go to school.
What is depression? It is a vile, insideous darkness that engulfs every aspect of a person. If this darkness was a liquid, I would be drowning in it. I have two stong, beautiful wings to fly away from it all,
When my mother saw my scars she asked me “Should I be worried?” When my first love saw my scars he said “Don’t worry, I have them too.” When my best friend saw my scars she said “Wow, that’s so edgy.”
               "Final thoughts"  With the my hours reaching their lastI prepare to end this life with a blastNot a blast in which refers toA joyous afternoon in the park with my familyMore in reference towardsTaking a 9mm straight to my cranium an
Where am I going? I guess I’ll never know I can hope all I want but the answers never show It's a shot in the dark but I’ve never held a gun before
your smile slowly disappears and your eyes lose their life cuts and scars appear so tempting was that knife you were as bright as the sun
Continue..... Continue to live Continue to process I dont remember how this began When did I go wrong? When did I decide my bed is where I chose to stay safe?
will They find the body? will She care? Finally. I can't get the smell out of my head The lights dance, faltering like they did over the shattered glass
She runs away to hide nobody giving her a second glance  so no one sees her cry why can't they give her another chance Broken girl all alone locked away in her room putting on her headphones
Welcome to the quiz. There will be three items, each a different type of question.   Scores will be determined by honesty and creativity.   Respond to the best of your ability.  
Feet together Head up  Collarbones out Flat tummy Hipbones jutting out Hair long Pin straight Sleeves back Clear wrists Eyes focused Blue sky Fake smile
Soft as moon you walk a rope between life             and death And I never know             where you will fall   Broken ropes bloody blades you try to scrape away the pain
If u hurt me I'm not coming out to play In this lonely house I will stay I will look after myself in this deserted home It is where I am shielded and can safely roam If you look through the windows you will see
I cuddle my secret teddy bear at night Holding him close to my chest so tight In the midst of loneliness he can be my friend Someone to be there, even if it's pretend For I may be young or I may be old
I'm mad.I'm mad that when I talk about important things they roll their eyes.I'm mad that I'm a bitch for having opinions,or boring for being a(stupid)(shallow) (unambitious) girl.
there is a girl I knowlost and wanderingshe’s wandering for herselfshe’s trapped, so trappedin a body that’s dictated,daily molded to bethe girl that everyonewants her to be  
Please answer me back I've checked my phone a million times I want to die Am I not important enough to text back? Do I mean that little to you? I'm not asking for answers!
THE BROKEN________.   Ow It hurts…… The pain lingering in my body The constant tears from when I fell Fell to the ground because it knocked me down.
“Don’t push me to make decisions that I may regret later.” I heard you say this while on the phone with your sisters right before your dad died. I laughed. I fucking laughed out loud. Now what do you think that says about you?
“I love you more than the sky.” You told me that every day as a kid. “You’re fat. You’re attention seeking.” You told me this every night as a kid while you scolded me and grabbed my arm, but I doubt you remember.
Go to your room and turn up your music. You sit alone and you turn up your music until you can’t hear shit. Your stereo will be on full volume, but you can still hear the sound of their teeth shattering on vodka bottles.
7:36- my alarm goes off and my eyelids are cement walls that are being pried open by a mother who’s only reasoning for doing so is ‘because i want to’
Pushes and punches, teases and screamsNo one ever wanted to listen.No one ever wanted to really see. She gripped it- cold and silver. Sharp, stinging to the touch.
Please stop stalking me, stop watching for my every weakness and exploiting it. you are a slimy shadow, a grim stormcloud. hanging over my head,
There’s no glamour in it. No flashing lights lighting up the reflection in the tears of her eyes. Just purple circles from sleepless nights
People always tell you to talk to people When you're feeling sad, Angry, Anxious, Anything of the sort. They'll say tell an adult If you or someone else feels depressed, Suicidal,
Inanimate objects are the strive for empty feelingIn a void of a preconditioned milieu Addiction flourishes in this Skinner Box of incentivized need wherein the commodity breeds the commoditized manA philistine in need is unlettered indeed in the
We have superpowers, like waking up daily, sometimes getting dressed, managing schoolwork despite so much stress. We are the best at being alone, and wearing long clothes,
I'm scared to let people in to let them know that I have a problem to see if they can help depression is a taboo subject especially in a christian home because its not a sickness
A while ago, my heart broke. It didn’t disappear, it just broke. Now that I look back, I realize that it probably could have been fixed. Back then. 
I’m a femme fatalemy father taught me wellLike Mata Hari my charms arefor my victims to dispelLike the mistress Laura Bellthe Queen of London Whoredomone day I may find the Lord but
My chest is caving in, But there's nothing besides the weight of a t-shirt Against my skin, Yet my chest is heavy. And I must have been impaled with a bullet Because there's blood draining from my heart,
When I use words to explain my depression, I use those of others. I claim to be a writer and yet I become so certain that what I have is too little.
"But you're so nice" "but you get good grades" Me being nice doesn't stop me from wanting to kill myself everyday
I want to tell you I will do anything to keep what we have together, That I will try to follow through and give my effort to do better.
  I am every bit as pathetic as the paper in my mouth.   The paper that will very soon become a topic of discussion among my friends;      Wondering why my hands now smell like anxiety,
There was a month where I smelled like cigarettes.     You were the month that I tasted like misplaced jokes,                                        who's punch-line snaked around my jaw;
You told me I made you feel the way I feel when I draw circles under my tongue,                                     but I'm not very good with new concepts.Driving the nails into the coffin of my inhibitions,
Deep inside her heart of glass Lies the tears of her dark past. The girl inside, she hears her cries Her never-ending lullabies   Lost in confusion, pain, and cold. Drowning in sadness, truth untold.
Wonders. That is all we are. Constantly wondering to something new, something wonderful, something different. Something that is not us. We use things to distract us, music, writing, the tapping of a pen, but I cannot distract myself.
I literally cannot even right now It's pretty srs I have mental hellth problems But at least I got my yoga pants It's like I TOTally look so indie rn But my heart stopped beating
  The fluorescents blink almost as fast as you when you're uncomfortable,      And of course we don't know what we did wrong,                                                     but the wax on the floors might.  
  We passed the field by my house, Where you used to say sorry; Words never held meaning for you Without smoke kissing lips.   I never should have. I waited too long didn't I honey?
I asked you, my friend, to meet me at night And hoped against hope that we'd be alright. On that day I stopped watching myself fall; Despite what you think, I remember it all.
I belong to myself and only to myself While it is a great responsibility, I proudly take it on.   I, now twenty-years-old in perfect physical health Need to remember this when darkness envelopes my mental state
You know the nights where your eyelids droop-- but you don't fall asleep, no, (you could only wish), instead you're just numb.
I once was young and filled with hope Because I did not understand, That life is like a length of rope Contemplated between my hands.  
Mistrust and suspicion rule in my brain They run  cross country inside my heart. Loud thumping, mind racing, loosing the control Your breaths quicken and your sight blurs.
Life is... 
   Everyone wants to find the love of their life. We entrust a stranger with our thoughts, souls, and our entire existence. Does the very thought of it frighten you?
Maybe one day, people will see their worth. They won't compare themselves to that person they admire Because they'll have their own dreams they aspire. No more "I'm not good enough,"
If I don't know where I'm from, you ask, how will I know where I'm going? Fair enough. Here's my best answer: I am from a little boy crying because I turned his amoeba of green paint into a t-rex.
Being a hot mess isn’t hot; I know that better than anyone. Sometimes my heart overworks my head and vice versa.
7/23/13 The first time was the deepest The first time was the worst
1. I am haunted by It.
Whiskey-colored rays of light coming from the window dragged me out of bed.
They will say I am broken, They will say I am bent. Though after all they have spoken, Not a word leaves a dent. I am more than my gender,
Soothing salve…   The glistening sea…surrounding me…. Pebbles smashing on the millpond rocks Relieve my anguish, soothe my torture The calm blue sky a parody of my mind…
Facebook Request  Like  Message  Hey  Flirt  Date  Butterflies Flirt  Date Calls  Kisses  Deep conversations
Like a foot is stretching my heart Contorting, stressing, I feel nothing at all. Like they're talking, And I'm talking back, But the words are vegetables Why are carrots coming out,
I have settled in you Like soot in smokers' lungs. We sleep in waves, Shifting, pulling the blankets like teeth. The alarm sounds.   My cigarette's half-ashed On the back porch.
It's 5:56 in the afternoon  I just came home from school
I am so much more than what I think I am I am more than my diagnosis I am more than my medication I am more than my label I am more than the biases and stigmas   I will struggle and have my bad days
imagine there is a landmine in your veins tic tic ticcing away counting down the days until you can look in the mirror and see yourself straight -   imagine
When I was younger, I used
There are very many “zombies” in this world.
I have tripped over luck and stumbled upon tragedy. I find myself stuck in an elevated, praised, honoured institution, full of the most vile and wretched creatures to fill this earth.
As the sun begins its slow descent,
My mind is like a haze.
I’m trapped amongst these padded cells. Grey cushioned walls rising up, besieging me;
Humans see the world full of cheer and bliss, I see it much more than this. I believe the world is nothing but an abyss. Then at the very end you just give in to death's kiss
It’s time for a change It’s time to put an end to the stigma that surrounds mental illnesses It’s time to stop shaming those with mental health problems
Depression, grabbing you by the throat and chaining you to your bed.
Trying to ignore this stuff inside my head the feelings I feel, The things that I said It's not me, you see I am caught up in a bubble I feel I am not here and sometimes seeing double
"Better to be bright and alone than dull and in dreary company."
Still, breathing, not a soundInert in my bed, lying paralyzed.You shook me, crying "wake up, wake up!"
(note: relating to someone that I know. also I don't know much about poem structure, so sorry it that isn't good) Fear. Anxiety. I fear anxiety.
  I sell myself short  with these small rhyming pomes I could make a da-vinci and hang it in homes   I choose humour simple simplicity
When I saw the scars on her wrist, I didn't see an attention whore, I saw an angel counting her days,
  This is not a suicide note
Her life was an abyss of cold memories  And empty promises,
Nothing is perfect, I know that too well, but I cut it close Life sucks, the future is scary, the past seems like it’s leaving you fast, but not fast enough All you can do is be Awesome And I am  
Let go.   Wash your sins away or your heart's vacancy will find guilt, an ever burdening resident   Let go.   I'll carry your ball and chain.
They are the focus, They have colors of wonder, They reveal a glow, They reflect a meaningful soul, They are your eyes. It tugs at two corners, It comes in many shades, It uncovers radiance,
She breathes, inhales dirty air.
Arise from the ash Reach for constellations bright You will soon emerge
After too many sleepless and empty nights The sun finally is up in the morning It's only 3 am There's no storm today The thunder continues rolling   My tired mind finally closes its eyes
I want to stop trying,
It's vulnerability that makes depression feel so romantic.
I tried to end what life he gave, I treid to end what I thought was sin. Daily I thought "How can I win" Within this horrible life of sin?  What should I do with something so heavy?
The mouth of the metal monster the maw of the morbid mother the giver of gold or gall picking out the particular person plucking out precious people maker of more monopolies
  A fatherless showdown. He is around but he’s not. His ghost still creeps in his body,
   We first met our second year of high school.
Those who said that teenage years would be memorable didnt think for those who cant even be happy anymore.  They didnt think about the new generation . 
My life if full of awe Never would I think to withdrawl.
I hate when people say,“I understand.”When they don’t.Sometimes, when I hear that phrase,I just want to scream:You don’t know me!You don’t know what I’ve been through!You don’t know what I’ve done!
I can’t go back,
Maybe he didn't see the wall.Maybe the darkness forbid sight.Maybe the fog of Depressionsettled over his eyes, blinding,obstructing his perspective.  
I start to wonder, wander through my mind that life
Do you know what it's like To wake up every morning to the same damn ugly face To look in the mirror and wish that your body wasn't so blemished with scars and imperfection
My wrists are clear but my head is not Everyone seems so proud But I still hate myself I have so many If the things I wanted The things that make me happy And yet I'm already empty
I'm so nervous and scared, I'm panicking horribly, driving myself mad, my skin feels more sensitive now, hairs risen up, electrified.
If I could make the flow of my hands just a bit more....smooth.If I could make the pictures last long enough in my mind to take the time to draw them perfectly.
I've kept quiet for months thinking I got better, thinking "this is fine now, I'm fine now, life is decent now."  Oh a fool with eyes shut and ears covered knows just as well as I do this is long term.
These thoughts, my thoughts,
Psychotic (adjective); crazy, mental, reckless, Out of control, violent, strange, scary- You throw around the word psychotic as if it won't hurt
I sit in the white porcelain, writing. I allow red to drip, making roses on the snowy surface I feel: Relief. As if every weight I have ever felt has been lifted. Mommy, Daddy, this is not your fault.
When the darkness can have a name
As you walk toward the light  At the end of the tunnel  It gets smaller.  And so you are running,  Running like the mad woman you are  Trying to get there before it's gone.  But it's too late.
Five feet tall Sometimes I feel small in more ways than one Anxiety presses against my chest and takes my breath away Insecure and worried Insecure about the way others view me
The hospital is where I was supposed to get better where I was supposed to shed my failure for strength where I was supposed to become free the hospital with all its well lit rooms and halls
I think I'm insane when I hear the whispering of hushed voices behind walls that aren't there when i look down at my skin and pick at every tear   I think I'm inSANE
They tell me to breathe slowly. They tell me to picture my “happy place.” They tell me it’s all in my head. As if I didn't already know that. Do you not understand the definition of a mental disorder?
Pain is all to real to pretend it doesn't exist.
People have very skewed perceptions of what is really means to be depressed. Depression is not just sadness and it is not just the endless stream of tears down your cheeks.  It does not mean that you are a bad person.
It’s kind of superficial for me to be writing a letter to myself when I’m only so young.
Almost as if the floor is lava she twirls and spins and leaps toes brushing briefly against the scarred and forgiving ground. She twirls and spins and leaps faster and faster until… jolting awake
You hear the muffled whispers hiding in this room you're listening and you're listening but still the whispers loom haunting whispers in the night you know that they should give you fright
Lately I am guilty of losing the little things:
There was nothing left.
Losing Myself  
Fool me one time shame on you…Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you…Fool me three times, fuck the peace signs load the chopper, and let it rain on you precipitating shells of emptiness disturbing the atmosphere surrounding its casing.
depression always was my favorite lover.
The moon is a symbolDespite the darkness, somewhere out there is our source of light
18 and inn
Anna “You can’t have sex wearing a wig” she said That line could’ve made me laugh If she wasn’t clutching the sides of her head Wondering what choice did she have.  
A look into a crystalline solid,My reflection shines brightly and clearly,And with myself leaves me more acquainted,of my intelligence and my beauty.As an amorphous solid in nature,
My heart is pounding. I start to sweat. I know nothing out there can hurt me; But in my head it already has.   How can I face all these people? Am I being too needy? Maybe I should say hi.
On the inside hallucinations are created, a sense of clarity while the others stay sedated. Graphite hits paper, scribbles take form, even the beauty he’s known has to grow horns.
It is drunken stillness, lingering on death Tasting bitter coffee on late-afternnon breath Uneasy to share, to talk about the pain Unsure and afraid, eager to lay blame Alone in a crowd, seperate from truth
Empty inside Hollow and wanting, waiting Waiting to feel something wanting to feel anything I do feel Feeling only pain and anger
No filter is needed to see who this is A girl with such a bliss Someone who they miss But in history, they've shown of me what should be As now I uncover my destiny Now the filters may disappear
A six year old girl ran to the bathroom And stretched Scotch tape from her eyes to her ears To make herself as pretty as girls society consumes To hide her insecurities, and fears
with honor, i wear all my scars
So many visits So many pills Theyre supposed to make me better but only make me more ill A pill for my depression A pill for the rage A new pill added each year As I progress in age
She watches and hears the pain of death; She stares at the flames that has taken the life of her sister; As tears silently flows down no sound is heard; But the screams of pain in a firey death;
Dark and cold,       A tale so old,  Coming home,     Waiting to unfold.    He sits on his bed,      Painting his wrists red, Urging the thoughts,     To just leave his head.   
Misread and verbally beated Unloved and mistreated Alone and unneeded No one knows the way their river flows Always ignored, the pain grows
I feel numb inside…empty & lost. I find myself trying to rekindle my soul, while keeping my eyes open for the lost pieces of myself; they were sold, but at what cost?
A tortured soul is locked with no key, The end of the tunnel looks dark and bleak. Merely sitting without movement or light,
  Look Into My Eyes
When I'm low I dream of gettin high,
I am not delicate but I will wear pink. I am not frightened but I will cover my eyes at a horror movie. I am young but that does not mean I have a blind eye. I am female but that does not make me weak.
You say I’m okay On the outside So I must be alright To keep going But have you once thought About how I feel inside
  The filter It's something that sometimes makes me feel so good inside It's something that enhances the beauty that I can't see inside of  myself So I need this filter 
There once was a girl who would wall
The pendulum begins to swing, Each pass ticking away at my time left.
When I was 3 years old a do
Why even try? Constantly feeling the need to get their approval and for what? Praise? Recognition? Why is it that you go out of your way for them, after everything? An apology?
I was little when disposable cameras were "the thing"Polaroids were fading out. I would pose for my mother in my new school clothes Silly faces, ballerina, peace signs.
I wake up, I look in the mirror and I see this beautiful girl staring back at me. I look at my waist, my belly, my thighs, twice the size of my friends who brag about not eating at lunch
T is what they call me Cheer is life 
Lack of confidence that is your immortal enemy No one doubts yourself more than you Somehow you cannot outrun these thoughts They are just there Ready to kick you when you are down
I as a person am not a conversion.
I am made Entirely of flaws But make No Assumptions     I am still PERFECT   I am the goddess of my own domain With the ability to change the world
ACEs Adverse Childhood Experiences Not one, not two, but experiences
When you’re feeling low… and you feel like you’ve got nowhere to go … that sick feeling is all I feel as my head begins to reel My vision starts to blur
Winter has always been tinged with blues and greys.
Dreams that compose an ever-so-distant me Wrap around in a cloak of contingency  Mirrored walls guard my heart Deflecting and rejecting all chances of happy
She did it... She broke up with me My heart feels like a pit But she holds the key.
A wolf alone in the wood, Not by choice but by cruel fate, A social animal without a pack, A mind consumed by hate.   Will you not take in the wolf? No, of course, no one would,
"Foster child! Foster child" "I wish you never came here" "Not my sister, Not my sister!" "Mom, don't call her dear" Echoes in the hallways, begging for a tear Water in the bathtub, wash away my fear
  She’s paralyzed Traumatized Drifting in space Panting, heart racing makeup smeared on her face. Questions and options Are flooding her mind, Restrictions, obligations,
There are demons pressing in on me. There are demons pressing out on me. It's as if when my eyes hit the mirror they hit the bullseye for my body to grow. the  bullseye is really a trigger.
Mankind has become a world of manmade waterfalls.   Inherently beautiful, mejestic by nature, a sovereign force. Manmade, however, mankind is molded into another's vision,
Death is a part of us all More than others But all death is for reason Which we don't know Until we die Ourselves   Depression is real And it hurts
Pay no attention to these tears See only the plastered smile I must ignore my fears.   This done-up makeup will soon smear These nails were once in perfect file. Pay no attention to these tears.
He asks "what's that on your arm?" I say nothing. He leans in to touch it. My body twists away, so he asks again. "What's that on your arm?" "Just a scar."
Pressure is applied to a mental wound,Bleeding out imagination, determination,The memories are painting the floors in blood-Discrepancy of a tortured soul; spilled ink, spilled thoughts,
The thought of you hurting Alone in your bed
I can't control my brain The pain makes me feel insane And I don't need you opions, on my feelings You can't imagine what it feels like To wonder why you're broken You can't imagine what it feels like
Ignore the girl hiding behind the maskshe whispers to me at night"what have you done?""you're so stupid""why would anyone want to care about you?"her whispers raise in volume and venom
I’m not supposed to call it mine My anxiety and depression isn’t supposed to be mine, I’m supposed to distance myself because somehow that helps.  Somehow saying it isn’t mine makes it okay
A butterfly once landed on me And told me I was beautiful; For some reason I believed her. She kissed my cheeks And told me I was allowed to dream; For some reason I believed her.
~a heart once so pure Heavy with burdens ~Smiles turn to gold Shy to break, soft to hold ~molded in flawless to be just flaws ~A heavy broken smile is all I am
look into my eyes  you will see blue  look into my heart 
'Flawless' is of flawed design, I am not perfect, nor are you, But knowing that my flaws are mine, And that they've made me strong with time, I praise myself where praise is due.  
Have you ever woke up and felt like you were dreaming? Like you couldn't get up? You were stuck?
Inside, around, behind what's in my mind? Flashbacks tons of flashbacks. I wiggle, I scream hes too mean. I can't get away but you think I did it to  myself.  
No one is looking for me.   I haven't disappeared, but why can't they see me?   That's alright, I'm not hoping to be found,   I already found myself
Disappear in a whisper: Hello? Are you there? Yes but are you? Do I know you? Do I know you? No I don’t. You’re right we don’t know. We? You never knew did you?
Mental stabiliy is invisible to the eye of one's emotions when they run so dry. Don't cry for the hurt, the lost, or the mislead.
There are voices telling you thatLaying in bed and crying all day is normal.You're just an "average teenager."It's just hormones.
There is a moster that lives in my head I keep him locked away in a cage Or, at least, I try Sometimes the bars are not strong enough The monster breaks free and crawls into my thoughts
you are like the ocean I stand on the beach and your tide rushes up to me  your foam softly brushes my toes it feels nice to be with you so I wade in further your slow rolling waves rise against my legs
Dead, rotten flesh falls from my face Mouth agape, jaw hanging my a thread of skin Eyes yellowed, and maggots crawl out from every orifice in my body   I hear some then I hear none
Living with depression is not an easy thing to do Living with anxiety is not an easy thing to do Living with both has become so painfully unbearable
i never suspected that i would spend so much time trying to pick things out from under my skin.
Vast are the expectations of a grueling crowd of thieves.Stealing all the souls from the lonely hearts they feed.A chemical inbalance, they say,the reason for this feat,But nothing will explain the endless tears
I sit here in solitude, torn apart.
Behind my smiles My good deeds My leadership My love for others Behind the eyes of those who look highest of me Who seek my guidence Behind all that i am I am paranoid
I want answers you tell lies Going against my religion, but not my heart Which is worse? God, why do I anger you I like girls I'm really sorry It wasn't on purpose
It's not what they call you, but what you answer to. Never let someone else's words define you. No one is "normal" No one is "perfect" But as long you love yourself you'll always be worth it.
I am sweet and innocent and a little too sad I've got lots of problems because of my drug addict dad
Anxiety like sugar in my veins forces my weak knees to rattle. Bumping the desk in front of me as I slowly undetectably lose focus. Undeniable to the students near to me, but unnoticed
Chorus:   I'm stressed out A lot of stuff on my mind, I don't know what to do I'm stressed out I just want to be alone, so I'm sitting in my room I'm stressed out
  Her mind was not broken when she was born. She was once a rose But, have you ever seen such aversion to a flower?   What’s in a name? They call her crazy, a freak, a nutcase, insane
30 minutes till midnight
Dear high school bullies, I wonder if you know what you did to me.  I wonder if you still believe the things you said. 
There you are sitting.. Dazed and distracted... Are you alive? Can you hear me? You've made mistakes... You didn't catch a big break...... But don't stop trying.   Don't escape.
At the current stage of my life Full of teen angst and hormones I am tired already.
Smile.  Smile because you're loved, you're fortunate, you've got no reason to be sad.  Smile because everyone around you passes by without a second glance, a second thought, a second word. 
Once there was a man who left and his little girl was sad she cut her wrists and bleed for him as she wished to call him, dad there was an incident that spurred the path the family was split
this self mutilation is getting out of hand every night i break down i know i cant stand to stay here much longer, im am beaten and damned to rot away slowly with nothing in hand  
To the mother, to the child, to the lover, to the fool,  
Oh my how dark it is My world My day My night All so dark Where is my light?
It’s so hard for me to see it. I stare at it, talk it through, and analyze it, But I’ll never feel it like you do. And I’m sorry for that.   I’ll never understand your self-loathing
If I had to write about being bipolar, I would write about the ups and downs. How some days you feel like you are soaring and others you feel like you are fifty feet underground.
Make it stop! Make it stop! Please Someone stop me
My head space is dizzy I feel lethargy   I don't know how to laugh What is it I see?   I'm trying to remember Thats there's somewhere to be   I can't feel my self
Feel what you see The pain is not mine It isn't yours Who does it belong to If not you or me?   It's better than pity That lacks kindness and charity
The things that define us can often make us worse,   but they can also make us better we can grow,    like seeds after a forest fire
I want to see the stars see past the fog place my head above the clouds,   bathe in the light I want to forget the dark wrap myself in rich shades of blue,  
Well I've been sitting around lately
You saw me in my time of need, saw that I was a mess. And soon the doctor said indeed, that yes, I am depressed.   Simply put, you weren't surprised. After all, you knew.
I don't understand.  somedays, smiling is easy.  and other days it's the hardest thing to do.  somedays, I can eat anything I want.  and other days I can't even look at food. 
You say you know me But you judge by the facade The fake smile and nice disposition The innocence and false confidence
i feel weak
*/ /*-->*/ I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm breaking Like glass, shattering on the floor.
After six months (Sometimes Two or three, A day or a week, Or even a year) I wake up and I don’t think about you.   (Proving to myself
There is a man quite dear to me who I’ve known for many years. He knows all of my feelings, and understands my fears.   He lets me know what’s rational, what’s within my expectations.