Poetry Taught Me To Survive
I’ve been writing this poem for a month,
I don’t know how to tell you what
This has done for me without also sounding
Out of breath,
But last week,
I wrote 3 poems and not one of them
Was about depression.
I know this does not sound like a lot,
But I promise you that there was a time
That I did not know how to do this,
And maybe that is the lesson,
That a seed
Still sprouts even after it’s been
Buried and I guess
By that I mean
Without poetry I’m not sure I would be here.
Which is to say that poetry taught me to survive,
Taught me to get out of bed in the morning,
Taught me that I can still make beautiful things
Even with hands so like my fathers,
Which is to say that poetry makes my body
Feel like a body,
On nights where being awake felt like trying to breathe underwater, poetry became the fresh air,
And I know that sounds dramatic,
And I know I am a sob story gift wrapped to ruin the occasion,
But I mean it when I say poetry was the only thing I had,
Was the only difference between the sun and everything that it
Burns.
Lately, I’ve been doing better.
Lately, my poems
Ache less,
Last week when I wrote I did not use the word hurt once,
Last week when I wrote I learned that no matter how many dictionaries I read
No matter how many languages I learn,
How much meaning I keep like secrets on the palm of my hand,
There will never be a series of words that do justice to the light in my heart right now.
And I guess my point is that poetry taught me to shine,
Taught me to be the best version of my self,
Taught me
that a forest is still reborn
even after it burns
down.