I want to tell you

How much I care

About your broken green bottle

 

How much I care about the sea

And dandelions

And cracks in the sidewalk

 

Like you do

 

I want to tell you

That I love

The red pens and the coffee stains

 

Crumpled papers in the basket

 

I want to tell you

How much we all care about you

We carry our books by our hearts

 

I want to show you my moon, my stars

 

Like you showed me

The little things

Magnified

 

I want to tell you everything.

 

But I can never tell you

About my pink bathtub

About the sleepless nights

 

I can never describe

A headache

Because a headache to you

 

Is an aneurism to me.

 

I’m scared of doctors

Of space

 Of calling someone on the phone.

 

I’m scared of wasps.

 

I want to tell you

About my breath

Stuck in my throat

 

My heart beats too fast

 

I shiver

I twitch

I cry for hours

 

Over the silliest things.

 

I’m “too dramatic”

I’m “making a fuss”

I  need

 

To “calm down.”

 

Everything to me

Are ambulance sirens

In the dark

 

I want to show you

The little things

Magnified

 

I want to tell you

About my fears

Over nothing.

 

Because I trust you.

 

You would understand, like I understand your sidewalk.

 

I want to

But I can’t

I could never describe it.

 

You praise my words

But here,

My words can’t help.

 

Anxiety

Has his hands

Around my throat.

 

So when you ask me, “is something wrong?”

 

That’s why I’m quiet.

But thanks for asking

It means so much.

 

Because I know that you do care.