they say we're all under the same stars but i'm under a ceiling that's about to fall in

i can hear my heart thrumming

i wish i could hear yours
"it's fine" i say drumming
it into my bones
and now i'm awake again 
at a time too late to be
under a million stars 
that i cannot see 
and i know that they're twinkling
and i know that you're breathing
but the fact that i'm feeling
the panic just reeling
into my lungs and
now that it's spreading
and into my arms
and into my belly
and then when it's done
it starts to reroute
but i can't let it out
so it goes to my head
and it's hurting instead
and i'm not seeing red
but i wish that it bled
now the feeling has fled
and i'm left to wonder
did it ever thunder
at all
was that just a moment
did it even occur
was it just dramatic
i'm never too sure
so i guess i'll just be here
when it's too late to be
sitting awake
under stars i can't see
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