The hospital is where I was supposed to get better

where I was supposed to shed my failure for strength

where I was supposed to become free

the hospital

with all its well lit rooms and halls

and constant blinking and beeping and but simultaneously dead

the hospital is quiet and lonely

I can't eat I can't sleep I can't leave 

The hospital

It's not where I want to be

but I don't want to be home

i want to be not here

Anywhere

but here

With the needle in my left arm, taking my life from me

i feel like dying

in the hospital

It's so cold

too cold

I hurt. My arm. My chest. My stomach.

But I'm too afraid to speak

in the hospital

I sit and I lay and I lie and I cry

Nobody minds the silent sobbing of the stranger who's here

why?

I'll pretend I forget

that I tried

To die

before I came here

to the hospital

but they let me go

I'm not dangerous

I'm a coward and they know it

they let me go

in the mid morning before noon

But I don't want to go home

i hate my home

my home

sucks

even after all the sickness and saddness

ive concluded I'd rather be

in the hospital