if i could tell you one thing

i would tell you

that i was sorry

really sorry,

aching chest sorry

and i would tell you to love yourself

before you loved me;

i would tell you to never let me scream

to pull me aside and listen, listen to me cry

because i could never tell you;

i could never explain, that i am a whirlwind

and i wish i had the strength to run away

but you were my eye, you were the center of my storm  

and i loved you, i loved you dearly, i still do

but i could never truly love

and i’m afraid i still can’t;

my heart is a broken canvas and stitches still leave  m a r k s

(i stabbed it in a fury because it hurt so much)

i am no saint, i am lilith and my mind knows no bounds to my treachery

i wish i could tell you the way that words flow from my lips and ink from my fingers

but my art is insanity and i will burn

my name is anathema and i crave your love

but sweetie,

we know how that ends…  don’t we?