people aren't puzzles.


If I could kiss every malady from the cells on your heart

And the neurons in your brains

Then my mouth would turn red and bloody raw

Because I would not stop until all were healed.


If you would let me untangle the knots from your hair,

Allowing the monsters that have hooked themselves on your scalp

To run screaming out of your curls down your back out of your life

I would take a razor and shave your head and force them out faster.


There are days when you feel low because the pills

May stop you from shaking but they don’t stop those thoughts

That say you’d be better off dead, I’d be better off without you

On those days I want to shake you silly

Shove ice cream down your throat and sunlight through your veins

To remind you that you are beautiful vital necessary alive

And that you are not useless. You will never be useless.


The nights that I find you curved in on yourself because nothing

Is flowing in you, you can’t draw, you can’t paint, you don’t feel, you can’t feel,

I want to pull you into the bathtub and run hot water over you

Until your skin turns pink then red then peels but is warm.

Because maybe if your body doesn’t feel dead, you won’t feel dead.


And I know that people don’t change for other people

People can’t change for other people, people won’t change for other people

You will not pull yourself out of bed for me, you will not eat for me

You will not force a pen into your hands and draw for me

You have to want that for yourself, and it is not enough for me to want it for you


But if I could make you feel

I would.



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