is looking down

at the stupid cute eyes of a kid

wide with admiration and knowing

that you have to live up to the 

cool big kid you are in their eyes.

 

Growing up

is looking in the mirror

and not recognizing that person from yesterday

because from then to now you have achieved

a completely new

       state of  being

 

somehow lighter somehow larger

even if you have not grown an inch

you have gained a universe

       of feeling

of needing, of giving, of

       living.

 

Growing up is finding the resolve to own your body.

 

it is finally getting that haircut even though 

people begged me not to 

people told me I could not told me

I should not or they would not forgive me

but it was my decision

and it was not yours to forgive because

 

you cannot touch my hair

 

and no -

I do not reget it.

now my curls are lighter now 

my smile is brighter now

I feel like myself.

 

And I know growing up 

is growing into your body.

It is letting go of limits that others set

yes, this

is discovering

is becoming

yourself.