You brought me into the world,
You told me you were actually supping soup,
The connection I had with you,
So safe I felt,
The laughter, the music,
No lottery win could ever replace,
So cherishing to be holding hands,
Some times you disappeared, horribly.
Later hospital visits a many,
Diagnosis unrecognisable to me.
Silence within the family,
Only added to this great mystery.
Painfully watched you slide into the abyss,
Where is mummy?.
Nervous breakdowns a many, preying to a lord that didn't help,
Life becoming very shitty.
Over the final 3 years you became a stranger,
This was crazy,
Was so young,
No-one explained to me.
Difficult to remember,
Mental illness, split personality,
This illness took a vice like grip over you,
Sadly you chose your own exit,
Suicide, a one way journey,
A high speed train,
Cutting life short for thee.
How would I ever cope with this monumental strain,
Engulfing all of me,
Only time would tell,
How impossible this would be.
Oh how I wish I was still holding hands,
Being so happy,
Looking up to you
This thought has just become heavenly.
RIP Mum x