It’s around 10 o’clock
The night is cold
And the moon is standing out, oh so bold
The tangled curls
Of my hair distracts me from the fears
Held in every tooth of my comb
That dries up my tears
When I write to you about a part of my life that I’ve never told
So diary, I will run my pen against you for eternity
Sorry if I might be a bore
But, I’m scared for what exists beyond my father’s car door
The aroma of the synthetic seats,
Is helping distract me from noises
That make my heart skip a beat
Despite where I’m resting my head tonight
I’m still managing to talk to you with my pen as I write
I scream, but it’s silent they don’t know though
Because I wear a smile that’s vibrant
Everytime I’m in class
I don’t pity myself
Because what would that do?
I think to myself, people go through hardships too.
I wish you knew how proud I was of myself.
Because who else would listen to me boast
About how good I’m actually doing,
Oh wait, my bad dairy, you are.
I’m proud because
I keep a shield of my emotions
But, right now I’m drenching your source of life with a river
That has masked my eyes.
I’m sorry diary, that you have to both hear and dry my cries.
I’lI try again.
I made honor roll,
Funny, I guess you could say I’m on a roll
I made the school basketball team,
And I have scored the most points, and assists
But, after all this nothing compares to what I am about to say
Because when I think about it,
When I ponder on it, I am still alive anyway
I am still here, existing, breathing life into what I write
It doesn’t matter to me where I lay my head at night
Here goes the tears, don’t make me cry
Wow, I am still alive.
Okay, diary I’m done for tonight,
Thank you for being my muse
In what seems like darkness,
You’re the only one who knows a heart
Can also bruise.
But, before I go, I will get on both knees and
Bow my head, beginning my prayer with please.
I love you, goodnight.
Don’t forget for breakfast
Is always a McGrittle
I’d love a bite.
Now I feel more comfortable to go to sleep,
Thank you diary for keeping my sanity,
1,sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep
I have awoken, it’s a brand new day
My dark pupils and light brown iris’ have a different perspective
I've learned is that mental health is
Over looked like
I know it’s hard for me to express my emotions
It still is
But, the pain it inflicts hurts far more than a 1,000 bricks
It’s not worth it if I hold my emotions in my stomach,
And don’t ever let them projectile vomit
I am doing myself a disservice
But, I hate talking about it with people,
It makes me nervous
And among the 2.5 million just like me
I am not the only one who didn’t feel free
This never ending problem has gone untouched
As children are not given a roof to look up at, not even lunch
How can they be children, when there is
Not a fluffy bear grasping their small fingers, but rather dry cardboard sign
Not a blanket in hand, but rather their parents hearts,
Not a pen in their palm, but rather the tears that hide their pain deep down inside
Young brilliant, exasperated, but they don’t know the power of their brain
They may think society gave up on them anyway
I woke up today grateful for who I’ve become
& mental health is more important than
Your financial stability or your immense income