The Cycle
It’s a bubble that can’t be popped.
A feeling that can’t be dropped.
It’s a pain in my mind
But it can be hard to find.
It starts with a thought
Then you’re caught
With feelings of despair
And wondering who would care
If you decided to end it all.
Then, she’s there
Her face bare
Because you can’t remember
The details of her face exactly
And you feel worse
But it’s not the first.
It’s a dark hole
Filled with dirt and coal
You try to dig yourself out
But you’re stuck with doubt
And unable to move.
It’s an out of body experience
Looking down on yourself
But not being able to control what you do
But it’s peaceful
And that’s a miracle.
It’s waking up
And knowing you’re fucked
And having a panic attack
With the wall against your back
And calling her phone in the middle of the night
Hoping she’s alright
But “the number you have called is out of service-”.
It’s the world crashing down on you
As you realize she’s dead
Again
Like a never ending cycle.
He’s always there,
Depression.
He watches you
And just when you think he’s gone
And you think you’ll be fine,
he rears his head
And you welcome him
Like an old friend.