Darkest Poem
This could be the darkest poem I will ever write
So I will make it a short one
So now it could be the darkest short poem I will ever write
And maybe it already is so let’s start with the light
Let’s start with the sun and how it isn’t even the brightest star in the Milky Way
Or how it produces 400 trillion trillion Watts every second
Which could supply all the power on earth for 500,000 years
And how sometimes I feel like the most powerful thing I can do is kill myself.
Knowing how easy it would really be
How quickly I could make it
But instead let’s talk about starlight
And how we never got to stargaze together
Or how every time I saw a shooting star I would wish for more of your kisses
And how every star since then I’ve been wishing to forget about your kisses
And the darkest times of my life have been every month since then
With less and less shooting stars to choose from
Which we both know makes no sense
Since I was born in the dark
And it wasn't yesterday
But there are still flashes of light sometimes
Like a car driving down my road less traveled
Shining it’s high beams to illuminate my face
Or the prickles of my unshaved chin
To remind me I am human
To remind me I exist beyond this emptiness
Beyond this endless existence
And I am not alone.
But when your headlight goes out you can fix it
When your headlight goes out you can go to an auto shop
Or a store
And buy a new light
But the light in my head is broken
And no store will sell me a new one
Not auto shop will repair my broken pieces
And no amount of fine tuning can dispel the storm clouds
beginning to rumble in the front of my brain.
I know that I will be ok again someday
But today just isn’t that day
And if you see me crying,
Know that it isn’t because of you
Or anyone really
I am crying because my eyes
Know that my heart feels left out
That my heart wants to let go
And sometimes we can no longer make excuses to hold back the rain