Crowd Pleaser

Little did I know that I committed a sin against my own race for my dialect and skin

The way I was, was apparently all wrong and I shake my head when my father finally clarified my mistake

I remember in the 3rd grade at the age of eight the error I made makes me shudder and quake 

The person I became was a disgrace, a dumb slap, almost as offensive as black face

I was that which became a haunted memory of a shameful disgraceful name

Two words that I bear as my past shame

Crowd. Pleaser.

I said I was that which became a haunted memory of a shameful disgraceful name

Two words that I bear as my past shame

Crowd. Pleaser.

No not honorable like Mr. Derek Jeter

I was the girl who did stereotypes with a smile, shaking my hips and people laughed

Laughed at what I thought was my comic finesce 

But I was wrong.

They laughed at my flaws from my stutter to how I dressed

But I was so naive and just wanted some love that I created an illusion that they took joy for who I was

But in a way, it was real

They did like who I was, but not for my good parts no

I was addicted to the class clown drug

And like loyal supplier that kept strengthening my addiction

And my parents would tell me to calm down I refused to listen

So of course I got used to my role at the national joke and all seriousness exited the words that I spoke

And the sad part about this is that it was just my friends making me their group idiot

It was also the people that I called teacher

The people that I greeted as Ms.

And smiled a lie that was truly a dis because I was dumb enough to let them humorize my rhythmic bliss

And they would call my friends in saying, "Get a load of this"

And now that I'm and I'm on a new plane

Everybody in this better get to know my name

Stop making me your trophy to boost your false fame

Because I am tired of playing these stupid games

Then there's not only my personality but people have issues with my ethnicalities

Because for whites I'm too black and for blacks I'm too white

So now I'm stuck in limbo because racially I can't get it right 

I speak with emotion and passion and diction gets a little sloppy

Like a ghetto hooptie or a chitty jalopy

But let not my ebonics fool you on my intelligence

Because my knowledge is beyond what you can comprehend

But being smart is apparently a black girl's sin

And apparently success and goals make you a sell out and a lost cause

But yet you wonder why your section 8 behind can't get a job?

I will tell you the truth

I'll tell you what's good

You are so much better than the projects and the hood

Stop complaining about how you have no chance in this world

Because then you submit to the role of that ignorant poor black girl

My daddy taught me not to give into what other tried to label me

I am not a statistic, my words will you heed

But I just want to be stereotypically

I didn't understand want daddy wanted me to see

His rough message was hurtful but he was only protecting me to not be a 

Crowd. Pleaser

Others might argue that I'm being sensitive and mean

But I know that a dumb black girl is all that you've seen 

Because my song was Ego Trippin but you wrote it as ghetto queen

And to all those that try to show me off

I will laugh in your face and simply scoff

Because I am not your entertainment or your favorite show

I am more than that which I expect you to know

Ignorantly I played the role of court jester

But I don't tolerate that crap now and no longer will I ever

I am no longer your idiot

Nor am I your fool

Your snap of the fingers lackey

Your advantage taken tool

I'm tired of my gifts which I was given from God becoming a joke

And these words are like acid in my throat

Because I am no longer going to wear a mask or be fake and I will end this poem by setting the record straight

I am not a performance

Or even a teaser

I'm not your court jester

And I am darn sure am not your 

Crowd. Pleaser.

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