OH, EXCUSE ME

Let me dig myself a hole,

lace it with insincerity and senioritis

and fill it to the brim with misery

Allow me to proceed

to throw myself in this vacancy in the ground

if only to swim to the bottom and keep digging

because Lord knows I’ll never stop until I hit the core

of the earth or anything

But when I do,

and I’m quite certain that I’ve reached the extent

of my strength to go deeper

or willpower to return higher

allow me to take refuge in my own sorrow

put down roots in the only way I can

and find familiarity in pain

let me settle in my own personal low

and lay back to see life outside this hole I’ve dug

myself

into

But let my view looking out be limited

and the view looking in be far more

so let me fade into obscurity

without a care in the world

and without a soul in the world who cares.

Silence, bliss.

nothing but my troubled thoughts

and the lack of resolve to resolve them

And let the insincerity, senioritis, and pain be so potent

that those passing by will lack desire to to look closer

and let them ignore any screams for help that I may utter

because aid will just remind me that I’m alone

and the lack of temptation is far more relieving.

 And surely such a hole

will falter eventually

As walls weaken and lack of upkeep slowly decays the one

comfort

I have left

And if the hole collapses and I suffocate

then so be it

but name it for some noble cause

or at least understand that living in anguish is the sole way

for me to find

peace

or whatever they call it now.

 For, if I’m living in my “own little world"

it surely isn’t naive

and if anything, it is the weight of the whole

world

or what I’ve discovered of it

that is pressing down on my hole

and therefore

suffocating me

as

well.