broken
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Out of everyone else, with you it hurts the most,
Because this was the first time in my life where it felt like we were getting close.
As much as I don't want to say those words to you,
The one person in my life who was supposed to be there for me showed me not to rely on
anyone,
And don’t you dare think for one second that I need support from you to get anything done.
I quietly lit a cigarette-the terrible ideas always winbecause they can.tempered glass breaks the ice. I contemplated picking up the pieces... but it was a beautiful night... I was lost in a song from another time, and the moonlight
5 months, trading kisses in my carYour hands tracing hearts around my armsOur lives, we knew would never be the sameOh why’d you have to go and change4 weeks, that’s all it took for me to fallYour smile I wish I could forget it allYour laugh’s for
We fell in love in late spring
As cool wind nipped at our cheeks
we found warmth in each others bodies
Our love blossomed into the summer
Hot, sunny days
Walking trails hand in hand
I used to think there was no way you could ever let me down,
Then you broke my heart and knocked off my precariously placed crown.
I used to think I couldn’t live without you,
Humpty Dumpty fell.
Off a wall.
He's an egg.
He cracked.
Broke.
He probably broke inside, too.
And he smiled.
He couldn't get fixed.
He got fixed a bit on the outside, though.
Sitting in front of the door with the tears streaming down my face,
Knowing that there is no way that I can get out of this dark place.
Just as I thought things were turning around, life decides to take a turn,
For so long, I kept holding on, trying to convince myself that all of this was for something,
But I wasn't prepared for all of the hurt and pain that it would bring.
I am covered in bruises, cuts and scares from head to toe,
truth only hurts
when it interrupts
the pleasures
we derive from lies
pain only hurts for a moment
sometimes
i break my own heart
just for the callous i earn
I pick up the red and black pants that I saw you wearing in those pictures that I look at all the time,
And I really thought that by know, I would be able to call you mine.
No matter how many times I tell myself not to, I can't stop myself from watching it,
And everytime I do, I am always left feeling like my heart took a hit.
The Encounter Worthy of self and same. Higher value others are. More than harm from the unkind. Coldhearted. Brutal. Cruel.Pulling strings like a puppeteer.
Sometimes it's hard to admit it, but sometimes you need to accept defeat,
And that the future that you thought you were heading towards ends up not being so sweet.
Sometimes it's hard to admit it, but sometimes you need to accept defeat,
And that the future that you thought you were heading towards ends up not being so sweet.
Welcome to lake indifference
Here you will find the vacation home of every man I have ever loved.
Starting with cabin 208
Occupied by all the men I accidentally loved in high school.
Or at least I thought I loved.
This could be the darkest poem I will ever write
So I will make it a short one
So now it could be the darkest short poem I will ever write
And maybe it already is so let’s start with the light
Having depression is weird
Because you can be at the lowest point of your life
So sad that your arms can’t move
So sad that your eyes wont stay open
So sad that every sky is a grey sky
I write a lot of my poems from my bathtub floor
Soaking up sadness til the water gets cold
Til my silence grows old
Til my tears meet the water
And the stanzas are told
My mind is a Kaleidoscope of memories that I wish I could burn
But some moments are fireproof
And maybe it helps to see the world through rainbow glasses
Or maybe it’s a curse
And maybe I loved you
Preface:
I am a 6’5” homosexual cis white man
Which is to say I am privileged
Which is also to say I kinda get it.
Poem:
I am sitting on my bed
I do that a lot lately
Did you know there is no word in the English language,
or any other language as far as I know of,
for a memory that you’ve forgotten
A forgotten memory is the only way I can describe
I wrote a poem once about how you need to break
To truly shatter if you ever want to learn to put yourself back together again
Because no mosaic is built without first becoming broken pieces
I was never good at playing these games
Rolling the dice
Going on dates
Crossing my fingers and hoping for the best
I was never the master of board games
Or video games
Or games involving…. Me
You’d be surprised to know I still look at your picture saved in the vaults of my phone. The one where we smiled and the room was vibrant, and the lights were red and blue, and the world seemed like a different place.
If our story is over
Let me be the first to write the endnote
Let me be the first to close the cover
To burn the pages where I scribbled your name in my dreams
And if the pages are burning
It had been over a month
And I hadn’t written anything
Nothing substantial
Or meaningful
Or otherwise legible
No love poems
Or hate poems
Or poems about my brokenness
The heat wasn't working in my apartment today
Which normally would be just fine
Because see I like it a little cold
A little cold is just fine you see
But it wasn't just a little cold
I didn’t start writing because you broke me, you know?
I started writing when I learned to write,
I learned to write because I learned to read,
There was nothing mathematical about the way that I loved you
There was nothing logical, or choreographed, or otherwise organized.
My love for you is chaos
Was chaos
Chaos with a vengeance
You know I’ve realized
That somehow falling in love
Is the best and worst thing
That can ever happen to a person
You will feel things you never knew you could feel.
Address this letter to the pieces of myself I left in Pennsylvania.
The broken shards of the boy I used to be
The return address to where I learned that fear was a four letter word I would carry with me always.
I was there when you built your garden
I helped you pick what plants to grow
I held your hand when you spoke of the harvest and all the meals we would share.
I promise I’m not broken,
I just look this way
Because of the pieces I gave away
To fix the broken in someone else
But when something is no longer broken
They no longer need the one who fixes
Im tired of writing about love
Pretending I understand it
And all it’s complexity
As if I have any success stories
The truth is I am still just as oblivious
Just as dumbfounded by love
Every night my mind plays melodies
From a song I haven’t quite learned yet
Perhaps I never will
But she also weaves thank you letters
Thank you’s for all the people in my life
The ones who left me
It doesn’t matter what I name this poem
Or perhaps it won’t deserve a name
We never name the things we plan to kill you see
Since names make it that much harder to watch it die
I used to go to the bar on Sundays
Because I knew you wouldn’t be there
Because I knew it would be safe
Safe from the sight of that smile
Loving you was everything I thought it would be
And so much more than I could have imagined
Loving you was canceling plans to spend time with you
Happiness is a bubble
The more you reach for it
The farther away it seems to be
But when you’re in it
Really in it
It’s as fragile as porcelain
I’m not angry at you
Ya know?
I might have been angry
Or sad
Or frustrated
Or some combination of that
Mixed with the feeling
of being utterly destroyed
But I was never angry at you
I can’t help but feel
That I will never stop writing
About this feeling
That I will never stop feeling
This in love
And this unloved
At the same time
It’s an emotion
If I’m being honest,
I’m not sure I’m strong enough.
We write poems and songs and stories
To convince ourselves to let go
To move on
That something better will come along
Each breakup is empowering
Broken
That’s what they call it
As if it were a bone
Or a toy to be played with
Disposable
As if my heart weren’t a muscle
But I don’t feel broken
I feel whole
Fully and completely lost
This is just another love poem
Nothing too exciting
Just a lost soul grasping to words
To try and pull himself out of the dark
Love? dark?
Didn’t expect those words together?
Or maybe you did
I began to write this poem
Telling myself it would be the last
The last one I wrote to you
The last one I wrote because of you
Your final one
But I lied
I realize now
I will never understand what makes me a second class human being
What makes my heart so breakable, so fragile in nature
I will never understand why the hammers choose me
Choose to destroy everything I have left
Empty
This is the best way I can describe how I feel right now
How I feel knowing that it’s over
That our adventures are over
That the plans we made will never come to fruition
Why does loving you feel so different
Feel so natural?
So unnatural?
So…. Conflicting?
Why does loving you feel like bees in my stomach
Like fireflies in my heart
Like ants under my skin?
I spent so long worried about what I could give
Whether I was giving enough
How many people I was giving to
Pieces of myself
Breaking apart
Little by little
Piece by piece
At what point will I stop loving you?
Will it be like sun setting after a long day?
Will the sun rise again for that matter?
Or maybe it will be like a match burning out.
Like the sun and moon
endlessly chasing after one another
giving warmth, one moment
a piercing bone chilling cold in the next
i chase after you still
my voice reaches out,
but I am not heard
My heart is severely scared, my mind feels the burns of the rusty chains weighing them down… there’s no escape from my mental scars I mean.. metal bars…times you can’t see clear because vision is clouded by the fog of time.
It's truly a talent of mine
seeing the best in the worst people
drawing love from unloving people
convincing myself of
impossibility
It's a talent of his
to deny himself of goodness and love
Imagine growing up feeling broken
Broken like a clock stuck at night
Afraid of words that you’ve spoken
Or fearful of those that you might
Imagine stealing a glimpse at redemption
After you I spent years looking for love.
For someone to fix what had been broken
But I was wrong.
If you look for love when you are broken,
All you will find is broken love.
moments made me love you
these moments
meant nothing to you
but still at the end of the day
im still
glad i loved you
Frost encumbered
yet sitting in the sun
the green grass glows.
Beautiful to the world
but look inside,
its heart froze.
Damaged I am.
Broke I am.
Numb I can be.
Anger and sadness can consume me.
The light.
Very settle starlight.
Shone on me.
It was genuine and calming.
For your brokenness that clings to me
In my openness so ceaselessly
Relaying all the meanings, forever afraid
Newer times found me just as disdained as I found them
Mood indigo farewell blues, I'm in love with my sadness
Just as much as I'm in love with you
You gave me wings, and broke them.
Then begged me not to fly.
you might not have caged me.
but you taught me not to try.
I feel so fake,
My heart has been replaced,
With a void Full of pain and hate,
Ill be okay...im not okay,
When I'm with you
i feel im out of place,
But girl you have to see
I let you,
I loved you,
and you
decided
to break me.
So as I build myself back up
I pray you work hard to become the man I know you can be.
One I deserve,
For every time I built that shining castle made of glass
The winds of fate would blow again
And shatter it to ash
The gleaming shards that shine so bright
Reflect my hopes and dreams
If I had the strength to make it through another day,
Maybe I would.
But today I'm too weak to even cry.
Trust me, I've tried.
If I had the hope that life might improve,
Maybe I'd pray.
Searching for a way to see.
Reaching out for some kind of mercy.
Kneeling before God, I plead,
Please awaken me from this dream.
Searching for something about which to dream.
As your birthday approaches,
The tears get harder to hold back,
As I look back on my motives,
Remembering when my heart was in tact.
That day that I broke your heart,
I also destroyed mine,
What if we suddenly awoke,
Realized it'd all been a dream?
What kind of feelings would be evoked;
For us what would it mean?
And if I could give back all this time,
Run back across the line,
The first funeral i attended
There wasn’t too much i understood about death
Relationships that were broken
Now mended
With shared sadness
Don't you dare believe I just 'left' you.My love will always burn inside of me for 'My Boo",For you're the first and only who I let take a chunk of me.It stabs me inside knowing I waited 20 years for an AIT fling,
My heart is small
It's little, a speck
I swear if I didn't know better
It was gone so I check,
It seems to be there
Time and time again,
But reality comes back
And the love was pretend
When you told me that you didn’t love me. I was not surprised. I did not stop to question how you couldn’t love someone as empty as myself. I was disappointed, I will admit it, but isn’t this always how it goes?
Sometimes she's trapped in a room surrounded by glass, she's dying inside and lets just say the person who put her there, well he doesent doesn't want her to last.
I wish there was a collection of words I could say to you. A phrase to stop the clock from ticking in the dark. To bring back the lights if just for a moment. Cast away the darkness so that I may see your face, one more time.
Your heart is a muscle, it contracts and relaxes again and again until the day that it doesn’t. Until the day you will no longer need it. But it is still a muscle
I met you,
I saw you,
I liked you,
I poured myself into a mold that I thought you would want.
You met her,
You saw her,
You liked her,
You poured yourself into a mold you thought she would want.
i hope that someday i can change
not just for a moment
but true change
when i don’t feel these things
when i can overlook those words which have disrupted my peace
i thought i would feel peace
but all i feel is chaos
slipping deeper into the black
falling from anyone’s grasp
as the seconds continue to pass
She shines bright
Like the moon
Stars twinkling
In her eyes
And yet no one sees
That those stars
Are starting to
Imagine an Angel
That can never fly
That has always wanted to
But could never touch the sky
For her wings are broken
And burned to dust
Her wings are covered in stars
That shimmer like the Moon
Shining brighter than a thousand suns
They radiate with elegance and grace
Depression grips my wrist like a child in a storm
Holding me a hostage, in my head and in my dorm
Filling me with sadness that cannot be explained
Like my head is full of cannon balls and my ankles all but chained.
The familiar scratching at the inner linings of your throat like a cat scratching at the walls, screaming to be let out. The sensation of your airways closing like that time when a man you did not know choked you for reasons you did not know.
You broke me , with no remorse
Broken pieces , lonely people , sharing the same empty place - with a scenery so memorable it’s painted a home in my heart.
i drink to forget
so many things
i drink to forget
what you look like
what he looks like
what the inside of his car looked like
you promised we'd make it
your love, you promised you wouldn't fake it
the thought of me leaving, you said you could't take it
yet it was you who left
me in the place you promised i'd never be again
Poor ugly little girl
burn your lips with perfume
you mistaked as lipgloss
Poor naive little girl
just because he said
how beautiful you were
you have him the key
to your now
broken
i gaze into a mirror
and will the glass to shatter
so i can finally
see the unhidden
form of my soul
Ours is an untamed love
Fearsome
Crashing like the waves on the shore
Destructive
Our love is the wings of a dove
Uplifting
Pulling taut each heart string
Unbreakable
Bleeding hearts like broken glass
The only thing left to remember the past
Dripping down sidewalks like silicone tears
A face made of plastic to hide all your fears
The only person who can ever take away your humanity is you. So don’t let them.
You are more than what you tell yourself you are.
The world never stops moving, but you’re allowed to every once and a while.
Look a little closer. See behind his eyes of lies.
All they hold is despair, deceit, and despise.
He’s breaking into pieces. His heart is on the floor.
Breaking down behind hidden walls
secrets and lies every time I fall
letters and words that silencs stole
not knowing my worth every time I loose control
Love and hate I lost them both
That bottle sat there half empty,
atop my dresser where you left it.
I often looked at it with envy,
knowing that it touched your lips.
Some told me that the bottle was half full,
you left me with no goodbyes
you left me with no final words
will I see you again?
you left me to face this cruel world alone
you left me alone to continue battling
will I see you again?
you left me with no goodbyes
you left me with no final words
will I see you again?
you left me to face this cruel world alone
you left me alone to continue battling
will I see you again?
In the silent wilderness, wasn’t so silent
My thoughts racing threw my mind, they all seemed so blind.
As I claimed to be fine, my limits have now ultimately crossed the line.
I’m not really much of a poet
But know I can talk about a lot of crooked mess
Cuz u never know what you’re really capable of
Until you’re put thru the right test.
You aren’t ready to hear what I have to say
But I wasn’t ready to find out, so I’ll tell you anyway.
The past decade has done nothing but brainwash my heart and my soul
I did nothing but what I was told
I know what you are.
Mom
They asked me how I was affected
at the situations you exposed an reflected
I am broken, I am bruised,
I am tierd of being used.
Knowing you don't care about me anymore, hurts.
Knowing I will never be able to love you how I wanted to, hurts.
Why do I have to go through this pain?
I met a boy a late summer dayHe looked at me and refused to satWhat made him so unhappyHe's a blue boyCall him defensiveBut blue boy don't run from meThe help I give is for free
I felt you
and it scared me how much you could see
you were the first person to know what I'd been through
and you still wanted me?
I wasn't sure how to feel
I was okay onceI was able to make friends I was just a girlNow I am a broken girlI was happyI was braveI was just a girl Now I am a broken girl I was normal I was able to sort my feelings I was just a girl Now I am a broken girl I am not okayI am
If it only takes two to tango, then why do you need another dance partner? Are my steps not on time? Are we not following the same rhythm? Do I not move when you move? Or perhaps it’s you who can’t keep up with the beat.
i’m sort of writing but also i want to work on something not Broken Thrones but idk whether it should be Frosted Eyes or something else
I'm gay, I'm straight, I love, I hate, I appreciate I disrespect. I'm smart, I'm dumb. I feel but I'm numb, I fight but I fear. I seek, I hide I run but I stay in place. I won, I lost, I gave it my all. I gave nothing.
You know what they say
and you’ve heard what they’ve said
Go seize the day
Don’t stay home in bed
But my head is too heavy
And each move is a battle
My bones are not ready
You want me to feel broken
Alone, nowhere to go
I’ve heard the blades you’ve spoken
I have the scars to show
But I won’t stand by complacent
Won’t let you spread your hate
You hit me hard
You played your cards
You broke a glass
And caught the shards
you broke my heart
tore it apart
You left me here
Nowhere to start
So the story goes
I am drifting, a lonely piece of driftwood covered in pale moonlight on an open sea. I don’t know where I am going nor where I came from, but I am drifting. I feel hollow, empty like a piece of me is gone and it can’t be replaced.
I’ve been trying for weeks
But I can’t seem to find it
I’ve been biting my cheeks
like the idea is inside them
But the blood starts to pool
with its signature taste
I feel like a fool,
Yes I am broken, but I am not defeated. I am like a salmon breaking through the surface of the water in order to fight the current. I am a glow stick breaking in the hands of a child on a summer evening, spreading my light.
What if I could live in a world in which I never fell for you? What if I never fell for you? What if I never fall again? Never feel the scrape of my knees hitting earth again.
When I picture you. I see you in black and white.The sun is just breaking the day and your shuffling down the sidewalk in your usual manner.Drumming your fingers along the side of some graffiti stained building.
When I picture you. I see you in black and white.The sun is just breaking the day and your shuffling down the sidewalk in your usual manner.Drumming your fingers along the side of some graffiti stained building.
Our last dying rose
The thorns that hold the grace but
Love knows no way to survive because
a few days agoi wanted to sit down and write about how unappreciated you werenot that i changed my mind, noi still believe thatbut todaytodayi'm hurti'm hurt that
Stop, get out of my thoughts.
Get out of my mind.
I pushed you out for a reason.
I block your name out at the thought.
I still can’t help but flinch when I hear your name.
I am empty
Numb
My life is in shambles lying on the floor
I cannot move
Abandoned promises
Shattered dreams
The thought of you haunts me
Even when I sleep
The Heart You Broke
Just imagine if you were carrying the heart that you broke
Looking through red watery eyes, coughing on lies
How would you get over me?
You beat me,
You yelled in my face,
You slammed my head into the walls.
You broke my soul,
it came crumbling down
today.
I always said that I'd forgive you,
but I haven't,
If I've fallen
and I can't get up
will you save me?
Will you help me to stay strong?
If I've fallen
off the edge of the earth
will you help me?
Will you tell me
Condemned and Shunned,
My mind can function no longer.
Battered and bruised,
Like life on the battle field
It can fight no further.
You ask me to tell you when I realized I was growing up
Well that’s a complicated question
Cause I can say I was forced to grow up the moment my father decided to molest me from ages 5 to 13
There’s a billion stars in the sky
And only one moon.
It’s a gift to be alone,
But a price for solitude.
I am a garden.
This garden knows unrequited love.
This garden gives unconditional love, nonetheless.
Ripping and tearing bits and pieces out.
A bouquet of smiles and hope.
i am so afraid that all these
unfulfilled expectations,
meaningless romances,
broken promises,
are going to turn me so cold
that the next person that touches me
will freeze
all I can see is flashes in my head ,
Memories back when we were together
The world was so different.. for the first time,
We were just living for the hell of it,
Nothing to regret at all..
Part to whole
Less of a whole
Just filled with holes
Filled with parts that don’t fit.
What part am I
If I’m not even whole?
A letter to humanity,
With every new opening eye, I cry
A new sigh, a new eye
Born into this world
Into the flames of splendor do we find ourselves to be
All I feel is negativity. I love to go to school. Life out of school is too much to handle. I love Him. He is sweet and kind deep down. But, he is broken and lost. I am lost. I feel like the walls of my life are closing in on me.
You grip me in your hand
Holding onto my glass tight as if you knew it would be the last time you'd ever hold me.
With a smile on your face you throw me on the ground
Just to see if I'd break
and when I shattered
She stumbles in the darkness,
in search of the light.
But the sky had been empty for a while,
the stars could not hold on to it.
It is only her,
and the wind,
and the cold wetness on her cheeks.
I’ve fallen apart,
A million pieces in the floor.
Most of them are missing,
I can’t find them any more.
My pieces have been scattered,
I watched as my entire soul crossed a threshold.
Time slowed and I saw his face.
It was him.
They said I’d never see him again,
It’s hard to admit you’re just as broken
Just as haphazardly strewn everywhere on the insides
Hard to admit you’re like us
Crying ourselves to sleep
Unnoticed in the darkness
He shook me furiously and the thunder shook the house surrounding my fragile skeleton.
~awatr
I can feel the pain
sucking marrow from my bone
leaving a blinding headache behind
wishing for the pain to stop
Yearning for the ache to fade
Hoping for a moment of bliss
To come and wrap me in a hug
The night is my closest friend
But all of that is pretend
For in the waking hours
It then sours
I shower twice a day
Hoping that maybe I can wash off my stubborn filth
Because every day, I look in this mirror
Only to see the mistakes that I’ve made
I shower twice a day
Hoping that maybe I can wash off my stubborn filth
Because every day, I look in this mirror
Only to see the mistakes that I’ve made
Its scribbled in my head
Dripping with blood
Mess
That's what I am
A girl my past self would not be proud of
Me
A liar
A mess
Constantly depressed
And upset
Cuts on my thighs
This little light in me
Lost between the forgotten colours
Stuck in the never ending waters
Drowned with the words in the wind
Cries with rays and lightining and swords
This little light in me
There's a lot going in your mind
Wishing you could be away from all this
The feelings that drowns out your cries
The confusion path trails down
Leaving drops of years for remembrance
I look across
The room,
And feel the loss
Of the love we once consumed.
Your smile,
As wide once before.
I know its been a while
I shouldve given you more.
For what’s darkness,
But a contrast to light?
The only reason light can exist
Is because there is darkness for it to illuminate.
Light heals,
Bleeding, crying and hiding.
Scared of the train that went past your house at exactly midnight,
but really just scared of everything.
You were supposed to run wild and build blanket forts.
One day clowns weren't scary
One day the dark was an escape
One day being buried was peaceful
One day I clung to them
I needed them
I never know what you are.
Because every time I see you, it hurts a little less.
You are everything and nothing
Everywhere and no where
I never know what you are.
Maybe I’m in denial
Falling in love with him was not my first mistake, but my biggest one.
I mean, I could have easily said, "No" to his sea foam eyes,
But they just sucked me in like a tsunami in the ocean of my heart.
Another painful shatterment
I should have known
But.....did you know
My heart is weak
Blows, like punches to the stomach
I should have kept the lock
The one I placed on my heart
My vision darkens.
My stomach churns.
My heart races.
You saw my pain but you used me anyway.
~awatr
never look down
just close your eyes
you know nothing matters.
through the mask of your lies.
are you a robot?
a corpse,
or a shell?
then how do you know?
how to act alive so well?
“Almost”
An adjective meaning very near or not quite.
What a terrible word that holds a painful truth.
I dread these six letters, as anyone would.
You were wildfire.
Someone lit you and left you to burn.
So when i came along,
Your ashes and flaming embers,
landed upon my skin and ignited me.
Your smoke wafted into my lungs
Broken and Bruised
Internal damage
Love weighs heavy on the heart
But how will I manage
I gave it my all
Tried to win her back
Things started to change
Then we fell off track
I am broken.
far beyond repair.
I am broken.
and no one seems to care.
I am broken.
but I hide behind a mask.
I am broken.
but no one ever asks.
I am broken.
Breakfast
Personal exercises
Homework
Lunch
Checking Vitals
Mario Kart
Drawing
the laughing stops as the sun sets
Just a reconnection. Please, it is all I ask.
Just one spark could set ablaze our past.
We could be something again.
But this time, we’ll last.
I lift the taboo
To speak about
The greatest loss of them all
The loss of a best friend
To talk about the pain
Without people making it seem
Like they can't break your heart
To hurt, to love, to live.
It’s all part of life right?
But what is this so called thing “life”?
we all compare things and say “that’s life”
what is life? Is it the fact that we breath. Is it that we hurt?
Why?
Why must I always remember the good times?
The way you stroked my head when we were laid up together.
The kisses you planted on my lips
Why?
Instead of the times you left me, heartless
holding my handi was on top of the worldthe lights all arounddefining what surrounds
the feelings that I have for youin this monthly dreamwalking down the streetnever thinking about the reality
I hope nobody trusts you againlike I did you
I pray you never hurt another personlike you did me
You carved into my soulAnd have taken peicesThey will never grow back
Late at night, the broken spirits sit on barstools, hunched over the counter like question marks
They ponder their place in this world
They drown their sorrows in bourbon to escape the outer flood attempting to engulf them
She was drawing with her Reeves HB sketch pencil in her 2010 Strathmore sketchbook that her grandparents had given her last Christmas. She had drawn his eyes with great precision, and the bump on his nose bent just right, his lips were textured as
There's a place for everything and everything in its place..
Well, where do I put the memories of the past I can't erase?
I'm the cold air that you breath
The heat of hell beneath your feet
Now I'm here and then I'm there
I was your happiness but now I'm despair
From a racing car at the dawn of life
Gone too far from your glory. Often believed in my own story. Day by day, my path began to darken. Involved in all the wrong deals. Soon, I began to realize what I had sacrificed. God, I need your grace. Openly I accept you with obedience. On ever
I haven't felt so relieved in my life.
I want you gone forever.
Leave and don't return.
You asked me if I remembered
all the good times we had,
and I do.
I am shattered glass
I am shards covering the floor
Fools throw Elmers glue at me
I stare in disbelief
Elmer's glue
I am shattered glass
I am shards covering the floor
Fools throw Elmers glue at me
I stare in disbelief
Elmer's glue
Tayo.Tanging apat na letra para lang mabuo, Ano nga ba tayo? ay Teka Wala nga palang tayo Ang meron Lang Ay ikaw at ako.
One dayA girl was flying, with wings made of dreams. She crafted these wings one day.
As I look upon the shattered glass of a mirror,
I realize that I am looking at a reflection of my heart.
I see how broken it really is
and know that each blow that hits me makes me stronger.
I would never believe that the first thing
I thought about you
Was in fact
The only thing I now think about you.
You used to roll your index finger,
Slowly,
Definitely at me,
Almost saying,
Roses are red and wilted too, I've tried and I've tried to please you, built you a home with my sweat and blood, and in return get treated like crud, I gave you all of the riches and gold, you promised me together we'd grow old, I've tried and tri
She looks at the mirror
with glistening tears
staring at what nobody else could ever see.
Scars invisible to the world
mar all of her thoughts in regard
to what she could be
and what she sould see
Rain,
wet droplets hit my face
That time of year surely brings me faith
As the water weighs me down I pray
that maybe I'll be able to touch your base
I trusted you
but you broke it
I gave my all to you
and you accepted it
yet you let it all crumble like it was nothing
its confusing
but the trust was lost
Sweat,
I feel it dripping down, wet.
Heavy breathing
I close my eyes, hoping it’s just me dreaming.
Softly touches me,
I hold him tightly...
Trapped,
I don’t have tattoos to hide my skin
I use them to show what I represent within
As my body is the tongue that my mind speaks
And the stories I have on my body are still incomplete.
Within the clouds
I find nothing
But within your voice
I see something
In the distance,
The dark is near
But in my heart
The stars are clear
Years have passed and my heart still yearns,
For a love, which is a love that hurts worse
I reach out to draw you in
But get hurt as I learn that you seek lonliness.
But rather than sitting all alone,
Whatever it may be
The person who misses it is not me,
But the one who gave it away.
-G
As my eyes rain this cold, wet sorrow...
My heart yearns for a better tomorrow
To feel lips brushed against mine
Gently pressed, one of a kind.
Yes, the cold is trapped in my sweater
I was in love with you before even knowing your existence.In your eyes I saw the meaning of love when you first looked at me. And I was wondering how? And why Me?
Ikaw at ako, paano ko ba ito sisimulang isasalaysay?
Sa yugto ba na kung saan tayong dalawa ay nagmamahalan?
Sa yugto ba na kung saan may lamat ng namagitan?
The beautiful teacup sits on the window ceil, catching everyone’s eye.
Her beautiful painted face, is all they need to see
To them she looks happy
This teacup is me
But if you come closer and pick her up
Take my hand
It doesn't feel the same
Cause in my dreams, you always stay
Never close, but never far away
Hold me in your heart.
These thoughts that lingers in my head I cannot explain
Only These thoughts are encrypted by him himself
He who’s not powerful or mighty
But me who’s brittle and broken
My heart breaksEvery time you smileMy mind hazesEvery time you speakMy body numbs Every time you touch meMy soul leaves Every time you kiss me
But
Bang, Bang.
You Shot Me Down.
You broke my heart and let me drown.
You lost sight of what we had.
You didnt care if it hurt so bad.
We Fell In Love In A Hopeless Place.
It's suffocating me
Each brief
Poisonous word that comes out her mouth
is like a dagger plunged into my heart
Here lies the time of which it commenced
The days past as every sand
Of the hourglass
In a fell swoop of descending
If the cosmos were mine to mix
And the beauties thereof, mine to possess
It started with a kiss, something magical and great
Yet, quickly turned into a barrel of hate.
Avoidance of each other, so vile
And arguments for miles and miles.
A bright love now flickering dim,
Having a broken heart makes it so hard to breathe
I begged you to stay, but I ended up having to watch you leave
Best friends? Best friends till the end?
I guess with time my broken heart will mend
My family and I have been through some rough times, but them kicking me out is the worst part
They left me confused, feeling unwanted and with a broken heart
I'm going to have to find new ways to let all of this pain out
My heart started racing when his name popped up on my phone’s screen.
I flash back to the many nightmares of him hunting me.
I'm caught in a state of fear, attempting to read his mind,
bodily betrayal
my fault
still inside me
years after the assault
complicated nonconsent
complicated discontent
wasn’t drugged
Darling
I am so broke
And dead
That we dont even
Fit together
When we meet
Under the bed sheets
Hidden in the dark
Trying to find
What's lost
Trying to fix
What's ruined
In every night, there is a morning.
In every morning, there is a night.
But in the darkness of every night, there will never be a light.
Light outside snapped and dipped
around the old stone
and the
clipped clean manicured lawn.
i had to look up to meet your wild hurt gaze
your fury at the top of the staircase
above me
“I’m alone and I don’t even care anymore.”
Is what I have convinced myself.
When can I stop pretending?
“They lied to me!”
She screams to herself.
They promised!
That they would be there for her.
You left me so quickly.
Am I useless? Do you not need me?
The hole in my heart is growing,
I'm turning hollow.
Come back! I need you!
Please!
A mask is what we wear.
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes.
On the mask is a smile.
Forced. Real. Unsure. Scared. Alone. Broken.
Why am I chained down by my suffering and misery?
Please, can someone set me free?
Can you send me to my eternal resting place?
To be free from my suffering.
She gave him everything she had.
Her body, soul, and heart,
She thought they would be together forever.
Her eyes folded into her face,
I'm always smiling.
I am beautiful.
My heart is not broken.
I'm fine.
These are not tears.
I do not miss you,
nor do I need you.
I am lifeless.
A heart without a beat.
A body without a soul.
A face without a smile.
Ripped of my innocence and left with the empty shell of who I used to be.
I have grown more emotion,
as I fill my empty void with memories.
My childhood has been replaced
with the deep though of death.
I've said goodbye 1 to many times.
Please don't haunt me my dear sister.
My heart used to be whole.
But now it’s ripped apart,
It feels physically broken.
Will it ever heal?
My joy used to be full.
But now it’s disappeared,
It seems out of reach.
Why do we come to meet people
That are just going to leave?
Why do we get close to most,
Because in the end it's just going to hurt.
Yes, the time with them are memories
That can never be replaced,
Daddy's little princess Mommy's little girl Mommy and Daddy Fight after fight Night after night Daddy's little monster Mommy's little burden Mom had her drunk nights Dad had his rage fights Go to mommy in tears Learning to suck it up Tears falli
Engraving on the hilt inlaid with gold
Newly daubed with tar of flesh and bone
A ruddy smearing on the blade
Tearing ‘tween muscle, marrow
A carving of the heart
I believe we may have missed it
the year of reconciliation
The prospect of harmony, of order
Just a smidgen from symmetry
the precarious plane tipped
His chest was a battlefield. Logic v.s Fear. His chest tightened with every step that he let mark Walk from. His body a rickashay of bullets. Rattled by Marks earthquake steps. Silence is more defining than Erwin Screams.
My Uncle joined the circus,
which is okay,
I guess,
if you like that sort of thing.
Truth is,
that sort of thing really
creeps
me
out,
like how
Lunchables
I wish I knew
How to fix things
So that way they
Wouldn't get to the point
They were beyond repair
Whether it be
Technology
Jewlery
Plants
My Relationships
Myself
Hand in hand,
heart by heart,
Bodies intertwined.
You were the wind beneath my wings,
but now you've left me to fall, bones broken
and alone I will stay until my
grave has been dug
I wonder if you know that I love you
With all of my broken, twisted love,
With all of the love you threw back at me,
And all the indifference you used to drown me.
I fight the love you give me;
I am no one special
You are no one special
Most people can’t handle that
Can you?
Kissed a guy in his 20s
She was 17
please dont leave me
please dont go
i need you
i want you
i miss you
you out of all people I hoped wont leave
you not like the rest, you were there when i needed you
I am constantly trying to remain sane but the status of
our relationship is driving me over the edge
or maybe i am already over the edge and the breeze of
I'm sorry, but who are you to judge a book by its cover?
I could give you the world..
BUT
I'm an infant so I guess I can't light your world up.
I'm sorry but who are you to walk away from me?
Little do you know
How I'm breaking while you fall asleep
Little do you know
I'm still haunted by the memories
Little do you know
To my before me,
I miss you terribly
The naivety you had
the light that bestowed upon your eyes
I let him latch onto my fantasy
I let him become a dream, I could no londer touch
He became a delusion of my conscience
He was everything I painfly molded him into
you broke me
broken inside I now am
you touched me
in places others can not reach
my mind
places I did not want the world to see
you told me to let you in
the light house
Dear Katherine,
My friend. My love. My life.
It’s was a new year.
I was starting over.
Not sure who to trust.
Not sure where to go.
Then I saw you.
Recognized your face.
Dear my love,
I saw you today, you spoke to me and my universe turned to align with yours.
I turned into the blushing bashful schoolgirl I though I would never be
I DONT WANT TO
So don’t
But I can’t
Can’t? Good!
No I can’t not
I can’t can’t
I can’t not do
What I dont want to.
But you try
Do I try?
When I try
I fail
To my loved one,
Days have passed by where I constantly think of you.
Of our love that was once like crazy glue.
Lately, I have felt so alone and distraught.
That love has become an afterthought.
Was it my fault that you didn't tell me I was spending too much time away?
Was it my fault I couldn't read your mind?
Maybe I'm the fool.
He called me family. He told me family is forever and so were we. He told me no one will ever love you as much as I do. I believed the pretty lies and was a pretty girl. I kept him happy and lost myself in the process.
you say you love me but what is love
love isn't bruised knuckles and fights at night at least I don't think it is
love isn't pinning me down under your knees and yelling at me and me begging you to let me go
my mom's gf and her roommate would have parties almost every night and every weekend
random guys and girls would come over to drink the night away and that's when I'd want to just sleep my life away
Dear Old Me,
Hello back there.
It's me, your future self.
Go sit down,
Prepare to frown
But know it won't last long.
I know you are
So innocent,
Though you may be rotten.
They say it's beautiful
They say it's gorgeous
Until they've touched the thorns
They've been hurt by the pretty rose
Why does it bring pain?
They say I'm beautiful
They say I'm gorgeous
I was trying to be conscientious to not think about you,
But after closing myself off in a personal quarantine for so long,
I couldn’t help but start reminiscing about our relationship.
You have fallen too far down the rabbit wholeyou couldnt see the world above, you went too fastNow you are broken and your pieces are too far apartand there is
A bundle of pieces; gears take over your heart.
No flesh, no bones, just a pile of useless parts.
Every morning, first thing, don't forget to press start.
Otherwise, you are isolated- God forbid you're set apart.
I am afraid to love something that is so pure yet wrong
To be a bird flying against a current going To Who knows where
You know how in college being rejected is emotionally easier than being waitlisted. Being waitlisted toys with your heart— you were good, but just not good enough. Wait and see if you finally make the final cut.
You've read my secrets to the class,
Now I'm drowning in my tears,
Once again I have no trust,
For I now have a fear of being love,
Its your fault I'm broken into shreads,
Dear Love,
For someone so nurturing to others
You sure are disloyal to me
Why is it
That you come so
Faithfully.
How many times do I have to slit my wrists
to get rid of the poisoned blood in my veins.
It was once believed most issues could be cured
by draining the infected blood.
So how many scars must my body endure
My chest is tight
My throat is closing
My stomach is in a knot
I feel my heart breaking
I close my eyes
I feel you, next to me
You are noiseless
You are cold
I said i’d leave you alone
But nights like these make me want to talk to you.
You’re the piece of my youth & desperation
That god no longer wanted to carry.
My mind is littered with thoughts of you
a buildup of constant doubts
complications in the code
the manifestation of our story
To the boy I loved in high school,
I remember the day you told me
Everyone has an addiction
for some it’s smoking
and others it’s binge drinking
My addiction wasn’t nicotine or alcohol
dear love,
you are a nightmare
dressed as a miracle.
you are misleading.
you are troublesome.
but somehow,
you always seem beautiful.
you always seem to pull me in
Its frustrates me.
It pisses me off.
The way she can say
She wants boyfriend
When I was a great one
But no she dumped me
Cuz she was gonna cheat on me.
Like what the fuck
A Letter to an Absent Father
Dear father- or rather to the man
Who simply donated DNA.
I'm not sure if I can call you "Dad"
Anymore because a father is
Dear Passat,
Or should I say Piss Ant-
You left as fast as you came,
but aged, as though every wheel rotation
was the mark of a century.
I wasn't the first to own you,
That empty-headed smell lingers in the house chanting his name as it swims through the chilling breeze. His name. His name spits out of mouths and into my ears.
Oh it's you.
Hello again! I know, it's been so long, it's so nice to see you!
What do you think? I've barely been holding myself together.
Are you kidding, I've never been better! How's the wife?
In the wind of despair,
my soul flies free.
Forever lost in the pit,
a maze becomes my heart.
Dear mother I know you didn't mean to
I know you didn't want it to hurt me
Dear mother why couldn't you see my pain
Why couldn't you hear my cry
Didn't you know I had a storm inside
It was all just a dream,
That I once thought it wasnt make believe.
Your lips against mine went from the moon and back,
Every touch planted on my body, made me feel complete.
Every word filled me more with joy.
How are you feeling?
Alive.
Alive?
Not the exciting breath of living life to the fullest alive,
but the complete and infinite lack of any feeling left alive.
I count the stars,
splattered across the black marble counter,
waiting for something.
Waiting for the light of morning,
waiting for some meaning,
waiting to see something more.
see that look in her eye
torn up broken wings
how can she even fly
the hate her life brings
as days and days go by
Believed in you like a religion But too bad people change every season Did things for you, some hasn't even been mentioned.And held you down, to now from the beginning.Dreaming about mansions and cooking breakfast in the kitchen. No one was for yo
I didnt know what love was until i met him.
I only read about it in stories and dreamed of it.
I dreamt of a happy ending
I didn’t know at first.
I made a promiselong agoin the riveras we rowed.I said to youI'd never cryand crossed my heartand hoped to die....We got olderas all do,and distance spread
There was a room, and in that room were three things. One was a lightbulb that was off so no one could see what was going on. Two was a chair that sat alone in the corner with no one there to watch.
We didn't need time
neither did we need someone else
I needed you by my side
and you wished to be here now.
But it is not my fault
neither is it yours
this happened how it did
Today I saw the grass shake.
It was cold outside.
But so was I.
I was only shaking on the inside though.
I kept a cold exterior
That’s what made me strong...
…right?
You think you know what lies behind,
The the walls I’ve built up in my mind.
There’s a deep darkness inside,
It was the words of the broken
that spoke through me, fast &
rapid - a tidal wave rushing through
my shredded memories of her weathered face
lying on that broken bed.
All alone.
People love to hurt. We must because we do things That only hurt ourselves.We try and fix other’s damage, Only to mutilate ourselves. Trying to fix someoneIs the most damaging thing we can do. Because we might actually fix them,But they break us.
We were born and raised in a society
Where our worth is determined by our waistlines,
Where the size of our butts are more important
Than the size of our brains.
my heart has been raised in the dark
the light was a foreign feel
it was too late to stop the start
to my broken heart it was surreal
when he looked into my soul
it was like an electric shock
Broken heart, broken lies, suicide
Beautiful butterflies with wings torn by silver thorns
The white rose turns red by the color of her blood
The stars fall with her tears
As the sky fills with her worst fears
I’m with You.
Entwined within the gnarled grasp of somewhere that is not quite Rockland.
It is darker, for the place that confines us rests snug within our skulls
I left town
even though I loved him
because I had no other choice
than to follow the path
I was told I had to take
and my heart shattered into
a million pieces
but I held it together
Because I Love You
I protected you from bullies since we were little.
"Crybaby" "Loser" "Whiny" "Weak"
They called you all this and more, but I stopped it
Because I Love You.
Classes separated and we drift,
Because I love you
Take
My
Heart
Because Love is
patient, kind, and humble
Please
Don't
Start
Because Love doesn't
Big hands,
Soft like
Clouds that
Quickly turned
Into violent
Fists scarred
With the
Old memories
Of us.
Titanium armor over a soft heart.
A wall of brick in front of the armor.
Stoic face, glassy stare, and a slouched posture.
Always alone, forever quiet.
Isolated and alone.
Phone notifications empty.
There are these people that you call friends.
You can list them down in the order of who you’ve known longest.
Or maybe who you wish you could forget the fastest.
When it comes to friends,
she worried about him
as his family drama drew his cigarette closer
as the smoke filled his lungs, time kept getting slower.
as the aroma of nicotine filled the air, she could feel and smell his hurt and despair.
For me,
you were a miracle,
a secret,
untouchable, youthful,
my favorite metaphor,
but it turned into the darkest poem,
you took what I had to give,
until there was nothing left,
Broken Fixers.
This life isn't broken.
It was never a working thing.
The people didn't know.
They cry
Your lies are bigger than your fears
The voice of your heart which you can't hear
Secrets were never meant to be kept
But now your soul is trapped
The incapability of writing,
On par with the emotionless feeling
Of seeing your (once) loved one,
Loving someone new.
The unbearable pain of
Trying to brainwash your mind
See thee now, who hast betrayed
The ways of old, the sacred sage
The time that flows in strands, a stream
Its silver waters under your light doth gleam
You robed in white with flowers crowned
What do you say to a person you never talk to?
A quick hey?
A silent nod?
What do you say when this person is your mother?
What do you say to the father who wasn't there,
But is now deceased
Sleepless for the reason of no more dreams.
For the reason of not having anything to think about.
For the reason of only having nightmares and why things won't happen anymore.
Happiness is sold to the past.
You left me,
yes it hurts,
your the only one who really did love me?
yes I'm still in love.
you gave me your all,
you choice the drugs.
yet, your still in my thoughts.
"Why am I so feared?"
I ponder this ages. I ponder this for years.
I am the "Evil Queen," they say.
"Snow White, the poor girl!" they say.
I wasn't always this way...so obsessed with beauty and such
i am young
i live and breath
with days to come
and time i don't need
my bones will break
with fickle force
and a constant requirement
to make a choice
in my youth,
such a simple time
with love in your eyes
it was but a rhyme
filled with sorrowed sighs
Ivory Skin
Satin Sheets
You were MY in
But you never released
Once upon a time...
Not so very long ago
Before the wind had come to blow
A girl who lived with long blond hair
Came to finally see the snow.
To her delight, and her mother's fright
It has started, the final battle.
This struggle of emotions,
that slowly takes over
Everything comes to halt, a stand still,
a dead puls, all the struggle
But it should not hurt this much.
Standing in a mirror trying to change myself imageLiving with the guilt that daddy couldn'tFinishEvery blow to the brain was a reminderMy momma fell in loveWith a coward Scared to admit he was broken
And there were stars in her eyes That glimmered like the waves of the ocean Until one by one people came and snuffed a light out Leaving her eyes as dark as a black hole Instead of as bright as the sun
I know you don't want to talk to me because you need to breathe
but I'm restless without you
they say the only ones up at 4am are the loved and the lonely
but I'm broken
You see
"I'm sorry if I was sharp with you:
but it's just because you descovered something broken."
I'm sorry if I ever yelled at you."
but it was just to cover that I'd flinched as you'd spoken."
When I was young I would avoid the crack in the sidewalk
I used to think I had OCD… My need to not step on cracks in sidewalks consumed me.
One day gone.
And not even that.
I miss you already.
My throat is sore,
From having to make up for my lungs
My whole chest is left weak
from the gaping hole in my heart.
i’m focused the
Computer not
comprehending
whether or not i
am truly thinking
about what i am
I let you inside of my brain,
didn't understand why you caused me pain,
I find myself waking up in the middle of the night,
Trying desperately to feel alright,
There is lead in my bones,
chapter two: mario kart 8
my mother said goodbye to me and walked out ahead of my father.
i suppose she couldn't handle seeing how easily i was able to belong and blend
It’s fragile
Breakable
Something that shatters
Shatters with a touch
A word
A thought
Doubt
Self-doubt
It eats at it
Like a cat
Plays with its food
Like tiny voices
I am sewing a dresswith the thread of strength,And knots of ambitions,And when it’s ready, Then will iron itwith the remission,I am sewing my broken soul!
(This poem was written in response to the murders of Carter Davis and Natalie Henderson in 2016.
The students lived in my local area. I hope they find peace in heaven.)
I taught you how to love me and instead you took the information to use it for herThat's all I was for youA source on how to become better for someone elseIm a used book that got put back on the shelfEverything I ever showed you on how to love was
I want to live till thirty
Before my bones crumble into dust
I want to live till thirty
Before I stare out of ancient eyes
I want to die young
Before the pain becomes unbearable
we started off great
we started off happy
but you started us off with someone else
we started off together
now i feel we are going to end apart
separate
you'll be fine
ill be dying inside
I stood in the spot where we'd make out in my kitchen; where my parents couldn't seeI felt the loneliness in the lack of your presence and couldn't help but think How did we get to this? I thought what we had was love I thought you wanted
I never asked for it..
you say I'm nothing like your ex's
but that's a lie..
im a bit of both...
I hurt you...
and I cheated...
I didn't want to
I was lost at thought
The pain of the cuts in the bleed and the bleeding in my cuts, the sorrow's rush. Explain to what is happening, this unknown feeling of the pulse of a dying heart. Because I gave you my all. What makes it worse is that you left me to fall.
You and I we´re made of broken glass
broken dreams
broken hope
bitter dust
burnt to ashes
stuck in a timelapse
of what we could have been
could´ve done
should´ve said
Today in the world,
People are obsessed with diamonds and gold.
Children forced to sit still,
Forced to bend to their parents will.
Here in a room, with a glass full of liquor.
And crushed to know, I desperately do need her.
Standing there, staring right towards a mirror.
Feeling helpless, like a tragic bum filled with anger.
Here on this broken ground I stand,
Flipping through the pages of history books.
I see evidence of God's loving hands,
Over a land that God they forsook.
America the beautiful,
Half past twelve
Ticking began
Surrounded by waves
In lengths that fade
Silence screamed
And my heart gave way
To the beast inside
Never felt this way
One more moment
Frozen
One more moment
Paralyzed
Break the ice and the silence
Break the silence so deafening
I'm your broken mirror
Look into me here
I'm your broken mirror
I spent so many years with an empty feeling.
With you ,
I was filled.
I was whole.
I realize,
you were always that missing part of my soul.
Now that you are gone,
The betrayal runs deep.
He's done unspeakable things
He's torn lives apart
Yet I still hear wedding bells ring
They ring within my heart
Oh, love, you make me foolish
The lack of you makes me weak
Once upon a past
We were inseparable
Like light and day
Like two trees
That breeds true
With overflowing gaiety
Sharing a common root.
Oh, it was the finest blend!
I- am who I- am
I am thunder- and I am lightning-
I crackle, pop, and sizzle.
Nothing can phase me
You insult me I bear it-
You- hate me I- don't give-
A damn!
You see me now, I- still don't give-
Desire. My desire. Your desire.
Desire.
Something that can hold you so tight but will so easily make you lose your mind.
Desire.
Broken to Beautiful
This world is
Broken
Sadness
Floats the air like smoke from a cigarette
Depression
Upon the past year great strife in few ways,
More postives than negatives but still shaded in grey,
The deepest cuts done to my hearts shortened days,
Once abounding in glory now shortened and paved,
Good friends are the ones that give you Russian dolls that
Come apart
Because they know that's how you're feeling
That you need a visual
Of the inside of your own heart
You ask me if I'm sad;I tell you I'm ok. You ask me if I'm mad; I tell you I'm ok. You ask me if I'm happy; I tell you I'm ok. I fake a smile everyday; To show you I'm ok.
Because I loved you
We ended as quick as the ocean blue
I quickly lost how to be true
Everything around me crumpled and was swept away by a ferocious wind that howled as it blew
I am broken.
A billion shattered pieces scattered…
Who will put them back together?
Perhaps no one will……..
Shall I remain as broken as this tortured world?
We shared moments of happiness together
We planned our future
We thought that we would be forever
We loved like each day was our last on this earth
We thought nothing would ever get in our way
call me out of the shadows i call home
call me out of this place that stripped me to the bone
call me out of the burning fire of life
call me away from the blade of a knife
You deserve to rot in hell like a Cracked, rotten forgotten egg in the middle Of a field on a scorching hotTexas summer day.My mother, my caretaker, the woman (figure out a transition) That has made mistakes, trustedYou with her freedomMr wright o
You deserve to rot in hell like a Cracked, rotten forgotten egg in the middle Of a field on a scorching hotTexas summer day.My mother, my caretaker, the woman (figure out a transition) That has made mistakes, trustedYou with her freedomMr wright o
In this house, we eat supper as a family, no elbows on the table,
But remember, keep your emotions neutral, that way you won’t be called mentally unstable,
What is it like to watch me cry?
What is it like to wipe away the tears from my eyes?
Do they match in color?
I can tell you what it is like
To watch you cry
Every heave of your chest
Life is funny at times we have our ups and we have our down There is so much to be said and done yet nothing comes out We grow to adore and love someone, then we find out that it’s not reciprocated
I was taught how to love but not how to stop.
I was taught how to dream but only round the clock.
I was taught how to eat but not how to be petite.
I was taught manners but not the standards.
You cannot choose
stuck in between
black and white
a winter day
a long piece
of charcoal
old movies
dusty shirts
pencil lead
staples in
a stapler
elephants
Soaring spindles, and tall towers
Crafted by divine powers
The architects were gods they say
When they built on that long ago day
I don't know what I don't know.That is why I never asked questions. All I ever wanted to do is "go with the flow",But then all at once I learned. About you and him,And you and that night,About you and everything I don't agree with.That day felt li
Many things in this house are broken
this family is not one of them.
The stove door is off the hinge,
the lights are dim,
and we need propane.
Mom is well though,
and Sisters off flying planes.
Through the silence I hear the screams
A picture of a perfect family lying in a broken frame
A lifetime of happiness
A lifetime of lies
"If possible I never would have married him"
I'm running out of time
To find a rhyme
That tells you are the one.
You take my heart
You break it apart
Yet you are the one for me.
Promises are easily broken,
Trust me,
I should know,
Promises are meant to be kept,
Not broken,
Like broken glass,
Into all these shards,
Cutting you,
And reminding you that
You speak words at me,
but words mean little.
You tell me things I don't want to hear,
things that break me down.
You tell me things I only dreamed of hearing,
my stone, my stone
oh my cold stone heart
why are you callaous and set apart?
my black, my black
oh my shriveled black heart?
why when I need you, do you depart?
my hard, my hard
They say beauty is painAnd she's beautifully brokenShe's left hallow and emptyBut her thoughts go unspoken
A friendship so beautiful,
The world's eyes are forever searching,
But fail to find, rendered sightless by greed.
The hatred tries to bleed into, incompetent.
A home broken like an ocean floor of glass,
Its 3:00am and here i am still awake
I keep crying and overthinking, but most of all regret
You're even in my dreams, thats why I can't sleep
I know that i'm fucked up, and I know i've made bad choices
I am just a traveler in want of a little rest
I had been blending through a city of the oppressed
Dimming me down to the filthy ground
Screaming at me, they surround
Words are like water. They flow from the mouth as if it were a waterfall.
They cause rain in the form of teardrops to roll down the mountains
This is what I have left,
The last connection to who I used to be.
I write to remember,
I write to forget,
I write to find where eternity meets the end.
I write about hope,
Long since lost
It's too bad I'm not a mas-o-chisttie me down like i asked-for-this
I'm screamingI'm strandedAbdicatedAbandoned
No. Free. Will.
I shattered silently,
And nobody noticed.
Not that I want anyone to notice,
So why am I writing it out?
Perhaps it is to escape,
And have the pieces elsewhere.
Perhapse it is so I can see each piece,
It felt like we were stepping out of a coming-of-age fantasy
An assault on my senses, the sensation was too much to bear.
We walked into the cracked pavement that was washed under the sun
With each heavy breath, the world slows down around me
With each number added to the board, the fire inside burns higher
With every footstep, my legs turn into wheels on a downward slope
Smokey room filled with chills,
Empty bottles, and pills.
Today's fears are tomorrows tears.
She feels Euronymous creep in,
As he shatters every seam.
Today she is seen but tomorrow dreamed.
Plunging into the abyss
Of your pretend security,
Blanketing the truth
Of your own pain,
From me.
I handed you just myself,
My soul,
My heart.
And you trampled it
Like an egg.
"Don't you dare forget the sun, love"
That's what the song said.
Then the question remains of why?
Why do those words mean so much to me?
Why do they haunt my mind?
The answer is the sunshine.
Mirror mirror on the wall
I can't look at you at all.
The image of me distorted will be,
And my mind from it shackles will not be free.
Mirror mirror on the wall
You hasten my downfall.
You were a pen
Long, slender, and sleek
A sharp tip aching to cut through ink and paper
I was an inkwell
Dark, mysterious, and opaque
3.30.16
He stole my golden halo and clipped
my white feathered wings.
Perhaps he's merely a lost boy who
needed them more than me.
He claimed I was part devil who
I remember last winter,
You said it'd be alright.
I looked in your eyes for warmer weather,
But then the fire turned to ice.
What we once had, it was burning,
But now, the flame has gone away.
I don't know what to do anymore
I don't know who to talk to anymore
I don't know how to love anymore
I don't know how to live anymore....because you're gone.
I suppose I would like You to know that I am sorry.
That’s how all apologies and the like are supposed to begin,
With that admission of guilt or regret or something that tastes like bile
Is today that day
The day so dreadful to me
Where you took my heart
And shattered it to millions
Then burying with your lifes
Look at me. No, look at ME. What do you see? Do you see the me in me? Or do you see the me you only know?
The me outside of me? The me that everyone else sees? Look at me.
It stings deep inside
Though it reveals itself
As righteous anger
Or perhaps
A blind fury
Is more accurate
Your blood roars
With the urge
To inflict pain
Only later
Where to go
What to do
I'm so confused
Heart aching
Torn in two
I always knew
Somewhere
Deep inside
This feeling
Of being lost
But knowing
And feeling
It hurts again
This familiar pain
The ache in your chest
The depressing rain
The gloomy sky
So high above
It feels cold
And chilly
And somehow wet
And it feels like
One of the hardest things I do
Is talk to you.
It doesn't happen until I snap,
And all hell breaks loose.
I try to tell you,
But the words are impossible to find.
When I do my best it is dismissed.
I was just twelve.
Twelve years of age when the words hit my ears like a blood curling scream.
Pinned up against a wall clutching my heart as the words pierced me like sharpened daggers.
When I call out,
And ask for help
Nothing seems to come.
Just my echoing voice
Bounces back, leaving me alone.
The echo comes in your criticism,
And what you point out as wrong,
It didn't take too much
To bring me down to my knees.
To leave me laying on the floor
Covered in bruises and blood.
To leave me laying alone in the dark.
So here I stay on the floor,
My voice echoes off these white walls. I feel so alone. Actually, I think I feel nothing at all. The sun is starting to set. Damn, the sun is leaving me too? What can save my shattered soul? What else can I do?
My gears were slowing their spin
My battery was running low
Cobbwebs started to grow on my heart
A heart that had trouble beating
I was
Shutting down
Then you came by
Poetry, building up inside me.
It fills me up until my lungs explode,
It’s love, that brims at the seams as it sloshes
Behind every smile,
You know that there is some sadness.
The sadness that we mask
With forced laughter,
With excuses for the tearing eyes.
It is simply much more simple to smile,
Another smile, another tear,
Another kiss, a lot more fear,
Another hit, nothing is clear,
Another memory that will last for years.
Another heart that has been broken,
Another wound that has been opened,
On my ribs they stay,
Permanently marked,
A reminder to my heart.
Sixteen stitches, black and beautiful,
Surrounded by words above and below.
Words that gave me strength,
You're nothing, but a low life, not even wondering where all the bad went, but she is.
She's nothing, but a low life, loved with all her heart, and still failed to be faithful.
The cracking of the bone
echoed deep within my soul.
I faded in and out.
My limbs became cold.
What seemed like seconds
was more like hours.
The beeping was steady.
Guests came bearing flowers.
Thanks for the reminder
That what I do is worth nothing
At least when it means nothing to you.
Though it means the world to me.
Thanks for the reminder
That I "waste" my time
You're broken.
I see your hurt.
I wanna help, but you push away.
You tell me you wanna leave.
You said you're taking away your pain today.
But what good will that do darling?
At the moment it was the same
the perfect scenario, fitting in
the life of two to become one
it’s shattered like class dropped
Society has convinced me that I should be one piece
One whole piece, with no chips, sratches, or cracks
But what people do not realize is that society is no human
It was not born with eyes or a heart.
Our words will stumble from my memory,
and I will not feel any emptiness
When the sun's light sees her own reflection
In me.
And then I will miss you no more
I will walk with quiet footsteps;
She led the mortal lifestyle trying to know what's cool Carrying feelings of littleness she learned from school She packed her bags and mapped out all her goals and moves
Now she's living in the bath house; her whole soul consumed
You could say that he was a Carpenterof sorts ---he built heartsfrom the outside in fixing rebuilding with his own parts, making a sacrifice just to hear their laughs just to see their smiles so that his own mind, his own soul could just possibly
God you got my soul. When I drowned and fell through water that shattered. All the broken peices that fell off of me. Like a puzzle peice. Instantly binded. You glued all the peices back inside of me.
"Because a wall is better than a gate."
Someone told me,build a gate around your heartand let whosoever inwho has the key to the lock.
Once you have seen her you never forget.
A girl who is too hurt to forgive...
The boy with the bruises on his heart.
This girl,
The girl with the shattered eyes,
Has no one to listen,
No one to talk.
The stirring of shadows
The waking of dreams
A last stand in battle
No one hears you scream
But you made it through
Which is worse to you
Pretending to be okay
"Can't put your mind in a cast
but broken things aren't meant to last
Like walking on broken glass
reminding you bout scars of past
cause the world went by so fast
But not you, your stuck
It seems like broken hearts are the norm in this generation! What happened to the good old days where you didn't have you worry about who else he/she was talking to, Where you knew that you were the only one they were talking to, Why can't we just
Thick thighs
Golden eyes
Innocent smile
Shared desire.
Frantic heart
Jump start.
Lost in time
Lost in space.
Thick thighs
Golden eyes
Wicked smile
It's been 15 nights in a row, rainstorms have passed and left my pillow drenched. My chest is filled with dark smoke and shattered glass, I am left with nothing of my own, not even myself. But it's okay, I know it'll be okay..
Once I thought you were the one
we never fought or sought to be wrong
You helped me through the days
but in the end you threw it all away
You told me you couldnt live without me
Think before you speak,
We've all heard it before.
The wonderful advice we often ignore.
Unaware that words are as sharp as swords,
Cutting into our flesh, the demons we bore.
I stand at their mercy,
I sit there in silence,
Alone in the dark,
Listening to the soft hum
Of the words that float around
In a familiar and gentle sound.
Staring at the empty room before me,
Wondering where I went wrong.
A foggy night, dizzying heights, the heady scent of the things he tries to fight
Thunder crashing, his heart's thrashing, raindrops splashing, nature's might
Safe and sound, enclosed around him, a resounding consequential roar
Out of sight,
Out of mind,
Never to be seen.
A broken memory,
A broken dream.
Left behind,
Left to fight all alone at last,
Nobody to save me from myself,
Nobody to help.
I don't belong in heaven,
I'm not accepted in hell,
I'm neither angel, nor demon,
I don't belongin the human realm.
I have some power, and nothing to give.
I have a life, whith nothing for which to live.
There are times
Times of happiness and times of joy. Moments that I feel like the sun.
But you can't look at the sun.
The sun
It shines so endlessly, affecting everyone it touches
I woke up craving you.
What is really new?
I love you,
But do you really love me too?
Or is that just more lies
that I believe when looking
into those pretty hazel eyes.
someone asks me how we survive
day by day, night by night?
i want to tell them that we don’t
but the words taste like falsehoods on my lips
because the truth is,
we do survive.
but we do not do it alone.
long ago we knew each other
now we are nothing but strangers
how did our friendship end
we were two peas in a pod
separated at the stem
Is this how it is supposed to feel?
Broken and scared.
On the floor in a ball crying
Hearing the raging in the background
Words thrown out
Nothing you can do to take them back
Two way street
Second place
The backburner
The fault bearer
Worthless
Stupid
Idiot
Liar
Anorexic
Twig
Bird
In the background
I silently watch as work takes over
I have been beaten, broken, and blamed
I have been disregarded and ashamed
but by the digging through the light of the untamed
You told me you loved me
You told me you cared
But you left me that day
Alone
I stood in silence
Stood by myself
Recalling the words you screamed
You said I didn't care
"Thought she was alone
And still she prayed
Her hurt reached further than her bones
And still she stayed
Her mind can't handle control
Instead she gave
Through Him her love would reach a world
"It's your name i call
Until my throat is raw
Because i know you saw
How, with my fatal flaw
I felt your absense like a claw
But still more poisin there is to draw,
Out from the wound
"Watch from a distance
As the girl he loves caved
Picks up her head
As she tried to be brave
Tears cried alone
He knew he could save
Her eyes held an anguish
Was it too late?
"Mother,Father
Are you happy now?
I tried my hardest
But you still shout
Brother, Sister
Don't you see?
The locked doors
How I hid the key
Leader, teacher
How did you miss?
"Small little house
Is it home?
i don't know
Small little barn
With the pony
In the yard
Small little girl
With her hair
So loose and free
Small girl's family
"Your smile fades
As you look away
I see the broken pain
That is causing me shame
Why couldn't I see
What was pointed out so clearly
I went looking for trouble
But it was right in front of me
"Anger, Wisdom, Regret, Pain,
They think my life is just a game
I can't stand another minute
But if I fold now I'll be defeated
Their torture stings like a thousand knives
But I can't trust these awful lies
"The wolves inside my head
Gnawing at my brain
Try to take my essence
And flush it down the drain
Remember who I am
If it's those wolves I tame
If I can't defeat them
I might just be too late
Must I be patient for my own demise?
I do not know what is out there,
beyond crests of time,
pillows of snow
&
schemes of wonder.
Lust towards unknown
and unheard of
realities.
Along the island’s shore lay the remnants of the ships debris.
The salty air from the ocean breeze fills my lungs and burns deep.
My eyes squint at the dominant sun, and my skin sizzles from the blistering heat.
so glad this happened
I am so happy for you
I'm just in shock is all
I'm not laughing
I don't think it's funny
these are not happy tears
a heart cannot break
She runs away to hide
nobody giving her a second glance
so no one sees her cry
why can't they give her another chance
Broken girl all alone
locked away in her room
putting on her headphones
If happiness had a face
It would be yours
If love had a face
It would be the way I look at you
If fate were real
Would we be together?
If the stars aligned
Would they pair us?
I kept it locked up tight for years
Hidden from the world
Fed it every night with my tears
Then to the first bidder it was sold
He played me like a fiddle
My heart dropped in price
I see the earth cleaved in two,
The tides drive away,
Sweet angels mourning,
As night befalls decay.
The crash implores the heavy sighs
Of men dying for a breath,
Signalling the final song
Ode to the lost
You don’t know where you are
Or where you’re going
Only where you’ve been
Ode to the confused
You try to understand
It hurts to know-
you're not enough
Hearts shatter like broken bones
and words ring devistation
You waste yourself in incomplete
Promises
and crushed dreams
It's hard to say hello
After you say goodbye
When the days are mellow
What's the point to even try
The chances I missed
All the times that we kissed
Everything we did I thought real
Dismember me
Pull me apart piece by piece
Torture me
Hear my screams
Break me
Then put me back together
We are broken,
And shattered
And crushed
And tattered
We close our eyes
and hope
for something better
But we must cope
We are laughing
and smiling
You ask me if I'm sad;I tell you I'm ok.You ask me if I'm mad;I tell you I'm ok.You ask me if I'm happy;I tell you I'm ok.I fake a smile everyday;To show you I'm ok.But deep down inside,
Your words fell like grace and warmth
They rolled down my shoulders like the water in the shower
I could breathe when they consumed me
I was safe as they drowned me
I wanted to live inside them
Wind breaks my chest as you continuously blow me away.
There’s something inside of me seeping through the gashes of your comfort,
Telling me that the cracks within your embrace
You said you loved me
From the first day that we were together
You said you cared for me
And that you would forever.
Those nights we talked
I am the essence of hopelessness.
The girl labeled with a disorder I knew nothing about,
In only fifth grade, taking two different drugs.
But no one ever told me why.
When I'm alone, I frown. When I'm around you, I smile.
When I'm alone, I cry. When I'm around you, I laugh.
When I'm alone, I want to die. When I'm around you, life is worth living.
We burnt out.
Our flourishing romance withered away
leaving us both as ashes of the people we once were.
Without our vessels,
we touch.
Our ashes attempt to replicate our bodies,
Love
Hate
Broken
I loved you
I hated you
I was broken by you
I loved your smile
I loved your laugh and the way you made me feel
I loved cuddling
I thought you´d always be there
I thought you´d never leave
Now you’ve left me standing
With my heart left on my sleeve
You swore we were forever
And never will we part
She always seeks the broken hearts,And she tries her best to fix them;Drifting around from here to there,
All I wanted was to be wanted
You gave me meaning
A purpose
A reason to live
I lost myself in you
Who am I without you
You said you loved me
But then you left me
I've done everything
that you wanted me to do.
I broke my hands
just like you.
I can no longer walk
but I earned my pay.
Congrats Mother
you had your way.
Do not pick broken things up. Your bare, un-callused hands should not reach out and caress. Do not try to glue the pieces back together. You will end up bleeding. You will end up with a leaking, half-assed excuse for a cup. You will be burne
So long I have lived in pain
Yet he just now can see
All the pain and grief
That consumes all of me
How can I be happy
When I’ve only ever been hurt
Instead of vowing to heal my scars
I remember sitting in your floor,
A pizza box between us,
and a pillow fort behind.
We were talking,
and I wanted to touch your hair,
It looked so soft.
It was,
You use to look at me the way you look at her,
and I use to love it,
Like I use to love you,
but now I just miss you.
It's was easier to stop loving you,
Than it is to stop missing you,
You smile at me,
When there's no one better to smile at.
You sit with me,
when there's only one empty seat.
You laugh with me,
when there are no other jokes.
A Broken Mirror,
A Bleeding Fist
A Silver Blade Against A Wrist,
Tears Falling To Lips Unkissed,
Ignore Her And She Wont Exist,
She's Not The Kind You'll Come To Miss...
91 words that make you feel like a full and blooming flower.
Ethereal
Fresh
Dewy
Soft
Running out of words like
An Olympic track athlete running from the nightmares of a broken childhood.
The sunlight slowly began to fade,
It's silent whispers hissed, "Don't be afraid."
It disappeared from empty streets,
as little children hid under sheets.
Darkness filled the broken ones,
Mesmerized by the beauty
Lost in the harmony
She is
Not focused on the problems
But the glory
Nor the sadness
But their story
Not attentive to their faults
Only noticing the shine
A perfect family
But only to the eye
When you come into their lives
That perfect family has very dark lies
But o'no one pays close attention
Darkened is the mind's vision when grievingCrawling about, looking for luster.Unsure of your purpose, you tryand mend the pieces-- clingingto the fragile ideaof logic, reason.Vision finite
The weight of denial sits on my shoulders,
adding pounds to an already crumbling structure,
You can never forget the way it burns,
the way your chest feels like its on fire,
your heart consumed by sorrowful flames.
As the night comes on
With the moon hanging low
Stars glittering in the sky
Magic of love comes along
It fills the air with a sweet perfume
Where your love surrounds me
Wrapped in your arms
Sometimes I wake up smiling, most days I don’t however, but I force it on. But if there is one thing that everyday has in common it’s that I wake up wishing you were still here and that you weren’t gone.
I woke up craving you.
What is really new?
I love you,
But do you really love me too?
Or is that just more lies
that I believe when looking
into those pretty hazel eyes.
Where were you
You said you'd be here
but yet your absence is pretty fucking clear.
The hole you left in me is not done tearing me apart, I am slowing becoming into what I've feared the most; nothing.
A little more nice and kind,
But it seems you were evil while I was blind,
Often I find myself in thought
Silent on the outside, screaming on the inside
Internally I fought
To worship you, God
I live to worship you
In spirit and in truth
I live to lift you high
In love and adoration
I live to love you fully
Convinced of your love for me
Eternally encompassed
Who the hell are you?
to tell me what I can and cannot do.
You are an enigma in itself
you will never figure yourself out.
Simply because you do not want to,
and you are nothing
Sometimes i feel like the lowest of the low. I feel like I am a plague and that's only me being vague.
The black bird hiddenA crow, dark as nightAmong the willow branchesCascading to the groundA song so mournfulFlat and broken, a puzzleIncomplete.
Why is it that something or someone you care about is soon forgotten?
Like you promise them you will never forget them, but you forget them anyway.
I could do a milion good things
but you only see me when I fall.
And I'm not as tall,
To you I'm a little girl just in the mist of it all
We could have been something great.
Something so magical.
Last summer I drank my heart away and my insides became soggy. Sitting against alcohol my
Humpty Dumpty fell off a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
And all the kings horses and all the kings men
tried in vain to mend Humpty's suffering head
To no avail it came though
Why do I make people my top priority? I work my ass off to please. It is weird how they don't care with ease. You push, fight, and scratch your way into their hearts just for some one to fake love you.
Are you ready to be fooled?
We break up, we make up and then everythings okay.
But now? nothing is right.
Where is the makeup part to our routine?
I looked into her eyes and she said the words that I knew were coming
they were the dreaded words that no person in love should have to endure but every man must
"I think we need to take a break"
Black hair
Brown eyes
Dimpled cheeks
Sad smile
Scarred ribs
And shattered soul
She makes my world
Alive and whole
Imagine all of your life and experiences have built up the world around you like a snow globe.
I encouraged myself,
I mounted on a voyage to the far reaches of space
a spaceship fueled by the sadness of my heart
a pioneer of the cold, the void, and the emptiness
They say, "keep your friends close
But your enemies closer."
I ask, then, how do you know?
Who is your friend
And who is your foe?
One moment it's sunshine
And happiness and laughter.
Without a care in the world I stare at the lens in front of me,what has become me
Behind the lens you will find the real me, not the one I appear to be
It's inside out, without a twist of doubt whats becoming of me, you see
Mama once told me
“You’ll never find love
If you can’t love yourself.”
Maybe try to look like you care.”
She left me in the bathroom
Crying while I brushed my hair out.
Mama said to me,
I think I started my new life
As an anorexic angel.
I woke up to my chapped pink lips
Breathing snow that looked like ash
tired.
that's the one word that constantly replays in my head.
sadness.
a terrible feeling, like you're sinking down, down, down into the depths of the sea of despair :(
lonely.
Is this how it feels
Like your heart is slowing ripping away
Your mind slowly shutting down
Everything getting blurred
No longer able to hear
Breathing gets labor
I thought His love for me was infanite
Him. It was Him. Just simply and soley Him
I wanted Him and only Him.
He, on the other hand,
Wanted to use me
When I think about you it hurts
Not just emotionally but mentally and physically
My soul cries out loud
While my eyes remain dry
They say you always know which kids have no dad
You know the ones always starting something, doing bad,
roaming streets, making trouble, proving the stats right.
Now Uncle Sam trying to keep them in his sight
mommy, you're broken.
i hear you at night
your bottles are clinking
it fills me with fright.
mommy, were broken,
this family i think
the yelling seems constant
we continue to sink
The smell of smoke lingers in the air
Blowing towards the crack longing for freedom
to escape its beholder
I am the smoke looking for a place to go
To grow.
I can fly with the wind and
I cry at night
Not for myself but for others
For all the pain I have caused
And all the pain I have endured
I've been deemed unworthy
I've lost so many
Including myself
t's 6:00a.m on the morning,
For a day that's prolonged, aggravating and boring,
You're tired, and exhausted,
These are the years of our lives that are the most awkward and stressful,
Deadbeat number one. You walked out of my life before I even got to learn what your skin smelt like.I'm sure if I dug way back in my locked away, too young to remember,
She doesnt know she poor, Even when life tells her in many ways Her refrigerator becomes empty. Whenever she is hungry she can't even find a whole meal. Her family barley has enough food to last them until they can get more.
I thought i could Trust you,
To help take away the pain,
But as the nights grow colder,
And the days grow shorter,
Your starting to fade away,
Like an old Memory!
I remember watching him sleep,
his eyes fleeting back and forth under their lids.
I remember him drawing long breaths,
and his heartbeat wavering in his chest.
Dear Bully,
I feel sorry for you
you must feel so helpless
so alone
so hurt
that you must hurt others
so lost, so confused
that you have no other way to act
to lash out
I look into your eyes that are now so bright...
My eyes are dark, with just a flickering light.
Oh, how I miss you...
I wonder if you miss me too...
I don't understand what you see in her,
Every answer is a lie,
Every night it all unfolds.
Only when I'd rather die
Is when the truth is told.
Every answer is one I hide,
It scares me more than you know
Because when I search,
I hope I forget your eyes
And that I couldn't look way.
I hope I forget your smile
Because it makes me wish you'd stay.
I hope I never call you
When its late and I can't sleep.
Bleeding because it paints the pictures
so heavily spilled
in my mind.
And seeing the crimson upon my skin
Gives me pain that makes me real.
Crying because
It makes me view
Burning cheeks
Warm froth on the tips of eyelids
Lips quiver and teeth clench
Tears dry on puffs of red skin
Nose yearns for air
Throat swells
Broken lenses
When I was five I was considered for having OCD.
To my family at the time they laughed at how I was "considered".
It's a mental illness, you either have it or you don't.
Sometimes I'll lie awake at night thinking of everything and nothing all at once
(Another sleepless night)
And every time, a thought will cross my mind
(Never welcomed)
And I become sad
Sticks and stones dont compare to the pain inside me
wound up too tight to be fixed
my heart bursts but does not bleed
my eyes sting but do not tear
because I've taught myself not to cry
I once held a heart in my little palmhopeless, broken, barely holding on to the thread of life
I was born a joker, never a king, never any good at chess.
But I was thrown from my castle when you made that play where you loved him more and liked me less.
but I digress...
I dreamt that I was witnessing a war
Not in full action
But of its ancient history
Looking at the artifacts of someone else's life
Wondering who'd they'd been
Where they'd walked
I Dream of the moments I could spend with you the love we could share But slowly my dreams corrupt bringing me closer and closer To reality you were never my light at the end You were my broken promise you are something To me but I'm nothing to
Falling, fading
I'm slowly losing myself
ino the eternal hole of darkness
pain, betrayal, and abandonment
is all I have felt
in my 17 years of life
my smile does not reach my eyes
Everyday feels the same,
like im going insane,
trying to stay in this game,
No one knows,
what I dare not show,
And no matter where I go,
You are there,
showing you don't care
i guess i knew i would shatter
if i let myself fall for you as hard as i did.
but i did not expect microscopic shards of myself
to fly through the atmosphere and land miles apart.
Hey.
Hi
Are you ever going to answer me?
Daddy, I know I have screwed up alot, but please just say hi?
Why does this happen, why do I stay?
I know you’ll never love me, but I can’t keep away
You said you’d never care for me, yet I still feel as if there’s hope
No rhythm
No rhyme
Just me
And myself
Dark hands
Bright face
WIth a dim glow in the eyes
Worn out
By the challenge
Of living each day with a smile
Inside
The feeling that you have when your families dislocated,and that special feeling of family, you wanted recreated.You want your parents to get back together,but when you ask your parents, they say that they'll never.
The layers of tears that I've cried have stung my eyes to that point of where seeing just becomes painful. I don't want to give up. But I'm being forced to give up. Or am I? No, this whole situation is fucking bullshit.
A mark here, a scratch there
She never feels pretty enough
Consumed with the thoughts of others
Make-up used as a cover
But there are no real flaws
Mom a word that's supposed to mean safety,but to me it's the epitome of MAYBE,
MAYBE she'll be here tonight or tomorrow,
MAYBE out drinking, I'm thinking,
this word mom makes me feel irate,
Release me from this cage,
These wings are mine to keep.
But like a bird with broken wings,
I will never fly again.
For it was you,
Whom shattered my dreams to fly.
I wait, stagnant like the water beside a dam,
wanting to move forward, but I can't.
Not yet.
I am stuck.
Restricted.
Where did my voice go?
It used to verberate so loudly through the mountain tops,
Behind the hazel, she's just a lonely little one. Behind the hazel, she wants to the world to be gone. Behind the hazel, she's fighting everyday. Behind the hazel, she's scared in every way. Behind the hazel, she's slightly shattered.
I can't control my brain
The pain makes me feel insane
And I don't need you opions, on my feelings
You can't imagine what it feels like
To wonder why you're broken
You can't imagine what it feels like
“Free me”, she screams in his face.“No more.No more a moore.I am a river.I flow.I live and give
Thank you for trying to save me.
Thank you for trying to make me love myself,
but as you can clearly see,
I am beyond saving.
I have lived my entire life feeling worthless.
I hate these ballet shoes
Everyday marks another bruise
And as I dance with the pain, my brain is in flames, going insane
Working double time over what should be considered a war-crime
V1:
Always kept me on the shelf
what a never-ending hell
can I cope with all the stress?
Everyday I’m so depressed
V2:
At my high school, I was a guy that everybody knew.
Everybody would dap me up and say "That Boy Rube."
They could easliy point me out by the waves in my hair and the color of my shoes.
Behind the curtain
What I keep hidden
From your eyes and mind
Is strictly forbidden
Under the mask
What a clever disguise
Flowers bloom red across the crimson water flow
A ripped and torn dream hidden behind hallucinations
Crashing down,falling hardBroken dreams, broken heartI guess I'm not really sure where to startPicking up after your goneWide awake at night, listening to our old songs
Thump thumpWho’s there? Nothing but the breeze.Scrape scrapeWhat’s that? Nothing but the trees.Imagination taking overHearing everything but reality.
Going into the dark chambers of your mind
Where the voices whisper
The hands claw
Waking up in a cold sweat
Gasping for breath
Longing for air
No, you won't go back there
I gave up a lot
To pursue this love
But now it seems
That I was blind and dumb
I dedicated my life
My entire childhood
To pursue a dream
You see the Iron Empress
Who standing tall, stoic, regal.
She hides the Carefree Clown
Who could entertain for hours.
She hides the Lovesick Maid
Blinded by love unrequited.
We should both fly away
like a bird, you say.
Flying sounds much like heaven,
unlike the hell on earth.
But I struggle to lift my wings;
The demons drag them down.
I don't want to deal with this,
I’m shattered
I’m a broken piece of the world
Trying to climb out of the pit of despair
Yet I still dream
Of a better tomorrow
I am beaten.
I am broken.
I am forced into a mold,
with no hope of escape.
With an iron grip they hold me.
My actions,
controlled with impatiance and cruelty.
But my mind remains free.
I wanted to tell you how I feel,
But I don't want you to run away;
For the ones who I care for and love the most
Four years.
Four years and you're letting go,
not me.
I desired to keep you.
Like the folded up piece of paper that you placed in an envelope and sealed with your
wax kisses.
I'm so lost.
I'm so weak.
Everything I thought I once knew is now gone, its all down the drain.
I feel so alone.
I feel forgotten.
No one care for the way they make me feel anymore.
If you dusted my skin for fingerprints you would find a multitude of people have touched me in all of the most
I used to be different
The world was brighter
I always had a smile
Nothing could bring me down
People from across the globe fall in love
from house to house or thousand of miles away
Never meeting except online
what if you met that person face to face
would all those feeling come flooding back
in this moment, I did die.
the smile on your lips.
the soft touch of your skin.
the twinkle in your eye.
in this moment, I could die.
the sound of your breathing.
the rhythm of your heart beating.
Look Here N, You stole me
Yes for the very first time someone has stolen me in years
But please know I’m very fragile and have high self-esteem
And unlike the body I live in I don’t have any fears
Am I wrong to think about you like this?
Will I open up your skies?
You would say no and walk away pissed
But you know I know I hear your cries
We have the same heart same beat
I think that is a good question
C+N?
Will it ever work while I hurt and think about you
Knowing that the love I have for you might be true
But it doesn’t come back to me boo
I guess I’ve lost the argument
The name N goes so far
He really does he’s like Jafar
Giving him promise, my times, and even my attention
It’s like he’s got full dominance
Beautiful green eyes like emerald seas
I hope you think of meas you are flicking through old moviesas you are kissing lips thinnerfar thinner than my ownas you are hearing words that triggerpast text messages exchanged
once i love you
it can't be changed
no matter what the out come is
me and you
R one forever
loving you isn't the hardest part
lossing you is the worst part
but not being able to see you
feel you
love you
this hurts me the most
A sweet glow follows his every glance,
My seductive love heats the land.
While we spin around enjoyuing the dance,
My love travels the world holding my hand.
Bringing cheer to fauna and flora,
I opened up my narrow sighted mind
In hopes that it was you that I find
with my luck the sun will not shine
you continue to give me no signs
the rain pouring down it hurts my ears
Two broken souls,
Lost at sea,
Will find each other,
When it’s meant to be.
But for now,
They search and search
For a love that burns bright.
They look at the same sky,
I see you.
I hear your words.
I feel your tears as they fall,
forbidden from your eyes.
Oh how your sadness consumes you.
Outside
lies the false imagery of peace.
If you arent in a sport,
You aren't "popular."
If you don't smoke or drink,
You aren't "cool."
If you read away reality,
You are a nerd
If you fail a class,
I am in a room
alone
Full of friends here to help
me
As they move place to place, I
remain
succombed to any new help or
change
Because the small white ovals are already working to
You grab my hand in prayer.
Theres surrender in your eyes,
even though they're closed.
These are the cards we're dealt,
they were never chose...
I remind you of your strength,
even in your weakness.
Mind over matter,
to the mind of matter
to those minds that are complexed,
perplexed.
layer upon layers.
Inception.
My deception
My perception,
my out look on life.
I'm so sick of pretending like I'm fine
Like I'm okay with the way
My life has been
Like I'm cool with the fact
Dear Dad,
You're never there,
and you'd think I'm mad,
but I'd a;ways think You'd have time to spare,
for me.
Dear Dad,
can't you see,
you're the one I've never had.
No one undestands what it means
To be alone
To be ignored
To eat your lunch in the library
Hidden behind stacks of books
So no one can see your shame
To look at your feet when you walk
When we run, what do we have to show for it?
When we're nervous, no one will know of it
When we draw it, we obscure it
And defile and hurt it
It's ill-conceived to put
The word love, with the word hurt
With every word they say
Her heart breaks a little more
She only wants to break away
A way to stop feeling sore
Shes sitting in her room now
Her eyes are empty, hollowed out
She can't take it
How many times will I be told,
“Smile you may look prettier”, or
“You know what they say, you are what you eat”
All these expectations, these standards
I live with day in and day out
What I have trouble with constantly
Is what I am ashamed of the most
People look at me and say that girl is so extraordinary
She can be herself without worrying about being ordinary
An unreliable narrator
She was always at a loss for words
Expression never came easy, nor was
Compassion, understanding, empathy
Love
Was not a word in her dictionary
It was all incredibly detailedHow he dove into her drained eyes,How he explored her dark and poignant soul;
She died of a broken heart
falling asleep with the
sound of Love Love Love
in her ears.
She had no emotions left to give
She was done.
She was done-done-done, girl.
She was done.
You know I thought you were the one. I was caught up. Entangled in your web. I inhaled you. Skipped school for you. Dreamed of our future and ignored my dreams for you. Gave so much but in return I received lust.
Being.
Who we are.
Hard to grasp,
Yet easy to forget.
Never really looking at ourselves.
The time has come to let
Us look in the mirror and see
That who we are,
Who we will become
The Bully
I hear their ugly words, echoing in my head.
Ugly…Worthless…Nobody… I wish you were dead!
Words cut deep, can’t you see?
You came in took my breath away
You look me in the eyes
You took me by surprize
Will you come
take me to a place I've never been
Just tell me when
I will take that leap of faith
This word has ten letters
That cut away at my sanity
This word is like a drug
It ruins my life
Each letter individually brands itself into me
So that I will always remember them
Anxiety
It looks like the gray sky prior to a storm, caked with layer upon layer of ominous clouds.
It sounds like the silence after howls of the wolves rip through the air.
Left on the table edge, can't keep it in much longer,
Pushed to the edge of my limits, can't give anymore,
Fear boils inside of me,
Beneath the mask is a life unknown
But to some life beneath the mask is all they know.
The thoughts that spin through their head at night
And the smiles faked in the morning light.
Some nights I sit in my room, thinking about every possible thing,
Doomed for nothing but sadness.
When I'm driving,
I think about my life, my regrets, what I forget,
But most importantly I think about you.
Expect this, expect that
You think you know her
like the back of your hand
You see her with a smile
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
Or so they tell me.
But everyone seems to find the same things beautiful.
Blonde hair, blue/green eyes, thin.
Barbie doll perfect
Barbie doll beautiful
Oh no, I have nothing to hide.
Never in my life have I tried.
I have always been happy!
I will never be sappy.
Not that my parents bother me,
Nor is it ever a biggie.
All that matters is your glee;
You taught us to be just
But there is no justice.
You taught us to save people
But they are dying in the streets.
You taught us to love
But hatred runs deep in our blood.
You taught us to live
Sometimes I feel like the hands of a clock
Always rushing down, down, down
Falling into that deep, bottomless pit –
Called “Time” –
Something that used to be mine.
Protests chime like discordant bells
I wanted to say, “I’m sorry” for the longest amount of time.
I wanted to talk,
To explain,
To know how this crumbled under a fault of mine.
Somehow I knew –
You didn’t care
You blamed me
There are broken things in this world
Things torn assunder by apposing forces
And in the end
Someone, somewhere, always wants to fix it
No matter how small
Or how large
There's a smiling human
“Still” by, GiGi Spata
Captured, trapped, broken
A mangled mouse in a trap
Like a beautiful bird in a cage
A precious puppy in a pound
Things like this don’t go away
The sadness builds as you try to be strong
Some days you can’t even get out of bed
You don’t tell the ones you love
If you do they get mad
Like it’s your fault you’re sad
You made me believe it was possible to trust another human being.
Of course the only reason why I've become so cynical of trust,
is simply because i've been broken by constant sorrow,
I, do not like me.
I am the opposite of normal, the reason you can't sleep.
I am the tears you hold back when your heart is breaking.
I am the smile in over the years you have perfected in faking.
A Shakespeare sonnet to befit a king
The sun will rise a bird will sing
All these clichés to express emotion
Of love of sadness of endless devotion
It was a joke
Such a cruel, sick joke
The type of joke that your best friend pulls on you
When you are sleeping
My eyes can see like a hawk, my ears hear like a hound
I can see that there is no more us, I can hear this heart breaking sound
Some open book you were
So open, I could see the dotted lines on the pages you scribbled on
And everyone knew how to read but me
These hands, that you once held
I gave away to the wind
because at least they know how to hold something
This trial and error
This beautiful pain, has left me needing more
I really wished you hadn't slammed that door behind me,
You told me not to cry when you were gone
I tried to hold back, but life became a waterfall
and just when I thought I was going to survive,
I know you cannot promise me much right now,
because your integrity is kind of low,
but if you could tell me why you're here
The world has not seen who I really am
There is a fear whom one may know
I am a girl who is afraid to show
My laugh is loud and filled with joy
People see me as if I’m a toy
Fitting In.
Well what does that mean?
There are many meanings.
To relate just wonder,
but don't blunder.
You want to be part of a group
Have friends to relate too.
Left with a broken smile,
A twisted girls mind
Can take you a mile
Through the decisions she's made
She's haunted by pain
Brought to light to see
The only good decision she ever made
I don't make friends easily,
I don't put makeup on my clear face,
I don't have a sexual drive.
In teen words. I am pretty much a fail.
I assume I don't belong.
To be honest, everyone's so similar and
Family.
Such a frail fragile thing
It is a living ecosystem of aunts and uncles
Mothers and Sons, daughters and their fathers.
What becomes of this intricate unit when it is disturbed?
I have a past, we all do
Some of it is lies, other things are true
My grandma said I lied about rape
My aunt said I was fake
My church said I was a mistake
My friends said they needed a break
ReflectionWritten by Adam M. SnowI am alone this night of flutter;confusion reigns, so I utter,
When my wings got seared off by the sun,
when i free fell, saw the ashes of my hopes and dreams
gently floating after me, I thought I was done,
that the ocean would end my agony
If you can't read the photo it goes-
Here I sit in this rut once more,
waiting, longing.
I wish I could stop but it only goes just,
beat, beat, beat.
And the raging thump continues just
The same brain, body and gender.
Having a light make-up,
We go out.
Wearing pink dresses and high-heels.
As usual...
jump head first into the
flaming inferno because he told you so
try not to sweat
when he calls you a pussy
let the third degree burns be a
reminder to never trust a soul
Broken people, broken things,
Shine and glitter in the light.
The greatest miracles to be seen,
Is what God can accomplish with the broken by His might.
For from great sorrow can come repentance,
This poem is directed towards my eldest brother... who has been on a heavy drug addiction for the past year. He has a 5 year old son who he barely sees and has got himself in a lot of trouble with the law.
Hour Glass of Tracks
"You're broken," she stated like he already didn't know.
"Damaged goods," the boy agreed lightly.
She licked her lips and stared.
I am alone
A single soul
Who's heart is cold
Bound by the thought of everyday madness
Kept awake by the sobs of every night sadness
The tears feel like fire upon my eyes
The days end in long sighs
Diamonds fill the sky
Just as they pierce her skin and become rubies
But she will never grace their beauty with her gaze
Leaves become the gradient colors of the sunset
But she does not see them
There are moments in the night when I wish for someone to lay next to me,
embrace me in their arms,
and not let me go till the moon finally takes its leave.
In the past, I was the one that was intelligent.
I was the quiet one.
I was the teacher’s pet.
I was criticized for being a girl on the drumline.
I was the one that played too soft.
I was the liked one.
Music is everywhere:
In the grass,
In the wind,
In the books,
In the kin.
Even without acknowledment
they play their tunes,
not looking for acceptance,
nor appreciation.
Inside of me there is an asylum,
surrounded by a moat of milky light bulbs;
the only bridge burned long ago.
The dungeon holds a dragonfly
What is love?
his pitiful weeping, hunched shoulders shaking like a 9.5 earthquake
his pain, sudden and hot, the mind is blank, but the body still feels
his screams of agony, he'sdeadhe'sdeadhe'sdead
You were there for me from the start
We hold lots of memories in our heart
There was a time we did everything together
There was a time we said friends forever
Soon things started to change
She looks like heaven
to me
She says no but that's okay
not everyone can see
The way her eyes shine in the morning
We are looked at as misled, misguided..
When really, it's these kind of people who save us all.
The broken ones are the true heroes,
not wanting any recognition.
Selflessnes is their virtue,
I cannot let me feel
To feel is to hurt
Hope turns black with each shedding tears
What once felt excitement is only filled with dread
I cannot escape this prison
I made for myself
My skin,
my bones
are crumbling.
My remains
are
becoming dust.
And from my
decomposing
self,
I hope that
your flowers
will grow,
I am fragile.
To look at me you would see a young woman standing at 5 ft. 3 inches and think
“Of course she is fragile.”
But no…
My stature does not determine my strength.
I met some folks at work today.
It was my first day at the job.
A fellow staff gave me some keys
Then turned to fill out paperwork.
Now I can unlock chemicals,
But how can I unlock a heart?
Seven years down the drain,
Seven years of suffering and pain,
torture and greif,
finally a release.
Chains are all broken.
memories are erased,
And then it all began again
Her mind changing, slipping,
slipping into the dark abyss that is depression
Her thoughts became darker
The world became greyer
How do you make sense of an upside down chair
when the sky sees the surface that belongs to the eyes of the earth
put it right side up again and then finally it is useable
yellow chairs bowing to the trees
The monster inside me is winning. I tried to hold it off for so long. My strength is winding down. This battle is won. I am messing with love. You love her, and I cannot control that.
Looks reared you in, but my personality didn't.Except that personality just isn't.At least not entirely.You walked by discreetly.Did you even notice me ?
Racing into the night,
heart pounding with vengent fright.
Nostrils flaring,
eyes round with quivering fear.
How does anyone get out of here?
Wooden bars staked in the ground,
My best friend, inseparable sisters
Yeah, that was us.
Laughter resonating, together to the days end
Sharing secrets, sharing stories, sharing memories
Sleepovers and movies, playful gossip
Alone. Alone. Alone.
He walks away slowly, lost but not gone. My face burns with acid; my fists are solid stone.
Alone. Alone. Alone.
I'm vulnerable for you...
In this moment, my words only
come out true.
You say nothing but your actions
show we're through.
Leaving me to dwell in a reality
I wish I never knew.
The world is a mystery,
Forever unclear,
An insolvable puzzle for everyone here,
Trying to forget their own history.
The skies can be dark,
Everyone scrambles trying to learn their part,
“Pretty as a princess”
That’s what they all say
Tuck you into bed with story time.
“Wish upon a star”
It was just a childhood dream
As you stare out the window at night
Maybe you fall down sometimes
Maybe the voices speak up again
Maybe you get lost easily
Maybe you don’t have to have everything figured out
Maybe…
Maybe some days are harder than others
Sometimes it occurs to me
That everything I struggle with
Is because of you
You will never wear a welcome mat
As well as the porch steps
And now I struggle
To answer my front door
From Your Father:
I was not raised to be what you need.
I will never love you
And I left to spare you that pain.
I was never ready to be your father,
And so I chose to never be one to you.
Depression filled her mind completely,
With thoughts she did not wish to think,
Thoughts of the past, the pain, the suffering
Imprinted on her brain like ink.
As the night comes to an end,
I realize that it's me.
I'm the only one to blame,
For the mistakes,
For the heartbreak,
For the sadness.
Every bit of me craves you.
But I know now,
I'm the man in the sky
I watch you with my hazy eyes
Take my hand I'll set you free
Step into my reality
Here there ain't a ceilin' with walls
A troubled teen,
she wonders the streets,
a paint can in her hand.
She wants someone to notice her.
She wants someone to value her,
so she will receive her value from afar.
She was in the corner when I saw her.
She was broken and alone.
Only I could see past her jaded smile.
She looked frozen like a statue made of stone.
Her eyes were not bright anymore
Goodnight, Moon Eyes, I guess our stars are gone
And although I'm just a black hole, I know you could be my sun
Blind sighted, the lines they dance to pipers unanounced,
Lion's hiss, the spark and bounce, that'll traunce the transient,
Posting yesterdays warnings, a dustbowel gone, wiped out with the men and mice,
I've tried. I've tried so hard to be your model older daughter.
(But I'm lying about that, aren't I?)
I bend over backwards, I drive across town, I work my ass off.
(But I'm so lazy.)
Everyone's broken in some way.
Everyone's been through something, everyone's experienced a hardship, everyone's been so tired to the point that bone is melded to skin and blood is the normal sweat.
Everyone's broken.
I don't think I love you.
I don't think I can.
My broken takes up too much space,
To make room for a man.
I can't see a world with out you ,
But then again I can't see
I'm blinded by your love, my insecurities.
Tears fall from closed eyes, eyes so beautiful they should never be sad. There is a joy, a light of life within them.
I need someone who will be there for me.
A person who is not afraid to get down on their knees.
A character who will be a hero and not a villain.
Someone who can make my life thrilling.
Can anyone be that person?
Love.
It comes in many forms.
The love a parent has for their child.
Instant.
The love a dog has for its master.
Unconditional.
The love a sibling has for another.
Growing.
he takes all i have
and all he leaves behind
is my regret and sorrow that
has remained for quite some time
i fade to ashes in the wind
when his words singe away my pain
A little white lie changes a life
Your little white lie changed my mind
Quite like a gentleman
I thought this love was genuine
A change to be your heroine
Your motive was fleeting
I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what it means to feel motivated in something that you really love doing since people expect you to be perfect. I continue to push but for what?
Like a puppet with ripped strings I hang limp from a tree that is rooted in bad seeds. I have no direction and no recollection of anything but the present. Everything else is blocked out and I always want to shout.
It’s plain to see that I was a second choice.
You can’t even get your mind off her when you’re with me.
You kissed me.
You made the first move.
Here I Stand across the way
Between a gap as wide as the grand canyon
Two worlds separated, and our hands never touch
It was a giant shift from the crust of our Earth
And the flow of tears that shaped the divide
How Can You…
Hit me like it’s nothing,
Cuss at me like I’m something Bad,
and think that fucking With my head is natural?
How Can You…
Play these games with my heart
Like a board game found at K-Mart,
I hope someday you love someone
I hope you love her with all your heart
Just like I love you
Then she leaves you with nothing but hurt
Just like you left me
Elementary came and went,While High school Just flew by,Now my sights are turned for Provo, I got accepted at the "Y".Start to Pick Classes now,Not sure what major to choose,
As the tears rolled down her face, she thought she was all alone;
No one to hug her, no one to tell her that she is loved.
Her thoughts began to strengthen.
Half blood,
Half flesh,
But fully family.
Sister of mine,
You have broken our bond,
Tread on my trust,
And shattered my hope.
Over the years our family has relayed to me,
Stop. Stop telling me to cope.
Do you me enough to say the words you have spoke?
To ask me why I’m hurting just isn’t enough
As each girl takes her first inhalation,
She becomes a host to the cycle of corruption.
And it starts as society's thoughts creep into her ears,
I have a mirror.
It’s broken
The girl I see in the mirror is not me.
I am young
I am beautiful.
Is it because me and my gurl dropped out
Our sophmore year of high school, for
becoming 16 yr. parents?
Was it us taking that risk?
Or was it life we decided to miss?
This is for those who can't stand up and speak.
And if they ever did, they would come across as weak.
The ones who are lonely, hurt, alone, and broken.
Maybe
One day
I hope
I will make enough new memories
To fill up all the gaps and holes you poked into my mind
One day nothing
Will make me think of you again
My images were distorted,
a played out fiction book of torn pages and darken memories.
A scripture that I will never forget,
Knocking on the sky and I'm listening to the sound
as I'm trying to get some of the thing they call love
My eyes see something my brain refuses to process
Suckling from the teeth of life just to gain strife...
Close your eyes,
Go to sleep,
Dream of us-
As deep drums
Mark the beginning.
Ravenous human shadows
Singing brutal blood-stained
Words their beautiful some damaging others uplifting Tu Amor I love you being thrown around like tossed salad where's the dressing the feelings being involved not everybody loves the vegetables dumped into a bowl of
There are meadows we all will see , my friend
There are meadows we all will see.
There are flowers sprung up amid the sidewalk cracks
There are seashells in the sea.
Your time is yet to rise up
Broken, beaten, torn apart
Where does one thing end and another start
Blacks and blues the new set hues
Turns and twists end with a fist
"so how was your day at school?"
"fine"every singe second i felt like shit and i wanted to come home and i wanted reliefe.
"everything good with friends?"
How is it that you took a whole person and then shatter their being?
How is it that you can make me the happiest and the saddest person in the universe?
Give me hope
Let me be a beautiful flower that blooms from the ashes of an un-privileged past
Give me hope
Let me feed from the opportune victals of a chance for higher education
Give me hope
Pieces, broken pieces.
I am a puzzle piece, one that doesn't fit.
That feeling, burned down
Broken, can never be fixed.
Pick me up, move me around
Make me what you want.
Because I've been broken before.
Because trusting is none existant now.
Because you lied to me.
Because I jump to conclusions.
Because I'm weak.
Because I'm broken.
Because I've learned to know
I want to take you apart.
Bit by bit, deconstructing with my mind.
Bones and skin and muscles
Take you down to your most basic components.
I want to see you stretch.
I want to coax your skin into
Broken child
Save her from his grasp
She's been here for a while
She's growing up too fast
Listening. Ears wide open.
Words traveling through my circuits
Transforming words into feelings.
I try to understand what you’re going through
I've been listening to the same song over and over.
My broken heart sings along because it knows all the words.
The tempo fades out.
Encore.
You know those moments
When you just want the world to leave you alone,
When the littlest things make you break down in tears,
When there's so many things you want to say, but you don't know how to say them,
Run away from your problems
but where can you go?
Run away from your nightmares
but you keep drifting off into a distant sleep
you want to wake up
be told your whole life is a dream
Broken hearts are like broken glass
Hearts shine at a glimpse of light but...
Are going to shatter at the slightest crack
Like Cinderella's slipper, falling to the stone
Broken, with no one to pick up the pieces
I’ve never felt so lost,
Nor felt so helpless, alone, angry and frustrated.
Nor have I ever cried so much, or as often.
Never have I asked “why” so many times.
I’ve never been so weak.
The rain. The rain.
My bare feet on the cold wet ground.
I stare across the vast expanse which is my city.
The trees. The houses. The lights. The cars.
As the rain falls, my world seems to go in slow motion.
one, two
start the day new
three, four
150 cals, no more
five, six
i dont need to be fixed
seven, eight
youre all too late
nine, ten
never wake again
The therapy didn't put things in perspective and the pills don't make me happy
The pain still hurts and the tears still come
I'm broken inside and I can't find all the pieces
Just like any other, I have secrets beneath my smilesA story untold that'll catch many by surprise
When starting out
We are like a cocoon
All wraped up in love
Blind to our surroundings
As time goes on we start to break free
We find out that our cocoon of love
Was never what it seemd
Its funny how we walk past each other like we were never friends
we dont look in each other eyes because we might remember the good times we spent together
God work your magic through my hands;
I'll heal the souls of the dedicated.
When they break like rusted baskeball nets,
I remind them why they entered the game.
Remember when you dad got you your first ball?
Honesty is all I would change
maybe if we all could be genuine love would not be in vain
if I could change the roles of honesty
maybe a liar would feel the victims pain
He lied to me that's why I feel this way
They all love you.
They think your a king...
I don't see it...
You hop from girl to girl,
snap their hearts in to thousands of pieces,
just like its no biggy.
But really to me you look like a piggy.
As I retire
I perform a similar routine
It involves a person
Sometimes it is dream
He is only a boy
It was in that ineffable moment,
the blinding glare from the spotlight above struck her eyes,
the bottom portion of her crimson gown brushed against her ankles and the stage, shimmering in the light.
My hypocritical being
Gets battered by the hardships of life.
On a downward spiral,
Slowly ruining myself.
Karma's a bitch,
And depression hurts.
The only thing that I thought would help
OutsideThe entirety of my resolve runs with the river of tears thatTrickle, thenAfter a brief moment of suspenseBreak free, carvingCruel lines down my ravaged cheeks, a howling flood letLoose. My eyes are
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The infinite love
Till death do us part
The raging war
Of the head and of the heart
Words never spoken
Feelings never sought
The build up of this dangerous thought
I don't understand why you turn backs on friends. First you tell stories using my name,Just so you have someone to blame. Then only after you make all these harmful jokes,It's my self-confidence you've begun to choke.
We are so focused on teaching our young people to dream that we forget to teach them how to reach these things
body of a goddess , roses melt at her feet . Her body says it all so she doesn't needa speak . she's intelligent not a soul will ever know , her name doesn't even matter cause she's known as a hoe .
The Red Queen
wanted red roses.
The roses were whte,
so the cards painted them red.
Red roses
a common symbol of love.
I paint roses everyday
for you.
They aren't red,
What is left to say,
you're gone by night,
nowhere in sight by day
It almost felt like a nightmare come true,
so alone the most when i needed you,
Inside of me i felt dead,
' 'she is nothing but a slut' '
face pale
lips Glossy
' 'she is nothing but a freak' '
pale blue eyes
chocolate lockes
' 'her makeup looks terrible' '
Dejection,
No affection.
Depression,
No expression.
Happiness?
No. Not anymore.
No more blessedness.
No more galore.
Why do I still love.
Why do I still trust.
Although change upon myself would be lovely,Although change to the faults of the world would be just,
I am a punk rockerRocking out to the drunken moon.
I am the moon drunken on the everlasting plea for the sun's rays to shine on him.
I am the super sun shining for a day that never ends.
Confusion on a silver platter served up quite nicely for all to enjoy.
Or rather to think of in a derogatory way within themselves.
The case may vary, as many grow weary.
Oh how I love you so, yet you do not seem to know.
You know the amount of tears I weep, yet my heart you continue to reap.
I have tried to save you, but further you stray.
im thinking a thought about how strange it is to see you not waiting for me at my locker
We all knew her
before her mind took her under
under a spell know one is sure
no cure
It happened so fast
a spiraling of events
I imagine the grief
they must have
in their souls
It's red, staining the ground someplce I've never been
and never will go.
For me.
It's a sacrifice, a total giving of life
So I can keep mine.
I can breathe
What would anyone want with someone as broken as I?
What man could lot at me without pity?
You’re what I yearn for
From the crown to the core
Lusting for you more and more
Your splendor is all I’m seeing
I've come to the point of broken,
There are no more words to be spoken.
I come to you on my knees,
You alone I seek to please.
This place has just let me down,
Hopeless is renown.
A man that made her feel safe
Took her in like she was his own
Betrayed her by making his claim
It was ruthless. She called out for help
No one heard her scream
Belittled to nothing -- nothing at all
Running,
Chasing,
Hoping,
Waiting.
Hiding tears
And hiding fears.
Scared to say,
Scared to show.
In a room,
All alone,
This is the start of something new,
Where I forget about the old,
Forget about you.
Where I stop crying
Because you broke my heart.
Where I stop thinking you're my missing part.
I feel like I'm walking on broken glass the more I keep going the worse it hurts I try to stand my ground but the glass cuts deeper and deeper I know my strength I will never give up I won't give in I'm a fight Til I finish fight Til the end I'm
What you never told me
Was what you never said.
You were broken inside,
Inside you were dead.
You wanted to love me,
That one thing is true,
You want me to wait, but not forget
Numerous years past, through our eyes, is the founding of our country, yet in perspective, just a few decades.
Girls can be very trusting.
Girls can also be blinded by the feelings they have towards someone.
If that feeling is love,
any girl can get crushed.
If you tell a girl she is beautiful,
The floodgates within her are opened
Water gushes from behind her walls,
Stampeding like a herd of wild beasts to release the tension within.
I can't describe the feeling in my chest
I may be blessed but I'm still feeling stressed
I can't find words to say what it feels like
But I'll say it's like losing your life
26 months but in the last few weeks
The words I see transparent,
I want to believe them
but yet I know there outcome.
As a plastic bottle,
these words you speak,
I've heard them all before.
These recycled words
My heart was broken
Neraly Choking
On my own tears
I tried to leave
But you held the key
And after all these years...
I fell hard in love
We inherited our fathers hatred
letting his words tattoo into our brains
and flow onto our tongues
every time we were bombarded with something new
these words fell from our lips
There is a girl broken with scars
The feelings you give her are sharp as a blade
Night after night she lies awake
And thinks about her heart you break
In her eyes you see love
In your eyes she finds enmity
I know a boy, who is not a man, but a gentle beast
Not much too look at, Yet he managed to catch my eye.
Whose eyes have seen life’s greatest joys and her sorrows
When you strip yourself bare before another
You are showing them your physical flaws
You are undressing who you are underneath all the clothes
Love.
I've always wanted love.
But a special kind of love.
Not that lovey dovey, kiss kiss, let me talk to you every second of the day - love, no.
From the very first breath at fresh life she wasn't there.
It didn't occur until I relapsed that I was eight when she came back.
And they told me to love her even though she left me for the boys.
Don’t kiss me just because you think I want it.
Don’t kiss me because the world says you have to.
Don’t kiss me because you feel sorry for me.
I shall not shed a tear when your heart leaves mine
I shall not show the fear inside
I shall not miss your touch
I shall not miss your warmth near
I shall not miss your lips upon mine
You don’t want to invest the timeTime is nothing, you lieEverything was beautifulRoses in the garden,Cloudless skiesBut the raging clouds kept coming from your eyesOn that day,
A little engine pushes past all obstacles, seemingly strong.A broken engine too much burden, falls to ashes at the stop.
The livened blue tinted with gray,
I had no idea what you'd mean to me.
Those eyes so bright caused me to stray,
I met a guy on Janurary 21, 2011.
Now he wasn't just any guy!
He didn't use me
or break my heart.
In fact He found me,
during the hardest time of my life.
He didn't care how broken I was,
She imprinted wishful thinking onto fragile skin.
Dreamt of last names being shared, and
Put him on a pedestal too unworthy.
Her heart too early mornings
And his too midnight,
Life is hard, life is tough,
it knocks you down, sucks you dry, even when you had enough
you can't hide, running will make it even more rough,
stand strong, will it out, no matter how hard,
I stumbled upon it without knowing what it was.
I pulled it out and saw my name written on it...the hand writting... it looked so familiar yet so diffrent...I opened it and started to read.
What do you do when theres no where to go but a place called "Home"
and the home is broken,
shattered into pieces that are irreparable
where your father, who is a stranger
Ideas born out of 2amGrown to wrap around my eyesPull them downThey will not shutConstant spike of ideasIn my brain, it hurtsThe throb of thought against boneI am not destined for sleep
Black atmosphere, purple park on fire
my flesh desired
Black spiked hair with a bruised face
stepping, grass crunching, heart race
I am the girl that is permanently stainedThere’s more to sex than giving birth and STDSSometimes if your lucky you’ll still have your prince charming and be a drop dead beauty queen,
Memorizing data to spit back out verbatim
That’s not learning
Banking our self-worth on a letter
That’s not learning
Staying up so late that the book get’s blurry and our brain gets fuzzy
That’s not learning
Staring at coffee cold and black
Looking into her empty house her empty life
with her empty eyes that don't look back
Seeing only shadows
It hurts so much,
You kill me with every touch,
I put on a mask because I don’t want anyone to worry,
Not that anyone’s going to help me in a hurry,
She said it was the most consuming thing,
the way he would flow through her, and every word she sang.
Sitting in a room full of people but nobody can hear your scream.
Walking down the halls alone as if you were in a horrible dream.
When I look out the window and see the leaves blowing, I wish I could float away from all the mess I've created. All the pain I have caused, all the stress I need to escape from. My breath is shallow, my heart is aching I cant hold back from the
Explosions break the darkness
And we fall from the sky—
Blown to bits.
Pieces of each of us glitter
As they float down,
Tossed around by the wind,
Ever so gently,
Nearing the earth.
Teacher, teacher
I'm not sure if you know
My mind may be open
But my heart remains closed
Teacher, teacher
Please, just hear me out
There are so many things
I thought you were something special,
Not like any other boy,
But I guess I thought wrong.
I thought I had finally found someone who liked me for me;
Someone who wasn't just there to admire my body,
We are the ones shot down day after day forced to tip-toe around our own shattered remains. Reality surrounds us. Holding us in its painful grasp. Never daring to let us go and give us a chance to breathe.
Your scent just suffocates me,
bringing me down into a hole deep and dark.
Why would you do this?
Your warm body was once mine,
keeping me from freezing at night.
Why did you leave?
You've infected my heart, My soul, Like an ink pen to paper, Whose darkness bleeds all throughout, Soaking every fiber in shadow, never to be white again. There is no taking back, Erasing, Deleting, Throwing away, Cutting out. There is no riddin
Sitting inside my porcelain tea cup
I open my sewing kit and pull out a needle
In the light, it glimmers
With a loop at the end
Meant to put a string through
And pull me along
The Hardness of her heart
the coldness of her hand, i wonder why she ignores me so much.
The sparkle in her eye is only when she crys, confort seems to not be enough.
He reaches out because he is lost -
He is so tired of drowning his sorrows.
When instead of compassion he is met with disregad,
He finds himself falling even farther.
Wake up, it’s a normal day. Go to work, the normal way.
Down the street and into a building, up the elevator and down into a chair.
Typing words and drinking coffee, I hear a man telling how he got mad at his kids the other day.
Broken and torn I look out the window, rain pours down like tears from the sky.
I try moving forward but I keep falling down, someone whispers lies in my mind.
Everyone talks about it Why won't you be about it
This angry hand that you raiseDoes nothing but appraise
It appraises our loveHow worthless it isHow it hurts to stick around
The man in black crawls towards the dusty wind,
His thoughts and words swim backwards to the past.
Minutes and hours creep shyly to his mind,
Ticks and tocks fly, this one slow, this one fast.
I am the ship
that has carried pirates and runaways
through the saltiest seas just because
I'm too kind to let souls sail alone.
I am the one with the treasures
Every ruby, emerald and diamond
1) I may be cheating by counting you. Romance doesn't mean much in
the seventh grade. We held hands once during a bus ride, your palms
were sweaty. I didn't mind.
if happiness is a state of mind
then fantasy is it’s drug
you’re my pill
slowly going down
drink it up with water
to ease the pain
it will only last a while
Who am I?
Who am I to look her in the face and say
“I’m fine. No, really it’s okay.”
When really I’m screaming inside.
Get me out of this placeMy heart breaks like glassLet it shatter and it runs a different paceIt's messing with my head, one minute i'm with you now suddenly i'm hereWhen will this end?
My heartbeat is frozen
I to you is forgotten
The love is cold now, and dead
But you are stuck like ice in my head
I'm cursed
If I tell you how I feel,
You'll laugh at my joke.
You'd tell me that I'm stupid,
and leave me here alone.
Deserted in the desert,
Crowded in the streets.
I've fallen into your eyes, lies, & shame.
Their legends are not like yours. A true story never to be told, Of the gore behind those closed doors.
Poem: yet and still
•In one piece yet broken
•Showing a smile yet crying inside
•In a room full of people yet so alone
•I speak yet no one hears me
• Laughing and joking yet so quiet and empty inside
Through these blue eyes I see
The destruction if a war scarred land
By these cold hands I touch
The lips of those that have died
With this broken heart I feel
I have ripped apart
The heart
That you have
Trusted in my hands
And which you were
Probably hoping
I’d cherish forever
Forgive me
I have found
Someone
I want to wrap youInside myBroken dreamsAnd remember whatIt felt like toSleep alongsideSweet lullabies.I want to tell youWhat’s inside mySweet lullabiesAnd remember what
It's so hard for us to operate.
We're broken machines.
There must be a kink in our wires,
or rust in our rings.
Tarnished metal and bent-up parts.
You're my tin man
and I'm your tin girl.
Birth control.
In school they teach you,
Birth control,
No condom, no baby,
But maybe an std or HIV.
We are young, we are naive.
We are virgins, who want a bad boy.
Hips, ribs, and collar bones;
Never hurt by sticks or stones.
Words made you this way.
"I can't stand myself!" you say.
You think they're right,
You think you're wrong.
"Keep it up,"
A pawn in your game
So selfish
So greedy for fame
………………………………
Eager to be loved
Wanted to be feared
We are the lost
And forgotten
Our emotions turned
Dry as cotton
………………………………..
We are the broken
I look in the mirror every day and see myself
and ask what am i to everyone else
I've been called ugly names
that bring to my heart lots of pain
sometimes i feel sad and lonely
Deceptions
That heart of mines ached
My tongue spake
My mind deceived
My heart believed
My soul admits mistakes conceived
The con woman who turned truth into a lie
It’s you
You that I am scared of
You chose me as your target all because of the way i look
Or maybe it’s because I’m better than you
Are you mad at the fact that I don’t have to
Upside down crosses and middle fingers
The taste of my last cigarette and rebellion lingers
I’m holding his hand in mine and a bottle in the other
Just because we make love doesn’t mean he’s my lover
I am a piece
Of broken glass
With sharp, corroded edges
If you touch me
You'll bleed, and become connected
With all the secrets
I try to keep.
I am jagged,
Dirty,
Cold.
You have a degree
That says you can tell me
If I'm right
Or if I'm wrong.
You have a certificate
And even when I'm sick of it
You possess
Carte-Blanche martial law.
You say no child
Breaking Branches
Falling Leaves
Seasons Change
Caring Need
Rolled down Sleeves
Icy eyes
Hurting Heart
Who Survives?
Count them as they go down.
7, 8, 9, 10.
This is taking too long.
Where did I put it?
Why can't I find it?
What did you do with it?
Did you hide it from me?
I don't see why.
She'll tell you:
You're ugly and fat.
and guess what-
You'll always believe her.
He came today-
for the girl;
on the 6th floor.
She went with him,
peacefully-
or so they thought,
evidence of him was there
there on her arm,
was written
G/O/O/D/B/Y/E
Let this be your first night of happiness.
Let all your fear and troubles dissolve away into the darkness
Let this night, be a peaceful moment full of bliss and relaxation
It all happened so fast.
A beat of my heart.
A stroke of my soul.
I looked down,
Eyes closed.
I sucked in a breath,
Lungs filled.
Gentle rain pattering outside,streaks of water tricklingdown the pane of glass.Listen.The shrill squeakas her hand slowly sliddown the window.Wishingshe could just claw her way
Make a slice on each armDon't worry it won't do much harmSkips a few mealsIt's not that big of a deal Take a bottle of pillsAnd watch your body lye stillPut a bullet in your headAnd watch the blood pool on the bed
This girl once had a purpose.She strived to be the best.She left it back behind her on the Golden Gate bridge.
You could see the brokenness of her heart in her lovely green eyes.
Hear her cry of help through her soft sweet smile.
You could feel the emptiness,
the cold lingering sadness of her soul,
Can you feel it?
Those minute movements
under the skin of your chest?
Every tick of the clock
becomes a suture,
tying together
the shattered remains of the
past.
Sealed with foreward
You are supposed to be here,
You are supposed to care,
Not just sitting there watching tear after tear,
You are supposed to help, your supposed to mend,
Your supposed to be my very best friend.
I grow older,
Without a raise of the hand, I stood
Knowing that I could be stifled, I know I did not care.
Without a raise of the hand, I spoke
Meaning no disrespect, but respect was the only matter on my mind.
whipping winds
tear away my guise
in the night
your hands
weapons of destruction.
twisting tornadoes
i watch in dismay as you
turn me into shreds
and lock me away
Why must happiness be so hard but grief and hatred so great?
Why must we learn or except our fate
I feel like crying, I feel like dyeing
I’ve dealt with a lot.
I’ve been bullied,
I’ve been heart broken,
I’ve been ignored,
I’ve been abandoned,
I’ve been invisible,
I’ve been a target.
They tell me it’s just the
At what point on the 4 dimensional graph on which you are currently residing
-the graph labeled ‘life’ on every axis-
do you find yourself no longer climbing, but flattening out into a plateau,
Because it's funy how the person who makes you happiest
Is also the person capable of hurting you the most, intentional or unbeknownst
And the worst kind of love
Is the kind where you love and they love
Contemplate
As Palms flow of desire
Unwanted creature destined at the strike of an hour
Too little too late to rewrite what's written
Futures ruined by an unknown feeling
bound to the thought of tradition, chained to the idea of reality
structured in the ways of the ones before you, trapped in the shadows of others
Crumbling to dust,
To nothing at all,
Breaking in pieces,
A desperate fall.
A yell for help,
Begging no more,
A battle waged,
On a broken heart's shore.
Salty tears,
Wings clipped, hope busted, dreams shattered,
My cage is worn and my clothes are tattered,
I’ve reached the end of my rope, I’ve lost,
This used to be bubbly and warm, now I’m frost,
All I am is bonesBreakable and bendableBird bonesHollowed out, emptyCreating a superficial beingSupposed to be sturdyBut empty of strengthTrying to flyAll I am is bird bonesEasily broken
Over a year come and gone,
long nights that turned into dawn.
Hanging on thin threads of hope,
that helped me cope
a devistating loss long ago.
Holding on to someone I used to know.
It hurts so badCause all I wantIs to be loved
My heart is breakingAnd I move awayBecause I can't take this...
Can I have one more kiss?
I want you
She wants you
So there's a decision
But yet, no decision
If you feel like you need to choose,
I’ll help you out
Pull out of the race, stop playing your game
I was doing just fine in this cold world
Why did you come along?
To maybe throw me for a loop?
Silly girl I was
Why did I not trust myself?
Instincts tell me stop, turn around
Tonight I am quiet.
I sit alone in my almost clean room—old
Coke bottles stand on my shelves,
filled with pop tabs, bits of magazines,
a testament to my overwhelming need to hold on
Try to accomplish what I did
Try to feel what I felt
Try to see what I saw
Try to deal with what you dealt
Try to cope with what you inheld
Try to care with what you gave
In the night, you scream with fright
you hold your breath all too tight,
for in the night, lurk shadows of the past,
you remember of those gruesome nights,
you try to fight those scary dreams,
She had the whole world at her feet.
She even had friends all over the place
But at night she still didn't get any sleep
It was as if she was her own enemy
Always putting herself down to benefit others
There are cuts on my wrists
because I never thought I'd become this:
Another broken heart
just one more forgotten kiss.
A broken heart is like a broken dreamA wold left cold as stoneA place of darkness never to be seenI see you walk away as tears fill my eyesThis is a world where love can never survive
He left me half dead you know?
He left me a drained girl who had drank from his love for well over a year.
He left me hungry for love and affection for comfort and heat.
Traveling the heartless tunnel, where I must defend,
Where I must pace slowly,
The Raging Wolf snarls in my glittered path.
Muting the song of heartbreak with his temper,
His seductiveness and lust-
Three people
Two smiles,
Two hands
And one heart left broken.
The smile you created,
All the things you said to me
Are just words now?
I’m broken in emotions,
The skin that bites the cheek
A curled brow above the eye
An eye for a soar
a star in the sky
Passion ceases to exist
While the beauty never dies
A walk in the park
Should I hold it all in...or should I cry it all out?
But I don't want to disappoint them,
I don't want to be given the doubt.
They think I'm strong.
They think I can do better.
But how can I?
There were times when I hungered for what you had.When I begged for you to see me.when it was not my mouth that cried, but my heart.When my spirit bore into yours, and kept a place there,like a hook in your side. But you, a haughty man.
You're not the one for me
You don't even know who you love
I don't know why it took me so long to see
That the greatest love of all comes from the one above
one door must close
for another to open
this is what you all propose
the cycle must have broken
closing, closing, closing
never to be reopened
but on I must keep going,
Overwhelmed by power great
He bowed beneath pressure and his will was bent
At last his spirit broke
Then in darkness he did dwell
Among the creatures of the night
There’s always talk of moving
Always the possibility of leaving
Packing a bag and never looking back
There’s always that glimmer of hope that sparks inside of me,
But a skeptical shadow over powers everything,
I ask the Lord to quiet my soul
It has awoken from its restless sleep
It has caught sight of the ones my heart used to love
and it wonders painfully where all the love has gone
I sit here comforting it as it cries
She really thought it was real this time
She was stubborn that this time, this time he was the one
So she danced with words on her tongue
And made him feel like a prince
Do you ever notice, the light that twinkles in my eyes when you talk to me?Do you ever notice, my smile when I hear your laugh?Do you ever notice, how I perk up when you call my name?
One Ignored
Lilies do not verbally express their want
For your admiration
But dear, look at her colors, do they not
I aint’ never been part of a high class society
The thoughts that crave within me,
Blearing out with animosity
Breathing in the fresh-scented Musk, that’s
Broken.
Calligraphy-
The fundamental process;
I miss their cold houseI miss sittinn with them on their couch.I remember that one time we had to kill a mouse
I miss their smiling faceseven though there were alcohol tracesthe talk of their adoption cases
Estranged lover;
Slaughtered home.
Is the destruction of beauty
a predisposed chromosome?
His existence was unintended,
Brought to be by raging hormones and rotten nuptials,
And that is the life he lived.
Just when I though it would all get better.
You made my depression dissappear. You made everything ok.
You healed me, my heart. Up until today, everything was fine.
Why did you leave?
will does not force my mask,
a loney mood and empty flask,
does make my mind go numb,
behind this smile that you see,
is not a face so carefree,
abandon hope of helpful hands,
So many struggle to find reason for their lives
So many struggle to go on
So many struggle
Yet so many miss on the simplest joys in life
So many regret their past sins
So many live in their failures
Can't you hear it from across the room?She's crouched in the corner...Her pain is screaming, but she never says a word.Can you hear it?Close your eyes and try to listenShe cries for help day and night
A blue and grey feather
Floating down the stream
Lying on its back
Head towards the sky.
A boy, just a few yards beyond
Sits by the flowing current, slow
Letting out the tears
God, I feel like I'm not knowing
And that You're supposed to be showing
Me where I'm supposed to go and...
I'm so confused.
I don't know what to do.
But I continue to stay strong and faithful and run to You!
My First Love, My First Heart Break.
Never Thought I Could Love So Hard.
My Heart You Scarred.
You Tore Into.
And I STILL Dont Hate You.
Did You Enjoy My Pain,
Did You Like The Sight
Am I still here?
Can you hear me?
Must I still creep around your room?
Memories folded up and neatly put away
My secret is worthy. To be guarded like the keep of one-hundred dragons. It lies inside a rotted chest, crueal and wicked and warped though I mean to hide it well beneath its translucent wood. What must be kept I cannot keep.
The bright neon lights glistened and gleamed
Dancing and twirling across the black night sky
Before they were distorted by the blur
As the car went whizzing by
The warm summer night is teeming with magic
I watch them fly away
My hopless heroes
The only ones I've ever known
Scortched capes torn to shreds trialing behind them
They don't go to save the day
They've lost too many times
I lay in bed thinking of you once again
It's like you're filling up my mind
With dangerously deadly mines
You've implanted in my brain
Your words taste like caramel in my mouth.
But words of wisdom do not exist.
Those who think the dangerous thoughts
That if,
Dribbled out,
Would indeed disturb the universe
I wondered how
Someone so angelic as you
Could have turned out to be
The demon that broke my heart
And then I remembered
That Lucifer too
Was once an angel.
Nod. Smile. Nod. Smile. Now....Laugh. There is nothing that is true. Nothing left with truth. He took truth away. What is this possible happiness? When was it all ripped away? It is a facade. The happiness was never possible because of him.
Every war that was ever fought
all began with a single thought.
They are such powerful things:
the start of relationships and flings.
One thing leads to another
and your thoughts become words.
it's true, I say
that the pain stays inside
that we don't know where to hide
but why? you ask
because we're broken
because we're lost
because we are alone
Family shouldn't be counted by red, thick drops
It should be observed by caring thoughts
My family is made from love and support
The red drops left us when I,we needed them most
To feel the freedom of the brush
Against the flowing canvas,
To watch the color mix and twist
Full of overflowing vision
To create and make a piece of art
Made with expression and feeling
I wish you were with me right now, so you could see the tears spilling out of my eyes. If you saw me cry, would you change your mind? I wish you could hold me close and whisper that everything will be alright.
I will follow you.
Even when the grass
Turns to sand,
Even if the sand
Lasts for days,
I will turn my head
From the wind
And against the grains
I will follow you.
Why did you have to leave?
Why did you have to be there?
Why did he have to take you?
Having to see everyone and everything around me so gloomy was horrifying.
It gets so silent sometime that I wonder if God can even hear me,
No one to talk to because everyone has their own problems,
So to cope I throw my thoughts into a bottle,
Tighten it up so no one can get to them.
Summertime, you are so fine.
The smell of fireworks on the fourth of July.
You make me smile, you make me weak.
Schools coming soon, & I'll miss the heat.
Release
Sweet God I think I've got it.
Remorse
Where's my mind I think I've lost it.
Relief
All my dreams mix well with drinks.
Regret
All my screams are making make me sink.
Repeat
Where in these dark caverns I lie alone,
Hidden without the wakefulness pure bright
In the shadows, I silently atone,
Awaiting the purge of the searing light;
But doubtly I conceal thyself of night
Lord, you're with me every step of the way.
You call my name and I call You friend.
Reach up my hands to You,
I give You praise.
Every minute.
Every second.
Of everyday.
Stop the crying
The bleeding, shouting—
I can’t sleep.
Oily unease bubbles out
My knees grow heavy
Throat cluttered by horror, undigested
The buildings alight across the city
After all these years,
my feelings for you have only increased.
All the many tears
and emotions that never ceased.
You were my first.
Yes, I know
Society has millions of images designed to represent beauty
Yet not one of those images are similar to me.
There are thousands of different body shapes and sizes
Maybe that's why I struggle when looking for clothes.
The Acacia is a sturdy tree.
Its roots run deep.
Its beauty astounds.
Harmless on the outside;
Unknown to man:
The toxins within kill at the touch.
Run the soul dry.
Parch the love.
How could You?
Maybe it was all in my head,
believing we were different,
that'd we last longer.
I see the way You look at her,
it crushes me to watch.
It's not me you watch.
Some hearts are broken or mended,
Others are shattered or torn.
Although, it was never intended, because love is eternally sworn.
I have cried, and prayed, and pleaded, for this love to hold its ground.
In a world where dark dreams befall
The angels cry behind the castle walls
His highness, he sits, lost on his throne
The queen has fallen, he sits alone
He holds her heart in his cold hands
The ring sits on the stand
Next to the empty bed
She left without a note
Without a call.
What did he do so wrong
That she left him after this long
The two perfect people
She said I’ll love you till you’re worn
She said I’m breaking to the bones.
The kind of stuff that breaks a home-
The tortured cry of a widow’s moan.
She said, you can’t believe that love is real
The rods are all broken
The curtains are torn
The windows are cracked
The floorboards are worn
So much time wasted
Cleaning out dust
You marched in with mud
Hate and mistrust
Starving my body, starving my soulI cannot tell what is my goalEat that today, eat nothing tomorrowMy mother's scale I might have to borrowCheck my weight, look towards the groundOh my God, I gained a pound
I was to young to deal.
Started not to feel.
Never took the time to heal.
Somehow it didn't feel real.
I was to young to see.
Thought it was apart of being me.
softly spoken words of a new tomorrow
you wispered just a little
enough for me to want more
Screaming in my head
is just a quite gleam of hope
a tiny drop in the pool of dreams
I pray that love sets me free and though im blinded by hate, love overcomes me.
I pray that one day I learn to live so that I wont be afraid to die and that there remains many reasons in this world for which I will never have to cry.
The hands won't moveLife is stillCan't you tell we just aren'tWe aren't movingWe aren't breathingWe aren't livingYet we are alive
Maybe I'll start today or tonite
Maybe I'll think on a daily
Maybe I'll give him what he wants
Maybe she'll recognize me
Maybe this will be the last time I feel pain
Maybe I can do this!
Never did I think you'd be a part of the past,
our time together went by a little too fast.
What you've now done for this community,
is what will forever go down in history.
You gave your life to save another,
She sat in her chair across from me
Scribbling on a pad of paper that held pieces of my life in a careless pattern
“Write,” she said.
So simple and stupid
As if writing in a journal can change my problems
Heavy breathing.
Wrists bleeding.
Mind freeing.
Heart releasing.
Eyes tearing.
Body collapsing.
Life ending.
To my past love you decided your own fate. You had me hurt and in a uncontrollable state. I had the false reality you were going to stay my mate.
What does it mean to be happy?Is happiness defined by the smile on your face? Is happiness defined by how many times you laugh throughout the day?What does it mean to be happy? Is it the feeling of joy that overcomes you?
It seems like yesterday you were here to stay
And now you up and went away
No time to put my heart away
So it took the full break
Shook me like the hatti quake, told me to beat it like a Ao8
I let myself be shaped by others
Molded by scorn, hate, and sadness
I wanted to be like everyone else
I wanted people to like me
I wanted them to care
But I was a cast-out, a reject
You've changed?
You once loved me and called me everyday
Now you rarely say my name
You've changed?
It all started when distance was put between us
Seperated by only a few miles
No one knows
just how hard it hurts.
I can take the blows,
and I can take the hits.
My bones can shatter,
and my blood may pour.
My teeth may chatter
I can take being sore
I said it a millions of time cried my heart out believing one day will be that day however I had an shot of reality like no other and for that I can say this was the clearest sign to move on with life itself .
Wounds from my past still sting. I try not to bring myself to that time again. Why can't things just be like when I was a kid? Having no knowledge of anything. Just care-free and dumb.
A fool, a joke.
I didn't know what else to expect.
I thought he was cool
And now everything's been wrecked.
Im played like games adolescents love to win. Victory! You won my heart although cheat codes and guide books helped you through. You became a strategist at the war of my soul.
It was not so
It could not be, it never could last
Foolish was the girl
To this she could love or be loved
Fair Maiden with The Jester
As she walked down the steps
Her head dizzy with confusion from the scholar
His science left her shaken with despair
The maiden walked many miles to the town square
Fair Maiden with The Scholar
In the castle, built of brick and stone
A scholar of science lives and works
He has never ventured beyond the walls
He would rather not
He says that it holds no sound truth
When I found out I liked boys
I knew I would be boy crazy
Every time I liked one, another one seemed to amaze me
Then, when I found about a relationship, it would blaze me
Once I fall down the staircase,I look into the red horizon,wishing only to grabhold of the railing that leads down the staircase of my mind.
(poems go here)
Obra Maestra
He called onto the dirt, made the soil reflective
The final ounce of life now materializing
Did you ever realize your lies are the reason I cry?
I try to hide the pain but, how much more can I take?
Do you realize it's not just my heart at stake?
I guess you never knew your actions hurt
I'm the one that fell too hard, too fast.
I guess what he felt wasn't happiness.
He saw her for the first time in six months.
Everything he had felt came rushing back like floods.
Who was I?
Nobody now.
Open up my eyes and what do I see,
A world full of lust, drugs, thugs, anger, and greed,
I don’t think this is how God really planned it to be.
It’d be so easy to change if someone planted that seed.
Perhaps broken roads
Create more beautiful paths
For ones fork in the road
Created a gloomy past
Lessons are learned
and the lessons are passed
For ones valuable mistake
Prevented a serious clash
Seconds,
Minuets,
Hours,
Days,
Weeks,
Months,
Years.
All spent on you.
Me,
Laughing with you,
Making memories with you,
Loving you.
When I was young she was taken from me
She was a second mother, a friend
After she died, I felt the joy she gave me die along with her
This was the spark of my depression that would build up over the years to come
The Boy who never wanted me—
To know anything
About where he had slept at night
The Boy who dreamt
Upon basement steps, locked behind a door
Of his father's key.
A book,sealed with tricks—
Tender little treasure,
I can see how broken you are;
How much pain you hold secret inside.
Hide away!
Close yourself off from unwanted destruction.
Shy away from those who may hurt you.
Do you remember me?
The one who calls you daddy?
I used to smile
like you'd say
as bright as the stars
I'm sorry if its unrecognizable now
Pain can really change you
I saw your Picture I Smiled.
I heard your Voice I Smiled.
I felt your Touch and, I Smiled.
I was Pained when there was no Thought.
I was Pained when there was no Emotion.
I was Pained when there was no Contact.
A sweet aroma, A calming sense
A solacing presence, A tender touch
Oh what I’d dreamed I’d one day find
Falling lies, severed words, tarnished feelings
All that I’d hoped I’d never experience or feel
I have trained to be a great house, with thick walls, doors only to open on my account.
I needed to separate, to investigate, to deny and to approve for them to come in.
Its under my control.
As i'm standing here
I hope you're under me
Know where i come from,
Meaning is where I ponder thee
Wonder is frustration
So lets get back to the basics
The yelling has stopped
His bags are packed
I love him unconditionally
He still left me
He was my fist kiss
Always will be my first love
I loved him with all my heart
He was still taken away from me
Smack
I take it
smack
I do not cry
smack
your voice never leaves my mind
Sucide
that sounds swell
Drugs
I've thought of that as well
Slowly the years of my life go
and I sit here with nothing to show.
I look up at the beautiful sky,
not really caring whether I live or die.
Some things just can’t be described.
(poems go here) The moonlight is so bright, so peaceful, so simple.
A heavy cloak of black attacks and quickly engulfs the powerful gem of Silver, reminding her that pure bliss can be shattered at a moment’s notice.
I was whole, once.
At least I think so.
Just because I can't remember not feeling like a mixed up jig-saw puzzle
doesn't mean I wasn't ever a complete entire unit...
Right?
Or maybe I'm wrong.
He says he’s broken all the time,
there’s something wrong with his head:
There are monsters in there
that push to get out.
It’s almost funny
because he’s the most whole person I’ve known.
Twisted wrong
Stepped over upon
I glare up to see
While on the ground
I see myself
To be the one
Who tortured me all along
And I now see
What wrong
I've done to myself
“Them”,” us”. “Us”, “we”.
By “them” I mean “us”, and by “us” I mean me.
But I also mean “them”.
Them, us. We, me.
The mentally ill that we be.
I believe that you're special.
I believe that when you hear my voice you smile.
I believe that your heart skips when you see me.
I believe you love me.
I believe that you know you were wrong.
My body was a temple
my heart made of gold
a stranger he was
so impulsive and so bold
he took what was mine
innocence forgotten
as he crossed the line
Who are you? Are we the samejust split between two spirits–lonely and tortured souls?You make me feel safe insideand that notion makes me shudder.You say you can’t be there for me,
As I lay here crying
As I lay here sick as can be
I feel the tears running along my cheeks
They're so warm, they burn
My cheeks are burning
And I feel tortured
I feel like every tear drop that burns
I stand with empty hands,
Scars on my wrists,
I didn’t know life would hurt like this.
Blood flows from an open wound,
Tears fall and burn,
Don’t get too concerned.
If I gave you my love, what would you do?
Would you tarnish and wreck it, like many before you?
Would I be heartbroken, one time more?
This time, would I actually score?
I can finally smile once again but only in the rain.
I run around and be myself but only in the rain.
I laugh and I jump in joy but only in the rain.
I forget about the pain you've caused me but only in the rain.
Dark Whisperer,
Dark Whisperer, hush up
For I am terrified
I can no longer endure
Yet another night
Of the taunting, and the pain
No longer can I stifle you
And it's driving me insane.
Eyes, deep as the Nile.
Lips, so angrily tempting.
Mind, an expansion of knowledge,
That pulls me closer than
Earth's gravitational pull.
Isn’t it funny, all these different feelings that come with different days?
No matter how far away you seem,
No matter how much you hurt me,
I will always love you.
I don’t need your approval, don’t worry,
Some days its a couple minutes, other days its hours. My mind races and never rests anywhere but you. All i think about now is you. I remember every moment together perfectly.. who else can say that about you?
Astounded
By your lies.
Can’t think straight
Devouring your promises
Entire days burned by what you did.
Feeding off my purity
Get out of my head.
Hating you
Is becoming easier.
I need relief
release
to let it go
and be set free
I need the pain to fade
the confusion to vanish
but most of all
I need you.
I gave my heart to you,
My heart beated for you.
My heart would have bled for you,
and in the end my heart died because of you.
My body fell weak from the pain,
The warmth I had from the kindness I showed,
Everything and everyone
move forward
farther away from me
who is stationary
never changing
never moving forward
if i could go forward
everything would change
for better or worse
A heart broken by one once trusted
A heart broken by one once loved
A heart broken by once believed in
That heart still lays waiting
It lays waiting to be fixed
Waiting to be made whole
Because bad things happen
And then life gets hard
Hope is lost along the way
But you must hold on
Because giving up is not an option
And failure means defeat
The wind shook the house on that cold, cold night
You were yelling at me, I didn't want to fight.
You stumbled down the stairs,
You stumbled into my room,
You grabbed me by the hair, and you blamed me.
I am here.
In this dungeon.
I fear losing my grip on sanity,
for the longer I am bound to this cage
the more I feel my mind chip away.
The lines are blurred by my watery eyes
The tears I cry rain down upon my lips
I taste the salt running through my cracks
I wonder how you came to be
for your stone cold heart doesn’t seem to beat.
There’s a chunk of ice in you chest,
frozen so cold
you will never rest.
The Love I gave you
could never undo
Selfish.
Skin on skin
My heart beats out of my chest
And into your hands.
Beads of sweat form, over populating my skin
As I fight the urge to draw you in.
You breathe me in. Inhale my flesh.
Remember the days when we were in love
The times we spent counting stars up above
The kisses we shared
The love we made
Is it really all gone
should I have stayed
Shadows.
Hush.
They follow you at night.
Shhh
The ghosts are watching;
they know you're not alright.
A toy you say?
Well that might be,
But look closer
At what you see.
Within it,
Many things twist and grind,
Gizmos and gadgets
Of all shapes and size.
The world is just an empty realm without you on my mind. It spins with no succession, it spins out of time. Without you, my heart shall bleed and never mend again. Without you, my world will crash more than it's ever had.
How is she supposed to know
That you're love was really so
When nothing but lies were told
You've broken our hearts
Tore her family apart
A home no more
Only an empty house
More burdens to hold
I have no heart, So how do I live ? I have no love, so what do I give ? I have no feelings so what do I spill . Why do I have I never have time to chill ? Why does being fake prevent you from being real ?
I see her hurting, lying broken,
Air filled with words unspoken,
He shouts and breaks again the silence
With his ceaseless violence,
And yet she remains, standing tall,
Leaning, breaking, against the wall,
SHADOW
It, who doesn’t hurt
It, who doesn’t care
But truthfully It is not who It tries to be
It is simple and It has feelings
Words hurt It and on the inside, It’s feelings scream
In the eye of the beholder, love is a powerful thing. It sways you left and right. Creates a language unknown. A language that is both verbal and physical.
I wish I could find someone that loved me for me and not 'cause of my body.
Someone to take care of me through it all.
Someone to pick me up when I fall.
like the way an entire scarf can be
unrecognizable
if you pull the right strings
like the way a teapot
shatters
when you drop it
like the way a melody is
distorted
when you add an extra sharp
my little brother is becoming that guy
that I dated in high school
the one that loved me until the next
pretty girl came along
the boy that called me beautiful
in the same breath he used to
Well you never know who you will meet and when. Lets face it you never know what meeting someone may bring. Let me tell you this girl has learned you never know what will happen when you meet someone.
Wide brown eyes meet green, both pairs filled with tears.
Faintly beats my heart, broken, full of pain.
I try, but cannot see your hidden fears.
You grasp my hand, I listen to the rain.
Love can't be touched;
Love isn't tame;
Love won't give you fame;
I love you so much
i cant help but clutch
my heart that you used as a game.
Hearts are just one big puzzle,
They are easily broken,
But they can be fixed,
Some pieces won't fit,
Because there simply incompatible,
With enough patience,
And the right touch,
That day will come someday
Not sure of the time or date.
Memories come back of that Sunday,
And my beating heart slows down its rate.
We are the misfits.
Some of us have learning disabilities.
Some of us have social problems.
Some of us have been abused.
Some of us have depression.
Some of us are sick.
We are the misfits.
You send monsters to kill me,
Yet sings that I never die.
How is it that you praise my ending-
And hold your breath as I wake?
As if I’m just your trojan pond.
I stood there one night and grace my eyes upon the sky. And said "please Angels send me a message, i need to speak with God." I' am sad Lord. My debt is building, yet from trying to better myself with school.
Apart from me, I am a part of you
I am with you, but you were never with me
WE, yes we were never one, you were more than half of me
But I wasn't nearly that close to you
Fear was my pending fate for you
A window frames a picture
Of beautiful mountains
Reaching high
Dressed in the green
Of a thousand trees.
A window frames a picture
Of black choking smoke-
Raging flames
A permanent solution for a temporary problem.
Crippling an innocent soul.
Forever silencing a beautiful voice.
Leaving us without our loved one.
You cannot see my pain,
Because it is in my heart.
All you see is gain,
But I am torn apart,
Physical wounds you can see,
Maybe then you will understand me,
Written in red,
Until I am dead,
Life is rough and we all have experienced the bumpy roads
keep your head up and hang in there
you see those bullies? that storm that just crushed your home? the adversities you face everyday?
dont let them get to you
Wondering mind leads you to question how to mend this relationship we so helplessly destroy.
It's like love without a purpose yet love of such chaos brings also moments of joy.
Its lost ,
And mostly forgotten about-
Trust is the only cost but most people take the cheap route.-
Often hidden deep inside out of touch with the truth-
Cause the past showed you pain which you grew accustomed to.-
Pressure up the side
Curls around the neck
Traces every curve
How does it form?
Continuity turned erratic
Straights transition to diagonals
Questions natures laws
Can anything be truly perfect?
It's been a long, cold winter.
My heart's got a splinter,
And it's getting more infected as the days go by.
It's been a hard couple months
But maybe it'll get better
With lips and fingers intertwined,
An angels song, I did hear
But for a moment, then 'twas gone
Leaving clear, sweet echoes in my ear
If one wish to me was giv'n
Through darkness black as coal,
I've known her since forever
So it is safe to say
I can see right through her
Through her skin deep beauty
Through to her soul
I sit on the floor as
I cry
I wonder why is this happening
I don't want a new "mom"
or "dad"
My foster parents
say they love me
I think I love them too
How can I love these people
(poems go here) To the high school girl, wanting more out of life but never finding it, you are broken, just as I have been
I’m caught in a whirlwind of fire,
The fire is what terrifies as well as soothes me
This whirlwind is a creation of my love, hate, and desire
Origin, the sweetest of roses,
I wonder what its like
to be happy
to be someone who isn't me
to be normal
to not have these thoughts
to be able to just "fit in"
just one of those people who's there
who every one likes
I need closure
I need to know
why
why you said those words
how they tasted when they left your lips
little did you know their outcome
you cant tell someone "go die" and expect them to be okay after that
I’m done with lying and crying and feeling this way
Of laying in the dark, knowing that for my sins I will pay
Of pretending for you, that I really want this
When really it is our friendship that I miss
I'm sick of this conformity;
it's no longer the place for me.
I'm sick of pretending to be something I'm not,
just so you can feel complete.
I'm not happy or sad,
about where I now stand.
Did love naught ever come this way for thee?
Or did love take captive thou soul to slay?
Faults rarely seen in love – blind cannot see.
Buds of love’s young spring never dreamt this day.
In my eyes
I am a burden
I am arrogant
I am argumentative
I am over-emotional
I am not living up to their expectations
I am imperfect
In my eyes
There once was a girl who knew everything,
A witty comeback, an intelligent review, a passing observation
All eloquently exhaled from her blood red lips.
With a transparent snap of her fingers
As I sit here and lust for this man I wanna cry but my tears have too much pride to fall down my face. I sometimes have to wonder if my greed got me into this situation.
I know me saying this isn't right
But it's how I feel
I really want to end my life
Yes I am for real
Chills go down my spine;
my hairs stand up on end;
my skin sensitive to the touch;
my heart alert for any sign of pain.
Like every other time, it blinds my eyes from truth, and cripples my mind from reason,
Broken like the keys of an old piano,
Fake like all the lies that you've told her,
Tattered like the curtains of an old abandoned house,
Abused like a stray dog...
Broken like a rusty 1969 Chevelle,
I dream a dream so dear and ture.
but to see you be in such a mood,
make my dream come fade.
I want to see you dream A dream I do.
but in these darkened halls,
I see and hear no dream.
Don’t Give Up On Me
Don’t give up on me
I’ll lend a hand and meet you halfway
We will stand by each other’s side day by day
Hold you close and hold you near; please never be afraid to whisper to me your biggest fear
Sitting on these stupid tracks;
if the train comes, let it.
I know I won't regret it.
I'm sick and tired.
You don't get it.
I try to net it,
but you can't strangle bad luck.
This ring and I have been through it all
Seasons, months, funerals and joy
This ring is my brother, my sister, and friend
Till death do us part this ring is my man
If I never said I love you, could it be taken away?
Could the words I want you mean the same?
If I never taken them away.
I love how you smile and love the way you laugh
My body pushes breath from my lungs.
It’s a forceful breath of course.
Because I don’t want to breathe.
I don’t want to show any ounce of life.
Because I fear people will notice me.
I rather cringe
They lay with no bed,
They lay with no sheet,
They stay on the floor,
They stay with out heat,
They sleep with no dream,
They sleep with only fear,
They wake with no love,
They wake with a tear,
Lost in an empty space
craving something to replace
the emptiness.
I was told there was one,
they called it the son
and the light.
I looked towards the sky,
the sun blaze in my eye,
It was the most beautiful, bitter fruit.
Though each bite was laced with poison,
I could not help but eat
for the hope that
I also discover the sweetness.
Your presence was fascinating.
Time together spins a silver flurry
The night wraps around my limbs to comfort
Vital force screams for you from my body
Will, tenet, and my guard are taken down
Affection from you melts me like chocolate
One drink to wash away the pain,
Just one more,
One sip to cleanse the sorrow,
Just one more,
One drink to ease the suffering,
Just one more,
That will come tomorrow.
One mind
Incapable of Change
Like a paper airplane
making the same folds
since you've been this old
Unable to watch it sore
From the fears it'll crash into the floor.
You make it seem so sure
How many tears have I cried?
How many scars do I hide?
Too many.
Why doesn't pain go away?
Why does it last for days?
I don't know.
I was always being swept away by the current, it hit me hard. Crushed my lungs, bruised my skin, bloodied my face and body. I never understood why.
I fell in love one day
The day I broke my heart
By her beauty, my eyes drew up
But my hope fell from the start
Although the tunnel isn't so dark
My heart is still empty
Soon I will embark on a journey
That will take me away,
Away from my current darkness
It will change my view
And lighten my mood
Long brown hair,
Dark, frizzy and out of touch.
Long black lashes,
Glasses that covered her big brown eyes.
Trust Issues
I loved him
I thought we were forever
But he had someone else
He thought he was clever
Smiling when you feel like crying
Laughing when you feel like dying
Loving when you feel like hating
Apologizing when you've done nothing wrong
It's always the same thing
Like a repetitive song
In a quiet little town
I owned a small shop
Inside sat a table
With a vase perched on top
A heart-shaped vase
Shades of red and pink so bright
It sat in the window
Each day and each night
What a feeling
Seems so strange
This weird feeling
I can't explain..
Feeling a change
Only I seem to notice
How frightened I am
By things I can't explain..
It’s a hard thing to describe
It’s so hard to explain
Just I can’t help it
Feeling this way
Just the way you smile
The way you sing a song
Makes my heart soar
A million miles away
A girl pictures herself as someone other than her.
A girl who has everything that anyone would be envious of.
She feels as though there is no hope for her.
hell is when you cannot stop the tears
and you're stuck alone on a public bus
and everyone stares at you with pity
while you cry silently and pray to God
that you don't break into sobs.
and you do.
Feeling discriminated
emotions cumulated
all my feelings
to begin eliminating
people from my heart
for underestimating that I’m also a human being.
Broken curfews,
Broken laws,
Broken mirrors
on her walls.
Broken bottles,
Broken homes
Broken boy
feels all alone.
I was cute when I was four till I was abandon and forgotten
now theirs hate, mistreating and rejection started to become common
I hate when people ask about my parent's its to awkward
Feeling alone
Let down
Hurt
Misunderstood
Unloved
Ready to cry at any given moment
Just wanna be hugged, and loved , and held , and asked are you ok
I cry at the most random moments
To see the one I love, happy, means the world to me
Even if that means I've got to set him free
I love him
But he loves someone else
I will never fall in love for fear of a constantly harrowed heart
Me duele tanto el Corazon
Por tanto amar a otra sin que conociera
Que en mi mente
Solo vive ella y la memoria de su cantar.
We seeked happiness in each other
Selfishly obtaining it for ourselves
Now all thats left is the detritus
The poison in our veins
The hatred to this game
Sometimes certain situations are just so hard to deal with, other situations are easy, but the hard ones teach you a lesson in life, weather its for the worst or the better.
The things that you love
The things you enjoy
The joys of life
The trials
Tribulations
Joys
Deaths
Triumphs
The life you lived as a child
The life you're living now
Walking; Talking; Chatting; Clicking;
Crashing against the gray stone rocks
So fierce intense each step by step.
The ocean in the flicker of an eye.
Leading from up high down to the beach,
Going to class shoelaces untied and I don’t mind,
Got my head down, headphones in, walking a straight line,
Keep moving forward without a doubt leave the past behind,
dam valentines is already hear for real
cuz i need more then a day to show you how i feel
i remember the first day that we met
u had a ponytail n u was wearin sweats
I thought to myself you look kinda cute
An angel from above,
I thought you to be.
We were yearning for love,
Never thought you would leave.
She was never the type to fall in love
Rather fall into bed
"Having a good time" was one of her mottos
Got what she wanted then fled
Hell no she didn’t want no ring on her finger
Tears streaming down her face.
Seems like everything is pulling her down.
Staring up at the sky,
Praying for a chance that things will get better.
Don't worry,
Give it time.
Life is a rollercoaster.
If my heart was singing
It'll crescendo lovely notes
Repeatedly singing
I want a sunday kindof love
So I don't mourn monday
Leave me broken on tuesday
Over thinking on wednesday
So, they say that words have power
that we create matter,
but all of my words
haven't felt like they have power.
I often look to the yellow lillies in the garden on campus
Friends pass me and time shifts
Is it not the success that people want?
Or perhaps it's the driven motive in which we attempt to strive
Unjust it truly is,
He stands alone
Fighting to hold it together, but he's already breaking
Crying the tears that no one should have to shed
Using black to help conceal the pain so red
I hear them laugh and joke and play.
I see their smiles as clear as day.
They’re talking to their "BFFs".
While they dance and sing, I’m by myself.
The smile on her lips
Had never reached her eyes
She hid her pain and worries behind
Her perfect porcelain disguise
I am powerless.
Powerless to help you. To save you.
But you say you don’t want to be saved. Is it because of the power?
The power that controls you in that moment?
When the edge cuts and the blood flows
I thought I knew it once
Only to leave me helpless and exposed
I lie on the floor
Heart bleeding tears
And eyes forever lost
You see darkness in my eyes
The pain in the tears that I cry
You used to hold my hand
But that has come to an end
All that I ask is that you don't judge me in the end.
(poems go here) I don't know where it went wrong.
I don't know what's goin on.
It feels like it has been years since you were gone.
So I'm up at night, thinking about you, and you’re alright.
Love life
love hard
times move on
whether you were a part of them
at all
can't move
so stop trying
hearts bleeding
eyes crying
there's an expiration date
Some call it beautiful.
Others say it's butterfly,
Those who feel it say "love is in the air"
But I say, love is what you give.
The greatest achievement for every man
Is to love God, himself and others.
Silence.
Delve into the Mind of Depth
The Hole of Vastness
The Pit of Darkness.
Welcome to the world of Painless Absence,
Great grey wall surround this castle of Madness.
I knew that when I’d fall asleep, I’d only dream of you.
And of the Last rose I’d ever get from the man that loved me too.
And when the night is over, I wake up and I cry.
I care so much it hurts..
Deep inside my heart,
And now my eyes are open
Because we are apart,
This world is fading.
It is turning dark.
My bright world of smiles,
Has begun to fall apart.
Broken street I’m forced to travel as ice tickles porcelain cheek.
Crystal leaves forbidden trail now, my traitor heart still beats for thee.
Time enchants her victim, begs me near to sharp being…
Wraps round frail shoulders as she tickles porcelain cheek.
You tell me I'm no good
With every word I say
Everything comes out lies, betrayal, and trust
including your own friends would say
those things
Have you seen the things I've done?
No.
Ladies and Gentlemen...
We are gathered here today to celebrate something wonderful.
A life.
If only you knew how much you mean to me,
How much I still care.
If only you knew that your smile makes my day complete,
And your hugs leave me comforted.
My individuality is
Locked in a little box.
My insane attempts to maintain a higher status-quo
Shoot me and throw me down a fiery hole.
What the heck am I saying?!
I’m surrounded by family and central heating in
Tough to live through, it truly is
Involves many of America’s kids,
Maybe a friend, maybe a foe
The sad thing is we will never know,
Once a friend now turned to dust
Bullying begins, friendship rusts,
I reach for the flower labled "family"
and it wilts at my touch.
It falls apart.
I reach for the house labled "security"
and it ignites at my touch.
It burns to the ground.
Pain inside,
Dripping down from me like a poisonous surprise,
Why does my heart keep beating,
When all things lovable seem to be fleeting.
Oh joy, the gracious sunrise has come to take me home,
Sadness is so peculiar
It creeps up on you, and then bam,
It hits you with its full force
It overpowers you
And you don’t know what to do
You just sit there, weeping, hoping
I trudge along the halls hiding behind this mask.
Hiding behind the shadow that I always seem to cast.
With sad eyes I walk by staring at the floor.
People shoving past, things I've learned to ignore.
Any man/woman can say they love someone
But only when they find true love
Will they be willing to change within themselves
Everyone is destined to find the happiness they deserve
That's it. It's over.
I crumple, ruined, to the ground.
Attempt to hide from prying eyes.
Those eyes.
Ones I've followed, held on to,
Throughout the labyrinth of my life.
To Hold.
To Feel.
To Write.
To Draw.
To Move.
To Clench.
Mine to Own,
Yours to Hold.
God’s best tool He’s given me.
Hands.
Is this what it feels like...
to break?
It's not as painful as I imagined...
I feel so numb.
I don't feel anything anymore.
Even the hot tears don't exist.
There is a castle underneath the Sea,
Under the Moon.
Only those who have lost can see it.
Only the ones that have felt true sorrow.
She held the pieces in her hands,
Broken, bleeding shards of red.
They breathed the pulse of broken life,
Love, Anger, Hope, and Strife.
It hurts, every whisper
Each wayward glance, so close
Every moment heard and felt
Twisting the shard with each tremor, vibration
Icy crystalline glass wedged to deep to pull
Oh beating drum in my body and ears
I’m staring into your beautiful eyes,
As we sit away from the world,
What people say about us is only lies,
There’s nothing wrong with me and you.
Come
My love
My sweet dove
I miss you so
I look for you above
And yet they tell me to say no
They say to say no to the love that grows
When you left me, left for good I said I was done
There is a voice that echoes without measure It bounces off the faces of those who came before it It dances in the acres of nostalgia This voice carries a fire That burns Burns With the thrills of a thousand souls It possesses the pain and agony o
She looks his way,
A small, gentle smile on her face.
A big, beautiful smile is looking back.
She laughs,
Though she doesn't know why.
“What's so funny?” he asks sweetly.
“Nothing,” she replies, smiling.
I take a knife
And slit my skin,
Exposing my heart
Reach in
And tear it out still beating
Its erratic rhythm.
I show my exposed story,
My deepest truth
Only to One
Who gives me a reaction
I live in the places in-between
as a shadow to the right as a whisper in the night.
In fantasy, in dream I lay, as a flicker in the corner of his eye.
On the outside I'm strong
But on the inside I'm in Hell
I make subtle cries
But no one who notices will help
(poems go here) On the outside I'm strong
But on the inside I'm in Hell
I make subtle cries
But no one who notices will help
You know when you were little
And you had your hand
In the cookie hand
You turned and almost died of embarrassment
When you saw your dad’s face
You know that feeling
When you’re empty and alone
When there is no one you can turn to
Remembering when the sun once shone
You used to be able to laugh
About nothing at all
What you see is someone
Who is so Beautiful but yet so ugly.
The wish for her Anger and Hatred
in her heart to be Broken is never for-filled.
Suicidal thoughts haunt her day after day
Sometimes it hurts to live,
To wake up and not have a reason to...
It hurts to move, to remember, to want.
That pain once constantly plagued my heart...
Until I realized there IS a reason.
I'm going to take this time to say,
that this woman is beautiful l in her own way.
From the joy in her smile and the sparkle in her eyes,
proves that there is more than this woman then betwee her thighs.
It seems ridiculous to me
Spectacularly arranged
Uniquely designed
Strings of that which is hear laced together in particular patterns, so necessary
A carnal infusion
Don't give up, my darling
With your shriveled bones,
Broken skin,
By razors touch
You are dancing with fairies
But don't you know?
They have not yet
Shown their teeth.
She suffers in silence. Her tears unseen by the human eye, Her screams unheard by the human ear. When she walks into school, it is everything she fears. They call her names and they think it is all fun and games.
(poems go here) My Frist Man
so there we are hiding everything from every one
I don't know why are we ashamed or maybe its just you
if its just you,then we should just stay away from each other
When you hear the story of ignorance think of me
For I’ve been here for as long as the Earth been to existence
I’ve been here when God was creating the universe
I’ve ask god to create human because of bored-some
my reality.
day by day you tell me what i can do
we do not have the same mentality
but if you only knew what i go through
have a seat
ill tell you my story
ill read off this sheet
but dont you worry
I’m so glad you’ve moved on
I’m so glad you’ve found better
you finally look like your life is together
I’m so happy you’ve moved on
and found someone that makes you smile
someone that makes you feel
This life is short
This life is dreary
The hours go by
My mind grows weary.
Thinking of tomorrow
Brings me to tears
This life we live
Is too full with fears.
But too many worries
Tap tap,
on the glass
of life that is swift.
Lift,
up the locusts from their chests,
A plague would be uncalled for, so
To suggest
the progress
achieved so much earlier in
Have you ever feel ugly?
I want you to know to me you have one of the prettiest, exotic face I have ever seen.
Have you ever feel lonely?
I want you to know that I am here for you .
Have you ever feel unloved ?
Would you stay? Just a little while longer.
Must you leave me right now?
Would you let me feel your gentle touch
Before I can feel it no more.
And your beautiful lullaby voice.
I am tired of playing this sick game
I don't understand why I always take the blame
Sure I don't give people the impression
But it sure feels like depression
Someone needs to take the pain away
The metal soothes the skin.
The red ribbons wrap
'round the wrists, flowing, endless.
The waterfalls cascade down ebony cheeks.
The laughter echos through the mind.
The waterfalls dry.
The ribbons end.
She’s a broken angel
She can’t fly anymore
She’s a broken angel
She can’t deal no more
The mornings are ending
The nights are dead
The walls are pressing in
Voices in my head
(poems go here) Its da same stuff jus a different day n I'm tired I'm tired of da fussin n fightin da uncontrolable cryin I'm tired of goin 2 bed at 4am thnkn wat if?
It was on an usual August day
This story is not easy to say
Without getting all teary eyed
Knowing it was my last goodbye
I can see the heartache in your eyes
someone before me made you want to die
I've seen it all so many times
I'll try my best but still I'll make you want to cry
A solid heart or a plastic smile? I wonder and ponder on this subject in my class , My teacher distorting history to make plenty cash , I just back and laugh .
For You I have changed my ways
I have gone from that nice little girl to someone older in age.
For You I have turned my back on all things that sing
What is Love?
What is its meaning?
Is Love an action?
Or is it a feeling?
Is Love worth the pain?
Is it worth the tears?
Will it last a month?
Or will it last for years?
Pain in my sight
Feeling like there's no more fight
I can't sleep through the night
With all these tear
feel like it ant real
My Momma my queen
We living in these streets
How does it feel to be let down, lead on, lied to, and hurt
How does it feel to be kicked down, stepped on and treated like dirt
How does it feel to love someone who doesn't love you back
She was hypnotized by words, taken away by temptation
She was one small person in this nation
Her thoughts keep her awake at night, the demons take her for a spin
Her darkest fantasies were her sin
Stay Strong” they tell you
but they don’t seem to understand.
You stayed strong for as long as you could
And now you’re letting go
Prevailing as it may seem
Your words of enmity will not diminish me
For behind these misleading tears
I am tenacious and will not wear
You are feeble and full of remorse
And I can conceive why you pierce at hearts
Drowning in the sins and sorrows
that I brought upon myself.
Tripping over the memories past
that I personally colored black.
Suffocating from the sense of fear and hatred
that I refused to let go.
I am young, I am free,
I am looking for what I want to be.
Doctor or a lawyer, a teacher or a poet.
Humm, what will I be?
I won't be a bully for reason you should know,
(poems go here) I stopped at our house last night.
With every inch of driveway that I covered I felt a calming familiarity.
Justice and praise
to the things you embrace
weeping for the moment
despising the shame
we take on none
and shake off the sun
to be drenched in sorrow
only to be captured by grace
Sometimes we fall,
we fall down down down,
into the abyss we go,
untill we hit the bottom.
We hit hard.
Adrenaline rushes through veins.
A rabbit runs along.
“I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.”
(poems go here) This World... This place
is so cold and hard
It feels like there are boulders on my chest
They crush my body
Im going to die soon, why care about living for.
Hardships and force is the only time i praise the lord.
And they say, "whenever it rains it pours".
I kicked misery out and now im showing pain the door.
You sit alone, not forgotten, but not wanted
with scratches, stiff buttons, dusty old lens.
You remember what it was like
they watched the world through Your eyes
There are no film, no batteries, or bulb to be found.
Come one! Come all! Come look! Come see!
Does anyone want to play the Knife Game with me?
Ah you! The girl in the front, with the pretty hair!
Come play the Knife Game, if you truly dare!
Always smiling, never does she have a frown
Through the good times, and the bad
She stands tall and strong
It seems like nothing can break her, nothing at all
But look deeper, look into her eyes
When you think all is right and nothing can go wrong
Life tests you again to see where you are most strong
Life feels empty
When you're not there.
All the twinkling stars
So full of despair
Life feels tragic
When you're not around,
No hope, no happiness,
Head facing the ground.
How can they be so completely immersed?
This “love” that barely had a chance to start,
Is sickening to the deep’st part of my heart.
Why was I doomed to have this awful curse?
That day she wasn't doing too well, we could tell. She seemed a little depressed, we said she needed rest. We had no idea what was inside her head, so she did what we all dread. She cut herself and dropped dead.
Tell her you love her.
Go ahead.
Do it.
Tell her ten times a day.
A hundred times.
Until she believes it.
You’ll know because she’ll cry at the idea
of losing you.
Have you ever thought?
The girl you called fat today in the hallway.
She is starving herself.
Even though her ribs show and she cans see the bones in her arms.
She starves herself.
I was tried of it all
The profanity
The abuse
The lies I told
My caring parents
I though I couldn’t do anything
But when all of the above
Came into one
I had to do something
You push me down
You Kick Me Down
You Dig a Hole
You Stabbed My Back
And push me down
Again And Again
But what’s the point
What’s the problem?
I’m I Not good enough
Bandaids swirl around the sugar bowl
Brightly colored strips wearing white textures
A warm and worn comforter
Cocoa and petals inside motivation
Salt-flavored showers drain while blossoms begin stretching wide
Could you look me in the eyes?
My mistake is easy to repair!
Don't treat me so coldly, do not despise
Simply because the crack was large.
Fuck love, I’m tired of trying.
Feel like I’m dying.
A black hole where my heart used to be,
Since you took it from me.
You ripped it straight from my chest,
Made it hurt in the most torturous ways.
Shingles she had accounted sitting for twenty-five
Holding onto nothing while her ornaments eat the dust
Frost-bitten frigid air whistling on the field
Storm-beaten rails singing water-songs
-
Do you not see your hurting her from the inside out
That soon tears that wish to rain become a sullen drought
Misery from the mornings start
Till night when the sun departs
No wounds visible for the eye to see
At the age of 1, I couldn't remember much.
I just knew, that when I turned 5 I had to be tough.
I told the teachers,I swear I did
I told them everytime I got hit in the head.
Sleeping deeply, always lightly
Never sweetly but always nightly.
Nightmares haunt me taunting softly
Leaking deeply into my reality.
Was it a dream or was it real?
These wicked thoughts are out to drown me,
I fled crime scene no turning back not even glance
Remembering myself when given a second chance
My body, mind and soul was laid out on the floor
Then I realized this is not exactly what I wished for
I didn’t come here to script up a silly rhyme,
Putting together letters of the alphabet and creating a story produced on my own time.
I came to speak you a lullaby with all the fixings of my broken past
I was a little girl.
~Hell & Back
i’ve seen hell & back
i’ve been through here before
the scars lie on my back
i’ve cried many tears
this isn’t fiction this fact
i’ve lost friends
i’ve gained angels