Upside down crosses and middle fingers

The taste of my last cigarette and rebellion lingers

I’m holding his hand in mine and a bottle in the other

Just because we make love doesn’t mean he’s my lover

Just because I’m defiant doesn’t mean I’m sure

Just because she goes to church doesn’t mean she’s pure

She kissed me last week,

Told me she likes girls

I told her I was straight,

But I would give it a whirl

And we kissed like barbarians

Almost turned me into a lesbian

It probably would of pissed my dad off

But that’d just be a bonus

I’d get revenge for all those times he’s called me soulless

And I’d get a girl to make up for all this loneliness

That I feel echo off the walls of my empty heart

It was once filled but life has torn that apart

And the only thing I’m full of now is bitterness and hatred

My body is a punching bag and nothing is left sacred

A piece of gum chewed up and spit out and out of flavor

Whispered about and frowned upon by all of my neighbors

The only people that accept me are the saints and the shattered

And I guess as the end of the day those are all that matters

Because the healed and the healthy are usually not good friends

They just judge and reject anything that isn’t like them

Upside down crosses and middle fingers

In my mouth the taste of tears and alcohol linger

I’m holding a loaded pistol in one hand with my finger on the trigger

Just because I’m breathing doesn’t mean I’m alive







Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741