Broken

Sitting in front of the door with the tears streaming down my face,

Knowing that there is no way that I can get out of this dark place.

Just as I thought things were turning around, life decides to take a turn,

And it feels like no matter what the lesson is, it is something that I will never learn.

Sitting on the floor with my hand covering my face so no one will hear,

And I start to fall apart even more because I really thought this was going to be our year.

The last time I saw you, it felt different, and I was filled with so much hope,

But now I am at a point where I don't think I can continue to cope.

There is no other way to say it, but I love you,

And it sucks because I know there is nothing else that I can do.

I thought we would have that love story that I always wanted to tell, the love story of the ages,

But I guess our story is over, and I can't get myself to turn the pages.

I am stuck on our chapter, because it is the one that I want to live in forever,

But what I saw as a never ending love was something that you just saw as a never.

I feel like an idiot because I so badly wanted to believe in us,

And I poured my heart into you, and I had filled you with so much trust.

I can remember every conversation that we had, from the first time that I laid eyes on you,

And I thought we would have that story to tell, after everything that we have been through.

I have never felt such a strong connection with someone before,

And it sucks because I know that I need to close that door.

I love hanging out with you, but I know you will never see me as more than just a friend,

And I am at the point where I know your part in my story has to come to an end.

I am never going to be able to get over you if I continue to see you,

And I want you in my life, but there is nothing else that I can do.

If I had known how much you were going to mean to me, I would have left you alone,

Because you are the one who I turn to who always reminds me of home.

You gave me a hug, and rubbed my back like you never did before,

And for the first time in my life, I had thought that maybe you realized you wanted something more.

We played cards, and it brought back so many memories, and you even said the same,

And it made my heart melt when you sat there and said my name.

You smacked the cards first, and my hand ended up on top of yours and it made the butterflies come back,

And it that moment, it felt like everything was right on track.

But I realized that it was one sided, and you never stepped up to me like I did for you,

And for a split second, it felt good, and I thought you were feeling it too.

But I am back to realizing that I fucked up, and that to you we are only friends,

And that even though we don't want it to, all good things must come to an end.

It hurts, because everyone knew I wasn't good enough, but I so badly wanted to believe I was,

And for months, I was genuinely happy, and you were the cause.

But then Summer ended, and you moved away, my heart started to break,

But I still kept trying, because there was something about you that I couldn't shake.

It started off with just my heart breaking, but now so is the rest of me,

Because I love you, and I know you and me is something that will never be.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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