I am lifeless.

A heart without a beat.

A body without a soul.

A face without a smile.

Ripped of my innocence and left with the empty shell of who I used to be.

The terror-filled nightmares have me screaming.

I just want everything to stop.

 

Why am I suffering? Am I the only one?

The only one who cries herself to sleep.

The only one with lines drawn on her arms.

The only one dealing with the shrieking voices in her head, telling her to end it all.

Why do I have to suffer?

How can I be filled with life but remain empty?

Where did it all go?

 

I feel it. The warmth.

On my skin, but never inside.

I’m cold. Alone. Dead.

Never to know what a smile is. What it feels like.

It was difficult to remember. My smile.

Soft but contagious, it had stained my lips like blood.

The same blood I tasted as I bit my tongue hard to keep from screaming.

 

My insides are too damp with uncried tears.

I am just a hollow plastic doll with a painted happy face.

The mirror lies to me. Bringing to light all my flaws.

Whenever I saw my reflection, I didn't know who was staring back.

Every day I plaster my face with fake a smile.

I can’t take it anymore.

 

I am lifeless. A lifeless heartbeat.