Its scribbled in my head
Dripping with blood
Mess
That's what I am
A girl my past self would not be proud of
Me
A liar
A mess
Constantly depressed
And upset
Cuts on my thighs
Im always trying to hide
Only known to a few
Yet even they don't know
My whole truth
How much of a mess
This loving girl
Has become.
Pasting on a smile
Everyday
Constantly acting okay
When guilt and hate
Pain and sadness has taken up residence
On the inside
Hidden
Only coming out at night
Making me cry
And bleed myself dry.
Love
A dream I will never achieve
Because who could ever love
A girl like me
Smile,
always fake
Laughter,
never true
Bruises in the mind
Tears sucked dry
Hope dissipated
Happiness, never true
Medicine never helps the only medicine that I can stand is painted on my legs
Scarred in my mind
Caught in my throat
Crying
And cutting
Secretly dying
But no one will ever See
Because that is just me
You pass me in the streets a smile on my face
Ear buds plugging the world away
You see me in your class
Trying to do my best
I'm the one you see at work
Always asking about your day
Lying when you ask about mine.
Lies have taken over, I'm fine, I'm happy, I'm tired, I'm having a good day.
But you'll never know
You'll never see beyond this mask
So cleverly sculpted to my face
You will never see the true me
Because if you did
You would just run away.
So I'll leave you with this:
Oh yeah. Im okay im just stressed and tired. Its no biggie.
You'll never know the true meaning of that phrase.
And that is okay.
If anything, it's better this way