i guess i knew
i guess i knew i would shatter
if i let myself fall for you as hard as i did.
but i did not expect microscopic shards of myself
to fly through the atmosphere and land miles apart.
i didn't\ expect to not be intact anymore.
i guess i knew you'd burn my skin
when i touched you for the first time.
but i did not think id be set on fire
reduced to ashes
when the feeling of you was absent.
i guess i knew you didn't mean it
when you held me and said you loved me that night.
but i thought you at least saw me as a friend
as someone you wanted to keep around forever, just like you said
i didn't even consider the fact that you could've been using me
that i was just time filler, not a person...
but now i am sitting here wearing your shirt
and everything is reminding me of you
and black shadows in my room morph into your silhouette
and i miss you so god damn much
and i cant decide which is more intense;
the pain of missing you
of the pain of knowing you don't miss me