thoughts
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At times I feel like a treeseeded in a hard placeor grown in cementstruggling
I want to be like a treealways looking upwards whiledigging my heels into the earth
Danger.
Warning.
Don't step there.
Please.
Don't step that low.
Don't go high, either.
Don't even move.
The mines are all around you.
Perhaps the great chasm between who he is and who he's becoming is best kept in his peripheral vision, all to maintain love's pedestal in its sacred, upright position - that monument to pure intention.
a broken pencil
my thoughts wander
through the halls
of wonder
trying to make
beauty from mess
my thoughts they struggle
to put everything in place
keep your ears open
don't look too far
we're somewhere nearby
close enough you can hear us
if you'd listen
stop talking, if only
you'd just stop
talking
we listen
Indulging the mind.
Experience what you find.
Lakes before oceans.
Thoughts before motions.
Into the darkness.
Don't be heartless.
I alone am the voice inside my head
i'm my own alter ego
who wants myself dead
you are an ally
To who i am
an ally to someone
i wish I were not
in truth you will see
As I lay
Full of dismay
I drift far away
I hear my thoughts say
The dark was more enticing
Than the day
Typically he prefers to be an optimist
to see the good & be grateful for everything that he does have.
Living day to day, unbound by anyone or anything beyond himself.
My heart aches and yearns,
my eyes have no more tears to shed,
like experiencing a drought
my mind can't think straight anymore, it can't focus
you fill my head, day and night
i am weary
As embers in the night,
you set my heart on fire
intense and violent, wildly out of control
spreading intensely
i find myself lost in the thought, that is "you"
though maybe it was my own wishful thinking
The one I thought,
For once in my lifetime,
Understood me,
Was the one
Who misunderstood me the most
In my life!
#MywordsOnMycanvas
Days come and go
But my love for you will remain the same
Time flutters through
Tik tok, tik tok
i awoke and pondered how the day would unfold
then i paced and wondered what each minute would hold
'til the seconds unfurled and the clock hands whirled
and the smirking moon curled, the night sighed, stars twirled
Brain running a thousand miles a minute
Thoughts about you
Thoughts about friends
Thoughts of sadness
Thoughts of anxiety
You are the most thought of
You rule every other thought
These feelings consume my bones, as a distant depression arose, those feelings of freedom and destiny are dethroned. I would not have been happy, but would I have meaning?
Close your pretty eyes,
Let your mind be clear,
give it many tries,
until your vicinity disappears.
Can you feel your sunshine soul?
Can you hear your heart of gold?
Can you perceive your passion for life,
At times I'm just drunk
On myself
And i see you clamouring
Within yourself'
Struggling to accept
My mischievous celeste.
Do I prick your vein?
Do I destroy your game?
I was alone in the silence,
As planets spun around me.
I'm alseep.
I was alone in the violence,
As bullets fly around me.
I'm asleep.
I was alone in the quiet.
Thoughts feel heavy.
SPINAL contusions upon final conclusions and delusions of sorrow that are rich and aged, if IM in reclusion i avoid confusion in seclusion from 2morrow inside of a cage, i stretch and reach across chasms of the deep, spinning a web of deceit and s
Some days I sit on my porch
And stare at my galloping
Thoughts and imaginations
Then it hits me
That singularity log pure consciousnesses ,
A moment of unbridled joy
Fierce yet tranquil
Are you so invested in the easment of your own internal quarrel
that you've gone so far as to project your disposition on the fate of others?
Have you thusly desposed of the morals taught by mothers?
Our life has many complexities,
Just for a fraction of second,
Think yourself as robust,
You have the potential,
To change the world
thoughts,
They say familys deeper than blood
but how can you hurt someone you love
Saw them grow up
that not enough
The pain in their heart
but their not giving up...
I worry for tomorrow, will there be another day?
I try to stay strong, but the pain won't go away.
We're consumed by this anguish, trapped in solitude.
Maybe life is like art?
Given a blank canvas at the start.
As life starts going;
Art begins flowing.
Every humans piece of artistic production is unique.
I walk into the winter night
And the fragrance of the Queen of the Night embraces me
It is sweet
I gulp in lungfulls of it
As if it is a draught
I am greedy
I want to breathe it all in
The hand which has touched my heart
Should have been my healer
Gone are the days, years, minutes and seconds
When your name was synonymous with mine
The whole universe seems thirsty
His thoughts stole my heart
sometimes i don’t really know if there’s anyone there
downcast, empty, broken
i wait for someone
someone who may or may not come for me
alone i wait
As the seconds pass, so does my mood change
I turn to all directions but everything is strange
I live in a past that is no longer true
What should I do,give me clue
I keep losing control every day
When she smiles,
I smile.
When she laughs,
I laugh.
When she loves,
I love.
When she thinks,
I think
I run when I'm scared
I run when I laugh
I run through my hair
I run from a graph
I run through time
I run and I'm close
The reason people turn cold is because the body can no longer handle the fire constantly suffocating us from the inside.
We've learned the more you scream the more smoke invades our lungs, choking our voice.
Some days are nothing but black
Fighting a battle in endless fog
Seeing nothing, hearing only pitiful static
Some days are nothing but black
Nights bring emptiness, fading wordlessly to fog
...I wasn’t always like this you know,
there was a time when I saw beauty in life,
electricity in the magnificent mechanics of life,
It’s June.
I am laying on my bed.
It’s two in the afternoon.
The sun is trying to welcome me with its warm arms
come outside
think about me when it’s rainy
and you crave something warm
think about me at school
like how we cuddled in your dorm
why is it so hard for me to find happiness? maybe because that i don’t know whats happiness for me.
Thoughts invite Emotions to a dance
An elegant waltz
They don't skip a step
For the fear of telling the story wrong looms over their heads like the gleaming chandelier
Held together like glue
Is it ..." Politically Incorrect " ... ?
For Me To Suggest ....................................................
Our Lives Are CONTROLLED By A ... "Secret Sect" ... ?!?
Is It ... " Politically Incorrect " ... ?
My train is always speeding; thundering down the track at full speed.
It heads nowhere in particular.
Whenever it stops to unload a thousand passengers, a thousand more board.
Most are unwelcome.
Hot water deeper than the length of my hand.
Three false candles illuminate the darkness.
Like a dealer with cards Pandora shuffles.
Oh how greatly I hate the winter days
So long, and cold, and void of all ardor
It makes me feel so numb, so very dazed
My feelings in disarray and disorder
A world full of noise,
Voices vying for attention.
Girls drenched in makeup,
Just one of the playboys.
Busy streets,
Have you ever wondered
Where all that it's rained?
All at the same time
And how many people that's pained?
Flood gates open
Right over the heads
Today was like every other day
It was so terribly long and so terribly dreary
I fear these feelings will never end
I’ll always feel so dark feel so hopeless
I try to spend the night with someone new
I’m on a repeat, always with you
All of the flames, yours
Is the guilt required when I’m out of all doors
I can feel your presence in my fingers
The world seems lonely
Deep within your thoughts
A barren field of nothing
Yet, it's something
Both simultaneously
And disturbing, but
Without these thoughts
We'd all be the same
Thoughts Goin again as they always do at night...
Battle of the miND, alone as always only me who stands to fight...
A fight I am barely winning tho at times it seems I do...
You walk in, steaming water running down your sides,
Like a different world, you stand there just thinking,
It's been a rough day, one worth reflecting on,
To be forgotten,
Becomes my greatest fear.
My tears keep falling to where they are gotten,
Seeking for anyone near.
A person may leave or stay,
To know the reason, if I may.
A person can always get hurt,
Only if they didn’t make the cut.
Sipping the flow of time
Inconsistency throughout the trail
The rigid ground propels you in a direction
One step decides the temporary outcome
A Year Alone
I chose to go
To somewhere that was quite unknown
Whole new ideas
I had never heard
Ways of thinking I thought were absurd
And all my thoughts?
Is it wrong that I hide,
My true feelings and thoughts inside?
I've never been one to tell my life
or the stories that are behind...
the person that I am today
I sit idly inside my mind
before the Train arrives.
I wander between my ears, behind my eyes -
wondering where I'm going.
I am lost in outer space.
Yet I maintain these chains;
I don't want to sound pathetic, but lately,
I haven't been able to focus, and I cannot blame anyone but myself.
My hands weigh me to the floor, the snapping of a will,
No one fights my demons
cuz angels don't exist
A scream without an echo
is an arm without a fist
Must we lose the ones we love
to see inside our hearts?
Aren't we all just souls with tear-away faces
When we don’t talk, I feel nostalgic and I want nothing more than to be around you. I long for you, why I’ll never know.
I’m running out of things to do as I lie awake and think,
To drink to ration out my thoughts no real time to blink.
My stupid mind just leads to paths that only end in sorrow ,
.
In a thought i had, a letter i was given to read.
.
Words i couldn't pronounce, Sentence i couldn't pick out.
.
Alittle effort i put to it,
.
Gramnatical errors i made,
Intro: I want to thank my Twin B for believing in my talent when I didn’t, love you…
Young J is a rapper he says
I write my own lyrics to these songs, please press reply
So I thought I knew everything…
Growing up taught me lessons I should know
A high school diploma was just nothing to show
Momma was proud when I walked with a degree, I’m sure
I’m the type to creep up on your mind at 3 in the morning
Leave you in wonder if you should hit my line or let me be
The impact I have on you leaves you wondering what it could be
If it would be
If it should be
My mind, much like our population, was overcrowded and
easily won over by the simplest romance.
~awatr
And when I look at you.
I see a thought.
The supreme conviction that in spite of ourselves.
We are the light that gives unselfishly to ourselves.
The pieces we constantly give to each other,
I plumped down sinking back first into the middle of the cushion.
Resting my arms behind my head.
Thoughts of spending the rest of my life here crossed my mind.
Now drifting off in thought.
thinking I could save her but I cant they say only one thing can g.o.d
Savor every moment
p.r.a.y sometimes all day
Never ask why take it for what it is
Just truth in our reality
I have all these feelings that im feeling.
all these thoughts going through my head.
yet so many things are left unsaid.
now im stuck with all theses voices in my head.
Waking up everyday seems just so hard
I am tired of this routine that got me off-guard
I have no social life, I am like broken glass shards
I been talking to myself, my only insanity ward
There's nothing more I'd like to do,
then snuggle in close and fall asleep with you..
[I] approach the tipping point
the straw that broke [my] back.
at a loss for words
expression has no expression, is not an expression
anymore.
the way [I] feel
when all the words - all the thoughts
do you think the three
a.m. sky became jealous
of us that night? do you
suppose that this is the
reason the constellations
drifted a little closer?
closer?
closer still?
Why is it that people are so afraid of change?
Do they actually find a sense of comfort in the prosaic and predictable?
How is that a way to live?
Is it even a way to live?
I often times have my head in the clouds.
Rather than thinking of what it should be, I think of what it could be.
My thoughts are often times too loud,
and often times too proud,
i don't really know what i'm doing here. really, i'm just trying to get by.
i don't think life has a purpose, but that doesn't matter.
my life has no direction, but somehow, i have a natural optimism. an optimism that is
My savior, my soul, the seeping safety in which I have solemnly become so secure in the arms of my loved one who portrays themself to me in song.
12 AM
No messages.
That’s been something recent.
Communication lessens.
Your phone is at sixteen percent.
12 AM
No messages.
That’s been something recent.
Communication lessens.
Your phone is at sixteen percent.
The silence in this house just heavy breathing coming from the ones who are asleep. I think over and over the things I’ve done and the things I plan to achieve. The hurt I caused and the hurt I received. Understanding why life is the way it is.
Simple life,
Simple dreams,
Complex strife,
Long life.
Push forward,
And get pulled back.
Pull back,
And get pushed forward.
Complex life,
Complex dreams,
The cool air slithers through your shirt.
The water soaks your face in vitality.
Your foot throbs with invisible hammers
The dark clouds shadow your happiest day.
These are just sensations.
Choose your fights wisely
Choose your fights kindly
Kindle a fire to see
Burn it out with peace
Shallow seas
Hollow trees
Death inside
Darkness hides
My mind was not quite right,
my thoughts would give me a fright,
grabbed me a journal,
made the thoughts external,
and now I'm feeling alright.
"Stay calm maybe tomorrow will be better,"
Maybe the girls won't make your life more of a living hell
Maybe they'll stop trying to make others hate you,
Stop them from being your friend.
I walk on a thin line. The one that leads to nothing. On either side, a place I am scared to be. I walk in hope of something to revive me.
"I feel like I don't really know much about you,"
Spoken by three friends I have known for over two hundred days.
Only a little over half a year is really no time at all though.
I'll be satisfied once I can see all my bones pressed against my skin.
Society taught me that you're only beautiful when you're paper thin.
They say that beauty is only skin deep
I remain uncuffed but still full of love for this boy
Not a man
Who won’t take my heart into his hands
And I’m not sure he deserves it
But I still have these Wife Thoughts
Thoughts
New Year’s with my family,
Save one member.
Valentine’s with my family,
Save one member.
Easter with my family,
Save one member.
Spring Break with my family,
Save one member.
It taught me to write
It taught me to read
It taught me to want
It taught me to need
It taught me to rhyme
It taught me to see
It taught me to help
It taught me to be
Bleeding onto pages
its heart has been pirced
An aversion to the spill
They say the felt feels
too loud to see
The crimson color
Makeing meanings unclear
Only blue or black
The emotions you feel seep into me.
The ideas you share sway me.
I hope that you see it impacts me greatly.
I am no longer just me.
The ideas you share sway me.
I now believe what you believe.
I purge my soul of things only I know.
It helps me see what can truly be,
Not just a dream of you and me.
When my fingers hit the keys
It lights a fire in me.
I set off on a rant
Of rhyme and chant
Friendship…
What is its meaning?
How does it last?
Will it be short-lived or never die?
So many questions to be answered,
But when will they be answered?
One question leads to another,
A thought comes to me
And I can't help but write it down
Lest it troubles my mind
Keeps it confined
To repetitive, uninterrupted, cycles
All in the hope of preserving thoughts
A perfect bond.
Conversations go on for hours with no effort
Two passionate hearts
Telling one another "we will make it"
Through love
Through faith
Through patience
Going for what you thought was perfect then regret what was left behind because you thought it was not worth it. Stuck in the middle and no turning back feeling lost, all actions have a cost, no money involved.
i’ve been trying to find love in a billion relationships
and i’ve tried everything i can to make myself feel something
and i’ve pushed my feelings so far behind walls
and i’ve pushed people away to get free
Dear Future Sadie,
I’m a big procrastinator
The world is filled with amazing sights to see and sounds to hear and people to meet,
Dear onlooking eyes,
We’re all thorns
One speculated look
Will prick another
One judgement can imprison another mind
Poison begins to seap
It could slowly take over
Walking down the street
Smiling at people that I’ll never meet
Perpetually conscious of the fact that I’m alone
But glad that I’m not at home
Hey there friend
Dear
empty white space on my paper
I wish I could fill your every crevice
with words that meant something to us
My soul holds words my mouth will never speak.
My mouth shares words my mind doesn't think.
My mind contains thoughts my heart will never seek.
My heart overflows with love that I am afraid to leak.
Dear pen,
We’ve been together for years
Changing with the seasons
And yet our character is still the same.
Across thousands of pages,
I write these thoughts to clear my mind from the piles of blunt ended metaphorical clutter that may, or may not have cadence.
Their long winded flow,
someday a boy will break your heart in two
consider this a forewarning to you
his eyes
brilliant baby blue
will consume you entirely
I think of all the hardships I’ve endured, and the streets I’ve crossed.
In the end, I still feel lost.
Is fate a thing?
I can't. I can't. I can't.
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.
Strangling me.
Suffocating me.
Clawing at my heart.
Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
Why can't you just see it?
You're insignificant.
Useless.
Unwanted.
Just a speck of dust that's a stupid little nuisance to everyone.
Dear teens,
What makes someone a bad person ?
Is it the things we say,
The things we post,
How we look,
Or the things we know,
My mind is an ever-evolving ball of guilt and shame
Every thought twists and turns, leaps and lunges, crosses and curves
Every time I catch one two others take its place
I’m only sixteen
Do you ever just lie there thinking?
You don't know why or what about sometimes
it's just a reflection of thoughts
about someone, your life, the atmosphere
To the person I have been:
You were a young girl who carried the weight
of the world on your shoulders.
You were a sea of consciousness,
It starts with a single one
but then comes the tornado.
And before I know it,
I'm suffocated by my thoughts.
There are snowballs in my head
that grow bigger every second
and trample me
there are snowballs in my head.
Drowing,
I am drowning
in an ocean
I myself created
Drowning
in tears of sadness
of anger
I blame
say you did this to me
all of you.
but no.
It was me.
it 12 am at night .
all think about is you.
i think of what you tell me.
from what food you like.
and whether you like ranch or blue cheese.
and why you prefer your dad over your mom.
What is happiness?
By: Madalyne Gonzalez
There are so many people who focus only on the negative
At moments, it gets kind of repetitive
When negativity is all that you see
I wish there was an off button for the things I think and feel.
A way to hide my broken pieces, and the scraps until they heal.
My head is constant chaos; I worry about all the wrong things.
I don’t know why I say the things I do.
Why I continue to put myself out there after all I’ve been through.
I guess I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic some would say..
I believe in true love and hope to find it one day.
I’m not saying I’m in love, that would be way too fast.
I’m just saying I have some feelings, I haven’t felt in the past.
A feeling of comfort that I don’t reach easily.
Stand on the Sands
Grayson Szumilas
Dear Humanity,
Momentum. I don’t know why the world is set up the way it is,
Why can't I just be a bird,
that reaches up to the sky looking down at all the views and always free to fly?
Why can't I just be the sun,
Oh it's you.
Hello again! I know, it's been so long, it's so nice to see you!
What do you think? I've barely been holding myself together.
Are you kidding, I've never been better! How's the wife?
Crickets chirping, light off suddenly she's in the dark.Heart pounding, mind racing, just her & her thoughts.Good & bad, the wish I could's, was it me? What did I do?
My brain is in a state that I can't even begin to explain
for everything is in black and white
and is moving backwards at three times its usual rate
causing every bit of what I do to never be in the right.
I can hear screaming,
no theory of where its coming from,
or where the sound is streaming.
What is this meaning?
Why is there a dismal sound
What you know about the silence of the lambs
I'm not talking about that cross dresser shit.
I mean the way people today choose to live,
cowardly, afraid to speak up. Think differently,
When I was young and small
I would sit and play
My parents fed me do's and donts
on what I could and couldnt say
Then I got a little bigger
but still easy to deceive
so my parents fed me dos and donts
It's not that, Cuyler, it's that
Being here with you is torture, but I push on
Even when you make fun of me
Causing my face to turn bright red
And I wish I could say something, but I can't
In the depths of the reflected light
You can catch a glimpse, a girls' shadow
It's a sight you can't overlook
With her eyes so hollow and haunted
Concealing within a ghastly narrative
I've stared at your fingertips on the strings of your favorite gutair,
I've observed your lips move in the void of the night,
making a melody I wish I could harmonize to,
(Intro)why we gotta take it there Babe, you know I ain't tryna go there.what happened to us.
Tuck in the shirt and tighten the belt, it'll help you look smaller.
Tighten the apron.
Eat breakfast because it should be the only big meal you have today.
I wonder if they think I'm beautiful?
You have consumed my thoughts.
How are you?
You have become a part of my daily routine.
Should I text him?
You drive me crazy.
Why hasn't he replied?
I think I am becoming depressed.
Do you ever feel like you don't belong
Because you're not in a group or a click
You lie in your bed at night feeling sick
In the lonely streets and busy highways,
I pass by wondering which way you wish to go
What pain you carry in your heart,
What story burdens your mind
And what lesson you are learning from
Ideas in her mind just hit her.
They pop up as they please.
She can't force them to appear,
but when they do,
they leave her in a stir.
It's like getting stuck on a train,
Several thoughts circle around my mind sometimes, yes, I'd be lying if I said I was fine.
These thoughts know my mind more than I know myself,
they have made a home between my nerves.
A peaceful place inside the chaos.
Everyone is a poet at heart, They come up with brilliant ideas Only to be shut down by a wired minded society. Your brilliance stands out among all of these plastic molded people Darling, Don't be discouraged YOU, Your ideas, Are what we need i
Deep inside is where it hides,
I tried and cried but on the outside im bright,
People don't seem to notice my painful tears
my broken heart and a worthless thoughts,
I tried loving you with everything I had
They say "home is where the heart is,"But is that really true?I mean-- where is "home?"It's here for one person,There for another. What is "home?"Is "home" a building,A group of people?Is it even tangible?Is "home" a certain atmosphere? What i
you are so beautiful. Sometimes you're the warmest thing on earth,other times you're the signal that sends An evanescent chilling sensation through my body. It still amazes me how people take you for granted.But then again before I grew I did tooN
Peace
my child,
peace within.
I skipped a rock
the ripples spin.
I seek the truth
I threw the stone,
but still I ponder
Where did it go?
Peace within.
Look at the lake
My mind is afloat with many ideas,
Thoughts are ignited inside the eye of things which cannot be erased.
Can this path of life lead to the place that I can call home,
Verse:
Mist, in my eyes
Ice, heart melts, freeze
Dive, into ocean spacious as skies
Lie, sea turned bed if dived too deep
Still profound, unexplored
Wonder, how change will give more
Life is morbid
like candles flame sizzling out from the cold wind at night
that can be lit time and time again
yet eventually it will meet it's end.
point is... when will I let mine die?
Most of us dwell on the "I remember", remember is probably the most if not painful bear of arm oneself has. It is the coffin in where your mind lies, drifts, and remains. Constant questioning slowly becomes desparity.
Picture
Always having that crunching feeling throughout my soul.
Keep on worrying what’s going on with me. I don’t feel whole.
Why am I always jumping towards the end?!
A song is stuck right in my head.
I can feel it.
The lyrics, there aren't very many,
are rotating around my frontal lobe
and up and down my corpus colossus.
i snap and snarl
when thoughts dark and vial
are found inside my head
so with my jaws
and help from the Lord
i shake them out of my head
when the thoughts grow back
Today I heard you were still aroundThat you were still in townThat you hadn't yet left for collegeand I don't know how I should feel about thatWe use to spend long nights laughing
The striking colors of sunset skin,
tears through the hearts of a burning country,
Calling women nasty,
and condeming those who do not love as he,
Start a fire burning brighter than the sun,
Nighthorse Chan
1/19/17
I look at the person I was a year ago.
Contemplating if I changed… I don’t know.
And that I realize
When I look into the eyes
Of the boy that evolved to a man who has grown.
8 years lived on earth,
Can't wait to be unearthed,
loosen the bonds tied tight;
stretch my wings, take flight.
Searching for the fast forward button on life, my plight.
All alone with my sorrowful thoughts
Constantly running through my head
Making each moment unbearable
The silence only makes them worse
Trying to think of other thoughts
But they are no match for the sorrow
Handwritten
They ask me my opinion
I raise my hand but regret my decision
I sit there and replay the question
but instead I pick up my pencil and write my recollection
intrusive
invasive
unwanted
these thoughts that won't let me be free
They say I'm hopeless
They at I'm hated
It seems like nothing can make them stop
They say I'm a failure
Bright light, lovely pale flesh,
reflecting blue as the moonlight catches movement,
as fingertips dance across flesh,
hot and humid breath catching at the back of your throat,
the story of my life
what kind of world do i want?
i just have to let go
I've just got this feeling
but i have died everyday waiting for it
He thought she was beautiful,
He saw light in her eyes,
But she thought all he told
Were nothing but lies.
Hello sister: i know you can see
the scars on my wrists
and the secrets hidden deep
Hello brother: i know you can see
how wounded i became
when you took your leave
Hello mother: i know you can see
Its amazing,
someone who was once a stranger,
Has become so much more.
An installation in my life.
A part of every conversation.
A bit of every thought, all the time, every day.
When do you become me?
Is it when she broke our heart?
Is it when we stayed up for hours with our new friends?
Life that is without direction,
Without thought.
People that lead without choice,
Without reflection.
Those who experience true feeling,
The silence surrounds,
Tick tock,
Tick tock,
I hear the delicate hands move,
Much like my own,
They drift in movement,
My breathing grows light,
I listen for silence,
A floorboard creaks,
Decisions shape and change the way we grow,
But are the decisions we make truly ours?
Perhaps we are controlled by something greater than us.
Perhaps a construct such as morality,
I don't quite know how to tell you,
tell you about what goes through my skull,
when your eyes light up like neon street lights,
in a city all too far away,
I don't know what to say,
My thoughts are killing me,
my dreams are haunting me.
My body is covered,
with hundreds of scars.
My eyes are liars,
and so is my mouth.
My body disgust me,
I'm repulsive to myself.
I hear piano down a hallway
Guitar downstairs
Singing in the streets
Maracas on a stage
Cello from a nearly soundproof room
My whole life is filled with music
But then the air deadens, falls silent--
I used to think I knew what love was,
and then a boy with honey brown eyes, and no tattoos walked into my life,
Halfway across the world he stay,
6,966 miles away,
My world is empty
my world is full
my world is dark
and harsh but not cruel
my world is old
my world is new
my world is mine only
wish i could show it to you
my world is fast
It didn't matter what I thought
to regret my decision
to change my choice
I chose my country
I chose my God
over you
I hurt you
I angered you
I considered you
trying to change me
I fall hard and I fall fast.
I scrape my knee on the concrete of the earth on a constant basis.
I cannot help the way I feel and the way I fall.
My thoughts twirl
like a daisy
spinning between the
two sticky palms of a
six year old girl
bowed by the wind and
scratched by the sand
burned by the sun
dropped to the ground
They are too loud.
They don't let me think.
The numbing noise doesn't come from voices.
But something much worse.
The deafening loudness is caused by my Thoughts.
A storm is coming
The school is quite
kids slam car doors
and ride off on bikes
with unbuckled helmets
fast
they hurry home
Wheels buzz
like bee's wings
Sittin on the toilet waitin wishin
My mind would stop this driftin
It goes so far it hits a point of no return and starts flippin
Excess is success
But it's also destruction
I'm trying to suction the
Thoughts out of my mind
That scream I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine
I'm not fine, and the reason why
Darkness
Darkness; continuous, deep, perpetual darkness.
Constant. Soulless. Empty dark space.
Isn't it funny how
The ones that have
Affection for you
Try to or
Say they enjoy
The same things as you -
Storms or
Pie or
Rock 'n' Roll -
And then say
They always liked
Heavy thoughts, they weigh me down. I know I'm not perfect, but I like how it sounds. I could never be the one you wanted me to be but trust me,that's something I'd never want to be.
Whenever I see a shooting star
I think of you
And whenever I sing
I think of you
And whenever I close my eyes
I think of you
The world keeps spinning
And I desperately try to feel
First time
I meet you
You meet me
And we become friends,
With no vested interest ,
We never knew each other before.
My fingers itch to write about your mind
To unravel your thoughts as you share them with me
I may not understand the scientific jargon that often slips from your lips
Being with you never felt wrong.
Its the one thing I did right-You're the one thing I did right
Now that you're gone nothing right
I find myself crying on the floor just thinking about what we were before.
My thoughts are poisonously hot
They rise to my mind
Building pressure
Leaving my chest tight and empty
No air
Others will try
To breathe back life into my veins
But it all rises back
Colors. Fears. Doubts.
Painting the canvas of reality
With obscure shadows,
Scavenging through heaps of
Meaninglessness
To catch a glimpse of
written 08/09/16
So much disappointment,
So much hate,
So much lies,
So many things that I'm afraid.
I seek to punish,
I seek to find pain,
I seek to feel alive,
You know, I never really thought
How we would be without creativity, blandness as
Far as the eye can see
A visual and mental drought
There would be no color
No music, no art,
It all started when I lost myself.
I wallowed in misery.
I had no self esteem.
I felt unloved, unworthy, and worst of all dead inside.
Like I was simply existing, without living at all.
Have you ever seen a Flower
A Single Blooms every Hour
But when comes the shower
They fight
Instead of soaring up like a kite
They became a revolting sight
Lowering themselves without delight
What is fear?
Is it the monster hiding in the closet?
Or is it the disembodied screams of the night?
Is it the like tremors of an earthquake?
The numbness is growing,
Or is it sadness instead,
That will plague me until death.
I feel so alone in this world
Where my darkness descends.
I feel forgotten by my memories
I feel like crying.
Yet this Ittle mind of mine wont obey my commands.
"Cry already!"
"Make me feel better!"
"Think of something funny!"
Pen. Paper.
Thoughts. Words. Feelings.
Unfinished trains of thought.
Wants. Needs. Desires. Plans.
All lie within the space between
My poetry and me.
Day is not for
drinking, drugging or dating.
Night is for
neglect, nicotine and nakedness.
Revel in the
rambunctousness, rabidness and release.
Wake in the morning with
The first time I caught a glimpse of your hair I couldn't stop watching
I couldn't stop staring
I followed
The wavy golden hair
The scent of innocence
The look of innocence
I saw this only within you hair
In my room. On my bed. Staring at the cream wall with the slight chip in the paint that reminded me of an incision given by a doctor with butter fingers.
That's where it began.
If only He made me a beautiful nymph,
Though I do not mean to question my existence,
But I do.
You know who I love,
What and who I want to love,
As who I am for that lover,
Part One:I am a destroyerDestroy herDestroy himDestroy them
Destroyer of worlds of multifarious dimensions.
What’s the use of lacrimating hallow tearsthat spill over past and future worries?Past and Future have gone astray,despite your dismayhave you forgotten? Past never was and future will never be,
Touch the paper with a pencil
Shouting thoughts come alive
My mind is leaking ideas
The words explode on paper
Eventually coming together
To create a world of mine
Thinking becomes out of control
i'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, this is what is on my mind(and this is parts I wrote a week ago)and I'm sorry that I wrote this poem on the car ride back to my house instead of paying attention to the road It's a beautiful night and my best
Look to your surroundings.
See the comparisons in store.
Who does the most things?
Who makes more?
Feeling ahead of the race,
Only to walk into a slamming door.
Why bother with the race?
Late nights
With music in my ears
And demons in my mind,
I feel water filling my lungs,
Weights sitting on my chest
And ropes around my throat.
My mind racing
Does anyone else feel like they are useless? Did anyone else think they could be better?
Does anyone else hate themsleves more than their enemies could hate you? Did anyone else think they were loved this whole time?
She took it away
Stole my life source
Confiscated my heart
And all that connects me inside
The wires and the lines
That helped me reach a place
A place where I could be happy
She with the lion's mane-
She with her head in the clouds
had always been one to suppress her thoughts
in hopes to just fade in the crowds.
As she grew, as she learned
I'm just soakingin itJust counting theminutesBlood stained water in the tubIt's hardly the time nowis itWhen you're breaking a
Love hurts they say
It cuts you deep to the core, I'm told
Remaining only is hurt and pain
Loneliness and emptiness creeps its way
It reminded her of the way she felt
The lonely clouds that is
A feeling to be dealt
Watching the endless raindrops collect
There is no dream without realityAnd no reality without a dream.Sometimes we dream a realityThen it is hard to realise It was just a dreamLet us be Honest and Never hide behind a Mask And enjoy our dreamsBut allways face reality.How Nice or bitter
her words struck me like lightning.
passion and strength erupted from her booming voice.
it was beautiful and terrifying all at once.
Success is key
In the golden sea that is opportunity.
But in this endless sea,
Would you ever help me find my sanity?
Can't you see?
You are the enemy.
May
What are you doing alone these days?
Sighing on windowsills and fogging the pane?
Do you sleep with watchful eye?
Faith?
Wht's that supposed to be?
Believing in the path she's on she thought
Even as all outside of me falls
It's maintaining my sight
Knowing what I believe I create in my life
You are not alone, but your mind makes you think that way.
What if you're actually alone,
Just not accepting of the fact?
Maybe. Maybe I am.
Dear God
I know this is alot to ask
I realize the universe you bear
Of the multitudes clamouring your name
Begging for the same solace I am about to beseech
Hanging, high, out of my reach
But dear God
It was in Creative Writing class that I first discovered my love-
a true and faithful love-for the wonderful world of poetry.
Before it was all just words to me. Words lined up like strange little
I am not hurting;
My curse was the chance of anyone finding out.
Finding out what I thought.
Scared that my own thoughts, that knocked louder than any fist,
would be heard.
YiN & yANg
You cannot Control what plays on T.V. channels
But you have a remote Control to change the channel.
Recalling the imprisonment from harsh shackles
Slowly it flows through my veins
Slowly it propels my desire
As the passion that laid dormant
Once again ignites
You won't go anywhere, they said
Mindless
A state of being without the mind
A state I hope to never find
For I cannot live without my mind
The only thing,
that I need in this world,
is me.
My mind,
my thoughts,
my feelings,
my knowledge.
Without it, I am not alive.
I couldn't reminisce about happy days,
It seems like lately my life is ruledby ine's and isms, Words more dangerous than drugsand I fall in line because Ithink in rhymes and speak in clicheseverything to say in this world has already been saidso what difference does it make to think or
Slight ting from crisping golden beams,
The mellow sway of palms rustles
There leaves chirping
Intrinsic in the forgotten hustle
The sounds left beyond the tides.
The oscillating sound
You tell me I'm complicatedBut you're the one to make it soLook at what you see up frontThat's all you need to know
Drip-drip, pitter-patterA steady pace to punctuate a thoughtTurns to a down-pour with a crack of thunderAnd a single thought becomes a roar
On the Island deserted there are many rocks, I’m sure
But none of them is this one.
This one isn’t from the Island.
This one I already had.
Cherished thoughts are words seldom spoken -
I love you.
I miss you.
I need you.
But that's my own business -
Surely I'll never tell.
What can't I live without?
Some may say a tiny little screen that acts as a suitcase for our lives
It makes me sad when people make fun of black girl’s curlsBecause that’s all I ever wanted.My hair is curly too, but not curly enough to be coolor flat enough to be normal or white people hair.
How do you think that way?
Not owning a thought in your head
Like a parrot, repeat what other’s said
Believing in lies
Worried if you don’t, the spotlight dies
My body rejects the writing because writing is like an I.V. in my veins. It clears the venom out of my body and dries up the river of words in my mind. I do not want to be a skeleton
Time the ever cnstatn constant
But
Time seams to always be influx.
If you are enjoying something it flies past
Pulling the joy with it into the past
If you are in pain it frags its feet
What is it to need something?
Some people describe it as what you need to be happy.
Others so that your heart keeps drumming.
I, however, describe it as intangible.
What I need may also be what I want
Stranded out at sea
I have but one...
One important question.
What accompanies me?
Who accompanies me?
I must make my choice.
This decision may make or break me.
Insomnia seems to grace me
With his presence each night.
Loneliness often deafens me
With the words he left unspoken.
Anxiety holds me hostage,
Invoking memories I want to forget.
Yeah, I'm cryin' in bedwithout a line in my head, I'm deadbut you don't hear me cryin' or lying when i'm dying with dreadthis life burning instead while I reach ahead
If I am not beautiful,
Will you care to see
What lies far inside of me?
If my skin is not tan,
Will you care for my mind?
Speak up young student!
Are you creatively blind?
Tears that awakened him at night already evaporated.
Filled with words that aggressively stroked his nerves.
We cant forgive how lonely he gets.
We cant forgive his thoughts of destruction he starts to mimic.
This feeling sining into my chest
It feels as though someone has cut me open and poured in hardening cement
I don't even know what is running through my brain
I suppose now, I have really gone insane
Memories can be good and badRemembering can be the worst partThe good memories, you'd want them to lastThe bad ones, you want to leave in the past They might even hurt you so you keep them a secretAs for the bad memories, you don't think you
Kissing. Twisting. Turning. Melting. Loving.
Thank you for reminding me who I am. Thank you for reminding me that Julie Andrews was right; now I will always have confidence that happiness will come again.
His eyes are full of warmth.
Mine are nothing but stone.
He pulls me into his chest and his lips graze mine.
I feel his heart racing and I know the words are on the tip of his tongue.
He says it.
"Final thoughts" With the my hours reaching their lastI prepare to end this life with a blastNot a blast in which refers toA joyous afternoon in the park with my familyMore in reference towardsTaking a 9mm straight to my cranium an
i watch you talk.
do my eyes have a mind of their own?
eyes twinkling, unreal stars.
how are they doing that?
you throw your head back and laugh.
Are you searching for meaning friend?
Are you coming to your bleeding end?
Do your wrists speak your bleeding mind,
telling you your purpose is hard to find?
My mind is blank,
My thoughts won't grow.
I'm a bit tired,
But I thought you should know
The way I feel when I'm with you.
But how do I feel?
I have no clue.
To say I think of him often
is a lie.
zyo say thoughts of him run through my head
over and over and over
is misleading.
The truth is,
he never really leaves
my mind.
I fell in love at a very young age
It was a magical experience
A beautiful romance
With many enticing words
I fought alongside the bravest kings and warriors
I slayed the toughest beasts
I will not speak
the words I think.
This is the key,
to the necessity of sanity.
The thought of you makes me smile,
Listening to a song or seeing a couple holding hands and wondering why you can’t be with me.
I want your touch in the most innocent way;
She's not sure which matters
So as voices of conciousness and wisdom enter
They only glide across her ears
inquire at the door of logic's acceptance
and are silently lead through the corridor
Somewhere between the changing color of porcelain white skin, to cherry red flesh
My mind wanders
I wonder if it’s that hotter water that hurts so good
My bones are led
Weighing me down
Onto this bed
That isn’t swallowing me
Fast enough
And in my head
Too many things
Too many thoughts
Are pouring in
Desperate to be heard
To scream, I could only wish
my mouth, forever silenced
by duct tape and lead,
remains a barrier
between myself and the world
between my heart and my head.
Cutting is art.
Sometimes,
you plan out what you want to see
Sometimes,
it come out of nowhere.
It’s always fun when something totally consumes you.
When your mind goes blank and feeling lost becomes fun.
How can one word define infinite possibility.
How can one sentence define a future. If it were up to me
I would write a book.
A feature length film.
A memoir on the lives of each of us.
I don't like your parties
I don't like your alcohol
But I guess I'd rather be here than not at all.
I don't like her
I don't like the way she stares
Cause I don't think I can compare.
Is this what you think I am? Strong? Can you not see past the fakeness of my smile? It is a fake lie. It is easy to see through. It isnt my fault I feel this way. You think it is? Walk at least one day with my mindset on life right now.
To love and peace in a world of blood and ruin
To a new life in a world of no opportunity
To truth among the hypocrisy
Don't let your guard down...
Everyone is coming, hitting me left and right
Fists of emotional fury, is there a way out?
How did i come in?
There might be a key... but what do i have to pay to get it?
How can you save someone that is mentally drowning?
Drowning in a sea of anger
hatred for themselves
Someone that is mentally abusing themselves
How can you save someone from cutting?
Your hands run through my hair
Your piercing eyes searching mine
For what, I do not know
Nor do I know what you will find.
Maybe you see the way I adore you
My thoughts always wandering back to you
Chatter.
Surrounded by people,
yet I sit alone.
Afraid to come undone
Nobody will know how hurt I am
If I don’t talk to them.
To put on a mask
I mustn’t let them know:
My thoughts are sinful.
I am sinful.
Yes I believe in god.
Does sin really have that much of a connection with god?
Brown eyes,
Black hair.
Heart-shape lip,
Unnerving stare.
A young woman looks back at the mirror, confused.
The long waves of her hair are cut to her shoulders,
Her eyes empty and lost.
From week to week and day to day
I’m one who never knows quite what to say.
When typing a paper or composing a text
It’s not hard; I know just what is next,
But when I’m surrounded by enemies and friends
I'm probably want to be engulfed entirely
By the darkness and lose all means of light that surround me.
Maybe I was already swallowed by the dark and just choose to live in the light.
No, I don’t know
I don’t know if I did “good” on the test.
I don’t know if the teacher liked my essay.
I don’t know what my grades are.
I don’t know why I’m sad all the time.
I bought a nice new pair of cotton sheets this week to replace my old pilled polyester sheets.
Listen to the sound
Of the whisper of angels
As they sing the angels song
Happy are they
On wings of love they fly
Spread upon the sky
With colors of array
They do sway
My arms are long,
My hair is wooly, no
I am not worried because,
Who will ever see?
You know my back is strong and,
Just as sturdy as it can be.. after
My pen falls short, lacking in gage
Needingly etching and sketching away at the page
My heart fulfilled in paper and ink
Never speaking, only writing what I think
Power in words, thought and ideas
So, your eyes are brighter than the moon
And your smile causes my hands to shake.
So, you're a vast ocean,
A special treasure,
Hidden in a tidal wave of
So- you're beautiful,
and your skin shines like
Power On.
Channel One: A little girl plays outside, kickball, with her neighbors.
They laugh and run.
The sky starts to get dark,
Curfew.
She wants to finish the round; it’s her turn to kick.
if a mirror
was placed
before you
and you cast
your gaze
upon it,
what would you see?
if the reflection that comes back
is not yourself,
He put a razor inside my lunch pale
Along with heads or tails
I know he's hinting death
As I hide behind my veil
Need a pair of clippers
To cut my cutthroat nails
And I red pair of scissors
A strange affinity to male teachers
One would suppose her sick
No, not sick..
Maybe she liked the attention
Of course such a surface observation was not correct
She was a recovering addict
Plank the desk says..
Well he says nothing
Cause I’m looking at him and covering his face the whole time
Papers, a notebook, and pencils lay over wooden lips
In a cubicle called class
Me, myself anda piece of paperdecided to take onthe world.And so I wrote upon itsent it forthlet it fly freeout my window.I heard talk of it a year later
I will be forgotten. In not too many years (compared to how old the universe is) I'll probably be dust. I wont have anyone to hold because I'll literally be compost. Me, I will be compost.
An inspiration of words, whispered one last time; for a crowd of mouths to listen.
An inspiration of sound, screamed with passed-on passion; for one to know, and many to hear.
In the still of the night I cannot see,
Low as the moon appears to be sinking
Over the tall pine trees and the mountains clear.
Vacantly my poor mind avoids thinking,
I'm pondering about life
Contemplating about the future
What's wrong or what's right?
Am I significant or am I useless?
My conscience tells me the truth
Society is riddled with lies
I wonder when it will be easier
to place the letters together.
To form the letters into words,
and the words into sentences,
I’m a big fan of stars. Stars have the ability to make you wonder and make you think. A million thoughts cross your mind when you’re looking at the sky, as if there was a different thought for every star.
drop the pen that doesnt write
kill the sun that doesnt shine
eat the melted chocolate cone
No additions, no subtractions, I am an ordinary woman
Simply less gorgeous than what my pictures look like
I am a woman with flaws
With acne, small eyes, and facial hair
Nothing too special about my body
Through the glass I look
Searching for some answer
Faces slanted into an opaque distortion
Everywhere I gaze
Welcome to my thoughts where you get mugged in broad day light, robbed of your sanity until you gasp for air. Imaginations runs wild and my obsession with fantasy becomes rather obvious.
I think
But nothing happens
I tell myself to think
But nothing happens
I look around
At the voiceless sound
I try to think
But I can not
We can't think
I can't think
Around me four
[Walls]
Surrounded by four
[Walls]
If they could speak
What would they say?
It started with a book
All good things start with a book
I read the story that changed
my way of thinking
The way we are sheilded
In this "accepting" society.
It feels like I'm blind and cant see, like I'm stranded in the middle of the sea, like I'm submerged under water and can't breathe, like my sarrows are an obvious fact that no one will believe.
If you know me by my presence,
You know me by my appearance.
If you know me by appearance,
You probably don't know about my absence.
If you know me by my absence,
You don't know my reason.
Truth be told, I only saw what is real
Because my heart is an open sore that I do not expect to heal.
You see, a beaten and battered heart knows how pain feels
So it lacks all remorse when it comes time to kill.
I feel like
I always need to prove. impress.
Which makes me feel consumed with stress.
Everyday its school. Then rest.
When can I break loose. and test
Boundaries. limits ment for me to break.
I never let my mind be idle...
Ebbs and tides play across...
I let lyre chant melodies...
Song birds haunt...
White lilies flutter...
Children prance...
Adults labour...
The rich accumulate...
Some people told me hell no..
Others said don't go down that road.
Many got tired of me,
And told me leave them alone
And a few said wait until I'm ready.
My forehead is a little too tall
My nose is a little too there
My face is round and my hair just does this thing
I don't really care that insert celebrity name here is dating
Think not of it as a whirlpool in an empty tub of ice,
Think of it as a riptide of rocks in a field of grass.
People always leave me
Eventually everyone gets tired of the girl who is depressed for no reason
I do
And if I'm not cutting
I'm not eating
And if not that
That camera that you hold
Will not capture my state of mind
Beyond a flash, my thoughts last
And adapt to the times
I suppose we all know one day we'll die
to some of us that might sound like a sweet relief
For others it may be a biggest fear.
For some, Life has been hell
For others much better
I am a series of syllables,
Thrown together with whimsy and chance.
I am a sea of endless thoughts with waves so large they threaten to pull me under and drown me.
(9:27 am) Some people don't want to think?
(10:04 am) Every moment is a fresh start.
(5:52 pm) Home is anywhere you make it.
(10:37 pm) You have to open up to others if you want them to open up to you.
You crave the adrenaline
The pain
The feeling in which you cannot describe
You sabotoge your life
You push people away
You hurt to feel
Anything
That makes you feel alive
We're space-candy mannequins,
just suckers for human sin.
Count to three, it's a jawbreaker world;
only sweet until it's gone
and you're left with that ache in the maw.
I'm a space-candy mannequin,
It's funny how when it came down to it
Everything you did made you seem like a hero
Like you could change the world with your words
Like you could fix a cold with your hugs
In darkeness, there is light.
In the rain, there is sun shine.
So even while I'm unable to grasp the pai, my mind is at ease.
For even through death is life.
I have this consistent habit,
This overwhelming-
Not desire,
But force that pushes-
Not pulls.
Dragging me into overthought.
Overthinking is the death for me-
The thing that will drag me down.
I fall asleep with wandering dreams
The colors are so vivid; I’m bursting at the seams
I’m walking on endless thoughts
Thoughts of nothing
In times of despair
I see you strutting
Like you don't see me here
I wished to fly like a choir on high
To live like a new being awoken
To be sheet thin and soar the sky
I'm breathing in
And I'm already addicted again
Your love is a drug
I inhaled
But now I'm breathing,
Hard off of your love
People notice the past me again
There are people who fall asleep at night without a care in the world, and then their are those who want to just be gone, no longer exist.
The curtains open.
The audience is silent.
My heart aches.
But the show must go on.
Fake a smile.
To hide my sadden frown.
Fake a laugh.
To conceal the tears I'm actually choking on.
...
Every Child has a wish.A tiny and small fragile wish.A wish that soon turns to a lie.In which the lie soon turns to a 'deed'Making it into a Secret.
Sssshh...
Aren't I your favorite doll?The one you love and cuddle?The one whom you tell all your secrets too?The one...who sits in that corner and waits?
You wonder if it's all in your head.
Why can't you run awayor cry for help?
Once again, you are driven against the cold cement.
You become paralyzed.
Unable to move
Thinking Thinking
Always thinking
The thoughts I sometimes
don't even
understand
They change the way that you are
to fix your ideas
into neat little boxes
For control
For they
Rolling out of bed
Thoughts clouding my head
Wishing I could take back the things that i've said
Don't remind me of the cold stares, At times I cant regonize the person in the mirror
Rolling out of bed
Thoughts clouding my head
Wishing I could take back the things that i've said
Don't remind me of the cold stares, At times I cant regonize the person in the mirror
For once in my life the storm around me matches the storm raging in my soul.
For once in my life the puzzle pieces fit perfectly.
I am everything and everything is me
I am what you make me
but also who I decide to be
I am life and life is me
A small part of this world who dreams big
But within me lies the universe
Who am I? That's a loaded question.
We are all dense individuals, filled like an overflowing dam with ideas, experiences and contexts.
It was a drowsy battle that yearned for sleep.
The light and the darkness.
And I found myself in it.
Instigating and terminating its intentions of cruelty.
But what if I mistaked its cruelty for consideration?
It seems like
I never know what I'm thinking
thoughts are fleeting
meeting and unweaving
as they are leaving
I wave them goodbye
Let your mind
Bloom like a flower
In spring.
May your thoughts
Grow fertile
In soil of encouragement.
Create a field of plenty
Waiting to be harvest
I'm in a world of pain
My best friend and my... ah!
I can't stand this vain
"Are you okay" Well yeah
My heart just snapped
And my friend is a dick
While I just rapped
Up my rage until I pick
Who is the girl behind the camera you might inquire
I am not even so sure myself as to who I am
I might be someone else,
or something else,
The flash-
The filter-
It's how I hide.
The picture that everyone sees isn't me though
It's just a reflection of this person
That yes looks practically like me
Fly away, fly away my pretty little bird
Why won't you fly away?
Your wings are torn, batered, and broke, why won't you fly away, way
Why wont you fly away?
Abandonment... Insecurity
Self-doubt
Has paved roads
Created an army
Constructed a masterpiece.
Instead of trapping
Caging
My conscience
It's built and mustered forth courage
"Fireworks" you murmured
That summer afternoon
Wrapped in your arms on the couch
A kiss that ended so soon
It was my first with you
Beforehand didn't matter
Thinking, thinking, what am I thinking?I can feel my eyelids close as I continue blinking.
What's in the shadows?What's in the dark?What's tucked away,in infinite thoughts?What is unspoken?What is away?In the mind ofa person,what don't they say?
Ocean tides and human emotions are so alike;
Like how someone's heart changes over day and night;
When the sky is clear and the sun is out
Your eyes are bright and bluer than blue.
And when the sky is dark and grey
So are your eyes
And so is your mood
And that's just how it is with you.
You walk into an empty room.
As empty as the body inside it.
All that remains in the room is
Air... Space... Time... Walls.
The walls stay there, completely still
But they surround you
Here I am again
My filter is gone and I am here to write
There is nothing I could write that has not been written already,
Unfortunately I must be satisfied with wording and rewording the unoriginal.
This world is a neverending puzzleI have yet to solve;Tossed around haphazardly,There's no chance to evolve.
Written by: Juwuan Dennis
We the people.
Land we people live on.
Live on and let live.
To waste time is throwing away a clock.
Because the tic won't toc.
Cure Unfindable by even a doc.
Sometimes there comes upon me
The desire to spill words from my lips
An aching and a sad debating for myself
To be heard.
I want you to know that I try my very best
To use "Proper grammar,
A mind that works in essays
Ridden with typos
and words ommitted accidentally
But as time goes on
You assumed that it was always me me.
You assumed that it was my fault
You assumed that I was shellfish.
A true emptinessis a forsaken goodbye.A missing pieceshields the truth.The only clarityhovers the unknown.The ultimate lightnessis existence.
My beautiful little girl,
From the moment I knew you were,
I couldn’t think straight anymore.
To know that my soul had found
I’d change the homophobia, the fear and the hate,
The suppression of expression we face each day,
The way they look at us as though we’re not quite right,
Let me straddle your mind
Let me lay on top of your thoughts
Rubbing & caressing each care away
Interrupting them with each touch & feel
I can open you up, to love, lifting you up
Giving you a high
Feel the vibe flowing through my veins
Opening a never-ending wealth of spiritual domain
So mentally taxing I can't help but wonder what will remain
These thoughts are evergreenThe flesh is never leanMy pen is dripping blueThe search is always new
Anger is…
Danger
It’s a cruel thing that hurts
Rather than help
It causes wars
It causes sores
It causes people to act out violently
When they should be acting passively
Curse words, punches,
There are times I scream out to the stars,
Thinking of you and all these times, so hard.
Indeed imagination is inundated inside interminable ideas,
Pouring purposes, poetry-pondering pages pertaining panegyric phrases,
Entrapped, effortlessly entombed - ears eternally earning effrontery.
Your writhen thoughts had unexplainable august about them,
I wonder from what this could stem?
They have remarkable semblance to knotted fingers,
The way each twines into my mind and lingers,
Drawing me in,
That's a start - in the room of my heart.
My thoughts do not contain certitude,
For there stands before me a physical facsimile
Of you.
Except lacking your attitude.
Your timorous tone,
You threw,
AND ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS ARE YOU OKAY OR DO YOU MERELY SAY YOU ARE TO AVOID WEIRD GLANCES AND LONG AWKWARD TALKS ABOUT FEELINGS THAT DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING EXCEPT ENSURE THAT YOU WILL NEVER TALK TO ANYONE AGAIN ARE YOU OKAY OR DO Y
THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME HOW TO KISS MY OWN WOUNDS EVEN THOUGH I STILL SOMETIMES PRETEND THAT IT IS YOUR LIPS AND YOUR HANDS AND YOUR WORDS AND YOUR LOVE BUT I AM THE ONLY PERSON THAT IS WILLING TO MAKE ME BETTER RIGHT NOW AND I A
I NEED RESCUING OVER AND OVER AND AGAIN AND AGAIN BECAUSE I CANNOT REACH ALL THE WAY DOWN MY THROAT AND PULL THE WEED OUT ROOTS AND ALL SO IT GROWS BACK AN INFINITE NUMBER OF TIMES UNTIL I AM CRYING AND IT IS SLOWLY KILLING ME AND
WHAT I DONT UNDERSTAND IS WHY IS LOVE SO READILY AVAILABLE TO SOME PEOPLE BUT SO HARD FOR ME TO ACCESS WHY IS IT SO EASY FOR ME TO LOVE OTHER PEOPLE BUT HARDER THAN HELL TO LOVE MYSELF AND WHY IS IT OKAY THAT I CAN SO COMPLETELY IN
PINK LIPS AND A TONGUE MADE OF FIRE AND CRACKED TEETH LIKE AN OLD PORCELAIN SINK THIS IS WHY I CAN'T GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD THIS IS WHY I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOUR BLOOD FLOWING THROUGH MY VEINS BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I TRY TO CUT IT OU
BECAUSE YOU AND I ARE LIKE ASHES FALLING INTO THE BATHTUB WATER OFF OF THE END OF YOUR LIT CIGARETTE AND I AM SO SAFE AND YOU ARE SO DANGEROUS AND WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER YOU TRIP LIGHTLY FROM THE FLAMES AROUND YOU AND FIZZLE OUT IN M
I am hardwired to feel every emotion so deeply that I have to rip holes in my skin to let them out and I am not human enough to be considered alive on the other side of it all
IT IS ELEVEN FIFTY EIGHT ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT AND I AM LYING IN A HOTEL BED WITH YOUR NAME ON MY WRIST STARING AT THE CEILING AND IM TRYING SO FUCKING HARD NOT TO CRY BUT HOLY SHIT I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU LIKE HELL AND I D
Sometimes we find that our lungs collapse,
our minds wrap around the idea of relapse.
We fall to the ground and gasp for air,
why, oh God, is this life not fair?
With hands on our hearts and a knot in our chest,
"Listen?"
[I can never quite tell you
What it is I want to say
When you speak over me,
Air passing through my lips
You tell me I'm unique and they say I'm a freak.
Excuse me, sir; but who gave any of you permission to speak?
Moving slightly to the left
And then slightly toward the right.
Putting all my effort on the table
And dancing away the night.
Giving all I’ve got to give
And trying not to see what’s in sight.
I have a million sentences
Brewing
Swirling in my minds teapot
Spinning in circles,
Steeping
Waiting to be poured
Out
Into your cup,
Sleeplessness encapsulates my thoughts
Riddles holes into confident
Tarps
Roofing
Windbreakers
Breaking wind all over my
Overjoyed
Overstimulated
Deep darkness held onto the fragile
heart
she carried within her chest-
unspent tears in her eyes
a mind that would never stop
but a brain that had died.
The slow beating of a broken soul
sometimes I'm grateful
that nobody is here
to see me
type my soul
hoping at the same time that
somebody
nobody
will see it
I worry that it's strange to say
Who am I?
Who do you think I am?
Who do I want to be?
Who was I in the past?
sometimes it's hard to tell the difference
a hodgepodge
of memories
that sometimes i can't tell
Why am I so hung up on a stupid message
It's nothing
I'm nothing
At least to him...
But what if we did
Look each other in the eyes
Remember each other at night
Up and down and up, up, upRunning around until I'm shut upScreaming and fightingThere is no endUntil I'm shipped awayThat's when the anger blew away
These are shadow times
We stand on wobbly knees
The cracking in our voices
This the beginning of the end
We are lost without the cause
This is our long-awaited redemption
Mr. Clock, why are you so mean?
Every time I'm havin fun time flees,
Yet every time I am unhappy you won't leave.
Mr. Clock, your hands are evil,
They control me in every way.
Lying awake while nosie in the background fills the space in my mind, putting off the feelings I've felt on the surface to bring the dark ones to light I'm scaring myself tonight
My funeral was empty, my gravestone was bare
The flowers that were meant for my mourning, were never there
Out in the city
where th people throng,
lay the spirit of nation,
out in the hearts of those who protest
lay justice,
fervently,restlessy,endlessy
demanding from us and for us
Sometimes, the hardest part about being heard
Isn’t being heard
It’s getting the word
From your thoughts
To your mouth
And from your mouth
To the outside world
It all starts with a dot
Who do I want to be?
A very complicated question.
First, I suppose,I want to be a girl that's not lost in her own sea
One that isn't conflicted with self repression
I want to be one filled with laughter
It is wet and rancorous
and my new leather shoes would feel the worst of it long before I got to class.
I stopped, before exiting, to appreciate the mighty storm – and open my umbrella.
The future is a monster is a monster in my head,
I can lose focus of the curriculum that I once though was a load of shipped work.
The future is the demon that provokes my stress.
All I wanted was to feel wanted.
I thought you felt the same way, but the feeling wasn't mutual.
If anything, it probably never was.
Out of it all, I was probably a piece of ass.
Day in and day out
Your name pops into my head
Memories of your touch, smell, and taste
Haunt me at night
Wishing and hoping you'd come back
That you's realize that I still love you
Fragments of memories come back in flashbacks as I lay in bed at night.
Pictures of happiness and hurt.
Joy and pain.
Love and loss.
The good and the bad.
I've grown up around strong women. To be specific, I've been surrounded by strong black women.
That doesnt make me strong though
This made it hard for me to find myself. I wanted to be like them
Don't let go of me
I'm like a canoe in this raging sea
I'm trying to make it in this world
But I just keep on getting hurled
No one seems to understand
They make me feel so bland
Things I want my daughter to know
- feel comfortable and confident going a day without makeup. A day when you have errands to run or have to stop into work for a bit.
The tiny tears slide down her face
Alone and hopelessly
Searching for a single trace
Of whom she used to be
Carefree, innocent girl
Untouched by the evil unseen
Now corrupted by the world
You’re looking out your window tonight
So many things running through your mind
You feel like you’ve lost who you are
You want to find your way back to the start
But you can’t, oh no, you can’t
Am I not good enough for them?Is who I am not who they want me to be?They want me to be this plastic, perfect figure that I don’t seeAnd they need to know, they need to know
I’ve seen apart of me I didn’t recognize.
Through my eyes I saw how my reactions to your actions, made me low, low point on the scale,
I’ve inhale, what you’ve exhaled to me.
A great tree with massive boughs,
Sends its roots to the center of the earth.
It does not move or sprint about,
But dreams of things in silence with mirth.
A great tree with sturdy ancient trunk,
sitting in the broken land. surrounded by dead memories of lost friends.
family and friends are all dead,
the ties to my history have no thread.
i lay motionless,
cry towards beauty and sonnetts to the grave,
In this torturous classroom
I sit in row 5, seat 3
and to my right in row 4, seat 3
sits the most beautiful boy I've ever laid eyes on.
Every time we make eye contact
I feel a rush of warmth
I had a secret that I did tell
I told the pen, it kept it well,
But then I told it to mankind
And my condemnation I had signed.
On a page the words will stay
Small and silent they obey,
This body is not an apology
This blacked out mirror
This blacked out skin
This skin like shadows
This shadow makes noise
This "bitch don't make noise"
I feel like I am drowning,
like I am suffercating under the
silence,
under the last breath I breathe
Are we a free people, a free country, with a truthful servicing of liberty and justice for all?
every night I rest my head,I rest it sometimes on a bed,my head is resting but my mind is racing,my mind is going so fast I feel like pacing,I have so much to think about,
Life, too often, is rushed.
No time to waste, no time to relax
No time to even say good morning
" Tick-Tock " says the clock!
Everyone's gotta be somewhere
Rush, rush, rush
Rush to school
The fact that evil is stronger than good
is evil itself.
Why must good be weaker than evil?
Why must death me faster than creating life?
Why must bullies be stronger than nerds?
It seems these days the only way to be considered for anything is to be a battered, broken, shell of a person. The scholarships, the colleges, they want survivors They want the best storyBut what about me?
In 2023, a ship called Mars One
will depart from the surface of the earth
and never return.
It will fly forty million miles to a place
where human kind has never set its heavy foot.
Does it matter that I come from a poor family, or that I am bi-racial?
Does it matter that I went to private school, on tuition assistance?
Beating down bright upon me—oppressively, oh, the brute Insouciance all-encompassing within and around
My mind filled with so many thoughts
Heart filled with hurt that won’t stop
So young but forced to grow so fast
No time to be a kid or dwell on the past
Within an instant my life began to crumble
You’re not my friend
You’re a frenemy
You used my shoes
My towels
My clothes
My Dial
I thought you were true
You only hang around cause
I want to die.
For this feeling I can no longer bare.
The rage within my soul has consumed my whole being.
The terror and horror of hell has revived and rejuvenated in my soul.
She called upon me to aid her,
to stop the crying. Her crying
is a marathon runner who can never reach the finish line.
I’m no savior, but I’m the only one
left to care.
I am lucky.
There are things
that are mine
that others don't have.
Healthcare.
Family.
Home.
Dreams.
Car.
Education.
Freedom.
Future.
You function, I function,
Robots to the requirements of the world, we are.
Expectations as well as realizations.
We break, our mind reaches far.
That unexpected change in fate
Midnight coffee, stay awake.
My heart aches and breaks
as you walk away
Reaching out my hand
in hopes that you'll hold it once more
Just because we sit alone doesn't mean we're sad.
Just because we dont talk doesn't mean we're mad.
Just because we dress wrong and not accordingly,
See, we choose to resist conformity.
My skin burns where your hands once were like acid on light flesh.
I've taken four showers today to try to wash away the pain but your handprint stays on my porcelain skin.
yeah, yeah
Life once felt simple and complete
but now grown up nothing feels the same
I always feel frustrated and angry
life was never ment to be this way
your mind is a garden,blooming with rosy memoriesand wisdom whispered by wise men.tend it with gentle confidence,water it with pure self love.
Don't forget about what I did for you
all the crap I put up with to make you happy
all the tears I cried when you hurt me
all the memories we created for all the world to see
It takes time to make a mind impervious to cold and kind. Not one to fail because I never try, knowing all too well it takes time to die.
Listen as I grow old the Gov's mask slips and expose a past.
I learned so many things that concerns me.
In all honesty this world is breaking apart.
My poetry is picking up the debris.
I walked with my head down
Noticing every crack in the ground
In order to keep from falling.
I walked like that for years
Until the day I looked to hard at the ground
And ran right into you.
Prisoner of Words Unsaid
For so long
For so long I've been a prisoner
A life sentenced prisoner for a crime they committed for me
Like Alicia Keys "I'm a prisoner of words unsaid
When the people who gave you life are also what makes you consider taking it,
There is a problem.
Every single night I brush my teeth in an attempt to wash away the sound of you
Slamming the door as you leave.
From his majestic Office, he reads the anonymous letter...
"There's alot of speculations going round
About a tightrope walker balancing without a song.
He shifts his weight from side to side
Wasted freedom
adjourned by the
linguistically-challenged
society.
A wreckage in my brain
driving me to the point
of insanity,
manicuring each
segment to be
What makes my brain tick?
It happens when my thoughts just click.
Through my eyes, I can see
A great big world in front of me.
My mind helps me make the right choice
To help me find my own voice.
When you realize that nothing you do
matters to you,
take a step back
and do something that does.
When you see someone struggling,
respect them for their effort
and thank the earth
Usually things pop up in my mind
But suddenly they disappear through time
I always think I know what I want
But sometime I don't
I'm young, confused, and alone
What do you expect coming from a youngan
As I sit here looking at the moon
I wonder if you are too
And for a second I consider
Are you thinking of me
As I am you?
Isn't it strange
how a place
a person
or a belief
can become
so foreign
or distant
that you start
to question
if it ever existed
as you thought
in the first place?
As the night settles, it begins.
Slyly, creeping deeper into my psyche
Darkening, the rims of my thoughts.
Slowly, swallowing my heart in captivity.
As the shadows crawl,
the creaking floor boards
I was born and you were four you looked to me as an enemy Never saw the blood we shared since we came from two of the same
My soul bleeds onto the paper with each word released from the pen in my hand.
In a dark room. An empty room. Only me and the voice inside my head—or is it the voice inside my heart?
Trust me, you don’t want to know
The thought that just flew through my head
A game of quid pro quo with the status quo
This cache of nostalgia makes my dread drop dead
I keep craving for resolution
There is a countless number of thoughts in my head
Some I share and others I hide away instead
I have thoughts about love
I have thoughts about hate
I have always been the one left out.
I would speak, but i was never heard.
I would stand up, but get slammed down.
With all the unheard words and the put downs.
All I can see is long sleeves,
lipstick stains and makeup masks
hiding marked skin, chapped lips,
They call me a gift
That when I was born i saved their life
That Nikolas has left
6 months after the tragedy
That I was born with a responsibility
That I should be a light
Here I am now,
The girl lies on a cot --
The girl with hauntingly beautiful green eyes.
With nothing but a battered baby blanket to cover her emaciated body.
Her feet peek out from beneath the sheet, bloody and broken,
You can find me
where the
dust sparkles
in the window
from the sun's rays
You can find me-
there
I'll be hiding
beside the curtain
blending into the wall
When I’m lonely in a world of my own, I often think of you. I imagine the way you hair never fell into the right place and how that was my absolute favorite thing about you.
Why is it that mankind can never truly find happiness?
It can be grasped for brief moments in time before it disappears once
I say I’m a writer, but how would they know
When each line and verse I’ll never show?
Each word loops endlessly through my head
a catchy tune, not sung but said
Still, the words can’t leave my mouth
"Roses for sale!"
He said with a smile,
But scoffs were only paid.
"For your sister?
Your brother?
Your mother,
Your lover?"
But love, nowadays,
Isn't shown in this way.
Why am I nor happy?
I have such a big porch for me alone.
I have the life that no one else owns.
I have gold that no other holds.
Why am I not happy?
I have all I want,
But something stands.
How can we forget,
the endless times we cried because we were full of regret,
We never meant to say the things we said,
it was in the moment and we needed to clear our head,
intentially no,
You didn't vote for him? You're discriminating.
No, Im not. I just find his views incriminating.
You don't have a right to carry guns but my body guards do.
Did you just call me a terrorist because i don't think like you?
Like the eternal night
And the ethereal day
My mind cannot stop,
Its brakes made of glass.
Thinking consistently,
Delicate matters only.
Like ancient clockwork,
This war has no glory
There are no heroes
No knights in shining armor
No sides
Just yourself
You hold the sword
And you hold the shield
You can ride off on your horse
Heart beating out of my chest
As it calls to me
I cover my ears but the sound increases
It never leaves
Always an echo
I try to hide but there's no escape
It follows me
My sanity hangs in the balance as I write.
I fill the page with a world born of darkness and light.
Of a universe centered at the very tips of my fingers.
It flows from my mind in smooth streams of conciousness
We're so young,
In a world so old.
We think we know what we want,
And what we need.
We form dreams,
And run after them.
However,
Sometimes while we're running,
Sculpted from minerals and then the spirit flows,
Father..
Can you hear me? Does my words matter?
My mind runs with questions that you left unanswered.
Left alone..Confused.. Unwanted..
I thought you loved me?
I can only be lied to so many times.
"It’s fine, don’t worry about it."
Are always the first words to come out,
"It’s all in your head, you’ve got this."
While wanting to spill your lunch on the floor.
Hands shake and arms quake,
I sing and feed my soul.
I dance and sing at my pleasure,
Turning and observing the stars in the sky.
Counting more than my seventeen years,
deep wonder fills my eyes.
My thoughtsGo crazy. They wander,They go in circlesMaybe that's the reason for the blackCircles underneathMy eyes.My eyesStare out the window as my thoughtsUnderneathThy skin wanders.
I wonder what it’s like to go through the death of a loved one. A lifelong friend, a sibling, a parent, a lover. One day here, the next gone. Maybe there were warning signs, maybe there were none.
I watch from inside as the afternoon breeze flows through
The lush green leaves of the overhanging trees out front
I hear from my desk the hum of airplanes flying high
And the snap of the flag in the sky to the side
Peak into my mind, you'll see madness
You'll see me trying to make things add up
ME, trying to cope with this inner sadness
My dangerous mind
Its thoughts unruly
They pray for my demise
I waited for you ever since you set a smile on my face.
I will wait for you as my heart races.
I want to say "I Love You", but I am scared.
Maybe that is why I think the world is unfair.
like the flower, so blooms inspiration.
roses only grow from fertile clay...
thoughts, from a fecund imagination.
insights spring from fruitful contemplation
while new buds grow with the sun's warm rays.
Love isn’t a voluntary feeling.
It doesn’t allow any breaks or rest.
But love allows healing,
Oh my dear, I can hardly wait.Soon we two shall dance with the teasing belladonna hoping to ensnare us bothYou have been too long without a partner, but you have been beautiful
You’re so mesmerizing; you’re the definition of desire.
My heart throbs at the sight of you.
You’re layered with sensitivity and covered in morality, which defines you.
I don't like it.
Not at all, I don't appreciate this.
This immense hatred, and dislike.
That is all towards me.
Why? I must ask why...
Why am I the target, of all,
Your hatred?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately.
About what I want with my life. What ending.
About myself as an older woman. Scared of my own reflection.
Remember when I made her smile?
Lips parted like you haven’t seen for some time.
Those thoughts
The ones that plagued her mind.
Those that caused her to pick up the yellow bottle. Empty it.
I look at you,
And all I feel is disgust.
You mock me,
Capturing me in your everlasting frust-stration.
I look at you,
You mentally batter and abuse.
Do you enjoy it?
You said you would always be there.
You said you would never hurt me.
You said you would always protect me.
You said you would always be in my life,
No matter what.
You said you cared about me.
I feel as if we are a family of trees with no water
Slowly dying from being so dry and broken down
When is the sky going to be bright and yet full of darkness for a shower to bat us?
I am living but I'm not alive
Everynight I let myslef cry
I go to sleep hoping to never wake up
I am living but I'm not alive
I've gone through things and I wish I died
I wake up but I'm still dead
Nothing I do can make me forget you, Everyday is your smile on my mind and your touch on my cheek, your eyes on mine as if we look away we'll go blind.
Have you ever lay silently still and listened to the sound of an orchestrated piano solo play peacefully in your ears and wonder how something seemingly so simple can be so beautiful?
I am stuck in a very confined place
Where there are decisions I need to make
But no one can understand my true face
As I proclaim out loud “it’s a piece of cake”
With these thoughts my head spins frantically
Momma told me nobody would understand me...
I remember on day in the black light momma told me to old on tight...
Inside my head,
I mean a little more.
Inside my head,
Personality is at war.
I dream to be outgoing,
Both pretty and sweet
Everyone wants to be my friend
When I'm inside my head.
You treat water better than your own blood.I might as well be mudAm I a disappointment to you?I don't feel our relationship is trueBirth certificate says your my motherBut seems like your just another
I always wanted to bethat girl;too brilliant to resisttoo pretty to dis,that girl that stops trafficwalking down the street.That's the pretty girl, I wanted to be
Dear, (Fill In the Blank),
I decided the “check the box that applies to you” on the form, was not for me.
So I’m writing over the boxes.
I filled out my address,
my name,
typed in the codes,
"Why must love feel like a heart attack"?Some may sayCausing our hearts to sputter one final beatThump, thump, shhDifferent types of love lause different types
Breaking down the sullen streets
the things at night that no one sees
the bravely fought, the coward won
the poor old man who gave his son
this nation's heart, its duty calls
Somehow I always end up failing.
No matter how hard I try there is always something
Something that prevents the desired outcome i always hope for
I've always had this problem
Not being able to talk right
My nail polish is chipping, andI wonder if the walls of myinsides are the same colorof sea greenbecause I feel a little sick,because I feel the paint peeling,piece by piece,my false peace in pieces.
Create, created
This is how I think
Imagine, design, plan, do
Thoughts then become things
Where has the privacy gone?
From homes separated by a large canvas
Of green grass and long fences
Now walls sit not a feet from walls
Where voices can clearly be heard
And privacy has dissipated into the
Tick, tick, tick,
Tock, tock, tock,
the way in which my brain,
gives way to thought, thought, thought.
One notion to another,
associations then connect,
it brings about my fears,
whatever I think
becomes what I do
yet those things which I wish
never come true.
the sun on this morning
lies bright on the faces
The day slowly darkens so have my thoughts
Your presence inviting but not inviting enough
I run after you and stop right and then
I turn around and forget you again
I am holding a bladeUp to my wrist In the knife all I see is lies upon liesBut then I see youAnd your little blue eyesYou say put the kinfe down AuntieOr I will crySo I put down the kinfe
Abandoned once again
Find strength, confidence, when?
Smile when you're sad
Cry when you're happy
Nothing makes sense thoughts overlapping
Long gone from this world
Heart broken, lost, hurt once more
Do not show jealousy in the light of a mischievous mirror
For that same mirror will glare back at you in madness.
These walls are too white
These lights are too bright
What am I doing with my life?
I could be out there
In the warm summer air
Where has my courage gone?
Close eyes, see your dreams
Close mind, feel our beams
Hover night, why it is so long
One shake, one shiver
The night, will be cold
Inisght, none will be seen
Tickle Tickle Tickle
I wonder more and more how the world worksSome simple things like how those girls twirkAnd those big question of whyLike why did you never get to say bye?I wonder am i making you proud
My emotions have change for the ever more its become so much more.
The obstacles i face that is in my way, seems not to be a problem, oh how my life has change, with you right next to me,
As a baby, I laid and cried in my crib
Observing the sunlight peering through my window
Sometimes, in times when I find myself in need of it;
I stand, or sit, or lay, just... staring.
Staring at the walls, the ceiling, the floor,
What I Hate
I hate when people discriminate
I hate it when some people be invading my space
What I Hate
I hate when people pick in their nose
in front of me
Long legs sprawl across a desk,
And eyes gaze tiredly at nothing.
What is life?
I wonder as I nibble at the end of my pencil,
And the subliminal voice whispered in my brain.
according to my tattoo artist
my paper is skin thin my skin is paper thin.
thin skin means more scarring means shitty tattoos.
i am not capable of holding ink.
you press roses into your wrists and hope the sweet smell mends the broken skin back together.
plant daisies in the ashes of your burnt out thoughts,
this is all too much.
is it a heaviness? do you feel like you can't breathe? like honestly there is nothing much keeping you alive and you don't know why. it is just a sadness that goes into your bones and makes it hard to get up in the morning.
"your body is the house you grew up in" he used to tell me,
"all the paint may not be fresh and there are cracks in the doors but they make you more comfortable to live in, my dear"
i never had your heart, you never placed it in my hands.
but i just want you to know that i could handle it.
not that you'd ever decide i'm strong enough to, but just in case you ever wondered.
I write because it is my tactic of escape
From this cold world filled with violence and rape
Am I doing the right thing?
Does it really matter if I hurt someone?
Honestly I could do not care how they feel.
I do what I want when I want to.
No regrets, no hesitation.
The pieces never fit to begin with.
Given fragments of things that don't match;
they weren't even close...
Wanting rain for every moment,
lost in a place with no way out,
The cold wind feels dead and grim
but the warmth of her arms awaits him.
He moves foward as if chaising a dream.
At first I thought that I was the only one
It felt as if a part of me were gone
And I did not know why
So at nights all I did was cry
What was the cause?
After so long why now?
Thoughts zing here and there
But I don't know exactly where
I ponder life and all that matters
What if everything shatters
I see life change all around
You can see it in the trees and on the ground
continuing to search
for solutions
for the involuntary kill
all similar triangles
dead-eyed
squinting in traffic
public television
blasting from the T.V.
Thoughts are
Drowning me
In my head
A pool
Of lies
And conspiracies
Not stopping
Until I have sunk
But I know how to swim
Memories are
Burning me
Words escape me when I think too deeply for far too long.
Sometimes I contemplate whether the things I inspire are wrong.
A perfection to acheieve in the world of precision.
So many competitors, not enough prizes
I hope to seek a win in some of my suprises
My ambition to win is higher than most
Although I've been passed by as if I'm a ghost
I would kill for a pill that would make me feel,
So happy inside,
Fill me with pride and confidence,
If someone offered it to me,
I'd happily agree to take it with me,
Tonight
I have never seen the stars so bright
So vast, so full of light
I lie on my back, a frail, pale hand reaching toward the heavens
Counting the stars, numbering in sevens.
She walks by him and he notices her,
She turns to face him
He smiles sweetly at her and notices her radiant beauty
She smiles back and she notices his charm
Her eyes are like emeralds
His like sapphires
They live inside my mind
take shelter in all its corners
weave themselves in my veins
and race each other to my mouth
dodging the filters of my teeth
they slide down my tongue
If I had the power, I would help a baby bird to fly. I would teach it how to use its wings. I would catch it if it fell. I would make it believe in itself. If I had the power, I would help the mother on minimum wage.
There I was, yet there I wasn'tFor they neither saw me or knew where I hidThe shadow's hostage; the dustmite's captiveI feared "I'm forgotten" despite what I didAlas, they still call me
This girl, she lives a normal life everyday, she wakes up, gets ready and goes to school. She is physically there but not mentally or emotionally.
Doth thy wonder,
In thy sleep,
Of a place where dreams come true,
And your heart be forever at ease?
Steady trying to feel in this void. I find myself clenching the sheets, feeling it's texture. Smooth you would've thought... but, it's been layed in so long there's a change. Not one too noticable, but one only the owner knows of.
Mind over matter but I question who do I matter to, now a days I prey for better days but I feel as if the whole world has dropped the thought of me ever existing, remembering reoccurring events that's in prisoned my mind is captivating my will t
Can you feel the weight of my bones?
Can you taste the sound of my thoughts?
Please, I beg of you, listen and listen closely
because you will hear nothing as sad and nothing as joyous
as my thoughts for you.
I struggle to put the words in my head
Down on paper.
Words hold power, and mine would stir
The minds of those who thought they knew me.
Other worldy, inter galactic thoughts.
My tears of sanity
Grinded by hell
Drag through bones and dust
Continuous battles
Thrown to the ground
I was once toldThat we are all made of stardust.Some doubt this theory,But I can testify of its truth.
she exhales
a barely audible whisper
dissipating slowly
through the drifting currents
of the wind
and with that solitary
spoken word
hardly a sound that
Though her lips say she doesn't,
her eyes say she still does
love him.
She looks at him like
she looks at
no one else.
It's cliché,
but her eyes do sparkle
and light up
each day I think about what you would say ifI told you'I miss you.'how you would react ifI grabbed your hands andlooked into your eyes like we used to do. where your arms would be if
Hollow Ghost of Red Heart
Ominous with frantic rage
Yet vindictive under the Vail
Luminous as starlight nights
Breathing Just Fine
Held under water
Gazing upon him
We fight for a way out
The sea blue runs black
It's nine A.M..
You're awake,
but you don't leave your bed
because you have so much to do,
soft and furry
try not to scurry
sizing up a lion
we are not buying
no need to freak
the point is bleak
we live among you
its true
the name you gave us
I don't really know if my thoughts stay in my headThe thoughts that find me while I sink into my bedThey corner me, distract meNever leaving me a day
Days,
Weeks,
Months,
They pass.
And I wait.
I wait on you.
I wait on a FaceTime,
A call,
Some word.
But you don't call.
You don't FaceTime,
You send no word.
I believe that once I was a beautiful being
A being meant to live amongst the stars
Worshipping one God and helping nature also praise Him
I once believed I could've moved mountains,
Homeless individuals sleep with dreams of what they used to be
Now they have moved on leaving the new generation drowning sea to sea
No education, no temptation, to get a dream fulfilled
I can't tell the difference between my dreams and reality anymore
Everyday I wake up and yet I'm never really here
I find myself living within the parallels of a world that loved me unconditionally
I've gotten so used to the rain that I hardly feel it anymore
It's liek a friend giving sweet, sweet caresses
Letting me know everything is all right
The cobble stone sidewalks that trip me on my walk remind me
I sit and I stare
intense sunlight fires through the slits of my squinted lids
Like blinds I shutter out the most of it,
and trickling down are little specks of dust
Closer I look
I’m that girl
That’s a fly on the wall.
That girl that tries to do good things
But doesn’t get noticed at all.
I’m that girl that no one sees when her friends are near
It is strange that I had never touched a cigarette until I had remembered how the taste would linger in my mouth after I had kissed you?
Like the rising excitementfor a special daysoon to come,And the first dayI held a puppy.Like the butterflies flutteringaround in my stomachon the first day of school,
I've been known to think endlessly of the sun, burning so hot it feels like hellfire setting my heart aflame and searing through my veins. to obsess over the future,
I try to find myself, but I've been lost for forever. It's like I'm going in a circle so you'd think I'd know better. I'm somewhat lost in a trance, I can't find myself. Took 34 pills disregarding my own health.
The sickled sling which cast doubts beckons from the blackened light.
An inevitable dream that awakens me abruptly, haunts my ever waking moment.
What we wanted to be so badly as a child
Has slowly become reality
What we yearned for with our friends,
Creeped up on us without warning
I, was 5 small and blind to the world and life
Everyone, everywhere
love me, desire me
Let me be in all of your wet dreams and fantasy
men, women, all alike
I need to feel loved and wanted.
if I wasn't so careful I would allow
Could you in that dense mind of yoursHave ever dreamed a world so greatSo filled with beauty and passions
The people act like they know me.
Act like they know what it's like to be "free".
Freedom? What a fucking joke.
Locked inside the bars of my own mind, rattling the cells but no one hears me.
What a tremendously frightening sight,
I try to contain my furious might,
As I look up to the stars in the night,
I realize that I am nothing.
I see water cascade down the rock with mold,
I don’t understand where this is going.
Where are you taking me exactly?
The way I see it,
This has become an endless cycle
Repeating itself,
Leading to a dead end each time.
I think about it every time,
It's all I think about,
How to kill; and when to kill,
Knife of rope?
I search for a blade to slit the ever flowing blood; cascade,
If I suddenly disappeared,
No one would notice..
If I slipped away for a year,
No one would care.
So the point in being here ??
None given.
No point of existing.
No point of living.
I can't look at you smiling
Laughing with you is confusing
My best friend such comfort
But I feel so unsafe now
Your touch so overwhelming
To smile, sigh, flinch, or cry
I desire your grip and kiss
I wait and I falter,
I'm going to suffocate,
unable to breath,
shaking,
I cry silent tears but they make an impact,
rushed away,
well I tried to hold it at bay,
but my conscience made me unable,
Loneliness is such a bitter-sweet word
Who else to you know better than yourself?
The more you're alone, the more you know
About what makes you tick.
Yet, what if there's things best unknown?
Sometimes when trying to protect
Someone else from getting hurt
Something’s got to give, usually your heart
For the best you toughen up
Blinded By Lust,
Heart Full Of Mistrust,
What Does He See Really,
What Do The Other Men See,
See So Special In Me?
Why Do They Chase Me?
I Am Self-Discipline. Brilliance. Dedication.
I Am Beautiful. Young. Emancipated.
I Am Success. I Am Blessed.
If,
I had only awakened only to see the one
I have been so desperately and passionately
Been waiting to embrace,
To let known as it has always seen
Not as it has always been perceived
My heart burns hottest flames blue
My body sweats being in the sun
My mind's lost my heart's empty
All my emotions now disperse
For now my heart hurts
A flash of an image
And my mind suddenly works
Something is missing,
Each day that passes it is like I am breaking just a little more.
My head spinning
Thinking of all the memories.
It is very easy to get lost in my own mind.
When I look for a way out,
In all my 19 years,Through fears, cheers, and massive clears,I would have never imagined I'd be sitting here mirrored.
Dont believe everything that reaches your ears.
Living day by day with all those fears.
Ever falsehood that mocks you.
Every whisper that wipes the smirks from their faces.
I wake up and fall asleep to the same thing on my mind
Unfortunately, this something does not go away with time.
These thoughts are the farthest things from being kind
It sucks to be alone
Rather be alone than with deal with fakes
Bestfriends???
I'm not sure they exist
Not talking to many people
Is something very rare
Having to deal with things alone
I once met this girl,
She was always boucing along happily,
Playing without a care in the world,
She had friends and extremely great family,
I wander lonely around,
As I watch the world move as fast as lightning.
I watch those that fall leisurely get up and move on, unbound,
While I'm stuck in the black hole I once found shiny.
Life is all stick and stone.
Looking out across recent life's sea,
Or shall I say looking in,
I'm looking at what used to be.
I'm not excluded from that life and its kin.
Intrigued by your mystery,
captivated by your suspense, but you're
Forbidden.
Like eve nothing can stop this desire,
you radiate
Temptation.
One day she'd be happy
And the feelings that once made her cry
Would be filling the words with memories
I feel cold.
Colder than someone should feel.
I want to be alone
All the time
What is there to live for?
There is no point
Without love, life is pointless
Love,A Horizon compelled betweenTwo Suns and a MoonTrend carefullyBecause love is yet an eclipse that canDarken your path towards Enlightenment
I pause to think.
a second too late and the opportunity; gone.
that fate might allow a genius to slip, the slip of a genius;
the world's fate amiss.
and tired my eyes fall heavy in sleep,
TO: All those who toss & turn late at nightFROM: InsomniaDATE: 12/30/2013SUBJECT: Late at night, what crosses your mind?
The love that is a mere emotion in ones heart given to people to walk on
Emotion is nothing to some people
We ten gallon lovers stand here like flower in nature that gives everyone
A rose, but one, none other rose did I have,
A rose, one rose, and this was a wondrous creation,
One rose a rose that brightened earth and sky,
One rose, my rose, that sweetened my breath and air,
He sits and wondersAlways five steps aheadHis thoughts are thunderYet his body lies deadHe left the present behindTrying to bully it out of his mind
An artist’s mind is often swallowed by indigenous thoughts. Trying to balance ones conceptions on a fine thread.
I had yearned for so long
I had waited for too long
I died inside for too long
no love no compaasion
no warm embrace
not even a tender touch
quiet nights
desperate mornings
I have these words swirlingaround, all my thoughts twirling. I rarely have a chanceto let these pieces sit, to dance. Because the very moment Ilet my thoughts be, for a fraction of a
In the silent waves she saw herself,
Lost and confused, she cried for help.
Through the screams and moans that came tumbling out,
The distorted images that filled her with doubt.
No longer could she stand alone,
Sometimes I just lay on my bedThoughts and memories swarming in my head.I try to remember the good times I've hadBut they somehow slip away, always making me mad.
It feels like I been here before I feel familar with this scene these words theses actions I feel like its on everyones minds thoughts lips tounge, its been in every corner of the world this feel to familar yet it has no shape, nor organic matte
Sometimes I feel like I’m all alone.
Sometimes I feel like I’m a stone
Sitting on the bank of a river
Waiting for someone to push me in.
I could sink to the bottom
Wouldn’t make a splash
Where are you going,
I can't find you,
where are you going,
I just trusted you,
Where are you going tonight.
I just wanted you,
and I just needed you,
I am waiting, I am alone,
My life is like a bad fairytale.
Dragons lurk in every cave,
ogres in every shadow.
When I get to the place where the castle should be,
what do I see?
The evasive palace has escaped me.
I want to love you for forever and a day.
Til the sun comes down, and its time to lay.
Til, the wind blows and the seas roar.
I wanna be with you, but dont forget theres one more.
My blood ran cold as he looks at me,i shiver as his breeze past me, i look apon his face and i worry... why is this i wonder?
Hey Mr. Principal,
Hey Mr. Smith,
I hope you sit comfortably –
On your plush office plinth,
With all your private accolades –
That no one could care about,
To the varsity trophies –
Eventually
Eventually you’ll run out of tears,
Eventually you’ll run out of fears.
Eventually you’ll run out of sadness,
She said it was the most consuming thing,
the way he would flow through her, and every word she sang.
Love
a 4 letter word, though it holds so much gravity
yet we throw it around like something thats only worth a penny
Hate
The day it rained diamonds crowds flooded the streets,
but riots broke out,
and all feel to their knees.
Then mixed with the shine,
came the dullness of blood.
I feel like I’m one dimensional
I feel like I’m the only one who sees how I see
I feel like the harder I try to be exceptional
The more flaws are pointed out to me
I’m scared of what’s ahead
No more printed worksheets,
no more downloaded lessons,
I want you to stand up and teach the class.
Unglue your eyes from that computer of yours,
and stop texting that person on your phone,
Let's pop some pills, Fall in loveCut our wrists and spill our bloodDrink come Gin, let's die tonightCome on Demons, help end our lifeLet us bleed, for what we see
Let's pop some pills, Fall in loveCut our wrists and spill our bloodDrink come Gin, let's die tonightCome on Demons, help end our lifeLet us bleed, for what we see
All the cliques laugh away
While I sit and watch
Wondering where my friends are
Wondering where you are
Wondering why distance keeps us apart.
The teachers will lecture
I asked a girl, who had red hair, what it meant to love,
We talked for hours, endlessly, the characteristics of our beloved.
Compassion and care, with honesty and trust,
The fire of passion turning seclusion to dust.
Dont we come across a wonder
Every now and then?
I mean shouldnt we just write them in a book
We should -
No we shouldnt
Thoughts are meant to be kept in mind
No where else than our mind
Grasping for air that my lungs desire
as i pull the tear drops back inside
Camoflaging the dark clouds that hover above me
When will you acknowledge the darkness
that surrounds my inner walls?
You clenched at my chest,
For a sweet rational moment.
Heart drop.
Bottom rock.
The bitter grin
Made my face numb like gin.
The only
Substance
That can
Be
Absorbed
Stretching your own skin.
Laying on your side.
Turning pages on an ebook.
Reading about the baby.
Reading your way into motherhood.
Passing by the years go by.
Wondering where innocence has gone.
Be my sleeping guard
The soldier of my dreams
Hold me in your arms
Wake me when I scream.
Be my protector of uncontrolled unconscious thoughts
Lead me through these things I've fought
Cold breeze bugging me,
But the warmth from your skin
Is tugging at my broken heart from never being held
But you held me, oh, you held me
Little asks of where should we
And heat upon my cheeks
Have you chosen to speak to a man with a crown on his head but rags on his feet?an optimistic mind so devine, however benign,for ideas are mere conceptuality,far from reality.
There is no good morning when I sit in this class at 7am
I don’t give a care about what you’re sayin
How would listening to you rant help me
Achieving a dream, is this how it’s supposed to be?
We’ve all said it,
We’ve all heard it
That easy little phrase to use when you're hurting
Two words, two syllables.
I’m Fine.
Oh shitty shit shit who stands upon thee front class.
Who do you think you are? perhaps an ass?
One who plants stress in my interior
and who thinks is superior.
I yell enough is enough!
You’ve Got Mail
I remember the movie well;
Full of incomparable romance,
Soul-mates of a sort
Long since found
You’re afraid of what could happen
So you constantly keep up a wall
You are in a constant battle
But aren’t we all?
Gravity is irresistible.
I want to stay away,
But this concept is not unmistakable.
It must sustain on the bay.
I feel defenseless
In my naked soul.
As I am relentless
I am blind to people’s ignorance,
However ignorance is bliss.
And I still have tolerance,
As I wait for an aching kiss.
I am dumbfounded
By his beauty.
And yet it is astounding
Light growing darker,
Creeping in on those who are begining to surrender.
The mind is over drawn and at some points sinister.
Lofty weights hang from the heart,
This is a forum of confessions, my first impression leave lasting impressions, my expressions aren’t always impressive, so my expressions are in question but for the record my expression comes in different forms in the feeling I hoard
Kindly turn and walk away,
Abandoned thoughts have gone astray.
Images allude feelings once had,
Timid eyes have now gone bad.
Looming clouds that hang overhead,
Yerk the soul about things unsaid.
A long seventeen years ago, there were things I had to forgo, moving around from place to place, the kids at school would never see a smile on my face, every other week going from house to house, staying still and quiet as a mouse, I didnt know w
In all truenessyou’re my steeple of religionThe paper weightholding me down in placethe blade of grass where the ladybug resides my bedside books and first shower of the day
I try so hard,
even when I feel I have made some progress
It is for naught.
My line is corrupt.
I dream at night, as we all do
I'm at a loss of all control of my mind, lost in my dream.
The darkness is suffocating as it engulfs me entirely,
Physically, emotionally, mentally.
You would never believe
where i had landed
Far from the world
but still empty handed
does it change a thing at all
i guess i'm not one to make that call
to fall or stand was my only choice
Tell me something please
Is it normal to feel like this?
Oh, to be young and this sad is so sad
My thoughts are making it hard to breathe
And I just can't stop feeling this sad.
Her hair is short
And bitter sweet
Her eyes are red
She doesn’t sleep
………………………………………..
She lay awake
You know zero things.
Hi, did you attend college?
You're actually hindering my learning experience.
Your voice makes me cringe.
I copied the homework.
Being the first person in my family to persue College is a blessing. Knowing that years ago many African-American people weren't allowed to go to school or learn, is a lesson to be taught.
Darkness cascades over a cliche moment of loneliness.
Circulation fails and my hands go numb,
as I stare at a bright screen watching the rest of the world go by
at 2 past witching hour.
Feel sick to my stomach...Just want to throw-up...
Trying to stay positive, but real, as well...
Seeing things I dislike...Thinking about things that are out of sight, but still in the mind....
What do you do when all of your fears come true?
When you want to run and hide
But the only place to be alone is in your mind
You take out a pen and paper & write as you cry
. . . As of now I'm sitting here in my bedroom thinking
Of the truth behind the lies and the games
It's such a shame that I'm hurting deep within of the bones that hold my frame
What is there to do now but to wait . . . .
How she tells me she is honest,I can only nod, uneasy inside.She let me say what was on my mind,And, listening back, I became fonder.My once hardened wall broke down,Leaving only the opportunity for freedom.
we live in a world of constant contradictionopinions with unknown recognitionconstantly looking over our shoulderquestioning those we know won't listena world of true infidelity
This world is so shallow
That my rain boots weep
To compensate
For the lack of depth
In puddles they encounter.
Feeling is so overrated.
So I've decided not to do "that" anymore.
"That" is like licking the pages of a cookbook,
Stupid and silly.
That melody, that melody, that haunts my wretched brain,It fills my dreams by night it, it follows thought by day.That melody, that melody, its source I think of in vainIt is ever with me, whether I sit or stand or lay.
Blue is red
Red is green
My thoughts are mud
Mud is dirt
Save for me
What you have
And I shall save for you
Things I do not even have
Be careful, Be careless
What is life?
Why am I not brave?
Where is my self-confidence?
Why am I so afraid?
Will I pass this test?
Will I prove that I’m better than the rest?
How did I end up here?
When will I leave?
Strained thoughts fly through my mind
Like cracks in the pavement.
Each line deliberate and
Jagged.
I stare at my hands that are
Holding a pair of scissors.
I turn to face the mirror.
Now all is through, the battle is over,
The en’my retreated and gone.
The faint bugle calls still heard from afar;
In the distance the fifes and drums.
Nearly all is still – deathly still,
Can't. I just, I just... Can't.Now there's no one around to hear this rant,and even if there was, I wouldn't let them.
Every day I turn myself around,
Try on someone new,
It scares me to think
That this is who I am
Unique flaws and fears,
I know that I am few.
A rare case, they say,
A different sort of person
I walk into the class, Room nine
and all I see are boys behinds
I wish they would take school more serious
cause what they're doing is delerious
looking in the mirror,
I can see what I'm not.
I see what I don't have,
and not what I've got.
but she's so much skinner,
is something I say.
or she's really pretty,
and I'm not that way.
I think in differnet places.
Calculus is in the crinkled skin of my forehead
and tight at the apex of my scalp
Marching is in my bones
and meaty joints
Music is in my eyes and mouth
Everyday I'm trying to move on
Memories with you keeps haunting me
Peace, when will it come?
To the day when I can forget
You were my everything
So much for your pretty lies
How long will you mourn me,
Not at all, it's not your concern
For if you were to mourn me
It would make my heart burn
Feel the cold wind surround you
Enjoy the embraces of new lovers
They think it's easy
Easy to think so much
Information consumes one
Like bees on honeycomb
Where do all these thoughts
Originate
Pulled from thin air
Circulating from mind to mind
He has been walking along this blinding, stony path for quite some time.
The sun strains his eyes, and the stones hurt his feet.
Every so often, he trips along his way.
Every so often, he stays down where falls.
Ambition
Trapped in a dark room filled with doom
But I’m waiting on that spark so I can start.
On a new road but I’m getting too old
To be wait’n and contemplate’n on choices but I can’t hear
Every time I sleep; pains on my brain’.Abolishing my heart n soul lord escort my vein.From the bounded clouds of this mournful pain.I can’t predict the weather nor the range of the rain.But hope for the station of this moving train.Thou death is s
I am leaving my roots. / Off to the prison I go. / I am leaving my home. / Off to the vast unknown. / I am leaving the love. / Off to where hate will roam. / I am leaving the hugs. / Off to where I'm alone. / I am leaving myself behind.
Your life is mapped out onto a map of fateDestined to never miss a dateAlthough as you move forward details shift
Sea fog lifting, billowing, moist morning mist.
Slug trail shimmering,
faded asphalt.
Quiet, calming, claustrophobic cellar smell.
City alleyway,
sunrise street scent.
If I say anything, would you be shocked that I spoke? Yes I may be quiet and shy but what is the problem? I just don't have much to say...why judge? Why judge the fact that I'm quiet? Would you like for me to speak as loud as the eyes could see.
Sometimes you wonder
After a morning of waking up to the sunshine
Or a day spent with friends
Or an afternoon of light reading
Or an evening watching your favorite movies from childhood
That maybe
Every day seems somber.
I look away and
as I walk to school
I can feel myself removed.
I watch myself sit there in class
I watch myself write
I watch myself get through it
I am that nameless one, the one girl everyone seems to have an opinion on
Oh look, there's that one ! that slim one, I heard she was this , heard she was that
You hardly even know me to even talk. what do I do ?
Has there ever been a point in your life
Where you say
This is not me
This is not who I am
And this is not what I want to do
lie here next to me
look up to the sky
see the stars,
smiling down
one for each you and me.
take my hand
hold it tight
see the stars,
how they fill the night.
catch your breath
I was told to write a poem, a poem describing myself.
Myself is like this poem forced to be written a certain way.
Not too long, but not short
sometimes funny, happy, and sad.
Thoughts flood the mind in ample quantities.
They provide attention for the unknown.
They give power to reason and to imagine.
Thoughts give the power to form or understand.
Who am I ?
Sometimes I'll just stare in the mirror in front
And I'll cry cause that girl I see
Isn't happy, with herself
Growing up, without a care
The world seemed so full of love
I often find myself listening to my own mind
I hear it think
And register emotion
I find it hard to control
It is fascinating
And frightening.
standing among the ashes of your life
can you justify
all the fires you setall the bridges you burnedall the hearts shatteredall the people you broke
standing in front of the cracked glass
Little bird,
Your voice is heard.
I see your tears,
I understand your fears.
I will fight for you,
But you must fight too.
Little bird,
You mean the world to me,
Throbbing and pounding,I give you your deepest thoughts.You're not using me correctly,Everything about me gradually rots.
I wonder if the other tired eyeshang low like their hearts because past loversare in the past and the future movesfast,so fast.
Days like this, I often debate, why'd I let you into this space, I kept so safe. We was always on and off so it was light switch for me to switch you off.
Intrigued, intrigued by life I see everything surrounding me. I feel it too. I went from learning to tie shoe to being able to choose.. Choose who it'll be I'll see in front of this country.. Ain't talking U.S. when they talking bout Us man..
as i sit here in this bed with millions of thoughts going through my head most of them filled with dread others i wish they were gone but instead they sit here in their own little bubble not causing any trouble physically i mean but mentally their
Did you ever wish you can turn back time
To that one scene in your life.
When listening to your head just didn’t seem right?
I try hiding from the darkness
that your memories hold,
later I embrace it
for it's the reason why I am strong.
I try running from the pain
caused by my own shed blood,
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!I wake up to my alarm going off...another day,another scar. I slowly get out of bed and set to my morning chores.I take a shower, get dressedthen I put on the darkest make up,to express my feelings. I skip breakfast...
We go so far to find we are alone.As I wander the faculties of my mindI come to the conclusionThat time is the pinO' self-destruction When I lie at nightMy subconscious mind takes flightI journey to planes on astral connections
Where do we begin?
Oh child, Where do we begin?
We begin as thoughts,
made ofStar dust
(Yes, star dust)
Once an angel sat down next to me,
In the form of a homeless man,
On a graffitied park bench and
Said to me:
“Why you’ve been an idiot.
Constanly contamplating, consistently innovating
no matter what day, no matter what time
always wanting to be free of thoughts that are mine
these ideas inside my head, wont alow me to sleep
What if no one ever tried, or if no one was inspired?
What if no one ever created, or if no one ever desired?
Where would this world be?
Lyrics so enchanting I tremble
Beat so good I shake it
My brain
My thoughts
Coincide
With my withdrawals
Especially if I have the withal
Or the guts
Or the truth
Or the tenacity
There is always a balanced
A pretender A giver A fighter A lover
Certainly Uncertain
The paradox of a forgotten tomorrow and
a foretold yesterday
Can’t exude the pain, the relapse or fear
I was just thinking, how strange that I'll never walk those halls again
But sadly, surreally, neither will you.
I will miss you terribly, my friend.
Even more now.
When the rain falls at night
It helps me to sleep
It washes away
All the pain that I weep
I try my best
To look beyond the bad
But it keeps coming back
Like my pen to my pad
Why is he staring? Staring at me?
Does it look like I'm glaring?
I'm just clarifying.
I'm just noticing what I say or what I don't,
Too much or not enough,
All clouding up me like a smoke puff.
When you see a word, scrawled on a line.
Does it ground your thoughts,
Like on anchor
Deep in the sea?
Does your mind roil,
Like a storm that grew up,
All alone,
Abandoned by its parents?
I write to let you know
How I feel
How I miss you
How I resent what happened
I write to let people hear
The eloquence of vowels
The harshness of consonants
I think if your lips pierced mine again,
I’d fall back into old habits.
It would be unfortunately fine with me.
The way your blue eyes made my mind spin,
Sent shivers of pleasure down my spine.
Pen
Paper
Black on white
Flick of the wrist
A moment’s goodbye
Swimming in my own mind
I can get lost in this world
Other’s voices, other’s own ways
In a large round fishbowl- trapped in this world. Fed lies and sold to whomever would buy.
I see things that are out of reach- like the caring souls that look on in pity- that don't have the means to save me.
The passion that leaked was spilled by led,
The words able to form what's been left unsaid.
There are times I wonder how it all began,
Though I'm sure it was because of the age of man.
I've always been a litte small, I've never been super tall, my voice is light and gets carried away by the wind. Sometimes I forget who I am, Sometimes I forget what I want.
Poeticinsecuritieshauntingunbrokendreams in placesdeep beneaththe wavesof electrolytespulsingthrougheach brandnew idea.
I don’t write for myself
I don’t often write poetry
Words are use to express emotions
But what happens when the words don’t come?
God.
He sends a message,
a plea,
a vision.
I write to take away the pain
That memories can bring
I write to offer up my thoughts
To anyone or thing
I write to express anger and fear
In ways I can’t with voice
my mind is the sea,
so insignificant to the universe- yet so meaningful to me.
a sea with shallow waters like glass
where superficial thoughts lie in the masses.
You reel me in,
I cringe from you.
You toss me aside,
I hold you down.
You throw me out,
I run away.
You long for me,
I stay in the sidelines.
You lure me back,
I come back,
Inside a bottle
circling round and round,
fluttering by,
bouncing, bobbing,
all mixed up.
Inside a bottle
try to capture,
slow the movement,
stop the noise,
Words are made of feelings,
A breeze on a summer night.
Words are made of real things,
Fire from a candlelight.
Piled together... just words?
Or something a little deeper?
The night whispers-
how ye' do, how ye' do,
do you have any news?
My mind full of fascinations,
complications, ratifications
simply
says
no.
No, new news do I yield
to you.
Yet my heart flutters, my gut repulses.I crave his company and voice,even though every mutter of his breath will be of her.The way his lips move when he speaks,oh it melts me to the core with crave.
I can smile and look at everythingTwisting a strand of hair with my finger,A childish expression i wear to pass the time. Until then I am wasting my time skipping and stepping on broken leaves,My toes growing numb from the water soaking into my sh
My problem is that a love a lotI love an abundant amount of peopleFrom family to friendsTo strangers I met just onceSo I suppose I say I love you too muchBut I believe love comes in many forms and levels
I write because,
the pen is the only thing that understand me.
And the paper; the only thing that listens.
I write because of hard times,
because of bad times.
My private thoughts are my worst enemy
Things that shouldn’t roam my mind, do.
Eventually it becomes too much
So I open my mouth
And when I do, all my thoughts flow out
Awaken!
A new day has arrived,
And as new scenes arise
To the forefront of my mind,
I run deep with them
Into the wild of my thoughts.
Not thoughts alone, though,
But rather places and things.
Breath in, calming your rushing, yet stationary, thoughts.
140 pounds standing before the starting line.
Limbs lighter then the surrounding debris.
The feel of your spikes against the vividly damaged red track fuels
I hear the soft footsteps of rain outside my window,
It’s louder friend only seconds behind.
They bring me no fear,
No wariness, no excitement.
A black face is all they see
They see black and think of evil and greed
But this is much more than just a black face to me
A philsopher, stroyteller a role model to me
Some people see the lighter side
Who blesses this child that cries alone, when the place that’s safe is farthest from home.
To whom does she thank for the large dreams broken and who will wipe her face when tear stained shirt is soaking.
When you see meYou see a loner-Unafraid and uncaring.The shadows aren't showing. When you look in my eyesYou find only blankness.Yet you can tell it is only a coverSo others won't see.
Pretenses are a poisonSociety refuses to forsakeThey are walls built with bricks of little liesExpose just one and the wall will break And yet, they seem so vitalWhen trying to hide your faults and fears
Dreams
Dreams are like the seasons,
Bitter and hostile
Sweet and endearing
Nostalgic and repressed
It is indeed true that
The makings of a man,
and indeed that the
Greatest of men
Are oft those of
The greatest flaws
And hardships concerning
Mental and physical
Armageddeons unseen
Naturally I wear my hair jet blac with no perm,Naturally I speak my mind if I see it fit,Naturally I am artistic,Naturally in nature I am me.
I write to expose
to become
to release what I've held in so long
because in a poem
you don't have to lie
but in life sometimes you do
but here with my pencil
I can be honest
Poetry
It is simple, but complicated
It gives you the oppurtunity to be heard, but never seen
Poetry allows you to express your emotions, and to relate to others sharing those same emotions
Each and every question, by you or I, to me
My mind is quick to answer, so sure I’ll feel it be
An evolution strikes, as dusk turns into dawn
Awakened with wide eyes, my decision’s fully wrong
When I die, dont bury me,With flowers on my grave,Cremate me.Throw my ashes to the wind.So that I am as free as poetry
The only thing to make me think,The only reason for me to create through speech.
I cannot stand it any longer
Should I fight and Should I die
Would I feel at peace or cry?
O' wonderful person before me
I can't help but feel as if you tease me
(First time recording from probably a year ago... Flow is to be tampered with still and an ending is still debated.)
Poems are used to express
one’s feelings and emotions.
They can be seen as a recess
or even as a potion
I write to bring out
all the words that were just lost
Writing a poem is a grand expression Of the man I am and the one I want myself to be Words become lines, lines become poems, interconnected like brush strokes in a painting or the individual notes of a favorite song These words that capture my hea
Grin at the fact that this page is my shrine.
Where I write what I feel,
It's more than surreal.
It's fact. Written down just like that.
With the snap of my fingers.
Does the impact linger?
Roads, as far they go,
Can only hope for the tread
Of a father and son
So lost in a world that
Could only propoagte and burst
Past its invisible seams.
Their world is godless
What is does it mean to have an ideal society?
To be free?
We may live in the land of the free but are we really free?
Paper, Pen, Thoughts
Shhh; the stillness in the air around me
The chaos from which my thoughts consume me
Shhh; listen. Can you not herer these thoughts?
Not easily said, barely spoken.
Who is considered an "American"?
Is an "American" based on whether you and your family were born on this country
or how hard you worked to pass your citizenship test?
Maybe there’s no right or wrong way to feel about you;Only wrong and maybe rightOr just maybe and might, could beIf you know how to spin it that way,If you can play with your speechAnd teach your tongue to
Growling, prowling, and everything inside me… its seizure shaking
My whole body entwining with the movements of the wind, fire, earth... my soul quaking
The calendar keeps sneaking up on me.
I'm leaving home soon.
I think about how everyone will keep living their lives
and all will go on without me
and it keeps me from worrying about my mother.
Sometimes you watch yourself, understanding why you don't-care,Seeing several different roads, realizing they all lead to no-where,Walking down a flight of steps, hoping the devil won't-stare,
I'm not here to hurt you,
Because I am you
And I know you.
And what I say's true,
Cause I see through
All that you do.
And you know you,
Can do better.
Words that tortureWords that blessWhat shall put my thoughts to rest?
Heart held captiveBy the mindFeelings ever left confined
Words that tortureWords that hauntConsequence of fate unkind
Sometimes I wonder why the government wants to take away our rights
I wonder why I have to fight every single day of my life
Sometimes i wonder what is this hunger we have for more knowledge
Poetry expresses hidden feelings.
They make words sound appealing.
They tell stories,
Out of the words in your inventories.
Sometimes it's hard to describe how you're feeling,
Voices of my friends
I hear it.
Voices of my own
I fear it.
I'm living my life on an unbalanced ladder
hoping that I will be a somebody.
A tongue is sharp and can kill,
It's more than obvious; we live in a cold world
Where society's aim is impregnate every boy and girl
We fall for lies, sewn to the pattern of the embezzlement ties
Under the shower I think about these thoughts.
How
Everybody is trying to be different.
...Which makes no one a part.
Everybody out to get their own. Some people left in the dark.
Sadness drowning me into the depths of the ocean as the sun glistens above me. The white clouds peacefully floating in the air while the Blue Jays dance with them. Now I grasp pain and misery. If I could learn to fly I would never return here.
As I sit on the cool beach sand, my toes greet the brisk lake water. I close my eyes while I breathe in the crisp, clean, morning air, as I search for the light through the thick early fog. I can hear the loving call of a loon to its mate.
Murderer
Is a big word for what you are
You kill someone everyday
Their name is on YOUR birth certificate
It's disgusting
It's vile
It's simply human nature
The world is stuck at 4:38
Somehow between then and
Now
The thing has ticked and
Turned to 6:01,
Must have been a second before
The shutters opened up
To the exuberant existence of
It starts with a bang that goes around my head
as I try to work hard and get my daily bread
but I'm mislead as my face soon turns red
Green, lush flora, flowing, swirling 'round.Such beauty remains unaffected y man,If only it was left to itself.Earth will continue post-humankind,Lacking our catastrophic disturbance.
The darkness fadeInto the blues of -my shadows.
The open rainbow
set a upon
a freedom that is
hard to find.
but only comes after the rain.
maybe you thought you
lost it all
Poetry is the plug
to my outlet.
It completes my circuit.
Energy whirrs within me,
Waiting to have release.
Between us,
there is tension,
this spark.
Facing Life's problems through my paper and pen. Overcoming the obstacles that I produce from within. Once being a lonely soul, making friends with my words. Life's a journey; I'm on a quest to find my pot of gold.
Pulling my hair into a pony tail
I slip on my shoes
And out the door
I’m greeted by a cloudy sky
The air is thick from last night’s storm
Breathing in the morning air, I take
One step
For only the rain shares my sorrow
with its ever tearstained days
And only does this willow tree
match my weeping ways.
Its limbs hang low
Are you that someone, to tell me I’m pretty
Are you that someone, to tell me your better than the world,
Are you that someone to say, pick your head up because it’s not worth it
There is a stranger looking at her in the mirror.
She stares back, dark, wet hair.
Her face- a mask of nothingness- but her eyes, filled with the deepest, contained sadness.
Face, red and stained black with mascara.
Inside my soul it cries and wails,
I keep it trapped, for the key is mine.
Until the cage, from my own hands, at long last falls and fails.
Nobody can comprehend that museful flower,
(
Fear rules my desires
Scared to love and to feel,
To put my soul in a bind.
Let me throw these thoughts in the fire
And watch them turn into ashes.
As she danced for her audience of one, beads of sweat dropped from her hair.-I danced for him, like I never had before.
The darkness around can't get any darker
and the sound of my thoughts can't get any louder
Late night thoughtsWandering lostThe wolf howls over the silence
Black hole heartEmotions exhaustWalking aimlessly through the dark
Stares for changeWondering costForest scrapes the tired skin
and then there they were standing a few steps apart. a moment of silence and little conversation in a span of 24 hours a lot was said through body language, gestures, and spoken words.
Beyond imagining the possibly perfect,
Make anything your heart will dare desire,
Let it go and run wild and watch the effect,
Make no limits: just immensely imagine and don't let it tire.
I’d rather be known by no one and loved deeply by one person than being known by everyone and not close to anyone.
It’s a curious desire to be known, because it seems to nothing for oneself. Yet it’s craved by nearly everyone.
I didn't even know I could write!
Isn't that funny? No one thinks they can write.
Well, no one thinks they can write well.
Actually, no one thinks they can write well *enough*
Gather the pen and paper.
Reminisce for a bit.
Jot down what’s on your mind-
Write down everything you’d like to admit.
Woman.
I am a person.
I live breathe eat.
I am woman.
Someone who refuses to be beat.
Don’t take me for a weakling.
Don’t fool with my mind.
Because I am one who can also be unkind.
I'm the same as them all,
yet so different too.
On the outside I'm whole:
nice enough,
pretty enough.
But on the inside I'm broken in more pieces than two.
Eat my words
you beast of paper, clawing for truth and lies
Soak up my tears
and my smiles, my heartache
and my giggles
A half-formed poem
a finespun respite for
200 pages in my composition..so i ripped one out..slapped humanity in its mouth as it tried to shout at me..though it never seemed to "shut up!" I kept it moving with my ears shut, music playing explaining how the world is so cruel and twisted and
Ever lie in stillness and listen to the ticking of a clock while ones mind wanders and hearts beat begins to mock..the pulses in their brain from time to time found to be consistent and with the way they feel they avoid being resistant...he lies t
You ever get so frustrated with the world, your heart begins to race your fingers start to curl, until your knuckles crack, searching for the reasoning behind your anger but the knowledge of it all you lack..so you sit back and try and withhold ev
What was the first thing you noticed about me?
Did that observation ever make you think,
ponder, wonder
about me?
I want to know where your roots are planted
and where your leaves have fallen.
Growing like a weed,
I can't describe.
How time has passed,
this all in a flash.
Yesterday held a youthful magic,
and today I stand here melanchally.
Wondering.
The age of accountability.
You may believe everything is perfect
To me its just another smile to put on
One struggle to the next is happening fast
And it all started when I was eight.
The creaky, half-snapped sidewalk chalk
talks out the problems of my lonesome childhood.
My thickly-marked, Fruit-Loop colorings and
blurred characters console me
about my constant house-swapping because
(poems go here) I saw a man in the grocery store.
He had a little girl with him.
Probably his daughter, she was about 4.
I swear I had seen him before.
I looked into his eyes and started to remember more.
Never get lost in the maze of making others happy,
you may lose your own happiness in the process.
No need to look, search, or wander,
simply glance in the mirror, and look within yourself.
She’s broken.
Broken into so many pieces from everything she has ever been through.
Her heart cries out for a helping hand, but the tears just continue to flow like a waterfall.
She’s terrified.
(poems go here) My pen sculpts a future
Potential to work and to enjoy with one job
My pen sculpts a dream
Hope of proving my father wrong that writing is dead
I see the Eleanor Rigbys and Gilbert Grapes everywhere I go,
The people who forgot long ago to
See beauty in people laughing, sunflowers shooting up
Out of the ground.
There are people who have never heard a canary
GIVE ME A BREAK!
I’m kinda new to this,
But I see how great your love truly is.
I also see a crazy mess,
And it’s bringing me distress.
Kindness obsolete;
And sometimes kept descrete,
Chains Chains Chains Chains
Call for a need of change
Born free
Every child learns how to wear the manacles
How to chain their minds to someone else's paradigm
How to live with bent backs
why do I write?
well its not for the money
me with out writings
like a bee without honey
I write for my heart
I write to stay sane
I write to show my feelings and capture my pain.
Who am I?
Because I'm struggling in a way that I don't understand,
And I'm living in a world that relationships
So easily become a misconception of a wholesome bond.
I have this fleeting heart making me incapable.
A soul crushed beneath the weight of life
Wings heavy with burdens
Beating frustrations within a cage of flesh
With labored breath and nowhere to turn
Life a gaping hole, spilling across time
The blood seeping
I cant stand missionaries
No let me rephrase that
I cant stand the idea of it
Cultural oppression at its finest
The idea that you are right
And therefore everything else is wrong
I write because I feel it
Because I need it
Because is me
I try to express my opinion in a better way
I write because is the only way to scream my thoughts out loud
and be heard
I Belong to the wind
I belong to the edges
I belong to nobody and still
I am trapped in his most deepest thoughts
in his most pure sighs,
in each of his heartbeats without wanting to get out.
When i speak
the words that ignite a fire in my head
a tidal wave
a tsunami
a hurricane
a rumbling earth quake of what i feel must be heard
just dont come out correctly
stuttering and tripping
What poetry means to me? I could sit here all day and list the reasons I write and what poetry means to me, but that would not quite express the passion I have for it.
Each person is like a shape,
No two shapes are exactly the same,
But no shape is ever simple.
We all have sides not displayed
For this or that reason,
Yet, we feel the need to express
These things you tell yourself at midnight
When you're alone
and those thoughts in your head just won't
shut up.
And all you want is some Goddamn
silence
Enigmas pulsing through my mind,
Wordless and trapped.
Emotions flicker through my psyche,
Unremitting and unforgiving.
How can I release all I'm feeling
In a deluge that refuses
To be formed with words?
I see demons on the ceilings-
They crawl down the steps and up the pew to preach-
I see sheep in the pasture-
and if he tells them to jump they will fly from the rock and kiss the ocean-
Tell them it’s not me.
Tell them it’s not me anymore.
Tell them I’m not quiet,
That I’m not shy,
That I’m the one they should adore.
Tell them they don’t know.
Where do I fit?
Standing among the crowds,
Watching them all pass by,
They all have an identity.
Where do I fit?
I break their molds,
I am too good to be bad,
And too bad to be good.
To be what I want to be is hard.
To be what they want me to be is harder.
To follow behind others and never be myself,
thats somthing I have done for years.
But I refuse to do that anymore.
There was a man.
Who lived in a home on top a hill
He lived alone
He watched the birds come by his house
He watched kids playing outside his home
He wondered what it was like, to chase after that ball
When life gives you lemons you make lemonade
When life gives you cruelty you turn into a renegade
Opressed by the powerful and feared of the mighty
Fearing on what tommorow might bring
As the sun fades away
The sky turns to gray
O' dear, I can only say,
"See you tomorrow morning star"
We look back in time
To where we had our best and worst times
Wish we had a time machine
Static silence converges on my ears
Stealing my sanctuary
Refusing to let me rest in nothingness
Why must there always be something, not nothing?
Blank document,
is the best way
to describe my mind
as this very moment.
Disconnect this USB,
full of confusing thoughts,
to calm down this process
i have going on
Too often we have to have
"me time"
you know... that free time
that "I don't know, I gotta see"
time... with oursleves
A moment to reconcile and re-evaluate
everything that equates
to whats going on
The thoughts are often,
the thoughts are deep,
the feelings are overwhelming,
she can't even sleep;
her wrists are full of cuts,
but her stomach is empty,
when she turns off the lights,
Alone in this dark room, i begin to ponder
About lifes goals, so I let my mind wonder
Venture out into the depths of my thoughts
And invision how well my mind has been taught
Picturing myself as whatever I want to be
As I stare at the blank page in front of me, life is breezing me by
People change, people love, get married, grow old and die
Yet I am still here. Staring at this blank page.
She’s cold and isolated
The demons lurk beneath
People think they know her
But the beauty’s just skin deep
And she wants to run away
From the hurt and the pain
No one sees the shackles trailing,
Silence amongst the house.
Dreadful peace in a home where the family has been cracked.
It’s a home in the sense that sleeping and eating occurs.
It’s home in the sense that we love out of despair.
I have a vase
Of sad forget-me-nots
On the bedstand
Next to Emily
Rose-wooden eyes
See what mine still hide from me
Behind the thread and the needle holes
I know we still holds my memories
A bottle.
There. It sits on its side, pointing its open lid at the brick wall.
Who put it there?
I pick it up. The smooth, transparent plastic runs beneath my feeling fingers as I clutch it in my palm.
Ewwww...
Passing by those I do not know
And those I wish to never know
A packed bus never fails to amuse
So much decay is put on display
Dripping from every pore
Ugly and deceptive to the core
Nautical graves and practical poets,
Woman's condition and cultural woe.
Heaving sensations accompany the telly.
What's worse than these? The end of the show.
I AM
I AM THE FACES OF THOSE WHO HAVE COME BEFORE ME,
I AM THE COURAGE TO STAND TO MY ENEMIES,
I AM THE VOICE OF GENERATIONS WHO HAVE BEEN RIDICULED,
DISRESPECTED, USED, ABUSED, AND NEGLECTED.
Never really felt like
I was needed around
I'd clown too much,
always frown and feel left out.
I begged for attention,
though never realized by most.
i tried to fit in,
but always gave up hope.
What am I to do? when everything around seems to fall apart. When those that I love are filled with malice and regret? What am I to do?
As I present myself to you
As I walk away askew
May I ask some questions too?
To make these vivid flames anew?
Looking at her plate
Glancing at her thighs
No thanks, she says
Waiting to be perfect, or what she thinks is perfect.
With a traffic state of mind I can’t seem to find a friendly distraction to ease the pain of the twisting kaleidoscope known as my heart.
To speak your mind in the way of words
Belittles the magnanimous thoughts
Trapped inside the mind struggling to break free
And to feel the recognition of others knowing
But losing the greatness of that was hidden
Afraid you'll never be,
More than you wish to be.
Thoughts stand against you.
Toil with your emotions.
'To be or not to be'
Rings in your head.
I was always taught never seem weak
Always act strong
To always fake that smile
And laugh like nothings wrong
But right now I think about those hard times I got through
Drip
Drop
Will it ever stop?
The hurt
The pain
Blood dried on my shirt
And still nothing to gain
Why does the pain still persist?
My happiness is so greatly missed.
Inside I am screaming
Dark galore
The minute my hands shut the door
Blank music sheets spread on the floor
Spiderwebs on the stairs
Wake me up
Before I lose it all
This nightmare's a little too real
Pick me up
I'm starting to fall
Pretty soon I'l forget how to breath
I'm not asking. I'm begging you now
I'm the shadow in a rainbow
I'm the anger in a smile
I'm a raincloud on a sunny day
The tenth number in a dial
Take away my lifelines
Watch me fade away
I am the Gravity Killer
Wake me up with nightmares
Fill my head with ash
I am the Shadowman
A fight to fight
A will to win
A loss and all its strife
A maiden bane
An iron chain
A cosmic blow to life
A thought profound
A mind unbound
A song to set you free
A voice to quell
It seems fine
the wine is flowing
Laughter is swirling the room
Sadness is blockaded from entering
That rush of panic
Im running!
I want to forget reality!
Only wanting to reach
Time.
Tender love
Fragile heart
Delicate balance,
Constantly searching
My dear, you are special
Be you
You can’t find your other half
If you haven’t found yourself
Turn it up
Music loud
I just want to play it
So hard I can’t think
Get away
Melt
Eyes closing like
Once opened doors
Listening to the stories of others
Like pages turning, examples of being told no
That you can’t do it. You’re silly. Or crazy.
Dream smaller. Safer
What about that little girl
Who sits in her college dorm
I write poems of anger
Thoughts, frustrations
Joy and fear
As a means of putting out
The words that come and swarm in
My head like bees
The things I’ve been through
Written about, which hold the
Story line of my past.
And I hope that the reader
Can learn and laugh along with me.
Feel my frustrations
Realize the fullness of the path
How am I supposed to know?
Cultures vary
Numerous interpretations
What’s considered deviant
Or acceptable vary
By cultural perspective
Adonis, Greek god of beauty
And desire.
When you’ve been crawled up
In the corner, tucking your knees in
To feel the dying flesh
Of your past pressed tight
...restless days fold into restless nights...
I reset my mind to unwind.
counting sheep seldom works for me.
recalling our memories,
my personal bedtime lullabies,
Forever seems to do the trick.
When you find yourself
sitting in the sun,
a light, unbothering wind upon your thoughts,
escaping into the air through your
contended expression,
Tell me, have you ever had to lie?
Have you ever had to cry?
Have you ever fought for approval of your peers?
Have you ever tried to fight your fears?
If you have, it’s okay. I will catch your tears.
It's 3am and you're feeling cold
Why not a bath?
Yes, but it won't last forever.
Well... At least it will for a moment.
My blood
has turned into Jack Daniels.
Strange men take a ticket
to the three-ring circus.
The room has graffiti-
covered walls
and only one mattress
smelling of cheap perfume and latex.
My only friend at this point seems to be a simple journal I write on every night. I will finish my last page today as a goodbye to my existence:
Dear Friend,
Jaw clenched, eyes shut, trapped in this nightmare
that’s very much my reality.
Everything that’s mine is no longer for me,
everything I want is far out of reach.
In my sleep, I dream of my every anxiety,
Coming to an end
No drama to be found
Solely disappointment
What could be and what was
Nothing but a large fuzz
A cloud, a wall, a veil
Sad, but true
Not one thing to misconstrue
If I’d rather watch
Will I ever rather roam?
If I’d rather dwell on futures
Will there ever be just one?
If I never talk about it
Will they leave me here alone?
If I never
Is rather a choice?
The staircase is spiraling
Down, down, below
Back to the first floor
Where time moves so slow.
Back up I must climb
To where I was before
And continue on
To the heights I may soar.
Your body is just one piece of architecture.
Legs are the stairways to strength, willpower.
Arms the branches to sensitivity, care.
Inhale...exhale.
And then there's nothing.
That same nothing that lies
within our awkward silences.
That same nothing that keeps our defenses up.
The same nothing that was there
For every hero there is a villain,
There is a win in ever lost,
Just as the poor and rich are binned by thought,
One has to fall,
For another's strive,
Often conflicted by truth,
Deceived by lies,
Have you ever just sat in a nice, quiet place
And thought about random things?
Like if you can eat in Heaven
Or when do the people who work on holidays
get a break?
How about why you're so emotional
This morning I died.
Earth abruptly ceased, carrying me to my end.
Solace of the pomegranate
Scented air captured me completely.
The dime-sized wound trickled
A crimson essence so pure it must be heaven.
Why did I feel that my presence was an abomination
and that a cut on my wrist should be my only physical sensation?
That at the drop of blood all my anguish would disappear,
I look around and everywhere I see,
Happy couples looking back at me
Why cant I be happy as they seem to be
Instead I have to put on a fake smile for everyone to see,
And believe that there is nothing wrong with me
Eyes speak no lies,
unlike the lips in falsely
upturned lines
curved like spiders
weaving truth out
of a script from the
mind; it lies
Those eyes reveal sadness
You said it, therefore it must be true.
Yes, every word you speak is law.
Why should anyone have room to doubt you?
You, who beleives everything the bias media tells you.
Hey im the soul man; the inside man.
Feeling every emotion,
every mood swing.
I can't help that everyone wants to get me high off of that good stuff,
Weed is what they call it.
as the sun rises,
fiery cracks on the moonlit sky
the cold breath of morning is washed away
leaving the sweet silhouette of stars to fade
Today we can live
Yesterday we've survived
Tomorrow will never cry
The days of our lives
We can do whatever.
Till one of us die
Then we all
Cry
it looks in my eyes
pleading me to use em but I tell him no I refuse but he knows my words were all lies
I can't find myself to take any steps away so I join him seeing his effects
so much from a small object
Our backs were bent ‘til we were walking
on the knuckles of our souls
The trees were drinking angels’ tears
in the deserts where they grow
And the only time my heart was shaken
was when I threw it to the wind
I can't take what's happening these days,
people coming up with strange ways
to do things.
Can't find the right phrase,
it's like I'm in a race
inside this trapped maze,
life?
Such a big chase,
The words are in my head
But not on paper in ink.
Forming oh so slowly,
It makes it hard to think.
I grab a piece of paper,
The pen is in my hand,
But why I am not writing,
I just can’t understand.
corrosive, destructive, unhelpful Thing
They eat each other.
mutilated and abused They come to me.
out of a wood chipper They crawl.
crooked, unaligned and pointed in the wrong direction.
(poems go here)
why do you so desperately seek attention?
I just want to gather you all for an intervention
It's a problem--- Epidemic
Do you see through my normal eyes to the sadness that lies within
Do you see my unholy spirit that always chooses to sin?
It doesn’t take much to say that you are ugly,
That you are flawed,
A monster that no one can love.
It takes a little more to agree with people who disagree,
To just nod and follow,
Trying too hard, she knows.
Promises made to self are broken
she holds herself together inside
her heart beats slow, distant.
They're all lies.
But is the truth any better?
Keep quiet,
Censored.
It’s just ignorance and fear; she says.
Well I’m afraid of a lot of things,
Tornadoes,
Spiders,
Escalators,
You don’t see me limiting them.
Am I powerful?
What is comparable to inevitable??
If the lyrics don't intertwine, then the meaning is forgotten.
How do we proceed to the next level when we keep falling?
The stairs are right before us but the world is calling,..
Wisp of words
Enter my ear
Slowly tracing the canal
To the brain inside
Once there
Word particles settle
Then go about
Bouncing off one another
i wanna live out this life in the nitty gritty. real, live, life. full of blood and sweat and dirt and clean, fresh air, and mud and grass. cause i want to break out of this old skin and fly with the seagulls in parking lots.
Thoughts are feelings in your mind, conjured by emotions and reactions you feel inside.
No wait.
Thoughts are voices in your head that you keep from having a sound from your mouth
No wait
When the body dies, where do the thoughts go?
Dreams stay just dreams?
Do lost ambitions remain what could have been?
Are the emotions once so drastic simply just pretend?
