It weighs heavy 

Upon these restless shoulders

Am I trying to live my life?

Or live the dream they sold us?

Am I following my own path?

A winner in a one man race

Everyone keeps telling me 

I'm heading in the right direction

But I feel like I've just been standing in the same place

I can feel the rhythm of my heart 

Beat slow and beat fast 

Trying to get my head out of the gutter

And get it out of the past

 

My head it badly aches

In the center of my cerebrum

So many thoughts inside my head

Do I ignore or I do I keep them?

Focusing on all the people

Disconnected from other people

Walking around on their devices

Rather than focusing on what is see'able

We have so many doors to open 

Open your mind, cause that's the keyhole 

 

I'm not lost, I am not lonely 

I am not mad nor am I sad

I'm just trying to figure out this game called life

 

You can't ask me to make a picture with puzzle pieces that don't match 

 

You can't ask me to draw a painting if I do not have a canvas 

 

I don't want to live a life that was manufactured for people LIKE me. I want to live the life that was destined for ME.

 

I feel like I am drowning in an ocean and I keep sinking to the bottom.

 

Sometimes I feel like if God had plans for me, than he must have just forgot 'em.

 

Did we not learn this as infants? As we were playing with our toys? 

 

You cannot fit a square into a circle!

 

My neck it is sore

Because these thoughts

They weigh me down

 

My stomach turns with the sickness of conformity 

 

My mind it is racing 

On a track with no finish 

Thoughts spin round and round

And I never get any answers

Cause I can't put my thoughts into words 

I can't express the ramble that is my brain into the English language 

I can't focus on one thing 

 

For as soon as I do...

 

I stop and I think of you

 

...

 

No no no

 

This is not a love poem

 

This is a where am I? And what have I done poem

This is a who am I? And where do I go poem

 

This is a poem for the lost ones

A poem for all the sleepers

A poem for the top guns

And a poem for the thinkers

 

I am trying to define me and turn in my loose change 

I am trying to see inside me and understand my brain.

 

This poem is like a hurricane

This poem is my story 

This poem is all my losses

And all of my great glory 

 

This poem is all over the place and it probably makes no sense 

This poem might freak you out and think about what I just said 

 

But all that I am trying to do is get these thoughts out of my head.

 

Can't get these thoughts... Out of my head