Who Do I Want To Be?


Who do I want to be? 
A very complicated question.
First, I suppose,I want to be a girl that's not lost in her own sea
One that isn't conflicted with self repression
I want to be one filled with laughter 
Because at heart that's who I am
A girl that will always feel natural with a smile on her face hereafter 
One who doesn't shut off with a slam
Of the door that is her heart 
One who understands herself 
And doesn't constantly tear herself apart
One who doesn't put her feelings on a shelf
A girl who isn't afraid of mirrors
A woman who can stand strong 
One who isn't on a constant quest to be thinner
A woman who can stand apart from the throng 
I want to be able to listen to my desires
To not cast my heart aside every time someone else is present 
I don't want to burn in my monster's fires
The me I want to be will have no monsters to resent 
She will use her past to help others
And she will have no regrets 
Her heart no longer withers
And her palms no longer sweat
When she wants to speak her mind
And when someone is toxic in her life 
She'll have the strength and courage to leave them behind
She won't convince herself to live with strife
Because she'll finally know she deserves more than that
The me I want to be will know her worth
 She will feel at home with where she's at
She will be close again to the one who created the Earth 
She will feel His love 
She will spread it to those around
That woman will always be looking above
And beyond to the future that will cause a joyful sound
To ring through her ears 
She will no longer be afraid of her own thoughts
And for once she won't have to see her life through a veil of tears
The woman I want to be will not be able to be bought 
With silken lies that serpents tell 
She will find who she is 
And rise above the time when she fell
She won't have to be a "his"
She will no longer dread the silence 
Or the pain that being alone brings 
She will have self-reliance 
And within her soul truth will ring
The me I want to be will no longer let herself be mistreated 
She will accept herself entirely 
Because the me I want to be will be completed.


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