The numbness is growing,

Or is it sadness instead,

That will plague me until death.

I feel so alone in this world

Where my darkness descends.

I feel forgotten  by my memories

Of better days of innocence.

I feel abandoned by friend of old

When we promised we'd always be there.

I feel lost to my purpose,

As I feel useless at my age and time.

I feel more dead than alive,

As I search for pride.

What you see is a mere glimpse of the past,

As I wear myself as a mask.

The confidence and pride,

A simple thing to distract

From the true thoughts at hand.

'What if you're wrong?

What do they really think?

You're a freak.

You're worthless to them.

You are simply a tool.

They don't really care?

Are you still there?'

In my mind I argue,

In my mind I cry.

But out here my eyes are dry,

And I laugh at the sky.

I want the numbness to leave.

I want the sadness to disappear.

I want the hate to stop.

I want to be enough.

I want to be confident.

I want to feel beautiful.

I want to love myself.

I want to survive if nothing else.