I can't tell the difference between my dreams and reality anymore 

Everyday I wake up and yet I'm never really here 

I find myself living within the parallels of a world that loved me unconditionally 

That didn't want ot let me go 

So much so that it delayed my plane for 5 hours 

So much so that even now I catch myself saying 

"Be grand" 

When all I want to do is cry 

But that won't resolve anything

Because really 

I'm asleep 

Because this whole thing is "inception" 

And its a dream within a dream 

Because why woudl I come back to this? 

To feeling lost

Incomplete

Hopeless 

Like I don't fit in

But maybe that's the point 

Perhaps I'm not done here yet 

Maybe I just needed to grow up enough 

TO see what I have to do 

To change the things that are wrong 

To help those that fee like me 

To let them know it WILL be grand

To learn that he world is bigger than me 

That every voice matters 

And that there is a welcoming place for me 

Waiting

Loving 

Because yes, 

I am a city girl 

But the Emerald Isle has my heart 

And I'm counting down the days until we can be reunited 

But until then 

I have work to do 

To make this world that I inhabit more habitable for the next person 

So that they never have to feel like me 

So that they can be happy in their own skin 

So for now 

I have to find a way 

To tell myself 

HEY

Wake up.