is it a heaviness? do you feel like you can't breathe? like honestly there is nothing much keeping you alive and you don't know why. it is just a sadness that goes into your bones and makes it hard to get up in the morning. like maybe things had meaning before but that meaning got pushed into the stars or collapsed near the moon or maybe it is stuck out in space somewhere and you don't know how to reach it. you don't know when you'll feel okay again? do you feel like your highs are too high and your lows are too low. it is too fucking much and you can't take any of it? i don't know. i don't know any of what you're feeling and i am not even going to try to begin to understand it. sometimes you just need to keep secrets within yourself and hide away moments you aren't proud of. hole yourself up in your house and try to remember that your ribs aren't broken and that you can breathe normally it just hurts because you have empty space that needs to be filled. life is life and it is good but when it is bad it gets too bad. i don't fucking know any of it and i don't want to. sometimes you have to keep things to yourself so other people can have chances to live and laugh and be alive without your interferences.