That Day


The light flashes. Blinks, constantly, in the dark room. My room.
I can't sleep. I can't concentrate. I'm lost, but yet know exactly where I am.
I can feel my bed, my wall. But yet I feel so lost. I don't know where I should be. I don't know where I'm going. Where am I going?

It seems like everywhere I look is a glimpse of... Of victory. But it's not my victory. It's others' victories, as I see my defeat.
My music. My music rings through my earbuds. But all I hear are thuds. It's white noise. I try to concentrate. But on what? Nothing. All seems lost. Distant.

Girls. Love. They're a struggle.  My struggle. My heart is like... I don't even know. It's meaningless. It can beat. It can feel. But on those nights, all it feels is pain. It longs. But is lost.
Why? Why!? Why.
No one knows. No one knows but me. Or do I. 

Thoughts. Thoughts are like the wind. They come. They shake. They irritate. And then they leave. But it keeps coming back. Sometimes stronger. Even more irritating than before. More painful. Painful to the heart. Ever increasing pain. Until! Until.

Other thoughts. Thoughts of memories. Thoughts of future.  Dreams. 

A path is being created. Created for me. It's a journey. It may be the most heart breaking journey ever, but I will make the most of it. When one door closes, another door opens.

One day. Some day! There will be no more pain. No more suffering! I live for that day.


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