This feeling sining into my chest

It feels as though someone has cut me open and poured in hardening cement

I don't even know what is running through my brain

I suppose now, I have really gone insane 

I cannot tell if I have just overeaten

I want to fastforward, end this, just run away

 

I do not know what I am doing

I do not know what to eat

So, I think of the things I could have done

where I went wrong, before I fall to sleep

 

But when I dream, I am not dreaming

 am haunted by fear and anxiety 

However, 

I have grown to live to dream

I love something brand new happening

Afterall, 

My life is on repeat

 

People pretend positivity is an easy task

But I cannot sort out the thoughts in my mind

like the constellations in the sky

It is too much to save, 

because my brain works too fast for my mouth to say

that my body is a cage

 

So I do not speak

And I am condemned in silence

trapped in my stream

of conscienceness

 

How long could I go on? 

I could use all of the paper in the world

But I keep my thoughts locked safe away

I guess,  

for a better cause