i never had your heart, you never placed it in my hands.

but i just want you to know that i could handle it.

not that you'd ever decide i'm strong enough to, but just in case you ever wondered.

i carried small universes inside me and when you would reach out to touch me or even if it was an accident.

they would collapse, cease to exist.

i can carry burning cities in my lungs and smoke red wine flavored cigars.

i tried

so hard

to be someone you would love and now i look back and i can't remember what that girl looked like.

i'm sorry you're in pain.

but now i am drowning and i've learned that you have to save yourself sometimes.

so i hope you wear a bulletproof vest and get through this day

and the next and the next and the next.

i was never enough for you,

darling i don't think i want to be.