slam behind the curtain
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The moonlight rises,
Illuminating my creativity.
I gain a new breath of life,
To foster my productivity.
I shuffle through my cards,
Looking for a solution,
Until I finally achieve,
I’m born from a line of women that
are warriors—silent in strength,
brave by heart. I stretch myself
sometimes too far to help
others, but I love
helping those I
love, and those
I don’t
So, who am I and why am I here?
That is a question I hold so near.
One question I don’t know the answer,
Gnawing away at me like cancer.
what is life?
life is full of meaning yet we feel empty
only we can change what we want
it can feel empty, or be full
it is what you make of it
I start out on the surface, wading in the waves of life, just going with the flow. Everything is at ease. But sometimes life can get rough. The waves get bigger and become scary, they start to crash over me, leaving me gasping for air.
SLAM
My door hit the door frame
Parents are ashamed of me
I have no friends
and I am alone
But I am alive
6 a.m. gets me out of bed.
The hum of a new day rushing through my veins,
exciting me to my core,
that gets me out of bed.
7:30 a.m. My mother's soft laughter
and my father's tender hugs,
Tick tock on the clockHow I kept that person under lock?The one that was happy, the one that was saneNow a sheep under the claimOf the ass hatThat annoying twatTick tock on the clockWho have I become?Where is my body, where is my voice?Where are m
On a page I can't find there's life beyond death.
On a page I can't find there's room for my mess.
On a page I can't find there's peace beyond pain.
On a page I can't find there's sunshine in rain.
The journey is yet to begin and there is more to love
about the uncertainty of knowledge. The interest of the
mind lies within the certainty of uncertainty and this questions
A fairly bright screen proposed to me a question I’ve asked myself for days,
“Who Is the True You” it said, and I thought with a starry eyed gaze.
When given proper thought I don’t really know my place.
the true me,
the true me is lonely, like a woman returing to a home that is abandoned
the true me is gentle, like a butterfly that kisses your nose.
the true me is sweet, like chocolate in a smores,
The feeling makes you shy to talk, But your curiosity stops you from clenching your teeth, The feeling causes you anger, The words cause you to be distracted throughout the day, The mind leaves you in a state of confusion, From all the words in
i am from basketball from yelling coaches and sweat filled jerseys I am from the hard working blocks decent houses, expensive cars, polluted airI am from the giant trees the smell of new cut grass on the sidewalks I am from large christma
the real me
i don't seek jealosuy
but it comes to me
i hate that it comes even with those that i care
it might be my hair
or the fact that
when i look in the mirror
Looking at myself in the mirror,
I'm reminded of the time
The time I tried to dye my brother's hair.
Burning my eyes,
dripping,
There were dye stains on his forehead.
Mischief is in our world
Each and every way you turn
Torn, tattered and furled
Our morals have surely burned
We close our eyes to reality
People body shame people.
Why do they do it?
Do they have other things to be worried about?
This world is full of mindless delinquents
A man covered in writing
Stands.
What do these words mean?
Like the plague
They spread.
Soon his whole face
Is completely black.
Like death's shadow,
Darkness creeps over
His flesh.
I find myself to never regret For which I know that I must never forget My life about me is sometimes bright and always moving forward And when it gets dark I take one step backward These choices I make are changing my life But sometimes these com
In my dream my name was “thought.”
I occupied the space of all at once.
I was the sky on a clear day, as I stretched for miles and enveloped the space they occupied.
There was once an angel who held my hand,She wiped away my tears and helped me understand.Our time on earth is quick, there's always a lesson to be learned,Each precious day God gives us another trial.
I look into the mirror
and what do I see?
I see, this girl staring
this girl staring back at me.
She’s strong and protective,
but can be shy and quiet,
and also quite normal.
I am made of passion and dreams and butterfly kisses.
My heart has been put together with pursued dreams.
Unfulfilled plans.
And everything in between.
Confused was I, looking up and down from the news report in my hand,
which seemed to be sourly misinformed about the color of the Mexican spirit.
Missing was the look of distant gazes, robbed of soul and spirit by the
I look at myself in a mirrorRepeating my name to my reflectionMany days I find myself staring,But I often only see what once was me.
Straight out of the autumn rain blood covered leaves spring the chalk outline of our brown sons
Falling stars grace the earth
A little angel broken and wings torn
She looks and frowns but moves on
Head held high as she crosses the earth
Now sun shines bright no cloud in the sky
I am Nothing.
Feeling worthless inside
Feeling alone and isolated
Unloved and unappreciated
I want to be heard
I do what I can to be seen
Backfire and backstabbed
Imagine looking into a box full of crayons, all of the identical color. Your vision is permeated with intense, fiery, red crayons except for one.
Even though tainted by the world like a smokers lungs
Our mind yet retains a small fickle light
That light is multifariousness such as flowers in the Keukenh garden
Time will pass
Our light will fade
Slam Behind the Curtain
That's what I hear everyone say
Don't speak out, be afraid
For you're being judged today
Everywhere I turn, everywhere I go
Who is my friend today
Who am I to know?
Lost......
i was lost
lost alone in the world, no where to go
i looked everywhere and searched for everything
i quit
i gave up
I got so sick of trying
trying to be good enough
I have a few things left that I need to let go. The scar tissue tells the story that I haven't told. I didn't know it was human trafficking. Picked us up dropped us off, motivated us to sell their magazine's.
all of my life, i heard shh, no, shh
why is no easier to say for you than it was for me
?
i grew up with people telling me "shh"
The tumor is here
The tumor is there
There will be pain
Coursing threw your vain
Don’t give in
Because there are two ends
Cold, dark and miserable
Was told it was part of being a criminal
But why title me that?
It's not like you know all the facts
True I don't know how to act
But at least I stay true to my colors
The real me is a bit hard to explain,
I'm sad when I'm alone
Yet happy when with others.
When I'm in pain
I hide it all. I am hard, like a stone,
But too soft for my brothers...
I feel that maybe seein' you go was a wakeup call.
A wakeup call to reality.
That grownups sometimes have no choice even if they get down on their knees.
I am everything I could ever ask
When time flits away my inner beauty thrives
Guiding me to the infinite fountains
So who is the man in the mirror?
The real one- you know? The one behind the filter
hidden away, disquised
because no matter how hard he tries...
There is something different--
I am a beloved daughter of God
A light in this world of darkness that surrounds me
A friend to those around me
I am a girl with the deserve to impact the world around me
Sometimes, my teeth seem slightly rotten with a honey residue considering, weekends I forget to brush,
Or how my hair waves in this condescending way when I clinch my fist together.
We look for sleep but it doesn’t come, at least not pleasantly. The neurons firing in our brains only produce the fears, the fears we most desperately want to forget.
1 I was born into the unknown,
Inheriting a gene few familiars have shown.
2 But why was it a problem? No one knew.
My peers knew not, I knew not.
Play in oblivion, all youth do.
Slam.
Mommy is lying on the ground. Daddy threw her there; I saw it from behind
The wooden banister which I wrapped my stuffed snake around
Only three hours before.
The color orange is exciting yet composed.
Still, a lack of admiration from those opposed.
They say Grendel was a demon, born from the line of Cain.
They say he was riddled by malice and impregnated with sin.
But I think he's a part that lives in us all,
You see that girl,
Do you truly see?
She's been fighting,
It's an internal struggle.
She understands if you ignore,
But don't be decieved.
Like a mirror at a carnival,
She torn up in sorts.
The time to express myself.
It comes and goes over time.
Just like when the sun sets and it does'nt show itself.
The dark takes over and I cover myself with mud and slime.
Outside in the dark,
To many it may seem like I’m someone who will go far.
Someone who is going to change the world,
Someone who goes to school, and is the overachiever in and out of class.
My personality and voice were white.
Of course, these descriptors were perfectly right.
My physiognomy and intelligence were Asian.
What are we as humans?
Are we just people with amazing discoveries and ideas?
Are we just idealistic and logictic people?
Are we the one that we wanted to become?
If so, what am i ?
Well, you could say I’ve created this image of myself
fragile and wavering, shaking and unsure
I walk to the grocery store, self-conscious with my hands in my pockets.
I try not to look at the sun too long.
I've lived most of my life behind a curtain.
Those tender, shaky
Seconds just before a performance,
Auditoriums and microphones are a part of me.
But when I was younger,
They only meant singing and
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”It is almost a cruel question to ask a young person who is so hopeful and uncertain
We live fast, racing here and there;
quickly bolting through this dream.
What are we living for?
Where is our end?
Don't forget to look around,
stop. Just for a moment,
think. Love. Dream.
An extraneous hope for merciful redemption
These queer mice lurking behind harrowed shelves
Rapidly engage between bones crackling beneath the hands of lost worship;
There are many parts to me
Stereotyes
Characterisics
Looks
I feel at each deserves a place in my heart
For I would not be me without it
As each misshapen bit
You spoke to me of a telltale dream
Where the life we know isn’t what it seems
We are shrouded by a comfortable darkness
But cannot see that it masks innocent carcasses
I have many a friend,
I will follow them to the end.
But do they actually see me
And who I want to be?
There is a man behind the curtain,
In that I am certain.
I hide behind my masks,
'Who are you?'
Could you answer if asked?
What would you say,
If you are living a life that is masked?
Would you force on a smile,
And tell a pretty lie?
Or would you break,
To outsiders I’m just a simple, plain wallflower.
But if you look a little closer, beyond the closed off petals
you’ll see that each petal tells a story with a little bit more power.
I wish they'd pay attention
to the girl behind the curtain.
The sleeping lion, overlooked
because the monkey does the tricks.
I know she wants to come out
But I'm nervous, and hold her in.
When you first asked for my name
The first thing that comes to mind is the number of times I will lie to you
How many times do I have to sequester behind these curtains with the fear of you judging me
"You are such a bad liar
(it's true)
and oh, you never cry!"
(why would I?)
for my reputation could never handle
the admission of emotions.
That hits too close to home, you see,
Humans all participate in a simple task.
It makes society easier, if we all wear a mask.
Everyone possesing secerets, stories we choose to disguise.
All carrying a fake persona, so they'll believe our lies.
what do people see when they see me?
do they see a boy struggling to be?
or do they see a man being what everyone desires to be?
do they see a boy working as hard as possible to get his way?
I laugh
For a young woman who cries is known to be a coward
I smile
For a young woman who frowns is helplessly depressed
I study
Through his life in good and strife
A mask did he wear.
On face a grin, but not within
And smirk he did not dare.
On a whim, this boy so grim,
Soon to be a knight.
I. When I speak, I stumble over sentences.
Like words are so uncomfortable in my mouth,
That they fall haphazardly into the world.
II. My hair is a wreck, and my eyes are like winter.
I sailed the seven seas and rode the rough tides,
When I made landfall, I came, I saw, I conquered.
This epic tale will travel far and wide,
but alas there are secrets yet to be uncovered.
These hands of mine
Have collected the tears succeeding a painful tease
Fallen victim to a panic-induced squeeze Enfolded my weary, bruised knees.
But still continue to dance by my soul with ease.
You look at me and think I'm fine, confident and loving life,
Unaffected by your exclusion.
If only you could see
The tears I have cried at night
The knives I feel in my heart and back.
THE SADNESS OF A CAN
(no liquid only jelly stuck to the bottom)
The sadness of a can
Smile..
It's just a mask
Laugh...
Another mask
Calm...
Thats just my face
So much built up animosity, I dont know where it goes
(Based on a dream I once had)
Darkness, sustained darkness. Silence at first as well, but that doesn't last as long.
Truth be told abot me
Things you coul never dream to know
Wind is a trusty treasure that makes me feel free
Heads turn at the sound of young black woman’s heels clicking the cold parochial floors,
The ruthless power of her stride swings open solid cross laden wooden doors.
Tugging, pulling at the curtain
Waiting to come out.
Waiting for someone to push me. I’m certain
People see her as a Greek piece of theatre
Never showing her true identity
Always hiding behind a mask
She goes along telling my story
But reality never comes out
At home, a different mask is put on
The newest shoes, anything observers can idealize and see
You are not measured by what they say you should be
We do not have to keep following media's image, instead come talk to me
People can label me. Best Leader. Class Favorite. You name it. However, that's not all I am. I'm not just a label, or another number. I'm human. I want most of the same things that everyone else wants.
A solemn tribute to Society,
traveling in silence,
avoiding gazes, conflict.
Curtain of Camouflage.
Misinterpretation leads a nation,
deceit grows infectious,
killing souls day by day.
The mask I exhibit is that of
Any other high school senior
Blended into the background;
Hidden amongst other faces.
A flag twirler in the marching band,
A member of Chem Club;
May I obtain an epiphany of self-pursuit?
Cease the persuasion of pointed fingers and demanding mouths,
Consume the obtained knowledge of the stacking years,
Sitting in the back of a ripped up Caddy
Everybody in the front laughing with me
Sipping liquer poured half out nobody looking
Soulful but would rather be social
Acting like they know me
I am so tired of all the voices that I hearTheir catchy sayings attempt to mold me into an average teenI will be the rebel that is expected by defying mainstream culture
"I like the color blue and I like to read," I say.
They do not know it is the somber,
I'm scared and my heart races faster than a speeding horse but it would be too uncool to not do it.
I smile hoping no one can tell I was afraid or that it hurt.
i. At six I knew there was something wrong.
There were thoughts that swirled around my mind,
Sinuous snakes that slithered and curled in forgotten crevices,
I only allow people to see finished products.
They don't understand the insanity.
They don't understand the process. Creativity has been linked to schizophrenia.
It's how we process thoughts.
Fresco painting fake faces onto my own
I
Cover my true self with layers of plastered
Self-consciousness
I want to be free
I want to
Peel back every
Doubt I’ve had on
Why my face
What am I?
A monster
I tried to tell them,
"Stay away!
I can't control
the monster."
The demons can find
the monster.
Entering high school,
the stereotypical high school jock,
sole focus to be the best on the team and win over the hearts of girls.
Not truly understanding myself,
following my father's basketball dreams,
Everyone knows about first impressions
They are what determine whether you matter to them
Or just someone they will take up their time with
To create the next bit of gossip
Being abstract is not bad.
You don't want to like everyone else.
Being creativity and rare is beautiful.
This world embracres everyones beauty but, tends to forget their own.
We hide behind smoke and mirrors.
Forced by our thoughts and fears,
That others might feel disappointed by what they see.
Curtains become our friends.
The only ones on whom we depend.
The real me isn't all that pretty,
it isn't something someone
would want to see,
That smart young girl
who seems to have everything figured out
with a bright future ahead
yet if you looked deep enough
you will find
that everything is broken
Those kind eyes holds pain
This is not a mask but a shell.
A formulated architecture
Based on
Observations
Standards
Expectations
I am not my mask, my shell
Who is the interior
He is
Numb
Shy girl, heart on her sleeve, with a necessity for independence and to be outspoken. Typical.
It’s not about the voices you hear
That makes you hide
Or the room full of masks
To keep you in disguise
Excited & In Love With Christmas
By~ Vannessa Peters
I am excited & in love with Christmas.
If I talk like this,
Can I walk like that?
Would it be okay?
How would I be perceived?
Or can you be deceived?
Stereotypes surround me.
I think I have found me
Life progresses with human reaction
What you say now, what you do now
How you say it, how you mean it
‘You must be a role model for your generation’
Become poise incarnate
Step, breathe in, step, step, step, breathe out.
Don't forget to smile.
If it slips for even a moment, you suddenly transform into this perceived monster of unpleasant, dishonest and ungracious tendencies.
How dare you.
I do not want them to know
How I am just an empty vessel
My life has been so dull
Ever since I let him go
I was supposed to be my father’s hero
But I failed him, my negligence unforgivable
The pressure to meet the mark of a standard that is ever heighteningAnd never compromisingIs seemingly an everlasting presence that can either be disregardedOr
This curtain is one of
Carefully painted black lines
Swiped across eyelids.
This curtain is one of
Carefully handled curls
Dried in the wind out the car window.
This curtain is one of
I hide behind an armor of confidence.
It shines its' silver on the eyes of anyone who sees it.
It seems strong,
It seems bold,
It seems unbreakable,
But this armor breaks away.
In the public eye, I am happy, joyous, full of personality,
In my bedroom, I am sad, depressed, full of sorrow,
It's not that uncommon to see on the screen,On movies, in books, and in everyday scenes,The portrait, the painting, the one-sided standard.The model of virtue that's held to regard,
The greatest lie I’ve learn to tell
Is of the facade that I try to sell.
By chance or happenstance, I’ll let you decide,
Why behind a mask I feel I must hide.
Hard to describe our world as great,
My head is hurting, so is my chest
I rush I choke to say what’s best
Enough about me, what about you?
It feels like cardiac arrest.
My heart is aching, eyes are stinging
Fingers tingle, ears are ringing
I am pure.
I am true,
but I'm not everything you thought you knew.
Hiding behind the curtain,
is a nervous, ambitious woman.
Many tell me I can't do it.
I feel like no one will listen.
Life is like a roller coaster--Psh, that's so cliche.If you really think about itLife does take you on a wild ride
To hold the curtain,
to clench it with my hand
every stich meant to be missed
curtains on a window
curtains on a stage
curtains in a hospital room to seperate the pains
some to hide the shame,
Painted across a thin veil
That hangs lightly in front of me
Is a girl who smiles,
And enjoys sports.
She laughs at the right times,
And thinks that people singing loudly is annoying.
All is empty
then there's war
you see first, a ring
soon a kingdom.
Train your eyes
to become super
yet simplicity
can do it all.
My mother earth gave me my shadow.
Her heart relished
in thieving light out of my body
the way that dusk takes wrinkled hands
and a sewing needle to stitch
the sun into the seam of the horizon.
In the corner, I sit, backstage,
small and scared of the world around me.
I don't want to move, for fear that
I will go far, far away and
never come back.
I want no one to look at me
she is blue electric music.
she is cocktails and bright neon lights and classic cars and pastel smeared colored flowers.
I am from woods
Behind the house and around the school
With people sometimes but mostly in solitude.
I am from fantasy
Tomes, stories, and tales
You Say, I Say
You say I should be the perfect
I say, I am trying
You say don’t make any mistakes on the field
I say, I am trying
Are we really glorified by the outcome?
Are we paying the wages of a sin or an ideology?
It is shaming us into silence.
A two-face lie with another side.
when i see myself the way everyone else sees me
i am walking down the hallway
smiling at everyone who passes;
One-two and tick-tock
Ribbons and lace tied up in a knot
Like the one in my stomach, the one in my throat
The one in my head that hangs from a rope
Give me your hand, tie it up with strings
We put our front to shield ourselves from the monsters on the outside
Worried about getting hurt again.
My past is filled with despair and depression,
And no one needs to row back there.
I am.
I am not.
I am not to
I am not to be
I am not to be defined.
No one.
No one can.
No one can place
No one can place me.
I am the...
Night before the breaking dawn....
it gets so confusingtrying to figure out who you areas you're force fed spoonfuls of stereotypesat such a young age
and are isolated because we are different
when people realize it.
It's hard to see from the outside looking in
What really makes a person tick.
A girl standing at the end of the hallway
Talking to her friends
Looks relaxed and unafraid,
I walk on the stage beginning to shake,
Adrenaline pumping through my veins.
The lights above so hot my skin could bake,
Anticipation takes over my brain.
My cast mates around me seem like a blur,
Melancholy and gray, blank and boring,
A new room in a new house.
It is a strange place,
Filled with strange people.
A deserted island upon which,
He alone resides.
Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain,
That quiet one, over there.
For she is something unusual,
Something you should beware.
Pay no attention to the girl who hides
Here's to the quiet girl
who no one understood
they called her incapable
they said she was no good
so, she set herself on a mission
to be an actress and a star
where she could show the world
Just because I act the way I act
Doesn't mean I really feel it on the inside
Life is an act, a play, a show
Having the bumpy adventures of a roller coaster ride.
Someone once told me that if our heart says it
Underneath the flesh
Beyond the superficial things
Trying to past the test
That society often brings
Whats a person to do
Underneath so much pressure
Trying to make it through
He opens his eyes and looks at his reflection in the mirror
He is lost,He is confused,He questions… Who am I?
The answer is not one that is simple,But could be clarified with explanation
The mask I wear exudes strength.
Confidence. Independence.
I portray myself as a well-rounded girl,
One who gets good grades, plays multiple sports,
holds positions in various clubs.
I know my secret self,
Do you know that self?
It is different than my ordinary primary self.
That self is hidden “behind the curtain”.
Hidden, hidden.
I know my secret self,
I am from pastels,
from finger paint and crayons.
I am from the dust that settles under a marimba’s wooden keys
(Grey, fine
powdery enough to make one sneeze)
I am from the orchid,
Since the very first day I lived,
I looked out at everyone.
Each man focussed on his sin,
simply correcting what he had done.
Darkness falling on their souls,
concentrating on their wrong,
I have not even seen it since I banished it
The real you
"Banished it for what?"
For family, of course
The very people who exist to hide you
Every morning when I go to school, I put on a mask.
A mask of "I'm fine"s and contrived smiles.
I don't tell them about the doctors appointments,
the counseling, the hours spent staring at a wall.
They don't care.
Expectations
a cage of too much potential
making my perceived achievements and resultant pride essential
Can I let go?
or does my satisfaction and ego hold me back?
My mother time is ticking,
Her time is running out,
The moment my life will change forever,
The sorrow and pain that will last forever.
Eighteen years of backstage passes
Sleepless nights spent looking after the home
Faked smiles while out,
bottled tears while alone
On my soul lies a curse
It is an evil few can grasp
Granted me with a personality bright as molten gold
Smile.
Don’t let them in,
don’t let them see,
keep them all at arms’ length.
Perfect.
You
Must
Be
Perfect.
We live in a society
where hating ourselves
People say it’s like burning, but all I get is the ache.Dull and stabbing constant and ebbing etched into my Self in pricklingthrobs.
Yes I have the blonde hair
Yes I have the soft brown eyes
Yes I have the slim figure that doesn’t grow
Everything is checked off on the list
Ever since my first breath I have always been different
In the eyes of others that is.
Bullied so ruthlessly I had to change schools.
Body still, lips are mute
Blankness in my eyes;
I pass the days
With hope that stays
Living through disguise.
But presents are best when hidden
Among the unexpected;
My life started out great,
My childhood has been glorified by playful memories,
Visual symphonies,
Playing behind closed eyes,
Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t all lies,
Honestly my mother tried,
Walk through the door and I hold my head high,
Never will they hear my defeated sigh.
Walk a little straighter, come on be a little stronger,
Stand a bit taller, you can hold on a little longer.
Don't be fooled by the persona I display;
I'm a glorious actress each and every day.
My vast array of masks harbors my broken soul,
sheltering a heart that was never quite whole.
Everyone has different masksfor whoever they're aroundSome try to be the prepor the rediculed class clown
I remember the first day of schoolHow I clung to my dad’s armNot caring whether I looked like a foolCause I thought, as long as my dad stood by my sideI would be safe
The bro’s don’t know.
That what is within the man is not without.
That the truth of oneself does not play out.
The bro’s don’t know.
That the late night parties do not fulfill.
From a tender age we are told
Whether it be by a parent, teacher or other mentor
“Be yourself”
Like it’s the simplest thing in the world
But even if it should be
It’s not
Normality: a fleeting illusion. The ones we befriend, on whom our sanity depends, hide behind a joyful facade.
I am an immigrant
Or so they tell me.
I don’t feel different,
Like an alien.
Yet I am an outsider
Looking in.
I am afraid to do anything
Apply anywhere
For fear of rejection.
I promised not to show weakness
I promised not to let them in
I promised not to tell my secrets
I promised not to care
I broke that promise because of you, in that moment I fell for you
When you ignore me you're only hurting me more
Life's a journey and there's so much to explore
Take me as I am or watch me walk out another door
Not for you but for me I'm doing this for
Every person is clothed in beautiful, colorful fabrics,
But is it their true value that shows
When they dance to the tune that society chose?
I hide behind my mask as the time ticks.
Some call hidding ones true self a mask
but reality is not that simple
"mask" is just an icon, a symbol
removing it a futile task
truth becomes cloudy like frosted glass flask
The outside is built
of sturdy wood with a door
with corners on a tilt
and windows that adorn.
She walks with confidence and
strength of a lion.
Unharmed by any hand
They were so jelous of her,
She had the grades, the friends, the atittude.
They all wished they were her... And she just wished she was someone else.
She hides behind cigarette smoke and prescription pills on her bad days
Behind a curtain I am no one
But the person in front of the curtain
I am Sarah Riddle
I am the girl from California
North and South Carolina
And Japan
I can’t give all of my heart
Because it’s been torn apart,
And that tender look in my eyes
Hides my real desire to cry.
Pay no attention to these tears
See only the plastered smile
I must ignore my fears.
This done-up makeup will soon smear
These nails were once in perfect file.
Pay no attention to these tears.
Even the most honest person may be hiding part of his true self behind a curtain
That doesn’t make him a bad person that just makes him human
We all are hiding parts of who we are behind a curtain
Hello people tell you every now and then
I am just another number in this world
I am just another organism with the same thoughts fluttering in my head
but who are you?
are you just another person to judge my work?
Skin is not transparent at all
Emotions blocked by thick broad walls
One’s inner self cannot be freed
As fake psyche pervades indeed
A curtain may seem like the same
I hide behind the curtain, I hide inside the gloom
I hide from other people, I hide from my social doom
If they really knew me, they would not let me in
I need a backwards mirror.
Something so that maybe,
instead of what you see
reflected back at you,
you see me.
Instead of the words
you hear coming from my mouth,
you see the back of my throat.
They ask me why I never speak
Why my face holds a constant expression
Don’t tell them now, then they’ll know
A face of half-worn smiles and quiet laughs
A lack of personality, I think not
Let me tell you a story:
It's about a young girl.
Her childhood had no worries,
But one ruthless day changed her world.
Laughter-filled days,
Seemingly endless smiles,
all of these walls surrounding me
my mask is on, yet still everyone is clowning me
i cant take it anymore its time they stop doubting me
these crazy thought across my mind letting all these sounds be free
All I can Do is Hide
A Mask to me is a useful guide
There's a certain Safety I feel
I don't have to face the Past
I can make the Good times last
Disguising my pain, Just to Get by
The peacefulness of the rain couldn’t ease the chaos in my mind
We fall in love and pretend that everything will be alright
We mask our problems with cigarettes and alcohol
Doubt is but a stream of negative thoughts
Telling you, you cannot do something
You aren't good enough
I'm the girl who holds this smile,
Which is not near the truth,
So remember, when you look at me with a smile,
And I smile back…
Thoughts as thick as caramel dripping from sugar stained lips.
Cascading down a path of ice cream doubts. Hesitation-
Impeading a great avalanche of expression.
See her gossamer thread surround her physique,
Sometimes I'm quite witty
Most people wouldn't know
Because they're so judgemental
I rarely let it show
Sometimes I see different
From other girls my age
I tend to be much more mature
On the outside
I'm perfect
Golden and true
The truth stops there
That golden facade
It's only skin deep
On the inside
I'm better
Radiant even
I draw breath in pain to tell my story.
No dear friend Horatio to add glory.
The curtain is now drawn.
The players are on.
A jester appears giddy and merry.
Pratfalls, and pies make the audience laugh.
I am trapped under this mask
The Iron Mask as they call it
It's so heavy on my face and visible to see
How come they can't see it too?
I want to take it off to show them my face
The true me as it is called
Come, enter the world behind the curtain,
Were the joy is diluted by the pain
Where the smiles are not constant and not everything is certain.
as i look deep i see myself
coalescing into a human being.
tell me no holds barred
and i will spit until i am speaking;
speaking to an empty room
oh, how the depths whisper sweetly thy name,
as sea foam outstretches and kisses the rain.
and oh, how the moon cries for the hopeless
and the hills sigh so softly, helpless to thy pain.
Some people hide behind a curtain,
But I wear a mask.
My mask needed no purchase,
It came with my costume of skin,
and can not be recieved via pay pal nor cash.
I wear this mask every day
Come and get them,All purpose, all colors, all liesAvailable from A.M to P.MMy lovely enterprise
The Shadow Behind the Curtain
I guess I like to hide it
My secrets at the bottom of the pit
I don’t know why I like to hide
With my computer and pencils by my side.
I never want to draw attention
Most days, having a vagina scares me,
And it's not because thinking of the giant life force that one day is going to spring forth from it and nestle itself in the crooks of my weary arms and loving gaze.
The fact is I am HUMAN.
I make mistakes
Those mistakes prevent me from
Continuing my life,
Where do I begin?
And Where do I end?
Time goes against me,
But life always goes on,
When you look at me, you see the young girl with the baby face who is always smiling being nice to everyone because she is always there to help.
Locked in a standsill
with a pool of shimmering glass.
Naked,
afraid that this was all I ever was
and all I will be.
Dead black hair covering the bathroom floor.
I wear a mask.
Not in a literal sense,
But I wear a mask.
The real me likes everything
And sometimes nothing at all.
I'm a total girl some days.
I love makeup and hair and Gossip Girl.
I hide because I fear
judgement and ridicule engulfed me before
i hide but my time is near
whats to say they won't return once more
i must confront these voices my choice is clear
PHENOTYPE=Me?
I'm not satisfied.
Not just with me.
Or my actions.
But unsatisfied with life.
Do my feelings even matter if I'm plastered- generic,
A Phenotype?
I hate this stuff
I don’t want to write this verse
I don’t like when people are tough
Can I write any of this?
I feel so stupid.
People are sour
Halloween is October 31st, not everyday
But every day you hide behind a mask
The mask of a monster hiding an angel’s face
Sometimes, the mask doesn’t want to come off
Sometimes the mask is comfortable
In the beginning I was rather frail.
School was not a complete smooth sail.
Words of hate drove me to solitude.
The sadness I felt was at a large altitude.
To forget the troubling world,
The doors of a shuttered house stand closed
You walk up to the desiccated grounds
No true path
No sign of color or vivid life
No way to get past the hound
Put it onThat mask I wearA smile for my friendsA laugh here and thereDon’t let them seeWhat lies with inTears that threatenTo flow over the brim
This is a rape poem
but i am male
impossible you say
fuck you
i trusted this man
he was my friend
a few years older
we played hide and seek
with the rest of our friends
So Who Am I
Cancer survivor struggling to make it out of chemo…no, that’s not me.
Orphaned child trying to find love in a world that seems loveless…no, that’s not me.
Expectations.
They control my life,
they control everyone's lives.
'Do better' they order.
Pay no attention to the me behind the curtain
After all, I've worked so hard on the illusion.
See how smoothly the make-up blends into the clockwork?
See how the recorded laughter runs easily into yours?
I gaze into the mirror, wait that isn't me
Someone else is looking back at me
An eldery man, clean shaven with striking brown eyes
I then realize, they are mine.
Sunken cheekbones of slow death
These people. These conceited, overbearing, ignorant people....my so called friends. I have spent over a year now with these people. I have shared beds with them. I've shared secrets. I have kissed some, I have hugged some.
Someone once asked me, "who are you and what made you this way?"
I was asked that questions years and still am lost for an answer to this day
I am a women of color with a body that has even proportions
Redheaded girl, who sits and waits,
For the days of cold to be over.
Whispers of other student's rates,
On the always unnoticeable cover.
The pain she feels is always real,
The true me only shows up in the dark when no one is around. When someone sees the true me, my smile is turned into a frown.
The Real Me
People always tell me to be me
To be the one of a kind me
To be the real me
To not be afraid to be me
I wanna tell you everything
I wanna let you in
But innocence is so long gone
Where would I begin?
If you were me, you’d do the same
You will never know my pain
But maybe this time I will fall
inhale and exhale
our lungs never seem to fail
why is it that breathing comes so naturally
if a speck of dust is in your eye
although you’re not sad you’ll start to cry
I never know what to expect.
Whether I would be loved more or be left.
Once I knew I was gay,
Everything got so complicated.
I was scared, hurt, and I didn't know what I should do.
Behind the curtain,
Beneath the surface,
I am confident.
I am content.
With my being,
With my insightful views,
And with where I am.
When the curtains are drawn,
Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain
Peeking is not allowed.
You want to see her?
Well you can’t.
Direct your attention instead to the façade standing before you
I don't need a degree in philosophy to know that I am Socrates.I don't need a degree in anthropology to know that I am a human Being.
I'll make my degree in business to question: Who's green money is this?
The Judge's Anvil.
All carry it
ALL use it.
What is judged?
People.
Why do we judge our own race?
We are the only species that does this.
Maybe being different is not so great.
Curtains, i cry in my distress, Curtains.
You lie to me about who i am, you dull the light.
Yet i can not be tricked for i am certain.
you push people away, with all your might.
So long, she's spent hiding, behind her velvet mask.
Hiding herself from the judging eyes,
Pretending to be someone, anyone else.
She smiles, while everyone stares intently.
We are born into this world with no expectations;
Full of joy and happiness and only elation.
Our parents mold us into their personal creations;
So we lose ourselves through all this emanation.
Death surrounds me like a blanket of black and blue
How many times;
Interesting how it started to happen as soon as I was old enough to determine
what was valuable. meaningful to me.
He was caught by surprise
How can I cease to be
The person that is me
For when I look in the mirror,what do I see?
I see a girl that society is breaking,
I see a girl that society is making.
A girl that yearns to stand tall,
I forgot how to live.
Couches were for comfort
and laziness was for coping.
Excuses, poor behavior
and more excuses.
I stand face to face,
With the person I was supposed to be.
In the mirror he stands there, a smile on his face,
While a frown graces my own.
"Be yourself"
I hear that a lot
But it's hard to be myself when people hate me
"Be yourself"
My mother said in one ear
As society said in the other to change everything else
What hides beneath those curly locks
Is tucked inside her ruffled socks
This girl that rarely ever talks
She's hidden behind the mirror
She's always so adroit in school
Afraid of being not that cool
Another student aggravated by the public school system.Another face in the hallways.Another awkward and quiet teenager.Another average student who doesn’t stand out.Another organism taking up oxygen on Earth.
You don't know how bad I urge
To get my self out of a pot hole full of nothing
How I wish I could drive a fancy car
Or atleast any car
Instead of dripping my sweat at every bus stop
yelling, screaming like the
storm that can't stop outside the window
rainbow
used to come after the storm
but this time, the storm breaks the glass and
the glass pieced
Behind the Curtain, is a place to hide
Where people,whatever age, try to hide their pride.
People see what they want to see in front of the curtain
But no one tends to ever look at whats behind the curtain.
The True Me?
The True Me is everchanging.
When I try to find it, it morphs because
I was not the same person I was finding it as I was when I found it.
When I see her, few things remain the same:
Smiles hide my tears,
They have for many years.
Happiness is better than sadness
But I'm filled with bitterness
Society is often depressing
And not very accepting
So I hide behind the yellow curtain
I hide behind the curtain,
unable to be me.
I have always been here,
the real me can't be seen.
only if only you knew me,
then you could surely tell,
no one knows the real me,
"You're weird!"- Who's weird? What's weird? The word weird is weird. How can we determine what a person is? Different seems bad now at days. Why? "You're weird!"- Who's weird?
It lives in her heart;
An unwelcome guest.
She’ll never know peace.
It won’t let her.
To push It out,
She has tried everything.
And so, now,
Rivers of deep, longing red.
I, cry these heartfelt tears
Love overflowing, drowning in this flood
Forgiveness exhausted, dark circles underneath my soul
The Locked Mind
They don’t really see me,
Only my vulnerability,
They look for a way to attack,
A way to take me down,
Find a way to make me drown.
A smile on my face as the sun shines through,
Another wonderful day enters the room.
The same routine is what is done,
Sick to my stomach everyday
My eyes are watering
I can hardly pray
My depression is growing
Along with my anger and pain
I am making mistakes
Bumping down the road without a break,
Binging on food so that I can be in a bettter mood.
I am the rock in the leather jacket,
Standing against the gate looking cool
The true me is a process
The true me
Is question that I sometimes have to contemplate sadly
Cause my generation, my parents, and the people on TV
Are all fighting the fight to try and define me
It’s been there all my life.
It’s made my life very difficult.
I’ve come a long way since the diagnosis and have worked hard to get where I am in school.
A Women of All Odds
Please pay no attention to the women behind those books
Intelligence is over-rated; twerking is all the new rage
I hide behind my curtain because I am just so uncertain.Seeing my reflection in the mirror only brings about my fears.To be judged or not makes me want to curl up on a cot.
Explore and dream and speak and learn
An image I've worked hard to earn
Good girl, hardly wrong, always strong
A reputation that makes you want to belong.
But I wanna be just me
Beneath the lattice
Of heavy vines,
A garden grows
Where no sun shines.
No roses bloom
In neat, straight lines.
Weeds they call them
In groups like shrines.
A rabbit hole
Prompt:
Write a poem about the true you and
what’s preventing you from
pulling back the curtain so that everyone can peer in through your
We Are Anonymous
Like the Mosquito
that comes to bite you
and you kill it.
Now she is a forgotten entanglement
of red and black.
But you are still scratching
the bitemark.
Orange, red, yellow, brownFalling from aboveBlowing over townLike the travels of a doveLeaf piles galoreTaken by the breezeSpread onto the floorMess taken with ease
Afraid of what society expects of her
Fearful of letting them down
Always wanting to please people
But tired of being their clown
What if she's not good enough?
Maybe there's someone better?
I can’t help but laugh when people say they know me.I can’t help but choke back a storm of words and instead just,simply nod my head and agree.Yes, of course you know me.
I'm erratic, I'm happy, I'm hyper!
WATCH ME! I'm so full of JOY!
You see me laughing and joking?!
Please! Manipulate me, I am your toy!
Wait, the poison in my bloodstream has caused this?
Why did you pretend to love me?
My life feels ruined without you.
I was content with my outlook on life until you came along
You made me believe I could have a best friend, that I could love,and that life wasn't all bad.
Way deep down, hidden from sight,
Like stars in the day instead of the night,
I keep concealed where no one can see,
The inner, braver, courageous me.
Cowed by timidity, marked by blank fear,
Don’t look beyond the curtain’s edge,
Please leave the veil alone.
A secret girl is hidden there,
You’ll wish you’d never known.
Keep her there, and lock her up,
And never let her out,
What do they see when they see me ?
Do they see the pain that I hold inside?
No, they only see what they want to see.
Behind the smile, behind the scenes
No one sees the true me.
Where I’m From
I am from a hygienic, OCD home
Where I learned to clean and be organized.
Fear and doubt are what describe me
I hide behind a mask filled with dazzling colors and glitters
There isn't a pint of confidence inside my body
"What a beautiful life she must have!" everyone murmurs
Sometimes I scare myself.
My mind blossoms into the biggest tree
with the longest branches
I came from strong guardians,
Jaws dropping at the sight of freedom.
I came from the childhood of innocence,
Sheltered in protection,
A house of PBS and religion,
Who am I?
I'm just a happy guy,
At least that's who I am on the outside,
I keep a mask of a smile to hide my frown,
So my sadness doesn't bring others down,
But if you want to know the truth about me,
Have you ever seen a Venetian Mask?
Have you beheld its beauty?
Have you studied its intricacy?
Look at its colors.
Look at its shape.
Pre-rehearsed lines,
Memorized gestures,
It all looks perfect,
The cheery optimist and cheerleader of friendship,
But really she’s just staggering in step to a badly tuned song,
Doesn’t wear makeup,
but our hearts are on the brinkof killing us quickpoisoning our veinsand melting our brainswhere have we gonefaded into the shadows
They say, don’t hide behind yourself
But they don’t realize they never give me a chance
I want to scream and shout
But all I get is shut out
All you see is the quiet girl who does well
No one knows the pain I'm in, so i'll show them
No one sees my pain, until they have to sew them
Does showing myself have to bring me so much pain?
I love acting but must I play another role?
With confusion I hid my undesired face under a mask
Teaching myself to remain neutral
To shut up when I wished to speak!
From deep inside the Darkness varies.
It hides inside the vivacious Light
Trying to fight its way from seclusion,
Growing inside to gain alliances.
The pulling, the tugging, the atoms within my anatomy
My fingers intertwined, becoming lost in the red forest of my hair.
I traced my eyebrows,each hair stabbing my finger
Like sleeping beauty's spindle, I succumbed to the temptation
For I was cursed, Trichotillomania.
Me.
I am filled to the brim with sassy remarks and enough awkwardness to annihilate the Western Hemisphere.
Me.
Heart pumping as I race
through the halls, avoiding people,
gazes, questions. Unable to
release myself from this prison. Holding
back, caring not of the things I want to say,
need to say, have to say.
I dreamed a dream of a little girl in a yellow dress
She was dancing with the white roses
Her feet running gaily Her arms twirling as if she was a ballerina
She turned to smile at me….
I see myself as a low life,
Someone who doesn't really try.
I don't care what people think,
except for when I cry.
I don't know why I do,
but maybe I shouldn't.
Where do we all go to,
I am a PasserbyNo one minds meI hide in corners For no one to see
I wear this smileTo hide my growing fearsI put on this faceto mask the falling tears
She is a lovely little dancing dollTrapped inside this embellished music boxTwist and turn the dial to hear her call
It doesn't matter my height,I have to look up to you.
I was born with no choiceAs a woman.
That automatically makes meSmallerWeakerUnimportantOnly for your entertainment.
Why should I hide?
We are taught from birth to do so but why?
‘We’re all human’ they said so why do they punish me?
Who cares if I’m not perfect?
Society apparently.
Who they want me to be is perfect,
I have always wondered about this place,
is it a prison, or do they really wish to help us succeed. It raises many question between me and my fellow students, we feel that teachers do not wish for us to succeed.
I walk into my sanctuary, the Chorus room
Everyone is talking and laughing
But I just slip silently behind them
As I awkwardly wait for the bell to ring
I want to be one of them
The people who talk and laugh
I put on my mask every morning
The mask with the smile and the bright eyes
Sometimes I don't need my mask, yet
Other times desparately
I don't want you to worry about me
About how i am so sad
Who is she? That girl over there?
"Nah," they say. "Don't worry about her. She ain't nothing."
"She lame. She this. She that..."
Oh, but if only they knew. If they knew the real me.
I am BRITTNEY
Most people think that's just a name.
But it's so much more
I hide behind Brittney and the scary thing is...
People don't see through it
Family, Friends, Strangers
The demons claw as the sun decends
The wolves howl as the moon ascends
Dark is the world that consumes the light
Just as the monsters takes flight
Joy, laughter, happiness are objects of peaceful reality
A smile,
a giggle,
and cheerful hello.
This is what they see.
But,
is it the real me?
Inside I am in a panic,
running around,
crying,
dying.
I was never aware
That I was not the only one
Suffocating behind the contstraints
Of a mask of my own making.
That other people are in pain
Just as I am.
Trying to get along in life
Behind myself is a person,
Not just any person,
But a person who isn’t afraid to get on a table and scream,
I'm meant to think of Love, Smiles, and Clothes
Why can't I think simply that?
I think of Darkness, Chaos, and Sorrow
Left with just my thoughts it's misery
But that's never what the people see
Under the covers
Trying to find security
My little brothers
Can be something beastly
Fearful and shy is what I am
And they exploit my cowardice
Courage is trapped in a jar of jam
Mid day’s blaze following dawn’s frosted sheet,
Signifies the suns diminishing heat.
The leaves abdicate their reign over the sky
Summer has ceased, waning climates imply.
Oh the plethora of festive décor!
Every time I go out
Open my eyes and see
I put on my mask
Help, people are watching me.
I’m tired of hiding
Masks are all around us.
People hide.
I hide.
Act nice, keep that smile in place.
Don’t show them who you are.
Society expects to much.
Be perfect, what even is “perfect”
My name is Ami.
It’s a friendly smile,
the sweet nectar that butterflies enjoy,
the common two syllables
with the Gujarati pronunciation
Pain, pain, pain,
Such vibrant scents
Seated on this white plush...
Feeling sorry for myself...
and
Others who may not sit here
But instead
On
Rust nails, sharp cargo, ivory bones
I am a person with no reason to be,
Paying for his life with the ultimate fee.
I’ve lost my independence,
And I’ve really lost my mind.
I’ve lost it all in the daily grind.
I put up a veneer.
Follow me into the depths if you can withstand the shark,
This world placed spite in my heart,
I’m bothered by light,
So I’m comfortable in the dark,
Individualistic by character,
Look Me in the eye
You'll find an endless pit of darkness
Move back and see my face, covered in blistering scars of past and present;
One can realize many things from all the worldly viewsPeople are like canvases, white and blank and newOwners of this art, realize there's much to do.
Living with depression is not an easy thing to do
Living with anxiety is not an easy thing to do
Living with both has become so painfully unbearable
Being true to myself
Can be stressful and hard
And in order to keep my edge,
I hide my crystal shard.
I see myself as a crystal, you see
With a blue fire inside
Burning a bright light
I am a giant in this world
The genetic anomaly that everyone despises
Screwing up the gene pool
Making everything a mess
Not because I am mutated but simply because I am different
We come from a conservative past
To a high tech future moving way to fast
The fate of these lands
Are now forced into our hands
Will we bring distress to an end
Will we have the efficiency to mend
I don't wear dresses
or high heeled shoes
I'm known for my messes
necklaces and rings, I'd most likely lose
I am so scared
This voice is overpowering
I pull shut the curtain of the poorly-lit dressing roomI shimmy out of my jeans to try on a dress for an event I don't want to go toI look down at my thighs and see my battle wounds
*Read lines 1 through 26, starting at the top of the page, and ending at the bottom.
The harshness of life
The criticism of others
The rough pressure of others
The expectation of many
The contributions of society
The hiding behind a mask
The shielding of one's feelings
I have something that wants to get out
Beating on my chest so hard I want to shout
Feelings! I keep way down
Crazy things, I hate the way they sound
Bad thoughts to people or things
There lay a story of a lonely sailor
Taming the tumultuos sea
Taming the vivid monstrosity;
The girl you see before you is nothing more then an illusion
Cast by a strong and powerful magican.
The real girl is hidden,
Hidden beyond the darkness of her eyes.
There's a reason she hides in shadows.
You laugh at me,
So I tend to flee.
I hide behind this mask,
I’m just trying to finish this task.
You call me names,
To you it’s just games.
You fill me full of pain,
She was the glass she held in her hand.
Smooth and strong,
calm and contained like the like the liquid in the glass.
Then, life caught her off guard and she let the glass slip.
I've always thought that thinking outside the box was a good thing.
Who notices the kid
With the glasses and the braces?
Walking through the crowded halls
Getting lost in all the faces.
As we grow older we realize there's always a name to a face
We no longer look behind the eyes or into the soul
to find a personality or trait.
But rather judge by age, color, and race.
fragile like a recordwe all break too easilywhy can't I be tough or thick-skinnedwhy can't I shed these stupid cracks in my limbs?
I can't even play a song anymorewithout stopping, skippingstuck
Sarah had a little lamb,guarded in pink meadows.A young forebearer, no doubt.A deserted motherseeking to conquer the cosmos.
Astounding, how we can all wear the same mask and not realize it. The fake smile, the convincing laugh, the mastered skill of appearing happy. The act people keep up when they wish to keep their inner battles a secret from the world.
Day in and day out we search for answers,
for solutions to problems no ones asked us to solve,
for reasons behind already proven facts like
"Why does the sun leave us every day?"
Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain
She longs to tug on the fabric, to pull it miles away
She hides so that her mold matches that of society
So that she won’t be seen for her flaws and mistakes
Plates and bars
Bars and plates
Never taking any breaks
All day all night
The clangs
The bangs
The blood
The sweat
Never having any regret
Complexion
Tones and shades that make up me
But why?
That’s what I ask my self,
Shielded by the hatred of Hera
I am blind
To me,
Why can’t I see what they see?
Theres no poetic way to say i'm not okay.
"How do you stay so happy?"
"How are you always so positive"
They have no clue that i'm anything but
I sit here on the edge of my bed and it occurs to me
I won’t apologize
for my complex emotions that can be your ecstasy or your next nightmare.
I won’t apologize
for being the one who won’t bow down to your word and whim.
When you look my way, you don’t see the inner struggle.
The fighting battle that causes so much trouble.
When you see me you see an ordinary person,
But really deep inside its all one big diversion.
Don't hide who you are.
What's the worst that could happen?
In life you'll go far,
If you treat yourself like a captain.
All alone in a dark room
Glazing, yet staring
It's just me, myself and I
Trying everything in my right mind not to cry
I promise myself I would get through
It's just hard to smile through a terrible mood
We aren't born with insecurity,
But over time we lose our pride
and with it our perfect purity
when told we've something to hide.
We take a being so unique
And demand from it conformity,
i'm really so simple!
so innocent and plain,
my minds races wonders
i am without stains
and this makes me so mad
because it is me,
and yet this girl
has yet to be free
All alone in this crowded room.My eyes meet one…another.They do not see me for what I am.They see the smile on my face;
Someday they will see the real me,
Instead of who they think they see
I try to blend in, not make any scenes
I'm quiet and thoughful
Nobody seems to take time
anymore to really listen
It's about them
Who am I, who is this person that I've become?
I find myself crying in a corner, wishing that it could all be undone.
Constanly judged by wandering eyes, who am I?
Only I have the power to decide.
8/29/14
I can twist my fingers and say "it's better this way...to be alone. It's okay to be alone."
But Really, I lay awake at night and turn my hands over an empty place,
(hours on end)
Sometimes
I am the clown
Making people laugh
with quirks, with jokes, with funny faces
Sarcastic quips flow from me like rain falls from angry thunderclouds
Other times, I am the mouse
Hiding
My mask is pretty
it's flashy and loud and bright
a boisterous laugh and exaggerated hand gestures
an obnoxious voice and a too wide smile
My mask is strong
its varnish my fear of rejection
With friends it’s all fun and games
By myself its nothing but pain
Scared to take a chance
On the outside I’m bold
A Kaleidoscope Image
With every turn, Your image swirls for bypassers
...
Just a sad face on the corner, your neighbor has seen you.
And all for verse, I wrote it.
To preach for our
Humble experiences.
We have miles, and the seas behind us,
From the farthest
Splashes, we
Have Carved out harmony
Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain.
She's just a body.
Just a cabinet, shoddy.
Look away, look back, look at the more certain.
A serene statue lost in the crowd
Scarred wrists and stolen innocence
Playing war and failing at failing in
the constant game of survival
A coffee too bitter to sweeten with milk and sugar
I stand here petrified, awaiting for the storm of judgment
I want my voice to be heard, I want my voice to reach the far seas
Sit down
Good girl
Close your eyes when you pray
Always look happy, even if you aren't
Look at her
She never makes a mistake
Always does what she's told
Always listens
Always holy
The maskMade of angels and demonsShows the good and hides the bad
The maskDisguises what is insideConcealing hardship and hurt
The maskShows a light on the outsideAnd struggles to find inside
I amI am the kid who grow up in the lower class only plastic cups no crystal glass.I am from a family of five it should of been six but I lost a little brother and can't offered to lose another.
New places, new faces
Same me.
Same girl.
The only difference is the new faces
She sees look back at her
With disdain.
Disdain at the music she listened to
The clothes she wore
dead. dead. dead.
Don't let them see you.
They see you and you're dead.
dead. dead. dead.
You weren't made to be around them.
They wouldn't understand, they never understand.
dead. dead. dead.
Close my eyes
Runaway and hide
Don’t let them inside
They’ll just hurt you, not really there for you
All they do is lie
All that have tried
That had sat with me while I cried
Laugh.
Smile.
Agree.
Don’t fight.
You’re getting too close.
Slam the door.
Pull the blinds.
Cut the ties.
Leave them behind.
You’re getting too close.
Something that makes me smile,
I'm not really sure,
Maybe it's season aisle,
Maybe it's immature
I enjoy the sunshine,
When peeking through the trees
The needles of the pine,
We are the storied questers,
Introducing ourselves with tattered names and all the jokes we know.
We build our suspecting images of each other,
Lo and behold, friends, my life dressed in gold,For nothing else does my glory justice:Here rooms of color, each so grandly bold,And marvelous! You'd swear't an angel's kiss.
It screeched in my ears,
Echoing across the earth.
The everlasting sky bent to hear,
the Presents of Death and Birth.
My mother's hands comforting,
My father's coarse yet warm.
People call me a perfectionist. And I would agree with them.
I would at least, if they asked me.
Perfection. It is expected, so I will deliver.
I've bought the clothes, I've styled my hair,
But it's not fair, no it's not fair!
I've put on all this make-up, to not look like a freak;
And to keep up my physique, I haven't eaten in a week.
What is a delusion but a demented dream
What is a distraction but the illusion your mind is truly diverted
What is divorce but a family perverted
The cape of a superhero, prevented from billowing beneath tight clothes.
A gilded heart tarnished.
A polar bear with fur white as snow, tainted with the blood of a meal
I used to hide behind the mask of violence and anger,
Lost in a world of pain, I realized I hade to change,
Now a lover, friend, and sister I am renewed.
On the outside I reveal my sweet smile,
But lately I haven't been showing my face around
I keep to myself avoiding you for awhile
I'm sorry when you see me that my sweet smile is bound
Don't cry don't weep
Survival
In seventh grade bio, I learned about camouflage. Like all textbooks, chameleons, and tigers, and zebras lined up the pages to put faces to the definition.
Who I am? That is not the question, but
Who are you?
We are not different. Open your eyes, you are me.
We are the same.
Same person, same air.
And all I want to know is
Are you okay
Or do you merely say you are
To avoid weird glances
And long awkwards talks about feelings
That do absolutely nothing
Their perfect little daughterMaking perfect gradesIn every clubTop of her classPeople stare and say:"She's just an overachiever.""What a teacher's pet.""Does she not have a life?"
Sipping on my drink, dark bitter brew and drunken irish tunes add to distractions that aren't what they're me
When I am myself
I get to be the true me
I don't have to hide my feelings
I can let my joyous smiles and bubbling laughter go
I get to be the proud senior who graduates
1.) If Newborn Babies Could Speak They Would Be The Most Intelligent Beings On Planet Earth
No one sees the real me,
under the smile and all the laughter,
and the friendly conversation,
there's a cloak of sadness covering me,
depression stalking my every move,
never letting me go,
Smile, and let the whole world see. Not because you wish too, but because you must. Hide behind the laughter and joy, that once alone, becomes anxiety and fear. Let them all feel loved, and you will too.
Hold it.
Girl, hold the smile.
Hold the pain for a little while.
A while longer,
and they'll see...
But then fear gets the best of me.
Hold it.
Must hold them up.
Can I take this mask off now?
It smells like mold, like a forgotten fish tank
Probably from all of the long trapped tears
Can I take this mask off now?
I cannot see through the eye slits
I am the One that walks in the night
I give the world a terrible fright
When I write in what i behold
not just in what i told
See the girl with a pencil?
She seems bright
Intelligent maybe
But she hides behind a curtain
You said we are friends. were friends till the end but what you do not see is the real me. All I want do is to make you see the guy inside me. Inside all the fear inside the fat and tears I want you to see the real me.
Leave all doors opens,
I don't know if I'll return.
I'm stuck between trying to he
Myself,
The perfect daughter,
A flawless, better version of my sister,
masquerade.
a masquerade of sorts,
and i shall hide behind
the velvet curtain.
streaming down to cover my
light, blushed face.
vexation of no sorts,
i too begin to believe
Love is a four letter word
with a lot of deep meaning.
You search and search for the one,
and once you found it,
you want them to stay.
It all starts out with happiness and joy
Why am i so fucked up in the head
sitting here wishing that i was dead.
Crying inside this shell called a body
wishing this disorder on nobody.
Why do i feel so empty inside,
Girl! Let me tell you
Life’s a game
With missing pieces to the puzzle
Eventually you find them
All broken up
Will they like me?
Not a chance in the world.
We all wonder why,
Everyone is so shy.
Nobody thinks that it is true,
Until the day, it happens to you.
This mask I wear... is one with me
I am fury, passion and chaos.
Hiding behind this curtain,
hiding these silent tears trailing down.
Show me your true self,
staring down into those still depths
I am not who you think I am
Sam I am,
Act as though you have it all together “they say”
Be Together and Do Your Best “teacher says”
You can be anything “they say”
Live to you full potential “sister says”
facade, mask, cloak, camouflage, veil
it doesent matter what you call it
we all have one
what matters is how deep you are inside that blanket of mystery
the me you see isn’t the me at all
The facade of the lionWith the sheep spirit.Proud and powerful with the weakness screaming out to hear it.Independent, I don't need anybody.No one to ever know that the curtain is shoddy.
Preference is irrelevent
Superiors care none for what you choose
Superficial injury like a bruise
But the pain goes deeper
Hold in your feelings
Your preference would send them reeling
I run from the light that reveals me
Into the shadows that consume me
The shadow of guilt
I hold it within myself
Sacrificing my soul to its desire
I hide my face
Yet I can never fool myself
Being 15 is a prick
going through changes
that make you sick
wishing to go back to the good old days
Once a baby
young and helpless
crawling around
causing a ruckus
Perfection is an illusion
It is the invisible lock that keeps us from unleashing maximum potential
There is no curtain
I am my only roadblock
The things people judge me for are the things that make me so beautiful
Before I speak, they believe in the simple and common that lies within me,
After I speak, they flee and judge from afar.
Time after time, many don't understand,
There once was a bobble-head,
it says yes to everything said
either boy or girl
from out of this world
the bobble-head always said yes.
His name was skinny Rem Tim,
Hello,
is anyone there?
Anybody at all?
Ive cried too much.
This demon,
it has me locked,
locked deep inside.
It has me lynched
and lifeless.
It drained all of my life,
i never thougth i'd be this depressed,
wondering when the lights gonna fade.
I never thought the pain would get worse,
scaring, and lining my arms from blades.
I never thought hurting could feel so good
Im fine,
but i need help.
I just tired,
dont leave me alone.
Stop questioning me,
just ask me whats wrong.
Go away,
i dont want you to leave.
Im done,
somehow,
Confusion fills my head
torn between mixed emotions
it breaks me apart
piece by piece
my heart falls
into an abyss called pain
The days pass
and i feel more and more empty
i cant help
They scream,
they shout,
the cry
my name.
they wait,
and sit,
and stare
at me.
The urges
the feelings
the fears
come back
all feelings
from one
What will happen when
love turns to hate
passions turns to fear
and life turns to death
What will happen when
agony, sorrow, and pain
controll all your emotions,
when the ones that
We all make mistakes
i live in a life full of them.
All of the mistakes i've made
make me a giant mistake.
Every day new mistakes
I wish i could go back
and right the wrongs
Broken hearted
rip it out
do it slow
dont make me shout
Make me bleed
and drip me dry
wipe my tears
as i cry
take the knife
drive it in
make me feel
Each day, i wonder
what my life would be like
if i hadn't made the first cut
if my emotions hadn't overpowered me
if i wasn't so desperate to let it out
It started with one and then another
Running out in the Sun
Sounds like Fun
Laughter fills the air
From the distance I glare.
Long pain of despair.
My mask can no longer spare
The amount of sadness I can't stand
I'm an odd one,If there's anhng I have leared these past 1 yearsIt's that.
I realized recentlyThoughSomething peculiar, if you will
We fought I left you didn't run after me.
I ran to fast, finding a path for me.
I threw the bottle and watched it shater.
I saw that one piece that shined and went after.
They don't know how I stay sane.
I am like the ocean
The further and deeper you go
The more unique and beautiful features you find
Deep in the ocean there are colorful reefs where colorful fish swim
Me
That is all I will ever be.
I scream, I shout, I cry
No one even sees me try.
My hair falls over my face.
Life is such a disgrace
I hate the darkness in which I live
In the morning, I don't have time to go slow
Because I have to be at the church
At 5:50 am
To make God happy.
In this mask I am silly, goofy, and i act just like my shoe size.
I am really childish, and don't listen to anyone.
My actions describe who and why I am me.
My skin color is silk brown and I am hilarious to my friends.
The face you see is not the face you recieve
But it seems, oh woe, no one doth care.
Ones heart would be a sticky sieve,
Yet others are unaware.
The curtain drapes heavy over our masked production,
I am starting to worry
I find myself confused these days
Not quite sure when my words are real,
They sink with anger in the depths of Tartarus,
But no one sees them cry.
They crawl and snarl and shout with madness,
But no one really knows why.
They climb a mountain without any legs,
Sometimes I don’t know the difference
Between what I say and what I feel.
I just
Smile
Smile
Smile
Smile
And nod.
I’m lost in a crowd of people who hear me
But they don’t.
'Come out and play'
that chiding voice inside my head
calls out to me
as I hide in the corner
reclusive
The scars inside are too deep
for even me to see
And they never break the surface
She carries a black backpack with her embroidered monogram on the front. Inside is the work that it will take to get her where she wants to be.
Every angel has a demon,
Just as every light
Creates a shadow,
And it gets more arduous
To separate the two each day.
As the sun rises, my Angel rises.
She likes to please others.
When I was four I loved my brother and he broke his arm
he screamed and fell and I didn't know what to do
so I gave him marshmallows
When I was seven I loved a doll and I cut its hair
Those flaws uncovered, hidden by the masks we wear on a day to day basis.
Those flaws uncovered that goes unheard and is plainly written on our faces.
Dear Lord help me remove this mask that reaveals the true me.
People see me and assume they know everything about me based off of the little information they know.
If I let you in my head,
Make sure to bring a lantern,
Some holy water and a bible,
If you have it handy
Don't open the doors;
You won't like what you find
There are monsters hiding there,
Faces pass and time flies
The feelings I have, I’ve kept inside
I keep them hidden from the world
I imagine Life after death where we all reach enteral bliss
Death is scary but the only reason I accept it is because this can't be why we live
I pray god made his kingdom just for us
lights, camera, action, green screen, Steven Spielberg special effects this set up is more complex than anything you’ll find up in Hollywood
There is no time for stage fright the cameras here are always rolling
colorful phrases
of never having reached manhood
bass notes lost no soul
loud laughter carried
on a gay boy’s shoulder
it’s not fun it’s not funny
the shame and hatred seen in the twist in his walk
I have galaxies growing inside me.
I move on like light speed
You are nothing more than
A fleeting star blinking out.
The pain you think you caused is gone
Down a black hole never to be seen again.
walls
imagination runs away from me
where they also happen to speak free
Walls
built up tears and harbored tension
wanting to be stuck in an alternate dimension
WALLS
Who am I?
I am a sinner.
I am a saint.
I am judgmental
Yet I try to be accepting.
I care about others pain
Yet I don’t mourn for loss.
I have a dirty mind
But a weak stomach.
Smoke and mirrors is all just a game
Society judges and laughs at our true self
We hate to be judged,
We hate to be different.
I spend my life hidden behind the games. Hidden behind a curtain.
A Look Beyond The Mirror
If you look into the mirror
The girl that you will see
Is someone you might like
But not who I wish to be
If you look Beyond the Mirror
This World This Hate, These choices of gods decide our fate.The Pain we cause the destruction we bring, To us t
I’m goodHow about you?“I’m good too” they sayBut I both know that’s a lie becauseLittle black numbersVerdana 11 black fontEach curved elegantly, but rigidremind me that I have nothing left
A girl, scared.
She cries alone.
Writing her fears on her arm.
And then hiding them again.
Hiding her face, her voice,
She sits in class, quiet.
Writing.
"The boredom sets in/
From my youth, I recall thoughts and wishes
Of my life being as the wind that swayed the trees.
It didn’t hide its true self behind something fictitious
It was powerful, beautiful, and noticeable, just as I wanted to be.
I look at the guy in the mirror.
His ecstasy can't be any clearer!
See him in the hall, he'll give you a high-five!
See his walk hear his talk, this guy is alive!
He's the popuar kid in school!
When I go to work I have to be a leader It’s not an important job, a prestigious one neither But there are people relying on me to get things done That usually translates to all work and no fun My employees think I’m an asshole They think that I
Curl my hair and make up my face.
I have to look cute or school is a waste
I'm here for the boys. I'm here to complain.
"Ew science is gross! Math is a pain!"
I'm a small town girl. I'm pretty.
Who am I?
Who do you think I am?
Who do I want to be?
Who was I in the past?
sometimes it's hard to tell the difference
a hodgepodge
of memories
that sometimes i can't tell
Who am I you ask?
The invisible girl behind the mask
Along the ride -- she forgot who she was
not that it even mattered because
She's wandered too far
And now it's too hard
It's too real, too raw
It is a choice.
Those four words have the force, of a thousand.
A thousand words of anger, a thousand words of hate,
Misunderstood, misinformed, is a mind that's in that state.
Happy, not a real emotion,
People wonder, what is his commotion?
I have a problem with extortion,
A good reason to be hyped with emotion,
I promise you it's just to test my devotion,
Have you ever noticed
how your laugh sounds different
when you're with your closest friend
than it does with your dad?
Have you ever wondered
what it would look inside of an
I do not hide behind a curtain
I do not cower behind a thing
Instead I am a window
I rap like a rapper
I Po et like a poet
My mind is abstract
But who really knows it
If I am a box
A square full of roses
Concealed to the world
Who really knows it?
Best friends through thick and thin
Would not last long if there's no trust
Although we may be friends for years,
the better we get to know one another,
the harder it is to remain our relationship
Best friends through thick and thin
Would not last long if there's no trust
Although we may be friends for years,
the better we get to know one another,
the harder it is to remain our relationship
To cut your own hair is the safest way to live dangerously
I want to dye it - pink, purple, blue
but change is like going into the forbidden forest or walking into mordor
She goes around laughing,
laughing without a care.
She surrounds herself with people,
everywhere you look.
She's with someone.
And that smile.
It's always there, never faltering.
I, am emerging,
photographic greatness
Raped, by compliments,
encouragement
My, mind is different,
not currupt, right?
Little, things, little steps
I'm usually referred as the "quiet chick" by almost everyone, but inside of my mind it's loud and a good place to escape the labels.
Teeth are seen first.
Smiles all around.
Disdain within.
Keeps me planted to the gound.
Seeing everyone.
So many sheep.
Hate keeping quiet.
Never a peep.
How do we know when to say those three unforgivable words of intrepid meaning? Do I stand back and wait for you to be first? Do I blurt out those three little inconceivable words?
He says that I’m too sensitive
As our friends cheer on to his venomous jest
It’s just a joke, bud, lighten up (I’m incensed)
I used to be scared of the devil.
I would hide behind psalms 23 , Matthew 5: 13, psalms 121, verses I was force fed and swallowed up as I child.
Judgment comes from those who “know” you
But if you really knew would you judge
Eyes show a white girl who has not a problem to be dealt with
If you looked deeper you couldn’t see
an illness
knawing at my internal flesh
no one can see the
Scars except me.
a Facade to hide all the
Pain.
i tend to
Laugh harder,
Try harder,
just so They won't see
It always confuses me when people say I am calm or good at handling stress
One look at my flayed nail beds and they would have a hint at the truth
Do not be confused, who I am is what you see. But perhaps what's more confusing, is it really me? Everyone wears a mask. Some people, on their faces to hide their identity, but most on their hearts, hiding what they truly feel.
He swore there was gold woven through the fabric of her skin,
But the slightest ivory phantom slipped out of her mouth.
As soon as she understood, she inhaled.
"I take it back," she breathed
you say you have never been out of the country
but my dear you really have
you say you have never crossed the border
into any new lands
but you have been all around the world my dear
to places far and near
This is I
I'm gone in the blink of an eye
That is She
She is the one that people see
I'm the creative spirit
I live by the minute
She is the perfectionist
She dwells in her deficit
All those people looking,
But who could really see
what goes on behind the curtain?
Pray my face wouldn't betray me.
All those thoughts and feelings
tried to escape my head;
We all hide behind our fears, convincing ourselves we aren't courageous enough, brave enough, strong enough, or proud enough to succeed.
Over the years I've lived through a lot of things;
Over the years I've been a lot of people,
So many that I lost myself.
Sometimes I look,
There's a child in my mind who belives in mermaids and fairytale weddings
who won't stop smiling
who won't stop laughing
who won't and can't stop believing in optimisn for this world
Why am I so ashamed to express myself?
Is it because, I was overweight?
Is it because, my parents are immigrants dragging me to a lower class then everyone else?
I think about suicide all the time,
Even when I don’t, it’s still at the back of my mind,
I try to remember all the time I tried to leave,
I’m aching for this pain to recede,
I’m so tired of feeling worthless,
Your lips twitch, almost a smile
Before the mask slips into place
Stoic and as strange as before
Trying to so hard to be what they want
To be anything but yourself
But liitle things shine through
Being a senior in high school I know all about the cliques, ya know the popluar kids, the nerds, the jocks, the misfits and so on. I, myself, do not hide behind a mask, I am who I am and love everything about myself.
A stage opens full,
vulnerable to the tap tap of pointe,
piercing down into grounding earth,
her water born face is supported by a broken shoulder joint.
A body cross-sexual, no set form,
I conceal who I am to be seen
The foundation I walk on is not pristine
I powder on false details to change myself
Base my life to look better to someone else
Depression is seen through smoky eyes
Identity
Who are you?
The biggest question to ask yourself
Who are you really?
Do I know or should I know?
They say witches burn in fire,
arms twisted behind back with iron shackles
and fire licked at beaten - blood - bruised - bared flesh
Where have you gone?
you think youre hiding but your wrong
your not insincere or fake or lying
you are you, and you are trying
Becuase when you dig and dig and dig, you wonder who you are at night
Here I am
Yesterday's make-up smeared
Hair a tangled mess
Skin cold and dry
Eyes barely open
And this tightness in my chest I can't seem to shake.
One thought over and over
And over and over
Where have you gone?
you think youre hiding but your wrong
your not insincere or fake or lying
you are you, and you are trying
Becuase when you dig and dig and dig, you wonder who you are at night
What you see is what you get in a perfect world
Illusions are for the foolish, and clarity takes prevalence
We walk around with masks, day in and day out
Masks that only come off when were too tired to keep them on
Confident is how he is seen and perceived
Seen as one who has achieved
All think he knows what he's doing
All are unaware that he will be his own undoing
Alone, he fears what will come
Is it enough to pretend to that we care?If I showed you who I truly was, would you love me anymore?Did you ever actually love me?Do I even care?
Lost in my sea of thoughts both good and bad
mind cracking ready to break
am i mentally insane no i just have a issues lots of them but my mind is an ocean that anyone can
Yelling after yelling
Hides the heart that's willing
To be free
To see
Behind the harshness of words
To finalliy be heard.
Then the heart heard it!
It couldn't see it,
This prison I carry,
Till my time ends and they bury,
Is but a shell of the truth,
Of what I was since youth.
The prisoner hides,
Till the voices subside.
And will only be free,
Who am I?
I am the girl continuously smiling,
The one who's "jaunty".
The girl with the letter-perfect life,
consistently doing what is envisioned.
I'm screaming in here--within walls of flesh--within imperfection--
drowning in self-imposed perfect standards.
The way my eyebrows arch
And the way the corners of my lips tilt south
Many assume that I'm rude
a bitch
a groutch.
My presence demands respect
The trust of another I cannot tell.
The fear drags me down into the darkness.
So far, I have forgotten how to live.
What once was joy has twisted into pain.
For pain has no limits.
Through the windows of my eyes, they squint by trying to hide
The wind blows through my dark hair, and brush rose cheeks
While chills channel through the vines of blood, there,
Fear of judgement, endless hope, constant drama. High School
You stand out like a white leopard in a building full of black leopards
Long brown hair and big blue eyes
Put together by make-up
Covered by lies.
Her fabric made of a mended hole
What more is left?
Just a broken down soul.
Full of exhaustion from being someone she's not
I wake up and I put on my mask.
It gets me through half of the day but then it starts to crack
I feel the toxic air of the real-world seeping into my mask, burning my eyes
I feel this twisting in my stomach,
I fight to keep a straight face.
Secretly I wonder,
Do you feel the things I do?
The same desires?
No, you don't.
Behind close doors I actually have a personality but yet to be explored...
Because where my heart lives it rains...alot
And the monster in my closet remains lock
I adore limitations because I fear the unknown
I am consistently adorn in chains of shyness
The need to be unseen
You can't know meYou don't see my every angleEven the pictures I’m inHide the heart behind the skin
I may be out, but I refuse to leave the door open.
I refuse to feel restricted,
suffocated,
silenced.
How is it that a door can be both an escape and a sentencing?
See my Smile
Hear my Laugh
but don't look into my eyes
No one can see me....
They wouldn't understand me.
The way I am
They only see my incredible masks
My intense curtain of all colors
Let us paint a smile and walk among the happy,
while they go on with out a worry.
As we sit here in our heads contemplating the life we could of had or could have,
Here I am, sitting with a smile.The corners, ever cracking.No one will see the reality of me.Stay Strong, stay happy.That’s all that they want of me.
I guess I can say I am normal shapped now for an american guy. Not fat, but not skinny;
Becuase I have "love handles" with some chunk on the belly front lol
My heart beat increases when I hear their wispers beyond,
The sound is so strong I feel it supress me,
Don't you have secrets you can't tell anybody?
Secrets you've kept like sacred promises?
All your life feels like an unopened box
If you let the light in, your demons escape.
Have your eyes ever fallen upon it
A tragedy lost among the comedies
How they all cry mystical fallacies
Yet one is quick to assume the opposite
Don't show me shapes from your cutter
They’re spelling beautiful wrong these days.
It’s not B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L, it’s B-A-L-D.
It’s the gown with the bows in the back,
The mint green color that’s trending this summer.
Behind the curtain I stand
afraid of who I am
hiding the person they see from the man that I am.
in truth I am shattered
a million tiny pieces.
swept under the rug and covered by those teases
When other people live their life through you,
it's almost like studying for a class you did not sign up for.
Observe,
Obey,
Follow,
Conform.
I am screaming.
I am screaming.
My words clog my throat like a rag.
Stuffed in violently,
So as not to come out,
But simply be
There
A muffled outcry.
These hands are not my own.
The take away fom me.
With these shaking hands I have not grown.
I am supposed to be a healer, cutting free.
A surgeon's scalpel can not be so different from a pencil.
Avert thine eyes
From these cold stars sculpted upon my face
From my arms painted fools gold
Avert thine eyes
From these hands of obsisidon
From this mouth full of bitter fruit
Who am I?
am I who they all say I am
or am I just a figment of who they want me to be?
am I really that wonderful or is that just a cover of my madness?
What does this world look like on the other side of the Drapes?
Is it green like lettuce, red like tomatoes, or is it purple like grapes?
I will never know, unlike the farmer who tends to his field,
Behind this curtain, you will see,
a girl so different from the outward me.
A life worth a million lies,
I put up a happy face to conceal my cries.
In order to hide my self-proclaimed imperfection,
I am dying on the inside
And it is getting hard to hide.
No one seems to see
What is really going on with me.
quiet, mysterious, alone
who is that girl in the corner?
i want to say something, but i don't know what
i want people to know the real me
i want to break free
i'm opening up, making friends
I Just want you to know who I am
Who I've been all along
Not afraid of rejection
Not afraid of what you think
But I never say anything
I run and hide
I don't want you to think any different of me
I've always hid behind the curtain
Walls of every color
Too afraid for them to know the real me
Afraid of acceptance
Afraid of appreciation
Afraid it won't be the same
But now it's time they know
I am broken
But not in the way you think
My cane is just an accessory to me
It’s my mind that is the true issue
The truth is I’m scared
Being like this is hell
Living behind a curtain? It's what we all do. I used to think it was just me. But now I see its everyone, maybe even you.
They say one door opens another closes
But it seems I’m stuck in the threshold
Drag me down an empty hallway
One fool’s junk another’s gold
Suck it up for the onlookers
Like I’m having a grand time
You don't know me
I hide who I truley am
I act different around everyone
I say what others what me to say
I can't make you change
I can't make you love
I can't make you be who you were
I can't make you be everything
I can't make you love me
Make me believe
Make me trust
Will you walk away?
Would you walk on by
If I ignored you now
would you say goodbye?
Would you tell me it's not me you love anymore
If I asked you to
Will you stay?
Let's make this last forever
You're so Delerious
Let's be serious
It's you and me
Take what you want
All of me
I have what I need
All of you
Take off your clothes
Guard down and all,
I use to think I had a home,
now I have no home ,
now all I do is play a guessing game outside in the cold,
guessing who am I?,
lost myself in the process,
(Verse 1)
Day by day.
I'm so glad you left.
My life hasn't been better since that day.
When you said goodbye.
You walked out.
I cried.
It hurt so bad.
(Verse one)
Do you remember when it was just me and you?
On that hot July afternoon
You took me by the hand
led me into the woods
And whispered "I love you"
When it's after midnight and you're next to him and he just looks at you, the moon making his eyes look like stars. It feels like the moment is just frozen right there.
I will not love.At least not you.My life has gone.Passed me byToo many tears.So much painI will try to learn to love againBut not for you.
(Verse 1)
I promised to wait for you.
You wasted my time,
and took too long.
I decided to move on.
I'm no longer yours.
Spended too much time waiting for you to come around and take me away.
(Verse 1)
Just one wrong word.
Can turn this all around.
End everything we ever had.
Destroy the love that we always dreamed of.
I don't wanna be the one wanting you back.
(Verse 1)
I thought we might of had another chance.
But you're already gone.
I wish I could go back to the start of it all.
I didn't realize how easily you could move on.
(Verse 1)
So many things to say.
Always holding back...
Every last word.
There's so much I wish I could just finally tell you.
Like the way I love you.
(Verse One)
You set my heart burning up in flames .
You just drive me insane.
You'll never understand how this was never love,
that I was feeling.
The legend of the koi fish goes that if the koi fish swims up the waterfall
it one day it will become a dragon.
Since I was little,
Happy girl. Nice girl. Innocent girl. “Cute” girl.
This happy face I put on for everyone, tells them these things
The innocent stories I tell, tell them these things
The nice songs I sing, tell them these things
The person I am can probably say a lot more than the cage itself I've dwelled upon since birth. I never found the courage to exhibit the
THE SHY ME WHO HIDES BEHIND AN IMPOSTURE SMILE
NEVER DARES TO RELEASE HERSELF BECAUSE SHES A CHILD
SHE HIDES HER VOICE,TEAR,AND HER LAUGH
TO BLEND IN WTIH THE THE CROWD THAT LAUGHS AT HER BACK
Crying in my room.
I just want to be accepted.
Just want to be loved.
I don't know why it has to be like this.
With so many people that already can't stand me.
How could I ever show them the real me?
People keep saying that I could just leave
They say, it is as simple as walking away
(How could they know?)
They say, I’m strong, and that I can preserver: (How can I?)
Misogyny
By Bre Jon Harris
I am me not what they portray me to be
Misogyny
What’s that???
Hatred for women I see
Politically
Does this strengthen the legitimacy?
I am from scorching heat and dried roots,
From tumble weeds and one great salty lake,
Surrounded by tall mountain walls,
I am from a small, sparkling city in a bowl shaped valey,
The poems I write will bring tears to your eyes
Speaking only and always of loneliness and fear.
Everyone knows me
They like me at best
I'm the funny guy in class
making jokes out of tests.
Are they really my friends
or am I just comic relief?
I make a mask out of smiles
Death, Disease, and Lonliness
Abandonment, War, and Fears
All kept behind life's curtain
When I first arrived here
I brought with me
a rough transparent hunk of stone
I held it out at all times
For the world to see
And when light shined onto it
This bottle contains my sadnessEvery little ounce of despair.Through open doors it migratesHidden with a quickly donned veil.
As I walked the halls I could feel it creeping over me
I checked my shoulders but no was there to see
I could feel it lurking in my shadow
As I walked past a window and saw my reflection
who am i?
I am suposed to be the homecoming queen
Most know me as the treasurer of our class
I am the varsity goalie of the soccer team
I am the 400 meter hurdler of our track team
"it's okay to be you"
"i won't judge"
"speak your mind"
but if i do, you will judge
i know you
i have lived with you my whole life
i know you
The man behind the curtain, the face behind the mask.
One beautiful soul, behind a treacherous task.
A woman of inseurity, concentrating on what she lacks-
I try to smile
And show kindness
To those who may need it
But sometimes I wish
They could see behind the curtain
The veil that I have on
It's there to keep people from seeing
We all hide behind something in this unpredictable world.I for one hide behind a curtain.
I've been told to come out from behind this curtain with dignity,confidence,self-esteem,and pride.
The fear of growing old can effect a person extremely, one does not grow old to be closer to death, but one step closer to eternal life.
When I think of “my identity”, I think, “The naturally straight-A son, the church goer who worships God, the boy who likes girls. This is me.
There's a mask I use to present myself to white friends saying things, like, "Oh Em G,"
and shit like, "Yeah, Totally."
If you could
have the chance to start all over
If you could
change what you may have done
If you could
take back what you said
If you could
alter the mask that you have worn so long
Behind the curtain, you’ll never see
What I really feel
What I truly believe:
I can never be healed
There’s far too much treachery
Lurking in my past
The horrible memories
It's 8:03pm
and applying
for scholarships.
And my mom just scolded
me on the burdens
of student loans.
Like I didn't know....
Just found
slam behind the curtain.
I am different.
I do not resemble the brown skinned, brown haired people I have grown up with.
The faces I saw in kinder are the same faces I see as a senior.
Not much ever changes, but I have on the insisde.
I'm not a robot, I have my thoughts
Don't always show them, it's a little tough
I feel so tongue tied, get stomach knots
from my big fear of not being good enough.
This mask I wear must now come off
A quiet stone stillness
Flushed by petal skin
Glowing but whispering
Eyes painted with grim
Black lines suggest somber
Whimsy chilled by
Apathetic limbs worn
By an apricot smile
Shadowed over
don't look at me
Like a rover
I'll never be
Self infliction
will ever stand
Hostile friction
is in my hand
Show myself
to take a chance
On a shelf
Pretty Every day they tell her she is pretty People she never met They walk up to her and as if it is their duty to humanity they tell her she is so pretty I want to be just like you Perfect A day doesn't go by that she doesn't hear that word The
STOP and listen.
Hear the song that is singing within my heart.
It is desperately trying to break through.
Yank me out of the garden in which I have grown my roots.
No one will ever truly know me. How can they when they never even try because I smile they assume im happy. No one knows me. I hide behind mask. They never did get it. No one knows me.
Why is it such a big deal?
Why is it such an issue?
If a girl wants to sag her pants and get fresh like the guys do
she can
Why is it such a bother?
If a girl would rather be her child's father
I can
Its funny that this Slam was chosen, I had written a litteral poem my freshman year literally called "The Mask"
The mask is constructed
To hide you away
You appear happy
You appear kind
Skin, bones, blood, flesh
A body
Inside, a mind that’s loving and kind
A girl who just wants to reach out and connect
Thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories
All anxious to be shared
I stand in front of my worst enemy, the mirrorI stare at my 5 foot 7 large frame body and I begin to cry
I often ask myself,
a morbid question I do admit:
When my life is done,
when my memorial candle is lit,
what will be my eulogy,
How will they remember me?
I often fear that
Theres a innocent young woman there,
Hiding behind makeup and long hair,
She smiles for the impression of others,
Because the only person she can be true to is her mother.
Her scars' could not be overlooked or hiden said the mirror. There was still danger near said the fear in her eyes. She had no home to go said the dingy backack that hung on her back. Who is she said the comunity that was quick to misjudge her.
Nobly and drab,
heavy curtain
hangs toward justice.
Righteousness hides
primitive desire’s
poetry read to the meter
of heartbeat.
Sacred service, trust,
churning guilt at the ignition,
They say to act your age.
They say to be strong.
They say to always be lady like.
They say to be skinny to be pretty.
They say to watch your opinion so no one is offended. .
Who are they anyway?
She has a face of innocence but that doesn't mean she doesn't have a bit of fire in her. She fights with her words and not with her fists, compared to fists her words are a thousand swords going into your dark soul all at once.
Does anyone remember when they were little,
And they loved to play pretend?
Yeah...me neither.
But it seems that,
As we grow older,
Learn the twists and cavities
Boroughed into our bodies
Deep within me is the pain of imperfection.
In the day, demons sleep,
but in the night, they’re steady pressing.
Fallen dreams begin to scheme,
and I can’t seem to leave;
that is my problem, why
When it comes to being myself I know the outcomes of failure pull me behind the open doors, so while their open and wanting I will not walk through them because if I fail I know I'll never leave again.
As I look in the mirror, my gaze lowers as I slowly look away
"That’s neither who I am nor the person I want to be."
Who I am on the dull surface doesn’t compare to the rainbow girl within.
Lets live for today
Let past troubles fade away
Let go of the uncontrollable, its not here to stay
So why do we
worry about other things
they dont matter, they dont matter
Nothing is here to stay
Faint smile and emerald eyes,
and yet myself I sometimes despise.
Cold limbs and delicate thoughts,
and yet my love I sometimes let rot.
Active pulse and steady breathing,
Armor plating to shield my soul.
A fragile existence thrice tortured,
Marinating in sardonic contempt,
Masked by a pretty face
And an empty smile.
False confidence,
False cheer.
Behind the smoke I beg for it to be a high
The mirrors show a pageant queen, doe eyes, a glimmering smile
But with all the pompous in the world, I could never be, she
I am crumbling
Covered, veiled, hidden, but strong,
Your thoughts about me are probably wrong,
Mother, daughter, wife, most importantly – BELIEVER
Uniform on the outside, but inside I am FREER –
"My momma told me when I was young...
We were all born SuperStars..."
Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" lyrics should speak to me
I should embrace who I am indeed
I have always wanted to pursue a career in music
That smart girl at the back of the room
Who is she?
"Just a two-dimentional nerd"
As if, I'm so weird I'm four-dimentional
"She is too busy studying to have a life"
I once was a sunken ship buried to the ground. I carried a burden so heavy it held me down. I felt so trapped it kept me bound. I felt as if I had drowned. I let go of the past and then I flew.
Sometimes I fall between the lines
And I ask myself why I'm here this time
Everybody is going ninety down the highway,
And I'm stuck on the side, wondering why,
I was never able to hitch a ride
Everyone's always told it
be true to how you feel,
but what happens when
what you show isn't real?
why do we always feel
the need to hide what's true
why do we always feel
Behind this black mask
I cross the side of ice and fog
It is neither crowded nor loud
Fear surrounds your soul
Give me your eyes
So I can see
Much more than this disguise
Much more than sensibility
Imperfection eclipsed by glory
I realize now
Hiding and fronting
Is what I am about
I wake up to cosmetics and perfumes everyday to seem presentable to the world outside.
I am an old oak tree whose roots of the past keep me standing tall and strong through storms.
I am the clarinet of a beginning musician; it takes time for someone to grasp how all my keys work together to make a beautiful melody.
It’s not a mask
Or a disguise
It’s not a shroud of smoke I use to conceal my true form
Although I am a monster, sometimes
I can be that harmless little bunny that you’re surprised to see
What am I hiding?
Sadly, thats not the question.
My question, the one that hangs on my shoulders is,
What are you hiding?
Because, believe it or not, I can see it.
People want me to work hard
People expect me to be a Genius
It's all Math and Science
People expect me to be a Model
It's all make-up and hair fixed right
I'm a people pleaser so they get what they want
I first entered this world from behind a curtain
into a bright world.
The first man who touched me wore a mask.
A bright yellow mask,
which only showed his eyes.
I am wrapped up in this curtain
it is killing me I'm certain.
This curtain portrays what they want see
a smiling and happy me.
What happened if I took off this disguise?
Hey look, it's the man behind the curtain!
No, wait, that is just me and it looks like I'm hurtin'.
I can't open the curtain to who I truly am.
If they don't like me I'd get slaughtered like a lamb.
As a pre-teen, I avoided nakedness as much as any other would.
My body was not what I had imagined it would become.
I had mounds of fat that sagged from my sides that caused brown straight marks to form along my lower back
I'm my own mind,thoughts, and process
Creating thoeries from my past
Asking why did I turn out the way I am
Thinking sullenly like the dark clouds in the sky
When I walk down the street,
Talking to the people I see,
I can't help but wonder,
If who they see is really me.
To them I am funny and kind,
I always have a smile on my face.
I don't think like others,
I don't talk like others,
I don't look like others,
I don't play like others,
Ladies and Gentlemen
Peter K. Amezcua
We are often told to “Not to judge a book by its cover”
But why give a book a fake appearance if it differs on the inside?
"Pay No Attention"By Samantha S. MastorioThose around me see someone grand,Someone carefree and full of energy,Little do they know, little do they see,
Dodging bullets and menacing glares,
Trying to survive behind a facade.
Every day is a struggle,
Between being who you tuly are
And disappointing your family.
The constant shame and guilt
There is no honesty in a curtain
What it conceals could be either False or Naked
And sometimes it is Naked clothed in False garments
But what is False would never stand to be Naked
I can not see myself
Within the confines of these walls
Bright red words are slashed everywhere
Loser
Ugly
Pathetic
Fat
I can not see myself
Behind these rules and images
Skinny
Who is looking at you?
Your friends,
Who bring out your best?
Your kids,
With clear, innocent eyes?
Your wife,
Love etched in her gaze?
You must be strong for them.
There are many me's as there are many you's, the kinds that keep low and hide in their minds and the kinds that speak out the truth. Have you ever noticed, when you went out to eat, that the waitress spoke sweetly and loud?
“Moi et mon Rideau ” (Me and my Curtain)
So you ask why, a poet like myself, is hiding behind a curtain,
It’s simple; it’s a security blanket.
It started when she was young
never thought shed be numb
she knew that she was me so
I thought the boys would see
The pretty girl in side
It turns out I was lied to
The only person that I knew
I am one of the 2% of American teenage girls
who don't shpw their feelings
In fact I hate it
I will do anything to keep people from getting the notion that I even have emotions
Happines is a just an allusion
You see the smile and draw the conclusion
Anger, Depression, Frustration is what she hides
laughing on the outside
slowily dying on the inside
The true me, the true me, Can you argue with what you do see?
Beauty and Kindness all wrapped into one, a benevolent demeanor non-regarded as the sun.
Loneliness. The pain of being alone and ignored. Different isn't always better. The world only accepts those who conform. So what's left?
Solitude.
As the sun vanishes and the moon rises, our reign over the dark forest commences
No animal can stop us even the predators that top us, we hunt in packs
This is the key to our notorious attacks. Our prey become easy targets
The girl with the big smile
Who laughs and talks and is feeling great
"Hi! How are you? Sir, can I take your plate?"
Running until the end of the day
All day long with that smile on her face
She awakes from a night of taunting dreams
Let’s her mind wander upon the happenings of the day
Soaks it in and just breathes
With a tear of hopelessness
She applies her make-up to only hide her true beauty
I'm stuck.
Stuck here with these people,
Doing things that make me unhappy.
...And things that make them unhappy
I go to the very place of my unravelings everyday against my own will.
Behind the curtain
look and see
quiet and fearful inside
its me.
Looking for someone who'll love me for me
not just someone to add to my family tree.
makeup
botox
reconstruction surgey
all this to alter your self
you're pretty
you're gorgeous
unique in your own way
nothings wrong with these things
just don't be dependent on it
They stare, they talk, they judge.
I run through the streets,
drive past strangers,
walk through the hallways.I’m present, but am I really present?
I’d rather wear the mask
than listen to you laugh.
How does it feel?
Bob Dylan asks.
The mask is fixed as wax
figures trapped behind glass. But
You tell me I'm beautiful when you see I have different shades of make up on. You tell me I'm beautiful because I bought a new bra and you can see it through my shirt.
One question I avoid at all costs: Who am I? One question to rule them all: Who do they think I am? Are these one in the same? If not, I am to blame.Misery sets in to weaken me,
The bark, the initial impression people have.Seemingly tough and perfect.
Yet you peel that bark awayand you'll find layers upon layers.
A mask is the safest form of deciet
I hide behind a disguise
A disguise of extreme optimism or pessimism
To keep people from knowing how empty I sometimes feel inside,
I don’t know who I am
I’ve been someone else for so long
Being who I have to be
To get along
To win, to succeed
I wonder if there is a real me.
It makes simple things hard
Silence speaks volumes, words are louder. Honesty is the best policy, freedom is in your words. Let your light shine and the darkness hide. Speak your mind loud with you head held high.
Why do we hide who we are on the inside?
Are we worried about judgement?
We don't want to be denied by the people we love?
My parents are dead
And that has changed everything
Everything that I could or would have been is different
My fear consumes me now
Fear ravenous and deadly, it dictates who I am
I walk the streets by night
I want to do ballet.
NO. You’re not flexible enough.
I want to do beauty pageants.
NO. You’re not near attractive.
Ok.
I’ve made six A’s and one B this quarter.
I pull up to the stone-made mansion
In my ball gown and mask
Nobody will know who I am,
But who's going to ask?
Behind the curtain, behind the mask
It all sees daydream
But it is what is tasked
It's never what it seems
The needles, the germs,
The casts, the genes.
Expected me to be my turn
My friends are brilliant
but not smart enough to see
my face is a mask
at night i go home
finally free from constraints
i see the mirror
the face reflected
seems unfamiliar to me
The boy behind the curtain,
Was hiding his man.
He couldn't bring himself,
To take his own stand.
What other people saw,
Was just their own reflections.
The eyes. A key to your soul.
The nights they are filled with tears. The days they are filled with hurt.
Nothing can compare to this deep, dark hole
That I am in because of one night alone.
When that curtain opens I am the center of attention. I'm confident, happy, and a joy to look at. You see me as you want to see me; you see what I show. An actor and a character role, but never the real me.
Memories of destruction,
On my heart and mind
Sewing up the wounds,
Caused by my once upon hero,
Who turned into the villain
Life isn’t a fairytale,
Yet I’m stuck in a castle,
Once upon a time, my mother's words would enlighten me.
Now life's obstacles frighten me
I pray to the skies hoping that these evil spirits could be harnessed
and my soul could escape this never ending darkness
A flower doesn’t concern itself with the one beside it
It grows independently in time,
Ring-ding-dong
A man casts a shadow upon the lawn.
Ring-ding-dong
To her chamber he is drawn.
Ring-ding-dong
A kiss he gently lays upon,
Ring-ding-dong
The brow of beauty long foregone.
through joking eyes
clown smile
and ridiculous ties,
this girl gets through the day
she really tries.
slouching on the couch
kicking off the heels,
10 feet too high,
I intentionally joined the am and I,
I have done it so much but why do I lie,
I lie to myself about who I am,
I walk into the bathroom, see the mirror, BAM!
The outside world sees me as a crazy,
i hear an echo
Where did it go?
Disappearing into the atmosphere
How can it be described?
Like a rain drop blending into the ocean waters
As a iguana blending into tall grasses
Who am I when nobody sees?
When the wall crumbles what will you see?
Who am I when no one is watching?
What will you hear when I stop talking?
I am silly when nobody sees.
What?! What are you looking at?... I suppose reading me, literally!
You think you know, but you don't . Look at me, you guess, rite.!
Who am I?
It's a tough question, do I answer with my achievements, my dreams, or my friends?
Do you want to know my shining moments or the stories of my scars?
A lion. Brave and Magestic,
don't be fooled by the fierce stare
there are scars hiding there
She fears the life domestic.
I canot bear to bare my face,
For fear of what you'll say.
I try my best to hide inside
So you don't run away.
I try to hide the crazy things
I feel inside my heart.
I try to lock myelf away,
This long, wavy, blond hair represents her soul. It represents the blood, the sweat, the tears of that month. It reminded her of the only thing she felt she had left.
she said winter is a violent lover.
has beaten me so my hands have frozen to become jupiter's moons.
has shattered me till i only remain jagged glass.
-
she said winter is a brutal lover.
The faces turn
And the eyes, they burn.
The can see me.
I can physically feel
Their appraising looks of
Disdain,
Like unwelcome fingers
Raking over my body
And poking
I feel it everyday,
I see it staring back at me;
My body wants to sway.
I've let it consume me like a disease that has no cure.
Why do I let it do that to me?
"Don't be so afraid.": that is my lure.
My life is hidden
Behind the curtain of my fears.
'What if' is the repeating question
Never looking for a reason but always being there
To feed doubt into the monster that is worry.
It's a one-way glass, this curtain of mine.
I can see them all; their thoughts and their feelings
But they cannot see mine.
I can see their anger, their hope and their disapointment
But they cannot see mine.
Honesty's the rarest rebel root
A precious pearl in dark long harboring
Whose maker groans and lifts to bring to fruit
From murky waters cull hours laboring.
Many times I've pondered over my life's purpose
I've had many chances to be heard but none which I was ready for
Many times doors have opened but I stood back watching them close
Pay no attention
To that girl behind the curtain
The true to herself girl
That no one wants to see
Pay no attention
To the face behind that mask
The face with no makeup
That no one wants to see
The deep red, velvety curtain shades her from reality
A mask to hide all sorrows
This thick wall of shame to cover all past sins and tragedies.
The fear of visually displaying yourself to others
The fear of not being accepted for who you are
The fear of living behind closed doors that are locked and
Bolted from the world outside
What is it you see when you see me?
A girl? A person on the street?
Someone you would like to meet?
Am I defined by my clothes?
Or how I fix my hair?
Does it matter, do people care?
Behind my Curtain there are things that peope do not understand. Behind my Curtain are secrets that I wish to keep. Behind my Curtain there is a voice telling me to keep the world away. I have a curtain and it is time that i open it.
I am someone who can find beauty in the strangest places. The bush outside that has gone away for the winter. All alone, with no leaves to keep it company during the long cold season.
As all days before us,and all those to come,those with hidden faces,they learn to be numb.The youth grow with knowledge,with hopes that life is true,The old know by experience,
I don't care. I'm fine. It's all okay. Don't worry about me. Someone help, anyone...are you there? I can't do this alone.
Perhaps, there is an advantage to being many-sided:
People don’t see all of my flaws.
One may know me as particularly introverted
But others will have never seen me outside a group.
One may think I speak too much
They say yeah kid, I feel you. Mistakes pleaded upon by cheap lips.
They cover you in make up, and then they shave your hair
They talk about how we've all come so far and how lucky you are to live in these times
Then they tell you who you should be and why
I’d like to say I have nothing to hide,
That everything I am is revealed on the outside.
The only place I am completely me, inside and out,
My mask is glued
It does not come off at night
or in the shower
It does not come off.
I did not choose this mask
I did not choose these purple bags that rest so easily underneath my eyes
Show your true form, you are handsome inside
Draw your curtains and have some self pride
Make-up your face and hid your flaws
Oh! It's only for girls but don’t give boys
a girl living on the top of a very high mountain
sat in her house all day
every day
and looked down on a village
far in the reaches of her sight
to the point
that she almost wasn’t able to see it
Oh you came to my house with a fire in your eyeI was 18 and you were 25But I couldn't love you even if I triedBecause you don't even know my nameBut I can't cry for her she didn't care
I stare into the reflection on the mirror.
It’s me, no one else.
That girl is confident and free
Fills the space of silence with her voice;
she’s loud and there’s nothing wrong with that.
How easy would it be to let go?
To let free my fears and sorrow.
Would the cries be silenced?
Along with my heart and blood be silenced.
Facing the world with a smile,
An illusion is all that it is.
Giving myself a heart attack from all the stress I put on my arteries.
Too innocent to know any better, or is it the opposite?
A written letter stained with rubies from my veins.
A smile on my face
To decieve those around me
A fraudulent demeanor
To fool both them and thee
Kindness and warmth on the outside
A shield for my innermost self
The darker ego that is my person
Constantly told for 18 years
I'll never be good enough.
That I'll never get to leave
the small town I am from,
to pursue my future goals.
So I when I finally do,
I finally leave that town
Behind The Curtain Pay No Mind to the Man behind the Sagittarius
I keep my head down,
I keep my mouth closed.
In all my life ive never been,
myself, i suppose.
I am a contradiction,
not one self-imposed.
My mind is spinning, perpetually alive,
my heart;
The light from my window pane has crossed the path of my glass framed mirror.
I stare deeply into the image of I and realize the flaws of my outer and inner most being.
The light from my window pane has crossed the path of my glass framed mirror.
I stare deeply into the image of I and realize the flaws of my outer and inner most being.
So pick me up,
examine me,
try to understand me
because everything I do gives away my hand.
Every word I say,
every thought I think,
Magic Mirror on the wall
Do you really reflect it all?
Do you see the true beauty beneath my skin?
Do you see my heart that bleeds?
My soul that cries
The building rage that I must constantly deny.
What do I see when I remove this mask.?
This mask that i have been creating for so long.
What do you see when you look into my eyes?
Do you see the smile I wear, as fake as it may be.
Snap !
Zoom, get centered more, then delete.
Twenty to fifity shoots until we get the one that is unique.
Taking photos for others to critique.
I’ve been exhausted in vain
Becoming a waste of space
Growing used to verbal abuse
For a minimum wage
I find myself in a vast dessert of uncertainty.
Unable to tell my moments of clarity and sense of direction
from the many mirages that block my path.
My steps were once loud and clear with conviction,
I’ve got something in common
With all of those kids you see in movies
Who lie together and watch the stars
And wonder aloud
Frozen in that moment of calm contemplation
Underneath all of the skin and bones
With you
there are no words to say.
you seem to
take my breathe away.
I finally
took
a
chance,
and you,
gave me
a
second
glance.
I'm like wet clay
Altered by the hands of others
Forcibly changed to become what someone else desires
Well liked when expectations are met
I'm cold like a corpse
I am concealed in my mask of mystery
Eluding everyone everyday as to who I truly am
Almost no one knows of my backstory
Of my struggles
Of my woes
They would rather see the mask I wear
If you're not perfect, then 99% of the time, you're not good enough
Mantra, philosophy, motivation
It binds me like ropes
It controls me like a puppet
It restricts me like chains
So "I think therefore I am",What a pearly phrase,Slung 'round and 'round from corner to corner and ear to ear,
Each evening as the lights dim
Consciousness unleashes its whim
Ever so thouroughly pervades the mind
Over the years
My parents' divorce
My struggles , My fears
Never letting anyone close or near
I’m that type of girl with the needy descent.
I hear the voices surrounding me, killing me, so profoundly.
There’s an acidic curtain made out of the strongest built ever made;
Every human wears a veil,
It is one that we choose to wear,
Not because we want to, or because it's fair,
But because we seem to think on a much bigger scale
It's partially true, I don't know who I am,
My first face is one timidity, of shyness and of meekness
Bowing for others more "superior", convinced of my supposed weakness,
The second face is a jovial one, meant to placate and pacify,
Dynamic energy
Pounding
Pulsing
Begging to escape
And I won't let it
Though bright
Though powerful
Though brilliant
It is vulnerable
It is afraid
My apologies to the audience (In regards to thedeath of my sadness). Oh, how many of you turnedagainst me since the year of last, castrating myfruited labor ever so fast. Funny, I thought you were
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
He’s the cowardly one,
The loveless man.
He’s the one who hides his faults,
Putting up a façade the best that he can.
You see a young lady who is talented and smart.
She stands.
Some say she is the epitome of who Stands for what's right.
She stands.
What's a little white lie without a little fun
Because 'Fun' is what life is about
Nothing matters as long as you're having a good time
I'll be a 'Her' instead of 'Me'
Opening my eyes I see the dept of world;
A little girl stuck in a throing of flies.
Flies who are too blind to see the tears in my eyes,
Laughing to lies.
She was a lively girl, unique and different.
She laughed, danced, and loved to express herself
but everyone looked at her as if she was crazy.
Crazy because she didn't conform to society,
the curtains open
Put on your make-up
Wake up. You live in a world that demands perfection
I don't have super long hair, or pearly white teeth
I don't have rich parents and in my room, no, there is not a huge bed where I sleep
I don't have a Bentley, or even a license for that matter
The colors splash on the canvas, creating a little picture.
Blue paint and red paint collide to create dark, purple skies
And at the bottom of the canvas, in the small corner a little girl sits,
As a warm - hearted introvert,
I feel as though
I need to convert,
from always feeling humility
to a personality of audacity.
I feel trapped inside a freezing box,
with multiple steal locks.
Confident, Shy
which is the lie?
What do they wish to see?
Why can't they leave me be?
Strong, Weak
I can barely speak.
What they see and what they know
all of which is just a show.
How difficult is it to simply be ourselves?
At a young age we're all taught that who we are isn't enough-
Not tall enough, they say.
Not pretty enough, they say.
Not smart enough, they say.
The mirror doesn't look like who I want it to be
I thought it would resemble the birds who ride the winds
I thought it would be free
When I hear them sing their song
I wish it were me
There she stands, with her past far behind her. Yet so close it just reminds her. Memories of the mistakes and the bullies. The disability that has kept her.
there was a me before you
just as i know there will be a me after you
after all we are seperate people
with seperate thoughts
and seperate souls
and beliefs and ideas
and likes and dislikes
I ask calmly
Fear hidden behind serious lips
And dry cheeks
As I pretend I have swallowed
The pain I felt everyday was a knife to my heart
The days went by in darkness and no hope
So close to just calling it quits and letting the sea take me away
But then the day came which threw me a surprise
She's conceled behind the curtain, listening to the footsteps of her prey.
In her mind she wonders just how long she'll be around to play.
The sheep follow the shepard
As the shepard followed the Messiah
So I ask why cant we be like sheep and put down our guard
We as sinners follow our desire
The same desire that makes us sad
Why does the world judge us?
They act like the victims,
yet they're holding the gun.
Why does the world judge us
when we learn from our mistakes
and we're just having fun?
Just because we're different
Everyone leaves me.
This façade is so much simpler than the real me.
She is happy and lifts everyone’s spirits up,
who is she?
I never knew her and I still don’t.
Very well groomed, always clean
Unkept, unshaven, and periodically obscene
Focused, driven, and ready to work
Distracted, halted, forever needing a job
I am the man with which you would share your life story
Some see me as an embodiment of light
But a streak of darkness flows through these veins
To them: I am witty, friendly, perhaps even bright
But I am more. And its this that pains
I differ in home than I do in school, in stores, in Restaraunts; in places out of home.
When it comes to school, the strong love and affection I Feel for my friends, my adoration, hide within my Bodies' boundaries.
Who I am
Is not well known.
A quiet girl with curly hair
is all I seem to thee,
but under this mask is a superstar trying to break free.
That stage is only a platform she stands upon, the audience, meer shadows that occupy otherwise empty chairs.
My jokes are like my armor
Something to hide behind
Something everyone can laugh at
Without ever seeing my mind
For if they were to pierce my armor
And see what lies beneath
One step at a time
A skill already learned
Walls up, Im guarded
Hiding within the shadows, nothing left unturned
Retreat..
I once was a girl with fear whispering in her ear. Pulling me far and drawing me near. Weaving poison into a story to be merged within my very being. There to sieze a whiff of the life I was breahthing.
I have a weakness for boys, but what female doesn’t?
Want a guy to make me the spotlight, like Jennifer Hudson
Awakened by the sounds of screaming
Put asleep to the noises of disaster
Voices constantly piercing
Heart rate still increasing
See life isnt what it used to be
Life is like a big secret
No one really knows how you lived your life or
Grew up
What you did and how you thought
To the current point and time
There’s one part of you that everyone sees
The mask you ask, is it there?
Do I hide myself inside?
For me, I'm proud to say it's nowhere.
Though the mask, I mean's been tried.
I used to live behind that mask,
I knew it all too well.
While a mirror reflects the way we look,
No one ever sees themself.
As others can see us,
You can also see them too.
People think themselves to be
Deserving of friends, being wealthy;
I try to hide myself
From everyone else
I am not ashamed
For I am not insane
But my heart yearns for love
From each and everyone
We are forced to wear a mask
A storm cloud brews in the depths of my heart
All anyone sees is the smiles
No one looks deeper
To see the façade
All anyone sees is the mask
Even my friends seem to think nothing’s wrong
My all encompassing fear
It formed chains around my body
Every limb, every piece of me
Chained down
Every movement created such the echo
The chains would clack and clank and creak
They watch me close.
Can they guess the next move?
I keep my pose.
So many try to shove.
Watchful eyes
It keeps me afraid.
They pester my thoughts.
It's as if I've left a debt unpaid.
Little girl lost and alone
Won’t pick up the phone
Too scared to go back home
The bottles kept stacking up
Daddy didn’t you have enough
Anger grew, We all knew
What he was going to do to you
Did you ever wonder why i hide ? , im a shy girl in dispised
i hid their in the night and come out at day
not to associate nor play
i have no friend i get teased alot
Who gives a damn about the real me. Nobody
Nobody really cares about who you are
Whenever you talk to someone you are just speaking to their repersentative
People who try to be real are shunned
The nip of the blade sinks deep into the skin,
Adrenaline rushing through every cell with each sweep,
Feeling like you will be forever happy and unstoppable,
Once it fades, all you want to do is weep.
Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain,
But she is the real me.
The woman you see is a fake,
Pretending to be what others like to see.
Staring in the glass
I see not my reflection
But instead the reflection of a shell
A shell that contains the genuine me
The tender woman
Whom is the definition of being more than what others perceieve
I hide files of myself into steel vaults
keeping the code to myself
not letting anyone else see
who I am
and what I hide
But only what I pretend to be
In all these years
I still have not come
Behind the Curtain,
I am a mere man,
Trying to live life the best I can,
Just like the other 7 billion people on Earth.
Behind the Curtain,
I am a dreamer,
You can look at me
And think you seen all that need to be seen
But the truth is you cant even see the half of me,
Lay the bricks up higher, realize the mortar is all but gone, you have built this wall, do you bask in its beauty, or realize it is not a clear reflection of who you are, do you want others to know, are you sure, ok.
My eyes are the windows to my soul
What's inside of me does it glitter like gold?
Take a sneak peek just to see the real me
to whom I express my individuality
A chameleon blending
My person bending
To match all the colors surrounding
My expression is cool
As I walk into school
But meanwhile my heart is pounding
White are the nerds
They say you need to be a certain way. They say you need to have courage. They say you need to be successful. They all say something.
I don't know what I want.
Making plans, I feel stable.
But he sees concrete.
I am not concrete.
He is the wind and I can't
Fly without a map.
I am a river,
pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
the one who wants to
but can't socialize when working
pay no attention to the boy in the closet
who stays there
because his father beats him like he's lost it
Behind this face, behind this smile, theres a girl that no one knows. She's scared. She feels like she's living in the past, back when her step dad, the man she loved, would beat her and scare her.
I am Marley,
The child of the long lost south.
You have never met me, but heard of me by mouth.
Bombarded with questions since the day I have arrived
I try my best to mold and change myself to fit in with a group,
I put on my best act, and change my views to be acceptable to a crowd,
but it never works out and my cover is always blown,
You are hilarious, the joker, the funny one
the comic relief
Quips fall off Your tongue like water and raise off Your body like sunlight and You
“Take a look”
She tells me, and I shake my head
Desperately wanting to clear my mind of all her encouraging words
I refuse to look at that mirror
Covered in steam and laced with jewel’s
“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.”
I am just a woman who hides behind things.
I know one thing is for certain,
What keeps me from being who I am
It's nothing but the fear of judgement
What (who) will I lose if I dare to expose myself
As the person that I know I am inside.
Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain,
I don't matter anyway,
If people knew, and had the choice,
They wouldn't ask for me to stay.
They'd want the empty eyes,
The real me?
She's outgoing, full of life, fearless, speaks her mind.
The me that society has come to know?
A girl who doesn't alway say what she feels.
A girl who is so reserved, so timid.
I am confused about my religion.
I am supposed to be a faithful Christian on a mission.
So why do I feel Muslim?
To God is my submission.
But I would rather call him Allah, Father, or Jehovah.
Fake smiles here fake nods there
listening but never talking
the quiet girl who is quietly walking
knowing in my mind and heart what I truly want to say
but bottling it up and walking away
I put up a front,
and i don't mean to be so blunt,
but the curtain is for me.
I can't look at society.
My mind can be profound,
beautiful, mystical and
intellegent when I am not
around judement or stereotypes.
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul,
Warm, inviting, gleaming with light,
But I have never looked into someone’s soul,
Nor have I looked at my own,
I am denying myself the sight.
"In a land that is full of opportunity,
I only have on true desire.
To write and sing,
I tell myself I am enough.
From the audience,
I see a smart girl
I see kind girl
I see an honest girl
I see an outgoing girl
I see a small town dreamer
Beauty dripping on the floor, tears that no one could see
The who, what, and where, from the comparison of you and me
I am short not tall
My voice does not reign, but is small
I feel worthless, but I was bought
Through glossy eyes I view the world
In colors to beautiful to describe
But all you see when you look at me
Is a young man with starry eyes
It's not like I haven't faced a crucible
Can I join in?Can I be part of your little niche?Can I join in?Can I feel like I'm part of a new subset?I don't want to be just another person.I don't want to be me.I want to be part of the scenery.
I hide because I'm scared of meof how weak I might actually beI'm not so pure, and fair of skinbut I act like that's who I've beenas a child I was raised "white"Even though my skin isn't light
People will say I'm happy and brave,
But the real me is scared and afraid.
I'm afraid to mess up and afraid to cry,
Afraid to hurt and afraid to die.
I feel so alone in this world so big,
My Entire life I've always heard the words "Grow Up"
But , What If "Growing Up" Wasn't on My Agenda ?
I can walk the walk
and talk the talk
with the best of them,
but its not what I want.
Its easier
to go with the crowd
than to follow your own path.
I can fake a smile,
a laugh
Behind the curtain and deep inside
There’s a girl who can no longer hide
She has been hidden too very long
And is no longer able to be strong
Her hopes are high, and savings low
All she wants to do is grow!
A dream shines deep behind my eyes
A hope to be held in eternity
Not as fair as snow
People ask me all the time, "Why are you so quiet?
I usually reply "I don't know", but even I don't buy it.
For years I lived, hiding behind a curtain
Living in fear, always uncertain
I dreaded the days of middle school,
Was my hair a mess? Was my outfit uncool?
But as I grew older I began to realize
Gaze into my bright blue eyes
ask thyself not what lies inside
for not all live curtain conealed
i present for you all what i have to feel
Uninhibited you'll see i am
no mask, or shadows bend my command
Everyone keeps a part of themselves
Locked away
In a place where sometimes,
They don't even know
How to bring their real selves out.
I am one of those people.
There's so much darkness
You do not know me.
The world does not know me.
Of course, there is more to me than what you see
I am open and honest,
A mirror.
Most people have one hanging in their room
Keeping them hanging on each flaw they see
Why I let it keep hanging there, keeping me behind its surface
They said grow up and stop day dreaming.
They said be serious and sit down.
They said don't talk so much and just smile.
They ask me what's wrong and why I am such a bore.
What they don't know is they made me this way.
I bow as my audience applauds
Wave goodbye as the curtains fall
I look toward my crew, who give approving nods
I trudge backstage, sink into a comfy chair
And listen for the sound of nothing at all
The struggle- it's real. But we mask it, and we hide it, and we walk away from it thinking it will finally just disappear. I've struggled many years like countless before me and thousands after me.
I've always wondered what people see when they look at me. When you first lay eyes on her, what do you think? Some see a stereotypical black girl, loud with no self respect. Others may see a quiet, shy child who thinks more and speaks less.
Staring at the image of a reflection,
The glass shrouded in its entirety,
A personification of what must be.
Do you want to see me cry.
Or bleed heavily from heartache.
My mind gushing from a gunshot or stay here in my black box.
The world can be cold especially being raised in the ghetto.
Woke Up with my legs open
and my mind crossed.
"Boys sure do like me"
"boys like me"
"like me"
"me"
Boys like to suck me dry.
my being, my spirit, my soul;
Was it the 8 year loss? Maybe her death and the family of crushed dreams...
Mental issues.. Maybe? All the way from fetal stage,
Most likely genetics from the bloodline, ya Nerd.
'Be yourself.'
How?
I am so many different
People.
At the start of the day,
when the sun has not
fully awaken herself
Family comes first.
That's the one thing mom taught me indirectly
She never said this, but through her actions she taught me--
Family comes first.
I have clouds of sulfur in my eyesThat cloud my truth and give me lies.In my bed awake at night,I lie for hours frozen in fright.He lurks behind my bed,Runs crazy nightmares through my head.
Natural hair on my head writhing like snakes
Skin rich with melanin, with fine, arched brows
Thick lips quick to pout, expression quick to scowl
The face of an angry black woman
I have to go to college because it's expected.
There's no alternative.
She is exhausted.
She walks into her room and shuts the door behind her.
She rests her forehead on the door frame, and stands there for a while,
Just taking a few breaths to herself.
Row upon row bekons to me
As I pass each one by I ask myself
Who will I be today?
The tired one who oozes laziness
The reluctant one who lacks self confidence
The smart aleck, the isolated one?
People say in God we trust
but there are many times I continue to doubt
It bothers me much since He is the one I love
but with lost of hope and constant disappointment
My actions speak louder than my words
Im here but then again im not ,surrounded by this noisy world tuned out and in my thoughts im in this predicament my self spun coccoon.Its hard to describe but its like im stuck peering out to a world where im from but from which i cannot become
pushed and shoved, unknown or forgotten
erased and scared, mummyfied or rotten
looking for a door
longing for more
empted and cornored, damand or amused
settled and awake, quite or abused
You see her laugh
but you never see when she cries
You see her jump
but you never see her fall
You see so little with those 'things' we call eyes
becasue as humans we have learned to disguise
I take hot metal and burn my hair
Running it through piece by piece
Transforming each curly unruly hair
Making it look perfectly straight
I look over my naked body
Searching for misplaced rebel hairs
