Chains of Fear
My all encompassing fear
It formed chains around my body
Every limb, every piece of me
Chained down
Every movement created such the echo
The chains would clack and clank and creak
Bouncing off the bars of my cage
My cage of rules and expectations
These chains controlled my movements
Made me a robot
They told me things
Showed me every mistake over and over and over and over
Until I forgot it all
I forgot my past and who I was
I was just these chains pulling me around
Being jerked about my cage
Their whisperings took the places of my memories
The words seemed so true
Who says I ever cared to feel?
Ever cared to feel the emotions you blather on about?
What if I prefer the coldness of my heart
An absolute empowering nothing
Just black
Then those bars started chanting
I was raised on such a pedestal
Perfection was all that was expected
And it chipped away all my support
Piece by piece it fell away into some abyss
And my mind fell with it
I would try to escape
Such hot anger would flare
I would shake my chains and reach outside those bars
Only to be burned and cut and bruised and broken
I would retreat
The bars would laugh and the chains constrict
I would learn my lesson
To escape was pain
The anger, the emotions was pain
Everything about me was pain
So all there was to do was become numb
The coldness spread from the chains
A void opened within my mind
The mask of indifference formed upon my face
This mask talked
It talked so much
I could not always tell what it said
It hid who I had been
And created who I was to be
I faded into the background
There the mask melted into my skin
We were together for so long
One could not tell us apart
So I formed
I had built myself anew
Within this cage, constrained by chains
I became comfortable
And it was only when I lay on the floor
Crying and even more broken than before
That I realized
This was not what I was meant to be