Silence

I think about suicide all the time,
Even when I don’t, it’s still at the back of my mind,
I try to remember all the time I tried to leave,
I’m aching for this pain to recede,
I’m so tired of feeling worthless,
Like my life means nothing, or even less,
These scars I wear are a burden,
Even a knife can’t stop this hurting,
When I do everything I can to forget,
I remember that my life is just a debt,
That bet that I could forget the pain,
It just made me more insane,
There’s only one cure for my disease,
Trust me it isn’t the magic word: please,
I’m just waiting for my life to come crashing down,
So I can look at the broken pieces all scattered around,
It’s too bad that I’m already broken
Because I don’t plan on death by choking,
I’m waiting for that special day,
When all the light in my life will just fade away,
I’ve been in pain forever, but no one has heard me scream,
I’m not sure that I’ll make it to my sweet sixteen,
This thought does not bother me,
But when I’m gone you will see,
That the pain finally consumed me,
The depression is too much to bear,
It grabs my heart and begins to tear,
As I hear my heartbeat begin to ebb,
My life stops in mid-step,
The debt I owe will be paid in full,
The pain washes over me and begins to pull,
I know I’ll die today,
But when I go there’ll be a smile on my face,
I’m death’s new client,
And finally there’ll be silence.

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